#he's real now... his bday is on grey day!

[pankoshrimp]

[lixenn]

BUSTING INTO UR ASKBOX WHILE READING THRU DAVE'S PROFILE!! Lix!! Dave and Yui's bdays are one day apart sjvfhsvfsvf this coincidence is so funny 🤣🤣

Since he likes sunsets, I wonder if he likes the sea too? The sunsets are very beautiful when viewing it from the beach (asked by someone who just got back from a trip to the beach)

Because he has a lot of piercings, I wonder if he's interested in getting tattoo too?

Not a question, but reading this --- Dave simply turned up at Varia’s front door with a cheerful: “Heard you were hiring?” --- made me laugh, because I remember the snippet that you wrote about how Dan met Dave and it still makes me laugh a lot 😆😆 (PLUS !!! “I can use this guy to avoid talking to people!” DAN IS SO REAL FOR THIS!!! HE'S SO BASED UR HONOR!!)

Is there any latest hot boiling tea that Davey-boy can share with us in the class right now?

Mammon knows a lot about people huh. I wonder what Dave's relationship with Mammon is like? How does Dave interact with Mammon, knowing (if he knows) that Mammon knows background info that he hides?

Would he dye his hair as rainbow-colored for Pride Month---

EIN! BELOVED! Thank you for visiting my humble abode, always lovely to have you here 💕✨

I have managed to get this ready for Dave's birthday!

Happy birthday Davey-boy! Hope you and everyone else likes some more Dave info hehehehe

Sunset and sea

As someone whose life has been grey and dull for a long time, Dave adors colours in all shape or form, so yes he loves the sea, loves how it can glitter and reflect. The different shades of blue also appeal to him. Just colours my friend. It's a small joy for him but a joy nonetheless.

Tattoos

Is Dave interested in tattoos? Yes. Does he trust anyone enough to actually give him one? Not really. Dave has done most of his piercings by himself (which Davey-boy... no...) but tattooing himself is certainly more difficult then simply stabbing a sanitised needle through his ear. He loves the idea of body art though and he keeps drawing tattoo ideas on his paperwork (much to Chief's chargin).

Also since we are at the topic of tattoos, I'm just going to sneakily mention this for the people who aren't in the discord or haven't read my Chief/Squalo sparring snippet:

Chief has tattoos! And he actually has a lot of ink. All of it is nature based and all of it is hidden under his clothing, so at the moment in the Varia only Luss (who is his doctor) and Mammon (because Mammon knows all) know about the tats. Dave is in for a surprise when he finds out hehe. (Dave already thinks that Chief is super cool, but now he has tattoos??? No fair~ He will need to increase his mischief factor by one hundred to balance it out.)

Dan the introvert

Dan knows what's up lol. While Dani-boy can talk to people when necessary he tries to avoid it as much as possible because it sucks his energy like nothing else and he already doesn't have much energy to begin with. Also Dan might be quite observant but he sometimes doesn't get subtext and takes sometimes a bit to literal, which can lead to much frustration and hilarity. So he prefers leaving the people thing to Dave who's a social butterfly and thrives under attention.

Mammon and Dave

Dave doesn't like Mammon, at all. Honestly, it's more fear than dislike that's bothering him, because Dave knows how much power information can hold, it's one of his specialites after all. So while Dave is aware that Mammon won't reveal anything about his past unless someone goes looking for it and is willing to pay an obscene amount of money for the info, he still treats Mammon with a healthy dose of respect. He actually tries his best to avoid dealing with him and Mammon is one of the few people he tries not to prank directly.

Rainbow hair

Dave would definitely dye his hair rainbow coloured for pride month. He would burst into Luss' room on the first of June (probably when the clock rings midnight lol) and demand that his hair needs to be taken care of now.

The Tea

Now, the tea is the reason why answering this took so long, because dear Ein, once again, I have written a snippet! Rejoice! (Thanks so much to @unwrathful @childe-of-saulot for helping me brainstorm and also thanks to my dear buddy @myrmyrtheorca for solving my naming problems 🫡💕✨)

---

Dave kicks Vlasta's door open with cheerful aplomb. "Have you heard?!"

His friend doesn’t even have the decency to look up from cleaning their knives at his fabulous entrance. "You violating my privacy? Sure did."

"Like you even know the definition of that word. You were literally fucking someone in bright daylight yesterday."

"It's the principle of the matter, D." They finally put away their collection of all things sharp and pointy just to grace him with a simple blink. “Now, what’s the tea and where the hell are the snacks?”

A grin creeps on his face as he presents the chocolate covered strawberries he stole from the kitchen like they are a tribute to the gods. “I came prepared.”

The offering is scrutinized for a moment before Vlasta nods in acceptance. “You pass, but you are on thin ice.”

Dave fully skips into their domain and is greeted with the full force of the tantalizing scent of plum and cherry hiding the metallic taint of blood that has etched itself into the foundation of the walls ever since Vlasta claimed this room as their own. He places the strawberries on the nightstand next to the candles and bones, then bounces onto the four-poster bed that wouldn’t have been out of place in a film set of a dark historical drama which features witches, blood sacrifices and ritual sex. The dark red satin sheets flow smooth and cool over his skin, a stark contrast from the humid summer heat.

Dave hums lazily. “You always had great taste in decor. Less so with your partners though.”

His words are met with a pointed kick to the ribs. “Fucking- OW! What was that for?” He quickly scoots out of kicking range, rubbing the sore spot on his side. “This is abuse! Mistreatment! Bullying!”

“Talk shit, get shot,” Vlasta smirks, plucking a strawberry from the container. “Count yourself lucky that I put my knives away or this could have ended in a bloodbath.”

“But you like bloodbaths!”

“Not on my good bedsheets, idiot.” Vlasta plops the fruit into their mouth and moans in a way that would turn a porn star green with envy. “Now spill the tea before the day’s over. Chop chop.”

Dave brightens. “Okay, so I was staking out make out closet, as one does.” Vlasta nods along like this is a reasonable way to spend one’s free time. There’s a reason why they are best friends. “And guess who walked out of there?

Vlasta indulges his theatrics. “Who?”

“Sofia!”

“Sofia Nardi?” His friend tilts their head like a curious bird. “Douchbag’s girlfriend Sofia? That Sofia?“

“Yup! And she wasn’t alone.” Dave waggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Ollie followed soon after.”

Vlasta perks up, finally gifting him the entire weight of their attention and he basks in it. Yes, he always has the best gossip, thank you very much.

Another strawberry disappears between black tainted lips. “Sofia and ol’ Ollie. They fucked?“

“Oh, totally.”

“Huh,” a slow blink, followed by a sadistic smile, “good for her. Does the Douchebag know?“

“Nope,” Dave answers, popping the p for maximum obnoxious effect. “Completely in the dark”

The smile turns into a full-blown smirk. “Excellent.”

Dave‘s expression mimics the grin on his best friend’s face, vindictiveness filling him by proxy.  Sofia’s (ex?) boyfriend Alberico Ordelaffi commonly known as the Douchebag is what one could call a traditionalist. In short: he’s strictly religious, massively sexist and completely full of himself. The only time he stops sucking his own cock is when he’s bragging about his prestigious lineage or insulting your lack thereof. Vlasta with all their… Vlastaness is naturally offending Douchebag’s delicate sensibilities which results in a largely one-sided rivalry that involves a lot of holy water and failed exorcisms. So, any misfortune falling upon him needs to be fully savoured and sampled.

Speaking of savouring, Vlasta already decimated the strawberry offering during his retelling leaving nothing left for him which ... yeah, that tracks. But he still wanted a taste! His friend can be so stingy sometimes.

Well, there are other ways to be fed...

“Now,” Dave risks edging a tiny bit closer to them. “Since I delivered you both juicy strawberries and gossip, I deserve a reward, yes?”

Vlasta doesn’t even hesitate in shooting him down. “I’m not telling you what Chief and I discuss when we’re alone.”

“Oh c’mon! What more could you possibly want?”

The stare he is given runs shivers down his spine. Vlasta has a way of looking right into your soul, dissecting you with a simple gaze. People often fear them because of their appearance, their fondness of blood and flesh but Dave fears their ability to stand back and watch far more. They pick up the smallest of hints that let’s them solve humans like puzzles and the only reason why Dave ever let them close is because he can recognize his people, see the same cracks that plague him day in and day out. It doesn’t change the fact that he’d prefer not being perceived and now he gave them an opening.

“Well, my dear friend.” Their voice was raspy, a near seductive purr. “How about your name?”

Dave freezes. Nobody asks after his name. The scars are questioned more often than he could count. Same for his family and body count. But his name? Nobody bothers asking after names in the Varia. Not with how the organisation collects weirdos like the most fucked up circus. You might snoop behind somebody’s back, but you don’t talk about it in person. It just wasn’t done.

Leave it to Vlasta to not give a single fuck about etiquette and social norms.

Dave sighs. “I’d rather not.”

The predatory aura persists for one more second until his friend simply shrugs like they were asking after the weather rather than one of his close kept secrets. “Shame. Names hold a lot of power. But no name, no deal, Davey-boy. Them’s the rules.”

The mood brightens considerably at the nickname. Teasing and banter, he can do. Way better than digging up pieces of his past best left forgotten.

Time to turn the brattiness to the max.

“But I wanna knoooow.” Dave gives them his best rendition of a kicked puppy.  “How can you just hoard the Chief insider info? The inhumanity! The cruelty!” He adds crocodile tears for dramatic effect. “Share the goods, V. I need all the dets. Well actually, I need to study Chief under a microscope, but I will accept second hand knowledge for now.”

Unsurprisingly, Vlasta isn’t moved by his act in the slightest, in fact they don’t budge an inch. "Your obsession with our boss is fascinating. Have you considered fucking him to get it out of your system?”

He pouts: "I offered! Well, Luss and I offered but he refused."

"Skill issue."

"Oh fuck off, how often did he reject you? Five times? Six?" He leans into Vlasta’s personal space, leering and teasingly poking their cheek. “Losing your touch V?”

“You’re about to lose a finger if you don’t remove it from my person, dickhead.” Their eyes gleam red and Dave immediately backs off.

Fuck. Pushed too much.

Touch and Vlasta can be ... tricky at times. Initiating contact always involves some risk. It's like a gamble where the odds change at a whim and clearly Dave lost this time around.

He scrambles off the bed, holding his hands up in surrender. He tries for a smile but it came out as an awkward grimace instead. "Sorry 'bout that."

The red in their eyes dims but doesn't disappear. Vlasta nods, accepting the apology but not stating forgiveness.

Yeah, this calls for a strategic retreat.

He tiptoes closer and closer to the door. "I'll see you around?" The confidence leaves him at the last minute turning his statement into a question.

Vlasta licks off the chocolate on one of their fingers, steadily holding eye contact because they are a fucking weirdo. "Until next time."

Oh, thank god. Friendship saved.

---

Ngl not totally satisfied with the ending but it will do >.< this got so long and surprisingly deep but I like how it protrays Dave's and Vlasta's realtionship.

[afluffypanda]

Quick upload of a fic I did for my man's bday 🧍🏾‍♀️

It was just a normal day in contell, just as normal as the one before it, and the other one that came before the one that came before it. The point is, it was as normal as can be.. or was it? Yeah sure to some outsiders with would seem so but not to Luna, today was Spica's birthday. Though, the poor girl was struggling to find a gift for the guy, just sitting down and doing nothing was not an option

"Its gotta be something great, something special but also useful to him.." She thought as she paced the committee room.

Suddenly the door opened, the clearly recognizable tall, formal, blonde haired, green eyed man walked in. Luna froze, though she was confident and independent in front of others, this man, this infuriating, annoying but unnecessarily hot idiot made her feel like a dummie to everything. Luna hated how these feelings, thoughts and emotions clouded her head as soon as she saw him.

Transporting back to real time, she was frozen in front of him. "Luna..? What are you doing here?" The way her name rolled off his tongue mad her feel something deep. "I.. uh.. I was just.. relaxing! Yeah relaxing!-"

He raised an eyebrow but didn't question further. He passed by her, his scent briefly filling her nose as he sat down.

That's it! Luna figured out what she should gift him, in fact numerous ideas flooded her mind but the first gift would be.. "Spica. You're not gonna fill out those papers today." The man watched her in confusion and astonishment.

"I beg your pardon?" Luna's face had a bright smile, "We're going out! Out to just have some fun!"

She didn't know why the idea made her so giddy, spending an entire day with Spica. He was just a colleague. A friend at the most, she was happy to be with him. "But.." He started off but gave up, "Sure.. let's go out."

Luna cheered and grabbed him out of the navy blue chair and stated, "We have to change into relaxing clothes first. This uniform won't do. You and I will go change and meet up at the front of the school." Maybe she imagined it but she saw him chuckle in amusement. "Alright."

And so, the two separated ways.

Luna sped up to her room and found some spunky, cute village wear. Libra and Sag (Sagittarius) took her on a shopping trip to town, being the good friends they were, so she had more than enough clothes to choose from.

She skipped down the steps, waving to a few of the students. It was good that today was a slow one, mostly during school time, the students of Contell Academy of Magic (the full name is what Spica used any time he could) or CAM, would flood around her asking for everything and anything about her past life and other details.

Once Luna reached the front of the school, she found Spica patiently waiting on her. The man's widened, to her this was quite an odd expression since he wasn't surprised often. "You look... nice.." Luna felt that he wanted to say something else but didn't push it, "Thanks!" Of course, Spica was wearing that signature black and grey suit of his, still nevertheless, he looked handsome.

"Sorry if I took long but let's not waste anymore time and go!" Luna held out her hand for him to hold it by instinct, then instantly pulled it back after realizing what she has done. Now, she couldn't face Spica after that. Suddenly the feeling of someone interlocking their hand into hers made her slightly jump, "No worries. I don't mind holding your hand." He said with a genuine smile, her face was red enough to be deemed a tomato. "Oh- Okay..!" She responded in a shaky voice.

They both went out into the bustling town, holding each other's hands. Spica's hand felt oddly nice. No, not oddly, satisfyingly nice. Luna was happy, giddy and excited all at the same time, though she had a completely neutral expression on her face. "So... where shall we go now on this spontaneous adventure of yours, Luna?" He turned to her as he spoke. "Well.. wherever you wanna go!" Luna looked at him as he thought about the statement. "How about.. the movies..?" He asked, seemly not sure of his own answer. "Yes! I wonder if any new ones came out..Oh well! To the movies!"  She grabbed his arm, more confidently now, and they both ran off to the movies.

After buying tickets (and Luna's begging) the two settled for a romance movie that just came out. As they sat down, Spica announced, "I've never seen a romance movie.. but judging from how eager you were to watch this, I suppose they're good?" She nodded in excitement, "Yup! They can be so cute, bittersweet, horrific, tragic but enjoyable all at the same time!" Spica gave her a confused look but didn't argue.

During the movie, the two, unknowingly, got cozy with each other, Luna either held on to his arm or rested her head on his shoulder. Spica didn't seem to mind at all. At the end of the movie, she chatted on and on about how cute it was and He commented on how for the first time watching one, it was quite enjoyable.

All through out the day, the two went around shops, parks and centers buying food, clothes, souvenirs and more. In the end, it was quite the productive day.

When they arrived back to the committee room, Spica was surprised with the millions of confetti and balloons everywhere with all of the guide sorcerers and all five of Luna's friends yelling "Happy Birthday Spica!!" at him. He looked shocked for a moment then exploded with laughter. 

Almost everyone in the room looked like they'd seen a ghost, not once has anyone ever seen Spica laugh that much before, not even Alpheratz. Though, the shock didn't last long, everyone laughed along with him, soon, he sobered up, "Now just how long did it take you to plan all of this?" Pisces piped up, "Long enough, Luna sent a message to us around the time you left. I still don't understand why it took her the very day to decide what to do for your birthday!" Luna eyed Pisces for giving her plan away which was only greeted with a sly smile, "I just felt like doing something nice.. that's all!" She said in defiance. Spica gave a small smile at her, "Regardless, I still appreciate it." She could only smile and turn away for her face was getting red again.

Soon, after singing the birthday song and cutting cake, it was present time. Everyone got him a gift, even Alpheratz, maybe the two were just frienemies with all that arguing they do. Luna decided to give her gifts last.

"So.. I know this might sound weird but us going out and relaxing and having fun was one of your gifts.." Everyone was stunned a bit but then they laughed, with Alpheratz speaking up, "Honestly that was genius idea, the guy never takes a break!" That got a few more giggles and chuckles with Spica only eyeing him in amusement.

"Thank you Luna, it really did feel nice to get break. I was quite confused when you suggested to go out but it makes sense now." Luna only nodded before presenting her second gift, a brooch the color of his eyes with a gold finish to it. Spica looked at the gift in awe. "Please don't tell me you spent all your money on this just for me.. and when did you get it..?" Luna gave a quick reply "Today, but while you were distracted with buying us lunch. Also, I saved for it since last year, don't worry, there was even a sale too!" Satisfied with the answer, he thanked her with gratitude for the gift.

The last gift, Luna placed the box directly in his hand, but when Spica opened it, it was empty. "Is this a prank gift? Very funny, Luna." She shook her head as she laughed, "No Spica, the gift can't go into the box but I'll give it to you right now.." She grabbed a stool from what seemed like nowhere, stood on it and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. His eyes widened and his face went red as he stared at her. Everyone had now been stunned yet again.

"Luna... wha.. I.." Spica didn't seem like he could form words so she went on to explain. "I gave you that because I felt like.. its not suppose to be romantic, just as a friendship kiss.." Her explanation sucked because pretty much everyone but Spica knew that she liked him but didn't wanna admit it.

