#he's passively suicidal because he thinks of himself as just having outlived his usefulness | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thatscarletflycatcher · 11 months ago

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If Percival and Nadine was to have a contemporary ya romance name (the typical of non-fantasy, non-myth retelling, non-spec novels, I mean), it would have to be something involving a metaphor of light.

That dark neo-noir radio drama starring David Morrissey (it IS really dark. The lengths I'll go to just hear the interpretative power of his voice. Anyways), called Don't Hold Back the Light keeps coming to mind again and again. The imagery of dawn and sunrise keeps coming to me, in part through the songs I feel fit the story in partial ways (Keane's Bend and Break, Rick Astley's Rise Up, James Blunt's Bonfire Heart, even the melody of Lionel Ritchie's Stuck on You), but also because it feels thematically pertinent.

Both find themselves in night, not only in the despair, and tiredness, and hurt and brokenness, but on the idea that they had their day in the Sun, as life is metaphorically a day, and that it is over, and yet they linger. BUT where they are at the beginning, the idea of a new day sounds scary. And exhausting. There's a sliver of hope deep, deep down, like a candle on a window in a faraway house in the middle of nowhere. But for the most part, they'd like to hold it back if they could. And yet that feels wrong to them.

#look I'm not saying the idea or the imagery aren't like... extremely common #but they feel fitting #have been thinking about this within the frame of It's a Beautiful Life #Nadine is a bit like Mary in the way that she had a dream and a goal and she was laser focused on achieving it #but in her case it all went wrong really fast so what now?#Unlike George Percival has no sense that he has done more damage than good #he was a good son! he made his parents happy! but they are dead #he was a good brother! but his sister is married well cared for and far away #as the heir of Avensley? well does that mean anything at this point? it was already a dying relic by the time his father inherited it #he thinks himself too broken in mind and body to be a good husband and father in the future #sure there's a death of his own professional dreams #but they aren't renunciations from his pov #the alternate good was such a clear direct personal duty that it isn't like there was an alternative for him #not to count the things prevented by things completely outside his control like war #he's passively suicidal because he thinks of himself as just having outlived his usefulness #so anyways it is all about new beginnings and therefore naturally about dawn and light #incidentally I have been obsessed ever since I watched The Lake House with the idea of Architecture being tied to light #and the concept of a LI that is an architect which is such an unexplored concept?#and I feel it is very interesting in terms of how precision and the mastery over force are crucial to i #but also the idea of the builder of home and shelter #unfortunately it has made me realize the unintended implication that James as an aviator destroys shelter #and Percival as an architect builds them #which cannot be helped at this point but is definitely not a sort of love triangle thing #James was essentially a good man in his time and place and not a bad husband for how long their marriage lasted

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