#he's kinda short & he wears glasses & he has dark curly hair & sleepy eyes & just slightly too much facial hair for me

[chimaericalanimal]

Twitches the threads of my web in the direction of the cute, possibly slightly older than me retail-working boy who i never seem to get a chance to actually have another conversation with (SIGH) but hasn't escaped me yet (he works at the same place)

[shitty-tf2-headcanons]

if requests are open! can i have hcs of each mercs ideal type for a s/o, like personality or looks wise, (if its matters to them!) im biased but i think medic, scout and sniper would really like a short partner for the feel and maybe aesthetic ansjsj

Scout-

This boy can’t be picky considering only a select few people would actually want to date him

Likes short dark brown hair, it feels and looks nicer to run his hand through

Can’t get enough of green eyes

Prefers shorter partners. Taller ones only bruise his ego

Likes slim thicc partners. Thick thighs and ass but still slim

Loves when his partners wear glasses

Wants someone who is assertive

A jokester. Someone who can help him pull pranks on Spy

Someone patient. He knows he’s a handful so he wants someone who can tolerate him at least

Definitely wants someone who is athletic or enjoys sports

Soldier-

Zhanna is the ideal

Really likes long wavy blonde hair. Especially if it can be braided

Can stare into a pair of gray eyes all day if he could

Wants a partner that just towers over him. Tall partners make him weak in the knees

Obviously prefers someone who’s muscular but also has some fat on them Zhanna

Any kind of obvious scars are gonna attract him to you. He equates them with you winning some type of battle

Wants to date someone who’s down for any kind of crazy shit

Please be an animal lover. He can’t date someone who dislikes his precious raccoons

Would like to date someone who’s super competitive and ready for any challenge

Wants someone who is very extroverted and loud. Someone who’s not afraid to announce their love for him

Pyro-

Is so lonely and desperate that they’ll date anyone to feel whole again

Really loves any kind of hair that’s been dyed a bright color

Amber eyes are so beautiful to them

Height doesn’t matter but prefers taller partners most of the time

Wants a chubby partner. They’re just so warm and soft to hold

Is drawn to people who have a pastel or pastel grunge aesthetic 

Just be a sweet and caring person. That’s all they want

Wants a non judgmental partner. They’re very insecure about their body so they only want a partner who won’t be repulsed by them

Someone who’s very affectionate is needed! Just wants to be showered in love

Wants someone with a sweet tooth so they can feed them their baked treats and goods

Demo-

He’s pretty easy to date since he believes in giving everyone a chance

Goes nuts over someone with curly red hair

Brown eyes are the best eyes to him

Likes shorter partners

Actually likes thin scrawny partners. Makes it easier to tease them

Did I mention that this man adores freckles?

Gonna want someone who’s energetic. Someone who can drink with him all night long and still have energy in the morning

Be compassionate. Really wants someone who really cares for him and the team

Loves a partner who’s easy to tease or embarrass 

Enjoys himself someone who is shown to be a little feisty

Heavy-

Medic is the ideal

Loves black hair that can be styled in different ways

Really likes the look of hazel eyes

Can’t really find anybody that is taller than him. So he prefers partners that are almost as tall as him

Actually prefers a plus size partner or a muscular one (why not both?)

Loves a good smile. Even if it is a maniacal one 

Definitely wants a partner who’s a bookworm or enjoys reading

Intelligent or clever partners are a must

Wants someone who is a survivor. Someone who has survived certain situations (whether they be physical or psychological)

Be a good listener. His English may be broken but he still enjoys talking to you about things

Engineer-

Just like Demo, he’s open to dating just about anyone

There’s something about short light brown hair that just appeals to him so much

Sucker for blue eyes

Wants a smaller partner since he’s already so insecure about his height

Oddly enough he wants a thin partner. Just so he can keep feeding them and watch them plump up (weird I know)

Dimples are the cutest thing to him

Definitely wants someone who’s just as or even more smarter than him. Keeps the conversations interesting 

Wants someone carefree and maybe just a bit naive. Someone who can help him relax more

