#he's been a victim of assault and r*pe for a long while now

[the-mjolnir-owner]

☀ What’s your rp pet peeve?

The salty af munday meme

People who are only trying to f*ck or get f*cked by Thor. Trust me, that's quite a LOT.

[m-ilkiee]

Monsters: Mikey Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa

Chapter 2: Shots Fired

series summary: your grievous sin was Emma standing up for you to her brothers. and now you’re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.

chapter summary: Izana Kurokawa demands your attention and he doesn’t take no for an answer. Not even when his demands are outrageous.

cw: DARK CONTENT, MISOGYNY, NSFW, r*pe mention, religious guilt, depictions of PTSD and CPTSD, emotional incest, incestuous assault (NOT THE SANOS), abandoment issues, violence, revenge porn, depression, filming without consent, drugging, domestic (physical and sexual) abuse, victim blaming, blackmailing, depictions of rape culture, manipulation, gaslighting, noncon, dry humping, mind break, psychological and sexual torture, use of firearms, attempted su*cides

r-18+ (not suitable for 17 and under)

wc: 11.6k

[masterlist] [chapter 1] [chapter 3] [taglist]

a/n: likes are nice, comments and reblogs with comments are superior, anons are also superior too and would make me update faster cause it means people like what i write. this chapter takes an entirely different turn from the old story, some scenes are similar but the context is different. i host polls after this so stay tuned.

 YOU haven’t been able to stay asleep for the past few days.

It’s easy to fall asleep after a hard and stressful day at school and your part-time job. Your limbs ache from all the walking and lugging a bookbag far heavier than what you could handle -since all your e-textbooks were on your (now destroyed) laptop and phones were not allowed during lectures. And working from 5pm until 9pm at a restaurant, serving food to rude, overbearing customers only to be paid in pieces was another added stress in itself.

Not to mention, studying until the words are bleary and just looking at a book hurts your eyes.

But then, in all your dreams, everything you’ve pushed to the back of your memory is at the forefront. Your dream starts typically, your normal school day, waking up, dressing in your cute little blue crop sweater and jean skirt with socks. You go to classes, and then you see Mikey’s car waiting for Emma.

Things take a different turn. He’s the one getting out of the car to meet you. It’s like a siren call, him holding out his hand for you to take despite someone screaming for you to stop. You try to reject him, try to run away like the voice said but you end up getting trapped. This time, he’s not using his hands. He’s fully sheathed inside you, robbing you of the thing you hold so dear while you kick, bite and claw at him until you wake up screaming, sweat soaked all over your sheets.

You consistently dream of being violently raped by Manjiro Sano.

The next few hours until sunrise were equally horrible. You’re quietly sobbing into your pillows, praying to God to forgive you for letting Mikey touch you in the first place, assuming your reason for having such dreams was God’s divine judgement for your grievous sin. You’ve lost count on how many Bible verses you stay up reading until your eyes are bleary and the sun comes up.

No matter how much you pray and how many times you recite psalms 127 before you sleep, you can never escape Mikey in the world of dreams. He’s a virus that has invaded your thoughts, corrupting every dream you had and twisted them into nightmares.

You don’t know how long you can hold on being this sleep deprived. It’s been impairing your school life, trying to find a way to stay awake during classes only for you to fall asleep and miss the rest of it. Even when you got notes from the person next to you, reading them was always difficult because your eyes hurt so much.

Work was even more taxing and stressful, rush week adding more stress than you could ever imagine. You found yourself spacing out more than usual when you were supposed to be taking orders. You were unable to keep up with the fast paced environment, your body feeling like a ton of bricks with every moment you make. Your eyes were heavy lidded, tired from forcing them open throughout the day.

You were so, so tired-

“Hello! Are you sleeping on me young lady?” A voice snapped at you.

Your eyes shot open and immediately you stood back straight. You must have been dozing off while taking the older lady’s order -the very thing you’ve been trying to avoid all day long. “No, not at all Ms-” you started to explain. “-I was just … what was your order aga-”

You flinched when the woman angrily slammed her fist on the table, shutting you up instantly! “So you were sleeping on the job! What kind of establishment allows this?” She screamed, attracting the attention of customers around. “I need to speak to your manager. NOW!”

You instantly began to panic at the mention of your manager. If he heard any of this, he was definitely going to fire you. You cannot afford to lose this job right now, with all your school expenses and saving up money for next session’s tuition.

“No mam!” you begged, keeping your voice even as you tried to reason with her. “Th-there’s no need for that! Please! Let me take your order and I’ll-” you racked your brain for an excuse, knowing fully well your establishment does not offer free meals. “- I’ll pay for your meal! On me-”

“So you’re trying to imply I’m poor?” She interrupted you again, her tempo even higher than before. “You disrespectful little wretch! How dare you? GET ME YOUR MANAGER RIGHT NOW!”

You started begging the older woman, trying to calm her down and de-escalate the situation, but each plea only fuelled her rage. By now, every customer, every employee and just anyone in that place watched you grovel and beg this woman to calm down, some people even videoing your altercation. Your body was trembling as she screeched in your ears, calling you all sorts of names while you relentlessly apologised to her.

“What is going on here?”

You winced at the sound of your manager’s voice emerging from the backrooms. You stood stiffly as he walked to your side, using his shoulder to nudge you out of the way. “Is there something wrong Ms.?” He asked the lady. “What happened?”

“This little wretch!” She practically screeched at you, her finger wagging straight at your hung face. “She was sleeping while I was ordering! And when I pointed it out to her calmly, she called me a hag!”

Your eyes snapped open. You can tolerate people yelling at you, but lying is out of the question. “I did not call you anything! That’s a lie-”

“You be quiet!” Your manager yelled at you, silencing you. He turned to face the woman again, apologising profusely for your so called rude behaviour. “I promise you mam, she will be dealt with accordingly. Your order is in the house, please take that as a token of our humble apology and forgive us.”

You stood there in shock as the woman smirked satisfactorily at her now free meal. “Well, you better get rid of her!” She snarked, eyes scanning you up and down, plopping back down on her seat. “Or you’ll lose me as a patron.”

“Of course mam.” He said sweetly before switching his countenance towards you into a more irritated one. “You, come with me.”

You lowered your head once again in disappointment as you started following your manager towards the back rooms, your head lowered in shame as the eyes followed your every move to your damnation waiting for you in the manager’s office.

Your skin crawled as you felt his penetrating gaze on you, as if judging you. “You know how many complaints I have received this week just from you, (name)? How many orders you’ve messed up?”

You shook your head no in response, not trusting yourself to say anything reasonable at this point. He eyes you up and down again before scoffing at you rudely. “I only let you stay here because you said you were desperate for a job. But apparently, you’re not even bothered enough to keep it.” He spat out. “Unfortunately for you, this is the end of the road for you here. Change out of your uniform and leave.”

“But s-”

“I said you’re FIRED. GET OUT.”

You sighed weakly, obeying your now ex-manager’s order and leaving the office. You ignored the eyes of everyone watching you exchange the too tight black jeans and green top uniform back to your white bohemian skirt and light blue top with your white jacket. Calmly, you packed your school bag and everything you owned with you and slung it over your shoulder, replacing the uniform back to the locker, dropping the key on top.

No one said goodbye to you as you left through the back door.

  IZANA knows it's creepy to be waiting for Emma just outside her college, but it's not like he has a choice when she keeps ignoring any method he uses to contact her.

Mindlessly, he fiddled with his lighter with his back on the wall of the English department building and an unlit cigarette between his lips. Purple eyes scanned the people leaving the building one by one, hoping to find a mop of golden hair amongst the students. His hopes rose with each blond he saw, only for him to deflate when he realised they weren't her.

A few minutes passed and still no sign of Emma. Deciding that he didn’t want to stand around and gape, Izana lifted his lighter towards his cigarette, flicking the light twice and bringing the warm flame to his lips. Breathing in the familiar scent of nicotine, smoke filled his lungs as he tucked the lighter back in his pockets. His free hand took the cigarette from his lips and he exhaled, releasing plumes of smoke from his lips.

His smoking habit had gotten worse within the past week. Izana couldn’t help it, reaching for a light anytime he saw his gifts in the dustbin. Emma hasn’t been this angry at him before. Usually a new plushie was enough to wash his sins clean, no matter how grevious they were. Now, not even the most expensive shoes she’s been eyeing for months could satiate her anger.

All because of you.

Izana knows his little sister like the back of his hand. Like how she loved sleeping with plushies because it comforted her whenever their mother brought her gambling friends into the house and they were loud. Or how he picked up a guitar to learn multiple barbie songs because their mother had destroyed Emma’s CD that he bought with his money to punish her. He knew she liked warm tea during her periods and gentle back rubs to ease her pain. He’s not the best person to be around, with how fucked over he was by life until Shinichiro gave him purpose but he loved his sister a lot and everything he did was to protect her. Life hardened him, made him so jaded that the only thin thread connecting him to his humanity was Emma and he’d do anything to protect his humanity.

Only to watch it slip through his fingers.

First it was Mikey’s stupid friend, Ken Ryugi, who waltzed his way into Emma’s life. Izana didn’t like him one bit- didn’t like how Emma would bite her lip, waiting for him to reply and cry herself to sleep when he didn’t. Her heart was soft, fragile and that brute tore it apart by telling her he wasn’t interested in a relationship yet.

The only reason Ken wasn’t in an unmarked, shallow grave in the middle of nowhere was simply because Mikey was involved.

Now it is you, taking the space in her life that belonged to him and Mikey. You’re pushing both of them out of the equation, threatening their position in their sister’s life and everything they know.

Izana wonders how someone so insignificant was so important to Emma that she was willing to cut communications with her own brothers. It baffles him beyond understanding and at the same time enrages him that she could trust you so easily. That she was willing to turn against him in your name.

He took more puffs, skimming throughout the campus for any sight of her. It didn’t matter how he felt about it, as Kisaki had convinced him to ask Emma and you to go shopping, just to get back into Emma's good graces again. Apparently doing a nice gesture publicly for you would convince their sister to give them another chance again.

Especially because Izana had been the biggest opposition to their friendship.

“But Mikey was a little shit about them too.” he grumbles underneath his breath, cigarette in hand. “Why do I have to be the one to apologise? And why did Mikey get an out while I’m doing all the heavy lift-”

His thoughts were cut short the second he caught sight of a familiar blonde hair bouncing in the wind and stood up straight, tossing the cigarette to the floor and crushing it underneath his black shoes, before rushing to catch up to his little sister.

Izana pushed through the throng of people, violently shoving anyone that got in his way until he finally fell in step with her, slowing down to match her pace. Without wasting time, his hand curled around the girl’s wrist, stopping her in her tracks instantly and earning a shocked gasp escaped her lips.

“Get off me - Izana?”

Her free hand was fast to hit him, but her head was faster in turning around, only to recognize it was just Izana. Her hand stopped inches away from the smirking male’s face, the tension leaving her body and relief taking its place. It doesn’t last long, though as irritation suddenly crawls on her face, instantly displeased at his actions. “What the hell? I’ve told you to stop doing that.” she hissed at him.

A mischievous grin made its way to his face at Emma’s irritation. She always had a pout whenever she was angry at him and it made look even more adorable.

“Were you scared?” He teased, pulling Emma closer to him until she was practically smushed at his side, despite the glare she gave him in response. “You know no one would dare touch you.”

“Get off me. Your breath stinks like nicotine, I thought you said you quit smoking that shit.”

Ignoring Emma’s last question, he decided to change the topic. “Your lapdog isn't here with you?” he asked. Usually, you would be hovering behind her like a damn pest, so you not being around her was rather strange. 

Emma is quick to shove him off lightly, putting some distance between the two of them, clearly still mad at him. "(Name)'s not feeling well, so she didn't come to class today. I'm on my way to get her medicine."

Oh, that's a surprise.

But with you out of the way, Izana could finally have Emma all to himself for today and hang out with his beloved sister. Maybe even make up for the party thing without apologising to you. Without you here, it’s likely Emma isn’t as mad at the whole situation and is playing it up to make you feel like you have someone on your side.

He knows you’re not going to protest if Emma says she’s in talking terms with her brothers again. It’s a win-win situation and he doesn’t have to grovel or ask for forgiveness for some joke that went wrong.

"So that means we can hang out?"

"Excuse me?"

"You don't have to keep pretending you're still mad at me now that she isn't here." He spews the 'she' with so much venom it could kill, before switching up with a sick grin, his hand stretched out. "We can go to Vivienne Westwood and get that Saturn necklace you like, what do you say?"

His words hung in the air as Emma trailed her pointed glare from his hand, back to his cheerful visage. She crossed her arms in response slowly, her yellow eyes burning holes into his face as her lips curled into a sick sneer.

“Are you insane?”

“What?”

“Don’t ‘what?’ me Izana! I just told you (name)'s ill and you're asking me to go with you to shop at Vivienne westwood? Are you nuts?”

Emma’s voice was loud enough to garner wandering eyes of other by-standers, watching the event go down. Izana kept his composure, despite his bubbling irritation beneath the surface of his skin, with a smile -albeit stiffer than before. ‘She’s just being emotional’ Izana whispered to himself, still trying to be rational. ‘Just take it easy with her’

“Oh come on, should I care about her-"

"You should be begging her to forgive you for what you did to her that night!"

"You can't still be mad at me for that shit that happened two weeks ago. And besides, it's not my fault she couldn't take a joke” his words were smooth, buttery, flowing out of his lips like it was the truth, digging his own grave. “I didn’t know your friend was that sensitive-”

“Are you listening to the bullshit coming from your mouth?” Emma roared, her voice echoing throughout the entirety of the department, her face red with fury. Izana had never seen his own beloved sister ever look at him with such disgust in her eyes, her teeth gnashing against each other and hands at her side, clenching against each other. “Is that what you think a joke sounds like?”

“Calm the fuck dow-”

“No wonder you’re fucking single, you’re such a piece of shit to anyone that isn’t Shinichiro!” Emma screamed, interrupting Izana once again, her temper fiery enough to burn a hole on the ground she stood with how heated she was. “How does anyone even stand you for so long? You’re unbearable!”

“Excuse m-”

He doesn’t like where the conversation is going, with how furious Emma was right now. He tried to raise a comforting hand to Emma’s shoulder to ease her tension but she was quick to smack it away from her hard, stinging his fingers a little.

“You’re so unpleasant, how do you even have any friends? How do they tolerate you? To think (name) wanted me to forgive you! Thank god you aren’t my fucking brother, I can’t imagine being anything like you!”

The words left her mouth before she could stop herself.

It was as if the world froze over for Izana. He stood there, wide eyed, his heart beating loudly in his chest as all the voices around him faded into the background. His hand extended weakly at his side, mouth drying up as a lump formed in his throat. 

“I-I-i" she starts to stutter. It’s obvious that she can recognize what she had just said as he blankly stared at her. "I didn't mean i-”

He doesn’t let her finish, turning on his heel and walking away as fast as possible. People were quick to clear out of his way, not wanting to be his target of aggression. Emma followed behind, instantly, shouting his name at the top of her lungs followed with strings of apologies.

“Izana, wait please-” she screamed from the crowd of people, tears streaming from her yellow eyes. He continued to ignore her as he hopped on his bike, sliding in the key and revving up the engine before she could reach him.

Izana zoomed away, turning Emma’s cries into background noise, her words repeating in his head.

“I didn’t mean it! I’M SORRY-”

YOU don't know which was worse, the feeling of helplessness that came with the reality of your life crashing before your very eyes or the splitting headache you've developed after crying in your room for a week straight. Laying on your bed all day, huddled up in a blanket and sobbing uncontrollably was unhealthy, but it was all you found the strength to do these days. 

In all your years of being alive, you've never felt this pathetic. Not when you would be pushed outside in the pouring rain if you made a mistake in making dinner, or had been beaten with a belt in front of Yuzhua and Hakkai because you failed your catechism test. You could protect yourself from your brothers when they got violent. You could run and hide when your dad was really angry and wanted to take it out on you.

Unfortunately, no one told you what to do when your life is falling apart.

Ever since that day, you couldn't find the strength to go to class or do anything for that matter. It was like your entire energy was sucked out of you, leaving your body an empty husk with nothing left to give. 

You only have yourself to blame.

You drag the blankets closer to your body, sniffling a bit. The worst part of all of this is that after this month, if you don’t find a job that pays you quickly, you are going to be broke. It’s times like this that makes you regret leaving your family. You know it’s wishful thinking, but you wonder if you would be forgiven assuming you return home in tears and repentant of your sin of disobedience like the prodigal son in the bible. Life is too hard to live in the outside world without the help and guidance of a parent. You miss your old life, with your own bed and guaranteed food, as long as you did as you were told. You miss how sometimes your parents took you and your siblings to eat out after church.