"Oh.. uh.. well... thank.. you." He seemed to calm down a bit but his face was still red, Luna herself was red too. "That's right Luna, shoot your shot!!" Gemini yelled out, cheering. Her other friends joined in as she buried her face in her hands. Spica could only smile wearily as he was still quite shocked. The rest of the party went on pretty well.

At the end, everyone wished Spica 'Happy Birthday' as they left. It was only Luna and him, now. "Hey.. thanks again for the party.. that was probably the most fun I've had in a while." He said as he turned to her with a small smile, "Also I think I know what I can give back to you as a thank you gift." Luna looked at him in a confused manner, thank you gift? He was in the committee room the whole time, when did he sneak out and get a gift?? He stepped forward, grabbed her face gently, leaned down and gave her a kiss on the lips.

Luna froze. That was her first kiss he was taking but she didn't mind one bit. Her face had turned a few darker shades of red, her eyes were wide as he pulled away. "Though, from my kiss, you could tell there was no friendship tagged to it." He said as he gazed at her bewildered face lovingly. Luna was stuttering, getting redder and overall, very flustered. He could only chuckle at her cute behavior, "Goodnight Luna." Spica gave her head a pat and walked off to his room, she stood in the hallway, completely still before squealing and skipping away to her own room.

It seems like this was the best birthday ever, for both of them.

[altairring]

that character bingo, in celebration of Hideyoshi's bday, HIDEYOSHI! IkeSen & SLBP? Or just IkeSen, whichever you prefer~

bonus: preferred IkePri boy-o

HEEEY KAEEEEE~

This will be LONG because I'm gonna post both the bingo and my explanations about them since I have So Many Thoughts atm.

Oh, hah, since we’re here can I request Nobuyuki (SLBP), Saizo, and Clavis from you? 👀✨

So here’s my bingo:

For my ikepri boyos and I cant choose one...sadly. So, I did three!

Here goes my ramblings:

Hideyoshi Toyotomi (SLBP) 🌻

He’s my first route in SLBP and I honestly don’t remember anything from it. All I know is that he used to be my best boi and if he has a route in story events I always do it (which is, unfortunately—very rare). I do know he will always have a place in my heart.

His design is so…plain. But I think everyone is in SLBP. Well, at least his armor is decent unlike whatever the fuck Inuchiyo wears skskdjwjcjs

Hideyoshi Toyotomi (IkeSen) 🌻

To be honest, all the “you’re my little sister” schtick in his route is…*punches him* but gosh once you guys are together and that trope has already passed then he’s perfect. Ugh, maybe I should’ve shaded the squeak the squeak square. The feeling of getting spoiled is foreign for me but I melt whenever he shows affection. I will squish him.

Also he’s very handsome. I love his outfit so much. The perfect blend of green and red. So beautiful. And sunflower as a part of his motif too? Call me the basic bitch idc I really like sunflowers lmaoo 🌻.

*inhales deeply*

Now, for my ikepri boyos…I have three favorites. I can’t choose between the three of them so I did all of them.

Rio Ortiz 🐶

Okay…I might be lying when I said I can’t choose between the three—because I will choose Rio in a heartbeat.

Maybe I just have a thing for characters that appears first in-game because I am that easy to get attached.

Realistically, I want him to be my partner in life. As a demiromantic, he fits my criteria lmao (no wonder I love the friends-to-lovers trope so much). Sure, he has flaws like him being pushy or overwhelming buuuut the thing is—I can tolerate it. Or rather I know he would stop once he knows my boundaries.

Anyway, he’s the love of my life. Exactly my type. I daydream about him so much. Head empty, only him. If he was real, I would marry him without hesitation. I want whatever kind of love he can offer to Emma/me.

He may be the love of my life but, goodness, the only thing that saved him from the typical blonde with blue eyes character is his ear cuff—which I desperately want to wear but my earlobes hurt. Seriously, how can he wear that every single day.

he is hot in his white shirt tho homleefuck

Clavis Lelouch 🐆

From his name to his appearance he is so fucking handsome.

Peak Gender Envy. Not gonna lie, I wasn't fond of him at first but my god he is so my fucking type. Clavis may be a red flag but I'm willing to Risk It. He's actually pretty nice right after you get with him, though.

I have two moods and it's me being soff or me wanting to slam to a wall so hard it cracks. He makes me pull my hair because he is that lovely bastard. Clavis has many layers and I volunteer to unveil them all. Once you get to know more about him (especially his angst) you will inevitably fall for him. I will say more about him but he literally makes me speechless. Clavis Lelouch is that amazing. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone dislike him especially after reading his route. However, like I said, he’s a red flag if placed in real life, so pretty privilege is applied to him (I love him so much tho LMAO).

Gilbert von Obsidian 🐯🖤

Eye as red as the flag that he represents. I have never once liked villains. Only morally grey characters. But for him I will flip my whole world for him.

Not much can be said from him other than the fact he caught me hook, line, and sinker. I am so invested with him no matter how manipulative he gets (he’s like an open-book Nobuyuki). Since he bullies Emma, I will bully him back :>. Equivalent exchange, methinks.

Regardless, I really like him and occupies my brain like 50% of the time since I got to know more about him lmao. I got so obsessed with him that I’m willing to drop money (responsibly) just to get content about Gilbert.

Lastly, ikepri en devs was so right to call him The Cruel Beauty. I really do find him beautiful and scary. I find it annoying that he knows he is pretty (joking).

Lastly, ikepri en devs was so right to call him The Cruel Beauty. I really do find him beautiful and scary. I find it annoying that he knows he is pretty (joking).

[slytherinslut0]

mattheo riddle | focus.

PAIRING: Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: you thought you were just going to have a peaceful night with your boyfriend, cuddling while watching the newest episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. you thought.

WORD COUNT: 4.1k. (i’m sorry?)

TAGS: 18+, SMUT MDNI, praise kink, some teasing, matty being an absolute dawg per usual, unable to keep those delicious hands to himself, maybe like the tiniest bit of degradation, fingering, multiple orgasm, PIV, doggy/prone-bone, um yeah the usual filth i provide.

DEDICATION: this was a little bday gift for my lovely friend @pizzaapeteer🤍 hope u had the best day bbygirl ilysm!

"Matt," you exhaled your boyfriends name, leisurely rubbing your tired eyes. "...any minute now, please."

A muffled yawn from inside the bathroom was the only outward sign of his acknowledgment before he appeared in the doorframe--like a vision materializing from a dream. Your groggy eyes clung to his shadow, watching as he lazily sauntered toward you--looking cozy, yet as exhausted as ever.

It’d been a busy day for you both, between his quidditch tournament finally drawing to a close and your ruthless potions exam--you’d found yourselves lacking routine, your schedules treacherously out of sync--because not only had you not seen each other since this morning, the way the day had started was frantic enough to send your mood into sours so intense it’d make a fucking lemon grimace.

There was no cuddles, no intimate shower time, and certainly no morning sex. The only bout of intimacy Mattheo was able to steal from you was a quick peck on the cheek before you scurried out the door, desperate to cram in as much studying as you could.

It was safe to say that by this point, the two of you were fucking spent, slightly annoyed, and most certainly, drained. And all you’d been thinking about--for the entirety of your day, was getting to snuggle, catch the latest episode of your favourite muggle/guilty-pleasure show, preceded by dozing off embraced within your boyfriend’s loving arms.

"Look, I love you and all, but can't we watch something else?" He was so utterly unenthused you'd think you were forcing him to watch paint dry, his expressions a mirror to his tone as he combed a hand through his hair. "Something that maybe won't give me a bloody headache."

Messy chocolate curls framing brooding brown eyes, grey sweatpants and a black hoodie was all that it took to make you rethink your plans for the evening. It was clear to you, almost immediately, that Mattheo wasn’t as deterred by the craziness of the day as you were. You could see that twinkle in his eye, that hunger barred behind cheeky grins and teasing words.

You rolled your eyes, biting your lip in attempt to quell your smirk. "Oh, come on, Mattheo," you teased, shifting on the comforter to make space for him beside you. "You know deep down you love the drama. That's practically your middle name."

"If I'm being completely honest," your boyfriend scoffed, settling into bed beside you. "I'd probably enjoy it more if we turned the volume off."

Your face flushed with warmth as Mattheo immediately drew you into him, one arm slipping under your head while the other coasted a light path up your thigh. A pair of lips pressed to your neck, wet and soft against your aching skin, igniting bliss to burn a scorching heat in your belly. Against your better judgement and instigated by a force well beyond your control, you sighed--exhausted lids fluttering shut as you revelled in the warmth his presence evoked within you.

It right was then, that you knew--as instinctual as breathing--that simply watching your show and going to bed wasn’t going to be enough for your boyfriend. Of course you wanted him--wanted him just as bad as he wanted you--but your exhaustion was prevailing, and therefore, so was your brattiness.

He was going to have to be patient. He was going to have to work for it.

So with a sharp inhale, and in an honest attempt to avoid the volcano of desire before it erupted irrevocably, you turned your back to him--seeking refuge from the imminent intoxication that came along with your boyfriend's perfect lips.

"Wow, Matty," you teased, "and here I was actually considering letting you be the little spoon for once..." you fixed your sight on the TV, fighting to ignore his touch on your hip. "Guess you'll just have to be the big spoon all night."

Mattheo's chuckle rumbled against your back as he tightened his embrace, his warmth enveloping you completely. His lips brushed against your ear, and you could practically hear the exhaustion in his tone, his voice as rough as gravel.

"That's not the punishment you thought it'd be, princess," he murmured, the cheeky grin on his lips practically audible, each syllable tickling the back of your neck as he spoke. "This just gives me something far more interesting to focus on than that dumb show of yours."

You couldn't stop yourself from tsking him, a giggle escaping your lips as you gently pulled his wandering fingers away from your backside, intertwining them with your own. This was one of the many things you adored about him—the way he couldn't seem to keep his hands off you whenever you were together.

"Nuh-uh, Mattheo Riddle--your focus is on the show," your attempt to scold him was warring with the need to keep your voice steady, playfully tilting your head back slightly to meet his gaze. "I know you're just dying to find out who said what behind whose back, aren't you?”

Mattheo huffed, an exhale of pure amusement. A certain intoxicating devilism that you knew all-too-damn-well twinkled in his honeyed irises as he caught your gaze, scorching heat over your skin.

"I'm dying for something, undoubtedly," his arm beneath your head curled inward, large palm finding a handful of your breast and kneading it. Before you could react, his lips graced your earlobe, and he drew it into his mouth, nibbling it, forcing an eminent whimper to flee your throat. "And it's not that."

Involuntarily, you groaned--a noise of pure restraint--your other hand moving up to tug his fervent fingers away from your chest. It took every ounce of your willpower to hold back a sigh of desperation as you mentally reminded yourself of your prior mantra.

Make him be patient. Make him work for it.

"Matty, quit being a brat," you muttered, playful scolding tracing your tone. You honestly couldn't believe you'd just said that. "We’ve both had such a long day…let’s just watch this and goto sleep, yeah?"

His response was a low, rumbling murmur, his voice thick with desire as he turned his head toward the television, his fingers still for the moment.

"You're so right, baby," he conceded, his breath warm against your neck. "I'm just watching the show. I don't even know what you're--"

"Mattheo," you interjected, a hint of warning in your tone, and he let out an exaggerated huff, falling silent. After a moment, you giggled at him. "Salazar help you."

Even without seeing his face, you could practically hear the cheeky grin on his perfect lips spreading from ear to goddamn ear. You were certain he was seeing right through you.

"Alright, alright, I'll behave," he said, though his voice betrayed him. There wasn't one ounce of sincerity in those devastatingly deep cords. "Would you just like, stop squirming, though? It's distracting."

You rolled your eyes. Gods, how you wanted to smack him while simultaneously kissing his perfect, annoying face. "Matt, I literally haven't moved."

Mattheo shrugged, his breathy chuckle washing over your neck, his eyes now fixed on the TV. As the two of you settled into stillness, you exhaled--his playful antics never failed to humour you, a reminder of the delightful chaos that came with dating this messy, yet undeniably wonderful boy. Sometimes, it truly felt like living in your own reality TV show, though you wouldn't have it any other way.

Nestled in his embrace, a sense of tranquility washed over you as you immersed yourself in the drama that this weeks episode had to offer. However, as the clock ticked on and the show progressed, you could feel Mattheo's restlessness grow stronger behind you.

His movements were subtle at first--a shift here, a slight adjustment there, but soon enough, his hands began to wander after breaking free from your hold, tracing delicate patterns along your skin. Despite your efforts to remain focused on the show, the sensation of his touch was relentless, subtle ministrations laced with clear intent that had you distracted from the TV without much effort.

"Mattheo," you whispered, trying to sound stern but failing as a soft sigh escaped your lips.

"Shh, princess," he cooed, voice so sweet it was sugar incarnate. "We're watching the show, aren't we?"

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his teasing, but before you could protest further, his hand moved to roam along the curve of your waist, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. Your breath caught in your throat, his touch igniting a familiar spark between you, threatening to engulf you both in a different kind of drama altogether--one that had absolutely nothing to do with the show on the television.

And you longed to utter something, anything--longed to form some semblance of coherent speech--but words would simply elude you as Mattheo's hand continued its eager exploration, mapping every inch of your curves as it started trailing its way from your hip down your thigh and back up, softly rolling his hips against your backside.

Somehow, throughout all this, you kept your eyes focused on the screen in front of you--hardly even daring to blink--though your mind was monopolized by the feeling of his calloused palm catching on the fabric of your leggings, the way his fingernails dug into your flesh as he gripped your hip, gripped your thigh, gripped your waist--anywhere his hungry hand could find purchase.

"I want you," his voice was a breath on your neck, his grip bruising your hip as he bucked into you. "So fucking bad."

You whined from lust, your vision fogged by need. His words sent heat straight to your cunt. "Matt..."

"I know, baby," his tongue drew a wet line up the side of your neck toward your ear, and he whispered into it. "Watch the show. Just let me take care of you.”

A lump formed in your throat, your mind so clouded with desire that forming a coherent response seemed impossible, your teeth clawing at your bottom lip to prevent any sounds from slipping out as his other hand moved to grope your chest, kneading your breast within his palm.

Your entire body was in flame, and the truth hung heavy in the air--of course, you wanted him just as desperately as he wanted you, and were more than willing to abandon the show and lose yourself in his touch--but it was frustrating, maddening even, how effortlessly he could disarm you, even while exhausted.

A mere whisper, a few tender touches, and you were putty in his hands, melting under his gaze. So much for making him work for it.

Mattheo hummed and bit the tender flesh between your neck and shoulder, sucking an angry, puckering red mark into it while he continued to grind against your ass, his throbbing desire jabbing you, seeking friction.

"Keep those eyes on the screen, baby." Gods, that bastard. That beautiful fucking bastard. Impossible to resist, completely useless to attempt to ignore. "Forget that I'm even here, yeah?"

A whimper escaped your lips, a tacit admission of how adeptly Mattheo had unraveled you, his touch igniting a starving fervour that coiled tight within you. He possessed an uncanny ability to unravel your defenses, leaving you malleable and pliant under his fingertips, consumed by an overwhelming need that pulsed with every beat of your heart.

"That's..." the words died on your tongue as he kissed your neck again--one hand moving to slip underneath your shirt and the other bruising your hip with his grip, pulling you closer against him. "...impossible."

"Oh, is it?" a pleased huff escaped him, his curls tickling the sensitive skin below your ear as he buried his face against it, teeth grazing your pulse. "Are you saying you can't multitask, baby? You want me to stop-"

"No," you cried out without hesitation as he finally glided up your stomach and slipped under your bra, thumb brushing against your nipple. "I...I can do both."

"Mhm, yeah you can," he purred, five slender digits slipping down to caress between your thighs, grazing over your mound and resting there for a moment, feeling your heat through your leggings. "You can do both because you're my good fucking girl, aren't you?"

His tone was intoxicating, the teasing and gentle praise melding together, creating a concoction brewed with the sole purpose of making your fucking head spin. Each word he uttered seemed to fan the flames of desire within you. Your teeth dug into your lower lip, wanting to plug as many noises as possible, his mouth moving from below your ear and slithering up to the line of your jaw.

Gathering yourself with a sharp inhale, you nodded. "Yes, Matty, I am..."

One hand shifted to your other breast and he groaned against your cheek, flooding your flesh with warmth as his fingers kneaded it, thumb twirling over the sensitive bud, erection grinding against you with another harsh snap of his hips.

"You are what, baby..." he muttered, burying his face back into the crook of your neck, his thick hair soft on your skin. "Wanna' hear you say it."

Another whimper escaped you, loud and shameless as his hand between your thighs shifted slightly, pressing against your clit for a moment before releasing pressure. You knew what he was after. You knew he wasn't going to give you what you wanted until he got it.

"I'm..." you choked on your breath, forcing the rest of the words past your teeth. "I'm your good girl, Matty."

Your arousal surged to dizzying heights, eclipsing any awareness of the television's presence in the room. Your focus had been hijacked, seized by the insatiable force of the hungry heathen at your back.

"Yeah, that's right, baby," Mattheos fingers sprung to action again, dragging the pads of his pointer and middle tantalizingly slow along your slit, teasing you through your leggings, your back arching instinctively as you fought the urge to grind against his touch. "Say it again for me."

You growled in frustration, feeling the heat blaze over your skin as his breath ghosted over your neck. Inhaling sharply, you fought to gather whatever shreds of sanity remained within you.

"Your good fucking girl, Matty," you declared, the words dripping with equal parts hunger and desperation. "All yours. Only yours."

Mattheo's response was a low, guttural growl of approval, his grip tightening possessively as he pulled you closer against him. His teeth dug into your shoulder as he finally sprung into action, hand on a hunt, tracking up to find the band of your leggings and slipping beneath it.

"That's fucking right," he murmured, his voice rough with desire. "All mine.”