Wants someone who loves being pampered. He just wants to take care of them

Most of all, he wants someone who’s kind to just about everyone

Medic-

Heavy is the ideal

Loves medium length red hair. Especially if it’s a bright shade of red

Enjoys how vibrant green eyes look

Prefers shorter partners (for the aesthetic!) but isn’t opposed to slightly taller lovers

Prefers someone who’s an absolute unit. Openly drools at the sight of muscle people Heavy 

Gotta like his doves. If they don’t, it’s not gonna work out with him

He enjoys shy partners. They’re so cute and that cuteness inspires a sadistic desire in him

Wants someone who is interested in his work. This would also mean they’re not too squeamish 

Oddly enough, he wants someone kinda clingy. Just so they could drag him away from work cause they’re feeling left out 

Just like Demo, he wants someone who’s easy to fluster and embarrass 

Sniper-

This boy doesn’t even know if he has a type

Really likes long dark brown hair. Especially if it reaches down to their butt (so super long in other words)

Dark brown eyes are just so radiant to him

Likes shorter partners. It feels nice to just lean down and kiss them

Chubby partners are a must! He likes to hold them and just use them as a pillow

Freckles are everything to him

Oh my god please be a animal lover

Wants someone who’s sleepy and chill. Someone who considers napping together a date

Someone who can respect his boundaries

Really wants a partner who’s not afraid to go feral sometimes

Spy-

This bitch is so damn picky about his partners

Adores medium length black hair that can be styled into updos

Blue eyes look so sweet to him

Wants a partner who’s almost as tall as him

Just like Scout, he loves himself some curvy partners

Just be Scout’s Ma and he’ll date you for a while

Demands that his partners know basic etiquette and manners. Just be classy

Prefers someone who’s not overly emotional or can process them well

Likes someone with a sharp wit. Someone who’s always ready with a comeback

Secretly though, he wants someone who can make him laugh during the worst of times

Miss Pauling-

She doesn’t have time to have a type

Loves medium length blonde hair. Wants to style it into a bun if she could

Hazel eyes are so rare and special to her

Doesn’t mind at all if her partner is slightly taller than her

Loves a bit of muscle on them and prefers if they were more slim than anything

Just wants someone who considers working with her a date

Wants someone who’s okay with being alone and on their own

Prefers someone who can crack stupid jokes that might make her crack a smile

Likes if their partner is just as hard working and dedicated as her 

Overall, just wants someone who’s gonna enjoy going to a gun show with her 

[sky-girls]

Look at me

So leaving aside the fact that it’s sad that i can barely keep up with the ficweek me myself decided to do here is day 5 finally!! and i hope you guys enjoy it!!

“im sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification just from staring at /them/  if i try hard enough”

It all starts with a kitty pic and of course  at that moment she doesn’t think much of it. She just sees the picture of one fat, grey kitty on her instagram search page and decides to go to the page of the person to see if maybe they have more pictures of kitties.

And flor.ph , photography student does have some pictures of kitties, some pretty cute and adorable ones, but mostly she has picture of people, lots and lots of attractive people. A particular guy calls her attention. Probably a model, he has to be a model, because he is the hottest guy she has ever seen in her whole life.

He is wearing a white dressing shirt, first few buttons undone and he is looking straight into the camera, his eyes are a deep dark brown and even through the screen of her phone they make heat pool into her lower stomach, his hair is curly and slightly messy and before she can even control it she has images of herself caressing it and pulling it. She sees the description and finds a hashtag #MByFlor. She taps on it instantly.

What she finds takes her breath away almost literally. There’s so, so many pictures of this guy and Luna crosses one leg over the other as she looks around, of course there’s no one, she is alone in her room sitting on her desk but somehow she still feels slightly exposed, like she could be catched doing something wrong any minute, not that there’s anything wrong with just looking at pictures of a guy. But the more she scrolls through the hashtag the more certain thoughts she wouldn’t want anyone else to know, slip into her mind.

She can’t say it’s her fault though, it’s obvious these pictures are made for this kind of reaction, the clothes the poses, the abs, the hands, she has no idea what it is with those hands, but they will be feeding her fantasies quite a while she is sure.

