#he's a survey corp member who's really anxious

[cheezyharu]

Pokeddexy 2023 | day 26: Fave Starter

recently realized that Legends: Arceus is officially 1 year old now, I feel old :')

[shmothman]

This fic contains major spoilers for Pokemon: Legends Arceus

(Volo/Reader, We Can Fix Him)

Judgement | Forgiveness

Part Nine

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight

AO3 Link

(I keep thinking that I need to start formatting these better, like. make myself some cover art or something. a little graphic. maybe next time lmao)

As the next few weeks crawl by, you busy yourself with a lot of building. You build a bedframe, raised off the floor, so that Volo can get up without relying so much on his leg. You build a stove out of stone, carved out of the side of the mountain by your Kleavor, and you build a vent around its outlet for the smoke. You weave together mats of sootfoot root leaves and tie them to the roof of the hut, more and more layers of insulation against the cold. Volo’s pokemon help you, along with your own, and although you’re by no means in the Construction Corps, you don’t think the hut looks half bad by the time you’re done with it—in fact, you’re rather proud. And after all of that, once you’re sure Volo will be alright without you for a day, you return to Jubilife.

It isn’t unheard of for Survey Corps members to camp out for up to a week or two at a time, and you’ve been doing enough battling out in the frozen tundra to fill up pages of your pokedex—enough to avoid suspicion, anyway, as Laventon is plenty impressed... even if he doesn’t know you’ve mostly just filled the entries on Volo’s pokemon. You have plenty of time to stock up on food and warm clothing before you head back to the Avalanche Slopes, even if most of that time is spent catching up with Cyllene, Kamado, and the residents of the Village who wondered where you went after that Togekiss came to find you.

It makes you nervous, to lie to them, even if only vaguely—telling them that you spent time helping Togekiss’s injured friend—but you’ll do what you have to in order to help Volo.

And you try very hard not to worry about Volo as you sleep in your own bed for the first time in three weeks. His pokemon can handle anything he needs. They love him, and you trust them to take care of him.

And when you wave goodbye to your friends in the morning, vowing to see them again in a couple more weeks—you have a big pokedex to fill—you only feel a small pang of regret at leaving them.

You’re mostly just anxious to return to Volo’s side.

---

Volo has taken to his crutches well—or, at least, as well as he can around his fractured ribs—and he can manage his way around the hut and outside just fine; if only for limited periods of time. Although he’s still in some rib-related pain, his side has healed, and he no longer needs his bandages. Now, it’s only a matter of time until his ribs and leg are healed enough for him to be on his feet. 

At least he’s well enough to help you chop vegetables at dinner. Or, rather, to sip his tea and keep you company while you chop the vegetables.

And, in the past few weeks he’s gotten a bit more talkative. He’s still more somber than he used to be, but given the circumstances, you don’t really blame him.

Still, you’re the only person he has to talk to, and since you extended your olive branch of re-friendship, he seems to be taking you up on your offer.

What are friends for?

You had said it again, handing him a new coat and hat from the clothier, and he had seemed... if not happy, then at least hopeful. He still seems genuinely conflicted about allowing you to help him so much... but you think he’s coming to terms with things.

With where he is, and with where he has to go from here. 

Wherever that is.

You hesitate in your chopping. “...Volo?”

He looks at you from the seat beside the stove, made anxious by the caution in your tone. 

Maybe this isn’t something you should bring up right now, but... “Do you... have any ideas as to what you’re going to do, after this?”

His expression clouds. It’s obvious that he’s been trying his best not to think about it—and, with you around, it might have become easy to pretend he hasn’t been banished from every village and clan in Hisui. But he can’t stay in the Icelands forever, right? 

He can’t live such a lonely existence. 

As much as considering it sends a stabbing pain through your heart, wouldn’t it be best if he left Hisui altogether? 

“I... don’t know,” Volo says, eyes firmly locked on his cup of tea. 

You think of Cogita, and her Ancient Retreat. How long had she lived alone, waiting to pass on her knowledge of Hisui’s mythos, when the time was right?

“You probably think that I should leave Hisui, don’t you.” He doesn’t phrase it as a question... simply a sad fact.

You consider your words carefully. Aren’t you the one who so lately has come to dislike the word should? 

“It might be the easiest way to move forward, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the right way,” you say. 

That makes him look up, meeting your eyes briefly before returning to watching the steam rise from his cup. He sighs heavily. Wearily. 

“I don’t know much about where I come from, but... I do know that my ancestors lived here, in Hisui. I thought that, because of that...” he trails off, looking pained, and then he sighs again. “Hisui’s myths and legends are all I’ve had for so long now... I don’t think I could bring myself to leave. Even if not leaving means death.”

You know that traveling Hisui, researching every myth he could get his hands on, was the only thing that kept Volo going while he was in the Ginkgo Guild. And, even if his ultimate goal then was to find the plates at Giratina’s behest...

One of the pokeballs at your hip grows heavier. 

No wonder Volo and Giratina found each other. Both angry and betrayed, with no one who cared about them enough to help them find another path... angry enough to push away anyone who might try to help... until now, at least. Now they have you.

You stand, dumping all of the vegetables into the pot. “Volo?”

He looks at you, confused.

This might not be the right move. In fact, it might be the opposite of what could help Volo in this moment. But you can’t just not try.

“I left Giratina for a while, so it could travel Hisui by itself, but when I went back to Jubilife, it was waiting for me. It wanted to come see you. To see how you’re doing. And I think it wants to speak with you now.”

Volo’s jaw drops, and several emotions cross his face in quick succession; chief among them fear, and bitterness, and, possibly, hope. You know that he hasn’t seen Giratina since it trapped him in the Distortion World with it—and then it reappeared with you in tow, and dragged him back out.

For a moment, you fear that Volo is going to get angry with you. To refuse to see Giratina, who left him adrift in hell. It would be... rather understandable, all things considered. But after his shock fades, Volo only looks resigned.

“Okay,” he says, quietly, and allows you to help him up and outside of the hut.

At this point, you know Giratina well. It has spoken to you about many things: its past, its anger, the new perspective you’ve granted it... and although it is the stuff of legends, you feel in your heart that it is not lying to you. And you feel that it truly does want to help Volo, now. Even if it’s only to atone for its own attempted wrongdoings.

The moon is already high in the sky, the night only partly covered by clouds, allowing a few stars and constellations to wink through the cold and dark. When you call Giratina forth from its ball—its full frame over a dozen feet tall, towering over the two of you with its eldritch visage—it leans down to meet you, allowing you to pet its head as its spectral wings flare toward the sky. It growls deeply, and in your mind, you feel its message. Thank you.

You nod to it, and then to Volo, so small as he leans on his crutches in his new coat and hat, and you return inside to let them speak alone.

Giratina once asked Volo to help it tear God down from the heavens. It once bestowed upon him a shard of Arceus’s power, a promise of more to come, and encouraged Volo’s anger. It saw in him a way to enact revenge.

But then, Giratina met you. And whatever it is that the legendary pokemon has to say to Volo now, you trust them. Both of them.

As always, Arcanine sits by Volo’s bed. The hut has been much warmer since your upgrades, but the warmth of her fur is still welcome as you sit by her side.

She nudges your arm with her wet nose, letting out a quiet whine in the direction of the door. She’s worried about Volo.

“I know,” you say, scratching her beneath the chin. “But he’ll be okay. I think they both need this.”

She settles down with a whumpf, resting her head in your lap as you continue to pet her behind the ears.

And you continue to pet her.

And you continue to pet her.

---

It’s a long time before Volo comes back inside, limping ungracefully on his crutches, his eyes rimmed red from crying. 

In your mind, Giratina informs you that it will be back before morning, and you hear the beating of its giant, ghostly wings as it takes to the sky.

They must have had a rather emotional talk.

You aren’t sure what to say—if, indeed, there is anything to be said at all—so you help Volo out of his coat and into bed, setting a bowl of stew in his lap. He seems too tired to protest as you begin to comb through his hair, all messed up from wearing his hat all day, but you don’t give him the option to do it himself. He can do it, now, but you know it still hurts him. So once again, you undo his braid, comb through the flyaways, and redo it, tying it at the bottom with the new hair ribbon you got from Anthe. And if he’s sniffling a bit while you do it... well, you just pretend not to notice.

“You need to eat,” you say gently, finishing his hair.

He chokes on a small sob, and you can’t fight the urge to lay your hand on his shoulder, to rub soothing circles on his back. He shudders gently beneath your touch.

His voice is raw and quiet when he finally speaks. “I don’t... I don’t know what to do now.”

When you notice the tears slipping silently down his cheeks, you do what comes naturally. Very gently, and careful of his injured side, you wrap your arms around him from behind, pressing yourself to his back. And when he doesn’t pull away, you rest your cheek against him, too.

He sobs again, and his hands find yours wrapped around his middle.

For a while, Volo cries, and for a while, you hold him in your arms.

There will be no tearing Arceus down from the heavens, and there will be no subjugating its power. There will be no grand new universe, nor will there be an end to the myriad little sufferings that humans must go through in their lives. Volo knows this; and deep down, you think he’s always known this.

In the time since he called his past delusions ‘dreams,’ much has changed. He’s lost everything: his home, his path, and everyone he might have once called a friend... but he has the love and trust of his pokemon. And now, he has your friendship.

Or whatever it is that you share, with your heart beating far too loud against his back; but that’s neither here nor there.

With the gentlest squeeze, you remind him, “we can figure it out together.”

[nenithil]

About Hans and Shadis, and their insight on humanity(1)

Hans is often regarded as too pure and naive, or doesn't that understand human nature(comparing to Erwin or Armin), has unrealistic illusions about human beings and over-idealized.She even rejects selfish desires, this impression particularly comes from C71, when she scolded Shadis: To give up the individual and dedicate the heart to the public, it's like that,isn't it?

It's a very powerful scene. At first glance, I also feel a kind of frightening moral cleanliness from their words, but combined with other plots, I don't think so.

