#he's been on a the crush list for a while now but fuuuck

[one-winged-dreams]

I HATE IT WHEN HORNY THOUGHTS GET ME EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED, FUCKING HATE IT

[bugs1nmybrain]

Give Your Heart a Break - Chapter 2 Tomura Shigaraki x reader series

You can find chapter one here

Notes: So I want to clarify that in this fic, a major theme about Tomura's story is that he suffers from a lot of untreated mental illness. I'm representing him as someone who's undiagnosed Bipolar, but also experiences symptoms that boarder schizophrenia, such as the voices he hears and he'll eventually have a psychotic episode at some point in this story. I know this feeds the "Bipolar and psychotic people are evil" stereotype, but I have these mental illnesses and see Shigaraki as someone who could very much have untreated Bipolar disorder (type 1 specifically), regardless. Most anime characters aren't written to be bipolar lol but I have a list of reasons why I think he has the potential to be. Maybe I'll make a post about it someday.

Summary: Tomura is so goshdarn determined to find his lil gamestop crush and thanks to him conveniently seeing her debit card he casually stalks her on the internet

Warnings: 18+ minors don't interact, cliffhanger, mildly dark content, internet stalking, creepy Tomura, Tomura and y/n only talk over the internet in this chapter, i wrote Tomura's thoughts but it's not from his direct POV. They are highlighted in blue, like in chapter 1 Tomura hears voices and sometimes they can be nasty - they are highlighted in red, soft Shigaraki, very scott pilgrim kind of humor, edgy and derogatory humor at one point (used ironically to mock people who say them seriously), Tomura has his English dub's voice (pre Paranormal Liberation Front), not proofread yet, I wrote this while I was stoned af

Notes About Reader:

everything from chapter 1 applies

she/her pronouns

relatively active on social media but makes content private

reader is a WEIRDO

I made the reader's username mine lol

As said, she's very based off of me

reader experiences unspecified mental illness and has been to a psych ward in her past

she laughs very easily

"*your full legal name*"

Tomura considered the possibility that you may have been using someone else's card or that you didn't go by your legal name, but he was sure it was a decent place to start. His heart was racing so hard to find out who you were. He wasn't sure what struck a chord in him when he saw you. He supposed it was cuz you're pretty, but he really didn't know anything about you other than you're spooky, you like anime, and you like his hair.

He immediately started searching for your name on his phone. It wasn't hard to find your Facebook, though your privacy settings didn't let him see much other than profile pictures. You seemed somewhat outgoing from they pictures you posted. There was a directory about you online, and he guessed it was you based on your age and location (he saw your location on FB lol). Now he knew your address..

the internet is so nice to him sometimes :)

It took him a little bit of digging but he found your other socials outside of Facebook. All private, though. Fuuuck.

Fuck it, follow.

Tomura never showed his face on his socials and never ever ever put his name. You wouldn't know it was him.

"But now she has to approve it :("

*bugsinmybrain accepted your follow request*

:)))))

Tomura swore that he felt as if he had unlocked a fucking treasure chest. You were so very flashy, that's for sure. A lot of pictures of you, decorated with some cute stickers that were edited in, or surrounded by anime dudes.

"Tenko"

"Fuck off."

From what he could tell, you were a geek. Very nerdy and interested in things, though that wasn't a bother to Tomura. He was a fan of a lot of shit. You were also very pretty. He then stumbled on some posts you'd made about heroes. How you thought their system was corrupted and that they'd neglect people and dismiss those who they thought were worth sacrificing. Mmm, you're speaking his language. You didn't appear to be any kind of villain, you couldn't be so outgoing on the internet if you were, but you were certainly feisty.

He wanted to message you. He knew it would be weird and he didn't want to creep you out, but god he wanted to talk to you. He wanted to know more about you. To be honest, he really wanted you to give him your undivided feminine attention. When you spoke with him at GameStop he felt warm. Love at first sight? Possibly. Is he that much of a fool?

His social anxiety made him almost want to watch you outside your window before messaging you online anonymously. rrr.

"whatever."

him: hey, do you remember the blue haired guy from GameStop?

you didn't answer for two hours.

Tomura tried to not care if you responded or not but he was boiling hot and itching anxiously, wondering if you had actively ignored him. But you didn't unfollow or block him, he checked many times.

her: omg yea

!!!

him: is your name (y/n)? that's what your card said. sorry thats creepy af but i kinda wanted to talk to you so I looked you up.

He wasn't even attempting to not be a stalker at this point. What else was he supposed to say? There's no way to cover the fact that he has a crush on you or something.

her: yea that's me. i noticed you peaked at my name so it's ok lol. what's your name?

"fuck"

he wasn't supposed to say anything like that online. He's a piece of shit, yea, but a part of Tomura didn't want to lie.

"Tenko"

That's a name he heard often. For the last couple of years he began experiencing frequent auditory hallucinations. Hearing "Tenko" was one of them. Sometimes they'd tell him to stop or scream at him or strangely enough, they'd be calm and nurturing to him. It drove him crazy sometimes.

Whatever.

him: Tenko

her: why did you want to talk to me?

him: that's an awkward question

her: why?

him: i guess it's not. you look cool and said shit about hating heroes. is that a good enough reason?

her: LMAO

i suppose

him: do you play any video games? I saw you go to the anime section...

her: i play but i'm not very good at any of them

"of course she isn't"

him: what games do you play?

her: league of legends

him: omg are you kidding me?

her: no

him: do you wanna play with me? like. right now?

her: sure??

score.

