#he's not very empathetic and while he isn't an idiot he just. doesn't get stuff

[siriuslysatorusimping]

I just read your response to my ask and dude, I really like your reasoning for the open ending.

Hi, I’m Rai and imma trauma dump real quick if that’s chill.

I ended an engagement this year. It was a shaky engagement anyways, but I was in love and genuinely thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with this guy. And then he stole my credit card. He lied about a bunch of stuff related to money and illness. He lied to his friends about me- said I cheated on him, told people we were married and had a kid, stole money from other people.

I don’t expect an apology or reconciliation from him and at this point I want nothing to do with him. If he pulled a Gojo and showed back up begging to explain, I’d probably fight the urge to spit in his face and tell him to fuck off. And then I’d leave an never look back.

I’ve had relationships that had bad moments that I’d have given anything to try and work out, but if it wasn’t mutual than nothing was gonna come of it.

So your ending on this one resonated a hell of a lot. Rinko’s hesitation and closed off demeanor in the beginning hit a nerve that I’ve still been processing. So while part of me wants happy endings for these idiots always, I really really love this take. I keep saying how real your writing feels, and I think this and your OG works really showcase what a versatile fucking author you are, Kiko 💚

First of all, Rai, WOW. Just, wow. You are incredibly strong and I am so sorry you had to go through all of that.

I hate that you went through all of that because it's so incredibly fucked up.

ANOTHER RANT BELOW THE CUT BECAUSE I GUESS I'M IN A RANTING MOOD TODAY 🙃

I hate that, for the sake of the pain you went through, you were hurt so deeply that it was irreparable. I hate that you had to endure that pain.

Emotions, or really humans, are so complex and messy. We love so deeply, even when it's someone who doesn't deserve it, because that's just not how love and emotions work. They aren't logical. Our minds and hearts can't just look at someone we love and immediately flip a switch just because they hurt us. It's part of being human. It's part of living. So, I understand where you're coming from on all counts.

Something I also struggle with is the distinction between someone's actions versus who they are. A good person doing a bad thing and vice versa. My mind fights with itself because I am a very empathetic person. I can usually look at a situation from the other person's perspective and understand what led them there. BUT I still struggle with the idea of "you did a horrible thing, so you're now a horrible person." or "you did a good thing, so you must be a good person." because that just isn't true. People are not perfect. They make mistakes. They fuck up royally, and sometimes it's too much to be forgiven, and sometimes it isn't. But people are people. They're messy and damaged and beautiful and sometimes they're literally just assholes who don't deserve the time it would take to discard them (like your ex. Is it too soon for me to say that? He sounds like a pile of garbage, but I feel like that's more of an insult to the garbage)

I'm glad that you were able to get away, to get out, and I hope you're able to find a better happiness without that toxicity in your life 🩷

Thank you for sharing your perspective and experiences! I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day 💕💕😊