On the contrary, I began to think that her eyesight and response to people's mind are very sharp. She has usually appeared very joyful, it's not because she is naive or only looked at the good aspects of the world, or really had a very happy life,but because she focused on objective work and generally would not be distracted from those kinds of nonsense.

There are many descriptions of this kind of things in smartpass. For example: In  "crimes inside the wall", Levi mentioned that the Survey Corps often cooperates with some members from aristocracy in gray areas for financial needs: "There are not a few rich men who make use of criminals... For example, smuggling or assassinating opponents in trade. They are too professional to be tracked. Even if they are unluckily caught, they could just deny that they knew it. Before, there are some just  soldiers who tracked them down. Finally, they found that the behind the scenes was actually the sponsor of the corps. Similar events emerge one after another." Eren was very angry when he heard this, which made Levi even wonder if he said too much to youngsters. He went back to discuss it with Hans. Hans replied: "If it's something you will know sooner or later, it doesn't matter whenever you say it." "Teaching new people what's reality is an important task for senior superiors! I don't think you did anything wrong, Levi."

And in smartpass about Eren: When she first met ERen, she performed  psychological investigations on Eren, asked him about his dreams and made some comments, which showed that she at least knew psychology well. She even said to Eren: "Apart from the fact that you can shift into a titan, you seem to be an ordinary kid,  Eren." "I mean, at least, I don't feel some violent nature from you, like what they discussed in the court." It doesn't really matter whether Eren is an ordinary child, but Hans's words could greatly comfort Eren, who was regarded as a monster, anxious and self doubted at that time. What she said would make him feel closer to the Corps.  She made her comments on him on practical purposes, not to show her judgment.

This reminds me of her comfort to Mikasa in the Manga during "midnight sun". In order to prevent Mikasa from snatching injection,  she expressed her understanding and closeness to Mikasa's pain and told her, "but we have to move forward".

she accurately saw that Mikasa was not really that kind of people who only cared about the life of her own friends, totally disregarding for the lives of others,but was just unwilling to let it go for the moment. So she chose comfort rather than admonishment.

She don't need much cover up with her words, but always enter the truest part of the heart.

We can imagine  what will happen,if she criticized Mikasa for "only caring for personal desires and ignoring the interest of public"and asked Mikasa to" give up her personal feelings and devote yourself to mankind ",as any critics did in some forum. She can stop Mikasa  not only because of her kindness but also her wisdom.

In smartpass:Shelter from the Rain ：Hange&Jean，she also showed her interest and understand of 104: "At present, people who can make calm judgments are very valuable." Hange said this because she had come into contact with the "power" of Jean's contemporaries,and she knew that they could not be controlled merely by giving orders as a superior. "Armin is smart, and he's always been self-abase about his lack of strength... I think we have to get him on our side..."

There are a lot of details like this in smartpass. Even for Erwin, who is generally considered the most enigmatic, Hange offered a rather unique perspective in his  personal interview:

Hange： Charismatic, unshakeable faith, he would not mind sacrificing himself or others for the goal…well, he tries to maintain that kind of outer appearance. Hange: He might not be too happy if I say too much out loud. What I told you just now, it might be something that he shows to the public…however, even if you were to peel off that appearance, you still wouldn’t be able to see his true personality. That’s my personal opinion about it. H: Even so, he is someone that we can trust. If we leave the situation to Erwin he will evaluate it, and we therefore rely on the commander. If he wasn’t trustworthy, he would have been stabbed in the back. This is not something that is only limited to a commander though.

She haven't idealized Erwin so much, but regarded his appearance as  "shows to the public,"  she confessed her doubts about his true personality and haven't even overestimated his morality,or selflessness, as Levi did. She just said pragmatically that if he would make the right decisions, I would trust him

In her own interview, she said: Erwin’s active support of my research has been very helpful. And I’ve heard that he also has doubts about how this world was formed?

She thanked Erwin for his support and then without further comment, but she clearly caught the core desire of Erwin: doubts about how this world was formed

If regardless of smartpass, she also showed her sharpness towards humanity many times in the manga: C52 her threat to Sannes:

She accurately summarized the reasons that ordinary people would use to make excuses for doing evil.

This is also why she can quickly come up with a ferocious plan to deceive Sannes into confession. She knows their kind well

Similarly, in C60, when facing journalists who wrote false news and slandered their dead subordinates, she also showed tolerance for weakness of human, and performed her skill of getting closer to others.

She may have succeeded in persuading Fregel,who would rather live a miserable life, in similar way (the manga doesn't describe it in detail, and I doubt even Isayama doesn't know how to write.

She is regarded as an "over idealistic" commander, but she still said such words:

Her words have described Hizuru's intention to monopolize resources, which can only be inferred by herself. At the same time, she also speculated that countries regard eldia as a scapegoat to maintain their domestic unity. It shows that she has basic insight and understanding of politics. Particularly, if compared with Armin:

... well, I don't know why Isym wrote like this. Armin is  not like a naive kid to ask suchquestions. I regard it as a simple emotional vent. Here I can even understand why Eren showed such a disdainful face,Lmao

Hans obviously won't believe Mikasa's words, which are indeed too simple, but their kindness did give Hans some strength, or positive feelings, making her focus on what she can do - surveying and understanding the world, striving for friendship with others, rather than what can't be changed- all countries are selfish, they deceive citizens and don't mind doing harm to others in order to maintain their "rule".

PS: the plots that I like most about Mikasa in manga almost are with Hans. I'm happy to guess that Hans gets along well with individual having this kind of character (like Levi)

These are my views on this side of Hans. She can see and master the complex and dark side of people skillfully, although she still tends to look at the good side of them. She treats other as human-being with their own weakness and  uniqueness. She would not judge others without considering the specific situation

So about C71, I think what she said to Shadis was not because she is too naive, or being so strict with others to ask them to give up their personal desire, but because of the special relationship between them.

TBC..

[micheswife]

Confessions

MICHE ZACHARIAS X SHY CADET

Miche finally tells his crush he likes her. That's it

Miche watched her from Erwin’s office as she left the headquarters to enjoy a well-deserved break. The evening sun highlighted her brunette curls, stopping just below her delicate shoulders. It was a shame really, her hair used to touch her waist when she first joined. She was so incredibly shy and anxious back then, struggling to find her place among younger people that were much stronger than her. He remembered back when she declined the promotion for the sake of her happiness. It had been 3 years since y/n joined the survey corps at the age of 20. She was a late beginner, but her analytical skills, a fateful emotional meltdown and a background in research had soon gotten her a place under section commander Hange. Y/n was not good as a fighter, but she was observant, more than Erwin and Hange. Miche could not help but notice her, she was cute after all. She had flaws, just like everyone else, but the veteran soldier was drawn to her in particular. He couldn’t remember when he felt like that for the first time. Maybe it was when he saw her for the first time, clutching a soiled handwritten application and trying her hardest to put on a brave face. Who knows? Who cares? The important part was that he liked her, she did not know and he was not going to tell.

“What are you looking at Miche? “

“N-nothing, Erwin. Go on…”

Miche went back to focusing on the meeting. y/n had already disappeared in the next lane, so there was no point looking outside. The meeting would go on for hours, as usual, veterans had no holidays.

Meanwhile, y/n made herself comfortable near the quiet riverbank. It was one of the few attractions in the little land of Paradis, especially after the fall of Wall Maria. The serene river glowed red under the now darkening sun rays. Y/n had about 30 minutes to draw something, after which it would get too dark. Problem was, y/n had no idea what to draw. So she just sat there, wondering about her life. It seemed self-indulgent to refuse work only to get out and ponder about herself, but she needed it. The chaos inside the headquarters hardly did her any good. She wanted quiet and peace, but what she had right now was just pure loneliness. Y/n had friends, but nobody close or free enough to sit under the open night sky. So she sat all alone over the wall, the cold breeze ruffling her hair. If only there were someone to hold her.

“Bottomline, all of you must prepare your squads for next month’s expedition. We can’t afford to compromise manpower. Pay attention to the weak members, we need them to come back alive. You all are dismissed.”

Miche walked out of Erwin’s office and went straight to his room that he shared with Dieter, another squad leader. He felt tired, as though he knew what was about to come. A lot of action and a shit ton of casualties, not to forget all the rigorous training he was about to deliver on the cadets.

“What a long day..”

“Tomorrow’s going to be longer, Ness.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think you will make it through the expedition?”

Miche scrunched his nose at the odd yet totally reasonable question. Him and Dieter served the scout regiment since their teenage years, yet they never quite got used to the anxiety before impending doom. Against his overbearing stress, Miche gave him a positive answer hoping to lift his spirits.

“I will make it out alive, Ness. The most damage I will end up with is a lost limb, after which I will retire and live a peaceful life. Don’t worry.” Miche finished with his signature scoff, masking his true emotions. The shameless, pretentious display of cockiness was all worth the little chuckle from Ness, the most sociable, tender man among veterans.

They made their way to the dining hall after chit chatting and freshening up. Their tables had the usual serving of bread, soup and vegetables. His eyes scanned the place for the owner of those beautiful, crazy curls, y/n, she should have been back by now. He couldn’t see her anywhere. Usually it was so easy to spot her in her corner seat. Perhaps Hange assigned her some work, but he couldn’t risk revealing his crush by asking the overly-energetic squad leader. So he quietly finished his plate, feeling just a little hint of emptiness because he missed y/n.

“Nifa, find y/n and tell her I want her in the lab tomorrow at 6am sharp.” Mike overheard Hange speaking from a couple of tables away.

