#he's been treated like a dog chew toy by the story long enough

[glitter-stained]

Training my jaw by chewing gum so that the next time the narrative hurts me I can bite it back (i think i can take at least one finger)

[comfy-whumpee]

Living Twin

Whumptober 2: Thermometer. Check out the rest of Northlight's story here.

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Stretched out on the bed in the observation room, Lachlan wondered why he felt like the building was a great dog with him a chew toy between its unforgiving jaws. Everything was white and metal, with the odd plastic practicality like the storage tubs for his clothes.

He lay half-curled on his side on the bed’s thin padding, not enough to keep the metal base from being uncomfortable even with his natural softness taking the edge off. It was also slightly too cold while shirtless, and he had to remain shirtless so that the footage would show his wound.

He was to take photographs of the area every half-hour and record any unusual sensation. He had to take his blood pressure and temperature hourly. He was rating the pain.

That was all normal. He’d been prepared for worse, but Dr Swindon kept her experiments simple, establishing a baseline for a section of early tests. This was the first test with a theoretically fatal wound, and the most important thing was the timing.

Growing up, he’d always known he would face death before his time. When Presley had his first palpitation and they’d taken him to hospital, Lachlan had gone too. Their mother couldn’t leave him alone at eight, and their father was at work. So he sat in the waiting room while they watched his twin brother’s heartbeat on a screen. Lachlan had gripped the chair with his small hands, trying not to think about his mother’s crying and trying even harder to erase the brief glimpses he’d had of his brother. The staff called him Presley to their faces, but he heard them saying ‘the patient’ to each other.

When the diagnosis came, his mother’s first question was, not his brother too?

The doctor had looked between Presley on the bed, with his round cheeks, dark curls, soft chin and flat nose. Then he’d looked at Lachlan, his mirror image in every way but for one fewer milk tooth. He said, "I’m afraid it’s very likely."

That was the day Lachlan learned there were things his body couldn’t do that other children could. Presley and Lachlan became the fragile crystalline visitors to their school, treated with watchful gentleness by all of the staff and suspicious caution by the other kids. He was discouraged from working hard in sports. He was soothed at the first sign of stress. At home, his parents stayed firm and loving, but caved at the slightest pushback. Presley hated it, and Lachlan hated it all the more for never having had any painful thrum of heartbeat to suggest he even needed to be treated that way.

Until university, anyway.

He sighed, sitting up on the bed. Lying here waiting for sleep was getting him nowhere. The past wouldn’t leave his head. He was here for Presley, and every throb of the wound in his chest reminded him of what else he had felt there. He was tired of feeling like his body couldn’t cope with living. He wanted freedom for them both.

He wanted a heart that worked, and they wouldn’t give him one, so he was here.

He got up, walking in a slow circle around the room. The observation room was small, bordered with one-way glass at the long sides, door at one of the short ends. There was hardly room for him to circle the bed. But he did, finding a rhythm with his steps that helped him drown the thoughts out.

This wasn’t what he’s expected when he’d studied to be a doctor, that was for sure. Looking for more knowledge about Presley’s condition was a motivator, not to mention that the condition was his as well, but the lack of answers drove him to tears. Then one of the junior doctors on his placement had told him about a secret research project…

His chest began to ache. Would he heal a heart attack if it happened? That was always the question. How long did it take to save him? Was the blood enough? Did he need more of it, to concentrate it, was there some way to mix it to be more effective? What exactly in the blood gave it the power to heal?

The questions chased him, drove him forwards. He left the observation room and went to see the body.

He froze in the corridor as footsteps drifted up from around the corner, and Lachlan hurriedly pulled back against the wall behind a shelving unit of gauze supplies. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone inside the lab overnight, unless one of the security guards had heard something. He waited for the figure to come into view.

It was Dr Swindon’s brother. He strode towards the exit and didn’t look around. How strange.

Maybe he wouldn’t go. He shouldn’t go. Not if there was someone else around. It wasn’t safe. He shouldn’t be out.

Lachlan sighed silently, and detoured to the bathroom instead, so when Caroline reviewed his movements in the morning, he had an excuse for being out.

It was miserable in this underground lab, being as much as test subject as an assistant, but ultimately… It was worth it to live. He was still young, and he had the elixir to stop other illnesses or wounds. He had time to enjoy his life after he saved it. Saved them both.

[shinidamachu]

I need some Inuyasha as a great father (more like DILF, amirite?) headcanons, can you help me out?

I'm here to serve!

• It isn’t until they’re happily married for at least one or two years that the possibility of children are brought up.

• At first, they took that time to relearn each other, enjoy their company and make the honeymoon phase last a little long. They did spend three years apart, after all. There’s so much time to make up for, so many catching up to do before they’d even think to throw a kid into the mix. Plus, being a modern woman, Kagome would know how to avoid pregnancy the best her new circumstances allowed and how important that time alone is for a newly-married couple.

• They never actually had the child talk because Kagome just assumed that’s where their relationship would naturally lead to, given her motherly tendencies and Inuyasha’s history of ultimately giving her everything she wants. For his part, Inuyasha knew she wanted to be a mother someday and he'd be lying if he said he never indulged the fantasy of fathering her children. However, he has serious trouble wrapping his mind around the idea that, in reality, Kagome would still be up for it if he were to be the father. He could never dare to ask of her more than she has already given him. Be that as it may, it was not a big deal because it was not a dealbreaker. Nothing was.

• But with time, Kagome would have noticed how good Inuyasha is with Hisui and the Mirsan twins. How his relationship with Shippo had developed from a sibling banter to a makeshift paternal relationship. How people like Shiori and Bunza would look up to him like he was some kind of movie hero. How every kid in the village seemed to adore him despite his grumpy demeanor.

• And Inuyasha would have noticed the way Kagome would look at him whenever he so much as interacted with a child, the way her smell would spike significantly.

• She, of course, was the one to make the first move, jumping him one night, after they had spend the whole day stuck with babysitting the Mirsan children and popping the question.

• Inuyasha was relutant. There was a part of him that was adamant on making her happy and even believed having babies would make him happy too. On the other hand, he was terrified. Terrified of how her body would react to childbirth, of if her spiritual powers would accept his demonic energy. But mostly, about what would happen once the baby was born. The last thing he wanted was for Kagome to go through everything his mother had to go through. Or for another kid to face the same prejudice he did. Besides, he grew up with no father figure whose steps he could follow. He didn’t know how to be a father.

• Kagome assures him that they won’t have a baby until they’re both ready and on the same page, that they have time and that Inuyasha will be a great father.

• Inuyasha believes her.

• Then it is him felling some type of way whenever he sees Kagome around kids. And something deep inside desperately wishes to find out what would their children look like, what would it be like to hold and take care of someone born from their love.

• Finally, he caves.

• Inuyasha wants a big family, considering how lonely his childhood was. Kagome finds it pivotal for their first-born to have a sibling, since she had Sota and their relationship was one of the most important things in her life. That’s why they’d have two children minimum, preferably a boy and a girl. However, giving how dangerous and uncomfortable childbirth can be, especially without the perks the modern era provides, I don’t think they’d have more than three.

• Naturally, Inuyasha relies on Miroku for advice and the latter is more helpful than not. Except for the times Inuyasha asks or says something that makes it way too easy for Miroku to mess with him. Like the time he told Inuyasha that if he doesn’t get Kagome whatever food she craves while pregnant, the baby will be born looking exactly like that food. And Inuyasha believed him.

• And if you thought Inuyasha was protective of Kagome before... oh boy! He’d be almost overbearing, but Kagome would see it as endearing. Most of the time. Sometimes, though, a woman has got to have her privacy. He also becomes more attentive, more gentle, sweeter.

• After their first child is born, Inuyasha gets a makeover of sorts. He’s always borrowing the Fire Rat to Kagome and the baby anyway, so he figured it’d be more practical to just pass the clothes on to them already and get something new for himself.

• It’s white.

• Inuyasha becomes taller, stronger. And often lets Kagome experiment with his hair with braids, top nots... and ponytails.

• Old Myoga is the first one to notice the resemblance. And it’s true. He’s the spitting image of Toga. Former enemies and allies often mistaken him for Toga and Kagome thinks the look on their (and Inuyasha’s) face is hilarious.

• Sesshoumaru does not care for it (I stole this one from @heavenin--hell).

• Inuyasha hates his human nights even more because now his vulnerability also means he might not be able to protect his family as he usually would (Together Changed by @goshinote and @lostinfantasyworlds inspired this one). Plus, the black hair and lack of dog ears confuses the baby, who cries and fusses for a good while until realizing it is, in fact, Inuyasha holding them (this one I saw in an adorable fanart I can’t find).

• But since he needs way less sleeping than humans and he spends the New Moons up anyway, Inuyasha gets a lot of quality time with their infant at night, which allows Kagome to actually get a good night sleep unless the baby is hungry.

• The Beads of Subjugation get dooled and chewed on. A lot.

• A little contest takes place between Kagome and Inuyasha about what the first word of their first child would be, with Kagome going for “dada” and Inuyasha going for “mama.”

• Kagome wins.

• Inuyasha’s fighting style changes. He still says some snarky remarks, but now it’s more to push his opponent‘s buttons down so they would get sloppy than anything else. After all, he has a child to think about and provide for now. He doesn’t have the luxury of gambling with his life anymore. He has a home to come back to and therefore won’t be taking any chances (credit to @born-for-eachother for this one).

• And so he becomes more lethal on the battle field. Pragmatic. Objective. Calculating. Decisive. Cold blooded. Much like... Sesshomaru.

• He had never been more offended on his life than the day Sango pointed this out to him.

• When the kids grow up a bit, Inuyasha and Kagome start to tell them bedtime stories, with the PG version of the story about how the met and defeated Naraku being their favorite.

• Kagome tries to be a reliable and calm narrator while Inuyasha exaggerates the events and the voices, almost always breaking objects of their house in the process.

• After hearing one too many times about the Beads of Subjugation, their child tries to “sit” Inuyasha. Of course it doesn’t work, but he still makes a big deal out of throwing himself on the ground every time they say the word just to hear them laugh.

• The first actual toy Inuyasha buys them is a ball, just like the one he had as a kid, at the same time accomplishing a childhood wish through them and ensuring that they would always have someone to play with.

• Kagome is more protective of their physical state while Inuyasha is more protective of their emotional one (see Fist Fight by @omgitscharlie)

• Inuyasha goes to Totosai and asks him to make a weapon out of one of his fangs to each of their children once they get old enough for it. Not necessarily a sword, just something of their choice and that better fits their personality.

• He would be a just father, doing his best to show no favoritism, treat his children equally and make sure no one felt overlooked or unloved.

• But truth be told, if one of their babies turn out to be a daughter, he would definitelly let her get away with almost anything, no matter how much of a gremlin she is. Daddy’s little girl would have him wrapped around her tiny fingers.

• Life never treated Inuyasha kindly. From a very young age, it was kill or be killed. It wouldn't be too far off for him to think the exact same thing could happen with his kids, therefore he tries to prepare them, to tough them up so they can take it.

• And I believe this sentiment would be significantly amplified with a son, because it would involve the whole “suck it up”, “men don’t cry” and “man of the house” aspect of it. The “it is your duty to protect your mother and sister when I’m gone” too, especially because he couldn’t protect Izayoi himself.

• It’s “tough love”, but it’s love nonetheless. And in the right dose, which I believe Inuyasha manages to nail, it can be very important for one’s development and growth.

• But it’s hard to imagine him being as tough with a daughter. Probably because he sees so much of Kagome on her that the mere idea of seeing her cry simply breaks him.

• Kagome would actually have to step in when it comes to disciplining and saying “no”, because he simply wouldn’t have it in him to do so.

There’s actually a really nice post by @keichanz I reblogged a while ago discussing precisely that, but I can’t find it to save my life (should I start to properly tag my reblogs? No, it’s a lot of work and I’m right not to).

Anyway, that’s all I got for now.

Peace out.

[asimpforarmin]

What Dog the AoT Characters Would Have 💛

Character(s): Armin Arlert, Sasha Braus, Jean Kirstein, Connie Springer, Bertholdt Hoover, & Annie Leonhardt

Genre: Light-hearted, modern!au

Warnings: Mentions of animal neglect/abuse, some dog breeds commonly perceived as scary, cursing

A/n: I usually include Mikasa in my headcanons, but I just forgot until last minute that she existed ;-; so, sorry for not including her. If someone requests it, I’ll add her to the list.

💛 Armin

His parents got him a beagle puppy for one of his birthdays and he got so attached to it. He was so grateful that he had a dog and absolutely treasures him.

Named him Buddy because he’s his little sidekick and is always fun to play with and snuggle up to.

Buddy almost never shuts up though. A bird flies past the window? He starts barking. A truck goes by? Goes bonkers. He sees himself in the mirror? Shooketh.

Whenever Buddy starts going crazy, Armin picks him up, takes him away from whatever’s bothering him and scratches behind his ears. That makes Buddy practically melt into Armin’s arms and it’s so adorable. 💕

Buddy is very protective over Armin, or as protective as a dog his size could be. He always barks at the doorbell and is very wary of strangers.

If you walk into Armin’s house and Buddy has never seen you before, Armin will be sitting in a chair holding a dog who’s glaring into your soul.

You and Armin will try to have a normal conversation while Buddy is snarling and growling at you with Armin just patting his head and making an expression that says he deals with this all the time.

After a couple visits, Buddy is still tense around you but unwinds once you start playing with him.

Whenever Armin’s studying or working, Buddy will jump up into his lap and snuggle with him.

Sometimes when Armin falls asleep at his desk, he’ll have his arms on the table and Buddy in his lap.

When he’s in the car, Buddy tries to bite cars through the window. He just growls and bangs the glass with his teeth before Armin stops him from chipping a tooth.

Just how Buddy is protective of Armin, Armin’s protective of Buddy.

If someone talks shit about his dog, he’ll get sad about it. Buddy doesn’t deserve to be treated like that, he never hurt anyone.

Buddy can’t be taken to the park because he just agitates other dogs. He never gets along with them and never lets his guard down.

Buddy’s also one of those dogs who gets really dramatic. One time he was laying on the couch with his ball and it rolled off so he just started howling.

It’s also really hard to trim his nails without him growling, even though he’d never bite anyone.

Once Buddy has calmed down around someone, he’s fun to just hang around.

Armin likes to sit on the couch reading with Buddy on his lap or beside him. He’s great to study with or have around.

💛 Sasha

Adopts a 5-year-old blue greyhound from her local shelter.

She’d been volunteering there for a while when the greyhound came in and just couldn’t resist.

With greyhounds being bred to hunt and Sasha coming from a family who has a hunting background, it seemed like a match made in heaven.

She bought her and gave her a bright pink collar with a little dog bone tag with her name etched in it.

Since greyhounds’ necks are so long, she gives her a big knitted scarf to wear in the winter to keep her all nice and cozy.

Was torn between naming her Snickerdoodle or Candy because they’re both cute names and are both foods, but ended up naming her Pumpkin because she couldn’t decide and Pumpkin’s a really cute name as well.

Sasha loves playing fetch with her and it’s so fun because Pumpkin can run really fast, really far.

Pumpkin almost never barks unless she’s having fun or there’s someone at the door.

Sasha’s bed is lofted by a couple feet for storage and Pumpkin has no problem getting on and off her bed.

The first time Pumpkin saw Sasha’s bed, she didn’t know what to do so just sat there looking up at Sasha. It took a couple minutes for her to realize Sasha patting the bed meant she could jump onto it.

Sasha allows her dog on any of the furniture so there’s short hairs all over the couch no matter what.

Pumpkin’s really kind and gentle around kids so Sasha can basically take her anywhere. She’s super well behaved but sometimes scares people because she jumps in excitement.

Sasha also shares her food with her dog all the time. Always packs extra whenever she goes somewhere so she can give some to Pumpkin.

If you moved in with Sasha, Pumpkin would take to you right away.

She would literally be so sweet and always make you happy all the time. 😭💕

Plays tug of war and fetch a lot with you.

If you’re working/eating at a desk, she’ll lean her head on your leg until you pet her or give her food, or both.

Overall, Pumpkin is so sweet and adorable. She will always cheer you up when you need it and always has enough energy to play.

💛 Jean

Adopted a pitbull who is now 6, but was brought into a fighting ring when he was 4.

He knew it would be a challenge to help an abused dog but wanted to give him a good home.

When he first saw him, he was covered in scars and missing part of his ear.

He named him Kane. He’s a beautiful deep reddish-brown color with a white belly.

From the first moment they met, there was a connection. Kane warmed up to Jean quite quickly for a dog who’s been through so much.

Jean took him home and slowly introduced him to lifestyle changes, like going for walks or taking baths.

He introduces him to other dogs too. Kane showed a little hostility in the beginning, but once he realized they weren’t threats he was fine being around them.

Jean pays top dollar for him. Any issue he has, he takes him to the vet and gets it fixed up. He also gets the best food for him because that’s what he deserves.

Kane loves going for car rides. Sometimes Jean will get in the car with him, no destination in mind, and just drive.

Jean rolls the window down and Kane pokes his head outside. His mouth opens and because of the wind going into it, he showers the window behind him in slobber.

Kane absolutely loves swimming. He’s quite good at it, but Jean still takes a lot of safety precautions, such as a life jacket or shallow water because pitbulls are known to be somewhat bad swimmers.

Every summer, Jean takes out a kiddie pool and lets Kane splash around in it.

He also really likes to turn on the hose or sprinkler and aim it at Kane. He jumps up to bite the water and they both have a great time.

It can be a problem though because when Jean’s trying to fill the pool up, Kane keeps batting the hose with his paw or trying to eat the water and Jean has to get him to relax.

Other than his little quirks, Kane’s a relatively chill dog. He’s alright with being dressed up in costumes or having to wear a cone.

Every halloween, Jean gets both of them a matching costume and they sit on the porch to give kids candy.

Jean also lets the kids pet Kane because over time, he gets very welcoming of people and other dogs he doesn’t know.

Long story short, Kane’s not the dog you want to protect your house, if someone broke in, he’d just start wagging his tail and not be able to tell what’s going on.

💛 Connie

Saw how cool Jean’s dog is and also wanted a badass and cool breed.

He ended up adopting a doberman pinscher.

Like Jean’s dog, she looks strong and intimidating.

Unlike Jean’s dog, she acts the complete opposite of how she looks.

She’s often quite jittery or seems scared. Whenever someone even remotely raises their voice, her ears go down and she lowers her head.

You and Connie often have to give her tons of pets and appreciation after shouting, whether it’s good or bad shouting.

She’s also a total cuddlebug. She loves to be on Connie’s lap 24/7 and sleeps right next to him, watching over him.

Because of her timid personality, Connie named her Lily. It’s a sweet and innocent sounding name. Even though he sought her out to be a “cool” dog, she’s super sweet and didn’t want to name her something that conflicted with who she really was.

One thing about Lily is she loves running. Connie likes to skateboard alongside her as she pulls him along. It’s not much effort for her because Connie’s lightweight and uses his feet a lot. Plus, the area they live is pretty flat, so they often do.

Lily has a hard time understanding what is and isn’t a toy. One time she nearly chewed off one of the sofa legs. Next time Connie sat on it, it snapped and then he figured out Lily was behind it.

After that, he trained her to know everything he puts in her basket is a toy, but everything else isn’t. Then, she used the basket as a toy.

She goes through toys lightning quick.