She sighs softly to her face as she  keeps going through the pictures, some of them are staged obviously, there’s no way the way this guy is lounging on a pool chair with his shorts and an opened button up shirt, his abs all noticeable and making Luna’s fingers tingle to touch them as he holds his sunglasses a little bit away from his eyes is not staged. But there are also some that are obviously candids, some that have him messy haired and looking sleepy and it’s such a 180 from the other pics but that still makes her feels things, things like wanting those lips he is biting as he is playing the guitar while wearing glasses and a sweater on hers and every inch of skin they might want to be in.

There’s nothing shameful on following the hashtag and the account, even if she feels kind of ashamed doing it, even if it might be about all that came before that. She just wants to see him again. He is nice to look at.

Why wouldn’t she?

⭐

She learns a few things about the guy the next few weeks as his pictures constantly pop up on her instagram. One, his full name is Matteo, he is cousin of the photographer, who is also super fucking hot by the way, he plays guitar, he seems to like space, he has a grey kitty called Lyra and none of these things help with the massive crush she has been developing on him lately.

It’s not actually a crush of course, she doesn’t know him but she has a pretty decent picture of him on her head and she can fill up the rest in whatever possible ways she likes, she can make him everything she wants him to be and mostly she wants to imagine him on her bed, she also very likes looking at him.

Matteo is very pretty, besides being hot as hell, he is pretty and just looking at him makes all kinds of feelings stir up inside of her body.

She ends up using one of his pictures as her phone’s home screen just because she like looking at him too much and not even Pedro’s incessant teasing will make her change it.

Overall she thinks she could be doing worse, she is not obsessed with him or anything, he is just some hot guy she can use to fill up her thoughts.

The only bad thing is that his account is private. And he hasn’t accepted her yet.

⭐

After vacations things take an unexpected turn, a very very unexpected turn that has her choking on her tea silently as Pedro pats her in the back softly and sends her a weird look.

“What happened?” He asks her when she is better but she doesn’t look at him, she can’t stop staring in front of her. Where fucking Matteo is, in a white button up shirt and black pants looking as hot as ever and maybe even more.

There’s something different about seeing him on real life, something different about the energy he gives off, about the way he makes the room feel. He calls everyone’s attention for one reason or other and he hasn’t even talked yet but she is sure everyone is staring at him and she has no idea how she will manage to breath in this class from now on. There’s no doubt here, Matteo is her T.A.

“Good morning.” He says and his deep voice sends shivers down Luna’s spine in ways she wasn’t ready for. She bites her lower lip and takes a deep shaky breath cause of all the stuff her brain could be doing right now it’s only going all those dreams, all those fantasies, all those moments where she imagined him, his hands, his lips and filling them with words said by him in this exact same voice. It’s even better and hotter than she imagined and she wasn’t ready for this.  “My name is Matteo Balsano and I will be your physics ta this semester.”

She stops paying attention to his voice lulling her softly as she keeps staring at the way his lips move as he talks Pedro kicks her under the table softly and she sends him a glare. He sends her a questioning look and she blushes more that she ever has, she slowly takes out her phone of her pockets praying Matteo doesn’t notice and unlocks it quickly and the laugh that comes out of Pedro calls everyone's attention. He turns into a cough soon enough that people get worried but she can see that Matteo doesn’t believe him.

“Are you okay?”He asks the guy and Pedro is seriously having  problems breathing so the wheezing sound that he makes when he tries to say he is okay doesn’t sound any convincing him. His eyes fix on Luna and there’s something weird about it but maybe it’s just because she is very not subtly holding her phone

Luna struggles to hide her phone, the last thing she needs right now is for him to want to look at it and find himself shirtless staring back at him.

The class goes fast, it goes the fastest any physics class Luna’s has ever had and the only thing she learnt of it is that she needs to get home as fast as possible and be alone.  But she still has classes after this one and more importantly she has Pedro at lunch trying to interrogate her.

“Why is he on your phone? Luna, please.” He asks for the third time and Luna sighs, he will tease her so much but who wouldn’t in his situation, this is honestly ridiculous.

“There’s this guy.” She mumbles. “This instagram guy.”