“Yes captain.” Nifa quickly finished her meal and left the dining hall and eventually the headquarters. Her face made it clear that she had done this several times now and Miche was not surprised. Y/n was often in her own head and stayed out for a long time. Miche just found it unusual for her to stay out this late. It was cold outside, no person in their right mind would stay out past 8pm. He wished he knew what was going on inside the girl’s head that made her personality so withdrawn, but he did not have the time. He needed to draft a schedule for this week’s training and tests for the cadets. Just the thought of sitting in an office doing paperwork with a candlelight flickering throughout the night made him feel calm. He was extremely skilled on the field, but he liked doing paperwork too. His studious side was something only his immediate squad and other veterans were familiar with. Sometimes he couldn’t help fantasizing about sharing his study with y/n. Aside from his feelings, y/n had the brains to draft a perfect test that tapped into all the necessary skills for the next expedition. After all, that was what she had been doing before joining the survey corps, albeit in a different field. Miche stopped in his tracks as an idea struck him. He felt dumb, so dumb. He had drafted so many tests, all by himself, fully knowing that there was someone that could probably do it better than him. Fully knowing that y/n had been a psychology student, and she had perfected the theory subjects after joining the survey corps. He turned around and approached Hange.

“Would you mind if I borrow one of your soldiers for a while?”

“That depends, Miche, who are you talking about?”

“Y/n, I need her help drafting the tests tonight. I think she can do a good job.”

“You are right.. I’ll let her know.”

“Tell her to be in my office by 9;30 tonight.”

Miche left for his office to begin work, he wanted to finish as much as he could before y/n showed up. Because work was not the only thing he was concerned about. He knew exactly what he was doing, it was dubious, but he needed to do it. It was funny how a few hours ago he thought he’d never confess his feelings, but later created an opportunity to do that exact thing. He couldn’t believe himself.

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It was 9;30 sharp, and Miche heard a soft knock on his office door.

“Come in, it’s unlocked, and take a seat before me.” He said without lifting his head.

Y/n made herself comfortable and glanced over three open books and a single page. Miche was writing down questions.

“Alright y/n, I need your help drafting the question papers for tomorrow’s tests. Of course, you will be exempted from actually taking the test as a reward.”

“Understood, sir”

“Good, now I want you to create 30 questions that combine the concepts of formations, weaponry and strategy. Make them difficult, and make sure to base it upon the last 5 expeditions.”

“Alright-”

“You have 2 hours to finish this.”

“Okay..” y/n walked over to the bookshelf and grabbed a heap of books. Miche raised his eyebrows in confusion,

“How are you going to refer to that many books and finish it within time?” Miche questioned her.

“I will, don’t worry.” y/n’s sudden confidence took him aback.

“Well good luck.”

Time flew by quickly as both of them were engrossed in their work, the only sounds coming from the candle and turning of pages. It wasn’t peaceful to be precise, y/n was turning pages with such aggression it made the section commander steal glances at her. She would flip through the pages and write down important points, constantly checking the time as she worked. Her handwriting got messier as time flew by and Miche couldn’t help but notice. He could tell that y/n totally had the plan to give those cadets a hard time. She had a weak, but cocky smirk the whole time, and Miche was just glad that he was not one of the people that would need to take the test. He knew that expression and aggressive handwriting very well. She always wore that smirk while writing exams, and everytime she came out on top. Miche knew she was overcompensating for her sub-par physique and iron-deficiency that interfered with her ODM skills, but that semblance of confidence on her face always turned him on. Her hair was still messed up, she struggled to keep that twisted fringe out of her face.

“Where’s the ruler?!” Y/n asked loudly, shaking Miche out of his trance.

“Wait…” He fished out a ruler from the clutter in his drawer and handed it to y/n.

“What are you drawing?”

“A wrong diagram of the latest formation.” Y/n replied curtly.

“I see.. Good.”

Miche was organizing his drawer after finishing his work when y/n handed him the tests. It was 11;30 sharp. The ink had somehow gotten between y/n’s fingers. Miche went through all seven pages of three extremely complicated tests and shot a glance at y/n, who looked like she was awaiting his praise. She was sitting with her back straight, wide eyed and messy hair. Miche chuckled, and y/n smiled. She knew she had done those cadets dirty with her questions.

“You have a naughty side, don’t you?” “Kitten” , was the term Miche refrained from using at the end.

Y/n nodded with a cheeky grin. The section commander squinted and got up from his chair, towering over her. A faint blush crept over her cheeks as she broke eye contact with him, staring down at her feet instead. Her delicate shoulders now looked tensed up under her transparent, embroidered shoulder shawl. The pile of paperwork didn’t allow him to notice her beautiful blush pink dress. She had embroidered little flowers to accentuate her figure all the way down to her hips.

“You look beautiful in that dress.” Miche blurted out, causing her to blush harder and breathe unevenly.

“Thank you, sir..”

“Look at me when you speak.”

“O-okay..” she slowly raised her head, still not wanting to make eye contact.

“I will be straight to the point y/n… I like you, not just as a comrade.”

“Understood.” y/n was taking quick, short breaths, causing the tall blonde to get on his knees. She had gone back to her timid mouse state and he could no longer read her.

“Are you scared right now?” Miche tried hard to not sound like a creep.

“No, I like you too!”

“That’s -” he began to speak but got cut off.

“More than a comrade, if you were wondering…” she trailed off shyly. Miche kept staring at her, dumbstruck at her honest confession. This whole time he had no idea about her feelings.

"When were you planning to tell me ..?" Miche asked, pulling a chair behind him. He was still leaning towards y/n with an expression of pure shock.

"I… Never planned on saying anything." Y/n's expression saddened as she looked at him with her doe eyes.

"I can understand.". he was telling the truth. The realisation that their confessions were a result of his impulsive decision dawned on him. He couldn't take his eyes off her form. She looked anxious, fondling with her pendant in one hand.

"Do you want to take this further?" Y/n asked with a shaky voice, and his answer was immediate.

"Yes."

She looked straight into his eyes and smiled.

"Can I kiss you?" The 35 year old man felt like a teenager trying to walk on eggshells. The woman before him giggled and nodded in approval, finally lifting her hand from the pendant. She was starting to settle down, although the butterflies in her stomach made it difficult. Miche was about to lean in when she stopped him and got up from her chair.

"I forgot to lock the door." She said naughtly.

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Okay, I really wanted to turn this into a smut, but I am too chicken. 🙈🥺

[halcyonstorm]

The Breeze from an Airplane

MAJOR SPOILER WARNINGS FOR CHAPTER 138/139 AOT MANGA

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: death, graphic images

Read on AO3

Pairing: Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoe

Summary: Levi never thought the day would come where he had to relive the one of the most tragic moments of his life. He had finally begun to recover from Hange Zoe's tragic, sacrificial death. Now, two men stand at his door."We found Commander Hange's body."

Words: 4955

Levi received the worst news that evening. It was an inconvenient time to bear bad news, around 7pm. That was the time for Levi’s tea. It was usually a time for him to relax and unwind, but not tonight. The kettle was whistling; the tea was finished brewing. Levi had come out of the study and into the kitchen to retrieve the boiling water. Then, there was a knock at the door. It was strange. Usually, no one would come this late at night to bother him. He assumed it would be Armin coming to check up on him. He usually wrote to him as to when he would be stopping by. He hobbled to the door, feeling more apprehensive than he probably should’ve felt. He looked through the peephole in the door. Two men were dressed in suits. One wore round glasses, the other none. They must’ve had the wrong house.

“Mr. Ackerman,” The one with the glasses called out, knocking loudly again. Levi groaned, opening the door.

“What do you want?” Levi said, leaning against the door for support and crossed his arms. He forgot to bring his cane. The one with no glasses held a manila folder under his arm. The one with glasses wore a frown on his face. Levi’s eyes darted between the two of the mens’ faces. 

“Mr. Ackerman. Good evening. We have some news for you.” The tone of his voice was neutral, as if they weren’t sure if it was good or bad news. His heart sank into his stomach, making him sick. What was it now? Haven’t I been through enough? 

“We found Commander Hange’s body.”

It felt like two strong hands were slowly and steadily ripping his heart apart, every muscle, every nerve, every artery and vein came apart, leaking blood into each individual body cavity. His body began to feel heavy, blood leaking and drowning his body to its maximum. He had finally, finally, began to recover from losing her. Now, he was back to square one. He was brought back to that day on Odiha.

-

“And that’s that. I’ll see you guys later,” Hange said firmly, turning around to walk away. She called out to Armin.

“Oh, right. Levi’s your subordinate now, so work him to the bone. Okay?” Armin and the other’s faces read horror. Hange began to walk away from the group. As her decision began to settle with her, she felt herself begin to panic. She walked a bit before finding Levi. She didn’t intend to find him. She was scared to face him. She was scared to go. She didn’t let that show to Armin and the others, of course. She allowed her forced neutral expression transition into a deep frown. She felt her heart ache in her chest, and adrenaline began to pulse through her veins. As Hange forced her legs towards Levi, he called out.

“Hey, four-eyes.” She swallowed, feeling a lump form in her throat. He hadn’t called her that since she became Commander. She walked up to him, her shoulders in line with his. Hange wasn’t sure if she could look him in the eye, for her resolve could’ve broken at any time. 

“You understand…” Hange began. He did understand, but he couldn’t accept what was doomed to happen, though. “It’s finally here. You know? ...It’s my turn.” Levi felt his heart ache. It seemed like all his senses shut down. The world had stopped around them. He wished to go back in time to the forest. Why couldn’t they have more time? Why did they have to meet in such unfortunate circumstances? It was pointless getting attached; He fell for Hange regardless, even though falling in love was suicide in the Survey Corps. Comrades, friends, and family died left and right. They were so close to freedom, to a peaceful life together that it physically pained him. He wished him and Hange forgot about the cruel world, even just for a little while. He was drowning in his pain at that time, but Hange helped him up to the surface. She was gentle when she sewed his face. Determined when she swam away with him to safety. Caring when she told him he didn’t need to get up. She protected him; this would be the third time he was saved by her. She was breaking his heart, well… whatever was left of it. He felt as if Hange herself shoved her hand into his chest, tearing his heart out. 

“I want to look as cool as I possibly can right now. So please let me go.”