Every time you or Connie give her a new stuffed animal, it takes approximately .2 seconds for it to be torn to shreds.

Connie loves to take her to PetSmart and let her pick out toys in-store.

If she chooses a toy that means Connie won’t need to guess what she likes and what she doesn’t.

One time she chose one of those scented rope toys, but once Connie took the packaging off, she started acting weirdly.

Once he gave it to her, she started barking at it and whacking it with her paw.

Connie was super confused so he threw it and she chased after it like normal, but once she got close to it she started acting scared of it and barking.

It’s been like that ever since now so they just don’t play with that toy.

Lily doesn’t bark that often. She usually only barks from excitement or when she meets someone new.

She also doesn’t have the zoomies that much so she’s a really relaxed dog to hang with.

💛 Bertholdt

Bertholdt saw his neighbors packing their stuff in a van one day and leaving but saw they left their samoyed leashed up outside.

He wanted to hold out hope that they were just going out somewhere for a bit so waited the rest of the night but found the dog still chained up the next morning in the rain.

He was never close to his neighbors and didn’t want any confrontation so he went up and knocked on the door, checking if anyone was home.

No surprise, they weren’t so he cautiously made his way over to the dog.

It was so happy to see someone and started licking his hand right away.

He unchained the dog and led it into his house where he gave it a nice warm bath and some food.

While bathing her, he took off her collar, with the neighbor’s number and address engraved in it along with her name, Mavis.

While Mavis was eating he called the number he found on her tag. He explained that the dog looked like it was left there on purpose so he took it in until they got home. They just said they didn’t want her anymore and hung up, which broke Bertholdt’s heart.

So he took her to the vet, got some pet things because he hasn’t owned a pet previously and she became a big part of his life.

She clings to him everywhere and won’t ever leave his side. Almost never barks and is super good on a leash.

Bertholdt takes her to the dog park a lot, Mavis is very social and has made a lot of friends there.

Mavis has quite the habit of rolling around in the mud or dirt though so Bertholdt has to give her a bath quite often.

Bertholdt absolutely cannot contain the dog hair. There is so much of it and it’s everywhere, went through like 3 lint rollers in the first week.

He spoils her rotten. Whenever he goes shopping he gets her new treats and toys because he swore to do right by her when her old owners didn’t.

If you were brought into the equation, Mavis would love you unconditionally. She’ll be there to give you high-fives and cuddle with you.

She is the softest thing on the planet so the cuddles are amazing. If you and Bertholdt sleep together, she’ll plop herself right in between the both of you so she could get attention until you fall asleep.

Whenever she needs something but isn’t up, she licks your face until you give her what she wants.

Even though she can get quite hot in the summer, she always wants to cuddle and loves to do it, whether it’s with you or Bertholdt.

💛 Annie (normally I don’t write for her but I couldn’t get this scenario out of my head)

Hitch gave her a chihuahua for her birthday even though she never remotely hinted at wanting a dog.

She didn’t want to return it though and oddly liked it, even though she never asked for him.

Just calls him “Dog” for a bit since she doesn’t know what to name him.

He’s a tan deer head dog so Annie gives him the name “Biscuit” after a couple weeks.

It’s super generic but she doesn’t think he needs any fancy name and he looks like a biscuit so 🤷🏻‍♀️

She has one of the backpacks with a compartment to fit a dog.

She likes to put Biscuit in there and take him out when she goes out.

When Annie takes him out, Biscuit is usually pretty chill, aside from giving a couple glares to random people.

Sometimes he even falls asleep in her backpack.

Whenever someone pisses Annie off, Biscuit senses it. Annie isn’t usually one to get into a full-blow fight and be loud, so Biscuit is her volume. Whenever she starts going off, he starts growling and barking.

And when she does get loud, both of them are yelling and screaming so that often deters the other person.

When she first got Biscuit, Annie didn’t really pay that much attention to him. She’d be on the couch and whenever he came up to her with a ball or toy, she’d throw it.

Then as she started to get used to him, she started to like him more.

Nowadays, she sometimes chases him around the house with a smile on her face and it’s so adorable, especially because she doesn’t smile all too often.

Biscuit is relatively calm, even for a chihuahua. He can often be seen on the couch on his back with his tongue out laying in the sun.

Speaking of being on the couch, originally Annie wanted to keep him off all furniture but soon realized he simply wouldn’t stay off and she didn’t want to bother to train him not to.

Now, they share almost everything. She sleeps with him next to her, they relax on the couch together, and sometimes she even brings him up on one of the kitchen chairs and they share food together.

Biscuit hates her alarm clock with a passion. If Annie doesn’t wake up from the alarm, she wakes up from the high pitched barks of her dog wanting her to turn it off.

Once the two are close, they are bonded for life and can be seen everywhere together.

[n00dl3gal]

Like Old Times (Father-Son Bonding AU)

A direct sequel to the “Expiration Date” fic, which I’ll link in a reblog. I’ve also posted all my fics in this AU to AO3!! Thanks again to @thetriggeredhappy for their help and just generally being a cool dude, and the Scoutsune Discord server for indulging my brainrot

No warnings beyond family schmoop!

Less than an hour after the bread monster incident, the Administrator called for a ceasefire. “Only while your base is repaired,” she said over the TV screen. “BLU is quite disappointed in this negligence- as am I. Regardless, you may use these three days as you see fit. Go home, stay here- whatever you do, no more bread monsters.” The screen turned off with a click. 

Scout exhaled through his nose. He was thankful there was no mention of him or Miss Pauling’s woodchipper. 

Spy decloaked behind him. “Less time than I wanted, but c’est la vie.” Scout looked at him over his shoulder. “I’m meeting with an old contact during our break,” Spy said in Italian. “Would you like to come along? It’ll be like old times.” 

Scout’s brow furrowed, but he nodded. At least this way, he’d get out of helping Engie and Heavy with repairs. And possibly meeting Miss Pauling’s woodchipper. 

“Excellent. Our flight is at 7 AM tomorrow.” 

“We’re flying commercial?” Scout asked, also in (more hesitant) Italian. 

“Our destination is continental. We’ll leave the base by 5:30.” Scout groaned as Spy started to leave. But- wait, he hadn’t- 

“Oi, where are we going, anyway?” he called back in English. 

Spy paused to look at him and smile. “Boston.” 

“Why do we always get the ass-crack-of-dawn flights?” Jeremy asked groggily, reclining his seat.

“They are the ones with first-class seats available,” Raphael replied. He took a sip from his mimosa. 

“Yeah, cuz God forbid you fly coach for once.” Jeremy shifted, trying to get comfortable. “Hey. Have I ever been to Boston before?”

Raphael didn’t answer immediately. His lip sucked in, as if in thought. “Yes. When you were very, very young. You wouldn’t remember.” 

Jeremy nodded. He wanted to ask more, there was something Raphael wasn’t saying but… well, he was never a morning person. He fell asleep before the plane even took off. 

. . .

It was mid-afternoon by the time they landed in Boston. Jeremy was never fond of long flights; having his legs cramped like that for extended periods of time was murder. He was half tempted to take a jog around Logan International. Raphael, on the other hand, was ushering them both to the car rental. “Can’t even get a stretch in, huh?”

“Unfortunately, we are expected by 4, and I would hate to keep my contact waiting,” Raphael explained in French, accepting the keys from the girl at the counter. “She’s not a very patient woman, in some regards.” 

Jeremy huffed but didn’t argue. He just followed his father to the rental, tossing his suitcase in the backseat. “Y’know, the girl at the counter-” 

“We will not have time for you to go out on a date, Jeremy.” 

“No! No, it was- her accent’s kinda like mine, it’s weird,” Jeremy said. Raphael started the car. “Cuz I’ve only been here as a baby, and I got mine from TV and shit. It’s just… really strange, is all.” 

Raphael made a quiet noise of agreement. “Some of the shows you watched as a child were filmed here. It’s not as complex as you think it is.” 

“Yeah, probably not…” 

The pair lapsed into silence as Raphael drove. Storefronts and high rises morphed into houses. It had been a while since they were in a residential area. RED, for understandable reasons, kept away from civilians. 

Raphael took the roads with practiced experience. Sure, it had been implied he knew the area. If he had a contact here- one with a house, presumably- he must’ve spent time here. But this- this was far too familiar. A bit suspicious, actually. 

Eventually, Raphael slowed in front of a more rundown Brownstone. Still quite nice, just needed a little work. It felt… welcoming, in a way Jeremy couldn’t name.

“Lotta cars,” he observed as Raphael parallel parked. “Must be a party going on somewhere.” 

“Hmm, perhaps,” Raphael said, turning the car off. “Would you mind ringing the doorbell for me? I need to grab something from the trunk. Ask for Sara Jane.” 

OK, now Jeremy knew something was up. He was never the one to make the first contact, that was always Dad’s job. Jeremy might be a full-grown adult, but there were some things that didn’t change. This was one of them. 

Still, he nodded. He climbed up the front steps and ringed the doorbell. He heard- multiple voices from inside, predominantly male, but they quickly silenced themselves. A TV, perhaps? They really ought to get that flower box on the second story window fixed- 

The woman who opened the door was a bit shorter than him, though not by much. She was wearing a simple dress, hoop earrings, and flats. Her hair was dark, curved to her chin. But her nose and earlobes felt… achingly familiar. Like Jeremy saw them all the time. 

“Um, hi, I’m looking for Sara Jane? My name’s-” The rest of his speech was knocked out of him as the woman launched herself at him. Jeremy braced for an attack, but quickly realized she was… hugging him. 

She was hugging him, sobbing, and choked out the word “Jeremy.” 

Wait. He knew that voice. He had only heard it a few times in his life, few enough he could count them on one hand, but he knew it. “M-Ma?” he whispered. 

The woman- Sara Jane- Ma looked up at him, still crying. Her hands found his face as she observed him. “Y-yeah, sweetie, it’s me, it’s-it’s your ma,” she said. 

“Ma!” he laughed, tears of his own dancing down his cheeks. He hugged her back, practically lifting her off her feet. “Oh my God, Ma! I-I never thought I’d-” 

“Oh Jeremy, sweetie, look how tall you’ve gotten! Last I saw you, you fit in my arms! My baby, my handsome baby,” she spoke over him. She rubbed circles into his back as they embraced. It felt so, so right. 

Jeremy laughed even harder. “Are you kiddin’? I got it from you, you’re beautiful, Ma!” He stared at her, trying to commit every mole and wrinkle and perfect flaw to memory. “I can’t believe- oh my God, I’m actually meeting you!” 

“It was long overdue,” another voice said, as Raphael joined them on the front stoop. “I had put it off for safety reasons, but considering our current, ah, situation… I felt it was worth the risk.” 

Sara Jane squealed, pulling Raphael into the hug as well. “You’ve been taking good care of my boy, you promise me, Raphael?” 

“Don’t worry Ma, he’s the best dad I could ask for, considering,” Jeremy teased. 

“Oh, don’t I know it. Called me up last night and told me to get the whole motley crew together. Even managed to get Melvin to bring his twin daughters, bless his wife’s heart,” she explained. 

Jeremy blinked. “Uh- Melvin? Daughters?”

Sara Jane laughed. It sounded so much like Jeremy’s it practically hurt. This was his mother. Lord, he’s finally seeing her. “Melvin’s your older brother, sweetie. Eh, sixth oldest. Bobby’s the oldest.” 

“I have a brother?”

“Oh honey, you’re the youngest of eight,” Sara Jane said plainly. 

“...fuck,” Jeremy whispered. 

. . .

He didn’t just have seven brothers. He had seven brothers, four of which brought their wives, one who brought his boyfriend, and three who brought their kids. And the kids totaled to an additional six, counting the babies. 

It was… an admittedly tight squeeze in the living room. 

Sara Jane introduced Jeremy. Jeremy had been expecting to be treated like a stranger. He had vanished when he was a baby, after all, and his younger-older brothers probably wouldn’t remember him at all. 

And yet, it was like he knew them all his life. 

They teased him and punched him playfully and acted so friendly, so familial it nearly made Jeremy break down. He was still crying from meeting Ma, but being dogpiled with so much affection was suffocating. In a good way. He had seen on sitcoms the intrinsic bond between family, and while he felt it with Dad, they also risked their lives nearly daily. But it was real, it was here, and it was wrapping him in a warm blanket. 

Despite the chaos and the sheer number of people, Jeremy didn’t feel overwhelmed. He laughed and played along with their jokes, cracking some back when he could get a word in. Scott ragged on his dog tags, he countered by pointing out the hole in his pants. Michael told him he was still a shortass, he replied with “it takes one to know one.” Elliot and Ricky were the closest to actually getting hurt, and that was only because Jeremy elbowed them both so hard they nearly fell over. 

For the first time in 25 years, Jeremy understood what “home” meant. 

The kids were especially curious, eager to meet their uncle and step-grandfather. Within seconds, young Rebecca- only four years old- was challenging Jeremy to a race around the house. “I’m the fastest kid in the world,” she bragged, puffing out her chest. 

“Oh yeah?” Jeremy asked. “That a fact?”

“You wanna test me? I beat Johnny Three-Legs at running, and he’s got three legs!” Jeremy laughed and stood from the couch, letting her lead him outside. “On the count of three, OK?”

“You’re on, pipsqueak,” Jeremy teased.

“Onetwothree GO!” Rebecca yelled, taking off in a sprint. Jeremy knew that, by all accounts, he should beat her. His legs were longer, she didn’t have the proper running stance, and it was his job to be fast. That’s what he got paid to do. But some small voice was telling him to let her win, so he did. “Ha! I told ya!” 

“Ya sure did,” he replied, mock panting. “Look at you, a freaking blur on the green. You’re goin’ to the Olympics, kid.” 

Rebecca beamed and hugged his leg. “Promise, Uncle Jeremy?” He nodded because, after that display, there was no way he could speak without squeaking like a chew toy. 

Rebecca skipped back inside, past Raphael, who was watching on the stoop. “You’re a natural with children,” he observed. “I used to do the same thing when you were that age.” 

“Wait- wait, really? You sure fooled me,” Jeremy said. 

Raphael rolled his eyes. “What’s my job again, mon lapin?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Jeremy leaned against the railing, watching Raphael’s cigarette smoke in the wind. “Hey. Uh… thanks for arranging all of this. You really didn’t need to.”

“But I did. I meant it when I said this was overdue. I’ve been wanting to introduce you to the rest of the family for a while, but have been unable. Then that whole ordeal with the supposed tumors, and-” Raphael exhaled slowly. “It wouldn’t have been fair to you if you died without knowing them. I would’ve never forgiven myself.” 

Jeremy punched his shoulder lightly. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, pops. It all worked out, we’re still kicking, and that roast chicken Ma’s making smells incredible. Everything’s perfect.” 

Raphael finished his cigarette and smiled. “Oui. It is.” 

. . .

While Sara Jane had been able to get the rest of the family here, it was a school night. Kids needed to be tucked in by 9:30, so most of Jeremy’s brothers were gone by 8. Elliot was staying overnight, as was his boyfriend. Otherwise, the house quickly went from bustling to barren. 

It gave Jeremy a chance to explore his would-be childhood home.

He made his way upstairs, pushing open one of the doors. It led- to little surprise- to a bedroom. It was set up like a nursery, with a crib in one corner and a toddler bed in the other. Toys were scattered about across the floor. 

He heard Sara Jane sigh behind him. “This was your room, you know.” Jeremy turned to look at her as she flipped the light switch. “That crib… I had put you to bed the night your father planned to fake his death. I was in on the whole plan, naturally. He wanted to hold you one last time, so I said OK. When I woke up the next morning… you were both gone.” She exhaled slowly, grabbing onto his shoulder. “I wrote both of you off as dead, but I knew what had happened. Honestly, should’ve figured it out before then. You hadn’t woken me up crying,” she joked. Her eyes were watering. 

Jeremy hugged her, pulling her close. “You never took the crib down?” 

“By the time I was ready, Bobby’s wife was pregnant, so I kept it up for my grandbabies. I knew- I knew you were out there, sweetie. Both of you.” She kissed his cheek, squeezing him.

“I-I never got to be a normal kid, really,” he confessed. “I mean, Dad did his best, gave me comic books and board games and stuff, but-but I never went to school or made friends or anything like that. I-I didn’t even know I had a family. It took me forever to even realize I had a Ma. An-and everything I did-” The tears were flowing again, more freely than earlier. “Ya missed me losing my first tooth, and potty trainin’, and all that stuff parents should know about. I-I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

Sara Jane wiped his cheek dry. “Don’t apologize for what your father did, Jeremy. And definitely don’t apologize for me not potty training another kid. Besides… hold on, I’ll be right back.” She made her way down the hallway. Jeremy didn’t follow, instead deciding to examine the crib. This was where he grew up. It was a simple crib, obviously well-used. Not worn-down, mind, just… used. It had a history. A history that Jeremy wanted to decode, but unlike his dad’s ciphers, he didn’t have the key. 

“Took me a second to find it,” Sara Jane said. She handed him what appeared to be a scrapbook. “Raphael- he wrote when he can. Taught me some basic codes, would send out letters whenever you’d leave a town. Never left a return address, but…” Jeremy flipped through the pages, moving to sit on the small bed. The letters were all coded but appeared to be about how much Raphael missed Sara Jane. Updates on Jeremy’s growth. Letters from a father to his lover and son’s mother. 

One page jumped out to him, though. “I remember this,” he said, running his fingers against the paper. It was a simple drawing of a young boy, holding a catcher’s mitt, and a taller man next to him. “I drew this after Dad took me to my first baseball game, for my eighth birthday. I thought I lost the drawing after we skipped town, but- he sent them to you?”

Sara Jane nodded. “And I kept them all. Oh, honey, the day I first heard your voice on the phone- Mikey can tell you, I damn near fell over. You sounded so happy, and even if I couldn’t see you, that’s all a mother wants.” Jeremy leaned against her and she shut the book. “That’s all a mother wants, sweetie. To see her kids be safe and happy.” 

“I am, Ma,” he assured her. “I promise.” 

They sat like that for a while, with Sara Jane commenting on various letters and drawings in the scrapbook. Apparently, Raphael sent her money when he could- more frequently now that Mann Co. paid so well. She also had a rough idea of their current occupations. “I figure, if you and your father are working for the same company- with his skills, there’s gotta be a whole lot of nonsense going on out in that desert.” Jeremy laughed at that because she wasn’t wrong. “But I also figure since he raised you right, he’ll keep the both of you safe.” 

“I keep him safe too, don’t worry,” Jeremy added. “Uh- listen, it’s touching and all you kept the crib, but I don’t have to sleep in it, right?” 

They both had a good chuckle over that. Their laughs were in perfect harmony. 

. . .

The next two days were a mix of learning the family history and exploring Boston. It was the offseason, so there weren’t any games going on at Fenway, but Jeremy still got a picture in front of the park. Sara Jane took the pair to a restaurant that served “the best damn clam chowder in the contiguous United States.” Which, incidentally, led them to discover Jeremy was allergic to clams. Thankfully they didn’t have to go to the hospital- he just sort of immediately got sick before it passed- but it did suck.

It was damn good chowder, though. 

They went down to the harbor where the Boston Tea Party happened. It was crowded with people, resulting in them not staying long. Jeremy was a bit better with crowds than Raphael, but neither was great with them. Came with the job. Getting overpriced memorabilia from a nearby gift shop, though, went over much more smoothly. 