Without wasting another second he slid two digits along your slit, pulling apart your slick folds and dragging the rough pads of his fingers over your clit--maddeningly slow. His grip on your breast tightened, breath leaving his lungs in shallow grunts as fervour engulfed him--engulfed you, engulfed the room and set it in flame.

"All yours." you whimpered, nodding.

"My good fucking girl, always so wet for me--so eager, hm?" Your moans filled the room as he took those two thick fingers and slid them into your cunt, the feel of your walls stretching around him igniting a quiet groan from his throat. "All day without this pussy and you really expect me to be able to keep my fucking hands off you? You're all I've been thinking about..."

Then, his thumb was on your clit while he curled his digits inside of you, stroking that sweet spot of raised flesh, your trembling hands flailing to find his arms, fingers digging into his skin, grounding you as though he was your lifeline, your anchor in the rough sea of pleasure he was providing.

"Gods, Matty." Your lids were squeezed tight, lips pinched together, rubbing your head against his as the heat from his mouth grew sweat on your neck. "You're all I--ah--all I think about too..."

Mattheo groaned again, working fast, building the pressure inside of you in record speed, warm heat rushing out over your skin. Your walls throbbed around him, heart a rabid animal barred beneath your sternum, and he added a third digit, pinching your nipple with his other hand--sending stars shooting behind your lids.

"My good girl isn't focusing on the show, is she?" His voice was the tantalizing depth of a black hole, sucking you into his orbit. You forced your eyes open. "You wanna' cum you better start focusing, princess."

Your brain was short circuiting--your mind fogged by a desire so intense it eclipsed any awareness of the television before you. Though your eyes registered its presence in the room, its glow seemed distant and hazy, as if it existed in separate realm from the searing heat encompassing you. You glimpsed it, focused on it, but your brain couldn't quite grasp its purpose as the only thing that held any significance in your consciousness was the sensation of your boyfriend's fingers, relentlessly driving you closer and closer to the edge of euphoria.

"That's better." He hummed, lips pecking at your cheek. "So good for me," his fingers scissored inside you, thumb increasing its pace on your clit. "So, so good."

Your ears rang, your sight blurring. You were so fucking close. "Matty, fuck—I'm gonna-"

Your boyfriend groaned. "Cum for me, baby."

Without needing any further instruction, the coil of pressure inside of you burst, exploding through your skin and enveloping you in a hot, convulsing warmth--you were crying out, cumming hard around him, your walls clamping down on his fingers, pulling him into your body as you pulsed and throbbed with pleasure. You thought you'd kept your eyes open, though you couldn't entirely be sure as your sight blanked, your consciousness consumed by a days worth of pent up sexual energy.

As Mattheo slowly withdrew his hand from beneath your leggings and distanced himself slightly, his voice carried a palpable strain. "Turn over, facing the TV."

Confusion flickered across your features as you blinked, glancing over your shoulder at him. "What?"

"Face the TV, on your stomach," he repeated, his voice firm yet tinged with a hint of desperation. "Please."

You watched as he palmed his throbbing, angry erection through the fabric of his grey sweats, and every single nerve ending in your body roared to life again. Still buzzing with the remnants of your climax, you quickly moved, shifting onto your stomach and facing the TV like he asked, unable to shake the boiling anticipation churning within your core.

You could feel Mattheo's dark eyes boring holes into your flesh, searing the seams of your skin as he shifted up onto his knees and moved between your legs behind you. Two strong hands gripped your thighs, and you tried to peer at him over your shoulder before he tsked you playfully.

"Focus on the screen, baby." There’s that sweet voice again. Sweet like honey oozing off his lips. “Be good.”

Your boyfriend was methodical, moving without urgency even though you knew that he was more than vibrating with it. Leaning down, he pressed soft kisses along the back of your thighs, slowly journeying upward, tracing a path to the curve of your ass cheek where he playfully sank his teeth into the plump flesh, eliciting a shudder that rippled through your body.

You suppressed a moan, the sound caught in your throat as his hands found purchase, kneading and groping the sensitive flesh between his digits.

“Matty..."

A low hum of satisfaction reverberated against your skin as he continued his exploration, his fingers deftly hooking around the band of your leggings and underwear. With a teasing tug, he began to pull them down your thighs, revealing the fresh expanse of your skin inch by tantalizing inch.

"Shh," he cooed. “Beautiful girl.”

The breath in your chest was a rapid circle, your entire body trembling with desperation. The moment your pants were off, you felt Mattheo's hands shifting to his own, a soft groan escaping him as he freed himself from the confining material. Without hesitation, he loomed over you, his presence dominating as he leaned forward to snake a hand around your throat, forcing your head in place, facing the TV as he aligned himself with your centre.

"Since you're having trouble focusing, I'll help you," his fingers wrapped around your jaw, his breath hot on your ear. "My good fuckin' girl."

A cyclone was roaring in your brain, tearing apart coherent trains of thought with primitive, physical clamoring. You felt him glide the head of his cock between your thighs, slicking himself in the wetness he'd caused, teasing you with false thrusts before he finally pushed in, spearing you open with one long, deep, slow thrust.

"Fuck." His breath was a hidden hiss through his teeth as you groaned, walls clenching around his cock. "Been waiting all day for this, baby. Fuckin’ tight little pussy."

His grip intensified on your jaw, his breath washing warm over your ear as he pulled out slowly and slammed back in. You couldn't think, couldn't speak--brain already cock-drunk, inebriated by lust.

"Matty," you gasped, gripping the wrist to the hand holding your head in place. "Fuck."

"Mhm, that's right," his voice was shattered, his tone strained against his throat. Each thrust was deeper, harder, faster than the last one, his curls tickling your cheek as he nuzzled his head in the crook of your neck--warm, wet lips pressing against your pulse. "So fucking tight. Fuck, I missed this--fuckin’ missed you."

You whimpered, struggling with every ounce of your existence to keep your eyes open, to remain focused on the glowing box infront of you--but you weren't even sure if Mattheo cared much about that anymore. Even without seeing his face you knew he was above you, looking down--teeth barred, jaw tensed and pupils blown wide with lust.

You knew he was just as gone as you were.

"Fuck," Mattheo snarled, fucking deeper, his hips smacking against your ass with every angry thrust, drowning out the sounds of the show. His hand moved under your belly, reaching for your clit and quickly connecting with it, causing you to writhe and spasm against his hold. "How's that feel, princess."

Little choked moans left you while your jaw hung slack, his cock pounding into you--then his fingers hit just the right spot, and the massive, asphyxiating pressure inside of you bordered on the very edge of exploding.

"Fuck," you replied, as though it was the only word that you seemed capable of reliably saying. "Fuck—good, Matty...so good..."

"That's right," he muttered. "You're so beautiful like this, so fucking perfect." He held you fast, pounding your cunt, catching groans in his throat. "You have no idea what you do to me."

You groaned. His words alone were enough to make your head spin. "Fuck—"

Delirium ascended into ecstasy, pleasure amplified by the stretch of his dick fucking you deep. His weight pinned you to the mattress, his hand holding your head firm as he growled in your ear with each harsh thrust, pent up sexual tension pouring off of him and threatening to drown you beneath it.

"Mhm. Little slut. Dumbed out on my cock." A low moan left you, the heat and friction and feverish thrusts sending your sanity to space. His fingers circled your clit faster, and you tweaked, eyes rolling. "Poor thing couldn't even focus on the screen if she tried, could she?"

"No—fuck, I can't." Bliss burned to burst, stars swarmed your sight entirely, and you knew it, knew it was happening, knew that you were about to break. "I—I wanna' cum for you, Matty...please..."

"Go ahead, princess." He cooed. "Cum for me."

You clamped down on his swollen length, your orgasm cleaving you in half as you shook with euphoria, heat and pleasure tearing all the way to your fingertips and toes. Mattheo keened, grip on your jaw turning almost painfully tight as he groaned and drove into you with a final thrust, cum spilling into you, hips snapping while he convulsed with the tremors of his falling climax.

The room was spinning, your bodies stuck with sweat, every breath of air too hot, too thick with sex. Your boyfriend's face was still nestled into your neck, and, exhausted too, you let your head be entirely supported by his hand, exhaling a long, trembling breath.

After a moment, Mattheo rolled off and slumped down onto the mattress beside you, grinning. “Good thing we can just rewind, hm?”

You grinned, letting out a breathy laugh as he pulled you into his chest. “You’re something else, Mr. Riddle.”

[lunaekalenda]

my bday is soon and I was wondering if u could probs write this for me🥺? a real cute fanfic of how levi would surprise his partner, like he pretends he forgets it and that makes y/n sad but he’s actually planning something big and bought lots of gifts, bringing thier close friends (Eren, Jean , mikasa etc) And in the evening he takes them to the cliff to see the view and he starts tellin y/n how much they love them (cuz they rlly wanna hear levi say that but he stutters and gets nervous while doin that) and just make them feel special 🥺 I’m all alone on my bday so writing this would absolutely make my day! (Plss add some fluff and cute scenes if u got any in mind!)

omg, first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY! i hope this can be my present for you <3 ! i hope you have a good day! hope you like it!! <3

thanks to @breathes24 and @queko13 for the help ! (and the moral help)

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❁ levi x reader

❁ modern au!

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You feel Levi's body against you when you wake up. His hot skin close to yours. You turn around, facing him. He opens an eye and looks at you.

"Good morning." he says.

"Good morning" you say back. You look at the clock on his night table. It's your birthday. You smile at him and he closes his eye again, trying to sleep again.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" you ask. He thinks, his hand caressing your waist. He keeps his eyes closed. After a couple minutes, he opens them again. He looks at you.

"Nope. Today is your turn to make breakfast" He says, burying his head again on the pillow.

He always wakes you up with a lot of kisses on your birthday. But today, he just turned his head to the side and kept sleeping. You pout and take your phone. Nothing. Not even a simple message. You sigh and get up, leaving Levi on the bed and walking downstairs to the kitchen.

It’s not like you want everybody to focus on you and only you. But it’s late in the morning, almost noon, and you know half of your friends are awake. You start to prepare breakfast for the two of you.

At the same time, Levi takes his phone. The group chat named “Serious work stuff” is burning, full of messages. Obviously, that name is just a cover for the real issue of the chat: your surprise birthday party.

“Can we congratulate y/n now?” asked Connie an hour ago. Jean answered him with a huge “no”. Mikasa and Eren talked about the hour of the party and Sasha about the aperitifs. Levi sighs and answers when Connie asks where the party is and at what hour does it start. He is planning to make the party as early as he can, because he wants to take you to a night date, with a picnic. He invited all of them right after eating, when he plans to make you go to the store. Once you’re out and he knows that you’re far from home, he’ll let in all your friends, take out the balloons and all the gifts he bought for you and give you the best birthday ever.

But for now he'll just ignore the fact that is your birthday, even when he feels bad seeing your cute eyes getting sad. He's sure the surprise later will worth it.

You appear on the bedroom again with his tea and pancakes, also a juice for you. He sits on the bed after leaving the phone when he listened your steps. and you give him all the plates and glasses while you enter at bed once again. He kisses your cheek in signal of good morning when you sit next to him. Having breakfast in bed is a thing you two do on weekends since he moved with you. It all started because Levi has sleep issues, so he woke up really early and cooked for you, and now you do it in turns. He tries the pancake and hums.

"It's really good." he says, and keeps eating quietly. He looks at his phone again, the group chat making free talk on it. "Oh, look, we're in the middle of May already..." says, deleting the notifications and siping his tea. He looked the date and didn't remember your birthday?

The day passes by with normality: Levi makes some paperwork before helping you with the cooking and you two eat together. When you were about to move to the garage to take something, he went for you. You thanked him and he felt sweat pearls going down his neck, seeing how you were behind his back while he openened the door, the garage full of colorful balloons. You left to take your phone, that was ringing on the table of the living room. He used the time he was alone in the garage to tell everyone that he was about to send you to the store. All agreed in going to your house five minutes later.

"Baby." he calls you from the kitchen. "We haven't got peaches." he says. You raise an eyebrow. Since when is he so worried about peaches?

"And?"

"I know you like them, so could you go to the supermarket and buy a couple of them? I was thinking about having fruit salad for dinner." he says, his voice is a quiet as usual, but he's trembling inside.

"Just do it without peaches, Levi." you say, moving to the kitchen. He has his sleeves rolled up and is searching some fruits on the fridge, to know which of them he's going to use.

"It's not the same. Just go and take a couple, hm? You'll be back fast and I'll wait here for you."

You pout but he looks at you, closing the fridge and keeping the eye contact between you two. He knows he won when you sigh. "What type of peaches?"

Peaches. That's the fucking reason why you're walking towards the store in a day like this, and not spending your birthday with your boyfriend. You sigh.

"At least he knows I like fruit salad with peaches..." You enter the supermarket and search them, without knowing that now Connie's arms are full of beautiful balloons, Jean is helping Sasha to put the candles on the cake and Levi is putting all your gifts in the table near the sofa. Under Levi's commands, they are decorating every part of your living room to make it a beautiful place to celebrate your birthday. You entertain yourself on the candies and chocolates section and then buy a few of them to try. You're coming back home, sending a message to Levi.

He receives it and makes all your friends hide in the living room. "Jean, I can see your feet from here."

"That's because he's a fucking skyscraper." Connie says.

"At least I reach the higher shelfs on the supermarket, bald head." he answers, making sure his feet are now covered. Levi tells them all to shut up since he can hear your keys on the door. He leaves the living room to enter the kitchen.

"I'm home." you say. You can hear his voice from the kitchen.

"Welcome home." he answers quietly. You get closer to him, wanting his welcome kiss, and he presses his mouth against your forehead. You receive it happy, and you give him the supermarket bag with the things you bought. "I also took some tea mochis, wanna try them?" he nods.

"Cool. Wait for me in the living room." You nod. You make your way to the place, opening the pack and smelling them quietly. They smell delicious.

You almost drop all of them when you find all the balloons in your living. 

“Levi?” you ask, the emotion shining in your eyes. “What’s this?”

He appears smiling behind you. All your friends have the order to say happy birthday and come out of their hidden places when Levi congratulates you.

“Happy birthday, y/n”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!” a lot of voices yell after him. You jump, scared by the repenting yells, but once you turn around you see all your friends coming from under tables and behind sofas. They are all there, smiling and wishing you happy birthday. You’re about to cry.

“Guys, you’re incredible” Mikasa is now hugging you and Connie is pulling your ears softly. Eren smiles quietly when you look at him, and Jean points Levi.

“You know we love to be praised, but this time your boyfriend was who got this idea. Sorry for not congratulating you before, y/n” 

“But...” you were speechless. He invited your friends and also bought a lot of balloons and things. Some tears started to form in your eyes and you felt how a hand took yours, pulling you towards a body that you knew really well.

"Happy birthday, my love." He whispers, making you blush from head to toes.

The little party was all fun and laughs, Connie told a couple anecdotes of all of you and Mikasa played cool music. Also, Jean and Eren bought a enormous cake full of tiny candles that you blew, wisihing to never lose this people. Levi looked at you so purely, how you were having fun and how you dragged him to dance with you. His beautiful grey eyes looking at yours. Then, all of them gave you the huge mountain of gifts they all bought for you, but you could easily recognize the ones that Levi packed, with precious ribbons and elegant letter.

Even when all those gifts were really good ones -and they all knew you didn't want them to spend on a gift for you.- the one Levi left for the end surprised you. It was the littlest of all, packed in a cute ocean blue paper. You took it, smiling at him. He was nervous. Maybe it was too much. It had a little letter on the top of it. "Please open me after the dinner."

"Oi, Levi, don't be like that!" Connie said. "Now I'm curious!" Levi looks at him raising an eyebrow, but he's smiling.

Some minutes later, they helped you two to put everything back on place, cleaning and all, even when you begged to them to go home.

"And let the birthday one do all the work? Nope." Jean said. "Eh, eh, eh, Sasha! Sto-" he left, seeing Sasha eating a piece of cake that "fell" from the top of it. You laugh and keep washing plates, with Levi by your side, drying them.

"A surprise party, hm?" you ask, your shoulder hitting his softly. He laughs quietly.

"I wanted to make something special for you." he whispers. You now remember the little gift that you're supposed to open after the dinner. Will you go out for dinner? Definitely, if you were having dinner there, you should be cooking instead of doing all of this slowly.

"It was special. Thank you." he smiles soflty.

"It hasn't ended yet." he whispers.

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Levi parks. You feel how the car stops. He insisted in covering your eyes, so you went all the way asking.

"Are we going to a restaurant?" he laughs and you hear the indicator sound.

"No."

"Are we... wait, where are we going?" It was late. All your friends left after helping. Jean had to drive Sasha and Connie home, so Connie sent a lot of pics in the car while he was copilot. Then, Levi appeared with that blindfold. You bited your lip.

"Put this on, please. We're leaving." Wait what? Leaving? For what?

"Leaving?" he nods. He takes a little bag near the entrance.

"Yep. Let's go." you followed him and he turned around, smiling. "Put it on, baby." you pout but let him put it on you.

And now he parked after a long way driving. He opens your door and helps you to get out. There's a wild wind and you can hear the ocean. You feel how the little pressure the blindfold was making dissapears on a moment. Levi has took it out. Since the sun is almost disappeared, you need a couple seconds to get your eyes used to the light. You're in the cliffs. Watching the sunset. Levi puts a blanket on the floor and tells you to sit. He takes out a couple plates and another one, that is covered, where he probably has the food.