He thought it was very like Hange to say something like that. She wanted to look cool. She was still, even at this treacherous moment, trying to make light of the situation. But Levi could tell Hange was petrified. He couldn’t hold her back. He knew he could’ve easily changed her mind or broken her resolve, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that. He knew she had to go. He knew this day would come... but never did he believe it’d be so soon. 

‘Please let me go.’ Those would haunt him for the restless nights to come.

He couldn’t think of what to say. He wanted to confess to her. To the person who has been by his side since day one. They have been there for each other no matter what. Levi fell for Hange every time he saw her. 

I love you, he wanted to say.

I need you, he wanted to say.

Please, don’t go, he wanted to say.

But that would’ve been selfish. He couldn’t be selfish now. He had to be strong for her.

He raised his left hand and formed a fist. He struck it against her chest. Against her heart. 

I dedicate my heart to you.

“Dedicate your heart,” He said, as strong as he could manage. He heard her breath hitch for a moment. Hange’s lips trembled. She knew what he meant. I love you, I need you. I dedicate my heart to you. Take my heart with you. Before her resolve was dissipated, she mustered up a laugh.

“Haha! That’s the first time I’ve heard you say that,” She said aloud. Her ODM gear zipped, and she was gone. There was a breeze that passed as she flew away. She took his heart with her. His chest was hollow. What she said was true: It’s the first time she heard him say it, but it’s also the first time he said it ever.

He had tried to reach Hange telepathically. She must’ve been too focused on the task at hand to respond. He saw her killing Colossal titans left and right as she flew through the sky. He was so proud of her. “You know I love you, right?” He told her as he hobbled onto the plane. “I will be forever in debt to you.” Deep down, he knew she heard him. 

The plane took off. Levi couldn’t bring himself to look out the window like his comrades. They were screaming Hange’s name, crying, wishing it didn’t have to end like this. He didn’t want to remember Hange as she died. He remembered her as the strong, intelligent, brave Commander she had always been. He remembered her gentle touch when she wrapped his hands. He squeezed his bandaged hands together, reminiscing of his Hange.

“See you, Hange. Keep watching us.”

-

Levi passively allowed the two men into his house and shut the door behind them. The two men sat down at his dining table. Levi used his cane to assist him to the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of his favorite evening tea. It steeped too long; however, and it had turned sour. His lips puckered, pouring out the tea into the sink. He walked to the table and sat down. He stared blankly into the white linen table cloth.

“It’s up to you, Mr. Ackerman, whether or not you’d like an open casket. The body isn’t in good shape, I’ll be honest with you.” The body. That’s all it was to them. Hange’s dead body. She is a person one minute, a body the next. The two men must’ve delivered this news a thousand times to other distraught family members. Their tone expressed no sympathy whatsoever. All they cared about was business. “We will escort you to the morgue so you can see for yourself.” The morgue. He forced himself to nod, even though agreeing to see her body was asking for torture. 

“If you choose, you’d have to hold the wake soon. The preservation chemicals can only hold for a few days before the body begins to --”

“I get it,” Levi interrupted with a shaky voice. He couldn’t let them finish that sentence. He would’ve broken down right there. He used his cane to push himself onto his two feet. “I’ll get Onyankapon.” He slowly hobbled into the back room where Onyankapon was. He was very torn up about Hange, too. Levi knew they were close. He was in his desk chair, reading. He saw Levi right as he entered, his presence altering the mood of the room from calm to anguish.

“Two men are here. They found Hange’s body,” Levi muttered, unable to make eye contact with his roommate. Onyankapon’s face turned sour and he stood up. “They’re gonna take us to see her.”

-

The ride to the morgue was quiet. Quiet was an understatement. It was mute, void of any sound. No one spoke. No one dared to put the music on in the vehicle. The streets were quiet. It was late in the evening when the bearers of bad news arrived at their place. It was cold. No one was walking about the town. The morgue, as it turns out, wasn’t far away. This made Levi shudder. Her body was so close to him in proximity. Her dead body.

They arrived at the morgue, Onyankapon got out of the vehicle first to help Levi. He submissively accepted his help following the two men inside. As they neared her room, Levi felt his heart begin to pump faster. He didn’t know what she would look like. How did she really die? Was she trampled? Burned alive? Both? He was starting to ask himself why he agreed to this. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t think he could handle seeing her again. Seeing her body again, after all this time had passed. He stopped dead in his tracks. The two men continued walking and reached the room, but Onyankapon stopped.

“Levi,” he said. He tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. “We should do this.” Levi could tell he was anxious too. That comforted him, in a strange way.

Levi kept telling his legs to move, and finally they listened. 

“The body was in bad shape when we found it. We were able to reconstruct what we can, but without knowing what she looked like prior to the incident, she may not look the same.” Reconstruct? Just how bad was it? One of the two men held the door open. Onyankapon allowed Levi to see her first. He wasn’t sure if that was a good idea or not once he walked into the room. Levi and the man with glasses entered the room. It was a shabby room with peeling grey wallpaper. The overhead light buzzed annoyingly. The room was very cold. In the center of the room was the body, covered with a light blue drape. At the foot of the bed, it read “Hange Zoe.” 

“Whenever you’re ready,” he said monotonously, holding the edge of the drape. Levi could always sense when Hange was around. She was right there, yet he couldn’t sense her presence. Levi took a deep, quivering inhale. He would never be ready, but he nodded anyways. It seemed like the man pulled the drape off her face in slow motion. He was shaking. Horrified of what could be. Once the drape was off, the man left the room, closing the door. Levi's eyes were fixated in the corner of the dim, grey room. He couldn’t bring himself to look at first. He didn’t want to look, but he wanted to look so bad. He wanted her to be alive.

It was worse. Much, much worse than he thought.

Now he knew what they meant by reconstruct. Her body was extremely flat. Her skull must’ve been crushed in, but whoever fixed her up must’ve reconstructed her skull so her face was somewhat normal again. The oxygen seemed to be sucked out of the room; He felt himself desperately gasping for air once he saw her face. His knees buckled underneath him, and he fell at the bedside, his head resting on the tops of his hands, hot tears gushing uncontrollably from his eyes. A strangled sound escaped from his lips. When he managed to look at her face through glassy eyes, he was taken aback. Right away he noticed her nose was different. From the side, it looked reconstructed to be turned-up, which did not suit Hange at all. It looked nothing like Hange, yet so much like her at the same time. Her skin was dark red and brown, charred from the steam of the colossal titans. It was dry and peeling around her eyes, nose, cheeks, and chin. There were multiple blisters scattered over her head and neck. Her eyes were closed, but her eyelashes and eyebrows were fried off. The hair on her head, the hair he loved so much, was thin, sparse, and ratty. Most of it had burnt off too. Her eyepatch must’ve been lost, exposing the scar tissue of her left eye. She must have suffered. No doubt about it. He hated the thought of her suffering. It made the tears flow harder. This was the woman he loved; Now a dead, lifeless corpse.

He moved the drape out of the way to look at her hands. They were burnt, too. Skin and muscle burnt, bones broken. He was almost positive every bone in Hange’s body was broken. Her body was frail. So still. It seemed so strange for her to be so still. It was so unlike her. Usually, she could never stay still. She was never quiet, always being the brightest and loudest in the room. He enjoyed it; it was strangely comforting. He never knew how much he loved it until it was gone. The humming of the overhead light fills the room. She was dead, and that was for certain.

“Hange,” He whimpered, looking in his lap. Tears wet his lap. “You weren’t able to stay out of the action after all.” He was so proud of his Commander. She sacrificed herself for him and their comrades without hesitation. She sacrificed her life for his. His life was worth so damn much to her that she would die for him. She did die for him. 

Levi wiped his eyes and cheeks with his shirt, causing his sleeve to dampen. He stood up. He gently placed his left fist against her broken chest. 

“My heart is yours.”

He was still bugged by how still Hange’s body was. He wanted to tell her to wake up. Join me. Live with me. Be with me. He allowed his selfish thoughts to take over for just a brief moment. Onyankapon knocked on then opened the door slowly, checking in on Levi. His eyes quickly jolted from Levi to the corpse on the table. Tears welled up in his eyes instantaneously as he rushed to the other side of her. 

“God, Hange,” He sighed, his voice shaking. “What happened to you…” He wasn’t able to drown himself in his feelings after she was left on the island. He had to man the plane. He had to shift the plane into motion and into the air, leaving his close friend behind to die. All the suppressed emotions came flowing out of him when he saw her burnt body.

After a few minutes passed, the two distraught men came out of the room.

“We decided on a closed casket,” Levi muttered. He couldn’t let the other’s see her like this.

“Okay. There is a funeral home just down the block which--”

“That’s fine.”

“Okay…” One of the men scowled. “How is two days from now?”

“That’s fine.”

One of the men smiled insincerely with a nod. “It’s settled. 5pm.”

-

Two days was more than enough time to contact the 104. Everyone was quick to accept the invite. Levi didn’t know if he could do it. If he could go through all this pain again. He had laid his suit out neatly on his bed. 

Today’s the day you are put to rest, Commander.

He picked up his white button-down, sliding his arms through the sleeve holes. He remembered how Hange used to get ready with him from time to time.

-

“Hange,” Levi called out, storming over to her. “Your shirt isn’t even buttoned right. I know you can barely see as it is but damn, I didn’t think your eyesight was this bad.”

He started to unbutton her top. He noticed Hange’s cheeks flush a bit. Once he got to the top, he began to button it correctly.

“Sorry. I am in a rush to get to a meeting,” she would say. 

Levi shook his head. “You can’t go like this.”

“What would I do without you?” Hange would say, laughing.

What would I do without you? he now asked himself.

-

His shirt was buttoned up to the top. He grabbed his cravat, tucking it into his collar. He sat down to put his trousers on. He took a deep breath. Putting pants on was always a struggle each morning. His legs barely worked on their own anymore. Onyankapon suggested a wheelchair, maybe he should finally submit to the offer.