You miss your mother. You want to go back to her. Life is hard, and dealing with being jobless with nowhere to turn to is harder. You could ask Emma, but she’s already taking care of you and there was no way you would bother your friend about your money problems.

"Hey babes, I got the medicine for you."

Emma's soft voice rouses you out of your self-pity session. The wood creaks underneath her heels as she walks to your bed and takes a seat besides you, the mattress dipping underneath her weight. The scent of her Vivienne Westwood wafting through your nostrils fills you with a sense of warmth, familiarity and at the same time, dread.

You feel guilty. Perhaps it's because you don't know how to tell Emma what exactly is wrong with you. It's easier to give her the half-truth that you caught a stomach bug than say everything. If you even as much as hinted that Manjiro had something to do with the real reason you were a sobbing mess on your bed, you're sure she would overreact and fight with her brothers again.

But still, not telling her meant you were keeping secrets from her. Something you both promised not to ever do as you two became best-friends.

‘It’s for her own good.’ you try to justify it. ‘It’s better I keep my mouth shut.’

Pushing that thought at the back of your mind, you roll over to her direction, pulling down your blanket just a little bit to see her properly. Your heart drops at the sadness etched onto Emma’s face, a forlorn look in her eyes. You hated seeing her down, yet all you’ve been doing for the past few months since you came into her life was causing her pain. You know how it feels to lose family, no matter how bad they were to you and Emma is no different.

“Hey”

Your voice is hoarse from your constant crying, but Emma doesn’t mention it as she reaches a hand to caress your face. “You look better than yesterday. You up to eat?”

You nodded briefly, realising how hungry you were. You’ve barely had an appetite to eat anything, so your rations had been smaller and compact until you regained it back bit by bit, thanks to Emma’s constant care. Pushing yourself up, you sit up and yawn, quickly covering your mouth the moment a bad stench emanates from it. Emma’s face quickly grows sour as well, probably smelling it too.

“You haven’t showered.”

“Uhhh-”

You knew there was no excuse for that one as Emma put the food and medicine away before yanking you off the bed while talking about how gross you were for not showering throughout today. “You’re a girl (name), don’t do this to yourself, c’mon-”

“But-” you start to whine, trying to defend yourself. “I was tired-”

“Nope!” she retorted, pushing you towards the bathroom. “No excuses! I swear you’re acting like Mikey when he’s in one of his moods-”

The room falls silent at her words, the cheerful aura dropping the second Emma realises what she’s said, a wave of guilt washing over her face as she lets go of your hands.

“Fuck- I’m sorry (name)...”

Your heart aches at how heartbroken she sounds right now and shatters even further at the fact that everything, every problem they were experiencing right now was all your fault. You saw it deep in Mikey’s eyes how much pain and suffering your presence in their family had caused, and how his anger reflected that action towards you. You’ve been so entrenched in your own problems that you forgot the mess you made in their family.

“Emma, you miss them don’t you?”

‘It’s not too late.’ You mutter to yourself, your heart in your throat as you steel your resolve. You couldn’t let her make that mistake you made by leaving your family aside. You don’t want Emma to be like you.

“(Name), please don’t-”

“You can’t keep ignoring them forever.” You cut her short, speaking directly to her now. “You can’t keep ignoring Draken either too. You’re miserable.”

“I’m fin-”

“Emma no.” You snap at her, finally having enough of her stubbornness as anger swells up in you. “I see how sad you look everytime you look at your pictures with your big brothers and Draken. Do you think that it’s healthy to keep ignoring them like this?”

“You were the one they hurt, you shouldn’t feel bad for them-”

“It doesn’t matter! I don’t matter!” You yell desperately, now pulling away from her grasp in an attempt to put your foot down. “They are the ones who matter a lot. Those are you family members! People who love you and have protected you for years! Just talk it out with them! They miss you for god’s sake!”

“What the hell do you mean you don’t matter?” Emma roars back at you, suddenly enraged by your outburst. You nearly stumble back at how angry she sounded, fear creeping into your skin as your verbal claws retract. “You matter to me! You mean the world to me as any of them do! You’re my best friend and I love you and if they don’t understand that then there is nothing to make up for!”

By the time she was done yelling, her breathing was heavy and her eyes so intense you couldn’t even stare at her. Your eyes quickly flickered to your feet instead; scared of seeing the disappointment on her face and terrified of her anger. You didn’t like it when Emma yelled, it reminded you of your mother getting angry at you, something you hated doing to her.

Eventually, she took a deep breath and took a step closer to you, her hand intertwined with yours. “Come on, I’ll help you shower.”

You silently follow behind her, eyes downcast and shoulders slumped.

  PERHAPS Izana should be angry at Emma.

It would be justified after the words she said from her mouth, but he can’t because he knows the truth. Emma was just angry as well and she didn’t mean any of the words she had said to hurt him. She said them because of you, however and he realises that every fight they’ve had is over your presence in her life.

Which meant that the true culprit was you.

People may believe in love at first sight, but from the first day Izana set his eyes on you, he could only feel hatred towards you. You were just there, sitting awkwardly while Emma tried to involve you in their conversation and it irked him.

At first, Izana thought it was the fact that the both of you were clashing personalities that made him feel that way, but then you keep getting in his way and ruining things for him. He hates everything about you - the way you picked your finger when you were nervous. Your bright smile you gave to only Emma and how easy it was for her to like you. Just your mere presence in general was enough to set him off because of how simple it was for you to be close to Emma while you barely knew her. It felt like he was losing his only sister to a stranger, and now the Emma who stands in front of him is a mere mockery of his real sister.

And that’s the frustrating part. He can’t do anything to hurt you. He’s smart enough to know that if he does, Emma would never forgive him.

“... Kurokawa, are you here with us?”

Izana snaps back to reality as Kisaki taps the table three times to get his attention. ‘I might have spaced out.’ He thinks to himself before facing the entirety of the table; Tetta Kisaki, the rather shrewd and ruthless dealer sitting, his equally irritating lap dog Shuji Hanma and the little shit that he called his younger brother, Mikey.

Speaking of Mikey, ever since that day he made that phone call and revealed his brand new plan of accepting you into their friend group, he’s been very quiet. Even throughout today’s meeting, he hasn’t said a word, aside from mentioning that Draken was going to be absent and asking where Kakucho was before the meeting began.

And knowing his brother, a quiet Mikey is a suspicious Mikey.

Now that Izana thinks about it, he’s noticed that Mikey, who was on his side initially had suddenly switched to trying to apologise to you. Which was weird, considering how egocentric Mikey could be on the topic of apologising. Izana has his suspicions, but then again Mikey is unpredictable due to his rather dark impulses, so he couldn’t really say anything yet, until Kakucho came back from his task.

Izana cleared his throat and faced Kisaki again, deciding to be as honest as possible. After all, it’s their fault that he’s in this mess, might as well remind them. “Just thinking about how Emma practically called me a bastard and I’m supposed to be okay with it.” He said nonchalantly and the air in the room shifted into an uncomfortable silence for the upteenth time this week ever since that unfortunate day. It isn’t surprising to anyone as to why though, Izana’s complicated relationship with the Sano’s is a sore topic that no one ever dared to bring up.

From Kisaki’s tight lipped expression, Izana is sure that the younger male is picking his words carefully in his head. Even Hanma who would have laughed or said something to intentionally piss off Izana remains silent. Eventually, Kisaki lets out a resigned sigh. “The audit would be done another time.” He states in a cool tone, putting his laptop aside before facing the two brothers. “It’s obvious we’re not gonna do anything useful until you resolve this issue with Emma and her friend.”

“Really?” The white haired male mocks, causing Kisaki to shift in his place, an irritated frown creasing his face. “would you like to hear my pla-”

“We’re not going to kill a civilian and draw attention to ourselves, Izana. I’ve already told you what to do.” Kisaki snapped back, his yellow eyes darting from Izana to Mikey, before narrowing in irritation. “Both of you. Just apologise to (name), it’s not that hard. You don’t even have to mean it, the girl won’t even know the difference-”

“Ah yes, cause that went well the last time.”

“And whose fault is that? I clearly told you to say “I’m sorry” and all you did was make things worse!”

“I’m just brutally honest.” Izana spits back. “And you can’t blame me because I tried, compared to Mikey who sits on his damn ass and has done nothing-”

“I wasn’t the one who called her a cheap hooker!” Mikey interjects defensively, sitting upright after staying quiet from the start of this meeting, finally saying something.

“Oh, so you can speak.” Izana retorts back, his voice cold. Mikey is so good at shifting blame onto others for actions he has a hand in, especially when he knows it would reflect badly on him. Unfortunately, Izana has been in this game longer than his little brother. “I thought you had gone mute with the way you don’t want to talk about the issue beyond pushing me to apologise to her.”

“You don’t make it any easier with how you talk to people.” Mikey hisses back, his tempo rising with each word, but Izana can hear the slight shake in his voice, almost as if he’s hiding something. “How am I supposed to do anything if you keep saying shit like you’re glad (name)’s gone?”

(Name)?

The entire room falls silent at Mikey’s sudden outburst, or rather what Mikey had just said. No one says a word as they all stare at Mikey in shock, eye wide and mouth hanging open like he’d grown two heads. There’s a glimmer of confusion in the dark eyed male before the realisation of his mistake washes over him, his facial expression changing into a mixture of guilt and pure terror.

As if he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t have.

It’s unmistaken. Izana knows his brother is hiding something and it has to do with you. “You’ve never,” he starts slowly, never taking his eyes off Mikey, gauging his facial expression. “called her by her name. You only call girls who you had something to do with by their name.”

“I-”

“You fucked her, didn’t you.” it’s a statement, not a question. Mikey grows pale and it's more of a sure answer than anything else at all.

“I didn’t do anything bad… she’s still a virgin-”

“What.” Kisaki, interjecting as well, cuts him off, his voice cold. “Did. You. Do?”

Mikey is silent. It’s brief and doesn’t last long as he finally seals his fate with a quiet voice. “It’s not my fucking fault, she wore a short skirt and she was asking for it-”

At the side, Kisaki crumples back onto the dining table seat, his head in his hands muttering a quiet “Oh fuck, I should have stayed with Osanai.” as he shakes in disbelief. Hanma just sits there, clearly perturbed, not knowing how to react but at the same time, not really interested.

“Glad to know I’m not the only screw up.” Izana scoffs as well. Despite how cheery his voice sounded, the furious look on his face says a different story altogether. “Since apparently you’re just as stupid as I am.”

Mikey runs a hand through his golden locs, frustration evident on his features. No one has ever seen him look so frantic, like a little kid who broke something and is trying to hide it. “I didn’t do anything wrong. Sure she said no at first but I knew she wanted it when she relaxed in my touch-”

“That’s not what Emma’s gonna think, you idiot!” Izana barks at him angrily, his temper finally off the rails. “You practically threw away your entire plan before it even started! All for what? Mediocre pussy you could get from some other girl? And you know how Shin is about this shit. If Emma finds out and tells him, we’re screwed!”

There’s a mixture of emotions swirling in Izana right now. The urge to punch Mikey was strong, for daring to not only lie to his face, but also making him look like a fool to cover his ass.

Then again, he knows it’s really not Mikey’s fault but yours. You must have done something to make Mikey hurt you because he knows his little brother doesn’t hurt girls. You have this effect of turning people into worse versions of themselves, making them disgusting, evil and hateful.

You turned Emma against them and now you made Mikey’s dark impulses come out.

It’s you that’s the problem.

“So what anyone find out? They won’t believe her” Mikey snarls back, irritated. “She can’t blame me, I told her to fucking leave but she didn’t listen! She was practically begging me to fuck her-”

“ENOUGH!”

Kisaki’s voice is loud enough to silence the two brothers, ending their argument instantly as they breathe heavily from their prior screaming match. Izana slumps back on his seat as Kisaki sits up straight, eyes narrowed. Mikey does the same as Izana, his jaw tightly clenched as he crosses his arms on his chest, feet crossed. The younger male clears his throat, and starts to rationalise the situation.

“It’s obvious that we’re going to switch gears since this happened. We all have a curated reputation that we need to protect so that people don’t nose into our business.” He turns to Mikey who is still glaring hard at Izana. “Your brother has a point, you fucked up our plan by not telling anyone what you did-”

“You judging me too, Kisaki?”

���Can you stop being defensive for once Mikey and just listen!” Kisaki scolds, just about done with everyone making things more difficult for him. “I don’t care what you did to her, whatever affection or lust you have for her is a you problem. I just want this situation to be in our favour.”

The statement makes Izana scoff in dismal fashion, but he decides to ask out of curiosity regardless. “And how do you intend to turn this situation around? Cause right now she has leverage over us and any careless move can put us in a tougher spot than we can handle.”

Kisaki turns his attention fully towards Izana again, a knowing look on his face as he asks. “Is Kakucho done searching Mikey’s car?”

‘How did he know?’ Izana blinks, but then catches Hanma smirking and doesn’t bother to ask his impending questions. Kisaki always had a nasty and suspicious habit of continuously tailing him specifically, and usually it doesn’t go over Izana’s radar when it happens, apart from this instance. Which meant someone was being a rat in his group.

He’ll deal with that later.

Mikey raised a brow in confusion as well, opening his mouth to protest the invasion of his privacy when Izana’s phone suddenly rings. He picks it up, attempting to step out to answer it when Kisaki raises his hand to stop him.

“Answer it here.” Kisaki said, ignoring the way Izana looks at him like he has two heads. “and put it on speaker.”

He had no reason to comply, but he wanted to see where Kisaki was going with whatever plan he had. With a wry smile, Izana put the phone down on the table and slid the answer button, putting it on a loudspeaker.

“Did you find anything Kakucho?”

Ever loyal, Kakucho clears his throat and starts to speak, his voice sounding strained over the phone, as if he’s struggling with something. “Yes boss.” He answers, a twinge of nervousness coating his tone. “There’s a dash cam on the mirror and a spy cam underneath the compartment facing the passenger’s seat…”

Mikey grumbles under his breath something about fucking Kakucho up if anything ends up spoilt or missing in his car but Kisaki holds his hand up to his lips and shushes him. Izana continues once he’s sure his brother is done complaining. “And did you confirm the anonymous tip that we got?”

He can hear Kakucho shift uncomfortably, the silence on the other side of the phone drawn out until he finally says. “Boss, it’s too … I don’t think we should use this against her.” He tries to reason. “I think we’re going too far-”

“Perfect.” Kisaki chimes in, now looking at Izana with a satisfied smile. Kakucho is about to ask why Kisaki was there but Izana cuts him off instead. “Bring it back. I’ll explain once you come to the house.”

“Okay boss.”

The phone line dies and Kisaki, fairly confident in his plan, looks at Izana once again. “I’m sure you know where I’m going, right?”

Izana may think Kisaki is a pathetic brat who just happened to be smart, but right now, it’s like the both of them are connected and in tune with their thoughts. The tanned male stretches his lips into a smile, one full of malice and at the same time, glee, his eyes light with mirth when he realises what Kisaki was thinking.

Finally a plan he could follow along with.

“Alright, I’m all ears.”

THE walk back to your dorm was quiet.

By the time you managed to catch a bus after spending the entire day looking for a job and getting back to campus, it was already late in the night. Save for only the street lamps that were beginning to dim, everywhere else was darker than usual.

You had read that there was going to be a lunar eclipse tonight between the hours of 10pm - 00am. The time boldly written on the bus’ digital clock before you got down was 10:45pm, so you already assumed it was the cause of the unnatural darkness tonight.

A long time ago before the world weighed you down, things like this would have made you excited. You loved watching the stars when you were young, trying to check on the papers your father bought to see if there was any space news available. You remember borrowing your immediate elder brother’s binoculars as a makeshift telescope, trying to piece out the stars in the sky or see if you would catch a glimpse of the comet that was said to pass through that week.

Unfortunately, you were young and foolish. Wanting to impress your father, you told him all about your book of constellations that you drew up, detailing the first star that appeared every evening, down to your crazy childish theories about aliens and space.

“Can you show me the book?” your father asked calmly. You should have known it was dangerous for your father to be this calm, but you were too blinded by excitement to think and you gave him the book, a bright smile on your face.

Your smile fell as his large hands ripped your book into shreds, before telling you: “Women don’t dream.”

Maybe that was the day you realised the love you craved from your father will never be given to you. You were so young and impressionable, all you wanted was for him to be proud of you, like he was with his sons. Now, you can’t even look at the stars, the memory leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and you try to shake it off as you continue on the path.

You wondered what grievous sin you’ve committed to be so down on your luck like this. Today had been one disappointment to another

You passed by Emma’s dorm building, a sigh escaping your lips. She told you that Draken wanted to take her out for dinner tonight, which shocked you because friends with benefits - according to what Emma herself told you- don’t go on dates or do lovey dovey stuff with each other, to avoid complicated feelings from budding.

Then again, their relationship is based on the fact that they both have feelings for each other, but Draken was not interested in a relationship.