When not out on the town, Sara Jane dug out more scrapbooks and photo albums, catching Raphael up on what his stepsons had been up to. She showed Jeremy pictures from Ricky’s first school play to Scott opening up his butcher shop. Graduation pictures, wedding pictures, baby pictures- it was all there, and Jeremy devoured it. He wanted to know these people. He wanted to know his family. And he did. He learned about Michael’s stint in the Navy, Melvin meeting his wife, how Bobby’s son could dribble a basketball for twenty minutes straight. He learned about how his parents met. How Raphael loved each of Sara Jane’s children, even if they weren’t biologically his. How Jeremy wasn’t planned- few of the kids were - but they were both so, so happy to realize he was coming. 

He also learned that, while diner food would remain the undisputed king, homemade meatloaf came pretty close. 

. . .

The only problem came when it was time to leave. It wasn’t that Jeremy didn’t want to return to work, or leave his Ma behind. Sara Jane wasn’t even torn up over losing her son and lover again. It just felt like there was so much left to say, to do. There was uncertainty as to when they’d be able to return. “We get time off for Smissmas, I know that’s months away but I’ll be here, I promise,” Jeremy swore, hugging Sara Jane for the eighth time. 

“You better,” she said, squeezing him tightly. “You have 25 years worth of gifts to catch up on, not to mention birthday gifts-”

“Ma, you don’t have to go that far,” he whined. He was touched, sure, but the thought of that much luggage was truly frightening. Oh God, he was going to have to get gifts for everybody, wasn’t he? What do kids even want for Smissmas? 

“Hush, let me spoil my baby,” Sara Jane told him, kissing his cheek. “Oh, Jeremy…” 

Jeremy nodded. “I know, but I’ll call. I’ll write, too. Send pictures if I can.” 

“I’ll make sure he does,” Raphael assured her. Sara Jane stood to kiss his lips, with Jeremy looking away pointedly. “You have my word, ma petite chou-fleur.” 

“Alright, alright- now get going, I don’t want you two missing your flight. That boss of yours sounds like she’ll tear you both a new one if you’re late,” Sara Jane said, shooing them away. “Love you boys!” 

“I love you too, Ma!” Jeremy shouted back, for the very first time. 

The drive back to the airport was quiet. Jeremy stared out the window, watching his hometown- he had a hometown- pass by. “Hey, dad?” he asked, still looking outside. Raphael grunted to acknowledge he was listening. “One of these days, our contracts with Mann Co. are gonna expire. We’re gonna have to find new jobs.” 

“Yes, that’s correct,” Raphael said. He tapped a rhythm against the steering wheel. 

“And-and I was thinking when that time comes… maybe we could come back to Boston. Find some gigs out here,” Jeremy suggested. 

Raphael sighed. “Unfortunately, being a spy means that you don’t have the option of retiring, Jeremy. Not until you’re unable to complete your job. At that point, though, you’ve probably died a dozen times over,” he explained. “Even if I could retire, settling down somewhere so close to people I care about- I would still have enemies.” 

“Right. ‘Course,” Jeremy said. “It’s OK.” 

“That being said,” Raphael continued, “you have the luxury of youth and not being tied down to such a career. If you want to find a job in Boston after we finish with RED, there’s nothing stopping you.” 

“But people will still be after me, since I’m your son. And you wouldn’t be around.”

“Every child leaves their parents someday. And you’re strong, Jeremy. You can protect yourself and your family.” Raphael smiled. “I don’t believe Sara Jane needs much protecting, but I do worry.” 

Jeremy laughed. “I mean, did ya see the muscles on Scott and Michael? Guys can probably bench press a tractor!” 

They both chuckled before settling into quietude. Eventually, though, Jeremy had to break the silence. His voice was barely above a whisper. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, mon lapin.”

“...so your nickname for Ma is fucking ‘little cauliflower?’ What the hell, Dad?” 

[clumsyclifford]

I came across a list of "ridiculous sentence starters" that I decided were actually too ridiculous to use as prompts but there was one that had malum potential: "so I may have accidentally adopted 5 kittens"

absolutely inspired as usual, meghna

read it here on ao3

-

Michael’s text says NO BIG DEAL BUT CALL ME WHEN YOU CAN!!! X and the kiss is capitalized, so Calum decides it’s at least a little bit of a big deal and calls.

The first call goes to voicemail. Calum likes leaving annoying voicemails for Michael, so when the beep sounds, he says, “Mike, you absolute fucker, why should I call you if you’re just going to send me to voicemail? Do you love me or not? Am I going to have to break up with you? Is this the end? ‘Cause it feels like the end to me, Mike. Also, I’ll be home in about five—”

“Hello?”

“Hey,” Calum says, rolling his eyes and smiling. “You interrupted my cute voicemail I was leaving you.”

“Oh, cool,” Michael says, obviously having heard nothing of what Calum just said. “So, listen, you’re on your way home, right?”

“Yeah, I was saying I’m like five minutes away.”

“Brilliant,” Michael says. “Great. Um, well, before you get here there’s, uh, something that…has happened in the house. There’s a new addition that was not there before. That you should probably know about.”

“Did you buy another monitor? You don’t need more than two, Michael, honestly.”

“No, nope, not a monitor.” Michael mutters something that sounds like I wish and then he’s back on the line. “Look, don’t freak out, okay? There’s a perfectly decent explanation. I swear.”

It’s not that Calum doesn’t trust Michael, he does, but whenever the words “don’t freak out” come into play, there’s a small part of Calum that immediately begins freaking out.

“Okay?” he says hesitantly, slowing to a stop at a red light. “Well, you better tell me quick, because I’m about to turn into the neighborhood, so…”

“So,” Michael says, picking up the thread. He clears his throat. “So I may have accidentally adopted five kittens.”

At which point Calum really has to wonder how this became his life.

He blinks as the light turns green and makes the left into their neighborhood. “I’m really not sure which part of that sentence to start with. Accidentally?”

“Yes,” Michael says. A beat. “As in, I didn’t mean to but I did.”

“Yes, I’m familiar with the definition of an accident,” Calum says dryly. “I’d love to know how you accidentally adopted five kittens.”

“Well, you know how I’m kind of really bad at saying no?”

“For fuck’s sake,” Calum says, turning right. “Okay. I’m gonna hang up, process this, and when I get home in two minutes you can explain it to me.”

“Sorry,” Michael says, which somehow does not feel like the right thing for him to be saying. It’s followed by, “Love you,” which is a lot better, and after Calum echoes the sentiment, the call ends.

A minute later, Calum parks the car in the driveway, grabs the groceries from the backseat, and locks the car. He bustles through the front door, calling out for Michael as he does.

“Hi,” Michael says, smiling nervously at Calum like he thinks Calum’s really going to be cross about the kittens thing.

Calum rolls his eyes. “I don’t care about the kittens, babe, I’d just really like an explanation.”

Michael sighs in relief. “Okay. Well. That’s good.”

“Also, can I, like…meet them?” Calum glances around; the living room looks roughly the same. “Where are they?”

Michael nods. “They’re in the guest room for now. I don’t know, it felt like the right place for them?”

Calum sets the bag of groceries down, even though he really needs to get dinner started — hence the trip to the store — and follows Michael to the guest room, which is suspiciously silent. 

“I think they’re asleep,” Michael tells him in a low voice, “so don’t be noisy.”

Inside, the kittens are all curled up in the corner of a big cage which Calum knows for a fact is a new purchase, considering they’ve never had any reason to own a cage. Two are white, one is grey, one is black, and one is black and white, and they’re all napping with various limbs tucked into or on top of or underneath each other. Calum has always considered himself a dog person, but at this sight his entire heart melts into liquid gold.

“Oh,” he whispers, slowly kneeling to get a better look. “Oh my God, they’re so cute. They’re so cute.”

“I know,” Michael whispers back. At the sound of speaking, one of the white kittens opens its eyes, casting a sleepy glance at Calum. It doesn’t seem terribly bothered to see him, because after a moment of Calum holding his breath it closes its eyes again and huffs quietly.

Calum is going to die. They’ll put cuteness overload on his cause of death and he’ll be mocked for years to come.

“We shouldn’t wake them,” Michael whispers, and Calum agrees. They back quietly away from the cage and exit the guest room. Michael shuts the door softly behind him.

“So we have five kittens in our custody,” Calum says. “Very adorable kittens, but kittens nonetheless.”

“Yes,” Michael says. 

Calum raises his eyebrows. “Care to explain how?”

“Yes,” Michael says again. He bites his lip. “No. Well. Long story short, I am very bad at saying no to things, and the woman at the pet shop was extremely convincing. And also said that I seem like I would be a great cat owner, which I would, Calum!”

“You will be,” Calum says. “You had better be, because you now own five cats.”

Michael grins. “I know! I know that’s fucking insane, but whatever! We’re adults. We can just have cats.”

“I don’t know anything about taking care of cats,” Calum warns him as he makes his way back to the kitchen. “I’ve only ever had dogs.”

“That’s okay, I’ve done lots of reading,” Michael says confidently. “Plus, we get to name them and I know you love to name things so I figured you could help.”

Calum shakes his head bemusedly. “Did you come up with all kinds of ways to sweet-talk me into letting you keep the cats? Why didn’t you think I’d just be okay with it?”

“Because I did it without consulting you first? Because we live together and I’ve just introduced five new living creatures to our environment?”

Calum sighs and pauses in the midst of putting away groceries. He turns to Michael. “Mikey, you’ve wanted a cat for, and this is a rough estimate here, about a hundred million years. This isn’t, like…how I expected it to go, but I’m not mad or anything.” After a moment, he adds, “I mean, you’re not wrong. It would have been better to talk about it first. And also to probably not end up with five rather than one. But.” He shrugs. “Whatever. They’re cats. They’re easy to love and easy to care for.”

Michael beams. The kitchen lights up with his smile. “This went so much better than I anticipated,” he says, grinning ear-to-ear. He throws his arms around Calum and presses a kiss to his cheek. “You’re gonna be a great cat dad. I know you say you’re a dog person but that’s just because you’ve never had a cat before.”

“I was never a dog person at the exclusion of cats,” Calum says in his defense. “What are we gonna name them? Do you have any ideas? How many girls and boys are there? Also could you cut these carrots?”

Michael obligingly does as he’s told. “They’re all boys. And.” He chews his lip. “I wanted to see if you had any ideas first.”

The face Michael’s making indicates that he very much has an idea, and Calum has only known about the kittens for like ten minutes, if that — hardly long enough to come up with any solid name ideas. He gestures. “Nah, I want to hear yours.”

“You sure?”

“It’s just an idea, it’s not set in stone. I want to know.”

“Okay, well, I thought we could name them after the One Direction boys.” Michael grins. “You know. ‘Cause there’s five of them, and…” 

Calum laughs harder than he expects to. “Oh my fucking God we are absolutely doing that, yes. That’s incredible. That alone makes it all worth it. Who’s who? Liam and Louis are the white ones, right?”

“That’s what I was thinking!” Michael says, also laughing. “Then I thought the black one would be Harry, the grey one would be Niall — because he was always on the fence, remember, like a grey area? And then Zayn would be black and white.”

“I love it,” Calum says, snickering as he puts the last of the groceries in the fridge. “I fucking love it. It’s fantastic. And so fitting.”

“Thank you,” Michael says. “I was pretty proud of the idea.”

“Well,” Calum declares, grabbing the knife dangerously out of Michael’s grasp and pressing himself against Michael’s side to stand at the cutting board, “we are officially cat fathers, Mike. How does it feel?”

“Feels good, honestly,” Michael says. “I’m really glad you’re not cross.”

Calum gives Michael a smile. He can’t imagine being cross about something like this, not when it’s obviously making Michael the happiest man alive. The joy is radiating off him in waves. Far be it from Calum to stifle that. 

“You get the eternal privilege of dealing with the litter box once we get one, though,” he informs Michael, who just nods solemnly, like this was a responsibility he’d expected to take on. Calum grins and kisses his cheek. “You’re going to make a fantastic cat dad, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” Michael says. “I’ll be the cool dad, and then you can be the dad who seems like he’s really strict but actually gives them treats when I’m not around.”

Calum just shakes his head, smiling fondly. He lets Michael chatter on about plans for where they’ll sleep and what kinds of toys to get them and which ones he suspects will be the most playful, and every second falls more in love with the idea of a lifetime of pets and shenanigans with Michael.

[pixiegrl]

Jingle Bell Rock

Luke has the perfect idea for a Christmas gift for Ashton. 

This is part of the Lingerie 5sos verse. I've wanted to write this part for a while because I thought it would be cute if Luke proposed to Ashton and well. Here it finally is. A little Christmas treat. Thanks to @lifewasradical for letting me yell at her about this. Love you babe!

On ao3 at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28330056

“Michael, I’ve had an idea,” Luke says into the phone when Michael picks up. He’s met with dead air, staticky on the other line. Luke pulls the phone back from his ear, checking to see if they’re still connected. 

“Michael, are you there? This is important.” 

“Sorry I just can’t believe you’ve had an idea,” Michael says, snickering on the other side while Luke pouts. 

“Oh fuck you Mikey, I have tons of ideas,” Luke says, pouting further as Michael’s laughter grows from a snicker to full blown cackling. 

“I know, I know. You’re just so fun to fuck with,” Michael says. His laughter dies down as he gets a hold of himself. Luke waits until Michael finally calms down, rolling his eyes. 

“Are you finished?” 

“Yeah, yeah. You said you had an idea?” 

“I’m going to get Ashton an engagement ring.” 

Michael pauses, “Luke, you know you’re engaged already right?” 

“I know, but after the whole foursome thing I want to show Ashton that I love him just as much as he loves me. That he’s the only one for me. So, I want to get him a ring of his own. And I need your help shopping.” 

“God that’s so...horribly sappy. You two are the most vanilla people I know.”

“Michael, will you help me or not?” 

“I’ll help. Give me like 30 minutes and I’ll come pick you up, okay?” Michael says. Luke hums out a confirmation and hangs up the phone.

Luke has a rare day alone, something that never happens. Ashton’s gone off shopping somewhere, leaving Luke alone for the day. Luke’s been thinking about doing this for awhile, getting a ring for Ashton. He’s looking online at a few things and decided that he doesn’t want to get Ashton a diamond ring. It seems too ordinary and plain for someone as amazing and wonderful as Ashton. Luke’s decided on a gemstone, he’s just not sure what stone. Luke’s hoping that seeing them in person will help him make a choice. 

It’s easy for Luke to get ready, already wearing his plaid pants and black crew neck shirt. He feels cozy in them, soft and warm. He feels less like Stage Luke and closer to the Luke he is at home, Ashton’s fiancé, happy and content. He grabs a pair of his black boots and his wallet, running his fingers through his curls in the hallway mirror before patting Petunia on her head. 

“Be good while I’m gone okay Tuney,” Luke coos at her, rubbing her ears and pressing a kiss to her head. He gets a lick on his cheek in return, laughing in delight at her. Luke’s phone buzzes, signalling to him that Michael’s outside. Luke grabs his keys from the key hooks at the front door, locking the door behind him. 

Michael’s idling in the driveway, flipping through his phone while All Time Low plays in the background. He glances up at Luke when he opens the passenger door, climbing in and slamming it behind him. 

“You’re dressed down today,” Michael comments, putting the car in reverse and backing out. 

“Just felt like wearing this today,” Luke says, shrugging. Michael hums in response, taking them out on the road and on their way to where they know the stores are 

“Do you actually know where we’re headed or are you hoping to drive around in circles looking for a jewelry store?” Michael asks after a few moments. Luke pulls his phone out of his pocket, clicking through his recent search history on Google Maps. 

“I know a place we can go. I’ve been looking at this for a few days.” 

“Oh shit, you’re serious about this,” Michael says, glancing at the Google Maps directions when Luke gives him his phone. 

“Yeah I’ve been thinking about it for a couple weeks. Ashton was really uncertain of our relationship after the foursome and we talked it out, but I’m worried he’s still unsure of us. I mean, we’re getting married, Michael. I don’t want Ashton to ever be unsure of us.” 

“I can’t believe he would be. You two have been gross and sappy and in love since practically the minute we met Ashton.” 

“He thinks he’s not enough. Or he thought he wasn’t enough? Either way, I want to show Ashton that he is and I love him in the same way that he loves me. So, a ring,” Luke says. 

“You actually thought about this.”

“I’m a good gift giver when it’s not for you,” Luke says, laughing when Michael pouts dramatically. It’s fun, driving in the car with Michael, swapping stories about Ashton and Calum, the Christmas gifts they’ve planned for each of their partners, trying to take festive photos for their families (Michael complaining about how hard it is to dress three dogs up for Christmas photos, Luke talking about how much Petunia enjoyed the reindeer antlers as a chew toy instead). Luke feels like as much as he gets to see Michael, he doesn’t really get to sit down and talk to Michael. Even if it’s just a car ride to go shopping, Luke enjoys spending time with Michael, even if it involves some light ribbing.

They pull into the parking lot of the jewelry store soon enough. Luke feels like he might throw up, bouncing his leg from how nervous he is, tapping his fingers on his thigh. Michael leans over, squeezing Luke’s hand.

“Deep breathes Luke. Ashton loves you, you already know that. Getting this ring is just simply another symbol in a long list of symbols of your love.”

“What if I pick the wrong ring?”

“I think that would be literally impossible, but even if you did, Ashton would love it anyway because it would be a gift from you. He would never hate anything that you could give him,” Michael says, smiling at Luke. Luke smiles back, edges of it tense, and squeezes Michael’s hand back, breathing in and out to try and ground himself. Michael’s right of course. No matter what Luke picks, he already knows Ashton loves him and that they’re forever. The ring isn’t as important as any of that.

“You ready?” Michael asks. Luke takes a breath, lets it out, and nods. They leave the car, Luke entering the store first. There’s a woman at the corner, who glances up when they walk in. 

“Welcome. What can I help you with today?” 

“I’m looking for a ring?” Luke says hesitantly, cringing at himself when he hears the words. Michael snorts behind him. The woman smiles gently, clearly taking pity on how awkward Luke must be.  

“Are you looking for a diamond or something else?” She asks. Luke cautiously approaches the corner. 

“Something else. Maybe something red,” Luke says. He’s thought about it, the red of a gemstone complimenting the red in Ashton’s moon tattoos, the heart on his wrist. 

The woman smiles, heading in the direction of where those rings must be. Luke follows after her, leaving Michael to poke around the earrings. 

She reaches into the display area, pulling out a bright red stone, set in a simple gold band. 

“It’s a ruby. Symbolizes love, passion, and energy. It’s perfect for what you’re looking for. This one is a size 9, but we can resize it if you need it,” She says, holding the ring out to Luke. He takes it gently, turning it over in his hands and smiling gently. It glitters in the light, bright and sparkly. Luke knows it’ll look good on Ashton, standing out against his skin. 

“That’s the perfect size. It’s perfect. I’ll take it,” Luke says, smiling. The woman smiles, telling Luke the price of it. It seems reasonable enough, Luke nodding when she asks if the price is acceptable. She takes the ring back from him, moving around behind the counter to place it in a box and ring him up. Luke knows he’s probably being a little hasty, picking a ring so quickly, but he knows it feels right. Something about the ring feels like it’s meant for Ashton. The woman smiles as she hands the bag to Luke.

“Good luck. I hope they enjoy it. Happy holidays,” She says, smiling. Luke gives her a soft smile back.

“Thank you. I hope so too. Happy holidays,” Luke says. Michael’s already at the door, holding it open for him as they leave and head back to the car.