You were trash at league. But somehow it was charming seeing you try your best, though your efforts were very frugal. Normally seeing someone so bad in his game would make Tomura pissed but he gave you a pass. At the moment, he was more worried about getting to know you than the game itself. So he tried all he could to get you to talk, he loved your voice.

"I'm going to assume you're very new to this?"

"Yea."

"How new?"

"I've been playing for maybe 3 months."

"That long and you're still shit?"

"I know I suck," you say defensively. As if you could hear the things in his head.

"You kind of do, not going to lie."

It wasn't long after that you got essentially gangbanged by three enemy players with no attacks given back.

"FUCK"

The loud cussing in his headphones made Tomura jump, but he couldn't help but start to chuckle violently.

"Feisty bitch ain't she?"

"She wants to suck your cock."

"Shut up..." Tomura growled under his breath.

"Did you just tell me to shut up??" You ask, though chuckling while you did.

"What? No, no. Sometimes I just have really bad thoughts that come out of nowhere. I have to like.."

"Tell them to be quiet?"

"yup."

"I've done that. Like actually, though. I'll just start thinking of the most wacked out thing, and it comes out of no where. Sometimes I knock on my head to get rid of them, hah."

I guess a spooky looking gal like you being mentally ill wasn't a surprise to him. Your ability to relate to his situation was still comforting, though. Especially because he almost expected you to get uncomfortable when he told you about having "bad thoughts." Some girls may think a freaky looking dude like him having "bad thoughts" meant that he was some homicidal villain.

oh wait

"Really? I've had it happen to me all my life, but for the last two years I've like...heard voices, I guess? Sometimes the thoughts aren't even thoughts, they just happen. And I'll hear them, in voices that aren't mine. Also forget all of that, I'm normal and you're very bad at league."

The giggle that erupted from you shot an infestation of butterflies inside his chest. You seemed to think he was very funny, which is something that frankly turned him on. Throughout your call he was able to make you snicker from saying the dumbest shit. He prayed you weren't just faking it.

"It's ok. You'd be surprised how common that is. Doesn't make it any easier though, I'll say that," you reply, hoping to ease his nerves. You could tell even over voice call that while he spoke very easily about his hallucinations, he had a level of shame for them.

"No. It doesn't. Who made you a psychiatrist, anyways?"

"My six stays at the psych ward maybe," you retort.

"sexy."

"Excuse me, Tenko?"

Oh right. That's his name right now. Fuck, he wanted to see you in person. He felt like he'd be able to be more of an open book that way. He'd still need a story though, fake name or not. You probably thought you were just talking to some geeky gamer boy with blue hair and possible schizophrenia, but little did you know, you were talking to a facilitator of multiple acts of mid-level terrorism. Hey, but if it was all in the name of "Fuck Heroes" maybe you'd still laugh at his jokes.

"Sorry that wasn't very feminism of me was it?"

"No, it wasn't" you said as you wheezed in laughter.

"You like my edgelord jokes, don't you?"

You kept laughing, now somehow he had pulled a couple of snorts out of you too.

"fat pig."

"Want to take a trip to 2016? I bet Leafy would love to make fun of autistic 12 year old's with you."

He swore that you were probably crying from how hard you were laughing. He wished he could see you on camera right now, but hearing you blow out his ear drums with your annoying yet adorable little laugh was good enough for now.

"Am I going to have to come resuscitate you?" Tomura cackles, now feeling himself starting to laugh.

"Your voice is cute," you beam at him.

"Liar."

"I'm not!"

"Someone once told me I sound like I'm a prison bitch cuz of how hoarse my throat is."

"wow."

"Done with the jokes, got it."

"I know, right?"

"I just think it's cute, you're very expressive."

*this is Tomura right, now by the way*

"Does that mean that uh..you think I'm cute?" he pesters with the widest smile on his face, though you couldn't see.

*que jeopardy music*

Goodness, you certainly had a girlish charm with the way your mellow voice would start chirping with laughter. He didn't think flirting should've been this easy, but you were very impressionable.

"Is it ok to say yes?" you asked sheepishly over call.

"Ehehehe~!!!" Tomura squealed, mocking your giggles.

"Shut up!"

"Am I going to have to come and rescue you? You sound like you're running out of air," he asked almost genuinely, as he held back a cough.

"Do it, pussy, you won't."

"Oh really?"

"Uh-huh."

"Would you be mad at me if I told you I know where you live?"

"Excuse me?"

"Not my fault. Blame yourself for being an on-the-grid person. The internet is dangerous, didn't you know?"

"Are we officially stalker-stalkee now?" you joked.

"Yea but my hair is blue and my voice is cute so it's ok if I stalk you, right?"

"Oh my fucking god."

"So, can I come see you?"

"Huh?"

"In person. I could be there in like half an hour. You live near me."

"Tenko, it's 10pm."

"Would you get in trouble? Do you live with parents or something?"

"Yea."

"I could pick you up and we could walk back to my place."

Now, dear readers, would you accept such an offer from a complete stranger at almost midnight, absolutely alone with him? After he has admitted to lowkey stalking you? You shouldn't!

However, we, the reader, are ignorant to common sense when we receive the slightest crumb of positive (?) male attention.

"Sure."

"teeheehee!!" Tomura teases. "Keep your eyes pealed, then. Thirty minutes, okay?"

"omg i guess."

"omg ok, what kind of energy drink do you like?"