“An instagram guy you have a crush on?” He asks teasing before gasping. “Is he the instagram guy?”

“Of course he is.” She huffs and Pedro chokes on his sandwich laughing. Good. “And now he is teaching us physics.”

“This is great news.” Pedro exclaims still laughing and Luna looks at him like he is crazy. “Don’t you see it?”

“What I see here is that I am fucked.” She says annoyed and he nods.

“Not yet, but this is where I am getting, yes.” He tells her and she rolls her eyes. “This is your chance to get laid.”

“This is not my chance for anything, don’t be ridiculous.” She tells him and Pedro huffs.

“Why not?” He asks. “You are hot and you have the hots for him that’s perfect combo right there.”

“Oh, wow.” Luna starts trying to distract him. “You said I am hot this is the nicest thing you have ever said to me.”

“I can admit it sometimes.” He says simply. “But really, you have a once in a lifetime chance, you should use it.”

“What I should do is change my phone background.” She says with a sigh and he nods.

“Yeah, that too.”

⭐

After she gets home that night his phone buzzes with an instagram notification, someone is following her and the profile picture makes her trip over her feet and almost step on poor baby cassie. Matteo is smiling lazily at the camera from it. when she taps on the profile she sees that she can see all pictures.

She doesn’t mention this to Pedro this probably means nothing.

⭐

And it actually doesn’t, now she can see all of his pictures , all of his stories and she gets to have much more pics of him saved on her phone but also he barely ever pays attention to her except to ask her things when she is spacing out. Usually because she is staring at his arms.

It’s all normal and it’s obvious that for him she is not someone worthy of notice. Which is okay, she never expected anything else and she of course won’t do anything to change that no matter how much Pedro insists she should. He is just a crush, an impossible crush she kinda blogs about but that’s all of it.

She expects nothing of him, she is perfectly content with him just appearing on her dreams.

And apparently her gmail inbox too cause a few weeks into the semester she has a mail from him, a mail sent only to her. Which is weird on itself. The mail is short. Very short, only informing her that if she would like it she will be the person in charge to deal with class in physics subject but also kinda implying that she can’t really say no here. She sends a screenshot to Pedro of course and his answer is about what she expected.

Peter rabbit:

do it!!!1

do it do it do it do it

Me:

Are u crazy?? The last thing I need is to be alone with him

Peter rabbit:

That’s exactly what you need tho lol

come on we both know what goes through that mind of yours now you can actually have a chance to use that desk in the ways you would like

Me:

JESUS FUCK PEDRO YOU ARE NOT USEFUL

Peter rabbit:

I am very useful excuse you, just bc you don’t wanna follow my advice doesn’t mean its good advice

just say yes nothing has to happen (even if it totes will)

Luna bites her lower, lip, he is right nothing has to happen and this is good chance to stare more at him, to spend more time with him and even if she will end up all tense and stressed because she wants something she can’t have at least she will be close to him. Maybe this will be worth it.

She sends him an answer saying that she will do it and then opens her instagram profile, because she has issues, many, many issues. This will be awful but she will manage somehow.

⭐

It all goes better than expected he is nice and funny and interesting and she can hear him talk for hours but she manages to keep it in her pants and act like a decent human being around him no matter what. She is very proud of herself.

At least until one tuesday comes after a long weekend and she has to stay after class to discuss if they can change the date of the next quiz they have and all she has been able to see when her eyes close is that instastory from friday night where he is dancing with a girl pressed against him, his lips on her neck, his hand on her hips and the other under resting on her thigh under her dress. And that image usually leads her to imagine what would have happened if that girls was her, what would have happened if his hand went higher.

She is honestly the biggest mess and is in no state to be in a classroom alone with him but no one else will do it so it has to be her.

“Hi.” She says walking to his desk after everyone else has left and she ends up resting her hips against one of the table on the front because she can’t keep her legs from trembling just a little. He grins at her, authentic a little tired and a little lazy and she wants to pull him from his tie and kiss him. She needs to keep a safe distance because she has no idea what she will do if she doesn’t.

“Hi, what’s the problem now?” He says with a fake tired sigh and she shakes her head at him.