“It looks nice Luke. I’m sure Ashton will like it.”

“You think so?”

“The color works well for him. He’ll love it and what it means,” Michael says, reassuringly. Luke smiles, opening the car door and settling into the passenger seat. 

“You know what else Ashton might like?” Michael says as he slides in, starting the engine.

“What?”

“You in some festive lingerie. Really adds to the whole ambience of the affair,” Michael says. Luke can tell he’s teasing, but it might not be such a bad idea. Might even be fun for Luke to do.

“Think so?”

“You’re not actually thinking about it, are you?”

“Why not? I’m sure Sierra and KayKay have something in stock that might be fun to wear. A little red and white number.”

“Are you gonna do a dance with it? Oh, wait! You could do the Mean Girls dance. Full Jingle Rock number. Ashton would really get a kick out of that,” Michael says, laughing as he drives them in the direction of the store. Luke blushes.

“I’m too clumsy for that.”

“You are not. It’s an easy enough dance just...stay out of the way of stereos so you don’t kick one in Ashton’s face,” Michael says. Luke rolls his eyes, but Michael has a point. It might be fun to put on a show. Luke knows Ashton likes him in lingerie, so why not incorporate it into their gift giving. 

Luke’s still trying to talk Michael into doing something similar for Calum when they enter the shop. The bell jingles over the door and Sierra and KayKay both look up from the counter, grinning widely when they see it’s Luke and Michael.

“Luke, sweetheart! What brings you in today?” Sierra calls, rounding the counter to pull Luke into a hug. She’s nice today, wearing a black bodysuit and black jeans. Kaykay is clearly checking out her ass, blushing when Michael elbows her, grinning.

“Looking for something seasonally appropriate to surprise Ashton with.”

“You know, like Mean Girls,” Michael says. Luke throws him a glare, but Sierra and KayKay are both nodding along. 

“You’re in luck! We have a whole section for festive looks. It’s more classy than what you’ll find online, but we do pride ourselves on being better,” Sierra says, taking Luke’s hand and tugging Luke in that direction. 

As expected, there’s a lot of reds with white trim, bows and ribbons over everything. There’s a handful of green pieces too, Michael drawn towards those to look through the pieces. Sierra holds one out to Luke, a simple bralette in red satin, white trim around the edges and a simple satin panty, little red skirt with matching trim on it. 

“If you’re going for the Regina George aesthetic, I think this is perfect. Simple and understated, but elegant. Would make your legs look great with a nice pair of stockings and a heel,” Sierra teases. Luke hums, taking the set in his hands and admiring it. 

“Your ass would look great in it,” Michael says, glancing over at Luke while he looks at his own green set. Luke hums, turning it over in his hands. It would look good on Luke and he has the perfect red heels for it.

“Wouldn’t look too trashy?”

“I don’t think you could ever be capable of looking trashy,” Sierra reassures him.

“What about the dance though?”

“Oh that’s easy,” KayKay pipes up, drawing all their attention to her.

“It is?”

“I memorized that dance in middle school cause I thought I was so cool. Just tell me when it’s good for you and I can show you both how to do it.”

“You sure?”

KayKay waves it away, “It’s certainly easy enough to learn.”

“You haven’t seen Luke and his coordination,” Michael snips. Luke rolls his eyes, flipping Michael off while bringing the pieces up to the counter.

“I have some coordination, Michael.”

“Are you sure? I’ve watched you trip over air before.”

“As opposed to you just falling off a stage.”

“How dare you mock my traumatic moment Luke. Worst friend ever,” Michael complains dramatically. Luke rolls his eyes.

“Yes, I’m the worst friend in the world Michael. As you like to tell me all the time.”

“Good, you need to know it,” Michael says. He’s grinning though, leaning over to press a kiss to Luke’s cheek.  Luke grins back, bumping shoulders with Michael. It’s fun, getting to spend the time with Michael, having someone who accepts him, rolls with all of the things that Luke asks.

Luke and Michael leave the shop with the promise to text KayKay when they’re free to set up a time to learn the dance. They leave the shop, making their way back to the car.

“I can’t believe you’re going to learn the Mean Girls dance for your Christmas gift to Ashton you’re literally insane,” Michael says, unlocking the car and getting in.

“I think you mean that we’re going to learn the dance together,” Luke says.

“If you make me break an ankle, I will sue you.”

“Scouts honor you won’t.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” Michael mumbles. Luke smiles. It’s going to be a perfect gift for Ashton, he just knows it.

***

Luke’s ready for Christmas. He’s been up since 7:00am, woken up by Ashton pressing kisses to his skin. Luke hates being up early, but he’ll willingly do it for Christmas and morning kisses with Ashton. Eventually, Ashton had left their bed for his morning run and to take Petunia out, while Luke had agreed to set up for gift exchange and coffee. Luke waits till Ashton’s out the front door before shimming out of his pajamas and grabbing the lingerie set from its hiding spot. He puts the bra on first, sliding on the panties. He pulls a pair of white thigh high stockings up his legs, adjusting them till they feel right and sit perfectly on his legs. He pulls his pajamas back on over the set, deciding that he’ll put the skirt and heels on right before he does the dance. 

Luke heads downstairs, leaving the skirt and heels in their downstairs bathroom, the one place he knows Ashton won’t go into before exchanging gifts. Ashton’s already left his half of the gifts downstairs, gift bags and wrapped boxes and a small basket filled with small wrapped gifts. Luke smiles, re-adjusting everything until there’s enough space for him to put out his gifts for Ashton. Luke’s gone for getting gifts that are more food based this year, cookbooks and boxes of tea and coffee, things that he knows mean the two of them can spend time together. Luke’s been basking in their quasi-break, getting to spend all of his time with Ashton. He wants to continue that, dedicated nights to quality time and the cookbooks had seemed like the perfect idea for it. Ashton’s always talking about exploring different foods and this has seemed like the perfect chance. He’d also bought a mini waffle maker that makes the waffles heart shaped because it was sappy and cute and he knows Ashton will laugh at it but use it every morning. He’d gotten Ashton some new shirts and ties, soft material and deep, rich colors, for when they tour again or go out for press. They’re perfect simple gifts that Luke’s happy about. He puts the ring box in his pocket once he’s set up all the other gifts and goes into the kitchen to make coffee.

Luke’s heating the water up, scooping out some of the Winter Blend ground coffee they have into their french press when Ashton comes back from his walk, Petunia panting at his heels. Luke turns around, bending down to coo at her as she takes a drink of water from her bowl.

“Aw, did Ashton make you run too much?” Luke asks her, giggling as she splashes water onto the floor trying to lap up as much water as she can.

“She could use it,” Ashton grumbles, coming into the kitchen. Luke leans over, waiting till Ashton’s close enough, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“You’re all sweaty,” Luke says, wrinkling his nose.

“I did just go for a run. Not my fault you can’t wait for a kiss,” Ashton snorts, pressing another kiss to Luke’s lips, despite his half-hearted protests.

“Shower first, then presents,” Luke says, allowing himself to steal one more kiss from Ashton before pushing him in the direction of their bedroom. Ashton laughs, but goes willingly, leaving Luke to finish up with making their coffee. Luke carries it out to the living room, Petunia close at his heels, knowing that there’ll be treats for her under the tree too. Luke sets the mugs down, picking Petunia up and placing her on the couch next to him. He scratches behind her ears, scrolling through his phone and texting his family, wishing them a merry christmas and promising to call them after opening gifts. 

Ashton comes back down the stairs, humming quietly under his breath, smiling when he sees Luke. He takes a seat on the couch, curling up next to Luke and taking his coffee mug.

Ashton makes Luke open his things first, insisting that he wants to see what Luke thinks of them. Luke’s charmed by it, excited for the makeup and the earrings, the spa basket of things Ashton’s given him. He adores the little jewelry box, laughing when he realizes that it’s Petunia. Ashton’s bashful when he hands Luke the last two boxes, taking Luke’s breath away when he pulls the dress out of one, beautiful pink tulle, with little beaded pearls and flowers. It’s the lingerie set that gets Luke though, royal blue with the black lace. It’s not something Luke would pick for himself, prefers lighter colors, but it’s a beautiful set and he’s glad Ashton picked it out, can’t wait to try it on. Ashton’s thrilled about the cookbooks, laughing at the waffle maker and promising to try it this morning. He keeps leaning over between gifts, pressing kisses to Luke’s lips and thanking him over and over again, in between Luke’s giggles and smile.

Eventually they open everything, including the toys and dog treats for Petunia. Ashton stands, clearly ready to make food.

“I have one more surprise,” Luke says, blushing when Ashton looks down at him.

“Oh?”

“Yes, but you have to sit back down and close your eyes.”

“I do?”

“It’s a surprise,” Luke insists, setting his mug down on the table and getting up. Ashton rolls his eyes, but sits back down.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

“I love you very much. Now, close your eyes and wait for me,” Luke says. He waits till Ashton’s closed his eyes before leaving the room, heading to the bathroom and changing into the lingerie skirt and sliding his heels on. He takes the ring from his pants pocket, sliding it into his bra for lack of a better place to put it.

Luke takes a breath, leaving the bathroom and trying to be as quiet as possible, making sure his heels don’t click on the floor. He wants it to be a surprise for as long as possible. He finds Ashton still sitting on the couch, eyes closed, tapping his fingers against his thighs.

Luke strikes a pose and clears his throat, “You can open your eyes now.”

Ashton does, cracking up a smile and laughing brightly when he sees Luke. Luke blushes. 

“Very nice Luke,” Ashton says, once his laughter has died down, still smiling.

“Well, now you’re just saying that.”

“Am not. You look very lovely. Seasonal and all.”

“I learned a whole dance.”

“You did?”

“KayKay taught us the dance from Mean Girls.”

“Do I get to see it?”

“You can’t laugh,” Luke insists. Ashton crosses his heart.

“Promise I won’t,” Ashton says, giggling anyway. Luke rolls his eyes, grabbing his phone off the table to queue up the song.

The opening notes of Jingle Bell Rock play through the speakers on Luke’s phone. Luke starts to dance, trying to remember the steps KayKay taught him. He forgets the dance part way through, opting to just twirl at one point, knowing the spinning of the skirt will distract Ashton from his forgotten steps if Luke can draw attention to his ass and legs. It works, Ashton’s gaze fixed on Luke the whole time as he does his best to impersonate Regina George. Luke ends on a spin, angling himself in front of Ashton on the final note.

Luke lands in Ashton’s lap, knees bracketing Ashton’s hips. Ashton hums, hands on Luke’s hips, tilting his head back to request a kiss. Luke obliges, leaning down and pressing his lips to Ashton’s fingers tangled in his hair. 

“Best gift yet,” Ashton whispers onto Luke’s lips.

“I have one more for you.”

“Really?”

Luke nods, leaning down on his heels. He reaches into his bra, pulling the ring box out, opening it up. He glances up at Ashton, sees his wide-eyed expression of shock.

“Lu…”

“Ashton, I know you gave me my ring and I know you proposed to me all those months ago, but with everything that’s happened recently, I realized that I haven’t told you how I feel. I know you always say you know and that it’s oblivious, but you deserve to have me say it over and over again. I love you. It’s just part of who I am, all my love for you making me who I am. You’re passionate and strong and supportive. You’re my other half and sometimes it feels like you know me better than I know who I am. I wouldn’t be here today without you and your love and guidance and support. You deserve to have a symbol of my love, to have a constant reminder of how much I love you, how much you’re a part of who I am. I love you and I want to marry you. So, Ashton Irwin, will you marry me?” Luke asks. Ashton’s smiling, eyes wet with tears, as he takes Luke’s face in his hands and kisses him.

“Of course I’ll marry you, Luke Hemmings. But you already knew that,” Ashton says. Luke laughs, thinks he might be crying his own tears of joy, as he takes the ring out of the box and slides it onto Ashton’s finger.

“Oh, it’s a perfect fit,” Ashton says, holding his hand out to admire the ruby stone.

“It was meant to be,” Luke says, leaning back in to kiss Ashton. They kiss for a few more minutes, enjoying the warmth and love from each other.

“Best Christmas ever?” Luke asks.

“I got you in lingerie and an engagement. I’d say it’s the best Christmas ever,” Ashton says, grinning.

“I love you Ash,” Luke says, pressing one final kiss to Ashton’s neck.

“I love you Lu. Now let’s get up and make some waffles in the shape of our love and call our families,” Ashton says, kissing Luke’s cheek. Luke laughs, detangling himself from Ashton’s lap and standing up. Ashton follows suit, tugging Luke towards the kitchen for breakfast. Luke thinks Ashton is right. It’s the best Christmas Luke could have asked for.

[ruthoakenshield]

The Lady in the Black Leather (Ch 24)

Warning, some chapters contain smut, mentions of sensitive topics such as rape, abuse, flashbacks and such. This story is for  18+age readers ONLY. Read at your own discretion.

Master list for this tale to catch up: Chapters:  01 , 02 , 03 , 04 , 05 , 06 , 07 , 08 , 09 , 10 , 11 , 12 , 13 , 14 , 15 , 16 , 17 , 18 , 19 , 20 , 21 , 22 , 23

characters: Harley, Graham, Scarlett, Aiden, Phantom

You text Scarlett while Graham plays tug of war with Phantom with the rope toy.

“Hey Scar, you guys done filming yet? Want to come hang out and maybe we can find a game we all can have fun playing?” you message her and send it off.

She replies, “Sure! Aiden just got done filming for the day, we’ll be up in a bit. He got a new game he wants to play with us, so we’ll bring it when we come.”

You grin and watch Graham and Phantom play for a while. Laughing at Phantom’s game of tug and let go. He tugs the toy until Graham’s arms are almost straight out, then he lets go of the toy and it flies back and smacks Graham in the chest.

After a few rounds of that, Graham finally caught on that that was the game Phantom was playing and he surprised the dog and did it back to him. Waiting till Phantom was pulling, Graham let go. Phantom stumbled back and just looked at the two of you with a dumbfounded look on his face like he was thinking, “Wait, that wasn’t supposed to happen! I’m supposed to be the one letting go!”

You and Graham just cracked up at the look on the dog’s face. Phantom huffed and went to pout on his bed and chewed on his rawhide bone.

Phantom’s ear pops up and he turns his head towards the hospital room’s door, and he trots over to it and lets out a soft ‘Wuff’ letting Graham know someone else was there. Graham goes over and signals for Phantom to ‘stay’ and he opens the door.

Aiden and Scarlett are walking up the hallway and Phantom’s tail starts wagging when he hears them.

‘Wuff’ he says again, and Graham looks down at the dog, then back at you, you nod, and he signals ‘go’ and lets Phantom go greet Aiden and Scarlett. They catch him and pet him, and signal ‘come’ and he follows them back up to the door.

They enter and greet you. You see what Scarlett is carrying. She shows you it’s a game called “Apples to Apples” and says they thought it would be fun to play with you and Graham and Rich when he was done with work.

You look at Graham and he is reading the instructions and gets a HUGE grin on his face. “Oh, heck ya! We gotta play this!!!” he replies excitedly.

You grin and Graham hands you the instructions to read through. You do so and realize it does sound like a lot of fun. “Too bad we can’t have some drinks in here while we play it. But the hospital won’t allow it.” You say.

You all decide to play a few rounds to get the feeling for the game and then when it hits 4pm, Graham tells Aiden and Scarlett that he is going to call his wife on Zoom on your computer and asks if he wants to say ‘hi’ and introduce Scarlett.

Aiden excitedly nods and so you all gather around your laptop after you lower the bed railings so everyone can squeeze in around you.

Graham makes the Zoom call and Gwen answers and greets him. Then he lets Aiden say ‘hi’ and introduces Scarlett to Gwen and the girls, who are excited to see Aiden. The two young girls ask when he’s coming back for a visit. He chuckles and says he isn’t sure yet. They greet Scarlett and talk with her a little bit, then Graham introduces you to them and tells them you are Richard’s girlfriend.

Gwen’s face lights up. “OH! You’re the one we decided to ‘adopt’! The one Graham’s been telling me about!” she says excitedly. You grin and nod. “Yup. That’s me. ‘Hi Mom!’ you say, giggling.

She gets a big smile! “Girls, come meet your new big sister your Dad and I unofficially adopted!” you hear the girls squeal and come running into the picture. ‘Which one is she?” the younger one asks.

You wave, “That’d be me.” You tell them. They wave and say ‘hi!’ and ask you all kinds of questions, making Graham and Gwen chuckle. You answer their questions and ask them a few like what do they like, favourtie colors, hobbies. They tell you then their Mom shoos them off to go finish their breakfast.

She asks how things are going, and you tell her you met with the attorney Rich hired to go after your ex. You tell her you’re pressing charges against your ex and told the lawyer to throw the book at him.

She chuckles and nods.

You tell her you meet with the judge tomorrow and will go from there on that aspect of things.

She asks how’s things going with Richard and you grin.

“They are going good. He is taking it slow and is treating me well. I’m not used to being treated with such kindness and consideration. So, it is taking me some time to get used to it.” You tell her. “He makes me feel safe and extremely loved and cared for.” You say.

She grins happily.

“He asked me to walk the Red Carpet with him at his and Graham’s new movie Premieres and wants me to travel with him for the promos.” You tell her, giggling. “Kinda took me by surprise!”

Gwen gets a HUGE grin on her face, “Well, then Grammy, I think we had better come for a visit and celebrate your new movie and our new family member!” She tells him.

His eyes get HUGE and he looks surprised, “You sure, Sweetie? It’s an awful long flight! And I know how you hate flying!” he reminds her.

“I know, Graham, but I want to be there with you and so do the girls. They’re old enough now and want to walk the Red Carpet with Daddy.” She tells him.

You all hear the girls begging, “PLEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEE Poppa!!!”

You look up at Graham and can tell he is a big pushover and he grins and says, “Oh all right! I will talk to the director and my assistant and get my ladies their tickets.”

You all laugh as you hear his girls scream excitedly in the background and Gwen is covering her ears.

Once the girls calm down you feel Phantom nuzzling your leg. You motion ‘up’ and he pops up onto the bed to see what is making all the commotion on the table top. Aiden and Scarlett move out of the way so Phantom can come sit next to you on your right side. You see Gwen grin and say, “And who is that ball of fluff? Girls! Come see this!’ she tells them.

They come running back to stand by their Mom and are munching on what looks like waffles. They are looking eagerly into the computer screen.

“This,” you say, “Is my service / protection dog. His name is Phantom. Graham & Richard bought him and paid for training for me so Phantom can keep me safe from my ex and anyone else who wishes to harm me.” You explain.

“AWWW! Hi Phantom!!!” the young girls say! “What kind of dog is he?” they ask. You tell them that Phantom is a mix between two Belgian Breeds, one is the sheepdog, the other starts with a T and you can never remember how to say it. Which makes everyone laugh.

Phantom says, “Wuff!” when he hears voices, but you don’t think he understands where they are coming from. He hops back down onto the floor and goes to lie down by the door.

You tell them that they will meet him when they come for a visit and the girls can have fun playing with him then when he isn’t in his service dog vest. They get excited and tell you all they can’t wait to come visit.

You grin and look up at Graham, who is just beaming.

“Did you get her gift, Graham?” Gwen asked after shooing the girls back to their breakfast.