"I thought maybe you would like to have dinner while the night starts to appear." he says, looking to the plates. Having dinner with such a pure human by your side while the starts start to appear above you feels like an absolute dream. You see how he eats a piece of watermelon. You smile at him, incapable of talking, and your eyes start to fill again with tears. "But don't cry" he says, pulling you towards him. Your face buried on his chest. "I love you." he says. Your eyes shot open and you try to part, but he presses your head quietly again to his chest. You can feel his heart beating fast. "I usually don't say this, you know. It's quite difficult for me to express myself, but you deserve it. You deserve to know how much you mean to me. I'll give my best to tell you every day how much I love you. Because I do. It's so deep, so deep..." He caresses your hair quietly. He takes the little gift from the bag. "You should open it now, don't wait to end the dinner." he whispers. You part a little and, before taking the gift, you take his face between your hands, caressing his cheeks quietly.

"Thank you." you were sincere. You were so grateful for having him. Not just today, that he prepared all those things, but everyday, having your back, giving you love and respect. He was near perfection, even reaching it. "Thank you, Levi. For being here with me and for making me feel so loved. I'll never end thanking you." You lean closer to him, pressing your mouth on his. The watermelon he tried before tastes sweet against your tongue. He buries his hand on your hair, pulling you closer to him. He parts for air.

"You should open the gift. And then have dinner. And we're not going to eat up each other, just in case you were going to make the joke."

You smile at him. He knows you too well. You open the gift softly, a necklace is shining inside the box. It has a little "L" on it.

"You know, that way you can always have a part of me."

"Are you Levi? Where's my grumpy and bossy boyfriend?" he laughs.

"I can switch to bossy whenever you want me to." he says. You give him the necklace and, tying your hair, you wait for him to put ii in your neck. You feel the cold L hanging on your clavicle. Levi presses his lips on your back, near the necklace. You show it to him and he smiles, caressing it.

You smile, the typical stupid and deep-in-love smile you've read on books. The sun keeps going down and the moon shines more intensely. The stars being witnesses of your smiles. The moon lighting the little L near your heart. You look at the sky, how beautiful it is full of stars.

He thinks the sky is beautiful, but you're the most beautiful thing for him. That's why he kisses your forehead, smiling at you. He put everything on the car right adter you two ended having dinner, just the blanket is left. You look at the stars, lying on the ground, and he does the same. You snuggle up towards him, his heat and arms receiving you. You kiss the point of his chest where you feel his heartbeat. He caresses your hair.

"Happy birthday." he says, once more. You smile against him and his hands wrap you.

You could stay like that forever.

[pixiegrl]

how ABOUT for the malum “I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you.” :-) some soft morning cuteness love u

Mandie! Hilariously enough I wrote a Malum piece to this prompt back in August and this is a pseudo sequel to that. Please enjoy for @blackbutterfliescal and @devilatmydoor celebration for Michael’s bday! 

On ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625850

Michael goes to roll over and finds that he can’t. Opening his eyes reveals that it’s because Calum is sleeping on his arm. Specifically, he’s curled up, snuggling into Michael’s side and snoring slightly in his sleep. Calum has one arm thrown over Michael’s chest, face pressed into Michael’s neck. It’s making Michael overly warm, pressed this close, but he doesn’t want to wake Calum up and disturb him. Michael knows it’s his turn to make breakfast, has a whole plan for what to do that involves pancakes and the fancy espresso that Calum likes but he can’t be bothered to move when Calum’s like this. He looks sleep soft and comfortable, burrowed into Michael’s neck, Duke curled up behind his knees, Moose and South draped over their feet. It’s rare to get mornings like this, living in their own bubble of domesticity. Mornings like this make Michael think about marriage, about being able to live like this forever. Logically, he knows that he and Calum are forever, that they’re going to get married at some point (especially since their conversation before Luke and Ashton’s wedding) but sometimes Michael gets nervous. He gets worried that eventually Calum will get bored of him, his late nights and video games and stupid brain that gets a little broken sometimes and tells him he’s not good enough. Calum’s his best friend though, knows Michael better than he knows himself, always knows how to pull Michael back from the edge. He’s never tired of Michael in all the years that he’s known him. Calum is Michael’s rock, his constant, even when Michael’s at his worst. Calum is sunshine and light and Michael adores him. 

Calum huffs, burrowing further into Michael’s chest. Michael snorts, reaching a hand up to play with Calum’s hair. Michael knows they need to get up, set to meet with Luke and Ashton, discuss band plans and tour breaks and the honeymoon they wanna take and trips back to see all their families. Michael knows they’re going to be running late if he doesn’t wake Calum up but he doesn’t have the heart to. Calum looks so peaceful like this, curled up with the dogs. It seems a shame to walk Calum up. 

Michael allows another few minutes of Calum curled up before he checks the time and realizes that they need to get up now or they’ll be really late. 

“Cal. Sweetie, you gotta get up,” Michael says, jostling Calum’s shoulder. Calum mumbles, stirring and opening his eyes. 

“Don’t wanna.” 

“We have to get up to meet the guys.” 

“Too comfortable.” 

“Well, my arm is asleep.” 

“Hmmm. What about breakfast?” Calum says sleepily, turning his head to look at Michael. 

“I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Sap. Now I have to get up and make breakfast.” 

“Hey! I help!” 

“No you don’t. You distract me,” Calum says, rolling his eyes and pushing himself up in bed. Duke grumbles his protest at the shift in position, moving away and whining. South perks up, realizing that Calum and Michael are awake, bumping against Michael’s hand until he starts to pet him. 

Calum rubs at his eyes, stretching and popping his back slightly before rolling out of bed. He turns to look at Michael. 

“I’m going to make pancakes. Maybe I’ll let you have some if you come help,” He winks, making his way out of the bedroom. Michale sighs, heaving himself out of bed and following after Calum, dogs close at his heels. 

They fall into their easy routine, a simple dance around the kitchen as they gather the supplies they need for their meal, finding their pancake mix and chocolate chips and coffee. Calum starts the espresso machine, grabbing the pan he uses to cook while Michael fills the dog dishes, making sure they have enough water while they’re eating.

Calum hums while he starts cooking, mixing the batter and spooning some out into the pan, watching it cook. Michael comes up behind Calum, looping his arms around his waist and resting his head on Calum’s shoulder while he cooks. 

“See? You are distracting,” Calum says, teasing in his tone. Michael giggles, pressing a kiss to Calum’s cheek just to have him swat halfheartedly at him. Michael laughs, trying to plant more kisses on Calum, dodging each of his attempts at smacking him. Eventually Michael retreats, lest the pancakes burn, and goes about managing the coffee, pouring it into their favorite mugs and getting the milk. Calum finishes up the cooking, grabbing the plates and taking them to the table, where Michael has set out the silverware and syrup. 

They settle into eating, quiet as they chew, dogs coming to sit at their heels to whine for little bits. Michael watches Calum, lit up by the glow of the early morning sun through the kitchen window. It bathes him in light, makes me look ethereal and suddenly Michael gets it when Ashton calls Luke golden and Apollo and the sun. Calum is Michael’s sun, the center of his universe. Even when Michael is unsure of himself, he’s always sure of Calum, steady, resilient Calum. It overwhelms Michael suddenly, the love and devotion he feels for Calum. 

“Marry me,” Michael says. Calum chokes on his next bite of pancake, coughing as he reaches for his coffee, chugs some of it, still coughing. 

“What?”

“Marry me, Cal. I love you. You’re my soulmate, you’re literal the other half of my soul. You know every part of me, the good, the bad, and all the mundane shit. You remember my favorite candy, where I leave my glasses, the last time I drank water. You know me in ways I don’t even think I know myself. I’ve known you were forever since the day we met and I don’t want to wait any longer. Let’s get married,” Michael says. Calum sits there, blinking at him. Dread feels Michael. Maybe he’s misread all of this.

“Fuck you Michael I wanted to do it first.”

“What?”

“Propose. I wanted to propose first. I even bought a ring and I had a whole plan. I was waiting for our anniversary. I had a whole thing planned with a song and photos and a whole thing. You can’t propose first what the fuck am I suppose to do now?” Calum says, brandishing his fork rather aggressively in Michael’s direction.

Michael registers what Calum’s said, face breaking out in a grin.

“Oh, so you will marry me?”

“Absolutely not. Where’s my ring for starters?” Calum says, grinning. Michael rolls his eyes.

“Well I don’t have one. This was spur of the moment.”

“Not real until you get a ring. Means I still have a chance to propose first,” Calum takes a bite of pancake, raising his eyebrows at Michael.

“No, this totally counts. I asked you to marry me.”

“Sorry, I actually have a ring, so I will be proposing first it seems.”

“Not if I go buy a ring today.”

“Well, now I’m not letting you out of my sight. And don’t even think of getting Luke or Ashton involved. You know Luke’s shit at keeping secrets and Ashton likes me the most,” Calum points out. He’s smiling widely enough that it looks like he has dimples, eyes crinkled at the corner in delight. 

“If you’re so keen on proposing first, why don’t you?” 

Calum balks, “I have a whole plan. For our anniversary.”  

“Since I’ve clearly messed it up, do it now. Our anniversary is in a month and I’ll be expecting it now. You can do your whole plan then and we can publicly announce it to everyone, but I want you to do it now. Just us,” Michael says. Calum pauses, chewing on his lip. He sighs heavily, pretending to be put out as he stands up. 

“Close your eyes.” 

“What?” 

“Close your eyes till I get back. At least give me something,” Calum says, rolling his eyes. Michael does the same thing, but compiles, closing his eyes. He listens to Calum’s footsteps as they leave the kitchen and again as they come back. They stop at the edge of the table and there’s a pause before Calum clears his throat. 

“You can open them now.” 

Michael does. Calum’s down on one knee, small velvet box open in his hand, putting the ring on display. It’s a gunmetal grey, black gemstone resting in the center, glittering. Calum looks a little teary, staring up at Michael and Michael can feel his own tears at the corner of his eyes. 

“Michael, you’re it for me. You’re the light of my day, the other half, my soulmate. You never fail to fill me with happiness, to brighten my day. I can’t dream of being anywhere else, loving anyone else, the way I love you and getting to share my life with you. I love you and I want to marry you. Even when you keep me up at night with your video games and your cold feet and your terrible sleeping habits. Michael Gordon Clifford, will you marry me?” Calum says, holding the ring up. Michael feels like he’s choking, tears at the back of his throat. All he can do is nod, letting Calum slide the ring home on his finger, pulling him up into a kiss. 

“I win,” Calum says against Michael’s lips. 

“Dork. Maybe I’ll get you a ring anyway, propose on our anniversary and steal the spotlight,” Michael laughs. Calum snorts. 

“Guess we’ll just have to be dorks together forever.” 

“Guess so,” Michael says, pulling Calum onto his lap and snuggling into him. He doesn’t care that he’s technically lost the engagement game. He can still propose on their anniversary, put it up publicly first. Michael looks down at his ring, smiling when it catches the light. As long as he can marry Calum, he’s happy. 

[lucaniisdellamorte]

!! I’d love to hear about your a6 ocs 👀

OH BOY ARE YOU IN FOR IT BECAUSE I WANNA TALK ABOUT THEM SO BAD SO I WILL TELL YOU EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF

Under a cut because it got long and uh spoilers I guess?

Okay so first I’ll talk about Farren

I hc her as not the youngest child but the 9th or 10th giving her at least one younger sibling (I’m still waffling on where her place was specifically)(but that puts her more towards 23-24)

Also hc that she was sneaking out of the palace long before she met Vexx, the first time she was about 12, after being told to sit down and shut up after trying to take Nerissa’s side in an argument against their father, she left and for the first time she felt like she could really breathe

After that she started leaving at least a few times a week, sometimes daily, just to go walk around the gold district (and bringing her younger sibling(s) treats from one the bakeries)

So I imagine she was the favorite among the guards and her minders when they realized what she was doing but not knowing how she was sneaking out

Eventually her older siblings also found and given her proclivity to be a little shit, started calling her Feral behind her back since her name is only a few letters off

You know the music box? It used to be Nerissa’s but Farren loved the song so much she started stealing it just to listen to it over and over especially when she was missing her older sister. Eventually Nerissa gave her the nickname Mouse and let her keep it so that Farren would always remember that there was at least one person in the palace that loves her

Was very aloof when she learned about who she was and what happened to her family, she didn’t want to think about in the  moment but when she was alone all she could was cry

While she does objectively understand that she isn’t responsible for the deaths of her family, she still feels like she’s to blame since her actions lead to them dying

Feels deeply, deeply ashamed that Vexx was able to trick her, that she was so desperate for a friend, to fall in love, that she missed whatever warning signs were that maybe Vexx wasn’t all that he appeared to be

So every time he calls her pathetic or tells her that she made his job too easy, it hurts her deeply though she tries her hardest not to let it show

Was dating Vexx and is now dating Damon

Yeah she’s got a Type (further proven by the fact that she has a little crush on Alisa) but at least this time around she’s massively upgraded

Also hc that Nerissa (if she was still alive or somewhere in the afterlife) approves of Damon actually but never approved of Vexx

She wants to get Zovack off the throne but isn’t sure that she wants to be the one to replace him. Sure she’s the last of her father’s line (which she hates being reminded that she’s related to him) and it’s her family’s throne, she just has the self awareness to admit that she isn’t the best person for the job. Yeah she got Princess Training but since she was so far down the line of succession, she was never taught how to be a Ruler like Nerissa was

Plus she sees being royalty in general as a cage and she wants out, signing up to be Queen feels like permanently clipping her wings

Doesn’t like being told what to do! Which of course gets on Cal’s nerves but he’s got her reasoning all wrong. Farren doesn’t like being told what to do not because she was a spoiled princess, but because for most of her life she was constantly told what to do or what not to do and she’s sick of it!

She does what she’s told to do sometimes though, she would just prefer to be asked to at least give her the illusion of having a choice

Here she is (her hair is like two shades darker though)

And now Daciana!

She also isn’t the youngest kid but she’s more in the middle somewhere around 6th or 7th (so she’s about 26)

She always tried to be a Good Princess, wanting to make Nerissa proud and always followed her lead, learning from her

Of course that put her in close proximity to her parents which she loathed but she was always willing to deal with it if that meant getting to be with Nerissa

Very good listening

Sure she was never likely to take the throne herself but she always wanted to be an advisor to Nerissa

She always wants to help

Woke up on the A6 to June’s pretty grey eyes and never recovered

Was very close to the two brothers that were the same age as her, Noa and Sorenn along with Nerissa

Loves learning about all the plants that Ryona is growing even if it is a tiny bit unsettling that most of what she grows is poisonous

 Not a fighter but her words can cut just as deeply without ever having to raise her voice, a talent she (unfortunately) learned from her mother

Seriously though this poor girl is so in love with June, the most memorable thing about her first time in a strip club (literally not just the first time in her memory, she’s never been in any establishment like the Arc) was that she got to hold hands with June

So of course it was absolutely devastating when he pushed her away after finding out who she is

Which she didn’t blame him for, it made sense, but it still sucked

Was very held together and strong when she found out about who she is though she also cried and cried the moment she was alone

Was only ever friends with Vexx and sneaking out with him was the first time that she had ever done anything against her parent’s wishes before

The music box was a gift from Nerissa, Daciana always loved it and Nerissa gave it to her before a trip where she was going to be gone for at least a month to try and help her when she was missing Nerissa and she when Daciana tried to give it back on her return, Nerissa let her keep it

Also really enjoys hanging out with Bash because she never got the chance to learn about mechanics and he’s a great teacher!

Likes wearing dresses and skirts, things that make her feel pretty and give her that little extra boost of confidence

Doesn’t necessarily want to be queen (since that was always supposed to go to Nerissa) but at the same time she’s not going to leave Zovack on the throne and if the only one that can replace him is her, then she’s going to do it

This is her!

And lastly Zuri!

Actually the youngest of her family! (making her about 21)

And a kitalphan!

Naive about so much, being locked away as one of the lesser important kids will kind of do that too you

She did read a lot though so there are things she does know but she doesn’t have a lot of real world application

Is absolutely horrified by the conditions on other planets (and even being told about things in the copper district)

She may be naive but Aya thinks she’s adorable so there’s that

Seriously Aya flirts with her and sometimes you watch it go right over her pretty head

She’s catching on though, she made Aya blush once and it was GREAT

Was very emotional when she found out about her past and who she is and it got worse when she was alone

Is absolutely down to help Damon sneak a cat aboard the ship but only if he sneaks her one too

Pretty easy going most days

Loves watching the stars and planets go by as they travel and especially loves watching them go by from the cockpit

Is it because Aya is there? Yes, yes it is

Was overwhelmed going into the Arc, there were so many people and so much going on that it got to be a little too much at one point

Would have loved to be born into a deep sea kitalphan family especially before everything went to shit, she can only imagine that living that deep in the water would have been fun

Is probably the least prepared out of all three of my ocs for the things that are going on around her atm but she’s doing the best she can not only to deal with it but to help out as well

Is kind of okay with possibly becoming queen since it seems that really only she and Zorack want the throne and he sure as shit isn’t going to be sitting on it much longer. She wants to help make things better and even if she is the least prepared she is the most willing to try

Zuri always wanted a music box like Nerissa’s but with a different tune (she wanted something a little happier) but since the metal (I forgot how to spell it) is ultra now, Nerissa gave Zuri her music box for her 21st bday and Zuri has treasured it ever since

She also dated Vexx, which of course she deeply regrets!

She still cares for him though despite everything, especially once she sees that he’s in pain, she wants to get him help and get him better but she’s not going to ever trust or date him again

In fact it might years and years before she would even consider calling him a friend again

Zuri always wore this necklace that her mother gave her, all bue and silver with a pretty opal stone that looks like a full moon over the ocean but between her escape and her rescue, it got lost and she’s really depressed about that

One of the things she used to do when she and Vexx would sneak was to feed the local stray cats until eventually she had a whole little group of them hanging out in the palace gardens which of course no one but her was excited about

And here she is!