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

*sings* the family REUNION

A/N: A nice Klaus x Topazi. I’m projecting, and this is also comfort for me right now xx. I’m sick of this country, I want to get the fuck out, but I can’t, so this is what’s happened. I’ve thought about writing this one before, but I think what we all need right now is some tenderness and warmth, so what better way to do it than through fanfiction. This is the first time I’ve written for an OC, and I like it so far. This was initially for a black reader, then I thought, literally today “oh topazi” so here we are.

Warnings: food (and lots of it), mild drink, knowing myself small mentions of racism, mention of sex

Cheeky Tag List: @misskittysmagicportal, @super-unpredictable98, @badsext, @sean-falco, @the-freckled-luba, @iamsexytrash, @crabstick, @robertsheehanownsmyass, @frogs--are--bitches, @seancekitsch

“KLAUS, COME ON, I CAN’T BE LATE” Topazi yelled through the house, checking herself in the mirror one last time before springing to where Klaus was.

 He was sitting on the kitchen island, nibbling on some chips. His feet tapped against the counter every other second.

“I told you, don’t eat yet, you won’t want to eat before we get there and that’s forbidden fruit sir.” she sternly stated, fauxly crossing her arms at him.

“Fine, by the way, your pasta salad is amazing.” he said, making a small chef’s kiss motion with his hands.

  Topazi facepalmed as Klaus kissed her cheek, and he walked to the door and put his sandles on. Jesus sandles, actually. To spent hours making two tins of pasta salad, and he ate almost a full corner of it. He must’ve eaten some of it while she was in the bathroom, or when she was lightly scolding the cats for disturbing the resident mice. She rolled her eyes and packed into the car, but not before saying goodbye to the houseplants.

“How long is the drive supposed to be?” Klaus asked, long limbs extending in the car.

“Just about an hour. It won’t be long, trust me. You’ll wish the drive was even shorter when you get there too.” she said, smiling and Klaus grinned back at her, and he kissed her once more before shuffling over more to his side of the car.

  About 45 minutes of time passed, and during that time, Klaus had opened a plethora of tangents, including pegging, ketchup being a smoothie (to him), why he doesn’t personally trust roaches(they just look weird, and they live forever), as well as why it took so long for him to cut that god-awful beard. All the while T was swerving in lanes, and glancing every now and then at the clock in the car. Klaus sat guzzling water while talking, and she knew the question was going to come up at some point, so she slapped her big girl panties on and took it.

“Are we there yet?” Klaus asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. His stomach was poking out, but just barely, and Topazi sighed heavily.

“Klaus, come on. We’ve got a little less than 20 minutes left, it’s not my fault you drank all that water.”  she said, half stern, half jokingly.

“But I have to gooo. Can’t you pull over or something?” he whines, puppy dog eyes showing.

‘We’re on a highway, Klaus.” she muttered, gritting her teeth before pulling into a lane. That caused him to cross his legs, and close his eyes, groaning.

“Please, I really have to go. I’ll try to repay the favor when I can, I promise.” he begs, hands covering his crotch. T thought about it for a moment, and she’d been meaning to have Klaus eat her out again, so why not. She reached in the back and pulled out an empty bottle, and he picked it from her hands.

“I’ve been meaning to do this for a while.” he says, turning away from her and she gagged lightly, but at least he didn’t wet his pants....this time.

Topazi continued to drive for the promised 20 minutes, and she arrived at her parent’s house, cars already piling onto the lawn. Klaus quickly headed to the trash can outside, and threw the bottle away, getting sanitizer from the car. She grabbed a tin of the pasta salad, as well as Klaus, and he followed her to the front of the house.

“Are they even going to like me?” Klaus mumbled, eyebrows scrunching. They’d  had discussions about it before, and his worry was extremely valid. She didn’t want Klaus to feel left out, or bad about anything. He was still a really good lover. He’d voiced his concerns multiple times, and time and time again, she reassured him.

“You’ll be fine. If they say one thing you’re uncomfortable with, I won’t hesitate to leave this place and drive all the way back. You know that.” T replied, using a hand to softly rub his cheek. He leaned into her touch, and the door opened, right as she was reaching for the doorbell for a second ring.

“Hi! Come on it! And you bought a guest, who is this?” Alena asked, ushering her daughter and guest into the house.

“Mom, this is my partner Klaus. Also, pasta salad, which is getting warm as we speak, so let me set it down.” Topazi rushed into the kitchen, shuffling quickly into the house, Klaus bumbling after her, looking around. She opened the fridge and shoved her dish in, gently patting it before stretching mildly, an aftereffect of staying in one spot.

  T walked back over to Klaus and he smiled at her mom, who was walking him outside to meet the rest of the family. She followed closely behind, and she noticed him getting more and more comfortable. He went around meeting everyone and shaking their hands, or hugging them. T met up with her siblings, hugging them, and letting her nieces and nephews up on her hips. She played with them and chatted for a while, and Klaus came back to her, almost skipping.

“Did you know that your dad served in the Army?” Klaus asked her, a small sparkle in his eye.

“Klaus....he’s my dad. Why wouldn’t I know?” she replied, tilting her head to the side. She giggled at his look, and her siblings noticed him, and gave him a collective small rundown. She did argue with her siblings a fuck ton, but they always tended to come to her aid if needed.

  Klaus went around and introduced himself to T’s aunt that just came in, and she giggled as he was almost crushed by the force of her hug. She patted his back and looked him up and down.

“Goodness, you need somethin’ to eat, one more gust of wind, we won’t see you ‘til Christmas!” she stated, shaking her head jokingly.