“Yes, my Love, I gave it to her. We were going to have it fitted today, but she ended up being attacked by her ex yesterday afternoon as Rich and her got out of the car with Phantom in front of Aiden’s apartment. Phantom attacked her ex, but he got off a shot before Phantom could bring him down. The bullet hit Harley’s leg so she is in the hospital for the next week.” He explains.

“Once she is released from the Hospital, I will take her to have the dress fitted properly.”

She smiles and nods. “Graham sent me pics of the dress and the corset. It will look wonderful on the Red Carpet, Sweetheart!” she tells you. “I look forward to meeting you in person so I can give you a big hug.” She says excitedly to you, making you grin.

“I look forward to it too.” You tell her.

You let Graham and Gwen talk for a bit and when they are done, you all tell them goodbye and they wave back and say, “See you all soon!” the girls say, “Bye Poppa! See you when we get there!” and they hug the monitor.

Graham chuckles and blows them kisses. Then they sign off.

Aiden looks up at Graham and says, “You’re such a pushover! They have gotten so Big! What is your wife feeding them! Last time I saw them, Hope was maybe the size Honor is and Honor was just barely toddling around!!!”

Graham just beams. “Just good New Zealand cooking, Aid. Kids grow like weeds at that age! Though Hope will start slowing down with the growth spurts pretty soon.” He tells Aiden.

Just then you get a text from Rich. “FINALLY DONE! 😊 Be there soon! Who’s all up there? I’ll pick up supper for all of us.”

You reply, “YAY!!!!! Graham, Aiden, Scarlett and I are all here with Phantom. You just missed the zoom call with Gwen, Hope and Honor though.” you message back.

He replies, “What?!?! Awww nuts! Well, I’m on my way. Should be there in about 20 min.” he tells you.

You chuckle. “Guys? Mind if I give you the boot for a few minutes. I’d like to get cleaned up a little more before Rich shows up???” you ask.

Graham grins and nods. “Sure, Sweetheart. We’ll go take Phantom for a good long walk around the block a couple times.” He tells you. “Just text us when you’re ready for us to head back up.” He tells you and gives you a kiss on your forehead.

They take Phantom and hook him up to the leash and grab the rope toy and head down to the outdoors. 

Stay tuned, more chapters to follow!!!

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[revchainsaw]

Sonic: The Hedgehog (2020)

Sonic: The Hedgehog (2020)

Greeting my flock of film freaks and welcome again to the Cult of Cult. Todays offering is a bit more of the mainstream blockbuster variety, but as films based on Video Games are still actually quite niche and vastly underestimated I think we should open our hearts to Sonic: The Hedgehog and hope that we find it a pleasing tithe to the cult. I am your beloved minster, The Reverend Chainsaw, and welcome to today’s service.

The Message

I must confess to the congregation that I was drinking mighty heavily of the lord’s Tennessee sour mash when I was taking in this movie. That said, I think that this is a great movie to have a drink with and I mean that in the best possible way. 

Sonic: The Hedgehog is of course based on the Sega video game franchise and stars Ben Schwartz as the titular blue rat. Schwartz brings his brand of high energy enthusiastic comedy to the voice role. While Schwartz is particularly on brand for Schwartz, is he on brand for Sonic? I’m not entirely sure, but I’m also not entirely sure I was ever in love with the old ways. I am not an avid fan or consumer of Sonic media and perhaps that means I am in a poor position to say. I am most familiar with the Sega games and Sonic cartoons from the 90s, and from what I have grasped the more recent entries with their more anime centric and high lore plots still owe quite a bit to the attitude era of the 90s. Sonic was a hero but he was also a bit of a cross between Mickey Mouse, the Flash, and Bart Simpson. As an angsty 90s boy I wanted to eat chili dogs and go very fast that was very appealing to me, but I’m not so sure it would be appealing to a vast audience of older millennials, or even todays kids. And though I think it would be a fair criticism to say that Ben Schwartz is playing sonic as basically the superhero version of his Dewey Duck from the VERY VERY good DuckTales reboot, I don’t think that it’s necessarily a bad thing. 

Dewey Duck the Hedgehog is a small mammal (also not a rodent, I wanted to say rodent and apparently hedgehogs are not rodents, just googled it) from an alien planet where his adoptive mother, an owl named Long Claw, fears that he will be hunted for his special powers, which I think is just super speed but it might be other things. In line with these concerns after an attack by pursuers Longclaw gives Sonic the Moses treatment and floats the special blue boy down the metaphorical river. Unlike Moses, however, Sonic is not found by ultra rich ultra powerful extra special people but is instead alone. Sonic lives alone in exile outside a small American town as a sort of local cryptid.

Thus begins a charming adventure. Through a poor decision to use his powers while working out some personal issues, Sonic inadvertantly draws the attention of the U.S Government and their nasty big brain baddy Dr. Robotnik. Sonic recruits a small town police officer with big city dreams to assist him in finding his magic rings so that he might flee from earth to an uninhabited mushroom kingdom. 

Now about these two human characters. Officer Everyman is played by cyclops from the X-men franchise. The actors name escapes me and so does the characters, and while, yes, I just looked up if hedgehogs were rodents, I will not be looking up this information. I like the review better this way. It makes me laugh. And while I don’t remember his name, I do remember that he used to live In Mt. Juliet, TN.  Anyway, what you should know about Officer Goodguy is that he drives a Toyota Tacoma!

That Toyota Tacoma is also continuously abused by the mad machinations of our films biggest draw: Jim Carey as Dr. Robotnik. If we were to pitch a Sonic movie, I don’t think anyone would jump to Jim Carey as the must have for the role, but after seeing this film, boy was it the best choice. The way he chews the scenery and plays off the rest of the cast and situations is just so much fun to watch. It’s fantastic to see Jim Carey back in a larger than life role. The Decision to play Jim Carey as the kind of condescending nerd who has taken their lack of social skills and leaned in as opposed to working on themselves was a brilliant choice. We’ve all known that kind of guy who tries to play the misanthrope just because they are too egotistical to recognize their flaws. Here Dr. Robotnik has given up on human connection in favor of subordination. His intellect is his only value, and thus he demands everyone around him acknowledge intellect as the only quality that matters as he has. It was a great choice.

From the point the chase begins the film becomes a road trip flick, and despite the fact that Sonic could supposedly cover the distance required in the blink of an eye we watch the ins and outs of our heroes relationship as they learn what home, and being a hero mean to them. By the climax it is pretty by the numbers, Sonic has come to feel at home on Earth and now that he has friends who care for him they can begin to make a world from which neither will have to flee; and of course, they beat the bad guy. FOR NOW. we are treated to an even crazier Dr. Robotnik stranded in the Fungus Dimension bent on revenge.

The Benediction

Now for all things Holy and Profane in this film, please rise for the Benediction.

Best Scandal: Sonic the Cosmic Horror

The original look of this film was mired in dread when the early footage and trailers dropped revealing a hideously uncanny hedgehog monster in the form of sonic. The memes are amazing, the toys are unsettling, there’s still plenty of Quasimodo Sonic stuff out there floating on the web and I suggest that you search it out, the laughter is good for your heart. Also if anyone wants to send me any creepy sonic merch I’ll take it. 

Thanks to the work of online fans and internet harassments, the studio felt it was going to lose money on the project and reeled back the release allowing for the design department to give us a more cartoony but less frightening alien monster. I mean he’s a cartoon, it’s okay for him to look like a cartoon. 

Best Scene: Noodle Dance

It’s hard to choose, and it feels a bit biased, but there are a few scenes with Dr. Robotnik that are just what make the movie more than a forgettable IP adaptation. Not that Ben Schwartz wasn’t doing great as the character but I feel Sonic as a whole would be lost in the milieu of CG spectacles and Super Hero Origin stories that we are bombarded with every year if not for Jim Carey’s performances; and even with them Sonic: The Hedgehog is not completely out of those woods. That said, I think Dr. Robotnik’s Alone Time Dance Party has to be the stand out sequence in my memory. I can’t really speak to what makes it so enjoyable, but damn if it isn’t just the best scene in the movie.

Best Character: Silicon Valley Dr. Robotnik

Do I even need to say it? It’s Dr. Robotnik. I’m not a fan of this villain from any other media. I always found Dr. Robotniks look unappealing, I’m not a huge fan of his powers, or using robot henchman. it always struck me as pretty boring how Sonic didn’t have a cool rogues gallery (i’m talking about 90s sonic) the way Mario did. However, they did something with the design, characterization, and performance that just made him such a fun villain. Also, my friend Jacksons mom said I looked like him and it didn’t hurt my feelings so.

Best Actor: Jim Carey

Jim Carey. It really seems like he’s all I’m talking about in this movie. Once again, I think Ben Schwartz did great and Sonic IS basically Dewey Duck in this movie. Dewey Duck is my favorite part of the rebooted DuckTales series, BUT he is just outmaneuvered by Jim Carey in this role. I think it’s a compliment enough to say that Ben Schwartz was even able to keep up with his energy, let alone play his quicker perkier foil. 

Worst Scene: Toyota Tacoma Commercial

Sonic: the Hedgehog’s worst scene would probably have to be the forced friend fight between Sonic and Officer Wachowski  during the car chase. It’s an overproduced weightless car chase scene with a contrived buddy cop controversy meant to force apart our heroes so that they can ultimately grow a little and come back together later in the movie. Not that I mind a movie like this to be so by the numbers, but it just felt like two of the blandest things on this movies plate being forced into one scene. I do like the idea of giving me the crap part of the dish in one flavorless generic bite, but that still doesn’t save it from being the worst scene in the movie. 

That Toyota Tacoma took a beating though.

Worst Feature: Nothing Ventured/ Nothing Earned

I’m sure many fans would feel that the worst feature of the film is that it isn’t loyal to any previous lore laden version of the character, (probably the one they like the most). In the portrayals of both Sonic and Dr. Robotnik there were decisions made that drastically differed from the ways they have been portrayed before. Sonic is naïve and idealistic, a bit childish, Dr. Robotnik is driven by a lot of insecurity. Where are the Chaos Crystals and my original character Grindy the Wolf Cub?

But I think that these are over all positive choices in a film that otherwise chose to play it incredibly safe. In their cautious approach to appeal to the widest possible audience the film makers gave us a pleasant and appealing cartoon romp but we are left with little to hold on to. The worst feature of Sonic: The Hedgehog is it’s safety.

Summary:

Sonic: The Hedgehog is often touted as “the first good video game movie”. A label that I disagree with wholeheartedly. It is certainly a good video game movie, but it’s not the first, and it is not by leaps and bounds better than other video game movies as a whole. It’s a sub genre that gets a ton of disrespect, and in a world where the biggest criticism levied against the Super Mario Bros is that it’s not a faithful adaptation, I don’t understand how Sonic the Buddy Cop/ Road Trip comedy is escaping that attitude.

All that said, I had a good time with this movie. But it felt like playing on the playground as a toddler. You have fun and then you leave and you don’t really remember what you played or who with. I’ll think about Jim Carey and Dewey Duck, but I had a hard time hating or loving anything this movie did in any strong way. I usually feel that a movie that is “bad” or “corny” or “shlocky” is always better than a movie that is generic, or pointless, or boring. Sonics pleasantness and cheerful energy just barely save it from being another Transformers franchise. I get that origin stories are hard, so I’m eagerly awaiting the next installment, and hopefully it’s going to do something that sets it apart. Probably not. 

Overall Grade: C

James Marsden! I just remembered!

[chenle-dressed-in-black]

sapphire~        p. jinyoung

     This was a request! I went off the rails a little, but I hope that’s okay. It’s a scenario where the reader’s husband passed away (fair warning: there are mentions of death) leaving her with two kids. She’s starting to date Jinyoung, and her oldest daughter is now in a constant state of rebellion because of it. It’s really just a wholesome, bittersweet mother-daughter story with Jinyoung being husband material. Enjoy that lol.

m.list

     “I have to take a rain check on dinner,” you say into the phone. Your cellphone’s in one hand and your son is in the other. He’s contentedly nibbling on a plastic toy meant to soothe his gums. Teething is a real bitch. “Ivy hasn’t come home yet and she’s not answering her phone.” 

     You hear your boyfriend sigh on your behalf. “Do you want me to come over? I could watch Adrian if you need to look for her.” 

     “She’ll come home,” you say. “Ivy is only doing this to get under my skin.” 

     “Because of me.” 

     You set Adrian down in his little blue Bumbo seat. He makes a face like he’s about to cry, then laughs in your face. “It’s not your fault, Jinyoung.” 

     “If I weren’t in the picture—”

     “She’d find another way to take out her grief,” you explain, tickling one of Adrian’s tiny feet. His legs go flying around and you can’t resist cracking a smile. “You’re the easiest thing for her to hate.” 

     “I’m really sorry, Y/N.” Based on his tone, he sounds like he should be putting a deflated hand on his forehead about now. “I don’t want to cause your daughter any more pain than she’s already had to deal with.” 

     You’re about to tell Jinyoung that he’s not causing anyone any pain when you hear a car pull in your driveway. In a second, you’ll hear Ivy’s keys dangle against the front door as she unlocks it. “She’s here; I’ll call you later.” 

     “Good luck.” 

     You poke Adrian’s nose. “Thanks.” 

     It’s the look on your daughter’s face that pisses you off more than anything else. Ivy strides into the kitchen nonchalantly like she hasn’t just come home two hours after her curfew. “Hey.” 

     “Why are you doing this?” You look at her sternly. “This isn’t like you, Ivy, and you know it.” 

     She crosses her arms. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

     “Listen to yourself, sweetheart.” Your face softens. “You won’t make me yell at you. You’re not doing this to be a bad kid. Try to piss me off, but it won’t work. All you’re doing is making me feel disappointed.” 

     “You don’t know anything! Stop treating me like a baby!”

     “Do not raise your voice in front of him.” You motion toward Adrian, who has stopped chewing his plastic toy. He’s staring at her with wide, clueless eyes. “Make my life harder all you want, but don’t you dare put him under any stress.” 

     For a second, Ivy actually looks taken aback and even regretful. Her walls rise more quickly than they fell, though. “Whatever.” 

     You hold out an expectant hand. “Give me your keys. Now.”

     “That’s so unfair.” 

     “No,” you object. “What’s unfair is how—for the last two hours—I didn’t know if you were dead or alive.”

     Ivy rolls her dark eyes. “You’re so dramatic.” 

     “And you’re so grounded.” You close your extended hand and open it again in emphasis. “Give it, unless you want to tell me where you were for the last two hours.” 

     Reluctantly, she plops her colorful keys into your hand. You take out your phone and send Jinyoung a quick text. Could you stop by after all, if you don’t mind? I want to take Ivy on a drive. After he lets you know that he’s on his way, you put your phone away. Your daughter is staring at you like you have three heads. “Put your shoes back on. We’re going for a drive. Jinyoung’s gonna watch Adrian.” 

     “Of course he is.” Ivy doesn’t move an inch toward her shoes. “Whatever excuse you can use to get him in the door, right?” 

     You send her a careful, unforgiving look. “If I were you, I’d shut my mouth about now.”

     A few minutes of passive-aggressive silence and strange baby noises later, you see headlights. You thank Jinyoung for coming so quickly, leaving him with a grateful kiss on the cheek. Ivy makes a fake vomiting sound. Your husband’s only buried ten minutes away, in a churchyard full of people he’s related to. When she realizes where you’re taking her, she sucks in a sharp breath, but doesn’t have any smart ass comments to spit out. 

     You step out of the car and head towards his gleaming gravestone. Even in the dark, it’s easy to find. You could make it to his little spot in the corner in your sleep. Putting a steady hand to the top of the smooth stone, you take the deepest breath of your life. Ivy is paralyzed by silence and stillness behind you, but you can hear her irregular breathing. 

     “From the moment I met your father, I knew I would fall in love with him.” You turn to her, meeting her uncertain, glassy eyes. “He was the one for me. I am always going to love him. Miss him. Sometimes, I still can’t even believe he’s really gone.” 

     She’s crying now. “Me neither.” 

     “I’ve thought about it a lot, and I figured something out.” You press something cold and unwavering into her hand. 

     Ivy opens her fingers and her eyes widen when she sees a shining ring. It’s a deep blue, like the ocean at night. “Is this—”

     You nod. “Sapphire. Your birthstone. Your dad has this made when you were just a baby . . . younger than Adrian. It was supposed to be a graduation present, or maybe a bridal gift.”

     Her hand is frozen as if she were afraid that if she moved, it would vanish. “So why are you giving it to me now?”

     “You think I’m moving on too fast. With Jinyoung. But you’re wrong, Ivy. I’m not moving on at all—your father isn’t really gone. He’s still here.” You twirl your wedding band around your finger. “I’ll never stop wearing this ring. Not even if I marry Jinyoung one day. This ring reminds me that he’s always with me.”

     Ivy slips her own ring onto one of her fingers. It fits perfectly. “You really believe that?”

     “With all my heart.” You throw your arms around her. “I can feel him in everything I do. He’s always going to be right by your side, Ivy. You know he would want me to be happy. To move on. Jinyoung makes me so happy.” 

     Her crying continues. “Dad would love him, you know.”

     “You think so?” You pull back enough to see her red face. 

     She nods roughly. “He’s so good to you. And even Adrian loves him. The kid always begs Jinyoung to pick him up with his best puppy-dog eyes. Oh, god, he must hate me. I’ve been such a bitch to him.” 

     “You have been,” you agree, chuckling with her as you push some of her hair behind her ear. “But he loves you. He feels so bad, because he thinks that he makes things harder for you. Also, don’t ever let me hear you cuss again.”

     “Got it.” 

                                                ~~~

     When the two of you get home, Jinyoung is half-asleep with Adrian curled into his lap with a look of satisfaction. Ivy was right; he does love Jinyoung. You pick your son up and nudge your eyebrows at Ivy before heading for your bedroom. It’s time to breastfeed Adrian so you can put him to bed. You can still hear every word in the living room. 

     “Jinyoung,” says Ivy quietly. “I’m sorry I’ve been so mean to you. I know you’re just trying to do right by my mom.” 

     “It’s okay,” he replies in his usual, gentle voice. “I understand. I don’t want you to think that I’d ever try to replace your father. I’m not him and I promise I’ll never pretend to be. I’m so sorry about what happened to him.” 

     “I know. Thank you.” You hear a smile in her voice. “And I promise not to tell you go back to your own house, again.” 

     Their soft laughter is the best thing you’ve heard in a long time. Ivy goes up the stairs, closing her bedroom door. A moment later, Jinyoung pokes his head into your room. He covers his eyes when he sees you breastfeeding, but you laugh. 

     “Sorry,” he says, hands still over his face. “I didn’t know you were . . .”

     “It’s fine and I’m almost done. Breastfeeding is a natural thing. Women literally do it in public.” You’re done now. You walk over to him with Adrian in your arms. ��Besides, nothing you haven’t seen before.” 

     His face is on fire. You kiss his flushed cheek. “Don’t get too excited, Park Jinyoung; I still have to put him to bed.” 

     You’re walking down the hall when he calls out, “I wasn’t excited!”

     “I’m only teasing.” You force yourself not to laugh at your own words. “. . . unless you don’t want me to be.”

In a perfect impression of your daughter, he pretends to vomit.

[heauxplesslydevoted]

‘Tis The Season

So I’ve had this sitting in my google docs since December 1st. I thought it was time to get my life in order and post something now that the semester is done beating my ass.

Summary: Ethan and Naomi get ready to celebrate their first Christmas together

Warnings: Rated M. Things get a little steamy, but nothing explicit. It’s mostly fluff.