[thecursedhellblazer]

{ @imthebatman​​ }

(( Look at me actually managing to respect a deadline outside university ones...well, more or less ^^” In my defence, this turned out to be much more than I had planned for it to be, but well, it’s done xD Good thing you told me about the bday thing in advance, otherwise I would have never been able to put this together and I would have gone for something easier and less time consuming >.> ))

(( So, first of all have a shitty edit of a Beebo ready to party: ))

(( But the real present is under the cut. I was kind of tempted to post it elsewhere, like on Ao3, because it came out much longer than I thought and Tumblr posts kinda sucks, but I decided to shove it down here anyway. And yep, I did write you a song fic u.u ))

(( Happy b-day, Palps! ))

“Everyone of us hides a story made of scars and sometimes shelters in a corner„

Thick grey clouds cover the sky, heavy with a rainstorm they might never truly deliver, not a single crack of blue in sight. Then again, the sun has never been a common presence in the sky of Gotham. It would feel out of place in the gloomy atmosphere that surrounds the city and among its many, dark moods. There’s little space for light when the air is so heavy, even in the moments of apparent peace. They are, after all, nothing but an illusion, yet another calm before the tempest comes back raging again, just as the silence of that slowly dying afternoon is.

John Constantine lights up a cigarette, letting the flame linger on its as he inhales the first mouthful of smoke. In the descending darkness, his mind finds it easy to overlap the hostile skyline that stretches before his eyes with his memories of London. Another city known for her gloomy weather, for the fog that so often lingers over her buildings, soaking the people she shelters in her bosom with humidity and cold. If he closes his eyes and tries hard enough, he can still feel it, that wet sensation that dives deeper and deeper, until it settles in your bones with the silent promise of never leaving you, no matter how far from it life will take you.

He lets his head fall back slightly, slowly blowing out the smoke towards the sky, watching as it fades, confusing itself with the clouds. He misses London, hell, he misses England in general. The country was never been kind with him and most of his worst memories belongs there, together with all the unsatisfied and sometimes vengeful ghosts he has left behind, but whether he likes it or not, it still is and will always be home. Assuming that there is a single place, in this world and all the others, that he can call such. He can’t deny that it’s fitting, though. A land that has brought him mostly pain and regrets, just as the physical house he has grown up in has been his personal hell ever since he can remember.

The magician grits his teeth, mouth curling in a frown. That is a whole other set of memories that haunts him and he doesn’t even need to make an effort to recall them. Every sleepless night spent in terror. Every hit, every bruise, every insult. Every time those hands touched him, brutal, merciless, unrelenting. The images and the sensations can get vivid enough to make his stomach turn and his hands shake, even after so many years. That’s the reason why he doesn’t dwell on them, the reason why he never talks about it. Repressing is easier. It’s almost like forgetting, with the different that the phantom burden never goes away. However, the heaviness Is something he is almost used to, by now, since he is constantly carrying on his shoulders the weight if not of the world, at least of all his mistakes and bad choices. And damn, most of the times he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between the two.

“So vulnerable, human heart’s an animal that doesn’t want to break cover„

It makes him wonder why he is still there. He has closed his case, the umpteenth clusterfuck that has brought him back to that city and to its lurking shadows. He has no reason to linger, especially not when that darkness calls his personal one out, causing it to resonate in tune with it. And yet there he is, perched on the railing of that balcony, skin and clothes stained with mud and blood. Not his own, for the most. It almost never is and, even when that’s the case, he always finds a way to be the last man standing, at the end of the day. The price for his life? Everything that can be taken from him and, especially, from the people who are unlucky enough to be around him, and then some more.

Constantine’s eyes slide close as he brings the cigarette back to his lips. The truth is that, despite what he tells himself, despite all the horrors and the losses he has faced, despite every lesson he has sworn to learn, he is weak. Selfishly so. He is so quick to deny others, and he is so harsh and unmovable in doing it, but with himself, oh, he has always been far too lenient. How that fits with his constant self-hatred, he isn’t completely sure. Perhaps it’s because he inevitably ends up losing everything he allows himself to have and keep, one way or the other. They have a cost, those indulgences, one that he cannot pay because he doesn’t have the means to do it. So Fate or Chance or whoever for them comes and snatches them away, sudden and violent, leaving yet another tear in his already far too broken core.

He bites back a scoff. The approaching night he’s watching now is nothing but yet another of indulgences. He knows where he wants it to lead him and he knows that he doesn’t deserve it. He should climb down the way he has climbed up, like the thief he is, and leave Gotham without looking back. He should and he would if he was enough of a decent person, but it’s been years since he has had any real shred of decency left in him. So, instead, he’ll stay and wait, as he always does. He’ll stay and take everything he can get his hands on, enjoying comforts and pleasures he has done nothing to earn. He’ll take and take and take, until the day when the tiny breach he has been using to crawl inside that small world where he doesn’t belong will be closed and he will find himself in the dark once again, alone and with yet another deep crack in his soul.

Blue eyes lock on the grey, threatening sky. It will happen, eventually, but not tonight. So, for now, he sits and soaks himself in the advancing shadows, his back to the lights that start to colour the windows of the manor. The symbolism isn’t lost to him, it never is, even if most of the times he pretends not to notice it, just to end up mulling over it later on. It’s a taste of what’s waiting ahead for him, once his time would have run out. It won’t be this quiet, though, and it won’t be this painless. The torment that fills his chest, however, that will be there, his eternal companion in death as it has been in life.

“If you want to back down I’ll try to understand but I just can’t help it I would, if I could give you a new innocence so, please don’t fear my caress„

The hand that descends on his shoulder is expected and by now very familiar, just as is the figure that presses up against his side. He has heard, or rather felt, the other man approaching him, even while lost in his thoughts, but he hasn’t turned around. He hasn’t needed to, not when he can easily imagine the whole scene in his mind without having to see it taking place in reality. Oh, his bloody imagination is just that good, but it’s a double-edged sword. His nightmares and lucid dreams are proof enough of what it can do, just as it is of how much it can wreck him when it chooses to.

Strong fingers travel down along the magician’s spine, taking in the tension that lingers in his muscles and the new tears that have been ripped in the worn material of his trench coat. However, in particular, they don’t miss how the exorcist initially reacts, stiffening even more under the touch, struggling until he manages to make himself accept it. It’s been months since they have agreed to let that thing between them officially exist, but the doubts and the reluctance are still almost as palpable as the bumps of his vertebrae.

Bruce bits back a sigh, deciding to pay no mind to it. He has almost resigned himself to the fact that there will always be a part of Constantine that will never accept his most gentle touches. The magician seems to instinctively recoil from them, as if they somehow hurt or as if he expected to get pain out of them. He has tried to bring the subject up, but John can be as stubborn as Batman himself when he chooses to and that has never led them anywhere, if not into an ugly fight. He is tempted to try again, but by now he knows the older man well enough and he can tell that, whatever he has faced that day, has been hard on him. A fact that inevitably destroys the already limited fertile ground there usually is for discussion. So, instead, the vigilante just keeps caressing, until the body under his palm has become as pliant as it’s capable of being.

“You’re a mess, Constantine,” he comments at that point, one eyebrow slightly raised and the lightest hint of amusement in his voice. What he doesn’t say is that he knows. He knows about the missing pieces and the darkness, about the stains and the scars. And he is fine with them, whether John likes to believe it or not, because he himself is far from being unblemished. He will be fine with them as long as the magician is aware that there’s no reason why he should fear Bruce and what he is willing to offer. He isn’t going to press, not even if he wishes he could, not even when he has all the rights to. And he isn’t going to ask for things that Constantine cannot give in exchange. What he demands, however, is to not be shut out and that’s something that it’s not up for discussion.

The exorcist finally turns to face the vigilante, an unimpressed look on his face. It’s a mask, a façade to hide all the thoughts that have been storming inside his mind, and they both know it. However, from Bruce’s indulgent expression, John can tell that, at least for that night, he will be allowed to keep his act up without having to try hard. It makes him feel both relieved and pained, because he has once again wrapped his hands around something he hasn’t earned and he will shamelessly drain that privilege until there will be nothing left to get out of it. Story of his life, really.

“Are we playin’ again that bloody game where we state the obvious? I know ‘m a mess, Wayne. But now, when am I not, hn?” He shoots back with an exaggerate eyeroll. He is hyperaware of the skilful hand that’s still working on the length of his spine. Bruce’s touch is always so warm and welcoming, despite the fact that he is always abusing the younger man’s time, his patience, his presence. That awareness is yet another torture for him, but at the same time he can’t help being greedy for it. “How did you know I was up ‘ere? Didn’t come in through the main door.”

The vigilante rolls his eyes, clearly making an effort to mimic exactly the gesture that has just been addressed to him. “Oh, you know. Alfred mentioned that he has seen someone in a dirty trench coat climbing along the front of the mansion,” he replies and his fingers dig in the magician’s side. It’s a playful gesture and he is pleased to see the obviously exaggerated reaction his lover offers, to play along with him. “I guessed that it had to be you.”

“Bullocks.” Constantine scoffs and turns his eyes back towards Gotham’s skyline, bringing the cigarette back to his lips. “The ol’ codger ‘s always in my bloody way. Damn him.”

“Everyone of us has to face more than once that feelings are just a delusion„

Bruce’s lips curl in the shadow of a rare grin at the comeback, but when the silence threatens to fall upon them, he doesn’t stop it. Instead, he removes his hand from the older man’s back in favour of leaning against the railing with his elbows, eyes locked on the slowly darkening horizon before them. He makes sure to keep touching, his side still pressed up against the magician’s, close enough to feel him twitching and shifting. Movements so subtle that would have been lost to him if he hadn’t made sure that they shared the same space.

He bows his head slightly, to be able to run a hand through his dark hair. It’s odd to be there, willing and somewhat content, with someone who’s so radically different from. John Constantine is a continuous, often rabid flood of energy, always moving, always changing, and he has, more often than not, felt like a rock in the middle of a turbulent river. Unmovable in its stillness, because that’s what he is compared to the other man, firm and steady where the exorcist is constantly shifting and fluctuating. However, even the sturdiest rock is fated to be affected by the constant, abrasive touch of the water and, to an extent, he has known it since the very first time their paths have crossed, among the smoke and the loud music of a London night not so different from many others. Of course, he didn’t realise it, back then, but it has taken him to meet John again, several years later, and be faced with a much darker version of him to understand how deeply under his skin the other had already crawled.

His mind flies back in time, to the years that have preceded that fateful meeting and to the ones that have followed it. He remembers the people who have touched his life, the women he has courted, mostly for fun and to keep his reputation up. Their names are mostly lost to him, aside from the two he’ll never forget, because, despite the bitter end those relationships have met, they have played an essential part in making him into whom he has become.

Selina was everything his younger self has never been allowed to have before her abrupt arrival in his life. Freedom and mischief, broken rules and total disregard for the conventions of the society he has grown up in. She was the adventure, the thrill of the forbidden. Her kisses used to taste like fresh air and carelessness. Her touches were sweet oblivion from the responsibilities. Taking her hand was stepping into new, unexplored worlds. In the end, she had slipped from his fingers while he was distracted by Gotham’s call, going where he couldn’t follow, just as the wild animal she has always been.

Rachel, on the other hand, was sweetness and stability. She was a bright light against Gotham’s endless gloominess, a gentle warmth capable of heating up the coldest night. Kissing her brought back, for the illusion of a moment, the innocence he lost at a far too young age. The way her hands moved on his body whispered promises of a home where he could have, if not forgotten, at least finally moved on from the pain and the losses. Holding her hands used to bring him comfort as nothing else in his life ever has. In the end, she had been a painful but necessary sacrifice, because the world she was promising him, as desirable and tempting, would have implied abandoning his cape and his duty to the city.

“So much wasted time making a fool of our pride just to come to the bitter conclusion„

Bruce slowly licks his lips. Now, both women are gone from his life. They linger, though, as ghosts from his past, reminding him of how fleeting feelings can be and what delusions they charm you with. Leaving them behind has been hard, it has taken a long time and, in the aftermath, it has pushed him to come to the conclusion that the only one he would always be faithful to, the only one he would never be able to resist would be Gotham.

Thinking about it now, he can tell that it has been easier than expected, to choose to wear the mask and the cape and to dedicate all of himself to the Night. She has always welcome him with open arms, with her secrets, her dangers, her battles. It has always felt right, like nothing else ever has. And so he has been fighting the madness that sprouts from her shadows ever since. Or, perhaps, the truth is that he has started his fight much before choosing to become Batman. Perhaps he has been sworn to the city and to its darkness since that night in that alley, when he has been left on his knees, between the lifeless bodies of his parents, screaming at the sky in agony for what had been so brutally stolen from him. Maybe it has been then that he signed his destiny, without even realising it.

A bitter, pained smile touches his lips at those thoughts. Even nowadays, despite everything he has gone through, he can tell without a doubt that he has found his calling and that the prices he has paid to follow it have been worth what he has got. It doesn’t make the sacrifices less painful, it doesn’t make the solitude less heavy to bear, but he is aware that, at the end of the day, the regrets won’t be burdening him enough to cause him to fall in the abyss he can see under his feet.

“I know, it hurts to mend all the shattered hopes but would you truly tell me that it isn’t worth pricking yourself with its thorns if it’s done to pick a rose?„

Bruce’s eyes leave the now dark sky and land on John once again. The man sitting next to him is the one variable he could have never predicted. He materialised on his path like a bolt from the blue, and definitely as dangerous as one. A walking bunch of cigarettes and arrogance, dressed in a trench coat that has seen much better days, incomprehensible but powerful words between his lips and nothing less than real magic on his fingertips. A ticking bomb shaped like a man, dragging the chains of a mysterious and yet obviously wrecked past and of his literally damned future. And yet, there he stood, still managing not to give a flying fuck about everything and everyone.

He remembers very clearly his own reaction, the first time they met after so many years. Batman was utterly annoyed by his flamboyant, caustic attitude and Bruce, from behind the mask, wondered where the messed up but still somehow hopeful young man he had found himself entangled with in London ended up. Constantine is not what he used to be, not even close, not even behind the parts of his act that are just for show. The sharpness and the cynicism in his eyes immediately made it clear, more than any rude word or flare of anger could ever have.

Peeling off all those crusted layers of smugnesss and exaggerated self-confidence hasn’t been easy, especially since the magician has fought him back at every step, but, all considered, it hasn’t taken too long for the self-loathing, the scars and the endless pit of regrets to emerge. John hasn’t lied, with his earlier answer. He always is a mess, a bunch of shattered pieces held together by a lot of bravado and willpower, and none of them is where it should be. He has seen the never healed wounds and the blood on the magician’s fingers, the only results of his vain attempts to get the shards back into a semblance of wholeness. And, before he could realise it, he was being overwhelmed by the urge to reach out and take his hands, mend the cuts, stop him from giving up on himself over and over again.

The truth is that he is still trying. Trying to make himself respect the limitations he has been given, trying to make it be enough, despite wanting so much more. However, Constantine has been adamant and he knows what it would mean breaking the rules he has willingly accepted. For all the contingency plans Batman has, Bruce himself tends to be defenceless, when his feelings are on the line. And he has seen how vengeful John can be, never above playing dirty, never above stomping over every single boundary, if it means achieving his goal. He would have found a way to get back at him, of course, eventually, but the irreparable damage would have been done anyway.

On good days, he tells himself that seeing the shock on the older man’s face that day, when he has chosen to put his heart in his callous hands, when he has chosen that “nasty piece of work” over everything else the world has to offer, has, on its own, almost made it worth the fights, the pain, the struggling. Then, there are the rare times when he has been allowed to see John blooming, with power, wits and a determination as bright as the light of his spells. In those moments, watching his shattered soul soaring, even if just through the hellish sky it is trapped in, aside from making him fall a bit more in love each time, vanishes every lingering doubt.

“I can’t promise you eternity but bare your soul for me Whatever it takes, you won’t regret having yourself let go once again„

“I’ll never bleedin’ get what you find so enticin’ ‘bout this soddin’ place.”

The exorcist’s voice breaks the silence and he turns to find Bruce staring at him. Oh, he has been aware of those eyes locked on him for some time now and that’s the reason why he has decided to speak up. There is something, in the younger man’s expression, that’s making him uneasy. He knows that look far too well by now and that’s the problem. His lover gets it every time he is thinking about something deep, something that involves him, or, rather, them. It doesn’t always lead to an attempt of conversation, thankfully, but it always gets too close to his sore spots for comfort.

His words gain him a raised eyebrow and he shakes his head because, despite what he has chosen to say, he doesn’t want to have that kind of conversation. Also because, among the other things, it would have forced him to admit that his statement is, for the most, a lie. He does understand the dark charm of Gotham far too well, not because he experiences it himself, hell no. As much in tune as that place can be with his own darkness, he is more than content to fuck off somewhere else whenever he has a chance to. No, the reason why he understands the strength of Bruce’s sense of duty, the reason why he knows exactly why the city will be, always and anyway, the younger man’s first priority is what John himself feels about magic. It’s not the same, and in his eyes Batman’s mission would always be, in spite of everything, much purer, less selfish, less corrupted. However, it’s the closest thing to a reflection of his own twisted existence that he has ever found in someone else’s life. And it’s why, perhaps, he shouldn’t be so surprised to see how willing the vigilante is to keep him around, to cherish him, despite all the deadly warning signs. They can be together while still prioritising their respective calling over everything else.

He chews the butt of his cigarette for a moment, and his eyes are looking lost once again. What they have couldn’t be further away from perfect, but, then again, it couldn’t be otherwise when people like them, all bruised and broken in different ways, are involved. It’s part of the reason why it works, even if all the odds are against it. And yet, he still feels bitter, now that he knows the stories behind Bruce’s past relationships. The way life has forced the younger man to choose or put a limit to the time he had to enjoy the bright sides of those bonds. John might have given up, at least for the most, on trying to push his lover to not choose him, but he cannot do the same with the time limit. There’s a clock ticking above his head, eating up, one by one, the seconds that separate him from that spot in Hell that has had his name for a long time now. And he will get himself damned again and again and again, endlessly, before he takes Bruce down with him. Denying the so often sung shared eternity of love is a gift, in their case.

