#he's reallyyyy grasping at straws

[angie-long-legs]

First of, thank you for talking to me, and being honest. I can tell that it's hard, so I'm proud of you for pulling through, for what is worth. Now, let me tell you a story.

One day, Person A and Person B happened upon each other. It doesn't matter how, it doesn't matter when. Somehow, they ended up at the same room, in the same time, and they really hit it off. The conversation was good, Person B was so charming it was almost obnoxious, and it sweeped Person A off their feet!

It was odd because Person B was by no means perfect. They had some unhealthy habbits, maybe were a little bit rude to others, put to Person A, they were perfect. Romantic, affectionate, considerate, caring, attentive, and a good lover. What more could Person A ever ask for? It felt just like a dream.

As time went on, Person B got just a little less perfect. They were tired, sometimes. A bit grumpy here and there. But that's normal. Everyone has bad days. The honeymoon phase doesn't last forever and Person A knows that all too well. They struggle too. But being a couple isn't about thriving during the honeymoon phase. It's about loving and supporting each other through hard times. If it had stopped at that, everything would be fine.

But it didn't. It wasn't a few bad days and a few arguments, followed by communication and compromises, followed by forgiveness and moving on. It was bad. Really bad. Those bad moods of Person B's kept becoming more and more frequent, and increasingly worse. They got mean, their words hit like punches. They would yell so much over things like the house being messy or the coffee being cold or all the things that Person A is convinced they should have thought of before. Because if they had, then Person B wouldn't be upset and this wouldn't have been happening.

Because they know their lover. Person B isn't like that normally. They're not.

They just want Person A to do better, so that the relationship can function again. That's fine. Person A can do that. After all, Person B is just so perfect, they deserve a lover that can do better than what Person A is doing right now.

And person A really tried. They did everything they could think of to please Person B. Despite the situation going from bad to worse. Despite the words of Person B hurting like punches, by that point, and their punches hurting even more, somehow. Person A really tried. Because one day, they'd manage to apply all the corrections Person B gave them, and they'd become somebody worthy of who Person B used to be. And everything will go back to normal, Person A is sure of it.

Because they know their lover. Person B isn't like that normally. They're not. Right?

Because if they were, they wouldn't have been so sweet and charming at the beginning. They changed because of something Person A did, so if they correct they'll mistake, everything will work out.

Right?

But maybe Person B is like that. Maybe they are mean. Rude. Aggressive. Violent. Abusive. Maybe that's what they always were. But how could Person A not have seen it?

Because they don't show it. Because abusers never showed it. Think about it, if you met a person that bragged about how terrible they are, you wouldn't go out with them, would you? Person A wouldn't either. So how did they end up here?

Person B lied. They always do. This brand of people act like that. They lie, and they pretend to be good, and they switch up only after you get attached because then, they live in the certainty of their victim never leaving, because they need them now. They need their painful words to turn sweet again. They long for it and they'll stay until it happens, because they need it.

There's lots of recorded victims of abuse. There's not enough recorded abusers. How it that possible? Because those motherfuckers know where to hide. How to hide. They know how to manipulate. They know how to lure you into a false sence of security. They know how to make you attached, make you stay. And they know how to put on a charming face and do it all over again. They do it all the time.

It's not your fault for falling for it. It's not person A's fault for falling for it either. It's no one's fault that they fell for it, how could it be? It's one person looking for love against whichever person B, that lies like breathing. It's not easy to see it, that's why nobody does.

If it's your fault for falling for it, if it's your fault for not knowing how to detach, then is it everyone else's fault too? Is every Person A to blame for meeting Person B? Doesn't that sound off?

Just because you miss who a person used to be, that doesn't mean you like or want who they are now.

response to this ask

"Look, I get it. I see what yer tryin' ta do here, and I ain't gonna try and tell ya that this type a' relationship is... good, or that it's okay ta treat people like that. I know it ain't. I know that what we have, me an' Val, it ain't... normal or healthy or any a' the stuff Charlie likes ta preach about, but it ain't all bad, I swear!

"The thing is... I know his game. I know that's all it is ta him, a game. But... it feels so good when I'm winnin'. When he leads me down that path an' makes me feel like I matta' ta him, like it ain't a game at all. And I... play along, ya know? Cuz I wanna hear him say it. I wanna feel it. He can pretend he loves me, and I can pretend I believe him.

"What I'm sayin' is, I know. I know Person B in yer little psych class experiment is bad, I know what Val does ain't right. But lemme put it in your terms fa just one moment: what if Person A knows it? What if they know they're bein' manipulated, that they're gonna keep gettin' hurt, but they go back anyway? Don't that make me- them... well, there's gotta be somethin' wrong with 'em, ta stay with someone when ya know they're doin' ya so wrong. Ya gotta be a special brand a' fucked up ta stick around when yer fully aware he's gonna switch up on ya, make ya pay fa wantin' him so bad. Ain't that at least some kinda... flaw?"

[supernatural-reacts]

Season 8 episode 5

- Cas is in the recap we are once again 🕯manifesting🕯

- YES BENNY IM EXCITED

- oh murder ofc ofc

- oh yeah I forgot Dean tried to kill Linda

- Dean hiding Benny’s existence from Sam has 👀 interesting vibes I like it

- but also STOP FRICKING LYING TO EACH OTHER

- I’ve seen Benny referred to as Dean’s vampire side piece a lot so if I start saying that,,, sorry I guess 😂

- “not stalking, concerned” Sam says as he stalks Amelia

- “looking good” “up yours” DEANBENNY IS A VIBE I LOVE THIS

- CAS!!!

THIS THIS THIS ❤️

- “you two are killing me!” I love this

- Dean: “Cas! We’re gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.” (yes I’m using this again sue me) Me:

- “vampirates” “hm. Can’t believe nobody ever thought of that.” “What do you mean, it’s like the third thing you say.” “No it isnt.” AGSHGSJKLAJ

- Benny just started talking about a girl and I might be grasping at straws but I think the writers looked at Dean and Benny and were like “this is a little too gay we gotta do something”

- “we’re real. Benny, this is real.”

- this girl shouldn’t be alive so I’m guessing she’s a vampire

- “I’m not alone! Alright, I’m not alone!” the feelings from the way Dean talks about Benny are so interesting

- “all your friends are dead!” SAM

- I am living for Dean, Cas, and Benny interactions

- did Benny forget he brought Dean

- Benny: “why’d you do it Dean? Ressurect me?” Dean: *remembers Benny saving Cas* Me, yet again: WE👏DONT👏HAVE👏TIME👏TO👏UNPACK👏ALL👏OF👏THAT

- this Sam meeting Benny scene is reallyyyy something

- I liked that episode