Tags: @drakewalker04 @canknot @lapisreviewsstuff @akacalliope @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @ramseyandrys @choicesobsessedd @a-i-n-a-a-s-h @sparklinglilac  @cream-ray @perriewinklenerdie @barricades-of-fandom @dr-brianna-casey-valentine @doroshi-desu @aworldoffandoms

~~

After a long day of work, there’s nothing Ethan wants more than a drink, a hot shower to knock the December chill out of his body, and to settle into bed with his girlfriend.

But when he crosses the threshold to his condo, he’s met with Eartha Kitt’s version of Santa Baby and the smell of peppermint and pine. Jenner doesn’t greet him at the door like he usually does, and he finds the golden retriever in the living room, chewing on a new toy.

His eyes sweep across the room, noticing it for the first time. There’s a bare Christmas tree in the corner, surrounded by tons of shopping bags. “What on earth is going on here?” Jenner looks up at his owner and trots over, dropping his toy at Ethan’s feet. Ethan bends down and scratches him behind the ears.“Hi boy. What’s this? Did you get a new toy?” Jenner barks excitedly. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

It’s uncharacteristically quiet in the apartment. And usually his girlfriend would’ve come out to greet him by now, if she made it home before him. “Where’s Naomi?”

Jenner turns and starts walking towards Ethan and Naomi’s bedroom. Ethan follows him. They end up in the bedroom, where Ethan finds Naomi, wearing a bright red onesie.

“Rookie, what are you doing?”

Naomi looks up and sees Ethan. She jumps out of the bed and rushes to him. “Ethan, you’re home! Finally.”

“Does this have anything to do with why our apartment looks like the North Pole?”

“Maybe.” Naomi kisses Ethan’s cheek before taking his hand and leading him back to the living room. “We’re only 9 days away from Christmas, single digit territory, and since I’m staying in Boston instead of going home for the holiday, I thought this place could use a little Christmas cheer. So I went a little crazy at Target.”

Ethan chuckles at the understatement. “I can tell.”

Naomi eyes Ethan warily. “Are you mad?”

“What?”

“I know I didn’t talk to you about any of this, but I just thought it’d be nice. It’s our first holiday as a couple who’s living together and I wanted it to be a special occasion.”

“I’m not mad,” Ethan says. “A little surprised though. It was a shock to walk in on all of this.”

“Really?” Relief floods Naomi’s features and she smiles brightly. 

“Really. It’s your home too, you should feel comfortable decorating it.”

“So does that mean you’ll help me decorate?”

The last thing Ethan wants to do is decorate a Christmas tree, but the smile on Naomi’s face is all it takes for him to cave. He’ll do anything to make her happy, even if it means putting up decorations. He sighs. “Just give me 30 minutes to shower and change, okay?”

“Deal.”

~~V~~~

“I don’t know how I’m the one who got suckered into decorating the tree,” Ethan grumbles lightheartedly. Naomi is in the kitchen and he’s untangling Christmas lights. “This was supposed to be a team effort.”

“I’ll be back there in a second!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!”

“I will!”

Ethan turns his attention back to the tree. It was fake, but Naomi still managed to get a good one. It was pretty tall–standing at about 7 feet–and it was full. Part of him wishes she would’ve gotten a pre-lit tree so he wouldn’t be stuck untangling lights. After successfully untangling them all and draping them over the tree, Ethan is ready to move on to the next step.

“Where are all of the ornaments?”

“In the bag on the couch.”

Ethan walks over to the bag and rummages through it. Naomi’s aesthetic is perfectly clear, all the ornaments either red, gold, or green. There are also a few gold and red bows.

Before Ethan can tear into the first box of ornaments, Naomi enters the living room, holding two large mugs. “Voila! Naomi Valentine’s world famous hot chocolate.”

Ethan takes a mug. “World famous, huh?”

“Yup. Go on, take a sip.”

Ethan eyes the mug before taking a cautious sip. The familiar sting of alcohol and...mint burns his throat and he coughs. “Why didn’t you tell me this was alcoholic?”

“Because it’d ruin the surprise. I mixed in a bit of peppermint vodka.”

“A bit?”

“A lot,” Naomi corrects. “There’s a lot of vodka in these.”

The corner of Ethan’s mouth quirks up into a slight smirk and he takes another sip. He can’t deny that the drink is good, really good. “I can handle it. Good job, Rookie.”

“Ooh, I get Ethan Ramsey’s seal of approval.”

“Just this once.” Taking another quick sip, Ethan places his mug on top of a coaster. “Now let’s finish with this tree, shall we?”

“I have something I want to show you.” Naomi puts her mug down so she can rummage through the bags. After a bit of digging, she pulls out a tiny ornament and gives it to Ethan. It’s a tiny clipboard and prescription pad. “I know it’s kind of cheesy, but I saw it and couldn’t resist. It’s perfect, since we’re both doctors–”

Ethan cuts Naomi off with a quick kiss. “It’s adorable. I like it.”

“I also ordered these a few weeks back.” Naomi hands Ethan another bag, this time full of personalized Christmas stockings. There’s one for both of them and another one for Jenner, his in the shape of a dog bone.

That manages to get a smile out of him. He can already picture Jenner anxiously anticipating whatever treats and toys Naomi is going to fill his stocking with. “You go all out for the holiday, Valentine.”

“It’s the best time of the year. I can’t help but feel excited.”

The couple finishes decorating their tree, telling stories about their day, and the interesting cases that Ethan encountered.

When they’re done with the tree and other decorations — as if Naomi wasn’t going to put lights, garland, and mini figurines on every other surface of the apartment — they take a step back to admire their handiwork.

“I think we did good, Ramsey,” Naomi says as she looks at the tree, the lights bouncing off of the large floor to ceiling windows.

Ethan looks around and nods. His apartment has never been decorated for the holidays before, and while it’s different, it’s a good difference. “I agree.”

“There’s just one more thing.” Naomi scans the floor which is currently littered in bags and boxes. She finds what she’s looking for, a bright red Santa hat and she plops it on her head.

Ethan can’t contain his snort. “You look ridiculous.”

“Okay first of all, I’m freaking adorable. Second, that’s not a nice thing to say to Santa,” Naomi teases.

“Sorry Santa.”

“Sit down,” Naomi urges, a finger poking at Ethan’s shoulder.

Ethan resists the urge to roll his eyes, but he listens anyway and sits down on their couch. Naomi throws herself down dramatically into his lap.

“So tell me young man, what do you want for Christmas?” Naomi asks, leaning fully into their Santa role play.

“If you’re Santa, why are you sitting on my lap?” Ethan shoots back, an eyebrow slightly raised. “Shouldn’t this be the other way around?”

“Santa needs to switch it up every once in a while,” Naomi says with a shrug.

“You’re a dork sometimes.”

“You love it.”

“I love you.”

Naomi doesn’t verbally answer, opting to instead pull Ethan into a kiss. He responds, one hand going to the small of her back. The other hand attempts to grip her thigh, but it’s met with nothing but bright red fleece. He wants to touch her. Why was she wearing this god forsaken one piece?

His hand digs deeper into her skin, almost willing it to break through the clothing and Naomi moans, a throaty noise which he quickly swallows. The hand on her back pulls her in as close as humanly possible and his arousal presses into the back of her thigh.

Naomi whimpers, quickly losing control of the situation. “Ethan…”

Ethan breaks the kiss, only to leave open mouthed kisses along the column of her neck. “I must’ve been excellent this year to be rewarded with a beautiful girlfriend who makes sounds like that.” Frantically, he tugs at the zipper of her pajamas and yanks it aggressively. His throat goes dry when he’s greeted by nothing but her bare chest. “You never have on a bra.”

“Why would I? I was home alone,” Naomi says, feeling the need to defend herself. “It’s a miracle I’m actually this covered up.”

Ethan reaches out to pull the clothes off of his girlfriend but he settles on zipping it down just enough, pushing it off of her shoulders, kissing the newly exposed flesh.

“Can I let you in on a little secret?” Naomi asks.

“Please do.”

“I don’t have any underwear on either.”

Ethan’s eyes darken and a low growl escapes him. He reaches for the zipper, only for Naomi to grasp his wrist. “What? What’s wrong?”

“You’re not the one in charge here. I still have the Santa hat on,” Naomi says, her eyes taking on a mischievous glint. She repositions herself, swinging a leg over his hip so she can straddle him. “So tell me, Ethan Jonah Ramsey,” she kisses Ethan again, a hand traveling under his shirt, reveling in the warmth of his skin under her fingers, “have you been naughty or nice this year?”

She kisses along his jaw and Ethan momentarily forgets the English language. “N-nice. I’ve been nice.”

“I happen to agree. Good.” Naomi’s lips capture Ethan’s ear and she grazes it between her teeth. He lets out a shaky breath, trying to keep his composure. “Want to know why that’s good?”

“Yes.” 

Naomi rolls her hips against Ethan, smirking as his head slightly falls forward at the friction. She does it again and she hears the older man curse under his breath. “Because Santa likes to reward good boys, with lots and lots of treats.”

Before she can move another muscle, she’s flat on her back, Ethan having flipped them over. She falls into the couch cushions with a soft thud.

“What’re you–” Ethan cuts off the question with another searing kiss, stealing the breath out of her lungs. His tongue parts her lips and she quickly grants him entrance, letting him set the tone for the kiss. It’s deep and deliberate and thank god she’s already on her back because her legs feel like Jell-O. He tastes like a candy cane, a consequence of the hot chocolate they consumed.

After pulling away, Ethan plucks the hat off of Naomi’s head and puts it on his own. “I think I’ve had enough of being teased.” His fingers find Naomi’s zipper and drags it down slowly. He watches as she squirms in impatience. “So...Naomi Marie Valentine, have you been naughty or nice?”

A shiver runs down her spine and Naomi doesn’t know if it’s due to the fact that it’s currently 23 degrees in Boston or the bass in Ethan’s voice as he used her full name. “I’ve been a very good girl this year.”

“No,” Ethan argues. He lazily trails a hand from her waist up the smooth expanse of her stomach. He chuckles lightly at how tense she is, trying not to react to his touch.

His large hand skates past her breast, barely grazing her nipple, but it hardens anyway and she arches into his touch, craving more. But the word Ethan just spoke finally permeates her brain and she looks up at him. “No?”

“No,” he repeats firmly. Finally reaching its destination, his hand settles at her throat, giving it a light squeeze. The hungry look Naomi gives him is confirmation enough. “No, I know you, and I think you’re absolutely naughty.”

Naomi takes the hand wrapped around her throat and puts his thumb in her mouth, sucking it before releasing it with a soft pop. “Well I have one question for you, Santa.”

“Ask away.”

“Are you going to punish me in our bedroom or right under the Christmas tree?”

~~V~~

It’s hours later when Ethan and Naomi are finally able to pull away from each other. They’re still in the living room, somehow on the floor instead of on the couch where it all started, a warm blanket thrown over them.

Ethan’s fingers absentmindedly find their way into Naomi’s hair, messing with the soft curls. He’s deep in his actually, only to be pulled out by a loud screech coming from his television. He looks up and sees Will Ferrell running around. “What on earth are we watching, Rookie?”

“Elf!” Naomi cranes her neck to look up at Ethan, who’s just staring back blankly. “Come on, you’ve never seen Elf before?”

“That has to be a rhetorical question.”

“This movie is 16 years old, it might as well be a classic at this point!”

“Never seen it.”

“Gosh, you’re so uncultured.”

“16 years ago, I was still an undergrad. My head was buried in biology and calculus textbooks.”

“It’s one of my favorite Christmas movies. My mom and I watch it together every year. It’s our tradition.”

“Are there any other Valentine family traditions I should know about?”

“We would have a competition every Christmas Eve to see who makes the best gingerbread houses. Naturally, my brother and I win every year because we’re the best. And if we’re hosting the holiday at our house, all of our family comes over, and my mom and aunts get drunk on wine and do karaoke.”

“What kind of music?”

“Mostly Motown.” Naomi laughs at the memory. “They love to sing The Supremes, and they always fight over who gets to do all of Diana Ross’s parts. Then they eventually tire and pass out in the living room. But it’s hilarious, because none of them can hold a note to save their lives. I’m sure I have videos saved on my computer, and if not, my cousins definitely do.”

“I would pay top dollar to see that.”

“What about you? Did the Ramseys have any fun holiday traditions?”

Ethan thinks back to his childhood. He remembers getting a lot of gifts — mostly picked out by his dad’s secretary — but he didn’t have any fond memories, not like Naomi. “No. My sister and I would open up our gifts, then my dad would lock himself in his study and work. Every once in a while my mom would try to get all four of us to do something, maybe go visit my grandparents in Long Island, but nothing special.”

He goes quiet for a long time and Naomi frowns. She didn’t mean to make him feel bad with her line of questions. She knows his relationship with his family is pretty touchy and she wants to kick herself for even opening up the can of worms.

She turns slightly and kisses his chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you didn’t have the best time growing up. I’m sorry if talking about your past brought up some old feelings.”

“I’m fine,” Ethan insists. “I’m just thinking.”

Naomi rolls over fully and props herself up by her elbows. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“This will be the first time I’ve actually celebrated Christmas since I was 18. I usually spend the holiday at the hospital, working. But with you here, I won’t be doing that.”

“We get to start our own traditions. From here on out, we’ll decorate the condo together every year.”

“And as for the post-decorating activities?”

“Only if you’ve been nice,” Naomi quips.

“We’ll see if that’s amendable.”

“Every year, I’ll buy us a new ornament. One that only an inside thing for the two of us. And  on Christmas morning, we can have a nice breakfast together, open gifts, and just laze around.”

“That sounds perfect, Rookie.”

Naomi settles back into Ethan’s arms, deeply sated and surprisingly comfortable on their spot on the floor. His heartbeat is steady against her cheek and she feels herself losing the fight against her sleepiness.

But before she falls asleep, she speaks again, “Hey, Ethan?”

“Yes?”

“You never answered my question earlier,” Naomi replies. “What do you want for Christmas?”

Ethan silently mulls over the question. He doesn't really need or want anything, having reached a point where he could buy whatever he wanted, whenever.

He looks down at Naomi, who’s surely dozing off on top of him, despite her insistence on watching this movie. He kisses the top of her head. “Nothing. Everything I want is right here.”

[maknaesdancersrappers]

Attempt #13: Give them space

<< the twelfth attempt

wc: 3k

“I’ve never skipped school before.” You confessed as Taeyong led you out the school’s main building by the hand. The school was pretty lenient about students coming in and out as they please as long they swiped their ID’s for security purposes at the entry/exit points.

He lets go of your hand and turns to you, “You don’t want to leave?”

“I… I mean,” You already had your bags with you, taking your ID out, “Where would we go?”

He’s pensive for a second, “I have a place in mind.”

Taeyong doesn’t hold your hand when he leads the way and you’re grateful for that, he must have guessed the root of your problems already. He ignores your questions about where you two were heading off to, hopping onto the bus, and asks about the upcoming Jeju trip after finding a seat. He’s careful about mentioning Jaehyun, skirting around any topic that could possibly bring him into the conversation.

After half an hour, you get off and walk a few minutes until you reached an animal shelter.

“A shelter?”

Taeyong nods, “They’re all rescues; the shop is always looking for volunteers to help around. When I’m sad, I come here to be surrounded by puppies or kittens that just wants to love a human.”

He leads you inside and he greets the man behind the register, bowing slightly and you follow after him.

“Taeyong-ah! Isn’t it a little too early for school to be out?”

“Ah… it is, but it’s sort of an emergency.” He gestures to you, “My friend is sad and I know a few little friends who can help.”

You offer a polite smile to the man when his attention is brought over to you and he exclaims, “Oh! You must be the girl Taeyong talks about! Jangmi—”

“No!” Taeyong cuts in, cheeks blushing and using both hands to dismiss him, “This is [Y/N], she’s just a friend.”

“My apologies! Hello, [Y/N]. I’m Dongju, the shelter’s general manager. The puppies have been bored with each other the last few days, I’m sure they’ll enjoy your company. Taeyong, don’t give them treats! They broke into their snack bin this morning so luckily for you, they’re all freshly bathed.”

The phone rings and Dongju gestures for them to head on back while he answers the call. You follow Taeyong to the back door that leads to an open space with multiple play areas for the animals. There were puppies chasing each other that stopped when Taeyong opened up the fence to let you in and started running towards him.

Your heart melted at them, dropping to your knees when some of them paid attention to you instead and jumped onto your lap to lick your face. “Oh my god! They’re so cute!”

He sat beside you, trying to entertain three pups at once. “That’s Pretty, she’s been here the longest.”

The small dog was white with a light dusting of tea colored fur on her ears that spread out to the top of her head. She was soft, too, forcing your hand to pet her by nudging her head under your palm. “Hello, Pretty.”

She sits on your lap and just looks up at you, panting with her tongue out while her tail wagged vigorously.

Taeyong introduces to the pups he remembers, telling their back stories and things they liked and hated, funny anecdotes he knows of them. Both of you played with them — throwing sticks, discs, and balls for them to fetch, handing them chew toys — until they were tired and napped around your seated bodies.

With a mixed Jindo pup named Geumgang on your lap drifted off, you curiously asked, “So you talk about Jangmi with the people here?”

He looks away from, probably hiding the color rising to his cheeks, “They’ve been trying to match me up with their sisters or nieces when I first started volunteering here. I only used her as an excuse so the matchmaking won’t push through, but… in the end, I couldn’t stop talking about her.”

Silence befalls both of you, letting the sound of nature and distant car engines take over. A few pups snored and whimpered in their sleeps when you spoke up again, “Aren’t you going to ask me what’s wrong?”

“Do you want me to?” Taeyong cards his fingers through the long fur of the pup beside him, “If it was enough to convince you to ditch school for the first time with a panic attack about to happen, then I’d rather wait until you’re ready to talk about it.”

“I kissed Jaehyun.” You blurted out, waking up Geumgang, who moved off your lap to continue his slumber.

He smirks at you, “Nice.”

“No, not nice!”

“Oh, okay… not nice.” He wipes the grin off his face and clears his throat, “Uh, what happened?”

You pull your knees up and hugged them to your chest, “I mean, the kiss was nice, but… I pulled away in panic a-and when I turned around Jangmi was there and she was crying and—”

“Jangmi was crying?”

You nod, burying your face in the crevice between your knees, “God! I told you! They don’t have to tell me. I know they’re dating! You should have seen their faces— Jaehyun’s after I kissed him and Jangmi’s when she caught us. He must have been weirded out with me… he didn’t even chase after me.”

Taeyong is quiet as you simmered in your emotions, replaying the entire situation in your head despite yourself. After awhile he shakes his head, “No, [Y/N], I think Jangmi was crying because of me.”

“You,” You sniffed, “What did you do?”

He lets out a heavy sigh, “I might have snapped at her. I just… panic when she’s too close or being too friendly. It’s either I think I don’t deserve her or my paranoia from middle school is still lingering.”

You watched him fold his legs like you did and leaned his chin on one of his knees, “She came up to me after our class and asked me to join you guys for lunch so it wouldn’t be awkward on Sunday — and I would have agreed if she hadn’t said Yebin sent her. She terrifies me — Yebin, I mean. She has the same vibes as the guy who liked Jangmi back in middle school.”

“What did you say to her?”

“To stop trying to force me into her friend group.” He mumbles, “Stop acting so buddy-buddy with me… I might have asked something along the lines of why they didn’t send you instead.”