It was already complicated before it began but at least she's taking your advice and talking to them again.

Your eyes darted up to her window, hoping her lights were on. Whenever she was alone, Emma hated sleeping in the dark. She said it reminded her of the times her mother would lock her and Izana in a dark room whenever she brought her customers in. Anytime she was in a darkened room, she told you she could still hear the sound of her mother moaning and a man grunting. Izana would try his best to distract her, playing games or even stealing an earphone and plugging it to his own so that she would listen to music instead of what was going on.

A frown graced your lips when you saw two bodies from the curtain, one tall figure you recognize as Draken and Emma’s smaller dainty figure perched on him, kissing. You quickly averted your eyes and walked faster, ignoring the unfamiliar pang in your chest. Maybe you’re jealous because you needed your friend’s comfort right now and she wasn’t available. You felt greedy for this, after spending a week with her, you should let her be free.

‘She has her own life to live. And I have mine’ you muttered to yourself as you trudged along the path, slowly dragging your feet. ‘I have to stop being so dependent on her.’

Eventually, your thoughts drift back to your reoccurring dream. Losing your job made you realise that if you didn’t do anything about it, your tiredness would eventually catch up to you and ruin everything else you’ve worked for. With an important test scheduled for tomorrow, you knew you could not afford to take another loss this week. You had to power through your sleep tonight, even if it traumatised you.

‘Maybe I should pretend that I like it. Pretend it’s okay and enjoy it so that I won’t have to wake up.’ You shook your head, cursing as you drew closer to your own dorm building. ‘Oh God, how far I’ve fallen. Look at me trying to enjoy a disgraceful act-’

You paused in your tracks at the sound of a leaf crushing. You quickly turned around, trying to ascertain who could be lurking there behind the bushes. Your palms started sweating, your nerves firing at the thought of being watched.

Silence.

You decided to continue walking, assuming that maybe you were hearing things and there wasn’t anything at all. Nighttime always had a way of making you nervous, especially with all the horrible stories you heard about innocent women being attacked around these times. Besides, looking around for whatever may be lurking was a dumb idea.

You should just get out of here.

Eventually, you make it to your dorm house in record time, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. ‘Maybe I’m being paranoid. But at least I’m safe now.’ You think to yourself as you push the door open, closing it behind you.

Weary from the day’s stress, your body starts to give up on you but you push through, trying your best to just make it to your room. You’re sure you would just collapse on your bed the second you got there and forget about anything else.

You finally make it to your room, about to rummage your bag for the keys when you notice the door was unlocked. ‘Oh? Ami must have come back rather early, since I barely saw her until 2am?’

But as you reach for the handle, a feeling of dread washes over you, the same one you felt when you were outside. ‘I really need to let this go. There’s no harm waiting for me. It’s just my room.’ You mutter to yourself. Your overthinking has cost you a lot, from your job to your academics and right now, you really need it to stop. Pushing whatever feeling was keeping you away, you walked into the darkened room.

The first thing that greeted you was the stench of some kind of smoke -weed, the kind that Ami liked to use whenever she was in the room. You always hated the smell and you recall telling her to leave the windows open whenever she wanted to smoke. Coughing, you quickly covered your nose and mouth with one hand and reached to turn on the light with another. “Ami, how many times have I told you to open the window whenever you smoke? You know I don’t like the smell-”

Your blood turns to ice the moment light floods the room, your mouth dry as you stare at the man perched on your reading chair, a leg crossed over the other, the weed blunt hanging between his tanned hands. His lips are stretched into a sick grin, showing all his teeth, purple eyes shining with an odd mirth as he glances at you up and down.

Izana Kurokawa.

‘Run’

You don’t need to be told twice, quickly discarding your bag and running towards the direction of the door, only to hit someone hard, standing tall in your way. You look up fearfully to see mismatched eyes, a scar running down his face and flinch backwards in reflex. It’s as if he gazes at you with pity, but quickly switches to a blank stare as he stands between you and the door.

You know him from hanging around Emma a lot in the Tenjiku frat house, Kakucho. He’s always around Izana and only loyal to him for some reason that you don’t know. He doesn’t listen to anyone else, not even Mikey. You realise that he might have been the one that was following you when you were walking home.

Begging him to let you pass would be futile.

“Don’t worry, I’m just here to have a little chat with you. I’m not going to hurt you.” His tone is calm, but it doesn’t bring you any comfort. If Mikey could hurt you without any remorse, then there’s nothing stopping Izana from doing worse to you. “And as much as your backside is as interesting as your face, I prefer talking to someone who is looking at me.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.” The words fly out from your mouth before you even think of a more appropriate response but it doesn’t seem to give him any form of reaction other than a dry laugh.

“Ungrateful bitch. I could have sent my boys to do this for me instead, but I decided to talk to you.” He scoffed. “I don’t care. Turn around.”

Reluctantly you slowly turn to face him again, your body trembling as your fear filled eyes lock with his. Your heart drops to your stomach when you hear heavy footsteps walk out of the door, shutting it behind you, locks turning and trapping you with Izana.

‘Oh God oh God oh God.’

Your fear doesn’t go unnoticed by the white haired man, and he only chuckles at how stiff you were. Between the two brothers, you know Izana thrives in fear, using it to his advantage and it’s not unfounded. Notwithstanding his backing from Black dragons, Izana had taken Tenjiku from a down and out frat house, to a den of crime that holds power, trickling right into the administration of the university. Even his men know better than to ever get themselves in his bad books, because no one can ever escape him, no matter how much you try to run.

It was only a matter of time until he would make you pay for causing him problems, but you didn’t think he’d come by himself. You felt stupid for thinking he wouldn’t care about you or he’d forget how angry he was at you and leave you alone, especially with Emma still not on speaking terms with them.

He motions with his bunt for you to come closer to him and you comply, taking careful steps until you’re standing right in front of him. He eyes you again with a tepid frown. “When you meet a king, you don’t stand before him, you kneel.”

Kneel. You want to assume he’s not serious but you know better than to question him and go down on your knees, focusing your gaze firmly on your lap. It’s humiliating the way he has you at his mercy, without even moving an inch but it’s better to be compliant than to aggravate him even further by being disobedient.

You’ve learned the hard way what could happen if you resist.

From the corner of your eyes, you watch as Izana puts out his weed blunt on your reading table, before reaching behind his waistband. Your mouth grows dry the second you catch the sight of a gun, your heart pounding against your chest as he presses the barrel to your head.

‘Oh god.’ You gasp as he presses it further against your head, until you’re sure it would leave an indent. ‘He’s going to kill me. He’s going to kill me…’

“That’s odd,” He murmurs. “Usually, other people would be begging for their lives when met with a gun to their head, but you’re quiet. If not for the way your hands are trembling, I’d think you weren’t scared.”

This time, with a gun pointed at your head, you’re careful with your words. “Y-you said you won’t hurt me.” Your voice shakes with fear but you continue. You know men like Izana, he reminds you of your older brother who ruled the house outside your family with fear and control. Sometimes, when you were able to stroke his ego, he’d go easy on you. Maybe that would work on Izana too. “That you want to talk.”

“And what if I changed my mind? Pulled the trigger? That’ll make my life easier, yeah? I won’t have to fight for my sister’s love and affection with you.” 

Your breath hitches in your throat when you hear the safety go off and watch as his finger curls around the trigger. ‘Oh God, he’s going to kill me. He’ll shoot me dead.’ Tears pricking your eyes. ‘I-i have to say something- I don’t want to die-’

“I-i trust you not to do it.” You reply, your lips trembling as you struggle not to think of your head scattered into pieces on the floor if he chooses to kill you. “You’re a man of your words.”

There’s another complete silence that engulfs the entire room, until you hear a click that makes you flinch for a split second, waiting for the bullet that would end it all. Instead, it’s him putting the safety back on, and chuckling at your reaction.

“You trust me? How foolish.” He laughs, tracing the gun from your head down to underneath your chin and forcing you to look up at him. You’ve only read about people with empty eyes in stories, but seeing it in person was so terrifying. “Is that why you ended up with Mikey in his car?”

All the blood rushes from your head to the tip of your toes. “H-how do you kn-”

“I have eyes and ears in this school, (name).” You’re sure it’s the first time you’ve heard him call you by your name and despite being in a life or death situation, you couldn’t control the shiver that ran through your spine. “Not to mention, I have the video evidence of you moaning like a slut just from being fingered-”

“T-that is not what happened!” You suddenly cried out, trying to explain your own side of the story. Of all the people who know your dirty and shameful secret, Izana is the worst person, with how much he hates you. “It was a mistake! I tried to tell him I didn’t want it but I couldn’t-”

“Ah ah -” Izana cuts you off, tilting your chin higher with the gun. “Don’t lie to me. That skirt you wore was too short. You were practically sending him an invitation to fuck you.”

“No! I wasn’t trying to do anything, I just wanted to talk-”

“Really? Cause I watched the full video, you were practically pushing your thighs together, trying to get his attention-”

“No, no I- didn’t… I pushed him off the first time-”

“You were dangling your thighs like a piece of meat for him to fuck and then acted like you didn’t want it until he was knuckles deep inside you. The way you were moaning didn’t sound like a girl being assaulted. You sounded like you wanted it.”

“That’s not true-” your lips start to tremble at his words, tears forming at the corner of your eyes. You didn’t want to be assaulted, you just wanted to talk to him about the Emma issue and you wanted to apologise. “That’s not true-”

“Oh but it is.” He said firmly, now leaning in closer to your face until there’s barely any inches between the two of you. “If you truly wanted to talk you would have been more modest. We warned you that outfits like those are an invitation, but you decided we insulted you and turned our sister against us.”

“No-” your voice is small, trying to defend yourself but even you are beginning to doubt your own credibility with how he keeps twisting the narrative around until you begin to actually believe him.

‘No! Don’t let him make you think you’re in the wrong! You know what happened!’

“He even told you to leave but you refused to. Like you were baiting him to just do something bad to you so that you can tell everyone how bad Mikey is and make yourself get more sympathy points. 'Oh look, the Sano brothers struck again!' That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“That’s not true! I would never do that to Mikey!” You don’t realise your tempo had suddenly gotten high or that tears had started to drip down your face, but Izana did. He doesn’t point it out, staying quiet as you start to shout at him. “I didn’t tell anyone because it would cause problems and I would never bait him into hurting me. I just wanted to make up with him because I felt that I overreacted at the party I swear! And then he assaulted me in the car -”

“But if he “assaulted” you, why didn’t you tell anyone? If that’s what truly-”

“Because I love him!”

Oh no. The words flew out of your mouth before you could even stop yourself from saying them. But before you could correct yourself, Izana hammers another nail into the coffin with his next words.

“The same way your big brother loved you, right?”

You feel weak. You’ve never told anyone that before, not even Emma. It’s a part of you that you chose to keep buried at the bottom of your heart, pretending it never existed.

“Please, Izana, pleas-”

“Did I ever tell you that I know you?” He suddenly snapped, his voice menacing. “I’ve known you from the second you stepped foot in this school. I know your sob story -the one you tell everyone, how your parents’ kicked you out for not marrying an older man. How you were homeless, living in shelters as you worked up money to go to college until you made something for yourself-”

He paused, now leaning further into your face until you smell the marijuana on his breath, his dark eyes peering at you. “But no one knows the true story. That your parents didn’t kick you out, you left.” You start to shake as he tells you the story of how your semi-peaceful life went downhill.

“Izana please stop-”

“It was your eighteenth birthday and you never quite got along with your brothers, especially the oldest one, Michael was it? Seems like you have a thing for Michael’s or rather the other way around.”

“Stop it, please-”

“So Michael and your other brothers told you that if you wanted them to like you that you’d let their college friends talk to you. You went along with it, hung around your brothers and their friends and everything was fine, until you felt tired after drinking some juice that Michael gave you-”

You hate this. You don’t even know how he found out about this part of your life, or how long he’s been holding it until he could use it but you need the story to end now, you don’t want to relieve your trauma. “You’ve made your point. I lied about running away because I was scared. Please, please-”

“Shhh,” He pushes the gun to your lips until your pleas are muffled noises. “don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt someone while they’re telling a story? As I was saying, Michael offered to carry you to your room, because you felt so tired, you couldn’t move. And oh, you poor, dumb fool. You had no idea what was going to happen that night to you as your big bro took you to his room-”

You suddenly burst into tears and without thinking, shoved the gun out from your mouth to beg him. “Stop it! Stop! I get it! I won’t tell anyone what happened between me and Mikey. Please don’t finish that story!”

Izana stops and you sigh, still not out of the woods yet, but at least you’re sure he won’t say anything else-

A scream rips from your throat as you feel his veiny palms drag you by your hair violently, to the bed. You feel like a ragdoll as he throws you onto the bee, before climbing on top of you right after. “Izana stop! STOP I-”

Your voice catches in your throat the second he switches off the safety of the gun and points it towards your window, pressing the trigger twice. You scream as the bullets pierce through the window, shattering the glass completely, and clamp a hand over your mouth when he points the gun back at you, his eyes narrowed in anger.

“Please, please, please-”

“You don’t want to hear the truth, fine. I’ll show you what your brother did to you instead, but if you as much as piss me off one more fucking time, I’ll shoot you.”

You freeze in place as he starts to lift up your long skirt with one hand until he exposes your panties. You hear him fumble with his belt buckle, having kept the gun out of your reach behind him and he pulls his black jeans enough to only expose his half-mast clothed dick.

He was getting off on imagining you being assaulted. You feel sick.

You blank out as your legs are spread apart, by his two hands, and he pushes his entire weight on you, until his crotch is pressed into yours. Shame fills you as he starts to grind against your clothed pussy, the stimulation having an undesired effect on your clit and you turn your head just not to look at him.

With each roll of his hips, you feel his thick length rub against your poor nub, wetness leaking through your panties and staining his boxers. Izana smirks at your distress, growing fully hard at how wet you’ve become from just him humping you. He leans down to your ear, hot breath hitting your neck and starts to taunt you “It’s a shame your father caught him before he could continue. He could have seen how slutty his sister was.”

You try to keep your mouth shut, tears rolling down your cheeks as he gets himself off but he wants to hear you and raises your hips higher until you're flush against his aching cock. He bucks his hips into yours at a faster pace now, targeting your clit with each thrust, coupled with his warm breath ticking your skin. The wetness has made the cotton of your panties thin, making you feel his movements until you can't stop your moans mixed with tears from spilling out of your lips.

“Iza-na please s-stop-”

He only chuckles in response to your misery. There’s just something so satisfying to him about seeing you, the girl who made Emma call him a fucking bastard beg him for mercy. Unfortunately for you, it isn’t enough for him to make you relive your trauma, no, he wants to make you really, really hurt.

“You wouldn’t have been begging me to stop if you had just let me finish my story.” He whispers against your skin, rocking his hips slower now, in circular motions. “Or maybe you hate hearing the truth about being the problem. You should have been less prettier, less provocative-”

Your skin crawls at his words and you want to protest but you lack the ability to keep yourself and your thoughts composed as he is doing right now. “It’s your fault this kind of thing keeps happening to you. You keep making men the worst versions of themselves. Your brother, for example, was a good Christian boy until you hit puberty and all of a sudden, he couldn’t keep his hands off his dick when you’re around. Mikey had never, ever forced a girl to do something with him, he didn’t need to.”

You feel ill. You didn’t mean for the incident with your brother to happen, you had no idea he felt that way, with how he violently beat you whenever you did something wrong. You didn’t know Mikey looked at you that way either, you thought he hated you. How were you meant to know anything?

Yet, it’s still your fault. Just you, only you.

“You’re not protesting it.” He articulates with timed thrusts. Your thighs are trembling underneath his grip, meaning you’re close, but your mind is not here, it's soaking up, his every confession of how he feels. “So you know what you do to everyone. Even your father, who was a good man, always got angry with you. But despite your faults, and despite what you did to your brother he wanted to keep you and offered for you to help your brother by marrying that old man and you know what you did? You ran.”

‘I ran. I ran away like a coward.’

Your mind is numb, your body feels overwhelmed, electricity running up your body as Izana guides your hips up and down his clothed shaft, tethering you to the edge, relishing every last whimper and moan you let out. “You ran away from a family that you were given for free, I would kill to have lived with my family, no matter how shit they were. Last I heard, your brother brings girls that look like you home. Because you didn’t stay in your lane to fix your family. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“So-rry.” It comes out of your mouth before you realise it. Maybe you should be sorry for the things you have done. For making them do all those horrific things to you. “I’m sorry” you sob, choking on your words as you repeat it over and over again. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry-”

You’re still babbling when you finally twitch in his hands, cumming all over his boxers with a quiet yelp until you can’t anymore. You’re still out of it when he pulls out his dick from his confines briefly, jerking it off and to cum all over your panties and thighs not too long after.