He leaned down to put his socks and dress shoes on. For the most part, the only time he wore a suit was to funerals or memorials. He disliked the suit, but now he hated it. He hated the reason he had to wear it. 

He went to grab his suit jacket when he paused. He turned to his closet, deciding to wear the black jacket him and Hange shared. She had worn it last. He had tried not to wear it so the scent wouldn’t dissipate. He held it to his face, taking a sentimental whiff of her scent. It smelt of fresh soil and a hint of sweat. There was a special scent he couldn’t quite place, but it was Hange’s signature scent. Maybe it was the detergent she used or the soap she used (or didn’t use) in the shower, but it was her. He hadn’t smelt the jacket since she died, but he couldn’t help himself anymore. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he felt as if he could sob right then and there. He slid the jacket on him, the jacket being slightly too big for him but he didn’t care. He put his thumb and fingers to the lateral part of his eyes, squeezing inward. He silently sobbed. He was allowed to; no one was around. 

After a few moments passed, he took a sharp inhale and closed his eyes slowly. He was starting to question why he had agreed to hold a funeral for her. It was for them, the 104. He patted his eyes with a tissue, took another deep breath, and then went to the living room. Onyankapon was shuffling through a box.

“Ready?” He asked. Levi nodded.

“What’s with the box?” Levi asked, turning the door knob and opening the door.

“Some of Hange-san’s belongings from the accident. Those two men dropped this off last night.”

“I see.”

He decided he shouldn’t go through it now. He would get too worked up. Besides, her clothes were probably burnt and unsalvageable anyways. Onyankapon popped open a wheelchair, gesturing for Levi to sit down. Levi could barely walk, let alone stand, anymore. He hobbled over and slowly sat down, groaning slightly. Onyankapon wheeled him outside, shutting the door. Outside were the same two men, ready to escort Levi and Onyankopon to the funeral home. They were standing in front of a long, black limousine. One of the back doors was opened. As he was wheeled to the car, Levi glanced to his left and saw the hearse. It was black and had small, purple, velvet curtains behind the windows. She was in there. Levi couldn’t look away even though he wanted to. Levi felt tears start to pool in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. He stood up, getting into the black vehicle. Onyankapon folded up the wheelchair and got in beside him.

Like the ride a few days ago, no one spoke. It was mute. Levi’s stomach churned each time he thought about having to see the 104 again, talking about their lost Commander. Within 10 minutes, they arrived at the funeral home. There were a ton of people standing outside the funeral home, chatting amongst themselves and waiting to get inside. Levi stopped frowning. All these people were here to see Hange. It made his heart swell. The car stopped and was parked. The man with the glasses opened the door on Levi’s side, helping him out. The wheelchair was already propped open for him. Levi sat and he was wheeled to Onyankapon. He saw familiar faces: Mikasa, Armin, Gabi, Falco, Jean, Connie, Annie, Reiner… These people really cared about her, he thought. His stomach wasn’t hurting anymore. 

Onyankapon and Levi were allowed into the funeral home first with the two men. It reeked of stale flowers. There was a beautiful gold chandelier hanging from the ceiling in the entryway that glistened when the sun shone on it. The carpet had a red and burgundy checkered pattern. He stared at it as he was pushed to Hange’s service room. They finally arrived. There were rows and rows of metal chairs lined up, facing right, to the casket. Casket. That word right there almost made Levi lose it. There were beautiful flowers of all colors surrounding the casket. Yellow, red, pink, purple. Hange loved flowers, especially bright ones. It was very fitting. The casket was a rich dark mahogany color with a thick golden railing on either side. It was tragically beautiful. There was a small red velvet cushion on the floor in front of the casket for people to pray. There was a black and white banner that hung above the casket. “14th Commander of the Survey Corps,” It said in small text towards the top. “Hange Zoe,” it said in big text underneath. Levi admired it for a while. He was curious who set all this up. Could it have been Onyankapon? The 104? He made a mental note to find out and thank them. Levi was facing the casket now. Levi pushed off the armrests and kneeled on the semi-hard cushion. Onyankapon kneeled next to him. Levi wasn’t one to pray, but figured now may be a good time to start. He laced his fingers together, pressing his forehead against his thumbs and closed his eyes.

Dear Hange, thank you for saving my shitty life. Thank you for all you’ve done for me. I am so proud of you... I miss you every day. Are you still watching me? At that moment, someone must’ve opened a window because he felt a gentle breeze pass by him, caressing his face as it wooshed by. This caused Levi to open his eyes and look behind him. There was one big window, but it was locked shut. Levi took a deep breath, smiling. Rest easy, four-eyes.

He pushed himself to stand, then sitting back in the wheelchair. Onyankapon finished his prayer, a tear streaming down his face. The two men recognized they were done and allowed the rest of the visitors inside. The doors to her room opened, people started flooding in. Levi took this time to wheel himself over to the brown cork board that hung on the left side of the room. It contained photos of Hange. For the most part, he recognized the photos. There was one in specific he never saw before though, and it wasn’t on the board either. It was a large portrait of Hange in a dark wood frame that sat on an easel. He admired this photo the longest. It must’ve been painted of her when she had just become Commander. She had her beautiful chestnut hair up in her typical ponytail (which was neater than usual), her black eyepatch on, her thin oval glasses sat on the bridge of her nose, and she wore her olive green Survey Corps jacket. She wore the oval green stone around her neck, which sat at the top of her chest. There was a hint of a smile in the photo, even though the painter insisted she kept a straight face. Hange persuaded him to make her smile in the portrait, though. Levi thought she looked breathtaking. 

He felt a hand gently touch his shoulder. He tensed slightly, turning around. He saw Armin and Annie together. They were both dressed well and teary-eyed. 

“It’s good to see you Levi. We are sorry for your loss,” Armin said, shaking Levi’s hand and placing his other hand on top of his. Afterwards, Armin stuck a hand in his pocket. 

“You, too. Thanks,” Levi replied.

“Hange-san handed me this after she made her decision to stay behind,” Armin explained, handing Levi an envelope which was folded in half. “It was addressed to you.” Levi took it from the new Commander, turning it to see the envelope addressed to “Levi” in Hange’s handwriting.

“Thank you, Armin,” Levi nodded at him. 

“What do you think of the flowers?” Annie asked, sitting down in the front row of metal chairs. Levi looked towards the flowers again.

“Hange would’ve loved them,” he replied. Annie smiled sadly. “She would have.”

Mikasa came up behind Armin, giving a small wave to Levi. Armin stepped out of the way, allowing Mikasa to pass. She took both his hands into hers, looking into his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Levi,” She whimpered, her eyes tearing up. She felt at fault for Hange’s death. She thought maybe she could’ve saved her, but didn’t. The truth is, Levi didn’t blame anyone specifically for her death. “If you need anything, I’m here for you.” Deep down, he knew usually no one actually reached out for help from others. He appreciated the offer, though.

“Thank you, Mikasa,” he replied. 

As the lot of people passed by to visit Hange, Levi grew sick of the apologies. He appreciated them, but he couldn’t bear seeing everyone’s sad faces anymore. It made him feel worse. He told Onyankapon he was going outside for some air. The stale flower stench was starting to sink into his clothes and skin. He wheeled himself out of the room, down the hall, and through the doors. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, shining beautiful shades of pink and red throughout the city. He took the envelope out of his pocket, slowly but surely unfolding the letter. He began to read.

Dear Levi,

You will receive this for one of two reasons: one, I am dead; or two, I worked up the courage to personally hand it to you. I hope it’s the latter. I know I am being selfish when I say this, but I wish we stayed in the forest together a little while longer. I began to write this after that day.Currently, you are asleep in the carriage I built. I stopped to make dinner for us. I barely had time, but I had to get my thoughts in writing. 

I think I am going to die soon. So, I had to tell you how I felt before I go. I know my time is coming up very fast, and I am not afraid to die. That is what we signed up for when we joined the Survey Corps, after all. What is bothering me is when. I wish it’d be peaceful in a warm, comfortable bed. I doubt that, though. If it’s true, maybe we would be living together. Isn’t it true that if you live with someone for a long time, you’re considered married by common law? I wouldn’t mind being married to you, Levi. I wouldn’t mind waking up every morning and you’re nearby. I wouldn’t mind spending every day with you. We could explore the world together. Leave these walls in the past and be free, together. I can study vegetation, you can open the tea shop you’ve always dreamt about. Maybe I’d discover new plants and food for us to try. Or maybe I’d work to create inventions. Maybe I’d create a new type of food or plant. Maybe I’d invent a more efficient flying boat. Well… whatever I do, I hope it’s with you. Even if I am gone when you read this, live your life. Explore the world. I’ll be right by your side. I promise.

Always yours, 

Hange Zoe

Levi held the letter close to his heart. His heart was throbbing and felt like it would burst out of his chest. Tears were flowing uncontrollably down his cheeks and into his lap. He folded up the letter, careful not to rip it. He slid it into the envelope, sticking it in the inside pocket of his, their, jacket. He looked up to the beautiful pink sky and saw a flying boat pass by, buzzing in the air.

I’ll be right by your side. I promise.

[xxdragonwriterxx]

Pls do a pt.2 of cuddle bug. I need more where they get delayed and Levi has to share his tent for another night or two. Pls at least consider it, the end of cuddle bug gave me big boy 🦋🦋🦋

A/N: You know, I never really considered a sequel for this story but once you mentioned it, I got really excited about it! I loved writing that story so it’s always really fun to hear people say they enjoyed it. Thank you for requesting, I hope this is what you were looking for! (Also, ur comment inspired the title).