“Oh, Taeyong.” You lightly scolded, “I think you’ve gone too far.”

He exhales harshly, clicking his tongue, “Well, that’s my mess to deal with. Now you know that she was crying because of me, not because she caught you and Jaehyun. Where did she see you guys?”

“The greenhouse.”

“The greenhouse,” Taeyong repeats, “The one she likes to sneak off to.”

You drop your head in embarrassment at the realization of what he was trying to say. Jangmi was crying and they were at the one place in school she can run off to for some peace of mind.”Okay, she wasn’t crying because of us, but… how about Jaehyun’s reaction? His face was just… surprised… not in the good way and when he said my name… he sounded so concerned like… an older brother talking to his younger sibling.”

He snorts at you, prompting you to punch his shoulder. “I’m sorry! Listen, I promise you that the last thing he’ll see you as is a sibling.”

“How do you know?”

“No,” He laughs, “How do you not know?”

“Whatever! I know what I saw and I felt it.” You check your phone for the time, seeing one text from Jaehyun. 

“We need to talk about what happened, but only when you’re ready.”

The thing is, you might never be ready to talk about it. You’re hoping it could blow over and both of you would just forget it ever happened. “I should get home before Jaehyun arrives.”

There was an hour of school left when you get home and it gave you a sense of relief to know Jaehyun wasn’t home yet. As you trekked up to your floor, you faltered a step when you catch someone waiting outside your door. If weren’t for her ponytail, you would have ran away thinking it was Jaehyun.

You approached Jangmi as she leaned on the front door, spaced out as she stared at the ground until you meekly greeted her and she jerked upright.

“[Y/N].” She pauses, “I’m probably one of the last people you want to talk to right now, but if I didn’t say anything I don’t think I’d be able to sleep tonight.”

“Okay. Let’s go in?”

After unlocking the front door and letting her in, you ask her if she wanted anything to drink or eat and she only wanted water. You usher her to sit on the couch before grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen, setting it on the coffee table with a coaster when you returned.

“I’m sorry.” She starts as soon as you sat down, “I didn’t mean to walk into… you and Jaehyun. I didn’t think you two were going to be there that day.”

“N-no, it’s okay… you gave me a reason to leave.” You remember Taeyong’s words from a while ago, “Are you okay now?”

Her lashes flutter as she comes up with a response and the glint in her eyes tell you that she’s not. You might not have known her as long as Joohyun and the others, but you don’t think you’ve seen her so… upset before.

“Am I unlikeable? You probably hate me.”

You immediately shake your head to rebuff her accusation, “No! Not at all— I think you’re the hardest person to hate in school. Why would you ever think that?��

Jangmi falls back into the seat and twiddles the hem of her skirt between her fingers. “I used to be jealous of you, you know.”

“Me?” Did you hear her wrong?

She nods, pressing her lips into a thin line. “You’ve been hanging out with Taeyong these days… He’s not exactly the most social person so it comes off as a surprise to me. The only reasons I can come up with as to why he suddenly changed is because either likes you—”

“He doesn’t! I swear, we’ve talked about it—”

“Then it’s to keep me away.” She cuts you off and you’re taken aback by her statement. She chuckles, mostly to herself, “I’m sure he’s either told you himself or you asked about our past in middle school; how I confessed to him and he rejected me.”

Jangmi’s voice cracks at the last words; her jaw tense for a moment until she releases an exasperated breath and lets her face fall into her open palms.

Instinctively, you put your hand on her shoulder to comfort her but you don’t know what to say.

“You must think I’m so pathetic for still being hung up from a stupid crush I had from middle school.” She softly cries, “But I really tried to forget about him; I tried to date other guys and he even transferred to a different school! But it got worse when he left and I was so miserable, [Y/N]! Yeah, he rejected me, but at least I still get to see him at school. Even though we live across each other, we barely cross paths because he’s either cooped out playing computer games or out at the PC rooms — playing computer games.”

“I even transferred into your school to follow him and I don’t know if it’s mean of me to say that I was relieved to find out he still hasn’t dated anyone… until that stupid auction happened and he got a date with you.” She glances at you with eyes teary and wary, “So I was jealous of you… but what’s my right to be? Taeyong was never mine to begin with. He can like whoever he wants, even if it’s not me.”

“I’m so sorry, Jangmi. But I really don’t like Taeyong that way… and please believe me when I tell you that he doesn’t either.” You bite down on your lip, not wanting to confess for Taeyong.

She manages to give you a small smile, “I believe you… only because I know you like Jaehyun.”

“What— how’d you—”

“Back when you sang on stage with him, I had an inkling and then when I got closer to you two, how you two interacted just confirmed it.” Jangmi finally takes a sip of the water you brought her. “I guess it helps that I’m in the same position as you; in love and all. It’s like looking in a mirror.”

You make eye contact with her and she shrugs, “But you still have a chance.”

“With Jaehyun?” You asked, incredulously, “No, I… He doesn’t… He likes you.”

This makes Jangmi laugh; heartily enough that even you would have joined her if you weren’t talking about Jaehyun’s feelings. “No, he doesn’t. Trust me, that day we met up for the date I got; we made our intentions very clear. We don’t like each other that way.”

You should have been relieved by what she’s telling you, but it still doesn’t explain Jaehyun’s reaction after you kissed him. “Why did you… bet 800 on him for a date, by the way?”

“There was a girl that I butt heads with before the event started and she had her eyes set on Jaehyun.” Jangmi recoils at the memory, “It wasn’t my best moment to be so petty and stoop down so low like that… but at least I can assure you that Jaehyun is all yours, right?”

“I… I don’t know. What happened in the greenhouse… I just want to forget about it.”

“You don’t want to be anything more with him?”

You let your posture slump over, defeated by the conflict of your heart and mind. “O-of course, I do, but when I pulled away from him, he just looked… alarmed?”

“This isn’t a romance novel or romcom movie, [Y/N]. Almost anyone who is kissed out of the blue by the person they least expect would be surprised — especially if you pulled away so abruptly.” She says with a slight tease in her tone before turning solemn, “I just wish I hadn’t interrupted you two. You didn’t even give him a chance to talk. You were out there so quickly.”

“I panicked.” You admitted, “I was just so convinced that you two were secretly dating and with all the kissing and you catching us while crying… my mind just came up with the entire scenario and stuck with it.”

“So you’ll talk to him about it?”

“Eventually. I just need time and space to… recollect my thoughts about everything.”

Jangmi stares at you, blinking repeatedly as if you sprouted a new head.

“What?”

“Nothing… It’s just… He said the same thing.” She shrugs, “I wanted to run after you but he stopped me because he knew you needed time to think about it.”

For a few minutes, you both sat in silence; processing everything you’ve talked about. Not wanting to end the conversation with a somber mood, you asked if she had skipped classes to wait for her and she tells you that she did after finding out from other students they saw you leaving with Taeyong. 

She receives a text and she shows it to you.

“She hasn’t replied. I told you. I’ll have to wait until she’s ready to talk about it.”

“You should really tell him how you feel.” She quietly comments, closing her phone.

It’s not like you had a choice at this point. You initiated the kiss; you can’t pass that off as a ”caught in the moment” type of thing and still claim to having platonic feelings for him. “I’m just scared of the consequences. What if he rejects me like Taeyong?”

“I confessed to Taeyong because I had nothing to lose. You and Jaehyun have years of friendship between the two of you; you can’t just lose all of that for a confession. He’ll always love you — and I know because he told me himself. He’d always try to choose you over anything.”

At the little phrase he keeps telling you, you knew she wasn’t saying things to cheer you up. “He told you that?”

“He makes me wish I had a best friend like him.”

Next door, you hear Jay barking and you’re sure that Jaehyun was home now. A quick glance at the wall clock tells you that you and Jangmi had been conversing for an hour.

“I should probably go.” Jangmi starts, picking up her bag and putting it on. You stand up with her and she holds your hand, “Thanks for listening to me. I came here to explain myself, but I think I ended up overstaying.”

“No!” You dismissed, holding her other hand, “I’m glad you came over. You answered a lot of questions I don’t even know how to ask in the first… I’m sorry about the whole Taeyong misunderstanding.”

“And I’m sorry about the Jaehyun misunderstanding.”

You pull her into a hug, which she graciously accepts. As you pull away, you hum, “Uhm… in case that Jaehyun gets… impatient with me, can you distract him? Especially if I’m still not ready.”

“Of course.” She coyly smiles at you and playfully winks, “But if I personally think that it’s been way too long for you to quote-unquote think about things, then I won’t stand in his way.”

the fourteenth attempt >>

[popatochisssp]

Obviously no pressure, but if you wanted to share your ideas on house pets, there would be great interest from at least one person. But headcanons are closed and I totally respect that (this very ask aside sorry). No pressure to do anything!!! just wanted to let you know that it seems like fun info.

Sans (Undertale): Strongly inspired by a fantastic fanfiction I can’t recommend enough, he has a cat affectionately named Catsup (Norwegian Forest Cat). Of course he does. Pretty typical story here, he more or less went to a shelter, locked onto the biggest, fattest cat there, and filled out the paperwork to damn her to a life of having a pun for a name. He...may have only gone to the shelter because he was hardcore struggling with depression and his brother read somewhere that pets can help a little, but that's...that’s neither here nor there. Catsup turned out to be a perfect fit for Sans in spite of his initial attitude of, 'I'm only doing this to make Papyrus happy'-- she's probably just about as chill and lazy as the skeleton himself, content to flop over just about anywhere, anytime and hang out. Her laidback nature was a blessing for Sans, a first-time cat-owner who didn't really know what he was doing or what she needed right away. A more high-maintenance cat probably wouldn't have been as forgiving and there'd have been a lot more stress on everybody before he got it figured out. Now, he considers Catsup his best little pal and doesn't even need to be reminded to change out her bowls and her litter. He's surprisingly responsible, when he actually really cares about something.

Catsup’s Quirks: Likes it when you gently slap her belly, always gravitates towards the room with the most people in it, often appears in unusual places that it seems like she shouldn't have been able to get to

Papyrus (Undertale): He...begrudgingly missed working with the Canine Unit once the Royal Guard was officially disbanded... It took him awhile to be able to openly admit he was interested in getting a dog, and when he did, he had standards-- it had to be a smart dog, one that could learn tricks and follow rules, unlike a certain annoying creature that’s plagued his life and home and special attacks in the past!!! So he did a lot of breed research, found a local, ethical breeder for the kind he was looking for, and went to pick out a pup. Spike (Border Collie), so named for his incredible coolness, is a perfect fit for his energetic skeleton friend and loves to run, exercise, and learn new tricks all the time!

Spike’s Quirks: Learned to wipe his feet before coming inside just by watching Papyrus do it, hams up his tricks and sometimes does them without prompting, never leaves the park without an impractically large stick to bring home

Sky (Underswap Sans): You will literally never get him to admit the real reason he got a dog companion because he knows in his heart of hearts that it’s such a silly reason... He saw a video online of a dog delicately eating a watermelon and while most people would’ve had a kneejerk reaction of, “I NEED TEN,” but not gotten any, he had the same reaction and just...talked himself down to one. And so came Poff (Samoyed), a big ol’ floofer who’s a lot like her master when it comes to levels of energy and affection. She’s happy to follow him around on patrols, training sessions, and even through obstacle course...so of course, she tends to get very dirty very quickly. Luckily, Sky’s diligence in grooming her keeps her coat as white and fluffy as her namesake!

Poff’s Quirks:  Loves baths, tap dances at the mention of treats, doesn't chew her toys and just hoards them instead

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): He wasn’t really in the market for a dog, himself. He was just along for the ride when his bro was picking up Poff, when he happened to hear the most hilarious sing-screaming sound he’d ever heard in his life. He followed it all the way to the little fellow who would soon be known as Smoochie (French Bulldog), and he sure seemed upset about...something? He never really figured out why, he was laughing too hard from hearing a sound like that come out of something so small and weird-looking. He didn't try to adopt Smoochie that day, much as he loved his sound, but he found himself going back to the shelter a couple times just to check on and play with him. After two or three months with no one else adopting the little prima-donna, he figured he might as well commit and take him home. He's a fun little dude and Paps hasn't regretted it for a second, but he's forever in denial about just how much of a Dog Dad he's become since. It's totally normal to carry your dog around in the hood of your sweatshirt, isn't it???

Smoochie’s Quirks: Screams a lot, will eat food out of peoples’ hands if they’re not paying attention, jumps higher than it seems like he should be able to

Jasper (Underfell Sans): Like most things in his life, he didn’t put a whole lot of planning or forethought into getting a dog. He was out one night, decently drunk, and a friend of a friend of a friend of a coworker was talking about this dumb dog he had that was supposed to be a guard dog but couldn't do it worth a damn because he was too friendly. The guy was yammering about how to get rid of it and something about that struck a chord with Jasper. It was pretty soon after monsters surfaced and maybe that's why it felt...important to him? He was probably just drunk and emotional and soft that he even stepped in or said anything, but it is what it is. He’s a skilled enough conman that it didn't take him long to talk the guy around in circles until he was willing to pay Jasper for the privilege of taking this animal off his hands and in short order, he was almost bowled over by the big dog that planted its paws on his shoulders at their first meeting. Jasper immediately renamed him from something cliché and 'intimidating' to Tubbs (Rottweiler) for how heavy the goofy bastard was and then brought him right home. His brother wasn't particularly pleased and swore he would not be caring for this beast, but he never had to; Jasper kinda missed having something trusting and affectionate to take care of, and Tubbs has been daddy's little fatty ever since.

Tubbs’ Quirks: Shreds even the heaviest duty toys, lays on people as if he were a lap dog, drools rivers if somebody's eating food around him

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): Who am I to defy literal years of fanon...? His first meeting with Doomfanger (Persian) was about as clichéd as it gets-- a scrawny, dingy, scraggly and matted cat scurrying out of an alley in the rain. She went right up to him and, well... it was love at first mew. He scooped her right up, bestowed a fittingly intimidating name upon her, and took her home with him, in spite of the fact that she looked more like a mutant rat than a cat at the time. After shaving the mats off, bathing the dirt away, and getting her some regular food, though, Doomy actually ends up being an exceedingly beautiful feline! He credits his attentive care and grooming for her pristine, silvery fluff and will brag about it at a moment's notice, but he's just ever so slightly in denial about her sweet and gentle nature. Doomfanger is a vicious killing machine, a true apex predator that nothing stands a chance against! That's...that’s obviously why he carries her around so much... And why he plucks her away from any other animal that comes near her like some sort of mother hen-- he's minimizing the bloodshed! If he let her loose, there would be no survivors!

Doomfanger’s Quirks: Meows in peeps, avid shadow-chaser, extremely receptive to handling

Mal (Swapfell Sans): Hey, anyone remember FGTC? This one cameo’d in that fic, she may seem familiar~ So...he wanted a pet. At first, he thought a cat would be good, fierce independent hunters that they’re reputed to be...but after spending time with a lot of cats and not really clicking with any, he was forced to concede that he was just more of a dog person. In hindsight, of course that’s what he was looking for: a loyal companion to (literally, ha!) dog his steps and follow his orders. Before he can actually, intentionally start looking for one, though, the universe works its magic and he finds one digging around in the garbage out behind the house. The emergency vet he brings the scarred and skeletal stray to tells him that, judging by her injuries, she was probably bait in some dog-fighting ring somewhere and got thrown away when she wasn’t useful anymore. Well. Fuck that, Princess (Pitbull) deserves better than that, and she’ll have it! He takes on the duty of nursing her back to health and earning her trust and it isn’t long before she shows her true colors as the loviest sweetheart of a dog that ever was. She’s utterly useless as an attack/guard dog, but her barks are loud and intimidating, and she obeys commands at the drop of a hat, so Mal doesn’t hold that against her. She goes with him just about anywhere she’s allowed and he shows her off with the same enthusiasm you’d expect for a pedigreed Best in Show dog.

Princess’ Quirks: Wags with her entire butt, will kiss the moment someone’s face is in range, barks at doorbells both real and on TV

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): He didn’t mean to get a cat, not really... He was just following along with his brother when Mal was kicking around the idea of getting one, and Mal may not have clicked with anybody there, but he sure did. Actually... Kitkat (Manx) may have picked him and he’s just along for the ride. Kitkat was kinda young at the time, a little smaller than all the rest and also...no tail??? But what a personality, loud and playful and super sweet and...when it was time to leave the shelter, he just...he couldn’t bring himself to do it without her, he was in love! It’s mutual, at least-- she latched right onto him pretty much instantly and is pretty much never not with him whenever he’s at home, following him around from room-to-room.

Kitkat’s Quirks: Bone-rattlingly loud purrs, loves to play fetch, prone to 3AM zest for life and zooming all around the house accordingly

Slate (Horrortale Sans): I actually wrote about this one! But the gist of it is...he likes cats. Eventually got confident enough to go get one and zeroed right in on the weirdest-looking, least adoptable cat in the shelter he volunteers at. Slinky (Cornish Rex) was deaf, kinda ugly, and a whole lotta weird, but hell, she’ll fit right in at home, yeah? And so she does! She wrecks a lotta shit and is loud as hell, but stuff is only stuff and Slate’s never had an issue with noise. Actually...she really helps him out with his sleep and focus issues, it’s hard to drop off or dissociate when you have a cat in your lap, yelling at you at batting your face because it’s Play Time or Dinner Time, wake the fuck up!!! She’s a bastardous gremlin, but he loves her to bits.

Slinky’s Quirks: Clumsy and bad at judging distances, loves ankle-looping, insists on sniffing all people-food but never actually tries to eat it

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): Following the trauma of the underground and the ensuing massive outpouring of empathy from humanity at large, monsters were made aware of many therapeutic resources that they could take advantage of, one of which was therapy animals. Papy naturally thought this was a wonderful idea...for other monsters, who were of course far more psychologically-damaged and not quite so good at enduring as himself. But...his brother does volunteer at an animal shelter, and he goes to visit him on occasion so he's made friends with a lot of animal people. This is how he hears about a therapy dog in need of a new forever-home due to complicated circumstances with her former owner, and well... it would be rude not to offer the Lady (Borzoi) a place to stay! He’s surprised by her appearance at first, having expected something more like a golden retriever or some kind of shepherd??? But he's very quickly charmed by her and actually feels more than a little bit of kinship with her no stranger to being long and oddly proportioned, himself-- and they're both doing their best to make it look graceful instead of weird. Since Lady proves to be a sweet and gentle-mannered dog, Papy just sort of...never bothers trying to find other accommodations for her. She’s welcomed wholeheartedly into their home, which she repays with plenty of unconditional love and effortless emotional support!

Lady’s Quirks: Spins in circles when excited, very polite when begging for table scraps, never barks but howls often

[huffpostarts]

The Very Best Holiday Presents For Dogs To Eat!

We've spent the last couple months testing as well as curating the most effective holiday gifts for dogs (and their individuals)-- and today's suggestions are all presents for your dog to EAT! If I needed to guess, I think today's possibly our dogs' favored day of the gift overview!

When it concerns screening edibles, I don't rely on the dogs. They do not have one of the most critical tastes. My initial step is to evaluate components to see if it's something I really feel comfortable giving them. Currently, I'm not a person that's "all health, constantly." I such as to balance a little bit of junk food from time to time. These victors, though, all rank actually very for being nutritious-- as well as I added our preferred supplements to balance out too many Christmas cookies. I had a tough time tightening it down, so right here are our favorite seven ideal holiday presents for dogs that they can EAT!

