#he's so sweet and supportive and its so nice being with another autistic trans person with ptsd cause theres so much less about myself that
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#personal#i just need to rant somewhere about how much i love my partner!!!!!#he's so sweet and supportive and its so nice being with another autistic trans person with ptsd cause theres so much less about myself that#i have to explain. even though we're different people and have different reactions and feelings and opinions theres still that commonality#like even if i love the texture of velvet and he hates it. i know what its like to feel a texture and feel like my hand is tingling and my#anxiety spike at little sensory things like that. thats just an example but its really nice having someone who is their own person but#still understands the feelings i have and i can understand his. and he's SO incredibly patient. and he's a much more literal and straight#forward person than i'm used to which is such a nice change of pace. growing up autistic there were so many situations where people said or#did one thing but meant another and i struggled to understand them and it led to getting hurt and learning to be hyperaware and overanalyze#every interaction to find out how people were upset with me to the point the littlest thing would be a travesty. but with him its so simple#he means the things he says and doesn't obfuscate or lie to me about stuff he tries to be as open and honest with me as he can and if he#doesn't explain something it's because he doesn't know how to express it not because he's hiding it. i wish i could be more like him#and im trying really hard to learn that and unlearn the tendencies i picked up in toxic situations that make communication hard for me.#he makes me really excited for the future. and he makes me feel safe and supported in a way ive never felt in any relationships before.#its nice knowing i can just be myself around him. all versions of myself and he won't be upset with me for any of them. even if maybe he#should be upset when i get bitchy. but when i start getting annoyed over little things he doesnt pick up on it which gives me time to#analyze why im upset and correct my behavior and do better and calm down instead of getting more overwhelmed and not having any way to#express it except the passive aggressive tendencies i learned throughout my childhood. and when i apologize for that he says he didnt#pick up on things and that i can't help how i feel because its a gut reaction not something i choose. and hes right but also even if i cant#choose how i feel. i can still work on how i react to feelings. and i want to keep getting better at reacting in a more constructive way.#he really honestly values me communicating with him and telling him how i feel. which is SO SO SO incredible and im so lucky to have a#partner who genuinely cares about how im feeling and wants to work with me on it and know how to help because for so long i havent been in#situations where i can express feelings so i just bottle it all up and try to deal with it on my own because people before have used me#talking about feelings as a way to twist things around and blame me for their own problems. or invalidated how i felt. or not cared.#but when i talk to him i know everything he says is genuine so even through all my trauma and paranoia i know i can trust him hes proven#himself to he honest and genuine and legitimate enough times i can trust he's not faking it thats just really the type of person he is and#its so amazing and im incredibly lucky to have someone so patient and kind and supportive in my life <3#and for the first time in a relationship i don't feel terrified of the future! i'm not constantly thinking about when he'll leave me or#when i'll leave him. or how things could go wrong between us and trying to prepare for that so i don't get hurt. i just think about all the#ways i want to build a real future together with him. and when we talk about future stuff like wanting a house even if we might never
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modern era courfius hcs:
for @a-rose-remembered, bae asf
-courfeyrac likes marius from the start. he has it BAD and it absolutely wrecks him when marius starts talking about this girl that he is deadset on being in love with, but courfeyrac is a good friend even when it hurts and helps marius to find and date this girl. he's happy that marius is happy, but it sucks to see him happy with somebody that isnt himself
-marius gets capital d Dumped because cosette realizes that oh my god she just isn't into guys. marius is sweet and she likes him as a friend but being with a man isnt what she wants and he is SO heartbroken and cries to courfeyrac. courfeyrac doesn't use this as an opening because once again, he's a good friend, and chooses to comfort marius and help him move on. it takes a few months for him to totally recover before he starts thinking that courfeyrac is a really good friend and also has very soft, curly hair and very pretty eyes and oh wait-
-bicon marius pontmercy confirmed