When you come to it eventually, he dresses properly and leaves you with his twisted handiwork. The feeling of humiliation and dirtiness hangs over your head. You feel so much shame and humiliation, like there’s dirt underneath your skin that no amount of washing would make you clean. All those things Izana said to you, the memory of your own brother assaulting you and having to relive it again feels too heavy to bear, to live with.

You’re not sure you want to live in a world where Izana has all this information about you.

Something drops on your lap and you see it’s the gun that he had threatened you with earlier. “A quick bullet to the head can do the trick. You’re guaranteed to die. If you’re dead, no one will ever know what we discussed here.” He says nonchalantly, walking past you and knocks thrice on the door before turning around to face you again. “Or if you hate me so much now, you can shoot me right here” he points at the heart. “And your secrets die with me. Not even your precious Mikey knows this.”

You realise it’s one of his sick mind games, the kind an unfair god plays for his own amusement, but at this point, you don’t care. You just want an out of this world, of being blamed for things you can’t control. Everything is your fault and if you die, maybe things will go back to normal.

And you’ll never have to face Izana again.

The door opens as you begin to pick up the gun, and Kakucho attempts to run towards you, possibly to protect Izana, only for the white haired man to shove him backwards. The two men watch, one with pure horror and one with pure amusement as you slowly press the barrel of the gun to your temple, tears rolling down your eyes.

“WAIT DON’T-”

You press the trigger before he could finish his sentence.

Bonus:

“You should have seen her face when she realised there was no bullet in the gun. Kept begging me to give her one so that she could die.”

The laughter between Izana and the rest of Tenjiku sounded like roaring in Kakucho’s ears. He and Mochizuki were the only ones who didn’t find what Izana did to you funny. He hated when Izana did things like this to innocent people like you. It was agonising to hear you cry and beg him every step of the way, even to the point of apologising for things that aren’t even your fault.

Kakucho had raised some concerns about leaving you alone in the room, as you could hurt yourself, which would be detrimental to them as they still need you alive to further manipulate things to their favour. Eventually, they decided to take you back to Tenjiku’s house and lock you in Izana’s bedroom.

Still not ideal, but it’s protected.

“Bet she cries pretty, yeah?” Ran asks, after the laughter died down. “She looks like someone who cries a lot, boss.”

“Her crying face is the prettiest I’ve ever seen, but her cumming face is better. I’ve got pictures to prove it-”

“I can’t deal with this shit anymore. I’m off to bed” Mochizuki groans, pushing himself up to leave. Kakucho couldn’t blame him, the atmosphere was toxic, laughing at your suffering for no reason. The last time he left you, you were hugging your knees to your chest, crying. He feels like a piece of shit for stalking you and then trapping you in the room with Izana of all people.

But he did it anyway, so he can’t act like he’s a saint.  He was an accomplice.

“Can you check on (name) before you go to your room?” Kakucho all but pleads. He isn’t sure he could face you after what he did to you. Mochi nods and walks away.

He thinks about the first time he met you. He could only watch from afar, admiring the way you smiled, how quiet you were compared to everyone else. You were in your own world. Izana never liked you, all Kakucho knows is that Izana hates you for throwing away the thing he valued the most, your family. But you never knew that and it hurt him to see you be punished for a crime you do not know of.

It didn’t help that you were pretty, so while you were Izana’s “type” quiet, obedient, something he could break, Izana also struggled with his hatred for you. Perhaps if you were never friend’s with Emma, he would have avoided you -

“FUCK, STOP, DON’T JUMP!”

Mochizuki’s scream cut through the entire house, interrupting the discussion. The executives instantly stood up and ran in the direction of Izana’s room, where the noise came from only to be greeted by a rather gruesome sight.

You used Izana’s Egyptian silk bed sheets to hang yourself.

Mochizuki had already rushed to your unconscious body, holding you up so that you don’t cut off your air flow and Kakucho found himself untying it from the ceiling fan as quickly as possible and the makeshift noose from your neck too.

Everything felt like a fever dream, a bad one he couldn’t wake up from as Rindou started CPR on you, with Kisaki on the phone, yelling for an ambulance while Izana counted for Rindou.

“She’s breathing again, it wasn’t too long she was suspended. She’ll live... right?”

A terrible nightmare.

special thanks to: (please turn on your mentions in 'settings' before filling the form.): @officiallyjaehyuns @haikyuusboringassmanager @ilybbg @merrymerrykiss @cockonoi @Rindou24689 @short-cxke @kokoch4n3l @GenAwi @ryuguji-sana @nuyoo @reiners-milkbiddies @kiwixpi @gh0stgirl333 @brisssaaa009 @fushiqruo @kawaiikoalagarden @damidamimongalam @raven-nevra @ilovetwodmen @kodzubaby @straightfromheaven @manchie55 @pikibee @tomeyano @matchamilktea-05 @tenjikusstuff4 @m0onz1 @hapikiou @rainnyzz @Lovelyartistz @lik0 @maraya-007 @thisismarisaaa @reeyy0-2 @littlemisspropaganda @cherie026

[i-promise-i-am-not-on-drugs]

Alright, I'm rewatching st 04×02 and I'm going to write stuff while it happens so I don't forget anything.

I'm going to dissect the episode by scenes, so it's going to be pretty long, but whatever.

1) Max and the boys

Nothing much to say here, but I like that it's pretty clear who Lucas and Dustin listen to the most in the serious kinds of situations. (Lucas looking at Mike after Max asked him what they were talking about, Mike shaking his head and Lucas not even hesitating to turn Max off.)

(Also, Mike being the one to stay with Will, and he probably asked Lucas to bring the others outside)

2) Joyce and Will(+ the MF)

There's so much r@pe analogy in there I don't even know where to start, and I don't think I'm going to go too far on this subject anyway because oh boy, does that make me uncomfortable.

I know people who have been r@ped before, and the way Will talks about what he feels during his episodes are so similar to how they talk about their assault. Also, the flashbacks are cristal clear about these implications. Moreover, Will feels guilty of letting the MF get to him.

(here's a direct copy-paste of the subtitles)

Will: And I tried.

I tried to make it go away.

But it got me, Mom.

Joyce: But what does that mean?

Will: [crying] I felt it... everywhere.

Everywhere.

I-- I still feel it.

[sobbing] I just want this to be over.

Joyce: It's okay. It's okay. Hey.

Listen. Look, look at me.

Will: [sniffles]

Joyce: I will never, ever let anything bad happen to you ever again.

Whatever's going on in you, we're gonna fix it. I will fix it.

I promise. I'm here.

Alright. Now let's get out of the MF/possession situation, and just read this.

To anyone who's seen/read anything that relates to r@pe victims guilt, does that seems familiar? It does, right?

Yeah.

I won't go further about this for now, but think about it.

I like that Joyce is trying her best to be supportive of Will without making him feel ignored or like he's overeating. It's nice to see. :)

3) Eleven and Hopper

Alright, that scene was a perfect example and definition "what to not do when my kid put themselves in danger by not following the rules I gave them to protect them because I let them place expectations in me that I knew I wouldn't be able to reach before they loose their mind."

Because, seriously Hopper? You really expected that kid to not go out after almost a year without seeing anyone but a grumpy old man? Wow, really smart of you.

I'll be honest here: I don't like Hopper, and the only thing that makes me not hate him is his relationship with El. Most of the time. Not this one.

Eleven was in the wrong here, she put herself in danger by breaking the rules. Alright. But you know who was the wrong by even putting these rules in the first place? Hopper. Now, I know this was for her safety, but I'm sure they could've find something much more efficient than completely isolate her from anyone, and with only company a fucking TV.

Anyway.

In my opinion, the worst thing about this argument is Hopper insinuating that he was going to send Eleven back to the lab. I'm really fucking mad at him for that. Because of course, the logical thing to do when a traumatized teenager does something wrong for the first time in more than 300 days is to menace her to send her back the incredibly abusive hellish place she's been living in her whole childhood! Of course, what a wonderful reaction!

And about the TV thing, of course you should cut the rebellious teenager of their only distraction from the fact that they're literally forbidden from having any fucking life! That was such an amazing thing to do! Good job Jim, how smart and logical of you!!

I can't believe this man is an adult. Urgh.

My poor girl El was probably send straight back into a flashback too.

Alright I'll stop taking about this now, next scene.

4) Jonathan (+ Will being fucking possessed HELP--)

Jonathan my boy I love you <33

WILL FUCKING HELL YOU SCARED ME

5) The Wheelers

Love Mike and Nancy asking Holly things <33

6) Nancy and Jonathan

Nancy: You don't have to do this, you know.

Jonathan: Stop saying that.

[both nods]

I love them :3

7) Joyce and Will

Joyce calling the police and never getting Hopper to aweser is getting kinda old tbh--

Anyway, this isn't about them

My son Will is getting possessed and I'm excited sad about it.

8) Dustin (+Dart)

Nothing much to say here, but aww. Dustin's taking care of his murderous little friend. :)

9) The boys and Max

Okay, first of all, ew.

Now, second of all, your crush is showing so bad Dustin it's crazy lol--

And then, last but not least, I like how the boys just assumed that Mike know if/when Will is coming. It makes me happy. :3

10) Will (+Mr.Cleark's speech about fear) and Joyce

Holy shit, I forgot how fast the possession went.

11) Hopper (+ Eleven)

Ok, fuck you Hopper, this is not how you deal with teenagers. Learn to be the biggest person and apologize you dumbass adult.

Also, "for my sake, please, deal with her! (Florence to Jim about Joyce)" lmao--

12) Steve (+Billy and Tommy)

Well damn, more reason to hate those two assholes that I forgot about.

13) Jonathan and Nancy

Love how creepy that whole scene is. :)

14) Will, Joyce, Hopper

Holy cow. My poor boy's going though it.

Also, this is the part were I realized why this episode is called "Will the Wise": While Will was explaining how he felt about the "now-memories" of the vines, Joyce looked at a drawing of Will the Wise looking at a Cristal Ball, impling that he's seeing something supernatural that most people don't know about.

15) The party (+Max)

Rip Max, I promise they have nothing against you my girl!

Still love how it's clear that they trust Mike's judgement almost without hesitation. They really act as a team, and they all have their own roles. They trust and listen to each other, and I think that's beautiful. :)

16) Eleven

I like that even if she's frustrated (and has every right to be!!), she's not putting herself in danger and is actually listening to Hopper.

Also, she found the document!!

17) Nancy and Jonathan at the Lab

"you guys 'been together for long?" Lmao--

Anyway.

Still can't believe that the Russians were brought up already! These guys are everywhere!

18) Will's drawings

Hopper: Vines. He's drawing vines.

Wow, good job Hopper. First actually smart thing you've said today.

Sorry sorry, let's be serious for a bit.

These drawings are actually really cool. And also pretty disturbing, but that was a given.

I'm really impressed at how fast Will draws too, tbh--

19) Max and Lucas

Now that's kinda sad.

They signed NDAs Max, they can't tell you wear, sorry 😔

20) Max and Billy (+Lucas)

Urgh, here comes the racism.

My girl Max deserves a hug, and Billy should shut his crap and die already.

21) Hopper

I forgot what he's gonna do with those pumpkins ._.

22) Eleven

Noooooo, El my baby :(

23) Mike and Joyce

Joyce at this point you should know that you son tell Mike everything. Including the shadow monster shit. Stop trying to deny him.

24) Nancy and Jonathan

I love how Nancy's being a total badass, and Jonathan's like "yep, okay, that's hot-"

25) Dustin (+Dart)

NOOOOOOO, NOT THE CAAAAAAAATTTT D:

I trusted you Dart :((

Anyway, on a more serious note, how the fuck did Dustin hide those big-ass blood stains from his mom??

26) Hopper

Holy shit, that hole's big as fuck. Every kid's dream beach hole. (Sorry, sorry)

Alright, he's underground, Jesus fucking Christ, I forgot about that.

— End note

Can we talk about how amazing Noah and Millie's acting skills are?? I got chills from Will's overfocused looks and really bad for him while he was crying. Millie made me feel so bad fol El istg I wanna hug her. :(

Obviously the same goes with everyone else, but these two are the ones who made me feel the most things during this episode!

Alright, I'm done with this episode! I might start with the next one soon. :)

[spidermilkshake]

The Origins of my Needle-Phobia are Nested in Complexities

I am extremely terrified of needles. This much anyone who knows me, knows.

This isn’t random. While I am in a good place mentally, I have understood where it probably comes from finally. This idea was brushed on during therapy but I was not 100% ready to admit it fully to myself. I’m ready now, and I think it’s valuable for other people to read and know, and perhaps apply for themselves, if needed. I want be overall positive and to help close or at least recognize scars for other people in writing this. I must disclose I will likely be intoxicated via alcohol when posting this--I have drafted this exploration prior to such a state and alcohol is a substance which assists in suppressing societal bullshit. The fear of judgment is more common I think, and the suppression of second-guessing helps surpass this.

I was never afraid of sewing needles. Those are only tools--they have the potential to harm, of course, as much as someone messing around in woodshop can utterly fuck their thumb into purple shades by not being sure and careful. But the sewing needle is only what it is--it rarely represents something more.

The injection needle. That’s different. I have, since about 12 years of age, been fearful of injection needles for no rational reason. ME, who has a nurse for a mother, who has always wanted to donate blood, has been decidedly unsqueamish at the sight of blood--having had very Goth friends, who have shared bloody but beautiful media, and inspired a love of poetic forms of horror, for a higher purpose, since High School Days before I was fully on the path as a Storyteller. It should be alarming, to say the least, when the queer, Goth-aligned, Drama-club-aligned weirdo suddenly develops an irrational and uncontrollable frantic response when the injection needle--a powerful symbol for Adding What Is Good and Protective to the body--suddenly appears. Unannounced. It puts something in. It ALTERS.

It is a physical embodiment for the most extreme example this former child had of abuse.

My parents no doubt have hurt me. In subtle ways--without even their knowledge. The bookshelves upstairs are lined with beautiful treatises on the proper care and communication with Your Very Loved New Person alongside nursing texts, homesteading advice, fantastical fiction and Sheakespearian classics. Even those parents were not immune. As good as you can hope in the mid to late 90s--still some hurt. I mean, they likely did not expect TWO ace-spectrum kids, never mind the trans one (me) in rural southwest Virginia. But variety doesn’t care. The subtle, society-based harm that seeped through the parents doesn’t compare to him. The more obvious, Pointed Symbol.

It puts something in. It alters.

No, Based on what my mother has reported, I actually no longer fear I was the victim of r*pe. Once, I interpreted something I found in my discarded offal-material, as being embryonic in nature. I was afraid. I was already... Altered.

It stems from control. Abuse. Once, there was a man named Jack Weddon. You can look up his details, his background in criminality, and understand my horror and disjointed memories when I was 12-14. I do not think he assaulted me in that way. But his impact was far from lesser. The injection needle--which was a symbol of putting the good in, for protecting--became replaced with a phallic fear. An unknowing of what took place and a Criminal Doctor Style level of control.

I got injected long before, but then I became aware of how much. So obsessive of binary male power. I could very well have been the needle--but the prior hate wouldn’t allow me to conceptualize in that way. Only the malicious, abusive man, who you feared had the chance to commit the Murder That Doesn’t Kill upon you until you learned you were guarded all night, was allowed to take that place. You were damaged even before then. And you were good all through it.

I became terrified of injection needles only after that point, which has vexed me a long time. Only now do I come to terms with my history of abuse, and fear of the most horrible of abuses to commit against a child, being directly connected with the origins of my needle phobia. It’s a metaphor my mind made without my input. How hideous is it that someone hurt me in such a way that a nearly-idolized symbol of Health and Responsibility became warped into a symbol of the ever-present threat he presented. Mashed-up with societal tropes. Uncreative. Terrible without purpose (aside from the harm of the vulnerable). My brain could not fathom it--without displacing it with the next most powerful Thing.

I will take the injection needle back. I deserve having the Good Added To Me. I was Already Good. I will be Protected, and Protective. I will become a dispensary for this idea--the idea of spreading the good for those who need to be reminded they are already so. That they deserve to be protected. I am not the most broken person by far. It sounds paltry to some, and extreme to others, but you are all in my camp. You all deserve this protection.

You are all good. You can become the Good. It may not be the injection needle for you. It may be something else. You can have the power it had before the harm happened. It was always yours.