DGP

Let's kick this off with our supplement fave. I've covered this before, and if you have a dog with joint troubles or you simply desire preventative care, this is the one for you. DGP is all about sustaining flexibility as well as versatility, as well as if your dog is already on a glucosamine-type supplement, it can be included in provide extra support. Lucas has bad hips, as well as he's beginning to get a bit older-- though he appears unaware of that-- as well as likes to play at dog daycare eventually a week. It was taking its toll on his joints, but with the DGP, he currently appears to be rather solid. I'm SUPER satisfied with this supplement, as well as my big boy is going to stay on it without a doubt!

Indigo Triple Chews

Dental health and wellness is important, yet we aren't fantastic about brushing these guys' teeth. We look for oral products that maintain their teeth clean and their mouths healthy and balanced. The Indigo Triple Chews are by FAR our faves. They're digestible as well as grain-free. They integrate benefits by consisting of antioxidants as well as probiotics with the dental treatment. But why we enjoy them: They really are durable. We've tried every sort of dental chew, and also they complete them SO fast. Also quick for just how expensive they are. These seriously last longer than any other we tried. I desired a statistics, so I offered one to Lucas prior to I took a seat to write today. It took him from 3:24 up until 3:51. In my house, that's a Christmas miracle.

Fruitables Holiday Edition: Vanilla Snowflake Flavor

So, these deals with have without a doubt the very best story to them. They are made with genuine snows! Seriously! You can watch a video of them gathering the snow. These are tiny, crunchy treats that are made with 300 snowflakes in every bag. How funny and also adorable is that?! The active ingredients are quite allergy-friendly, as well. The deals with don't contain any wheat, corn, soy, man-made shades, or preservatives. While the young boys uncommitted too much regarding those aspects, they did gobble them up! I definitely like the story and also think these would make a very sweet stocking stuffer for any kind of fortunate pup!

Zuke's.

Complete disclosure: If you have a dog who is as food sensitive as Cooper is, Zuke's have actually not been the best deals with for him. Somehow, they actually intensify his sensitive stomach. For more details about dog sensitive food then visit https://petsish.com/best-dog-food-for-sensitive-stomach/ . The large young boys, on the other hand, couldn't. get. enough. We like Zuke's for training because they have a strong smell and are easily gotten into bits. These jerky ones, though, have a lamb that we're attempting with Coop, therefore much, so excellent! The other flavors are wonderful for the other dogs. There are a couple different beef options and turkey, as well. These jerky treats-- made from completely secure meat sourced in the United States and New Zealand, instead of China-- consist of genuine meat, carrots, blueberries, apples, as well as antioxidant-rich natural herbs. We damage them right into little items to make use of when we're collaborating with the dogs outside because the solid odor keeps them engaged. These are treats we NEVER wish to run out of!

Train-Me Treats.

We do a lot of training around here, and also we use treats for nearly every little thing from normal walks the block to instructing brand-new methods to dealing with whatever Cooper's brand-new fear-of-the-moment is. To keep them interested, we have to mix up the benefits. These training treats from Crazy Dog were brand-new to me, and they've been working so well. They're soft-- a lot far better than crunchy when training-- and all listing meat as the initial ingredient. They can be found in bacon, hen, and beef flavors as well as either 4-ounce or 6-ounce bags.

Animal Naturals of Vermont supplements.

Many years earlier, we drove from DC to Indiana. After that, later, from Indiana to Louisiana. After that, once again later on, from Louisiana to Indiana. Sigh. All those miles with the dogs is rather stressful, so we had actually been acquiring Pet Naturals of Vermont calming treats. They have a HUGE range of supplements beyond the preferred soothing treats, however, and we've been using the Daily Best for Emmett (although, I believe perhaps he needs the elderly formula) as well as the Skin + Coat. They're well-formulated as well as definitely have a great flavor-- the young boys gobble them up. Perk for any person with an allergy-prone dog: The Skin + Coat version is flavored with duck, making it more widely endured!

PetSafe 2-Meal Automatic Pet Feeder.

If you reside in a multi-pet house, this may not be the Christmas present for you (unless you have a feline that has separate access from your dog or something). My herd demands being fed at a particular time. Every. Single. Day. Breakfast is at 7. Dinner is at 5. I know not everybody has pets so diligent concerning their feeding times, yet these guys firmly insist. For a while, Coop was additionally eating lunch. And, actually, Newt gets a challenge toy mid-day. Anyhow, this item would certainly be a dream if you needed to do a mid-day feeding or if you had a late meeting or supper strategies and intended to feed your family pet on schedule. For a dog like Emmett-- that takes, roughly, 15 pills a day some of which need to be timed with dishes-- this would be a lifesaver if you needed to leave early/come house late. All you do is load the feeder, established a timer, and also TA DA! Your pet is fed the right amount at the right time, even if you have to go out or are running late! $34.95 for the 2-Meal (1.5 cups per side) version (HINT: The 5 cup version is coming later on in the week!).

Barker Kitsen deal with selection-- No much longer available.

You people, I'm in love. Can you be in love with a family pet merchant? I sure am! This online store is devoted to "under-the-radar items," which implies you're going to discover something NEW in their shop. I seriously enjoyed poking around, as well as I check out family pet items all-the-live-long day! From their objective: "The business's goal is to assist quality-minded pet owners make premium item choices to keep their family pets healthy and satisfied, while providing arising as well as unknown brands nationwide direct exposure as a circulation source for their products." As I claimed, I'm in love! They sent us a lot of deals with to try: Raw Bistro free-range bison liver and flaxseed deals with, natural pleasant potato treats from 2 Dogs Treats, Bixbi's Skin and Coat chicken bust jerky, as well as Scrappy Moo deals with. Not one of those deals with was a flop. We enjoyed them ALL. (Cooper can even consume the bison! Yippee!) And the product packaging is incredibly cute. Incorporated with the fantastic goal, I'm head over heels!

[hellenicpoliticiansuggestions]

The Best Holiday Presents For Dogs To Consume!

We've invested the last couple months screening and also curating the most effective vacation gifts for dogs (and their people)-- as well as today's suggestions are all gifts for your dog to EAT! If I had to think, I think today's most likely our dogs' preferred day of the present guide!

When it concerns screening edibles, I don't rely upon the dogs. They do not have one of the most discerning palates. My initial step is to examine ingredients to see if it's something I really feel comfy giving them. Now, I'm not a person who's "all health and wellness, at all times." I such as to balance a little of junk food once in a while. These winners, however, all ranking really highly for being nutritious-- and I included our favorite supplements to balance out a lot of Christmas cookies. I had a bumpy ride narrowing it down, so right here are our preferred seven best vacation gifts for dogs that they can EAT!

DGP

Let's kick this off with our supplement fave. I've covered this before, as well as if you have a dog with joint problems or you just want preventative care, this is the one for you. DGP is everything about sustaining flexibility and flexibility, and also if your dog is already on a glucosamine-type supplement, it can be added to provide extra assistance. Lucas has bad hips, and also he's starting to obtain a bit older-- though he appears not aware of that fact-- and likes to dip into doggy day care one day a week. It was taking its toll on his joints, however with the DGP, he now appears to be rather strong. I'm SUPER delighted with this supplement, and my huge young boy is mosting likely to stay on it for sure!

Indigo Triple Chews

Oral wellness is critical, yet we aren't excellent regarding cleaning these people' teeth. We look for dental products that keep their teeth clean as well as their mouths healthy and balanced. The Indigo Triple Chews are by FAR our faves. They're digestible and grain-free. They integrate benefits by consisting of anti-oxidants as well as probiotics with the dental care. But why we enjoy them: They actually are lasting. We've attempted every sort of oral eat, and they complete them SO quickly. As well fast for exactly how costly they are. These seriously last longer than any other we tried. I desired a statistics, so I provided one to Lucas before I took a seat to compose today. It took him from 3:24 till 3:51. In my residence, that's a Christmas wonder.

Fruitables Holiday Edition: Vanilla Snowflake Flavor

So, these treats have by FAR the most effective story to them. They are made with actual snows! Seriously! You can see a video clip of them collecting the snow. These are little, crunchy treats that are made with 300 snowflakes in every bag. Just how amusing and also adorable is that?! The ingredients are rather allergy-friendly, too. The treats do not contain any wheat, corn, soy, man-made shades, or chemicals. While the young boys do not care way too much about those variables, they did swallow them up! I definitely like the tale as well as believe these would certainly make a very wonderful equipping stuffer for any kind of lucky puppy!

Zuke's.

Complete disclosure: If you have a dog who is as food sensitive as Cooper is, Zuke's have not been the most effective deals with for him. For some reason, they really worsen his sensitive stomach. The huge boys, on the other hand, couldn't. get. enough. We love Zuke's for training because they have a solid odor and also are quickly gotten into little bits. These jerky ones, however, have a lamb that we're trying with Coop, and so much, so good! The other tastes are wonderful for the other dogs. There are a couple various beef options and turkey, too. These jerky deals with-- made from absolutely risk-free meat sourced in the US and also New Zealand, rather than China-- include actual meat, carrots, blueberries, apples, and also antioxidant-rich herbs. We break them right into little items to use when we're working with the dogs outside due to the fact that the strong odor keeps them involved. These are treats we NEVER want to lack!

Train-Me Treats.

We do a great deal of training around right here, and also we use deals with for nearly everything from normal walks around the block to educating new techniques to servicing whatever Cooper's new fear-of-the-moment is. To maintain them interested, we need to blend the benefits. These training deals with from Crazy Dog were new to me, and they've been functioning so well. They're soft-- so much far better than crunchy when training-- and all list meat as the first component. They can be found in bacon, chicken, as well as beef tastes as well as either 4-ounce or 6-ounce bags.

Animal Naturals of Vermont supplements.

Several years back, we drove from DC to Indiana. Then, later, from Indiana to Louisiana. After that, once again later on, from Louisiana to Indiana. Sigh. All those miles with the dogs is pretty demanding, so we had been acquiring Pet Naturals of Vermont soothing treats. They have a HUGE variety of supplements past the prominent relaxing deals with, though, and we've been using the Daily Best for Emmett (although, I think possibly he requires the elderly formula) and the Skin + Coat. They're well-formulated and also absolutely have a great flavor-- the young boys gobble them up. Benefit for anyone with an allergy-prone dog: The Skin + Coat version is seasoned with duck, making it extra commonly endured!

PetSafe 2-Meal Automatic Pet Feeder.

If you stay in a multi-pet household, this may not be the Christmas gift for you (unless you have a feline who has different accessibility from your dog or something). My herd demands being fed at a particular time. Every. Solitary. Day. Morning meal goes to 7. Supper is at 5. I know not every person has pet dogs so diligent about their feeding times, but these guys urge. For a while, Coop was additionally consuming lunch. And also, really, Newt gets a problem toy mid-day. Anyway, this item would certainly be a dream if you had to do a mid-day feeding or if you had a late conference or supper plans and also wanted to feed your family pet in a timely manner. For a dog like Emmett-- who takes, roughly, 15 tablets a day some of which need to be timed with meals-- this would be a lifesaver if you needed to leave early/come home late. All you do is fill up the feeder, established a timer, and also TA DA! Your animal is fed the correct amount at the right time, even if you have to head out or are running late! $34.95 for the 2-Meal (1.5 cups per side) version (HINT: The 5 cup version is coming later on in the week!).

Barker Kitsen treat assortment-- No longer readily available.

You individuals, I'm in love. Can you be in love with a pet seller? I sure am! This online shop is devoted to "under-the-radar items," which indicates you're mosting likely to uncover something NEW in their shop. I seriously enjoyed poking around, and also I check out pet dog products all-the-live-long day! From their objective: "The business's mission is to assist quality-minded pet dog owners make remarkable product choices to maintain their pet dogs healthy and also happy, while giving arising as well as unidentified brands nationwide direct exposure as a distribution source for their items." As I said, I'm in love! They sent us a number of treats to attempt: Raw Bistro free-range bison liver and flaxseed treats, organic pleasant potato treats from 2 Dogs Treats, Bixbi's Skin as well as Coat poultry breast jerky, and Scrappy Moo treats. Not one of those deals with was a flop. We enjoyed them ALL. (Cooper can also consume the bison! Yippee!) And the product packaging is incredibly charming. Combined with the great goal, I'm head over heels!

[elenatria]

God bless you for your Pacho story! I hope you keep being inspired to write fluff, hurt, comfort, smut, vodka dad and puppy stuff

Thank you, darling, thank you so much for your wishes, it’s all I need.

I’ve written some of that and guess what, now it’s time for VODKA MOM. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20407543/chapters/50615828

Dusk found Garo sitting on his barrel outside tent 181, the air that played with his hair filling his nostrils with the scent of pine and dirt. He was peeling an apple with his pocket knife, grateful that he was alive to see another day come to an end as he gazed lazily at the light on the tents going orange, then indigo, then blue. He had driven off with a different group of hunters that morning and had shared his kolbasa with a couple of newcomers, scrawny Belarussian boys with barely-there whiskers and a dreadful sense of humour. He had tried to laugh with their scarce and pitiful jokes, one of them even reminded him of Igor, but after a while he gave up on any attempt at a conversation and pretended that he was deaf in one ear and stubbornly Armenian in the other.

Having no one to talk to (or talk his ears off) he made daisy garlands for the rest of the day, cleaned his rifle, opened a can of beans and carved a dog out of a piece of wood he had found next to the pit where they buried the animals they had brought in the truck. He figured he could give the toy to Pavel (it was quite detailed and he always took pride in his wooden miniatures) but he feared that even that small gesture could bring tears to the Cub’s eyes. Pavel didn’t have any use for fake animals, he reckoned, all he wanted was to not have to kill any real ones for weeks on end and no miniature could ever compensate for that.

Still, he had to give the toy to someone.

Igor would have appreciated it.

Blonde, blue-eyed, cupid-like Igor.

He let out a deep thoughtful sigh; he still remembered the day Pavel arrived in their tent, fresh-faced and ignorant in his baggy civilian clothes, pale and fragile as porcelain. Had he not mentioned his age, had he not appeared in a camp meant for boys dreaming of becoming men, Garo would have easily mistaken him for a student. All he was missing was a stack of books and ink stains on his bitten-off nails.

Garo felt a cheeky smile blooming on his lips as he remembered someone’s first reaction: that Georgian asshole jolted out of his cot the moment he heard a young voice, lighting a cigarette before even shaking the boy’s hand, like a man in a bar checking out the cute newcomer. Garo had clicked his tongue at Bacho’s eagerness (had he not learned?) and he would have shaken his head in disapproval if he wasn’t certain he’d get a smack  in the head.  

But that was before he got to know Pavel, before he saw him around Bacho.

For all his timidity, Pavel had instantly shown with a side glance his disdain for smoke, the same look he had when he caught Bacho smoking a joint over the fire a few nights ago. Garo had also noticed the Kiev-born newcomer wincing at Bacho’s long and tight handshake, childlike fingers being crushed by the veteran’s inexplicable enthusiasm.

Maybe Bacho wanted to correct the wrongs of the past with Pavel, give himself a second chance.

He hadn’t been the same since his last mistake. Not that Garo cared for his welfare or his cries of agony long after everyone had fallen asleep, but it was hard not to notice the wrinkles around his eyes deepening after Igor’s death. When the Cub arrived, there were no more cries waking Garo in the middle of the night; maybe Bacho had gotten used to the idea that he was partly responsible for Igor’s death.

Or maybe it was Pavel, the Ukrainian youth who had been sent to join them in their journey to a slow torturous death. What was that boy thinking when he enlisted? Perhaps nothing at all.

Bacho seemed overly enthusiastic though. Whenever Garo saw his eyes sparkle with rage (or an unhealthy amount of curiosity) he knew something was up; he knew he was in for a treat whether it was a session of bloody fisticuffs or the drunken confession of deeply hidden longing with a pinch of ugly crying on his shoulder.

They had done this before, Garo reading Bacho like an open book and Bacho denying everything before spewing it all out over a bottle of vodka. Strangely enough, the Georgian hadn’t told him a word about Pavel. Perhaps he was getting better at this.

Still, not good enough for Garo’s keen eyes.

He sucked on a slice of his apple listening to the roaring engine of a truck coming to a stop. Had the lover of daisies and wooden miniatures missed them, the Asshole and the Cub? Maybe he had, just a little. Not that he’d ever admit that to the Asshole but the two of them were the closest he had to a family in that camp. He still had a mother to send letters to and a girl who liked to brag to the neighbours about her cheap engagement ring, but neither of them would ever know what it was like to kill animals that ran to them for food, only to get a bullet in the head because some idiots had blown up a reactor in a town they had never heard of.

Pavel and Bacho knew that feeling all too well.

Nothing could bring people together like war, Garo pondered.

Steps dragging through the mud pulled him out of the dark meanders of his mind; Bacho and the boy had just come back from their unusually long ride to the dirty villages. The two of them exchanged a glance and a swift nod before Pavel, his pale face blank as ever, strode hastily past Garo who couldn’t help noticing a barely noticeable limp in his step. When Pavel came back he sat down carefully, knees bending like an old man with arthritis, lips tight, and poured some vodka into his cup. 

Bacho was just as silent as Pavel, a fact that alarmed the Armenian who was used to putting up with the Asshole’s lame jokes, his speeches and gratuitous insults whenever they sat down for a drink, a smoke or a bite. The Bacho he knew would always fill the void with his incessant blabbering, more often than not lecturing him on politics and women.

But this wasn’t the Bacho he knew.

Something was off, something Garo couldn’t put his finger on. He narrowed his eyes peering through the dark, inspecting them inch by inch until he settled on their hat pins: Pavel’s was round like his own and Bacho was wearing the Soviet star. It would all be perfectly fine (and Garo would have shaken off the thought that had been bugging him ever since he had overheard them whispering in the dark of their tent) if Pavel was wearing the hat with the star.

Instead he was wearing the hat from Afghanistan.

Bacho’s hat.

One more time Garo peeked at his comrade, then the boy, turning his head from one to the other, blinking, chewing slowly like a stupefied cow, trying to figure out if he was imagining things. Pavel kept silent as usual taking sips from his cup and wincing every time vodka slid down his throat while Bacho took long drags from his cigarette puffing out the smoke casually, looking anywhere but into Garo’s eyes.

The Armenian glared at them both. Since neither of them seemed willing to start a conversation (or at least explain where the fuck they had been since morning), he raised his brows and let out a resigned sigh shoving a huge juicy slice into his mouth.

So they were there. So they had crossed that line.

He shrugged to himself.

Whatever, said part of him.

Finally, said the other part.

He munched his apple as words got mixed in his tongue forming nothing but a half-hearted yet distinguishable mumble.

“About fucking time...”

He didn’t raise his head, he didn’t have to; it was enough to hear Pavel’s breath catch and picture Bacho responding with a panicked look as the cigarette slipped from his lips and landed on the mud between paralyzed feet.

What total idiots.

Garo rested his forearms on his knees leaning forward to conceal a chuckle that was threatening to burst out of his chest like a volcano.

They were trying to hide from him.

The nerve.

“Shut the fuck up, Garo,” Bacho grunted warningly through gritted teeth.

“But I didn’t say anything,” Garo half complained trying hard not to roll on the ground, giggling until he ran out of breath.

“Exactly,” Bacho groaned fixing a dark gaze on him. “Keep it that way.”