  He giggled at the effort, and prodded about needing to go to a chiropractor. She cackled, and he went back to T, placing a tiny kiss to her cheek.

“This is going surprisingly well, what the fuuuck?!” he whispered, and she wrapped her arms around him, and hugged him. He placed his chin on top of her head and sighed in her touch. The moment, however, was short lived, as one of Topazi’s nieces came between them and giggled around their ankles, and Klaus picked one of them up, asking their name.

  She was pleasantly shocked at his reaction with the kids, and soon enough, the two of them were running in the yard, playing tag. She was currently in the lead, and her siblings were bounding towards her, waiting for there to be a chance to tackle her. Klaus came up from behind her and tackled her, causing the both of them to crash to the ground.

“Oh come on, that’s nowhere near fair!” she yelled, trying to wiggle away from him. He looked into her eyes, and pecked her lips. They sighed against each other and the sun baked their skin. Klaus eventually rolled off of T, and just as they were getting hungry, dinner was called.

  She ran to the backyard, dress billowing behind her, Klaus in tow, and she washed her hands before getting in line. Her mouth simply watered at the selection of southern food placed in front of her. Klaus was somewhat surprised at everything, but welcomed it happily when confronted with....wait a minute....sweet potatoes with cherries?? Topazi laughed at him, and promised to explain it to him once they sat down. Your family, and you could practically hear their thoughts “Shouldn’t he get more?”. It half sickened her to think of that though, so she found a lawn chair to sit in, carefully placing it to avoid the ant beds and tree roots.

“Okay so, what the fuck is with the sweet potatoes?” Klaus asked, shoving a spoonful of potato salad in his mouth.

“They’re called candied yams. The cherries help them become sweeter. And don’t take the fucking breadcrumbs off the mac and cheese. I’ll slaughter you, that’s the best part.” T whispered, slowly becoming more and more full.

  She went back for another serving (or two) and stopped at dessert, which was provided graciously. Many cakes and pies laid in front of her, as well as tarts, and, wait, who the fuck brought Krispy Kreme?

“Who got lazy?” she mumbled, walking back to Klaus with her plate full of sweets, and she immediately took a bite from the glazed donut, eyes closing. “Still warm though.”

“I mean, Honey only taught me to make a couple things, and donuts weren’t one of them.” he stated, sipping his tea.

  The sun began to set, and the drinks started pouring. The stories began to filter out, and Topazi saw Klaus start to nod off, and she announced their leaving. He sleepily said his goodbyes and when they got into the car, Klaus knocked out almost immediately. The drive home was very quiet. Music played quietly on the radio, and T hummed along quietly. Klaus shuffled every now and then in his sleep, and his breathing fogged the window on his side of the car. When they arrived home, Topazi gently woke Klaus, and he slowly made his way into the house, practically sleepwalking. As they were undressing and getting into bed, Klaus quietly whispered a couple words. Topazi barely heard him, and he repeated himself.

“Thank you for letting me meet your family. I enjoyed it. I’m happy I got to know the people who raised you. They did a damn good job too.” he whispered back, gently kissing Topazi’s head. She got a bit flustered from the compliment and gently thanked him as well, and the two of them fell asleep to the sound of their respective partner’s heartbeats.

Masterlist

[andaleduardo]

reddie.,....94,....if you’re feelin it :’)

I had so much fun!! Thank you for sending this and I’m sorry if the ending is rushed I didn’t know what to do with it and I wanted to keep it ‘short’

Heavily inspired by chaotic and energetic Eddie Kaspbrak, he’s a brat and we love him.

94. “You heard me say what in my sleep? Wait–why were you even listening in the first place?!”

If you were to ask Richie what his favorite place on earth was, he would say the clubhouse without hesitation. Yeah sure, it was also located in Derry, also known as the worst place on earth if Richie could say so himself. But it felt as if it were far away, nowhere exactly. It was their own world, their own corner, sometimes it could feel more of a home than their own houses.

And that applied to all seven of them. 

Every corner of the clubhouse was filled with amazing memories, all of them engraved in their hearts. Stupid doodles and words carved into the wood. Little trinkets, toys and pictures littering every surface. Movie tickets pinned to the pillars, low quality polaroids hanging on battery-charged christmas lights, and all kinds of cozy additions they managed to bring down there. 

Now, they kept blankets and pillows inside a big box so that they wouldn’t get dirty, per Stan’s request, and some old stools and bean bags that took up a lot of space, but they weren’t complaining. The hammock was still a part of the family, of course.

The clubhouse had been the stage of many memorable moments. On top of that, Richie had some fun self discoveries while being down there. The most prominent one, painted in big bold letters, being the realisation that what he felt for Eddie was more than just friendship. This, of course, lead to a more obvious conclusion.

So, Richie liked boys. Big deal, right?

Yeah, a pretty fucking big deal that got him tearing his hair out and biting his nails away.

But well, life kept going and Richie had to learn to cope with the knowledge that he had a crush on his best friend. Also had to learn how to control himself whenever they sat close, or touched, or had any type of interaction. Which meant always. Richie had to learn how to control himself always. Because Eddie was always touching him and bickering back at him and being annoying (which Richie loved). And Richie would blush and sweat and stutter like Bill.

Now they were sixteen, so Richie had enough time to perfect his skills. Three years to be exact.

Of course, all those skills were thrown out the window as soon as he caught himself alone with Eddie. He just couldn’t help but feel like he was thirteen again, having just figured out about his feelings and acting like a complete idiot.