[velthequeen]

You’re Not Allowed To Leave Me (Hank Voight Imagine)

-this is a hank voight imagine obviously that’s my husband

-this is going to be with khadasiah “sia” blaisie, portrayed by the beautiful tina kunakey

-imagine sia getting hurt on the job and hank going ballistic about it because they have a fling and he doesn’t want her to get hurt

**trigger warning: sexual assault, mention of r*pe, racial slurs**

***SMUT WARNING***

———————————————————————

It was a rough day in the Intelligence Unit. Hell, it was a rough day for Chicago P.D. in general. There have been a line of killings in the ghettos of Chicago, causing an uproar in the Latino/Hispanic and Black communities. They were protesting the police stations, harassing patrol officers, and retaliating in a hostile manner. but no one would give them information. The killings had been racially motivated. There were four bodies already, two latino and two black. One of the black men was shot execution style in the head. He was dead before he hit the ground, but that didn’t stop his killer from shooting his body 26 times afterwards. The other black man was lynched. The latino man was killed by a brutal beating, and baby powder all around his body to symbolize cocaine. The other was stabbed to death, and the killer wrote “Not so tough now, pendejo” in his blood. All of Chicago was on edge, especially Hank Voight. He was pushing his unit (plus Kevin Atwater and Kim Burgess), the Intelligence Unit, to find out who this guy or group of guys were. He was very angry and stressed today, but what’s new?

“Rough case.” Antonio said out loud. Hank was on the phone in his office, and everyone was at their respective desks, trying to put pieces together for this crime. Intelligence didn’t know if it was one person or multiple, but they knew that they were radical, racist, and had to be put in prison. Murder with a hate crime enhancement would give them 20 to life. Sia was still shaken up over the last victim. She had taken pride in her black heritage, so when she saw that he was lynched she got sick to her stomach.

The weather was changing in Chicago during this time of year. It was unpredictable. Sia had pulled her hair into a puff-like ponytail, her curls flowing from their place high on her hair. Curls were falling from either side of her face, and a bunch of people, including Sergeant Platt, had complimented her on it. She wore loose jeans that were cuffed at the bottom and hard black boots. Her white tank top was tucked into her jeans, a light blue button down shirt unbuttoned covering her arms. It was a casual day for her. She didn’t put on any makeup, but yet again she never usually did. Khadasiah was twirling one of her loose curls on her finger before hearing Hank come out of his office.

“They’re taking this from the history books. The man was lynched.” Sia said out loud.

“One of the last lynching in the US was in the 80s.” Antonio reminded her. He knew she knew, but he had to announce it. Alvin looked at Sia with a sympathetic gaze.

“Not good enough.” Sia mumbled angrily under her breath before getting up from her seat and storming into the break room. Khadasiah needed something to take her mind off of the case, so she decided to pour herself a cup of coffee. When she got to the pot, she realized she didn’t grab a cup, and turned around only to see Hank holding one out for her. She took it, withought giving him a smile. She wasn’t in the mood.

“You okay?” He asked her. Hank had placed his large hand on the small of her back, causing her to feel comforted. They had a thing going on. No one else in Intelligence knew about it. Hank had a stict ‘no in-house dating’ set in place, but broke his golden rule by having a fling with Khadasiah Blaisie. Sometimes it was sexual, sometimes it wasn’t, sometimes Sia wanted to pursue a relationship. But she knew Hank would dismiss her feelings on the matter. She was young, fiery, and compassionate. But she didn’t know if Hank would like to pursue a relationship with her.

“I don’t know.” She said as she took another deep breath. Hank turned her body to look at him. When she was trying to look away, he grabbed her chin and made her eyes meet his. “We’re gonna get this sick son of a bitch.” He assured her. Khadasiah nodded before pouring cream and sugar into her coffee. Hank watched her intently, and took the mug from her before she could take her first sip. He took a gulp of her coffee, licking his lips smugly before handing the cup back.

“You’re mean to me.” She mumbled childishly as she took a sip. “Oh yeah?” He asked with a laugh. “Mhm.” She said while drinking her coffee. He made sure no one was looking before pulling her head to his lips and giving her a sweet kiss to her hairline. She set down her cup and shivered when his lips got to her ear. “You look nice today.” He whispered in her ear. She smiled, the first smile she had in three hours since she got to work. Sia turned around, and Hank’s arms trapped her. His hands were on either side of the counter, and he was smirking at her.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Voight.” She said to him with a sneaky grin on her face. She wanted to kiss him but she knew someone could walk in at any minute. He smiled st her words before letting her go, resisting the urge to smack her ass as she walked away. What they didn’t know is that Al had heard the conversation. After Hank was back in his office, Alvin knocked on the door and was gestured inside. Olinsky closed the door and shoved his hands in hi pocket after fixing his hat.

“We may have a lead. Some convenience store’s security camera caught footage of two white males going in, buying snacks, and going out. Store owner called 911 after they left. Says they came in with blood on ‘em and he saw a gun on one of them. It was a block away from where the second murder happened. The shooting.” He told Hank. The man nodded.

“Take Ruzek with you to talk to the store owner. Tell Jin to clean up the footage to see if we have any faces.” Hank said, to him. Alvin nodded but didn’t leave the room. Hank eyed him inquisitively before the man spoke again.

“Something going on with you and Sia that you wanna tell me?” He asked his longtime friend. Hank shrugged as he looked at him.

“Ask her.” He said. Olinsky raised an eyebrow but didn’t press further. He turned around to walk out, telling Adam to come with him. He eyed Sia at her desk. She was writing something down. Al walked up to her desk and tapped on her. “We gotta talk later.” He told her, alerting the others in the room. Jay snickered at her.

“Is the princess in trouble?” He asked her, causing her to roll his eyes. “Hey, uh, what’s Hank’s nickname for you this week, Sia?” Antonio said, poking fun at her. She huffed and turned to Erin with pleading eyes for support, but all the brunette could do was raise her hands defensively and giggle.

“Dollface.”

Upon hearing their unit chief’s voice, all of the Intelligence members remaining in the room looked up to see Hank standing at the doorway. After he said her nickname, Khadasiah blinked at him. He sent a serious glare her way. Oh, this was going to be a long day.

———————

When Intelligence found a lead from the store footage, they found two men named Ryan Glassley and Ethan Crenshaw. He was a frequent customer at a strip club, so Erin, Kim and Sia would have to go undercover has strippers to get to to them. None of the guys liked the idea, since anything could happen. Hank especially didn’t like it. Kim was so naïve, someone might hurt her. Erin was his foster daughter. And Sia...she was his girl. If anyone even looked at her funny, he would be in the cage.

The girls got ready at the club. Adam would pose as a bartender, Hank and Alvin would pose as customers and Jay and Antonio would be bouncers. Kim was posing as a waitress, Erin was a bartender, and of course Sia was a stripper. Her top was flummery and made of diamonds, a sparkly and loose bralette. The job she hated was that it had no support for her breasts. It wasn’t wired or fitted, it just hung loose. She wore brown underwear, ones that blended with her smooth chocolate skin. Hanging from her hip line was a diamond thigh high waist chain. It was cold against her skin, causing a shiver to go up her spine. No one in her unit had seen her yet, the dancers weren’t supposed to go out. She would be going in with no weapons so she had to be careful.

The music changed to some song, and the dancers single file came out. Khadasiah was that Hank was sitting right next to one of their targets, and Alvin was on the other side of the runway sitting next to the other one. Sia felt many eyes in her as she danced on the metal pole. “Damn, Sia.” She heard Erin’s voice in her ear. She smirked to herself as she swayed her hips. The poles rotated within the wiring inside so it would be easier to spin on. Sia looked like a natural dancing like this. She’s had to learn in more than one occasion how to pole dance, and actually thought of it as a good workout. The submissive suspect, Ethan Crenshaw, was staring right at her. She winked at him and continued dancing, and he threw some money on the stage. Sia crouched down to meet Ethan’s eyes.

“I do private dances, you know.” She told with a smile. He grinned at her, but Ryan, the dominant suspect in the relationship, flared at him. He looked purely disgusted. Ethan’s eyes darted from her body to Ryan, and then met her eyes again.

“Maybe later, sweetheart.” He told her. Sia poured a him. The diamonds of her top were shining in the lights. “C’mon, baby. I’ll take care of you.” She said seductively. Ethan looked at Ryan again, as if to get permission. When Ryan waved his fingers to the younger male, he smirked at her. “Lead the way.” He told her. Khadasiah hopped off the stage and took his hand, leading him behind her. Hank watched them with pure anger. He knew he couldn’t act on it. When they saw Ryan get up and follow them, Hank and Alvin met up at the bar where Erin was.

“Ryan followed Sia and Ethan. Don’t think she’ll let them pay two for one.” Al said to Erin. Kim came back over and put a drinks tray on the counter. “If they touch her, they’re getting their asses beat.” Hank said, his voice rough. Erin eyes him as Kim spoke. “I’ll keep an ear out. I have a bad feeling.” Kim said as she began to walk back. Hank was visibly uneasy. Al put a hand on his back.

“She’ll be okay. She’s tough.”

Khadasiah knew that her team was able to hear her, and the guys in the van could see her as well as hear her. Ethan was kissing her, and it was fine until he shoved her into one of the back rooms. “A little aggressive tonight, huh?” She panted. He gave her a devious smirk before they both heard the door open. Sia saw the main suspect, Ryan, come in menace in his expression. Sia looked from Ethan to Ryan. “Ry, what are you doing in here?” Ethan asked him. He smirked at his accomplice before getting in Sia’s face.

“You like white guys, bitch?” He spat at her. He might have been the shooter, but one thing was for certain: he was racist. Khadasiah raised an eyebrow. “I don’t do freebies. Pay to play. I’m outta here.” She said. Sia was trying to walk out, but Ryan grabbed her and shoved her against the wall. His eyes were full of hatred.

“You go when I tell you to go, cocoa puff.” He said as he pushed her on her knees. “Hold her down. It’s time for my 21 gun salute.” Ryan remarked. When Ethan gulped, his superior pulled out a gun. “Now.” He retorted bitterly. Sia looked up at him, obvious fear in her eyes. He laughed at her before putting the gun in her mouth. She stared it down before looking back up at him. “Scream and I’ll blast your ass.” He hoarsely whispered. Tears pricked her eyes. It reminded her of three years ago. That was a topic she never wanted to go back to. The suspect pulled her up and held her against the wall, rubbing his hand and his crotch against her ass. Sia sniffled and tried to fight it, but he put the gun at her temple.

“Ry, I think we should go.” Ethan said with clear fear in his voice. All Ryan could do was chuckle before doing her around and pinning her to the wall. Tears and mascara streaked down her cheeks, which Ryan laughed at again. His hands were groping her all over, and it hurt. He was rocky with his movements and handled her like a rag doll. This was more than playing rough. No, Hank played rough sometimes, but this was completely different. He was trying to hurt her. One of Ryan’s hands was grabbing her ass and attempting to pull down her underwear, while his other hand was pulling—no, yanking her hair to the side so he could leave bite marks on her neck. Sia’s lip was quivering as she struggled. Ethan was shocked and trying to figure out what to do.

“I bet you like this, huh cotton ball? I’m your master for tonight. And you’ll behave, or else I’ll do you like the last one.” He said as he tackled her to the ground. He hit her head with the barrel of the gun to keep her on the floor. “You stay down, milk dud. You hear me? I will blow your brains on the wall.” He threatened. Sia’s eyes welled up again. She punched him in the face and knees him in the stomach, but he grabbed her hair and banged her head against the wall. His gun was back in her mouth. When the team in the van saw that Ryan was unzipping his pants, they told her team to move. The door bust open, and Ethan and Ryan ran. Erin and Hank stayed to get Sia. Her hands were shaking, makeup running down her face.

“Go!” He screamed at Erin. She held her gun out and pursued the two suspects. Sia had been in the corner. She slid down the wall, her hands on her arms. Hank crouched down to touch her, but she flinched and shifted her body away from him. “You know I’m not gonna hurt you, Dollface.” He whispered in his gravelly voice. Sia gulped and got up from the corner. “I’m fine.” She said to him. Hank took off his black bomber jacket and wrapped it around her arms. Khadasiah kept looking at his shoes as Hank pulled her into his side and walked her out. Throwing these pricks in the cage would be the highlight of his night.

———————

Hank and Alvin were in the interrogation room with Ryan, while Ethan was in the other interrogation room with Jay and Erin. Antonio, Adam, Kim, and Kevin watched either interrogation with Sia. They all kept glancing at Sia. She was still in Hank’s jacket, her studded heels in her hands. She saw Hank roughing Ryan up, slamming his face against the boarded up window. Hank put his gun to the base of Ryan’s neck. The name only chuckled. The unit chief told Alvin to put their “new friend” in the cage. Hank’s came storming out, followed by Erin, Sia, Kim, Adam, and Kevin. “Blaisie. My office, now.” Hank said, alerting his other detectives to get back to work. She closed the door behind her. While Sia was excepting Hank to comfort her, he did the complete opposite.

“What were you thinking?! You could’ve gotten yourself killed!” He said angrily. Khadasiah flinched at his tone. When she didn’t respond, he continued. “You’re so high on your pedestal that you didn’t cover yourself. How could you be so careless?” He shouted. Her eye twitched and she tilted her head.

“You’re reprimanding me for almost getting raped?” She asked him as she stalked closer. Hank was silent, but his eyes were filled with something she couldn’t read. “I was forced to my knees, assaulted, and insulted, and this is my fault? Are you crazy?” She screamed at him. Hank’s nostrils flared.

“You were being careless!” He remarked in fury.

“I was undercover!” She exclaimed.

“You could’ve been shot in the head!” Hank was getting angrier by the second.

“I am more than willing to die.” She said the words before she could stop herself, but so did he.

“You’re not allowed to leave me!” He raged at her. Sia’s eyes got wide. What did he mean by that? His chest was heaving, and Khadasiah’s eyebrows furrowed. She walked up to him, putting her hand on his cheek. Hank looked down. Her hair was down now, flowing in curls down her back.

“Why would I ever leave?” She questioned him. Hank looked up to meet her eyes, and saw the gloss covering them. Hank couldn’t say anything, so Sia took her hand off his cheek and walked out of the office.

———————

“Aunt Jemima! So nice of you show up.” Ryan said as Khadasiah walked down to the cage. Hank was already down there, waiting for her. She got changed into some clothes she kept in a drawer in her desk. She wore ripped knee boyfriend jeans, black sneakers, a black and white plaid shirt, and a black tank top tucked into her pants. Her hair was pulled into a curly puff mess on top of her head, a sort of front ponytail style. Hank watched her walk down, holding out his hand for her to take, which she gladly accepted.

“Your ass is mine.” Hank said with a laugh as he looked at Ryan. They both stepped into the cage with him, Hank ushering Sia inside. She closed the cage door and looked at Ryan. “Miss me, ‘master’?” She sneered at him. Ryan scoffed at her. “You beat on my girl? My detective?” Hank questioned him with the voice. You know the voice. Hank’s “I’m gonna fuck you up” voice. Ryan’s eyebrows raised. “C’mon, man. I was only doing what’s right.” He said. Hank’s eyebrows furrowed. “You know how they get. You better put her in her place.” Ryan told Hank in a defensive tone. Hank made a ‘huh’ noise.

“You’re right, bro.” Hank agreed. He turned to Sia and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her into a deep kiss. Khadasiah smiled on his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck. She was on her tip toes, one of Hank’s hands on her waist while the other was tangled in her hair. A pleasured sound came from Sia’s throat before she pulled away. Hank winked at her. “You in your place now?” Hank inquired. Sia made a chipper “mhm!” sound, which led to Hank pulling her to his side with his arms wrapped around her shoulders. Ryan looked mortified.

“How do you sleep at night?” He spat at Hank. The sergeant scoffed. “Usually with her head on my chest.” Hank shrugged. Khadasiah let out a laugh. Hank pressed another kiss to her hair before looking at Ryan in the face. “If you ever,” Hank started while holding Ryan’s shirt and holding him against the wall. “Disrespect her again,” He said before punching him straight in the nose. Ryan hollered. “You’ll be in a bodybag.” He said before throwing Ryan to the ground. “When I haul your ass back to my interview room, you better tell us what you know.” The man only chucked and spit out blood.

“You’re insane.” The man told the sergeant. Sis just watched them. “Baby, go get that baseball bat over there for me.” Hank said, pointing to the bat without looking at her. Her eyes widened at what he called her, Before she could react, Ryan flipped the switch. “Okay! Okay. I’ll tell you everything you want to know!” Ryan said quickly. Sis laughed. “Didn’t realize my ‘master’ was a little bitch.” She laughed bitterly. Ryan rolled his eyes at her.

“You’re gonna get what’s coming to you, whore. You and all your little porch monkey friends.” He said. Sia just waved him off with her hand.

———————

They put Ethan and Ryan in cells for the night. Sia and Hank were the last two in the office. They were both finishing reports. Erin went home beforehand, giving Khadasiah a big hug before leaving. The two had become close in the time Sia had worked in Intelligence.

The curly haired French woman walked into the sergeant’s office, setting the manila folder on his already paper covered desk. Hank glanced at her before looking at the papers. He picked up the folder and lazily flipped through it before standing up and throwing the folder back down on his desk. Hank, being the silent romantic he was, said nothing as he walked to Khadasiah and pulled her against him. He pressed his lips to hers, dipping her a bit. Sia gladly accepted it, craving his touch all day. She whined when Hank pulled away.