-anyway, they both really love halloween and do matching costumes every year. they always pick a new theme and never repeat a costume. joly and bossuet do the same thing, however, and the two pairs are weirdly competitive about it. one year, all four of them show up in matching sexy-zombie-french-revolution-bourgeoisie and it starts a legitimate fight that takes two months for joly and courfeyrac to fully forgive each other. the next year, feuilly and bahorel show up to the party as "joly and courfeyrac fighting in sexy-zombie-french-revolution-bourgeoisie" and neither courf or joly find it funny at all
-marius is trans and just saved up enough to get top surgery last year. courfeyrac was sosososo supportive and helped him out a lot after the actually surgery by lifting things for him and washing his hair and making sure he was comfy all the time and taking his meds and everything. courfeyrac was a very good bf when it really mattered to marius and that made him very very happy
-courfeyrac was also really helpful when it came to unlearning lots of things. marius's household had really old fashioned viewpoints and those fell onto him as well, but after meeting les amis and seeing different kinds of people and listening to their arguments (more listening than talking after the iconic Marius Gets Owned By Combeferre Incident) helped him realize that he had a lot of internal bias and he wanted to be a good person. courfeyrac explains to him when things are particularly harmful to another person or group when he just genuinely doesn't understand why what he said was bad and i also hc marius to be autistic so he appreciates that courfeyrac tells him straight up without being condescending or talking down to him like he's a baby
-courf has so many food allergies. so many. he's lactose intolerant and marius gets so stressed out when he comes home to see courfeyrac eating ice cream straight from the carton because "nnnnooooooooooooo you can't eat that!" but he's still nice enough to bring him pepto-bismol and his lactaid pills when courfeyrac gets a stummy ache
-marius can't stand pickles and a lot of other foods. he's not purposely picky but so many textures of food make him gag and he just can't do it. marius doesn't really like eating out for this very reason because he doesn't want to be in a situation where he just can't stomach something he didn't ask for. courfeyrac notices this when they do go out, though, and he wants marius to eat enough so if an order comes and it has something that marius can't do, he'll go up to ask the worker about it because marius is too anxious to. either that or he'll eat the pickle! courfeyrac loves pickles and he eats them all the time
-THE FISH!!!!! they have fish. courfeyrac has owned a fish every year of his life and he won't stop now. marius moved in and at first he didn't really notice or care about the fish but now he cares just as much as courfeyrac. they both fret the fuck over this little fish in its tank and are horrified of the thought of accidentally killing it. they both have a part-time job of worrying about this fish. its tank is very cute, though. jehan bought them LED lights for the tank and it's very well stocked and decorated for the lil guy
-marius had to have physical affection grow on him and it took a while, but the best way for courfeyrac to work with this was to always ask first and never be surprising. if he wanted to hold marius's hand he'd ask. if he wanted to hug him from behind he'd ask. even after marius becomes desensitized to touch with courfeyrac, courfeyrac still asks for permission every time he wants to do something
-courfeyrac is an attorney (he actually works at the same firm as enj) and marius has a job at a natural history museum. usually once a week, courfeyrac will come over during his lunch break to pick up his bf and they eat at the museum's cafe because marius already has an order he likes to get and courfeyrac is just happy to be there and see his bf
-marius also works in the back part of the museum, cataloguing new items and such and he fucking loves his job. evenings are always very eventful bc he can just infodump about this and that history-related topic while courfeyrac makes dinner
-courfeyrac gets insecure about his looks really easily. he doesn't mean to, but it happens. a lot of people have put so much worth on his looks during his life that he worries that when his looks aren't great, his worth as a person decreases. marius has learned to not be shocked by the occasional meltdown over a breakout or a change in courfeyrac's weight or worst of all- the day courfeyrac found a grey hair. he's not always sure what to say but he can press a kiss to courfeyrac's cheek and reassure him that he still loves him very much and he's still worth very very much as a person if he breaks out on his chin
-marius doesn't smoke weed because it just heightens his anxiety (he's tried it once and will never again), but he doesn't mind courfeyrac smoking. the smoke he isn't a fan of, but courfeyrac usually smokes outside or uses a dab pen so it doesn't bother marius. marius also doesn't mind a high courfeyrac because he gets very sleepy and is very happy and splays himself across the bed
#love love love#les mis#les miserables#les mis headcanons#relationship headcanons#modern era#modern au#les amis de l'abc#les amis#tw weed#tw drug use#tw drug mention#courfius#courfeyrac#marius pontmercy#trans marius
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