Right now was one of those moments. Richie had been tired of being home so he decided to go down to the barrens and hang in the clubhouse. He did that a lot, even if none of his friends were there he would still stay. But he quickly noticed he wasn’t alone as he climbed down the ladder and took a glance around the space. A pair of legs hanged off the hammock. Legs that could only belong to Eddie because of the familiar sneakers and white socks. 

Immediately, Richie got his years of practice into action. 

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite type of pasta hiding down here on this fine summah day!” He exclaimed as he jumped from the third step.

The answer was silence. 

The pillar was blocking Eddie’s face from Richie’s vision so he made his way over to the hammock only to realise the boy was asleep, an unfinished comic laid open on his lap.

This was the type of situation Richie didn’t really know how to deal with. Two full minutes passed as he stared at Eddie’s sleeping form, trying to decide if he should wake him up by flipping the hammock upside down or let him sleep and wake up on his own. But soon those thoughts shifted. Without noticing, Richie wound up staring at Eddie’s peaceful face with no other thought in his mind besides: ‘That’s cute.’

“Fuck.” He sighed loudly. And then proceeded to keep staring like an idiot. It sounded creepy even in his mind, but he couldn’t help it, okay? Eddie was just that cute, and he was never allowed to stare because Eddie would start hitting him and telling him to ‘quit it, you creep’.

Richie wasn’t a creep, or so he hoped. He was just hopelessly in love.

Now, there’s a thought that doesn’t scare him at all, no sir.

“Fuuuck.” He groaned again and physically forced himself to walk away, looking for something to do while Eddie took his nap. Surely he’d be waking up soon.

For a total of four minutes Richie busied himself with his yo-yo, mindlessly walking in circles around the small space and only stealing glances at his friend once or twice. After that, he was downright bored, so he started looking around the stuff they kept stored down there hoping to find another distraction.

Stan’s can of shower caps stole his attention right away. He squinted at it curiously while an idea popped into his head. Stan had bought one shower cap for each of them, and Richie knew somewhere in that little tin there was one with a dinosaur print that was meant to be his, but he never worn it out of pride. 

Throwing another look over his shoulder to see if Eddie was still asleep, Richie grabbed the tin. Since he was the master of subtleness, he let the lid fall on the ground with a horrible noise. His neck snapped back to check Eddie, but the boy didn’t even stir.

Okay, that’s cool. Leaving the lid on the ground for the moment, Richie found what he was looking for and carefully placed the tin back in its place. It was no big deal, he just wanted to put his shower cap on at least once, so that’s what he did. Patting the top of his head to matt it down a little, he felt a little ridiculous, but he liked the pattern Stan picked out for him. He had always been a fan of dino-

“Richie.”

“Shit! I’m not wearing this, you are!” Richie fisted the thing off his head and threw it far away without looking before turning to face Eddie. Who was… still asleep and giggling?

Right, Eddie talked in his sleep sometimes. Richie could almost sigh from relief.When they were younger, Eddie would sleep over at Richie’s frequently even before he discovered the sleep talking thing. The first time it happened Richie almost peed himself because he woke up to Eddie sitting on the feet of the bed and whispering at him.

“Tell him to leave, Richie… he’s taking my space… send him away.” 

It hadn’t been fun. Richie had started crying because he didn’t know what the fuck Eddie was talking about and they were eight, okay? He was allowed to cry when he thought there was a demon laying in bed by his side that only Eddie could see.

Over time it had gotten better, Eddie didn’t move much now while he slept, but he still mumbled and called for the people he was dreaming about. 

Which meant he was dreaming about Richie. And giggling at the same time.

Richie was sure his face was very red, it suddenly felt really hot inside the clubhouse. He had decided to let it go and try to find a subtle way to wake up Eddie when the boy started mumbling through giggles again.

“Rich… stop that…” 

And that was enough to make his ears burn and for him to do a reckless thing. He stomped his way over to the hammock and fisted both hands on the fabric. Then, he tugged and screamed

“WAKE UP!” while Eddie’s body rolled onto the ground on the other side with a loud thump.

“WHO FUCKING DIED?!” Eddie screamed as he woke up mid-air, a split second before he fell on the wood. “FUCK!”

Still unaware of Richie’s presence, Eddie groaned as he slowly lifted himself into a sitting position and massaged his forehead from where he hit it on the floor. 

Richie was a jerk.

“Morning, sleeping beau-

“HOLY FUCK!” Eddie screamed again.

“Jesus, can you scream some more? I think there’s still a piece of my left eardrum that’s intact.”

“Did you fucking push me, asshole?” 

“No…?” Richie tried.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Eddie spat as he got up and brushed dirt and dust from his clothes. 

Richie tried to come up with an answer, but it was useless as Eddie started one of his ‘let’s trash Richie and speak a million words per second’ discourses. The only thing that came to his mind to save his ass from having to listen to Eddie’s endless rambling was to say something really fast and, most importantly, without thinking first.

“I HEARD YOU SAYING MY JOKES WERE FUNNY IN YOUR SLEEP!”

“You heard me say what in my sleep?” Bad choice. “Wait–why were you even listening in the first place?! How long was I asleep? You should have just woke me up-”

“Aw Eds, you’re just embarrassed because now I know the truth. You think I’m funny, I’m hi-la-ri-ous!”

Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose and placed a hand on his hip in deep frustration. “You know what? Fine! Whatever you say, Richie. If that helps you sleep at night.”