“I don’t want you going home by yourself tonight, ‘mkay?” He said to her. Looking down at his detective, Hank kept his hands on Sia’s sides. Khadasiah remembered that Ryan said that there were more of them, that they were coming, so she was naturally on edge about the threat. The woman nodded and kept her head looking down. Hank embraced her and kept her head on his shoulder. After a while, they got ready to leave. The ride to Hank’s apartment was silent. It was big, cold, and Sia had spent a lot of time there in the past couple weeks.

“I need a shower.” Khadasiah said as she stepped into the apartment. Hank took off his jacket and hung it up on the coat hanger. He nodded at her words. Her clothes were in a drawer in his room, and she already knew where the bathroom was.

Hank swiping through his phone when he heard his bathroom door open. He could see that Khadasiah didn’t shower yet, but all she wore was a towel. “You joining me or what?” She asked before dropping her towel. Hank chuckled, set his phone down, and began to take off his clothes. The entire night was filled with loud moans, no sleep, and passion. He had her in the shower, against the sink, against the wall, on the bed, against the dresser, and against the window. Hank and Sia were usually a bit rougher when they had sex, but tonight it was slow and sweet. It was...making love. He was giving her slow strokes, causing her to whine, but he just went slower. To Khadasiah, it was agonizing, but it felt so good. They would need another shower after this.

“Faster.” Sia breathed out. She was on the bed while he stood, one of her legs over his shoulder while the other one was around his waist. Hank was going slow, pushing into her and pulling out at a painfully delayed rate. “What was that, Princess? Couldn’t here you.” He inquired with a devious smirk. All Sia could do was groan out. His hand was on her stomach while he thrusted faster, causing her to nearly scream. He went faster with each thrust, causing her entire body to jolt.

“Oh god.” Khadasiah moaned out, digging her nails into his arm. Hank looked at her expression. He loved when she made faces like that. When she made those pretty little noises for him. She made him feel alive. She was intoxicating to him.

“Not God, sweetheart. Voight.” He mumbled, causing Khadasiah to close her eyes and arch her back against the mattress. Hank had pulled her off of the bed and against the wall. His arms were on either side of her, holding her up. Her arms were draped over his shoulder and her head was lolling to the side. Hank alternated between making out with her and giving her soft kisses on her neck. He was pushing in and out of her at a steady pace, soft grunts coming from his throat. Sia held onto his neck while she looked in his eyes. He looked into her eyes and saw that she wanted to tell him something. He slowed his movements, but still went in and out.

“I love you.” Khadasiah purred before connecting their foreheads. She didn’t even realize she said, and she didn’t mean to say it either. It slipped out before she could stop herself. Hank hesitated before thrusting faster, eliciting a moan out of the girl on top of him. He hadn’t heard those words from anyone in a while. They went at it until about 2am. Khadasiah’s head had indeed ended up on Hank’s chest. He was stroking her curls, playing with them subconsciously. Sia was listening to Hank’s heartbeat. It comforted her to know that his heart was beating—that it was beating for her.

“You called me Baby.” She said against his chest. She heard his heartbeat quicken before he let out a chuckle. “Yes I did. You got a problem with that?” He interrogated. Sia scrunched up her nose and playfully hit his chest.

“You don’t have to be so hard all the time.” She answered. Hank pulled her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. His small way of an apology. Sia yawned a few moments later. When he played with her hair like that, she always got sleepy. He saw her expression and pressed his mouth to her hair, stroking lines through her hair and down her back. Khadasiah felt herself slipping in and out of consciousness. She was nearly asleep when she heard him speak again.

“Hey, hey.” Hank whispered.

“Hmm?” She hummed.

“Love you too.” He recited. He didn’t bother waiting for a reply. He heard her soft breaths, notifying him that she was asleep. He quietly chuckled to himself before falling asleep himself. This woman would be the death of Hank Voight.

[ladyboltontoyou]

Arthur Morgan x Reader: Murderous Times

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ABUSE, DO NOT READ IF THIS IS TRIGGERING.

Ask: Hey, I requested before and I'm not sure if it's okay to do it again. I'm so obsessed with your writing. Anyway, please do this one only if you feel like it and if you're comfortable. Basically, the gang is falling apart and Micah finds another way to get to Arthur-by leading his girl away from camp, putting a knife to her throat and almost assaulting her (Arthur comes to rescue of course) This can be after Micah's remarks about how he 'can imagine her slipping into his sheets' or other sly bullshit

Warning: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, DO NOT READ IF THIS IS TRIGGERING. There is no actual abuse but it is implied. Cursing, violence.

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader

A/N: Hey, so first off, this is a very dangerous one-shot. I’ve never written about sexual assault before, and I probably won’t again since it’s such a serious topic. I was torn writing this because as a r*pe victim I know what it’s like to see it talked about so nonchalantly, put in fanfiction by people who have no idea what it’s like. But I want you all to know that I take assault VERY seriously. If I wasn’t a survivor myself there would be no way in hell I would write about something like this. I’d also like to take this opportunity to tell you all that my inbox is ALWAYS open if you want to talk about something like this, or if you just want to vent or get some advice. I know how it feels and none of you are alone in this. Sexual assault hotline: 1-800-656-4673 They’re open 24/7. Please do not hesitate to call. Help is always out there, and you WILL get through this.

“Would you look at her, black lung?” 

Arthur was so close to killing Micah then and there. And that rat-bastard wasn’t helping at all. The past week Micah had seemed to turn on everyone in camp beside Dutch and you. He had been giving everyone a hard time, insulting them left and right. But he had been kinder to you, kinder than normal. He’d go out of his way to help you and do the things Arthur usually did for you. Make your coffee in the morning, pull out chairs for you, things that you barely noticed. 

Arthur and everyone else noticed. Especially Arthur. And it drove him crazy. 

“Don’t know why she’s with you. You ever saw a woman that pretty before?” Micah asked as he took a long gulp of moonshine. 

You were across camp from the two of them, you and Mary-Beth were discussing books by the other campfire. Arthur swore you never looked more beautiful than when you weren’t trying to be.

“I can imagine slipping into her sheets. Think she’d put up a fight?”

Arthur turned to face the unwanted company and made it clear he was about to knock his teeth out. “You got a problem?”

“Oh no, of course not.” Micah held up his hands and laughed. “No problem at all.” He looked back to you laughing with the other woman and grinned. “The opposite of a problem, actually.”

***

“(Y/N), there you are!”

You set your coffee cup down and turned to see none other than Micah Bell walking towards you. You tried not to cringe as he sat down at your table. 

“Been looking for you. I need your help. I was walking a few of the horses,” Why the hell was that lazy bastard doing that? “And two of them got spooked and ran off. Charles's and yours. I managed to get his back to camp but yours won’t come to me.”

“What? Where did you lose her?” You stood up, your heart racing. Oh, if anything happened to her you might die.

“Don’t worry, she’s not too far away. We can walk there.” “Okay, let me go tell Arthur-”

Micah grabbed your wrist as you went to leave. “He’s not here, he’s in Saint Denis.

You furrowed your brows. What was he doing there? He hadn’t told you he was going anywhere. Not to mention you swore you saw him only an hour ago helping with chores. “Okay, let’s go then.” 

It would be a lie to say you didn’t have a bad feeling. You didn’t like Micah in the slightest. He was disgusting, dirty, rude. He had no respect for anyone but himself. You were one of the few people who knew he would kill Dutch in a second if he could get away with it.

But you loved your horse. You had to get her back before anything happened to her. Hopefully, she was grazing in a field nearby and not at the bottom of a cliff. “What’s with Arthur recently?” Micah asked as the two of you walked the trail that led out of camp. “He’s not been acting himself.”

You sighed, knowing what he was trying to do. “Listen, I don’t want to talk about him when he’s not here.” There was nothing you wanted to avoid more than entertaining Micah’s nonsense. 

“Fair enough, I was just wondering. He’s been sneaking out at night sometimes and getting back real early in the morning.” Did he really think you’d buy into his lies? You knew what he was trying to do. Anyone with common sense would know that he was trying to tear the two of you apart. 

“Where did you lose them again?” You tried to change the subject.

“A little up that a'way.” He pointed off the trail towards the deeper part of the woods. “You know, (Y/N), you’re one of the only good ones left in the gang. Everyone else is always questioning Dutch, especially Arthur. It’s like they’ve all turned on the man that’s been nothing but good to them.”

The only reason you hadn’t questioned Dutch was that you wanted to avoid that crazy bastard as much as you could. It pained you to see what he had become.

“Well thank you.” You muttered and looked around for your horse. You started calling out her name in hopes of shutting Micah up. But of course, that failed.

(The mentions of assault begin below this.)

“Why are you with him anyway? Not like he’s gonna last much longer.”

That was it for you. You were only annoyed before, but when he said that sentence you lost your shit.

“What the fuck did you just say?” You stopped in your tracks and faced him. 

“Oh, I meant no harm, it’s just-”

You stepped closer to him and slapped him right across the face. “I don’t care what you meant. I’m going back to camp and I’m going to tell Charles and Javier what you’ve done. Then we’re gonna come back up here, and if you haven’t found my horse by then we’re gonna-”

Micah had planned on leading you further away from camp but he figured this would work. He pulled his knife from his belt and grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back so he could press the blade against your throat. “You got a big mouth, don’t you?” His nice guy act was gone. “I been thinking of what to do with that mouth for weeks now…”

Oh, fuck no. No way. There was no way. 

“Let me go. Let me go or I swear to god-” He cut you off by pressing the blade harder against your throat. Thankfully he was just applying pressure and it didn’t cut you. But if he decided to slide the blade along your skin… 

“You’ll do what, huh?” He gave your hair a yank and you cried out. “You won’t do shit, sweetheart. Not a damn thing.”

That’s when you heard the sound of hooves. You glanced in the direction they were coming from and almost cried. 

Arthur swung off of his horse and tackled Micah, throwing him to the ground and wrapping his hands around his throat. No fighting. No punching. He was going to end his life then and there, and there was no force on earth that could stop him. 

You watched with one hand around your throat, rubbing the indent of his knife with your fingers. If Arthur didn’t show up you probably would have escaped anyway, but the thought of ‘what if’ was still scary. You knew Micah was evil, but you didn’t think he’d ever be a danger to you.

It ended as quickly as it began. 

Arthur stood up and rushed to you, cupping your cheeks with his hands. They felt hot. 

“Are you okay? Did he do anything to you? Did,” He hesitated and you could see how hard he was clenching his jaw by the muscles in his face. “Did he… did he touch you?”

“No.” You said and you saw him relax in relief. “No. He led me out here saying he lost my horse, and,” A lump formed in your throat as reality set in. “And then he had the knife at my throat.”

Arthur wrapped his arms around you in an attempt to make you feel safe. “Nothing’s gonna hurt you, darlin’.” He whispered and let you cry into his chest. “Nothin’. Not while I’m here.” 

You parted from the hug and wiped away your tears, looking down at Micah’s body. “What will we tell Dutch?”

“The truth. And if he has a problem with that then he can take it up with me. I won’t hesitate to do the same damn thing to him too.” Then was the moment you realized how much you meant to him. He would gladly kill Dutch for you without any hesitation. The man who had raised him. For you.

He pet your hair for a minute as you looked down at Micah’s body with glazed over eyes. “I want to leave, Arthur.”

“I do too, believe me. I want all of us to. But before I can I’ve got to get John and his family out of this mess. Sadie and the girls too. They deserve a better life than this.” 

You nodded and looked back to the man in front of you. “I know. We’ll get them out. We just need a plan of our own.” 

“Ours is the only plan I’ll have faith in.”

[hillnerd]

Why I’m not cool with Drarry, Dramione, Drinny, or Dron: a rant

They are big NOtps for me. [if you are pro any of those ships, this post is not for you and you won’t like it.]

Ok- this is not me trying to shame anyone on what they like- this is just me going off on why I don’t personally like it, and how I see it approached often in the fandom.  Started thinking about it when I saw the Pro-Dramione post on HP confessions, but didn’t want to post this there, as I knew it’s turn into a ‘thing.’ :P I’m definitely overly sensitized from my own stuff and taking shipping of abusers/victims way too personally today, so I’m going off in a post I probably shouldn’t- but I just can’t help myself. 

I don’t hate Draco, actually. I know it sounds like it (and just wait til I really go off!)- but I find him interesting and like reading stories where he grows and changes and take responsibility for his terrible actions. I like drawing him every once in a while (have some Drastoria.) I’ve even had him show up in some fics from a long time ago- because I find him interesting.

Now in fics/art/comics people tend to skip the hard part of Draco’s redemption and just get straight to the ‘juicy/fun part’ of Draco getting with whomever. I get it. That’s the fun part of shipping. 

But for me, personally, I just get grossed out having the happy!shippy things going on, when there is so much history there and I didn’t get to see it addressed. It’s literally a weird trigger for me that makes me physically shudder.

The talk about it as a ‘beautiful story of forgiveness’ makes me get sick to my stomach. I’m not exagerating. It really makes me have a physical reaction. I’m a mess though (As so many of you on here know, as I am a book that is way too open). So I tend to physically react to things that relate to abuse type stuff. :P 

Now I really do believe that people can change for the better- and think Draco ended up doing this- but I really reaaaally don’t like people becoming romantically entangled with their abusers (or someone who abused their loved ones.) That is a dynamic that I find appalling. He wasn’t just a bully or doing harmless schoolyard teasing. He was a straight up abuser.

Mostly approaching this from the Anti-Dramione pov- as that was what I was reading:

So he began as a terror of a bully/abuser- This is a kid who threw around the equivalent of racial slurs on the regular. Tried to get an innocent animal killed. Went out of his way to emotionally torture her friends. Helped get her and her friends in the clutches of Umbridge (who physically and emotionally scarred students.)

If it had stopped there- maybe, just maybe I could be less averse to those ships? Maybe. It’d be hard work on his part, but maybe I could do it?

Then He physically assaulted her friends, and almost killed two innocent students (Alicia and Ron (the boy she loves)). He let murderers into the castle filled with kids and helped get Ron’s brother mauled. He had a chance to join Dumbledore and didn’t.

Then- during the war- he didn’t just sit and idly watch bad things go down. If he had, or better yet- if he had HELPED, I would have a different take on these ships. But no- during the war he actively helps the dark side. He dueled Harry and Ron when they were trying to save Hermione from Bellatrix and an approaching Voldemort (Hermione btw was about to be handed over to Fenrir, who it was implied was about to either r*pe her or tear her to shreds?) He tried to take Harry to Voldemort (who was gonna murder Harry).

Like.... I just can’t come to terms with all that going down- and any of them being ok with him intimately. You think she should forgive that? Not only forgive that- but then become entangled romantically with him? Or Harry should? Or Ron should? Ginny should? People honestly think there are enough conversations and actions that make it feasible?

Like I said- most fics/art/comics I see skip over all the steps he’d have to take to even be friends with them just to get to the ‘fun’ part of things. Again, I understand why.

For me I can appreciate Draco in things- It’s one thing for him to build relationships and friendships with people who he didn’t abuse/barely witnessed the abuses- but people who were there through the whole thing? It’s a big ol’ blech from me.

I’ve been in fandom for a long long time- and most fics typically skip over all that actual redemption very quickly- like one to two conversations of ‘I was really awful’ ‘you were, but I understand why- so let’s be friends’ and... yikes...

I am actually a very forgiving person. WAY TOO forgiving. I forgave a ton of abusers and bullies way more quickly than they deserved- and am working on it- because it just kept inviting those types back into my life. So these sorts of dynamics make me sad.

I want characters I’ve always liked and admired the strength and bravery of to continue to be that- to stand up for themselves and those they love. You can forgive others- but letting them into your life that intimately after all that history is really troubling for me.

Because it’s not just your relationship that would have to have this level of forgiveness- it’s also all the other relationships in your life. He abused all of them- horribly. He needs to work hard to gain the forgiveness of ALL of them- and it’d be messed up to be in a relationship with someone who would be a triggering nightmare for your friends. Like... You just can’t do that to people you love and friendships you value. 

‘I know he abused you, and almost got you murdered multiple times by his own direct actions- but we had a conversation and he’s being nice now- so let’s all collectively get over years and years of his abuse because he’s hawt and sowwy.’ 

Blech

The implications of it all just make me feel uneasy.

[cynically-optimistic]

With a week to sit back and think “what the fuck did I just watch,” I thought I would now do a review of American Horror Story: Apocalypse.