He sucks in the last mouthful of smoke, hard enough that he can feel the burning down his throat and against his fingers, where his skin meets the burning hand of the now finished cigarette. There is no space for wistful poetry in what they share. Everything is harsh and desperate, ruled by the awareness of its limits, even in their quieter, warmer moments. Their shared passion always tastes like stolen time, and each kiss might as well be the last. It’s all just another story damned to end in tragedy, in flames, swallowed by the darkness. And yet, despite what he keeps saying, despite what he believes, there is still a part of him who wants to make it worth. For Bruce, mainly, but for himself too. He ascribes it to a streak of his selfishness, because that’s all it is…isn’t it?

But can it really be just selfishness, when you are fighting to make things better, even knowing that you won’t get to get an advantage for yourself out of it?

“Take me and make me as you want I’ll feed your dreams with my love„

Bruce feels the change in the mood even before John moves. There’s a sudden spike in the buzzing energy that constantly surrounds the magician and it usually indicates that he is about to do something either reckless or stupid. Or both, since when Constantine is involved the two things are, in most cases, the same. He isn’t sure what to expect, because his lover has the bad habit of being too hard to predict, and that’s one of the many things that Batman hates about him, because it makes the exorcist an incredibly volatile, untrustworthy ally. However, there is no cape or spell standing between them in that moment, and so, when the older man climbs off the railing, sets his feet down on the balcony and then lunges at him, he lets him, without a split moment of hesitation.

The kiss is bruising, hard, merciless. All teeth and tongue, no finesse, no patience, no softness. But it’s filled with scorching heat and the vigilante can’t stop himself from going weak, even if he would never admit it, because, when he can’t hold back the intensity that characterises all he is, John Constantine kisses both like a drowning man, lacing to the last gulp of oxygen he is being allowed, and like a starved demon, hellbent of devouring his soul.

Despite the force of the contact, though, he can feel the magician’s hands shaking, from where they are wrapped in the front of his jumper, pinning him against the railing. If it wasn’t so tragic, he could have appreciated the irony in seeing someone so arrogant and bold, a man who has gone as far as conning the Devil himself and mostly got away with it, so terrified of something as natural as love should be. If Bruce didn’t know exactly how it feels like, he would have been fascinated by how something human as emotional closeness can rip apart every barrier Constantine has so carefully built around himself, revealing the vulnerabilities, the fragility and the open wounds that are hidden under it.

He knows all of that, just as John is aware of it as well. It’s a struggle for the magician to keep himself there in those moments, because there is nothing he dreads more than feeling so exposed. It makes him want to fight and, if he can’t fight, then it makes him want to run. And he has, at first, denying the feelings he felt coming from Bruce, denying the ones that have been growing inside his own chest. Now, trying not to is part of the terms of their deal he has to respect, even when the instinct screams so loud inside his mind that he can’t hear his own thoughts.

And yet, here he is. And yet here he stays. It might be a selfish choice, it might be stealing what he doesn’t deserve, but there is more to it, for them both. There is a something new budding in the time and in the space they shared, stubborn as just the two of them can be. It’s a feeling, it’s a reality, it’s a dream. Its nature is hard to tell, so foreign and yet so familiar. One thing, though, seems certain: it might be doomed to meet a tragic ending, but that doesn’t stop it from fighting to survive everything that’s coming in its way.

“You’re trembling and I can see what you feel inside you a shy bud’s already blooming„

[in-tua-deep]

I don't really have anywhere I'm going with this idea but sometimes I wonder how affected by being 13 again Five really is. As much as he complains about being older & remembers his life, he still jumped himself back to a teen body and like?? how do brains work? his mind wouldn't be fully developed anymore so how much of his rudeness/recklessness/impatience/irritability is just down to him being a teen in a very stressful situation lol

okay i will be honest i am not a huge fan of neuropsych even though the class was really interesting!! Mainly because the brain is a big and very complicated organ that has a lot of parts that my own loser brain can’t keep straight whoops 

but you are very correct in that the brain of a teen is very different from an adult brain!! I actually remember watching a whole video in class about that specifically where it was a teen vs. an adult reacting to embarrassment where they were stared at by strangers

Five jumping back is a fascinating subject on how it affected him because theoretically he jumped back into his 13-year-old body right? BUT he still had the tracker implanted in his arm which implies that it didn’t just reset him, or at least not for physical items? Would a tattoo have stayed, considering the ink could be considered a foreign object? Does that mean Klaus would get to keep his tattoos even if he turned back to 13 when they jumped backwards? Is there anything else the Commission did to him that stuck around? 

I mean Five was an old man who was affected by starvation and malnutrition as well as having to deal with contaminated air, unclean water, vitamin deficiencies, general exposure to the elements, not to mention the extreme isolation and effects that would have on him mentally all of these lasting for almost four decades so you can’t tell me that the Commission didn’t have to do some serious medical catch up and I would absolutely not be shocked if a tracker wasn’t the only thing they did in that time tbh

honestly I think that the only reason his arm wasn’t goofed up was because his adult self was stunted enough from malnutrition that Five’s arm didn’t have a whole lot of shrinking to do around the capsule or move it too much?? I mean it’s not like Five’s suit was exactly hanging off of him, adult Five wasn’t too much bigger than teen Five (which was probably a good thing, no real issues in reach or equilibrium to throw him off in a fight)

where were we again

AH YES THE BRAIN

well yes absolutely teen Five is probably a whole lot more emotionally compromised than your regularly scheduled Five and not just because he’s under extreme stress - which he very much is!! But yeah - teens tend to think with more emotion than reason because the prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed yet (though everyone’s brain develops at a different pace and there’s no concrete number for when things settle, though there are averages of when a brain is at its peak for certain tasks)

(apparently you’re best at remembering unfamiliar names when you’re 22,, i hope in three days on my bday i suddenly become good at it because i’m garbage at names right now oof)

on the bright side Five probably regained some serious grey matter in his little expedition because 12 is when you peak at grey matter volume so if Five wants to learn new skills before the unused stuff is pruned away he’s at a good age for it

honestly one of the most tragic parts of Five going to the apocalypse when he did is that he was at the fun delicate age where peer interaction becomes really important to social development. and right at that age where people are really important, he managed to fling himself into a period where everyone was dead. I’m not surprised he had Dolores - i’m more surprised he didn’t have more mannequin friends tbh

of course, teens are also known for increased risk taking so his jump to the future is a tiny bit explained by that, i have no doubt that the kids who weren’t terrified of their powers did more than a little bit of experimenting themselves like you can’t tell me that Luther didn’t try lift way more than he could handle and we literally see Klaus setting fires and the kids were already doing risky things a la sneaking out and getting donuts at Griddy’s under their dad’s nose

think about it!! it’s possible that Five is going to go through proper growth spurts he never did the first time around due to lack of nutrition! he might get tall!! i mean if him and luther are actually twins then it’s possible five is going to shoot up in height which he is not going to be used to just a gangly teen stumbling over his new extra height like a colt (while also murdering the rest of the family for teasing him about this)

Five is thirteen again what a wild age, and an important age

he’s almost in high school i mean damn do y’all remember what high school kids can be like?? you people still in high school look at your peers and tell me a lot of them aren’t little shits but like,, it’s important because your peers are important!! in fact, after a certain age your peers become more important to your development than your family - which is why you’ll get plenty of kids whose idea of morals and politics are very different from their parents!

okay i have rambled a whole lot but yes

Five has a lot of growing up to do!! but also jumping back, even with the added impulsiveness, lack of emotional control, etc. would also fix lots of issues Five probably had - aches and pains and damage from badly set bones and dental issues from lack of hygiene and any and all problems from his malnutrition etc. etc. 

so he does have some things to be vaguely thankful for even if being stuffed into a body that no longer belongs to you is still really sucky because despite everything five earned those aches and pains and scars and there’s a certain level of pride in surviving and having those reminders that he did survive 

and all of that was gone in the blink of an eye, erased as if it never happened - and it did happen

i’m sure Five’s siblings would love for him to pretend it never happened and sweep it under the rug and start acting ‘normal’ again but it happened! it happened and five was messed up from it! except it didn’t happen in this timeline and it’s just,, it must be really hard to be him i don’t know

:(

[ravens-rambling]

Birthdays are Stupid

A/N: And yet again I wrote this ages ago and just got around to editing it you can thank my lazy ass XD But this is for Deceit’s bday sorry it's crappy but hey its something. So happy Belated Bday you slimy boi! I love you!! Prompt is from here!~ http://promptplease.tumblr.com/post/138467712511/29-february-otp-prompts

summary: Birthday’s are stupid. There’s no point in them, especially considering the fact that they aren’t even technically humans. Despite all of this a certain snake side couldn’t help but feel a small ache in his chest as the day to his suppose birthday draws near. He’s never had a birthday before why should he want one this year? 

WC: 1,683

ships: Platonic DLAMP 

warnings: Crying, slight angst, slight anxiety 

Tag List: @punsterterry @frostedlover @stormcrawler75 @mutechild @mycatshuman @panicattheeverywhere15 @thewinterbookqueen @analogical-mess  

Birthdays were stupid. They weren’t even born or anything why must they have a birthday? To fill some need to feel human? To be happy? To have some excitement? To have something to look forward to in the year?

Deceit doesn’t get it.

It also doesn’t help that he suppose ‘birthday’ takes place in winter. A time where he wishes he didn’t exist and just sleeps for months bundled up in so many heating blankets that it practically becomes a fortress that even Roman would be jealous of.

And sure he knows when the other birthdays are. And sure he watched while the others have their parties. And sure he was happy for Virgil when he had his first birthday with the light sides cause he deserves it.

Okay and maybe he cried a little bit as he watched the anxious side come down the stairs that day and almost burst up crying at what they did for him.

He’s a light side now, they accepted him, that’s what they do for one of them…

But he’s not apart of that, is he? He’s not a light side…

He won’t ever have a birthday party…

There was a certain…feeling in his chest as he came to that conclusion. One that he couldn’t quite place. One that haunted him as the days went by and got ever closer to the day in question.

But no matter he can just sleep the day away. He won’t feel this feeling. He won’t feel sad. He won’t feel anything. It’s not like snakes can feel things right? He’s a villain, a dark side, he's not supposed to feel that way. Here he is getting sentimental and actually feeling things for once, he had to hold in a snicker, maybe Virgil really is getting to him.

No matter, not like any of that matters right now.

When he went to sleep that night, however, he felt a slight hope in his chest. Maybe they will care this year. Maybe he can actually be invited to a party? But no, he’s hoping for too much, he’s a villain, a stupid villain that is wishing for stupid things. He should just hide his emotions better, yeah that’s easier said than done he suppose.

“Dee! Wake up, sleepyhead! Come downstairs before breakfast gets cold!”

That’s Patton’s voice. Why would he be waking him up for breakfast? He’s never done this before?? Normally he waits to the afternoon to grab any leftovers that he could possibly steal and hideaway for the day. Why does he bother making anything for him now? Let alone wake him up for it?

It’s properly some prank Virgil or Roman made him do. Yeah, that’s it. No need to get stupidly hopeful now.

One thing was for certain, he was really tired right now. Even though he went to bed early last night and it’s now… 9 in the morning, he checked his phone, he didn’t even want to change. He wanted this stupid thing done and over with so he can sleep more. Stupid winter. Stupid cold. Stupid cold-blooded. Course he had to be the one that is cold blooded huh? What great luck for him.

He didn’t even bother getting changed. What was the point? So he just rolled out of bed his tired eyes blinking as he opened his door and closed it behind him. Slowly he walked down the hall opening the door to the light sides hallway then walked to the staircase. Why did he have to do this? Why does everything hate him…

“Surprise!!!”

“Happy Birthday slimy boi!!”

“Oh my god, Dee what are you wearing??”

“It’s clearly a snake onesie Virge why is that concerning to you?”

“It’s not concerning! It’s just…weird.”

“Ah my bad well it’s not surprising as-”

Deceit blinked complete shock and surprise clear across his face. He couldn’t even process what was going on. They all were huddled around the living room has a wide range of birthday supplies in their hands. There was a huge banner up on the wall reading 'Happy Birthday Dee!!’ with a few poorly drawn snakes around it. Littered across the ceiling were green and yellow streamers.

Deceit couldn’t believe it. This was real. An actual birthday party for him… Or maybe he’s dreaming? That could be it he has had some weird dreams when he’s hibernating…

“Dee? Is everything okay kiddo? You're crying.”

He felt a sudden heat on his arm and jolted back to reality. Only to notice yes, in fact, he was crying, as he could barely see a blob of baby blue in front of him. Shit, great, now he’s crying. He must look like a complete fool in front of them.

“Yes, I am crying. You’re just seeing things.”

“Kiddo. It’s alright. Do you want a hug?”

“A hug sounds…not nice right now.”

Even though he knows hugs show weakness. Even though it’ll ruin, what is it that Virgil calls it, his reputation. He really, really, needs a hug right now he can tell. His heart felt like it was going to burst. His mind couldn’t keep up with what he’s seeing.

They actually are having a birthday party for him.

Gently Patton pulled him in close Deceit resting his head on the other's shoulder while he silently sobbed.

“It’s alright Dee. Happy Birthday, kiddo.”

He felt hands rest on his shoulders and back, warmth. Care. Love. Safe. Family?

“Yeah happy birthday you snake boi.”

“You already used that one Princey.”

“So! I can use it again! Who’s counting?”

“Do we need to go through the breathing exercises, Deceit?”

He shook his head. No… No, he’s good.

“I-I’m…so happy…” He wasn’t lying through his teeth this time. No, he was telling the truth. He really was happy, despite the fact that he was crying. Despite the fact that he felt like his heart was shattering. But no, he felt like he could be apart of this family for once. Maybe… Now that bit of hope that he tried to squash before he let it out, even fueled that fire to where his entire soul felt it. Yeah, he was happy, hopeful, safe.

“Well since Dee’s wearing a onesie I think we all should wear onesies! A onesie party!”

Roman shouted after Deceit calmed down a bit from his crying session. Though he was still glued to a hug by Patton.

“Really Roman? What is the meaning of that? I don’t see how that-”

“We’re doing it Specs! And…. There you go!” He finger gunned Logan who one moment he was wearing his normal polo and tie, the next he was wearing his unicorn onesie. And even Deceit could see a faint trace of pink dust on Logan’s cheeks.

“This is highly embarrassing Roman change me ba-”

“Oh oh do me! Do me next Ro!”

“Gotcha and…” He finger gunned Pat and when Deceit looked down he could see Patton’s blue shirt changed to his grey cat onesie.

“Now you look simply purrfect Pat!”

Patton just about squealed in Deceits ear at the pun, “Ro! Aaaahhhh you made a pun just for me!!!”

“You betcha I did.” Roman turned towards Virgil with a shit-eating grin, “And now your turn V.”

“Oh no. No no no. Roman, you do that I will murder you so fast you-”

“Too late!” And just like that his normal hoodie was replaced by a black Toothless onesie, complete with the large ears and tail.

And Virgil looked pissed.

“That’s it get here Princey! Change me back now!”

Deceit giggled under his breath as the others burst up laughing as Virgil started running after Roman, the emo side chasing the creative one around the living room and kitchen. Even Logan was chuckling.

The lying side had his mouth covered with his hand while he giggled, there was no way he’ll let the others know he laughed. That was until he heard Patton from behind sneak up and gently held his wrist.

“I can hear you laughing kiddo. There’s no reason to hide your smile from us. I bet your smile is the cutest thing!”

Well, that was one reason why he didn’t want the others to see. And another reason…

But he let Patton pry his hand from his mouth only to hear a sudden loud squeal from behind. It was so sudden and loud that even the two sides paused and looked over. Logan froze from where he was sitting and eating his breakfast to look over too.

Deceit sighed as his snake tongue hissed out of his mouth. A wide grin played across his face before he could stop it. Now his cheeks were bright red, even he could tell. Great. Just great.

“Dee! You didn’t tell us you had a little snake tongue! That’s just the cutest thing ever!!”

His cheeks only grew brighter as he quickly tried to calm his tongue, stupid thing has a mind of its own when he’s happy like this.

“Yes. It is.”

“Woah! You're even more like a snake then I realized! Now I really can call you with my snake references!”

“Even I didn’t know you had that Dee. You’ve been keeping secrets from me. Not cool man.”

Of course, instantly he had a mass of white in his face. He looked up to see Logan looking down curiously at him, he adjusted his glasses as he spoke typing away at his phone.

“Is it an actual snake tongue or rather a normal tongue that’s forked? Can you control it? How long is it exactly? Is it-”

“Woah Woah Lo back up! You're smothering him.”

Just like that Logan left to be replaced by Virgil’s black mass.

“Oh um sorry Dee. I got excited and I-”

“It’s no problem. Uhh…” He took a breath. He didn’t think the others would find his snake-like tongue this interesting. This was certainly very unexpected. He wasn’t even sure what to say back now.

But despite all of that he smiled faintly his tongue bleeping out of his mouth. Yeah… Maybe he likes birthdays now just slightly.

[wendylewis-blog]

04.05.2020 / April ain’t foolin

Friday

I listened to Paul Westerberg this morning, shaking some yang-yangs out’mah head. Hello, grey day—I love you right now. This low cloud cover makes me feel cozy and want to write. It’s 8:03am. 

Didn’t sleep well, got up around 3am but made use of it, sorta. Steeped some tea, stared into the yard after letting the dog out with the door open, allowing the chilly morning to swirl around me in the entryway. Started to write this post. Teared up a little listening to Wally, Egon & Models in the Studio (Rachels) —affronting sentimentalism and tweaking it up, all the same. It’s here, in our faces. Splatttt! Really? Yep. 