“Why do you always assume there is a problem?” She asks and his deep, soft chuckle, makes her take a deep breath.

“Because that’s all you come talk to me about.” He says raising an eyebrow as he rolls his sleeves up exposing the tattoos on one of his arm and Luna shifts uncomfortably at the sudden heat that takes over her body.

“Well, you are right.” She tries to say casual. “And I am sorry to ruin the amazing weekend you just had with these problems but the class was wondering if we could change friday’s quiz for next week.”

“Yeah, no problem, I do have one question though.” Matteo says and Luna nods looking at him but not really at his eyes, she wouldn’t handle that right now. “How do you know I had an amazing weekend.”

The teasing sparkle in his eyes fills her with anger and desire all in one blow and she needs to take a deep breath to calm down and hope her face doesn’t wanna match her red skirt right now.

“I just assumed.” She stutters and Matteo nods unbelieving. “I mean you look relaxed so I am guessing you had fun this weekend, let out some tensions.”

“Oh I did, not the ones I would have wanted but I did.” He says and Luna chokes on air when he says that, he probably doesn’t mean the same kind of tensions she is thinking of right now also maybe he does.

“That’s sad.” She manages to say. “At least you had fun.”

“I did.” Matteo says simply and Luna nods. “What did you do this weekend?”

“Not much.” She clears her throat.

“Didn’t you have fun?” He asks and she swallows hard, why does she feel like there is some other intention to these questions? “I thought maybe Pedro and you did something interesting these long weekend.”

“No, he went out with these girls he is seeing.” She clarifies for some reason. “And I stayed at home doing some reports I had to fix.”

He just nods and Luna has no idea if she can leave or no.

“I think I saw some of your stories on instagram.” He comments and Luna dies a little inside. “You are very responsible.”

“Yeah,that’s me.” She says nervously. “A responsible girl who has other class right now so she needs to go.”

She runs to the bathroom and skips her last class. She can’t believe what just happened and has no idea what it means, but she is dying.

⭐

After that she is kinda done with him, she can’t keep being like this around him, she can’t keep feeling like this. She needs to forget about him and what better way than to find some hot stranger in some bar get laid, leave their place in the morning and forget all about them too.

She needs a quick thing that will leave her satisfied for a while and won’t bring her any problems, so she puts on this tight black dress she has, the one pair of heels she owns, that one leather jacket and paints her lips red before she tells Pedro to meet her at the club and getting a taxi.

Pedro being Pedro gets excited about anything that involves alcohol and the chance to hook up with some hot girl so he throws himself into it right away. He lives closer than her so he gets there faster and when she arrives he already has two shots waiting for her.

Or maybe one was for him but she drinks both of those and that’s what matters.

She lets him post some pics of her on her instagram, she looks hot, she feels hot and she posts it just thinking once about what would Matteo thinks when he sees it before dragging Pedro to the dance floor and deciding to forget all about Balsano.

She manages mostly at least until she is back on the bar ordering more drinks and her phone vibrates so she takes it out and sees that she has a notification on instagram from mbalsaon.

She opens it fast and sees that he liked her pic and he actually send her a message. She takes deep breath, it’s probably going to be something nice or something teasing about her having fun now, it will be nothing important.

Her fingers still shake when she opens it.

mbalsaon:

do you have any idea just how hot you look?

She almost drops her phone when she reads it.

me:

sorry???

mbalsaon:

you look so good with that dress and the way you are dancing

me:

the way i’m dancing? what??

mbalsaon:

turn to your right, cucciola

She does as he says, ignoring the weird nickname and finds him sitting not far away from him on the bar, he is wearing a black shirt and dark jeans sipping on a glass of something she can’t recognize from him but he lifts it softly on her direction.

mbalsaon:

if you don’t want this i apologize the last thing i want is you make you feel uncomfortable

but i kinda feel like you do

so if I am right i am going out right now, i need some air, maybe you do too

She sees him down the contents of his glass and walk towards the doors much closer to him that to her, when he disappears from her sighs she takes a deep breath, texts Pedro and follows Matteo.

She definitely could use some fresh air right now too.