As we know (and may or may not agree upon) ahs8 had its various strengths and weaknesses. Many aspects of this season I found riveting but unfortunately by the end of episode 10, the season is left chalked full of plot holes and continuity errors that effectively make so much of this particular story obsolete. This season had all of the components we have loved for years and the potential to be the most amazing season yet, however it fell flat either in the writers room or the editing room. They cultivated this story for 8 years but with the vast underdevelopment of this season and it’s protagonists, they have effectively caused us to ask more questions like what was the entire point of season 8 of American Horror Story?

So here are some notable plot holes and criticisms I have for AHS: Apocalypse.

First and foremost, my biggest problem with this season is that we have almost no information about Mallory at all and they never spend time developing her character. And what the actual fuck is she? There is no way she is a witch, and this season was drastically underwhelming in this regard. I think we were all expecting an epic, biblical battle for the end of days to be fought between the Antichrist and the second coming of Christ or even an Archangel, but no such luck. It is only ever said that Mallory is just a witch...just a witch who got on my fucking nerves. We spent the whole season in flashbacks pertaining to Michael and never developing Mallory any further beyond “oh well her powers are cool,” and honestly, what gives? She has these amazing powers, never before seen by the witches, and we’re just supposed to believe that she isn’t some sort of celestial being? By the time she does defeat Michael, she is not a character we empathize with, she was basically an empty shell of the potentially badass character she was supposed to be. She has all of these powers and runs a 4 year old Michael Langdon over with an SUV...thrice….three times… Mallory could have been an amazing character and I would have completely rooted for her to defeat Michael with all the righteousness of Heaven, regardless of his tragic backstory that the writers spent too fucking long cultivating. But since we know practically nothing about her, all I can say is that she’s just ended up being a dick who murdered a child. Yeah, he was going to end the world, but he had the potential to be turned around, as depicted in his extensive backstory. Too many people wanted him to survive and just be allowed to end the world because Cody Fern is hot and Michael Langdon falls into the typical “tragic backstory, white, villain dude who is moderately conventionally attractive and therefore should be allowed to murder people without scrutiny.” He fits in that trope to a T and it works regardless of it being a tired trope fandom culture tends to fawn over. But no, I truly think, because of the amount of time they cultivated his character in both the light and dark, he could’ve been not such an evil son of a bitch. I cannot say the same for other examples of this trope like Tate Langdon, or Kylo Ren from Star Wars, or even Loki to some extents. This paragraph was supposed to be about Mallory but here again, I have veered into talking about Michael since he is her direct counterpart with way more backstory. I wish I had more to say about Mallory but she was such a blank slate. It’s sad that Coco of all people had more of a personality and backstory. We knew everything we needed to know about Coco and we knew literally NOTHING about Mallory. Ugh. In no way is this a criticism of Billie Lourd, I honestly think she just fell victim to bad writing this time around.

How did Emily and Timothy conceive the new antichrist when in season 1, Billie directly states that the antichrist, who would bring about the end of days, had to be conceived via human and spirit - like Michael. Furthermore, what is this “special DNA” Emily and Timothy have? We can surmise that it makes antichrists but HOW? And how did the Cooperative isolate and identify this DNA makeup to send these two individuals to Outpost 3 in the first place? And if the Cooperative knew that they could potentially make a new antichrist, did Michael know about it? My guess is no, but we will never know. Which begs the question, is the new anti christ going to be worse and if so, what was even the point of this season? Either way, in a few years, the entire world is fucked…again. The only redeemable aspect of that for Michael was that he craved to be loved and spent most of his time looking for someone to care about him rather than carrying out the Devil’s plans. Constance didn’t do this so he went searching for it and was systematically turned away which lead him right into the arms of his true father. This new kid is deeply loved by Emily and Timothy, and without the potential failsafe of him wishing to be loved and cared for, I believe this kid will be so much worse than Michael.

What is the Rubberman? The only new information we have gotten on this since season 1 is from Cody who says that Rubberman is not always Michael or Tate, but something else entirely. Like what? A demon? And it’s literally never addressed. Rubberman shows up unexpectedly (unexpectedly because you know, the world ended…) in Outpost 3, fucks Mr Gallant (why doesn’t he have a first name by the way? ) and is then the catalyst for Mr Gallant murdering his grandmother. So what exactly is this entity?

Also, what was the Sanctuary supposed to be? I don’t think it was just bullshit on Michael’s part to fuck with the desperate people in the Outposts. I do believe there was a sanctuary but we never see it and we never get any further information. I saw some interesting theories that maybe the Sanctuary is the Murder House, which would have been so interesting given that everyone in there rejected Michael, but he might still care about them, and potentially save the house in the nuclear blasts.

{Trigger Warning for sexual assault on this one regarding Tate Langdon} I think the theory Madison has about Murder House is a little off base. She tells Violet that the house made Tate evil but… here’s the thing: yes, we have watched the house and it’s resident ghosts interfere and influence people’s actions, but ultimately they all make their own choices, like Lorraine who set the house on fire which killed herself and her two daughters, and then influences Ben’s sleepwalking and fabricating his obsession with fire, but nothing drastic ever comes from this. So, I honestly don’t believe the house forced Tate to set Larry on fire (as revenge for Larry killing Beau) and shoot up his high school, killing 15 people, because those atrocities did NOT take place in the house. I don’t even know if I can believe that the house possessed and forced him to r*pe Viven and impregnate her with Michael but that seems to be the only horrific thing he did that could even begin to be blamed on the house. The house is a Hellmouth but doesn’t affect those who leave it’s property lines apart from encouraging them to return, almost like an addiction, but one that you can dismiss by just not going back to the house. So while Return to Murder House is a lovely nostalgic experience, I call bullshit. Ultimately though, I do think Madison was just trying to help and give the souls trapped there a little peace which was nice of her, but I’m not fully convinced she was right about Tate.

What happened to Kyle? This season was a crossover between Murder House and Coven but he is never mentioned by Madison or Zoe and is never shown at Miss Robichaux’s Academy. So where is our favorite unproblematic zombie Evan Peters at?

One huge problem I had with this season was Cordelia. She spent this entire season fighting her own fear of decay and death, while trying not to be like Fiona, and ultimately bringing them all to their doom. She sees a vision of the future apocalypse and every single step she takes thereafter to avoid it is a contributing factor that leads them all directly to it. Michael only fully set his sights on murdering all of the witches after Cordelia burnt Ms. Mead at the stake. Mead wasn’t even a witch, so how was that acceptable under witch law? Cordelia wasn’t even allowed to light the fire to burn the warlocks, so how was she allowed to murder a normal human? Mead may have been a ruthless spy and a satanist, but she was human all the same. Then Cordelia tells Michael, as he is devastated to find the charred corpse of Ms. Mead, that he can still choose to be good. Let’s be real, anyone of us would tell her to fuck off and set our sights on revenge if she did that to one of our loved ones. By having another maternal figure taken away from Michael, the only one who accepted and loved him (in her own way) Cordelia put the nails in her own coffin and that of the world. She is among the notable figures that push him along the darkest path, such as Constance, Ben, Tate, Viven, the Warlocks, Ms. Mead (even though she loved him, she loved Lucifer more), the Satanists, The Cooperative, and Mutt & Jeff. He is manipulated at every turn to bring about a future of mass destruction that other people want, and Cordelia was a definite contributor, but let it be known that Michael’s actions are ultimately his own.

The fact that Madison never met Charles, Nora, or Thaddeus while she was at the Murder House is a travesty. That would have been SOOOO interesting.

What the fuck was Ms. Venable’s issue? She was such an asshole to everyone and we never really figure out why other than she works for a bunch of idiots.

I enjoyed the culture around the warlocks because it was so ridiculous, they were the whiniest bunch of assholes, but I also hated this because they were the whiniest bunch of asshole. They were so desperate to overthrow Cordelia, even though none of them even come close to being able to do so (sorry not sorry boys) that they basically invite the apocalypse into their school. The only one who was like “nah, this is probably a bad idea,” was John Henry Moore, played by the incomparable Cheyenne Jackson, who I wish had bigger role to play in this storyline. He was the only warlock worth a damn, but ultimately they were all murdered. Or wait, no they weren’t. Time travel..

Some of the things changed by Mallory’s time traveling:

The warlocks are never murdered but they are still a bunch of whiny assholes

Tate and Violet don’t get back together (good)

Michael never destroys those nice lesbians’ souls, or anyone souls, which is good but who knows what this new Antichrist is capable of and when he will begin to tap into those powers

Constance (as far as we know) doesn’t commit suicide in the Murder House

Moira never finds peace in the light with her mom

Viven and Ben never reconcile

Which also means that Ben is still spending all of his time with Tate and crying while he masturbates out the window so…

Michael never lives in the Murder House

Ben never connects with Michael, Tate never screams at him in disgust, and Viven never tries to kill him

Queenie is never murdered in the Hotel Cortez by Ramona Royale and James Patrick March

Cordelia never has to bring Myrtle back from the dead, so she is still gone

Madison is still trapped in her own personal hell and Mallory doesn’t feel the need to bring her back even though Madison was way more useful this season than Mallory was. We knew Madison, we cared about her, we watched her grow into being a caring person this season, and Mallory is the self righteous ass that thinks Madison doesn’t deserve to leave hell

Michael is never taken in by Ms Mead. He never attends Black Mass and he never eats that poor girl’s heart (all of this was encouraged and initiated by the Satanists - not Michael)

Marie Laveau is still in hell with Papa Legba. She was anyway because Michael ripped her heart out of her chest 2 seconds after she got back but she never returned at all thanks to Mallory

Dinah obviously never gets her talkshow but she is still out here being shady as fuck and will inevitably betray the witches and voodoo queens again, probably for a fucking talkshow, when the new antichrist is running around burning the world down

The end of days doesn’t come, but again, we don’t know that for sure. At best, Mallory only bought the world and the witches a few extra years. So we can only really say that the apocalypse might not happen the exact way Michael (the Cooperative) makes it happen

Some of the thing I actually liked about this season:

THE ENTIRE FIRST HALF WAS INCREDIBLE and it’s really the lack of development throughout the final 4 or 5 episodes I had an issue with

Cody Fern is undeniably a spectacular performer and I very much enjoyed all of the layer and nuance that he brought to the character of Michael Langdon even though in the end it didn’t amount to much. Still, I can’t wait to see what he does next.

I have always loved Cordelia, and even though I very much expected her to be an influence of growth for Mallory and she never really got there, she was still a lovely presence and she spoke some of my favorite lines in this season being “Satan has one son, but my sisters are a legion, motherfucker,” and “I only knew you for a short time, but I missed you forever.”

DayFoxx or MistyXCordelia. You cannot convince me they are not in love, you just can’t. Their interactions were nothing short of magic.

Other than DayFoxx interactions, hands down the best line was, “the stew is Stu!”

Return to Murder House was arguably one of the best episodes of the entire series, directed by one of our high queens, Sarah Paulson in her directorial debut. It had everything we loved about season 1 and I would have loved to watch 5 hours of Madison walking through Murder House, meeting all the ghosts, instead of the last 5 hours of the season we got.

As much as I grew to hate Constance this season, it was still so lovely to have our Queen Jessica Lange back.

Sign me up anytime to see Angela Bassett as Marie Laveau like holy hell yes

I absolutely LOVED the idea of Zoe being a teacher at the Academy.

We could have all benefited from seeing more of Bubbles. Joan Collins was a fantastic addition to the AHS family.

FRANCIS CONROY. Need I say more? I don’t but I will, Myrtle dragging the patriarchy cleansed my soul

It was actually really lovely to see Connie Britton as Viven again. I have always had a soft spot in my heart for Viven and I feel terrible for everything she has been through. She never gets closure because of Mallory’s new timeline but I just hope she does find peace at some point.

With this rich of a storyline, I think we can all agree that 10 episodes was simply not enough to fully deliver this story after a build up of 8 years. Other seasons of AHS range from 11 to 13 episodes, with the exception of Roanoke which was also only 10 episodes. But with those extra hours, Apocalypse could have been incredible. There simply wasn’t enough time, and what time they did have and utilize was almost entirely spent on Michael which we find didn’t matter at all by the end.

Leave your thoughts in the comments if you have anything you’d like to add.

[broken-mind-posts]

This can’t happen to me

*WARNING*

There’s mention of difficult subjects for people such as r*pe and s*xual as**ult. Read at your own risk.

...I think I was sexually assaulted today.

I can’t tell anyone because they’ll say it’s my fault but I can’t keep this inside so I’ll post it here.

I came to UF to visit a friend and I ended up staying the weekend with him. I had a crush on him for a long time so I was excited because we were going to be intimate. I got here and we had intercourse for the first time and it was great and everything was good. We decided to shower together and that was all fine. Afterwards, he asked me if I wanted to smoke with him and I thought “why not”. I figured, he’s been my friend for years so there shouldn’t be any harm in smoking with him.

I smoked with him and got high. This was the first time I ever felt high in my life and I think I smoked a lot. He kept telling me to hit it and saying to just keep going so that I’ll eventually feel it. I listened because I couldn’t picture him having a malicious intent. I got high, extremely.

After that he started kissing me and I was okay with that I just wasn’t interested in doing anything past that. He put his hand down my pants and this is where my memory gets foggy. I remember saying “I don’t really want to do this right now” and him just saying it’s okay and how I wanted it. I thought I did so I complied.

After he did that he grabbed my hand and told me I should give him head. I didn’t really want to. I told him I was tired and I didn’t want to do this. He told me to just grab it and put my mouth on it and he would do the work. I complied because I didn’t know what else to do and for some reason I couldn’t find the strength to get off. I kept stopping and telling him I was tired and didn’t want to do this.

He started pushing my head down and told me to just keep my mouth open. My jaw started to hurt. I told him that it hurt and my arms hurt and that I didn’t want to do it anymore. He didn’t stop.

Eventually he realized that I couldn’t do anything. I was falling asleep while in the process of giving head. I didn’t realize what was going on through most of it. I kept going in and out of consciousness not knowing I was in the middle of a sexual act. After a while, I felt my body incapable of moving itself so I just laid down. He started to jack himself off while I laid there starting to fall asleep again.

He started saying he wanted to cum in my mouth after I repeatedly told him I didn’t want to do that. He told me to just lay there with my mouth open and he would do it but I kept telling him I didn’t want to. Thankfully, he finished before he was able to do it. He was in the process of getting on top of me and opening my mouth when he came on himself and his bed. He cleaned himself up and we went into the living room.

I kept tripping after like 2 hours since it was my first time. Everything felt so surreal. He’s a nice guy so I kept telling myself that nothing bad happened in his bed earlier. He’s not the type to do something like that. And I... I wouldn’t be sexually assaulted. That wouldn’t happen to me. That CAN’T happen to me. I eventually fell asleep on the couch for a while. At around 11 he woke me up and told me to just go to sleep in his bed if I was tired so I listened. He came in at around 12 and said he was feeling tired too.

He got in bed and we started to cuddle. I like cuddling and I kept telling myself that what happened earlier was okay. We started watching YouTube videos and then he started to kiss me. I told him I was too tired to do that and he started to plead with me. I was able to keep my ground a little. He dropped it for a little and kept playing the video. Eventually he proposed that we slept with our clothes off. It makes no sense now, but at the moment I was still feeling some effects from the weed so I thought if I listened he would actually go to sleep. That didn’t happen.

He started to kiss me and tell me I was beautiful. I told him I didn’t want to do this because I was too tired. He kept telling me I was irresistible. I knew I didn’t want to do this but I was also afraid of what could happen and I started to believe him calling me beautiful. He kept touching me and pleading with me and I eventually said “whatever”. He never double checked if I was in the right state of mind to give consent. He just automatically took that and my inability to say no as consent.

He started saying he was going to stick it in raw and I kept telling him no. At one point I was very afraid because he lifted my leg and put his penis really close to my vagina. I was afraid. I felt my body start to shut down. I had no strength over him, there was nothing I could do. I pleaded with him to wear a condom and that I didn’t want to get pregnant. Thankfully, he obliged.

He put the condom on and started to have sex with me. I was half asleep and couldn’t tell what was going on. Halfway through I told him I was tired and we should stop. He didn’t, he kept going. I wasn’t that into it. I wanted to stop because it felt wrong. A small voice in my head told me that this was wrong and not okay. He didn’t stop. I gave up and gave in because I figured once he came he would be done and I would be left alone. He finished and washed up and went to bed.

I went to the bathroom right after and started to come to terms with what happened. I sat on the floor and started to cry. As I lay here next to me I feel disgust and disappointment for myself. Why would I let this happen to me. It’s my fault isn’t it? Why would I get high with him. I thought I could trust him because we were childhood friends. I put myself in this situation so it’s clearly my fault. And he’s a nice guy who wouldn’t do something like this.

No one would believe me anyway. It wasn’t clear rape because I wasn’t in immense pain. I felt discomfort but there wasn’t pain and I could never prove anything. No one would believe me. They would all say it’s my fault. They would all blame me because I chose to come here and do what I did. So I decided to explain everything here where no one knows me.