What have we been building for the last three decades?

Pine branches sway as the sky grows lighter. I imagine they are waving to me. I wave back.

Saturday

Last night I rewatched The Matrix, took a three minute break at 10pm to sing a song with Al Church on Uncancelled Music Festival, which alarmingly wtf? has very few women slated, I’ve heard. That was not lost on Al, so he invited me and Diane Miller to join him during his set. Wish I could have heard the set (jury-rigged in via FaceTime for my song)—still, it was was nice to feel like I was performing. I covered Mr Rabbit, a folk song written in the early 1900s—every little soul must shine—like, we all matter, okay? 

Always—stories, poems and songs lighten a load, convey a message, scream out loud, or cry into the lightless maw of injustice, as it goes and goes...ugh. Keep it allll comin, artists of every kind. It’s up to us to leave stories behind for future generations and nothing would matter at all if no one was listening or watching or saying. 

I had a remarkable dream a few nights ago. Everything was warm, and felt almost combustible, just beneath the surface. I wiped my hand across a table creating a swath of fire, left footprints of fire, everything I touched lit up in a graceful trail of blue/orange flame < it looked just like that. It wasn’t hot or painful—I was never burned. It was just there, like surfaces, like me. 

Today is my mother’s bday. She flew long ago. The longer she is dead, the more I come to understand her, at least in my own way. It’s one-sided now but I get to work it out until I make my exit. 

Sunday

It’s afternoon. The sun is shining. I’ve had a fairly good week and barely listening to the news likely had much to do with that. I’ve made some good meals. The soup last night was tasty (thanks, Kitty!) and this morning, I ground up the last of my homegrown, dried and over-wintered in a Ball jar cayenne peppers and poured them into the shaker. It’s stupid how much I loved that—haha! Small triumphs?

I stumbled on a brand new podcast, Sugar Calling, in which host Cheryl Strayed has conversations with writers. In this first episode, her discussion was with one of my favorites, George Saunders. He had been her professor when she was getting her writing degree years prior. He is a gentle, kind and amusingly/cynical (hmmm... that’s the closest I can come, sorta Vonnegut?) and insanely creative, challenging writer. Highly recommended but, you have to stop to listen. Don’t be doing your dishes or cleaning out a closet. 

Speaking of writers, my friend Karissa linked me to a quote from Arundhati Roy (posted on Instagram here). I love Roy’s brain wrapped around any topic, unleashing her always razor-sharp elegance around both a concept and the written word. I tried to find where the essay came from and, I did. I’m linking you to the essay she wrote in Financial Times (pay only $1 for 4 weeks, cheap for a test drive). Anyway, I was able to grab a bit of it before they cut me off, pasted below. 

I’ll leave you here, within her sturdy, powerfully honest and vulnerable perspective. Think on it. 

Be well, take care, talk soon. Lovelove. 

Who can use the term “gone viral” now without shuddering a little? Who can look at anything any more — a door handle, a cardboard carton, a bag of vegetables — without imagining it swarming with those unseeable, undead, unliving blobs dotted with suction pads waiting to fasten themselves on to our lungs? 

Who can think of kissing a stranger, jumping on to a bus or sending their child to school without feeling real fear? Who can think of ordinary pleasure and not assess its risk? Who among us is not a quack epidemiologist, virologist, statistician and prophet? Which scientist or doctor is not secretly praying for a miracle? Which priest is not — secretly, at least — submitting to science? 

And even while the virus proliferates, who could not be thrilled by the swell of birdsong in cities, peacocks dancing at traffic crossings and the silence in the skies? 

The number of cases worldwide this week crept over a million. More than 50,000 people have died already. Projections suggest that number will swell to hundreds of thousands, perhaps more. The virus has moved freely along the pathways of trade and international capital, and the terrible illness it has brought in its wake has locked humans down in their countries, their cities and their homes. But unlike the flow of capital, this virus seeks proliferation, not profit, and has, therefore, inadvertently, to some extent, reversed the direction of the flow. 

It has mocked immigration controls, biometrics, digital surveillance and every other kind of data analytics, and struck hardest — thus far — in the richest, most powerful nations of the world, bringing the engine of capitalism to a juddering halt. Temporarily perhaps, but at least long enough for us to examine its parts, make an assessment and decide whether we want to help fix it, or look for a better engine. 

The mandarins who are managing this pandemic are fond of speaking of war. They don’t even use war as a metaphor, they use it literally. But if it really were a war, then who would be better prepared than the US? If it were not masks and gloves that its frontline soldiers needed, but guns, smart bombs, bunker busters, submarines, fighter jets and nuclear bombs, would there be a shortage? 

Arundhati Roy APRIL 3 2020 

[decembercamiecherries]

Word count: 2,712 

This was a fic written for @xcoruscaminex‘s bday a while back! It takes place during her Monster Slayer au, but all you need to know is that in this universe monsters are common, Gon and Killua are both vampires (Killua being recently turned by Gon) and that Illumi is after them both.

The title was taken from lyrics in Taylor Swift's song 'New Year's Day': Don’t read the last page / But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you’re turning away / I want your midnights 

Once the cabin was in sight, Killua started running.

“Gon!” he yelled. His voice echoed off the trees, crashing back down on his ears. Dead limbs and shadows passed him by as he sprinted through the rotting forest that had become so familiar to them the past three months.

Familiarity wasn’t a luxury Killua had grown up with. Nor was safety, nor love. These were all things he had learned with time, because someone had been patient enough to teach him. And it was because of that someone Killua was so scared.

“Gon!” He was louder this time, with a little more desperation. But still, there was no response as Killua reached their cabin’s front stoop.

Killua stood frozen for a few seconds, blood roaring in his ears and his chest heaving. He tried his best not to picture what he was most fearing—Illumi standing over Gon’s headless corpse, his brother’s black and lifeless eyes empty as he turned his gaze on Killua—

No.

Killua grit his teeth. Focus, Gon had to be here somewhere. He wouldn’t leave without Killua, no matter what. so that meant Killua just had to find him.

“...llua?”

The faint call was just loud enough to reach Killua’s ears. His head snapped up, breath lodging in his throat, and then he was sprinting. His heart galloped as Killua raced around the cabin and off towards the sound of faintly crashing waves.

When Killua burst out of the forest and onto the small opening overlooking a cliff, the first thing he saw was Gon—Gon in his full form, kneeling down in a bed of brown dirt, his spikes swaying in the ocean breeze. Not headless, not bleeding, not dying at Illumi’s hand.

Killua sagged against a tree. Thank god. Gon was okay.

“Killua?” Gon asked, golden-red eyes wide. He quickly moved to stand. “What’s wrong, are you okay?”

“Didn’t—” Killua began, breathless from panic and running, “—d-didn’t you hear me? I’ve been calling your name for the last five minutes!”

“Yeah?” Gon slowly approached Killua, almost as if he was worried about scaring him off. “That’s why I called your name back. Are you okay?”

Killua swallowed thickly. Was he okay? Physically, yes. Mentally...maybe not so much.

All he said to Gon was, “We need to go.”

Gone frown deepened. There was a smudge of dirt under his chin and Killua had to clench his hands to keep himself from reaching out to wipe it off. How long had Gon been out here, working in the garden? What might have happened if Killua hadn’t rushed back as fast as he had?

Gon said, “Killua, you’re not making any sense. Where do we have to go? We just ate—”

“That’s not what I meant,” Killua snapped and Gon’s mouth shut with a click. The concerned look on his face grew more intense and he stared at Killua with a furrowed brow and pursed lips.

Killua immediately felt guilty. “Sorry. I—I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“It’s okay.” Gon took another step closer, close enough that Killua could grab his hand. If Killua wanted. “But, Killua, you haven’t answered me. What’s wrong?”

Gon reached out. Killua stiffened as warm fingers brushed the shell of his ears. Gon gently tucked a stray silver strand of hair behind Killua’s ear, the worry on his face melting into something softer, kinder, and Killua’s heart throbbed in kind.

Gon was too good to be his. And that was why he had to protect him.

“When I was in the village…” Killua swallowed thickly, panic crawling up his throat once more. “I heard some people talking.”

“Talking about what?”

Killua locked eyes with Gon, blue clashing with gold. “About funding for a Hunter.”

That finally seemed to get to Gon. He blinked rapidly, mouth falling open in an ‘o’. “Really? Well, I mean, I guess if they all pull money they could get someone to come here…”

Killua blinked. He hadn’t expected that kind of response. “Wh-What?”

Gon, though frowning, didn’t look overly concerned. He wasn’t panicking like Killua, nor running back to the cabin to start packing. He just continued in that same thoughtful tone, “I mean, everyone here is pretty poor. Even our cabin was abandoned before we found it! I don’t think the villagers would be able to pull together the funds for a real Monster Slayer like your family.”

Killua gaped at his partner. “Gon, that’s—that’s not the point! They found a body completely drained of blood, washed on shore!”

Gon grimaced. “Oh no...I thought we had pushed the last body far enough away—”

“Well clearly we didn’t.” Killua moved away from Gon to stride across the small opening. The wind grew stronger as he neared the edge of the cliff, air ripping at his hair and making his coat flap around his shins. Waves crashed against the rock and clouds rolled over their heads. There would be a storm soon.

“Killua?”

The ex-Monster Slayer didn’t turn. He continued to stare out at the grey horizon, a deep pang in his chest. They’d been happy here. In the past three months Killua had built a small collection of precious memories—collecting shells with Gon along the shore, patching up the holes in the cabin walls, buying blankets and talking with villagers. Every moment had been something out of a sacred oasis.

But that was all over now. They’d have to leave first thing tomorrow, if not tonight.

A warm hand grazed his own. Killua didn’t move when Gon laced their fingers together, holding on tight.

“I know that look on your face,” Gon said and Killua scowled.

“What look?”

“That look. The intense one when you get all quiet and closed off and your eyes go cold.”

“That’s my usual expression,” Killua said, exasperated.

“Not around me, it’s not.”

Killua didn’t have a retort to that. Gon sighed, the sound barely heard over the thunderous roar of the ocean in front of them.

“Killua, it’ll be fine.” He squeezed their fingers. “Even the most trained Slayers can’t find us. What can one do?”

Gon...Gon doesn’t get it, Killua realized suddenly, a cold feeling settling in his gut. Gon wasn’t coming to the same conclusion as Killua, that they needed to run and get away before rumors spread. Gon thought the villagers wouldn’t have enough money to hire a Slayer that could hurt them.

But that didn’t matter . Rumors about bloodless bodies would spread around the Slayer community, and his brother would come in a heartbeat. It was only a matter of time.

“Gon,” he said as carefully as he could. “We...We can’t stay here.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Gon asked, sounding confused. “We’ve stayed here for three months without a problem! The island is too small to draw any real attention.”

“Under normal circumstances I would agree with you, but you can’t assume this won’t get back to Illumi. He’s bound to be listening for just this sort of thing. It won’t take him long to get here.”

“But we—we can’t just go.” Gon had paled, distraught filtering into his golden irises. Killua inwardly cursed. Gon was going to fight him, and Killua was going to have to fight back. He only hoped Gon wouldn’t hate him too much after they were done.

“We can and we must,” Killua said and finally turned to look at Gon directly. His partner’s eyes were a brilliant gold, the brightest and most colorful thing here.

Killua forced himself to focus. “Listen, it’s only a matter of time until we’re found. The bodies are plenty evidence that there’s a vampire in the area, and other, better Slayers will come soon—”

“Then we fight them!” Gon snapped. “We’re stronger than other vampires, and if we can escape Illumi, we can take on anyone else!” His grip had tightened on Killua’s hand, as if he thought he could win Killua over with his strength alone. Which was wrong .

Killua grit his teeth. He could feel his fangs sharpening in response to his own adrenaline and stress, his body preparing for a fight. “We can take on one Slayer, sure. But what if they buy three? We can’t go up against something like that, and even if we do, Illumi will show up next! If he catches up to us here we won’t have anywhere to go. It’ll be over.”

Gon was scowling in turn now. There was a dark look lingering in the shadows of his eyes, but Killua had to keep pushing. He snapped, “You know I’m right, Gon!”

“Maybe you’re not right,” Gon snarled back. “Ever think of that?”

Killua recoiled minutely. Gon never talked like that, especially to him. But he was over his shock a second later, yanking his hand out of Gon’s roughly and biting out, “ No , because when it comes to Monster Slayers, it’s kind of obvious who the expert is here! Why should we do what you think—you were the one who got caught in the first place!”

Gon’s eyes narrowed. “We’ve both gotten caught, Killua.”

“Yeah, but you got caught by Piggy. He’s hardly a high class Monster Slayer. I got caught by my brother and Hisoka; I know what they think like and they will come. I’m sorry but this is one case where you can’t just be optimistic and hope for the best outcome—”

“What’s so wrong about being optimistic! Or wanting to stay in the first home we’ve ever shared together!” Gon yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. Killua caught sight of a looping scar on the skin of his wrist between his jacket and glove, and something sharp stabbed at his heart.

Gon wore Killua’s own name on that wrist. And Killua wore his. They were promised to each other, married in the only way vampires knew how. Killua cherished Gon’s name on his wrist more than anything—cherished Gon more than anything.

Killua couldn’t risk Gon getting hurt. He wouldn’t.  He would pay whatever price necessary to keep him alive, even if it meant Killua had to leave Gon behind to do just that.

He would lead Illumi and Hisoka on a wild goose chase. He would distract them from Gon, distance them, and then Gon could keep this home and their priceless memories. Killua could come back whenever he managed to shake their attackers off.

Killua took a deep breath to steal himself. He couldn’t crack from this. He was doing this for Gon.

“What?” Gon suddenly looked on edge, his shoulders jumping up to touch his ears. “Why are you looking at me like that? What are you thinking—”

Killua began in the most soothing tone possible, “Gon, just listen.”

Gon actually hissed at him, baring his fangs at Killua and glaring with gold eyes full of fire. “If you suggest something stupid like I stay here and you go off on your own—”

“It’s not stupid!”

“Yes, it is!” Gon snarled. He looked more furious than Killua could remember seeing in a long time. Like he was ready to fight Killua for even mentioning they separate. “You—You think I’m just going to abandon you! That I’ll just let you sacrifice your life so I can stay here, alone and without you?! You know me better than that!”

Killua bristled. “I do know you, and you always say what you’re thinking! And you literally just said you wanted to stay here—”

“I want to stay with you, Killua!” Gon cried out and stomped his foot down into the dirt. Killua jumped, shocked at the intensity of Gon’s response. “You—We—We’re bound . I’m not going anywhere without you! Why don’t you get that, after all this time we’ve been together?”

Killua sputtered. A hot flush crept its way up the back of his neck and was spreading to his ears. Gon’s loud declaration had caught him off guard, and he didn’t know how to respond. “B-But you, you said—”

“Killua.”

Two warm, broad hands clapped over Killua’s cheeks. Gon held onto his face tightly, forcing Killua to look into his eyes. Killua’s heart stuttered helplessly as he gazed into gold irises...

“I will never leave you,” Gon said slowly, purposefully, unblinking and unwavering. “Never. Okay? If—If I have to give this place up to be with you...you’re all that matters to me. This cabin is just a shack without you. It’s not home.”

Killua’s eyes prickled. “You mean that?” he croaked out, throat growing tight.

The intensity in Gon’s gaze softened. “Of course. You know I don’t lie.”

Killua swallowed thickly. His heart was quivering in his chest. He didn’t know how to tell Gon how much that confirmation meant to him, so he simply grabbed the front of Gon’s jacket and yanked him forward into a hug.

Gon grunted at the sudden rough movement. But he moved automatically to wrap his arms around Killua’s middle, like they weren’t in the middle of a fight, like Killua was the only thing that mattered. Killua felt Gon bury his face into Killua’s hair, and inhale deeply. Killua’s face burned in a heated blush and twisted his hands into fists against a Gon’s back. Gon was embarrassing even when they were just hugging.

But he wouldn’t have it any other way. Gon was his, and he was Gon’s. They belonged together until the end of time and Killua couldn’t imagine spending a minute of his life without Gon now that they had met and fought and loved. Killua was willing to sacrifice all that just to keep Gon safe, but...he was secretly relieved that Gon didn’t feel the same way.

“I’m sorry for yelling,” he whispered and Gon hummed, tightening his arms around Killua minutely.

“Me, too. I just...I don’t want to go. I love it here.”

“I do, too,” Killua confessed and pulled back to look Gon in the eyes. “But you know what I’m saying is right, don’t you? We can’t risk Illumi finding us here.”

Gon’s brow furrowed. “Are you sure there’s no other way?” he asked, tone pleading and expression hopeful. Killua’s heart twisted. He didn’t want to break that beautiful hope. But reality was harsh and cruel, and they had to acknowledge it if they were going to survive.

So Killua said gently, “None that I can think of.”

Gon’s expression shattered. He dropped his arms from around Killua, swallowing thickly. For a moment Killua almost thought he might cry.

But then Gon turned away, looking out towards the rough waves and hiding his face from Killua’s gaze. The two vampires stood there in silence for a few seconds with nothing but the sound of the roaring waves filling the space between them.

It broke Killua’s heart to see Gon so upset. Really, it did. He would give Gon the world if he asked. But if they didn’t leave, Gon wouldn’t have the world at all.

“We’ll find another home soon, I promise,” Killua said finally. When Gon didn’t say anything, Killua sighed. Gon being mad at him was understandable. He wouldn’t get over this for a long time, Killua was sure.

Killua took a step back, towards the woods and their hidden cabin. “I’m...gonna start packing, okay? We can only take what we can carry, so. We have to do an inventory check.”