🐉 Song Recommendation: “Liar” By: Arcadian Wild 🐉

~~~

🔥 Butterflies Caught Up In The Storm 🔥

(Y/N) felt it before she saw it. She felt the wind pick up from a light breeze to an insistent gale. She saw the clouds rolling and colliding in the sky, darkening and growling. She heard the rush of wings as flocks of birds shot into the air and flew away from the trees, which were starting to rustle with the increasing wind. It was clear and bright out, a beautifully crisp autumn afternoon, but (Y/N) knew what was coming. Her horse seemed to agree, the chestnut mare’s flared nostrils and wide eyes telling (Y/N) she could sense it too. Giving the mare a soothing pat on the neck, (Y/N) carefully tugged her forward, trying to convince the beast to graze before the storm hit.

“You’re having trouble too?” A familiar feminine voice asked, catching (Y/N)’s attention.

“Yeah,” (Y/N) said, smiling at Petra, who had wandered over with her own bay gelding. “Phoenix won’t eat with this storm brewing, she’s too stressed. I’m trying to calm her down but she’s not having any of it.”

Petra nodded grimly, “Tyson is the same way. He won’t stop pacing.”

“It must be a bad one this time,” (Y/N) said quietly, reaching up to stroke Phoenix’s fur, “She doesn’t normally fear storms like this.”

“Yeah, I’m worried about our tents being blown away.”

“Me too…” (Y/N) murmured. “I’m guessing none of us are going to get any sleep tonight.”

Petra groaned and led Tyson in a small circle, trying to keep the normally level-headed gelding from pacing.

“Yeah, I know,” (Y/N) sighed. “I was really hoping to get some rest, it’s been a long day.”

(Y/N) normally didn’t have a problem with storms. In fact, she had a certain soft spot for them. She loved how dark it got, the clouds creating a gloomy yet comforting blanket over the land. She loved the sound of the rain as it pounded on the windows, the crack of the thunder as lightning struck the sky; a glowing sword slaying some mighty beast. She loved the wind and how it would howl it’s lonely song, crying out for a lover that would never respond. Despite the chaos it presented, storms always tended to soothe (Y/N), making her want to cuddle up with some warm tea or hot chocolate and a book. It made her want to burrow under a blanket and listen to the roaring outside her window as the storm lashed at the stone walls of the Survey Corps castle. But she wasn’t in her room with a warm blanket and a good book. She wasn’t protected by the solid stone walls of the Survey Corps headquarters or given warmth by the roaring fireplace she had across from her bed. She was outside of the walls, in the middle of nowhere with a skittish horse and nothing but a flaxen tent to keep her safe. The only benefit of  the storm was that the titans seemed to have scattered in the wake of the approaching darkness, finding some other place to settle down for the early onset night.

“Hey, at least we won’t have to sleep alone tonight,” Petra said, trying to lighten the mood. “At least we will be paired again since we lost that supply wagon to the titans, maybe it’ll feel better to experience the storm with another person. It might be comforting.”

Petra had a point, but her words also brought a twinge of anxiety to (Y/N)’s gut. Captain Levi hadn’t seemed upset with her when she had cuddled up to him by accident the last time they shared a tent, quite the opposite really, laughing and teasing her. But it didn’t stop the thoughts from filling her head, making her overthink the situation. He had found it amusing the first time because it had been unexpected and she had been so flustered in the morning when she had woken up to find him sprawled underneath her, but what would he think if she did it a second time? Would he be annoyed? She was half expecting him to reassign her to sleep beside Eld or Gunther at this point. She wondered if he would even be compelled to make Petra and Oulo sleep in separate tents despite their relationship, just so he could make (Y/N) sleep with Petra instead.

It made her flush with guilt and embarrassment at the thought. The last thing she wanted to do was make Levi uncomfortable around her, but she had invaded his personal space in a way she was sure nobody else had ever done before. It was only natural that he would distance himself from her.

(Y/N) shook her head, chasing the negative thoughts away, deciding to worry about that later. “Yeah, at least we won’t be alone. Maybe that’ll make it easier if the tents try to blow away, there can be two people to hold each one down instead of one person trying not to get carried off by the storm.”

Petra chuckled and led Tyson in another circle. 

“Speaking of sharing tents,” She said, her eyes glimmering, “How was it sharing a bed with the Captain?”

(Y/N) froze a bit. Memories of that night came flashing back, making her blush as she remembered the feeling of his solid chest pressed beneath her, his warm breath fanning out over her neck, and his soft silver eyes gleaming at her as he fought the urge to laugh at her flushed face.

“Oooooh,” Petra said, her smile widening as she noted (Y/N)’s pink cheeks. “Why are you so flustered all of a sudden? Did something happen? Did you two finally fu-”

“NO, NO,” (Y/N) shouted quickly, waving her hands in front of her face. “No, nothing like that. It was just kind of embarrassing sleeping next to him. I mean, he’s the Captain! It just felt weird as his subordinate to be in the same bed as him with nothing but our pajamas on.”

Petra nodded but the shit-eating grin on her face didn’t disappear. (Y/N) leaned over and flicked her friend on the forehead, giggling when the ginger hissed at her with a glare.

“What was that for?”

“You know what it was for.”

“That was mean, (Y/N).”

“Well, you shouldn’t have been thinking about Levi and I in that tent, especially since I told you nothing happened.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I would never do such a thing.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes at Petra’s teasing but couldn’t keep the warm smile off her lips as the two laughed together. She had to hand it to the sweet ginger, she had at least helped decrease her stress and pull (Y/N) from her own head. Even the horses had sensed the shift in their riders and had calmed down somewhat, Phoenix leaning down to take a few nibbles of the grass at her feet before she raised her head again, her ears rotating as she listened for any sign of danger.

“(L/N)! Ral! We are setting up the tents. Put the horses away and get over here now!”

Both women stopped laughing immediately and moved to tie the horses to a nearby tree, making sure to loop the ropes into loose knots so the horses could escape if they really needed to without injuring themselves. As soon as the animals were secure, (Y/N) shoved her anxiety away, and the pair made their way over to the rest of their squad.

__________________________

Levi cursed as he glanced at the darkened clouds, the sky now an inky black as the storm covered the setting sun. A light rain had started since the tents had been erected, but Levi knew the worst was yet to come. He watched as the squad moved around, tying down the last of the supplies and attending to any last minute necessities while the rain was still light and misty.

Without his permission, Levi’s eyes automatically found (Y/N) amongst his squad members, watching as she moved quickly around the camp, calming the horses and covering the wagons with the tarp they always brought on missions for exactly this reason. She was so graceful when she was focused, her movements lithe and quick. He knew she tended to be a bit of a clutz when she was just performing mundane tasks back at headquarters, but it didn’t take away from the obvious control she had over her body as she maneuvered around each of her comrades, helping where she could and confirming that everything was accounted for just as Levi had asked of her.

Snapping out of it, Levi quickly averted his gaze and cursed again, this time in anger at himself. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He had had a crush on (Y/N) for ages and yet it had never affected him like this before. He felt like he was flailing, like he lacked control for the first time since he was a small child. It scared him, made him embarrassed and anxious. He had an idea of what this was, but it didn’t make it any easier to digest.

He knew he had been an asshole lately, knew she was confused and hurt. When he had first woken up to find her sprawled over him, he had been overwhelmed with emotions that had pushed him over the edge, leading him to finally act on his hidden desires somewhat. He had allowed himself to laugh and smile, had allowed himself to get close to her, brush his lips along her ear, and compliment her. He had enjoyed it, letting go a little, letting himself finally show her how he felt about her. But then reality had slapped him across the face. She was his subordinate, and while it wasn’t forbidden, it wasn’t ideal. He just knew it would interfere with his focus on the battlefield, and he couldn’t afford the distraction. On the other hand, he didn’t even know if she liked him back. She had cuddled up to him in her sleep, but she had admitted to him herself that she does that to anything she sleeps with. Her pillow, a blanket, a stuffed animal, a person, it didn’t matter, she would cling to it. So what made him special? How did her cuddling him give him any indication of her feelings?

It didn’t. It didn’t mean anything. She wasn’t cuddling up to him because she found comfort in him, she did it because it was normal for her. Any other man would’ve done just as well, possibly even better in holding her close that night. The thought of another man cuddled up with (Y/N) made his blood boil and his teeth clench so hard they hurt, but he couldn’t force his feelings on her just because of one incident. Especially if she didn’t feel  the same way. It just wasn’t meant to be, no matter how much he wanted it. So he had settled for loving her from afar, pushing her away and keeping her at a distance, just like he did with everyone around him. He was determined to stick to his promise of keeping people at arm’s length, guarding his heart  through thick and thin in the event that someone he cares about gets ripped away from him again. He had lost way too many people in his life, he was not about to experience the pain of losing  (Y/N) too.

He could tell his cold behavior confused her, but he kept it up, hid behind his mask no matter how much his heart cried when he saw her hurt expression. It was for her and for him, better for everyone involved if he just ignored the pulling of his heartstrings and continued their relationship as it should be, as Captain and cadet.

“Captain.”

Levi was snapped out of his reverie by the voice of none other than (Y/N), her eyes hooded as she looked at him.

“Everything is stable and prepared for the storm, sir.”

“Good, you are dismissed.”

(Y/N) saluted him and spun on her heel, not looking back as she made her way to their tent to change and prepare for bed. Levi’s gut twisted. He hated that look in her eyes. So far, she had treated him with nothing but respect ever since he had begun ignoring her, but he never missed that look in her eyes, the confusion and disappointment in her gaze. The feeling of wanting to be sick all over the stones of the cliff edge where they had set up camp increased tenfold when he thought about having to spend the night with her once again. The thought of having to experience the tension of laying beside her all night. He wondered if she’d even cuddle up to him again, if her body would reject him even in sleep despite her habit.

Levi sighed and ran a hand through his slick raven locks, rain droplets landing on his cheeks as they dripped from his fringe. He knew he just had to act like an adult and go in there with her, but it was an effort to fight the feeling of nausea in his gut as he made his way over to the tent they were sharing. As soon as he slipped in through the flaps and zipped them closed, the loud roar of thunder rolled over them quickly followed by the intensifying of the rain, turning from the soft taps of droplets to the pelting of bullets.