As much as it pains me to say this. As much as I can’t believe this has happened to me. I have to say it and accept it.

I am a victim of sexual assault.

[inside-the-fangirl-life]

To the backlash against Taylor Swift as part of Time’s Person of the Year...

I have noticed a lot of angry and negative responses to the inclusion of Taylor Swift as part of “The Silence Breakers”: the group of people who have, as Time has said, catalysed the discussion on sexual assault. I’ve also seen a lot of negativity specifically aimed at her place on the cover of the magazine, and I decided I wanted to respond in some way. 

A lot of people have said that Taylor should have been replaced by someone like Ke$ha, with a lot of the reasoning seeming to be because Ke$ha experienced a “worse” assault than Taylor. For those who are still unclear, in 2013, during her “Red” promotion, DJ David Mueller groped Taylor’s bum under her skirt. She informed the radio station, out of concern for other people he might have done that too, and he was consequently fired. Two years later, Mueller sued Taylor for up to $3 million in damages over the loss of his job and damage of his reputation. She filed sexual assault charges and counter sued for $1. Taylor won the case, and during this period, a lot of discussion came out about how people believe a victim’s experience, and how victim’s should respond. I urge anyone reading this to make an effort to go read people’s responses to the trial, as it will help them understand why I am writing this.  My point with this overall so far, is that suffering is not a competition. Sexual assault is a horrifying experience, no matter what level it is at, and is really one of the last things we should be measuring as a comparative. Why should it be said that someone who experiences r*pe is the only one “truly” traumatised when compared to someone who has only been groped? We shouldn’t tell victims that because they didn’t have the “worst” experience, they’re not qualified to feel upset and scared. We wouldn’t tell someone who’d only had a minor car crash that they’re not allowed to feel unsafe driving again because they didn’t have a major crash - why are we doing it with assault victims? We also shouldn’t be saying that only the people who have it “bad” are qualified enough to speak out. When it comes to talking about experiences of sexual assault, of course we should prioritise the voices of victims, as they’re the only ones who can tell us how they felt when they were assaulted. But when it comes to talking about the issue overall, someone who’s never been assaulted before can speak out, draw attention to the issue, and inform others, as long as they’re educated enough themselves. By educated, I mean reading about and talking to victims about their experiences and learning about how victims feel assault should be handled.  Taylor’s interview in Time has some very important messages to do with taking action when one feels it’s right and they’re safe enough to do so, and she talks about not allowing others to let victims feel like assault is their fault - these are good and important messages for both victims, and young people beginning to learn about these issues. Because she “only” experienced a grope doesn’t make these messages null and void. 

There was also another issue people had that I would like to talk about: Taylor’s lack of a voice surrounding certain issues. I am a fan of Taylor - I have been for as long as I can remember - but I am not some blind follower who places her on a pedestal so high that she is untouchable. I too wished she would speak out about certain things more than she did, namely Trump, and I too would have liked to hear more of her voice on sexual assault outside of this interview and the recorded testimony from the trial. I wished for this, and can appreciate the frustration some people felt and still feel when this didn’t happen.  However, I can also appreciate that Taylor has a very, very large platform. While many of us might see this as the perfect opportunity to speak out about as much as possible, Taylor’s platform reaches all sorts of people from all sorts of different places. I can appreciate how she might be hesitant to speak out about certain things, lest it make fans feel alienated and disconnected from her. Many may be quick to jump to claim this as a money gathering technique, but those of us who are true fans of Taylor know that she loves and cares for all of us deeply - she would do anything to stay connected and develop relationships with us. It’s not too hard to see why she wouldn’t want to possibly ruin that relationship with a controversial statement. 

Finally, I just have to say that this was in no way at all intended to make people like Ke$ha and their experiences feel ignored. I know Ke$ha has a horrifying experience that I wouldn’t even wish on my worst enemies - she experienced not only assault, but a brutal loss in court and then the requirement to continue working with her abuser. I know there are several people out there in the world who have been through some of the most awful, violent assaults. I know there are people who go through terrible abuses and then go on to speak about it at every possible opportunity. I know that these people are incredibly brave, and I know that their experiences are seriously significant parts of their lives and who they are as people. I know their voices count, and I would’ve loved to see Ke$ha included in “The Silence Breakers” just as much as anyone else. But I also know that everyone who has experienced sexual assault counts. 

Assault is something no one should have to go through, but unfortunately, we live in a world where it is far too common. We need to work together to not only expose abusers and assaulters, but change society to become a safer, happier place. We’re doing pretty well so far, calling out people like Harvey Weinstein, Casey Affleck, and more recently, Melanie Martinez. We now need to not only ensure that they’re punished, but ensure that the next generation grows up knowing that what these people have done is far from okay, and they never have to stand for those kinds of actions. When we support all victims, we make the way for the best possible communication and education, and the best possible understanding. We need to not tear down one victim because they’re supposedly not as traumatised as another. Please - let’s work together to get victims voices heard, and get attitudes changed. 

*****************

If there’s anything I’ve gotten wrong in this, or there’s something you disagree with and want to talk to me about it - please do! I always want to further my education on topics like these and I’d be more than happy to speak to people about mine and their opinions as long as we’re all civil about it :) Much love everyone <3

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2sicVTM

For those who drive often, there are unfortunately many mundane obstacles people have to face, while on the road. Such daily driving headaches could be waiting in traffic, or having to sit and wait in one lane because of ongoing construction. Other people, for the most part, can be traumatizing as well. Let us face the reality that people are generally selfish. It takes a rare individual to be patient and think about others while driving. Every now and then, you’ll get a genuinely nice person to halt a busy traffic lane to let you squeeze in. You may be courteous to each other by waving hands to show appreciation, but this isn’t always so. Most of us have busy lives, things to do, and places to go. So of course, you’re going to run into drivers who like to cut people off, switch lanes abruptly without proper signals, ignore stop signs, ignore pedestrian rules, or even worse, steal your parking spot. When you think of parking, people generally don’t tend to think much of it. Street parking is horrendous, and most try to get away from it by parking in garages. However, garages aren’t always the safest places either. There are a lot of creepy things that happen all over the world, but who knew some of them take place in parking garages? Thankfully, with the addition of security cameras, some of these scary moments have been taken as evidence. Below is a list of 15 Disturbing Pics Taken In Parking Lots By Security Cameras.

#1 Daylight Robbery When you think of robberies, most people’s minds imagine a shady guy in a mask, probably armed, dressed in dark clothing, and going about his intention in the dead of night. Stores are equipped with cameras, but in that intense and usually brief moment (right before something dangerous goes down), the camera is useless. Furthermore, most don’t think robberies or crimes happen in broad daylight. What could possibly drive a person to just act on visceral intentions? Most criminals would say that crimes committed in daylight are more risky because you’re going to be noticed, especially by security cameras. Well, this is exactly what happened in a parking lot when a man was captured on a parking lot security cam, robbing another individual during the day by his red truck. The camera quality is not great, but obviously, you can make out who the culprit is and who the victim is.

#2 Bear Caught Stealing At one point, many people have all heard animals rummaging through garbage. Depending on where you live, people have reported everything and anything between possums, coyotes, and other furry creatures breaking into human trash bins in order to steal a quick late night snack. Raccoons are probably the most notorious animals, which are most common and are definitely the most skilled creatures at breaking and entering garbage bins. Yet, you can guess that the humans who owned the security camera behind their restaurant lot, were absolutely floored when they saw this massive animal trying to get some good eating. The restaurant back lot is where staff go to take breaks and park if need be. The lot also houses the restaurant garbage bins and is equipped with security cameras, due to previous reports of intruders going through the garbage. No one would expect it was a massive bear causing all the raucous.

#3 Hit And Run Captured For anyone who has a decent soul, one of the worst fears that some drivers can have is accidentally causing an accident or hitting an individual. Some can even feel remorse when they hit an animal with their car. The intention to actually hit something, in order to cause injury or death, is extremely cruel, irresponsible, and malicious. Unfortunately, there are a lot of crazy people out in this world, who really shouldn’t be driving, but do drive and in the end, cause a lot of hurt and pain. In a North Carolina gas station parking lot, a driven vehicle was captured on security cameras hitting an individual late at night. By the image, you can clearly determine the force of the hit, and obviously see the victim being hit so hard that his entire body rolled over the vehicle. The legs are sprawled out uncontrollably. It is absolutely shocking to witness.

#4 Ghost Caught In Parking Garage When people think about hauntings, most people picture a dark castle, a dilapidated and abandoned home, a disturbing mental facility, or some sort of grave (or burial) site where the dead might roam. Nobody really links parking garages and ghostly hauntings together in their minds. It’s pretty random to think that parking garages might be the new hot spot for the creepy paranormal, and most didn’t think so until some interesting footage and evidence was captured on parking garage security cameras. Check out this one disturbing image of a ghostly figure passing behind a black car. The image is so visually clear, that you can make out the figure’s white gown and long black hair. You can also make out what seems to be an arm as well. Obviously, the profile is hidden by the hair, or at least what seems like hair. The figure doesn’t pay any mind and is seen just moving on its way to wherever it needs to go.

#5 Haunted Oklahoma Car Impound Lot Continuing with the theme of ghosts captured on security parking lot cams, here’s one image of a ghostly figure that made national headlines from Oklahoma. In the summer of 2005, the witness was just doing her daily night duties monitoring the impound lot’s security cams when she saw something strange. The woman basically was stunned to see what looked like a floating ghost, which was frantically seen going back and forth from one part of the lot to the other. The footage has gone viral and is a clear evidence that ghosts don’t just haunt abandoned castles and graves. By the picture, you see a floating white head and arms, with the rest of the body missing. Many viewers, and the witness herself, speculate that the ghostly figure was from the night’s three-car accident. When the vehicles from the accident were brought in, the ghost must have come too, not wanting to leave behind its ride.

#6 R*pe Caught ‘Down Under’ Moving away from ghosts and going to the other side of the world, we now go to the ‘Down Under’. The location is the parking lot belonging to the University of Sydney in Australia. Most students who attend a college or university (no matter the location) are always promised some form of safety measures provided by the university. Also, typically, university grounds are probably one of the safest and most heavily-secured areas, because of its academic purpose. However, there’s always a chance of some risks happening. No university is guaranteed absolute safety, unless that university is enclosed in some massive bubble. Take this horrifying image for example. A female is captured in a parking lot camera going about her daily life when, unexpectedly, a male stranger is seen aggressively approaching her. What the image doesn’t show, is the following frame of the s*xual attack that is all captured to the side of the camera.

#7 Dangerous Clowns Many people are fed up with the whole ‘clown’ phenomena. Clowns appearing off to the side of the road alone, or knocking at windows and doors of homes, is officially drawn out. Everyone (except the clowns) are done with the trend. The random people dressing up as clowns and causing mayhem are actually doing no favors for those who actually make an honest living as clown entertainers. Many in the community voiced concerns, saying these pocket of individuals don’t represent who they are and what they do. Unfortunately, this parking lot footage in Montebello (California) is not going to be doing any favors in decreasing the stigma of clowns. In the footage, you clearly see a woman fleeing, as a man wearing a clown mask is seen making a run with her bag. According to the Los Angeles Times, the clown-masked individual was armed with a knife which you can barely make out in the image.

#8 Boston Brawl As you get older, it’s basically assumed that you’re also supposed to get a bit wiser. Sometimes, it takes longer for some people to get a clue to learn lessons and to grow up with understanding that their behavior is not acceptable. Some people make a decisive choice not to learn or grow with their age at all. Thus, they are perpetually stuck in their unattractive impudent ways. This image is a prime example of humanoid buffoonery at its finest. It’s okay to disagree with other people, but how you react shows the depth of your experience and maturity. When alcohol is mixed in, it all goes to the f*****g wind. In Boston, a parking garage footage went viral when a massive (and it’s probably the most massive) brawl took place in a garage. It was all captured on security cams. The cause is unknown, but the incident left one victim dead.

#9 MMA Fighter Kidnapping If we’re going to discuss more disgusting acts of blatant disregard for other people and disrespect, then we can look at this image. This parking lot garage footage caught an MMA fighter (Rodolfo Ramirez), in the state of Arizona, carrying an unconscious woman like a limp sack over his shoulder. The footage caught him red-handed in not only s*xually molesting the unconscious female victim, but assaulting her as well. Allegedly after to confrontation, he kidnapped her and brought her back to his home to continue his crime. Then, after he was finished with her body, he decided to abandon his victim at a random intersection. The woman was not alone, but the friend (at the time) had to temporary leave her behind in order to get their vehicle. You can only imagine the panic and shock when the friend came back to a completely deserted spot, where she left the victim.

#10 Alien Ghost Caught On Cam This parking garage footage went viral when it captured a weird unknown figure on its security camera. The image is blurry and has a bluish and greenish hue, but what the viewer can make out is creepy. At first, you think it’s a ghost…or is it? It’s pretty much assumed that ghosts are see-through. Can ghosts be opaque? Well, this footage clearly shows that, or maybe it’s not even a ghost at all. Is it an alien? It definitely looks bizarre and out-of-this-world, that it possibly could contend as extraterrestrial. What makes this argument strong is that the figure is standing in front of a black vehicle, situated next to a motorbike. You can make out its thin black peg-like legs, a massive white frame (or dress), and its black head. The head is probably the most unusual part of the figure. There’s no distinct facial feature—nose, eyes, lips.

#11 Crazy Lady Looking For Batman Check out this eerie image caught in the stairwells of a parking garage. Security cameras are all over the place. They’re mostly situated in the vicinity of the main garage on multiple floors, but some might forget that security cams lurk in the corners in the stairways as well. One particular night, all was calm and quiet, until some random female was caught going up and down the stairs of a parking garage. The caption on the image found on Photobucket, claimed that the female was looking for the secret “Batman” cave. I think someone needs to mention to her that: one, the cave is secret on purpose; two, that Batman is fictional and so is the ‘cave’; and three, out of all the places, you’re not going to find anything in a parking garage. Least of all, the Batmobile. Her delusion will probably come to a horrifying stop once she just sees a lot full of basic cars.

#12 Off-Duty Drunk Santa Everyone always looks forward to spreading hope, love, and a little bit of the holiday spirit. In this next disturbing security image, you can no doubt see someone who has taken in too many holiday spirits. If you’re someone who still believes in Christmas miracles, or the pure innocence and goodness of Santa Claus, be prepared to have your whimsical hopes dashed. Here in this grainy captured parking cam is a drunk Santa Clause who is so inebriated that he’s completely passed out in the middle of the parking garage. How horrified would it be for a parent, as they’re leaving with their child to go home, to discover an intoxicated and inebriated Santa on the cold concrete floor of a parking garage? How will the parent manage to explain that to his/her kid who still believes? If there was ever a holiday miracle, that parent probably would wish for that Santa to disappear.

#13 Car Falls Off Parking Garage This next shocking footage was caught on a parking lot cam in the state of Maryland. Just think for a second about getting into your vehicle, ready to go home, buckling yourself in, checking your mirrors, and starting your engine. You think you put the car in reverse to back out of your spot, but instead, you and your car plunge forward. In this image, a driver did exactly that. The SUV plunged four levels down onto the sidewalk. The passenger wasn’t injured (surprisingly), and by the looks of the footage, it seems no other people were harmed either. The area where people would normally walk is deserted and completely vacant. This event was all captured live on the security cam. Seeing the footage, it must have been such a fright to see, but also must’ve been an absolute shock to those who were near the parking garage in this typically quiet Baltimore township.

#14 Mystery Fog This shot was taken in broad daylight (as you can see), and it seems like just any other ordinary day in a parking lot filled with cars. What this parking lot security camera captured is a misty fog that seems to appear from out of the blue. It’s not as noticeable, but if you look carefully at the red-circled parts of the image, you can notice something strange floating around above the parking lot. The glare of the sun doesn’t seem to help the image, but if the observed mist can be spotted from as far as the distance of the camera (and during the day as well), this mystery object must have been very visible. No one knows what it is. Some have speculated just plain fog, but since the mist is only concentrated in one area and moves together, others doubt that it could be just plain fog. What do you think?

#15 White Car Vs. White Car This final image is a testament to the disturbing actions that people make under extreme circumstances. When I mentioned that drivers face many struggles, and that one primary struggle are other drivers and parking spaces, it wasn’t meant to be taken lightly. Behold this captured security cam footage at the entrance and exit point of a parking lot. Just think if you were just a normal passerby when suddenly, you heard the loudest crash of your life. I’m pretty sure you would be shaken. However, what if the crash didn’t stop? Two women, allegedly vying for the same parking space, got into their feelings and decided to play demolition derby with their vehicles in broad daylight. These women were obviously out of their minds, both refusing to let each other pass by, and began smashing their cars into each other. It might be sad to say, but neither of them got the parking space.

Source: TheRichest