It was really the perfect opportunity. 

“Helps me? More like helps you sleep at night, Spaghetti. But there’s no need to be ashamed! I get it, I get it, I’m so handsome that I appear on all your dreams to make you happy all night long-”

And then the metal lid of Stan’s tin flew right onto his head.

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[skzhabibi]

An Old Crush (A Long, Bittersweet Personal Storytime/Rant)

When I was in Junior High, I had really, REALLY low self esteem. I was still very much in the awkward phase of puberty and all of those hormones paired with the fact I was having lots of problems at home resulted in some pretty severe mental health issues (which I won’t get too much into, because I don’t wanna trigger anyone). Not only that, but I’m naturally pretty sensitive, so any negative comments people had made about my appearance in the past, whether they were trash talking my hand-me-down clothes, pale ass skin, acne, big nose, etc., it really stuck with me. I was a mess, basically. And I’m part Arab on my mom’s side, so seeing a psychiatrist was never really an option.

Anyways, I was 13 or 14 (8th grade) when I took my 1st Spanish class. This had a bunch of the more “popular” kids in it, because they were trying to get the credit out of the way before High School and there were only 2 teachers who taught Spanish at my school, so it was bound to happen. There was a popular boy in my class, called T for the sake of the story, who sat a seat in front and to the left. I don’t know how we first started talking, but it was probably because of many factors. I laughed at his jokes, he sat near me in Spanish and English which we had right after, I was pretty solid academically at the time and he wasn’t, we had a couple mutual friends/acquaintances, etc... I guess it’s also good to mention he was known for his good looks and the fact he was A-string quarterback on our shitty little football team while I was kind of a social floater; a decent amount of people knew of me, but not many people actually knew me well, if at all.

I didn’t really pay him any mind in a romantic way at first, to be honest. I just thought he was reasonably attractive, but I figured he’d think himself “too cool” to be associated with me since that’s the vibe a lot of the other popular boys in the class had given me if I ever tried making friends with them. People really just gave me the cold shoulder in general, which hurt my feelings, so I wasn’t gonna risk it anymore. But what really made that first little crush for him start was when one day as I was rushing to get out the door first after the bell rang (which I always did because I’m impatient as fUCK and hate that huge ass crowd you had to shove through or come out last), he rushed forward, squeezing through the door around the other jocks and practically pushing them out of the way, to catch up to me and ask me to walk to English together. As an inexperienced little simp, that shit really looked like something out of a movie. It gave me such a needed boost of confidence that I actually started beaming, which was REALLY out of character for me (I’ve always been known for my “resting bitch face”).

So this became such a regular thing, walking to English, that we actually began waiting for each other by our desks to pack our stuff up, and we were usually around the last 2 to leave the room. At some point I finally plucked up the courage to ask him for his number, which was TERRIFYING because I’d never done anything like that. I think I made some excuse that since we had 2 classes together if we forgot about the homework we could remind each other (holy shit I was such a nerd). We texted a few times, but it never got super deep that I remember. I never really initiated the conversations because I didn’t want to make it seem like I liked him even though at this point I REALLY did; I even told a couple of my friends, which I didn’t normally do either. I was always someone to bottle up that shit and bury it so it never saw the light of day because I was so fucking afraid of rejection (Fragile Ass Self Esteem wants to know your location).

I literally thought that I was unlikeable in every sense of the word, so a bunch of the signs that he liked me back at the time never dawned on me. He could’ve literally screamed in my face that he liked me and I’d probably be like “As a Friend, right???”

I guess I’ll just take this moment to tell you about a bunch of the things that should’ve bee HUGE ASS signs he liked me:

1.) This girl on the volleyball team at our table in English that T knew would make passes about how he was really sought-after by a shit ton of girls and then look at me. He also looked at me afterwards like he was shy but gauging my reaction. She had a sort of Jade from Victorious vibe to her so I figured she saw through me and was trying to embarrass me by getting a reaction, so I kept my face straight.

2.) He would compliment me more than anyone else I spoke to (which was uhhhh never. I never got complimented.) For example: He was always calling me smart or a “try hard” to joke with me. I took it as an expression of friendly jealousy. When I curled my hair one day he noticed and literally said, “Can we all take a moment to appreciate (my name)’s hair?” It made me blush so hard, but I thought he was making fun of me. He would also insist on reading my shit or me reading his when the English teacher made us peer review/journal check and would compliment the work I did or my handwriting or how organized it looked. Living that emotionally stunted Y/N life.

3.) The Spanish teacher made us partner up any time there was group work, and she moved his seat to right next to mine every routine seat change. I was gullible as shit thinking that that was coincidental when he had other friends in class. I figured it was cuz I was good and he sucked at Spanish lmaooo. I’ve since read posts on reddit where teachers have confirmed that they can tell when kids have crushes on each other and they’ll play wingman/woman. When I read that I was like WAIT A DAMN MINUTE. Mrs. G was a real one and I was so fucking oblivious to it.

4.) Another girl on the volleyball team asked if he and I were dating. I was taken aback and said no, we weren’t (conveniently leaving out the “I wish”) and asked why she would think that. The reason she gave was that since people saw us walk together between classes, a lot of people figured we were together. I chalked it up to stupid gossip that had no roots in anything he said, so I laughed it off to keep from getting my hopes up.