(Y/N) was facing away from him when he entered, neatly folding her uniform and placing it off to the side while she waited for him to change. Levi undressed quickly and followed her example, placing his clothes beside hers as she settled on the cot, pulling the blankets up to her neck. Neither of them spoke a word, but the urge to spill everything that was on the edge of their tongues plagued both of them. Levi finished his nightly regimen before carefully slipping under the blanket beside (Y/N), blowing out the lantern and making sure to turn away from her so she wouldn’t feel as uncomfortable.

(Y/N) grit her teeth when she felt him turn away from her. Was she really that bothersome? Had her cuddling him really made him that upset? She knew she had no right to judge him, it was his boundaries she had crossed, but that didn’t stop the tidal wave of sadness and disappointment that rose in her chest. She had been hoping they could move past this, that he would give her the chance to apologize and they could go back to the way things were between them, but obviously he was in no hurry to speak to her ever again, if his behavior towards her was any indication.

(Y/N) closed her eyes and tried to let the sounds of the storm outside soothe her, snuggling deeper under the blankets as the rain slapped the tent’s walls, trying to drown out her thoughts and emotions with the sound of the rolling thunder that rumbled and barked overhead.

(Y/N) was nearly asleep, her brain finally quieting down for the night when she heard it. She thought for a minute she had imagined the noise, but after another moment of patiently listening, she heard it again, the sound of a deep groan coming from the Captain. (Y/N) froze, her eyes wide as she waited. She had no idea what was happening, but she knew for a fact it couldn’t be good. The noise sounded high-pitched, desperate, strained, as if the Captain were in pain. (Y/N) turned slightly and opened her mouth to say something when a bolt of lightning dashed across the sky, flashing the tent with a bright white light. (Y/N)’s eyes widened and she had to fight to keep her jaw from dropping when she suddenly realized just how uncomfortable he was.

 Levi was shaking.

What had she done? Thunder crashed as horror seeped into (Y/N)’s bones. She felt his shaking increase, the subtle vibrations making the cot twitch and shift beneath them. How could she have done this to him? What she had believed to be a mild annoyance to her Captain seemed to be much worse than that. At first, she wondered why he didn’t tell her about his discomfort with touch, or why he didn’t have her reassigned, but she quickly shoved those questions aside. Of course he didn’t tell her or reassign her, he was the Captain of their squad, the goddamn Humanity’s Strongest. Of course he would put his pride and reputation before his fears. It was his job to appear unfazed no matter what he was faced with.

And besides, even if it wasn’t his job to keep silent about his personal issues to his  subordinates, (Y/N) had a hard time seeing Levi admit to having a phobia of touch. He always  kept that mask placed securely over his emotions and expressions, it was no surprise that he would hide this as well.

The fact that she hadn’t known didn’t stop the feelings of dread and guilt from dragging her stomach to her feet and choking her heart with a chain. She felt the tears well up behind her eyes, and didn’t try to stop them when they spilled over her lids and cut wet paths down her cheeks. She felt sick. She wanted to apologize, but she didn’t know how. She was used to comforting people with physical affection and gentle soothing gestures rather than using her words. Every muscle in her body screamed at her to wrap her arms around him, to stroke his hair and rub soothing circles into his back, but she forced herself to hold back. She had clearly caused enough damage already.

Making up her mind, (Y/N) decided that the best option was to leave. She knew there was very little she could say or do to make up for what had happened, and she refused to keep him awake with the fear of her touching him again. The last thing she wanted to do was be away from him, especially when he seemed so vulnerable, but she wasn’t going to let herself cause unnecessary tension within the squad because she decided to be selfish. They needed their Captain in top shape, and it was clear that wasn’t going to happen with her in the same room. Quietly gathering her blanket and her cape, (Y/N) slowly stood and crept towards the exit flaps of their tent. She cringed at the thought of being sandwiched with the Oulo and Petra, but she knew the couple wouldn’t deny her entry despite wanting to enjoy their alone time together, and figured that would be the best place for her to stay for the rest of the night. Taking a deep breath to prepare for the onslaught of cold water she was about to get blasted with, (Y/N) curled her  fingers around the edges of the flaps and started to undo each loop keeping them closed.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Levi’s cold voice, despite being a bit shaky, made (Y/N) freeze in her tracks. She had known he was awake, but she hadn’t expected him to protest.

“Um, I’m going to Petra’s tent, sir.”

Levi furrowed his brows, his jaw clenched, “Why?”

“Because I was making you uncomfortable, sir.”

“What are you talking about?”

The last thing (Y/N) wanted to do was embarrass him further, but she figured now wasn’t the time to beat around the bush.

“You were shaking, sir.”

(Y/N) saw the realization quickly flash across Levi’s features before he scowled angrily, leaning back with an arm over his face, “Fuck…”

He hadn’t known that she could feel it. He had been trying so damn hard to hide it, especially after those little groans had escaped him without warning. The knowledge that she was here to see him in such a vulnerable state tossed his heart around like a butterfly in a storm, a confusing blend of intense embarrassment and soothing comfort flooding through his veins.

“I wish you had told me sooner,” (Y/N) said, causing Levi to lift his arm so he could look at her properly. “I know why you didn’t, but if you had, I never would’ve tried to stay with you for another night. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, and the last thing I want is for you to think you have to avoid me because I didn’t respect your boundaries. I am s-so sorry…”

(Y/N) broke off, swallowing the tears that bubbled in the back of her throat. She wasn’t the victim here, she wanted to appear sincere and apologetic but she didn’t want to make him feel guilty for his reaction to everything that had happened between them. She just wanted to make him feel better and pretend like this whole incident had never happened.

“I-I’m sorry, I’ll leave now. I hope you’re able to get some rest tonight, Captain-”

“(Y/N).”

The way he said her name, in a tone that sounded desperate and strained, made her close her mouth and meet his gaze.

“Come back to bed.”

She hesitated at first, but quickly found the confidence to move towards him when he pinned her with a dark glare. Moving back to her spot, (Y/N) placed her cape with the rest of her  uniform and brought the blanket back over her body, laying down on the spot furthest from Levi.

(Y/N) let out a loud gasp when Levi suddenly reached over and wrapped his arms around her before she could react, yanking her away from the edge of the cot and pulling her into his  chest. (Y/N) quickly tried to push away from him, but he held her steady against him, his arms refusing to loosen until she gave up on escaping.

“Listen here, brat,” Levi said, his voice surprisingly clear, “It’s not you. I’m not afraid to be held by you. I know I’ve been an asshole lately, but I was worried about letting myself get close to you only to lose you. I’ve lost so many. The last person I want to be caught up in everything is you. I c-care about you, and I just can’t stand the pain of watching you die.”

(Y/N) teared up at his impassioned confession, her fingers clenching in the fabric of her pajama top. Her heart was pounding against her rib cage as if it was trying to bust out, its drumming song throbbing throughout her entire body.

“But, you were shaking, and facing away from me, and fidgeting around,” (Y/N) said quietly.

Levi tensed but took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax again.

“That wasn’t because of you, brat.”

She tilted her head in confusion. He knew she wanted more details than that, but he was finding it difficult to put everything into words. He was just about ready to blurt it out to her, rip off the bandaid quickly, when a flash of lightning broke the sky in half, followed by a clap of thunder that shook the entire camp.

To her utter shock, Levi flinched and whimpered. He cursed at his own reaction, his arms tightening subconsciously around her body.

“Levi…” (Y/N) murmured. “Are you… scared of storms?”

The look in his gunmetal hues was answer enough. (Y/N) felt a dizzying mix of immense relief and a rush of sympathy and sadness wash through her. She was glad she wasn’t the source of his fears and discomfort, but she felt horrible for what he was going through. She had had no idea, never even had an inkling that their fearsome, stone-faced Captain would be scared of rain and thunder.

Quickly shaking off any questions she had, (Y/N) shifted her arms from where they had been hugging her stomach, and wrapped them around his waist and neck, pulling him into her. She felt him tense a little at the foreign contact, but she didn’t let it mess with her confidence. She knew he needed this, knew he secretly craved the comfort of human contact, and forced herself to shove her anxiety to the side and focus solely on her hurting Captain. After a moment, Levi eventually tightened his grip on her and snuggled into her embrace, making her heart explode with love and affection.

He nuzzled his face into her neck, letting out occasional quiet moans and murmurs of approval as she ran her fingers through his soft raven locks with one hand and rubbed comforting circles into his back with the other.

They were silent for a long while, merely enjoying the comfort of the other’s company despite the tenseness (Y/N) could still feel in the Captain’s muscles. Whenever thunder rocked the world, or a gust of wind made the rain lash against the tent like gunfire, (Y/N) would hold him tighter to her, cooing softly at him and massaging his back and shoulders. His eyes closed at her ministrations, his lashes fluttering against her skin, tickling her neck as he started to settle.

“My best friends died in a storm just like this,” Levi whispered into the dark, making  (Y/N) gasp. She looked down to see his eyes were still closed, his nose pressed against her neck.

“Levi… I’m so sorry,” (Y/N) said, lightly scratching his undercut.

“What’s done is done,” Levi said tightly, “But I’m never going to let anything happen to you.”

Levi opened his eyes, pinning her with a look of determined fire, “I will protect you, I promise.”

(Y/N) smiled, letting out a contented sigh as he leaned in to press soft butterfly kisses along her throat, a sign of gratitude for everything she had done for him.

“I’ll protect you too, Levi. Whenever you need me, I am here for you. Always.”

Levi was grateful she couldn’t see his face as he blinked away the tears that had unexpectedly risen to prick at his eyes. “I’ll hold you to that, brat.”

(Y/N) huffed a laugh and leaned down to press a loving kiss to his forehead, “You better.”

Levi snorted, “Go to sleep.”

“Yes, sir.”

Levi gave her a weak flick on the shoulder before snuggling more into her warm embrace, a small smile making its way to his face as he felt the fear drain from his body despite the storm still raging outside. (Y/N) was his calming balm, something to soothe his tortured soul and battered heart. He was still afraid of losing her, but he knew now that he couldn’t bear to stay away. He would just have to work harder to protect her, to keep her from harm at all costs. He would become her sword and her shield, a way to repay her for being his blanket, his home, his light.

“Goodnight Levi,” (Y/N) sighed as her own eyes fluttered closed.