Gon nodded. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Killua grimaced at Gon’s empty tone. “Okay. Don’t take too long, though. The sooner we leave the better.”

“Right.”

Killua couldn’t think of anything else to say. He wouldn’t be able to make Gon feel better, that was sure. So he turned on his heel and walked across the clearing back to the shadows of the woods. When he reached the edge of the forest, he looked back.

Gon was kneeling down in their dirt garden again, just like he had when Killua first came into the clearing. He was carefully touching a new plant that had burst through the hard soil, stroking its leaf with a gentleness that Killua could see even from here.

Killua swallowed thickly and disappeared into the woods. Their time of daydreaming was over. There was work to be done.

[theonewelshdragon]

85 Questions: Tag Game

Rules: Answer these 85 questions about yourself and tag 20 people

I was tagged by @garethito thank you ♥

Last:

Drink: tea

📱 Call: mother

Text Message: My colleague 

Song you listened to: somebody to love by queen

Time you 😢: the day before yesterday (it was sunday?), i felt so bad becuase of illness so i cried

Ever:

Dated someone twice: No

😘 someone and regretted it: No (never kissed at all)

Been cheated on: No

Lost someone special: Yes

Gotten drunk and thrown up: yep, unfortunatly. 

In the last year, have you:

Made new friends: Yes

Fallen out of 💛: Yes

😂 until you 😢: Yes

Found out someone was talking about you: ..dunno

Met someone who changed you: not really

Found out who your friends are: No

😘 someone on your Facebook friends list: No

General:

How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them

Do you have any pets: No

Do you want to change your name: No

What did you do for your last 🎂: Went to Moscow and watched UCL football games, best bday ever

What time did you wake up today: 10AM

What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping

What is something you can’t wait for: uhm..times when i’ll be able to travel

What are you listening to right now: Nothing

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No lol

Something that gets on your nerves: pretty much anything lmao

Most visited website: Tumblr

Hair color: i’m blond-ish but it’s not natural

Long or short hair: short

What do you like about yourself: i’m satisfied with the way i look, with my body and i like that

Want any piercings: Not really

Blood type: i don’t know :)

Nicknames: Paul

Relationship status: Single

Zodiac sign: Libra

Pronouns: She/her/they/them/he/his, anything is fine

Favorite 📺 show: Doctor Who

Tattoos: hemispheres of the earth near my collarbones and i want more

Right or left handed: Right

Ever had surgery: no

Piercings: No

Sports: can play volleyball

Dream Vacation: Australia and New Zealand

Trainers: what’s with them?

Eating: ? is important for living?

Drinking: Even more imoptant?

I’m about to watch: Chicago Med

Waiting for: something to change my life

Want: to watch bohemian rhapsody 1 million times more

Get married for: love of my life

Career: dunno

Hugs or kisses: hugs

👄 or eyes: eyes

Shorter or taller: doesn’t matter??

Older or younger: doesn’t matter

Nice arms or stomach: nice arms

Hookup or relationship: relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant: neither lmao but i guess, troublemaker

Have you ever:

😘 a stranger: No

Drank hard liquor: yes

Lost glasses: YES

Turned someone down: .. no, can’t remember

Sex on first date: No

Broken someone’s ❤️: if only the ones i don’t know

Had your 💔: not really

Been arrested: No

😢 when someone died: Yes

Fallen for a friend: yes..

Do you believe in:

Yourself: most of the times

Miracles: yes

💛 at first sight: Yes

😘 on the first date: depends

Angels: Maybe

Other:

Best friend’s name: Evgenia (Zhenya)

Eye color: grey-ish

Favorite Movie: i have so many... LoTR, Star Wars, Alexander..

Favorite actor: Jodie Whittaker one of favs

Favorite Food: steakes 

Extrovert or Introvert: introvert

Favorite flower: lavender

Favorite Hello🐈 characters: ..none

I tag anyone who want to do this 

[waterloou]

Hello I missed you

So this is a v v v v late bday present for Vannah @sweetpeas-sweetpea and it features her OCs and Queenie and I really hope I did them justice!

Queenie approached Mabel at lunch and sat down across from her before she took her bag out. Mabel stopped mid-chew, and gave the taller girl a questioning look.

“Um…” Queenie looked up after she had pulled out her sandwich.

“Oh, hey, whats up?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing?”

“Oh, well, you looked like you could use some company” the girl smiled and took a bite out of her sandwich. The two hadn’t really talked much since they got to high school.

“Oh! I do have another motive. I was wondering if you were free to hang around sometime this week, maybe after practice sometime?”

“Why?” Mabel gave her a wary look.

“Just because we haven’t talked in a while? Also Omi won’t go to the aquarium with me and I need someone to babble to.” her expression softened, “Also, I figured we could catch up.”

Mabel narrowed her eyes for a minute before sighing, “Yeah sure”

“Great! I’ll pick you up, say, tomorrow after practice?”

“Sure”

“Awesome!” Queenie took another big bite of her sandwich with a big smile.

==

After soccer practice that day, Maddox ran up to Queenie.

“Abrejo!” she turned around and smiled.

“Heya Harlow”

“You played good today” the boys and girls varsity teams played against each other in a scrimmage that day.

“You too. Glad you didn’t kick me in the face again”

“That was one time!”

“I know, just givin ya shit” she propped her ball on her hip, “Whatcha need?”

“Mabel said you asked her to hang out with you tomorrow?”

“And?”

“That was nice. She needs someone right now” Queenie shrugged and smiled.

“You coming over for dinner tonight? Atzi misses you”

“She does?”

“When is Maddox coming over? Are you hiding him from me? I need to see him and give him sweets. Is he eating enough?” she imitated her abuela’s voice with a giggle.

“That’s a good impression.”

“Thanks I’ve been working hard on it. You comin or not?”

“Yeah yeah” he shoved her lightly before heading to the locker room.

===========

The next day, after soccer and vixen practice, Queenie was waiting for Mabel, trying a few tricks with her ball, when it went flying and nearly hit the blond in the head.

“Sorry!”

Mabel went to pick up the ball and handed it back.

“Its ok. You said we were going to the aquarium?” Queenie’s face brightened.

“Yeah! I’m driving!” she took her hand and pulled her toward the parking lot.

“Fair warning, everyone has affectionately dubbed my car hot wheels”

“Hot Wheels? Why?”

“Oh you’ll see” a mischevious grin spread across the taller girl’s face. A grin Mabel remembered from when they were younger when Queenie was about to get into trouble.

“I don’t like that grin”

“You never did” when they got to the car, Mabel hesitantly hopped in.

“Buckle up”

“Queenie-SHIT!” Queenie peeled out of the school parking lot, Highway to Hell blasting through the speakers.

“WOOO!!!” she whooped, and drummed her hands on the steering wheel as the car sped down the road.

“WHY DO YOU DRIVE LIKE THIS?!” Mabel tried to yell over the loud music. Queenie just hummed in response.

Soon they pulled into the lot

“Here we are” the car screeched to a halt and Mabel immediately stumbled out of the car.

“Fuck” Queenie got out and knelt next to her.

“I did warn you.”

“You drive like that everywhere?!”

“Mostly, unless my abuela is in the car. Its fun, living life on the edge”

“I’m surprised you never got into an accident”

“Everyone says that” she patted the shorter girl on the back before helping her up and leading her to the sad excuse for a building.

“It looks a lot better on the inside, come on” the two entered and walked up to the desk with a plump woman with bright purple lips and grey hair pulled into a bun.

“Evening Marie!” Queenie let go of Mabel and leaned on the desk, “How are you this lovely today?” she winked. The woman smiled in response.

“Evening dearie, I’m fine. Who is this?”

“Mabel! She’s a good friend of mine. I wanted to show her around the place, that ok?” Marie smiled and nodded.

“Have fun you two!” the older lady gave the two a happy lil wave before going back to her work.

“Over here, this is the big tank” Queenie grabbed the other girl’s hand and pulled her over to a dark room, only lit from the light blue glow of the large tank.

“Woah” Mabel looked up in awe. The light filtered through the rippled water at the top beautifully, casting a textured shadow on the floor below. Bright green kelp littered the tank, as well as various other aquatic plants. Fish of various shapes and sizes swam throughout the large enclosure.

Queenie had sat herself in front of the tank, fingers splayed over the glass, staring in awe at a small little shark that swam up to the glass.

“Hello beauty” she greeted as the animal nuzzled the glass.

“Who’s this?” Mabel sat next to her.

“Her name is Guinevere. I named her myself” the taller girl leaned in closer to the glass.

“What kind of shark is that?”

“This lovely lady is a spiny dogfish. Usually bottom dwellers, females usually outsize the males. The way to tell a female from the male sex is that males have pelvic fins, while females don’t. Their lifespans are crazy long, usually up to 100 years. I believe they have one of the longest lifespans of any creature in the ocean, but don’t quote me on that” she paused, her smile turning somber, “Unfortunately their numbers have decreased due to overfishing and bycatch of these beauties.” Mabel gave her a confused look,” Bycatch is when there is extra catch in the net or trawl or line or whatever fishing method is being used. If it doesn’t match the size, gender, or species that they’re fishing for, it usually gets thrown back, or it gets thrown away as soon as they get to shore. It can destroy whole environments, and some people refuse to pull back on their way of fishing because it’ll take longer with more ethical fishing methods. They set a limit for fishing them but, unfortunately, it hasn’t really been enforced, so the shark still rests on the red list due to its late gestation period, as females don’t become sexually fertile until they reach 18-21 years old” she finished as the tiny shark glided away from the glass. After a minute, she turned to see Mabel looking at her, gobsmacked.

“Um”

“Sorry, sometimes I get carried away” she looked back at the glass, smiling as the dogfish swam back and bumped its nose against it.

“Calm down guinny” she giggled.

“You really like this stuff?”

“Yeah. It makes me happy. Gives me hope I can someday get out of here and then come back to fix up this place” she looked around, “it deserves it. I just hope lodge doesn’t get his sticky fingers on it” the two were silent for a moment.

“So, you said there were some exciting exhibits?” Queenie’s face instantly brightened.

“Yes!” She scrambled up,”The octopus and the prehistoric sections are my favorites” she leaned in close, “I also might have stolen some skeletons but what they don’t know is plaster won’t hurt them.” she giggled and pulled the other girl towards an archway covered in tentacles.

“Martha is a firecracker. She’s escaped so many times we’ve literally had to seal the top off. She’s still managed to get out even then. Lets see if she’s on the floor again.” they entered the enclosure, and low and behold, the octopus was crawling out of her tank.

“Stand back” Queenie grabbed a pair of long gloves from the stand, and put them on, before grabbing onto the creature.

“Come on baby, I know you need a bigger tank, we’re working on it I promise, you need to stay put a little bit longer” she cooed at the large tentacled creature as she slowly coaxed it back into the tank before securing it again.

“Do animals escape often?”

“Only martha”

“She’s beautiful” the shorter girl approached the tank and the octopus moved towards her.

“Yeah she is. Wish she didn’t try to eat the other fish though, we feed her a lot” Queenie sighed.

“I think she likes you” the octopus had made her way to Mabel.

“You think?!”

“Oh I know”

-

“You wanna look at the prehistoric section?”

“Sure?” Queenie grinned and pulled her over to the bones.

“Which ones did you stea-” she slapped a hand over Mabel’s mouth.

“Not so loud Mabes. Gotta keep this job” she let her go.

“But you see the small ones over there?” she whispered

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You can’t tell the difference” she smiled.

After an hour, Marie came in.

“Alright dears unfortunately I have to kick you out”

“Awwwww MarieeeE” Queenie whined.

“Sorry to ruin your fun but I did give you an extra half hour.” she winked and lead the two out.

“Thank you for today, that’s the most fun I’ve had in ages!” Mabel laughed as the two walked to Queenie’s car.

“I’m glad. It’s good to see you smile again”

“I smile!”

“And I drive slow all the time-no, I mean a real smile” Queenie poked the side of the shorter girl’s mouth, “Looks nice on you”

“Thanks” they got in.

“Are you going to drive fast?”

“Nah, I’ll go slow” the taller girl winked and pulled out of the lot, much slower than she had before.

“You’re actually a good driver?”

“Yeah” Queenie turned on the radio to a jazz station, “When I feel like it”

“I’ve missed you, Abrejo” Queenie spared a glance at the other girl.

“You flatter me”

“I have.”

“I guess I’ve missed you too” she laughed and they drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence.

[apexart-journal]

Tasha Dougé, Day 6  aka My BDAY!! Today I turn 40!!

May 26, 2021.  It was the last Super Moon of the year, a Blood Moon, the Flower Moon and a lunar eclipse.  This all happened before 8am EDT.  What a way to start off my 40th birthday.  40 years on the this earth and I have much to be grateful for and I appreciate all my blessings, including this fellowship.  Thank you God, Ancestors, Lwas and the Universe. 

Now for those who have been following or are just joining me on this journey, I want to acknowledge the lapse in posts.  Today is actually day 9 of my fellowship.  For all the bloggers and vloggers out there, I tip my hat to you all in sheer awe.  This is not easy to do consistently.  I knew that, but now I really KNOW.  I mean I am out here in these NYC streets and by the time I get back to the apt, the only thing I want to blog are the number of Zzz’s and snores coming out of me in the bed.  Nonetheless, I committed to sharing my journey and I want to.  So here we go.

It was a late start on the 26th and that was great because the BDay love was pouring in.  Since I can’t celebrate in person, I created a BDAY BINGO game and my friends were game.  The day/afternoon started with a good ole game of mini golf. I haven’t played since 2000.  So I’m coming into this with tons of rust.  PERIODT.  I was told that I would have some company.  Dhairya came to play with his cool shades in tow.  He is a student at NYU studying computer engineering.  My solution to any computer issue is Ctrl + Alt + Delete.  If that doesn’t work, then I can’t help ya.  That is the extent of my expertise.  Now, I will direct all questions to Dhairya.  Dhairya came to the states from India three months ago and it was a pleasure listening and learning about him.  Now, he said he never played mini golf.  However, that is not what the score card said. No need to focus on the numbers.  What’s important is that he didn’t let me win because it was my birthday and that we really enjoyed our time playing.  And if you have to know, yes he did win.  As per my photos (taken by Dhairya), you can see that I had a hard conversation with my ball trying to sort out the lack of communication and teamwork.  After his win, I introduce Dhairya to one of my favorite spots, NISH NUSH.  It is a Mediterranean vegetarian spot that I last visited in Summer of 2019.  It was perfect because he is vegetarian.  He loved the food.  My bday was off to a great spot.  Next off to Sunset Park, Brooklyn.

If you haven’t been to Sunset Park, you need to go immediately.  What a beautiful park.  The view was gorgeous.  I laid out and enjoyed my icee.  One of the pigeons wanted to give me a gift.  It showered me with some excrements.  Apparently, that is supposed to be a sign of good luck.  I will let you know later how true that is.  Until then, I proceeded to use some hand sanitizer to remove the “gift.”  My agenda for the day suggested some snacks.  I decided to try the red bean puff pastry from Jade Bakery (corner of 63rd & 8th) and the rice cake skewers from 369 BBQ (corner of 61st & 8th).  When I got to Jade’s and asked for the red bean pastry, they were exactly sure about what I was asking for.  However, they were super sweet and friendly.  They showed me something red and had beans, so I took it.  Next to 369 BBQ.  I almost missed it because I was looking for a brick and mortar.  Good thing my peripheral vision is still working.  I ordered one skewer to go.  I walked to the train to head over to Greenwood Cemetery for the last event for the day.

While waiting for the train, I cracked open the foil and started eating the rice cake skewer.  Wait for it... Hell the Freak Yes!!!  It was the bomb!  Ever order something and get mad that you only got one?  Well that was what I was feeling.  It was doughy goodness with a kick of spice.  I am SOLD and I will be back for sure.  

I made it to the cemetery with like 2 mins to spare.  There was a line and we waited for them to let us in.  I was the only Black person on the line, but I was going in to see what this was about.  To be honest, I was trying to see if this event could be rescheduled.  I mean a cemetery on my bday?!  I googled it and they only do the event once a month.  So as someone who is all about experiences and willingly accepted the nomination to be a part of this fellowship, I told myself to go for it.  They let us in and off we went.  You find out fairly quickly that the tour is self-guided.  As I enter the cemetery and take it all in, I am filled with questions.  Who came up with this idea?  Was the person buried in the pyramid mausoleum African/Black?  Why do people chose to occupy so much space even in death?  As I witnessed the entertainment, I wondered who is the entertainment for?  Were the deceased considered in those decisions?  As part of the event, folks had the option to enter into certain mausoleums.  For me, that led to more questions.  How were the mausoleums selected?  Did they ask the deceased permission?  At one point, I asked if there were people actually in them and I was told yes.  It is my bday and I don’t know the energy of the people deceased.  Thanks, but I will pass on that one.  

Oh yea. How could I almost forget?  Literally about 5 minutes after I entered the cemetery with the group, the grey clouds with all their rolling thunder came right on through.  Strong winds followed by stronger gusts of winds had the trees howling and the branches swaying frantically.  Shortly after, the rain came.  Pellets of water were hurled onto our bodies and my body for sure since I didn’t have an umbrella.  For me, that was the good Lord and ancestors saying you came, you saw and now you gotta go.  With that message, I got another message.  This time it was for the event folks saying that the event was canceled due to the rain.  My sister called with some happy birthday vibes and asked where I was.  I told her I was in a cemetery and she was like “on your birthday?”  I told her yea.  I was not surprised by her shock, but I flipped it for her real good.  Yes, it was my 40th birthday, but what would be a better reminder to live then to be among those who have passed. 

I choose to live with every breath I have until my very last.  This was a bomb birthday!!

Sidebar:  I will return to Greenwood because Basquiat is buried there and there is also an African burial ground called the Freedom Lots.