5.) A similar thing happened AGAIN with a guy who was also on the football team. When he learned my name, he was like, “Wait, (my first and last)?” And I was like yeah wtf how did you know my last without me telling you? And he’s straight up like, “Oh, you’re the girl T has a thing for.” AND I WAS SO FUCKING BLIND OMFG I was just like well he’s never told me he likes me so even though multiple people at this point have said something I think that is completely baseless fake news.

6.) One of the MOST telling signs: he would always say hi to me outside of classes when I was alone. He found me outside my locker one day and started talking to me. The coaches would make the kids on sports teams run back to locker room, and one day he was doing that when he saw me at my locker (which was right by the sport locker rooms since I was in girls’ athletics). His teammates would glance at me while they ran by, and he told me to wait for him while he changed so we could walk to Spanish (1st period) together. Ngl, this really sealed the nail in the coffin for my huge ass crush on this kid. I was taken aback because I thought our friendship was just for convenience and he didn’t actually see me as a real friend he would be seen outside of class with. But in the end I still psyched myself out by saying I was just something to entertain him.

7.) One time in the library, I was working on printing out some paper. An annoying ass kid who was overly friendly and rode the bus with me was talking to me a lot, and I was pretty clearly not interested in my mind at least. T walked in for some reason and smiled and said “Hey, (my name)” pretty loudly. I wasn’t expecting to see him, so I was just like “Oh, hey, T,” because I lack social skills. He glanced at the kid and back at me and his face kinda dropped before he kept walking. I think the kid asked me to hang out with him and our mutual friend and I was basically like no thanks man I’m kinda busy.

8.) Other times he would do this as well. One time my girl friend and I were sitting across from each other at a lunch table in the morning after getting off the bus. Out of LITERALLY NOWHERE he just swoops in and sits next to my friend across from me and starts talking to me about some project in Spanish he finished, showing me excitedly what he wrote and asking if it was right. He pretty much ignored my friend, and she was hella socially anxious and knew about my crush on him so she kinda got huge eyes and shut down socially. He and I talked for a bit before it got awkward because we ran out of shit to say and it was awkward now that we had an extra person and we pretty much only talked to each other without anyone else in the conversation. He left after that and my friend and I freaked tf out.

9.) One time while I was waiting for the bus in the cafeteria after school, I was alone because my friends were taking too long. I was on my phone when he comes up and starts talking to me. I was hella fucking awkward because for some reason I‘m always a fucking stiff around the person I like. Then my guy friend who rode the same bus came up and cock blocked the shit out of T because he’s super fucking loud and just starts fucking around. He and I are super close even to this day and I guess T got intimidated by how easily we were joking around and kinda saw himself out before I could say anything.

10.) THIS LIST IS GETTING TOO LONG SKDJDJASKDJDJ BUT I FUCKIN FORGOT whenever we would walk between classes we would sometimes not even talk. Like whenever the conversation died we would just kinda stare into each other’s eyes 😂 I thought I was just being creepy, but he fucking smiled at me when it happened why am I so dUmB fUUUCK. Also sometimes the popular kids would run up behind us and fuck with him like make fun of him or make some sort of awkward pass that I wouldn’t react to before running down the hall ahead of us. My guess now is that he was meaning to make a move but my neutral reaction to whatever dumbass thing they said made it impossible to tell if I felt the same so he chickened out.

ANYWAYS I think our little friendship/mutual pining fizzled our after one time he made a more up front attempt because at this point he was probably fed up with waiting for me to get the hint but this exchange really fucking backfired:

Basically he got a girlfriend, this girl on GUESS WHAT??! THE VOLLEYBALL TEAM. I heard about it straight from him while we’re walking to English together and that shit hurted but I was like whatever I still want him as a friend and this pretty much confirmed in my mind that he NEVER liked me. So basically he’s talking about how he’s been seeing her to pass the time but he doesn’t actually like her. And I was like why not? She’s really cool/nice and REALLY pretty. But if you don’t like her then why date her? Seems like a waste of time. He’s like yeah well basically she said she liked me so I asked her out but tbh I think she’s annoying. And I’m like what did she do something on a date that was annoying? STILL UTTERLY CLUELESS AND HES DEADASS LIKE what are you jealous like in a flirty way and my DUMB. ASS. Is like.... WHATTTT PSHHH NO I MEAN WE’RE JUST BROSSS AHAHA.

Can I get an F in the chat pls?

Basically we just stopped talking after a while. I think my friend texting his brother officially knifed the shit out of that ship’s sail. Years later I confessed that I liked him back then and asked if he liked me back back then so I could stop worrying about gaslighting myself and he’s basically like yeah I would’ve tried something with you (came across really unenthusiastic). And then one time in like my freshman year of community college I was with my bio study group in the library going to where we were meeting up for a project when I felt eyes on me from the computers and literally LOCKED EYES WITH HIM AND HES JUST LIKE 👁👄👁

LMAO I PRETENDED LIKE I DIDNT KNOW THAT BITCH

OH TO SEE WITHOUT MY EYES

1 like = 1 smash of your head against the wall at my fucking idiocy

[a-pretty-nerd]

Nolan Raybrun x reader: Hate Turns to Love, Part 2

Nolan feels defeated, and sorry. He’d have apologized if it wasn’t for his lack of information. He goes to Sally. And tells her, he knows. He knows you’re pregnant, he knows you’ve been pregnant before but…he’s confused. Sally sighs, and crosses her arms as she leans against the railing of the portch.

“Nolan, Y/Ns…had it rough this past year. It’s a miracle she’s pregnant right now. And you might not understand her motives, but-”

“What happened?” He asks, determined.

“When Y/N came to work for me as an assistant, she did an amazing job and she still does. And Rocky fell in love with her. So, she became more of a nanny than assistant overtime. That was a little over a year ago. Back then, she was a different person. Nolan. She went out, partied. Kept it a good secret from me until one day. She called in sick. And for a while, she just wasn’t coming to work. I was really struggling without her. I realized I needed her around so, I tracked her down at her apartment. There. I found her. A mess.” Sally pauses, and looks at Nolan. He’s intently listening. “She told me, that she wasn’t doing so well. That she could barley afford rent, her roommate had stolen from her and skipped town…And that she…was raped.” Nolan sighs, and covers his face.

“Fuuuck.” He hisses.

“After a particularly bad night of drinking, she got into someone’s car. And woke up the next day at her apartment doorstep. So I made a deal with her, that she come and live with me as Rocky’s live in Nanny. A few weeks later, she learns she’s pregnant. And she panics. She was a wreck all over again. Crying, and even contemplating suicide. So I took her to a doctor, and I paid…for the procedure.”

“Abortion?” He asks, and Sally just nods.

“Doctors said, something went wrong. She shouldn’t be able to get pregnant again. But…apparently…they were wrong.” Her eyes shift from Nolan to inside the house.

“I didn’t know. Oh god, I was so angry with her, Sally. I didn’t know…”

“Of course you didn’t know, Nolan. How could you have?” She pulls him in for a small hug to reassure him.

The next morning, you wake up to the faint smell of pancakes, bacon, and coffee. You stumble down stairs, and find Nolan in the kitchen. Making breakfast. He turns, and looks at you.

“Morning.” He gives a small smile.

“Morning…” You say, not in the mood for smiles. You make yourself some coffee.

“Breakfast?” He asks.

“No um. I’m running late for a doctors appointment.” You say bluntly. “And then, I’m running airands for Sally.”

“What time will you be home?” You shrug.

“I don’t know, Nolan. Please just…I need some space.” He nods. “Could you, wake up Rocky this morning? He’s… gonna love this.” You gesture to the display of food on the island counter. Nolan just nods again, and you leave to get ready. While you're gone, Nolan is left to take care of little Rocky. He’s always felt awkward with kids but, he gives it a real try. It helps a little that Rocky loves him. But, once Rocky gets difficult. Nolan starts to break down a little. He gets fustrated. Tries to take deep breathes to calm himself down. It works, a little. But if he can barely take care of rocky on his own…what would it be like with his own kid?

His own panic starts to set in a little. He worries, and worries. Maybe you wouldn’t keep it. But…it didn’t sound like you were up for another abortion, and besides. Health wise, that could be dangerous for you. Adoption? Maybe but…Nolan knew what it was like to be all alone. His parents tried their best, but undoubtedly failed him time and time again. He didn’t wish that on anoyone else. He looked at his little cousin, and realized that he was in a very similar boat. Only he, didn’t know it yet. Caring for him after that, seemed a little easier. Nolan even got him down for a nap.

Hours went by, and you still weren’t home. Nolan started to worry. Did something happen to you? Did you, run away? He sat in a chair all night waiting for you, watching the front door. You didn’t come home until well after the kid and Sally went to bed. When the front opened Nolan bolted out of his seat. He stood. Awkwardly. You held heavy bags of food and other things from Sally’s list. Which he rushed to help you with. Traveling to the kitchen to put everything down and away.

“It’s late.” Nolan said.

“It’s 9 o'clock, Nolan.” You groaned. “How was Rocky?” You asked.

“Good.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. What? You don’t think I could handle it?” He asks defensively.

“I didn’t say that.” You stated. Nolan leaned against a counter, and tapped his fingers against the top.

“How was the doctor’s?” He asked.

“It was fine. Still pregnant.” You said sarcastically.

“How far, along?” He seemed awkward, but genuinely interested.

“A month.”

“Oh.”

“What do you mean, ‘oh’?”

“Nothing it’s just…that means…it was that night. On the balcony.” He smiles a little. You remember it fondly. And you don’t regret it for a damn second. Probably the best sexual experience of your life.

“Yeah. That night.” A minute of silence passes, as you put away the groceries. Until Nolan gets the courage.

“Sally told me.” You freeze.

“Told you what?”

“About…before. Y/N…I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that-”

“I know you didn’t know, Nolan.” You say, stopping him from stepping any closer than he already has. “That wasn’t…that wasn’t the issue. What happened a year ago. I can’t change what it, no matter how much I want to. But thats for me to come to terms with. And I have. And I learned from it. And yes, it still hurts to think about, but that event is not all that I am. So I don’t want your sympathy, or any of that. Okay?” Nolan stays still, and nods.

“Okay.” He looks like he’s just as close to crying as you are.

“The issue, Nolan. Was that…you were angry. You came at me, guns ablaze and you were…angry. I was going to tell you I just…a better way then that. I wanted to…I don’t know…We haven’t been dating long, and I’m so…so scared but I just wanted to do something nicer.” You couldn’t hold back the tears, and the sobbing started. Nolan swung his arms around you and held you close. His tears dripping from his face to the top of your head.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I’m not angry…p-please just don’t…don’t go anywhere. Okay?”

“Go anywhere?”

“I don’t wanna lose you. Im so scared but I…I don’t wanna lose you, or it. I’d be crushed if you left.” You smile softly through your tears, and look up at him.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. I’ve got nowhere else to call home.”

“This is your home, Y/N.”