“Goodnight Cuddlebug,” Levi said softly, a nickname he was sure would embarrass her later. Just as he expected, (Y/N) threw him one last half-hearted glare for his teasing before she succumbed to her exhaustion, a small smile on her face as she curled into his warm body.

Levi found himself quickly falling asleep behind her, surprised at how fast she made him relax. He was so used to being an insomniac, especially during a storm where he felt paralyzed with fear and horrible memories, but (Y/N) was holding his demons back for him, keeping them locked away for the night, and he couldn’t be more grateful for that as he slowly slipped from consciousness and into a dreamless sleep.

“Thank you, (Y/N),” was the last thing Levi managed to say, the last thing (Y/N) managed to hear, before the pair fell into a deep sleep, wrapped up in their own little world together.

[chefrat]

Trying my best to exist just for you

pairings: reader x Levi

type: angst, fluff

word-count: 2.1k

warnings: cursing, mentions of a dislocated hip, mention of blood, death

A/N: I’m honestly so sleepy right now but really felt like finishing this so I hope its good enough :( my English isn't the best but Im trying also I really don't know what to title this just I’m gonna use a Lorde lyric lmao

Levi looked around anxiously, trying to get any piece of you into view. Even if it was your hair, or your shoulder, just something to ease him. Seconds passed and you still were no where in sight and it drove him absolutely crazy. Erwin passing by quickly and purposely not making eye contact with Levi pissed him off but it made him even more anxious. He was good at not showing it though but his eyes told a different story. ‘Where the fuck are you?’ Levi thought to himself, anxiously waiting seeing the group that had gone out earlier this week pass through, everyone was exhausted but civilians cheered. It was still not enough to lift up the spirits and Levi knew exactly what those looks were of. He tried his best to put the negative thoughts away, not waning to imagine someone telling him that you were gone. Just the thought of it made his chest tighten and his throat run dry. That’s when he saw the crate pulling in those who were hurt and another one following behind that carried those who didn’t make it but whose body were recovered. Hange could feel their friend tense at the sight of both carts occupied, they looked around with concern trying to see if you were in either of them.

The sigh that left their lips once they saw you were in the injured crate was enough to relief them from worry but to Levi it still felt like a stab to the chest. It hurt him seeing you there, bleeding but still trying your best to attend the wounds of others. “Make space!” Someone in the crowd yelled, rushing and trying to get those who were injured to the infirmary. Levi was quick on his feet, following behind trying to get to you. Earlier this week, Erwin had decided to pull you from Levi’s squad to join him for a quick expedition that was suppose to last much longer than four days but shit hit the fan. Everything was rushed, too much had blown up in your guys face and you couldn’t help but feel guilty for not doing enough. You had been one of the first ones to end up harmed, the titan sending you flying with a swat of his hand catching you off guard and immediately disabling you from being able to defend your squad. Some squad members quickly came to your aid but only resulting in fatality. That’s when you really let out a sob, seeing your friends die in front of you because they were trying to protect you. But you didn’t give up there, your left leg barely functioning and with tears in your eyes, you tried your best to get away. To try to avenge your friends but you were quickly swept off your feet by another squad member barely giving you the chance to catch your breath. 

Memories came flooding back and you tried your best to hold in your cries, trying to get others into the beds. You ignored your own pain and Levi’s calls to settle down. “Hey.” He said with a stern voice, reaching out to you but you were too busy helping the medic even when they were telling you they had it in control. “Please listen to me.” He pleaded and you complied, facing him with wet tears running down your face and dried blood taking up space of the face Levi adored so much. It pained him, he couldn’t handle seeing you like this. The way you winced while limping and the blood that came rushing from your leg that was most likely broken. Levi carefully swept you up and rushed towards an empty bed with a medic following behind. The tears wouldn’t stop coming, the guilt hurting more than your whole leg being dislocated. Your hand reached out for Levi’s which he gladly took, he brought it up to his cheek letting your cold hand graze his warm cheek. Those four days felt like hell to him but seeing you in pain and bleeding on the bed was on a whole different level. Oh how he wished he could take the pain away from you and let himself go through it instead, he just couldn’t see you like this anymore. It was obvious he was concerned, his emotions that he tried so hard to never show finally being put on display.

Hours passed and it was midnight all of a sudden and after many medics who had tried their best to help you, they finally came to the conclusion that you had dislocated your hip. The crying also stopped but you couldn’t help but feel numb, the only area in your body that was radiating heat came from your leg and from your swollen hip. Levi never left your side, still holding your hand and even cleaning up the blood from your body. Erwin walked in, catching everyone’s attention and to check up on the wounded. He would visit every two hours, the glares Levi would send his way made everyone in the infirmary uncomfortable. Levi was beyond piss, mad that he had taken you instead of him and mad that you had ended up hurt. “Levi, please.” You whispered to him, squeezing his hand trying to ease his anger. The black haired man listened though, his main goal being to keep you comfortable and to distract you from your pain. Erwin went to talk to you, asking how you were feeling but Levi continued to stare him down. This was something that he was not going to let go of so easily. 

It was night now, probably early morning and Levi still hasn’t left your side, sleeping on the chair that was next to your bed. Everyone else was sound asleep but you just couldn’t. You couldn’t sleep because of the pain but because of how it all went down. It just didn’t sit right with you and it was weighing you down. Your thoughts were much more louder than whatever was chirping outside of the infirmary. “Please sleep.” You looked over to see him with his eyes closed and his arms crossed, looking as if he was sleeping but not exactly. “I can’t.” A shaky breath left your lips, the events playing in loop. “Levi,” You brought your hands up to your eyes. “I have never felt so useless.” Hot tears ran down your face while you tried your best to express yourself to Levi with a gentle voice not wanting to disturb the other people in the room. He opened his eyes, looking into yours with his own pain. “I know you’re hurting but please, I want you to sleep.” But you didn’t argue, the sudden wave of tiredness and painkillers knocking you out. 

-

It’s been a week and you were finally discharged from the infirmary but ordered to be put on bed rest for the rest of the month until your next check up. Levi practically made himself your own personal nurse without you even asking, he would remind you about your medicine, not only that but he was also bringing you food, helping you stand and helping you with your daily tasks. Sometimes his overprotectiveness would clash with your need of being independent but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Lack of mobility made itself its daily reminder of what had happened and there was no escaping it. It made a huge impact and Levi took notice. You weren’t the only one affected, Levi was also pretty shaken up thinking he had lost you but that was the risk for serving in the Survey Corps and the both of you knew that. You sat up on the bed, wincing at the piercing pain on your hip that you still haven’t gotten used to. The thought about not being able to fully heal pained you. If it healed improperly there was no doubt that you would be stuck with a limp and then no longer needed in the Survey Corps. 

The sudden creak of the door opening caught your attention. A solid Levi walked in, the first few buttons of his white uniform shirt unbuttoned. His eyes met yours but quickly changed in appearance, burrowing his brows at you. “You shouldn’t be sitting.” You rolled your eyes, slowly getting off of the bed putting your good foot down first. “Welcome home, honey.” Levi rushed over to you, very against you trying to stand. “For fuck’s sake, please just lay in bed.” He swept you up and gently placed you back on the mattress of your shared bed, ruining your progress. You grabbed onto the collar of his shirt and pulled him down for a quick peck taking him by surprise. Levi gave you a small smile but quickly dismissed it, standing up and walking away to change out of his uniform. “Levi?” You questioned, sitting up on the bed again even though you shouldn’t, making him roll his eyes. “What if…” You could feel your tears start up but bit your tongue, trying your best to hold them back. “What if I never properly heal and I’m ordered to back down from serving in the Survey Corps?” 

Levi glanced over to you, he noticed that it had been a thought thats been gnawing at you all day. Even he wasn’t sure how to answer that, he made it look like he was more focused on changing. Just thinking about it made you burst out crying, everything you worked so hard for thrown away just like that. The way you tried your hardest to control your crying but you knew you couldn’t keep it in any more, it really did hurt Levi seeing you like this. He threw on a shirt and made it all the way over to you in a blink of an eye. Without thinking about it he dropped to his knees in front of you, taking in your hands. You could feel how his slightly trembled in your hold and you couldn’t help but scowl. 

“You have no idea on how I felt when everyone else walked through that gate except you.” He gripped your hands even tighter, staring into your own glossy orbs. “I am so so so fucking happy having you here with me right now. If I had to choose, I would pick this one hundred times over than you never returning to me. You risked your life out there and managed to come back alive and you’re still thinking about going out there again, that takes balls and I think if it ever comes down to it and you’re ordered to back down then that would be the dumbest thing that this military has ever done to turn away someone like you.” You couldn’t help but cry a little more, his reassuring words and warm touch making you more into an emotional mess. 

“Levi, I was scared. I thought it was over for me, it all happened so quickly but you’re right. I rather have this a hundred times over than never coming home to you. I thought about, about how it could have been to grow old with you and about if you would still be there for me after so many years. The only thing that went through my mind during those few seconds was you—“ The sob that you barely managed out burned your throat from how strongly your emotions were at the the moment.This has probably been one of the first times Levi has ever seen you completely breakdown besides that day when you returned. You talking about how the only things you were thinking about was him during what you thought would be your final moments of life made his own eyes water. 

He cupped your face, feeling his hands become wet from the tears that kept racing down your face. His own tearful eyes looking into yours, both completely vulnerable to each other and showing each others fears. “Let’s do it.” Levi said out of nowhere, confusing you. “Do what?” The both of you never breaking eye contact, his touch still making an influence on your rosy cheeks. “Let’s get married.” You gave a small raspy laugh but they way he never broke character made you think that maybe he was being honest.“I’m dead serious. Tonight, tomorrow, in a week, whenever you want but only if it’s with me.”  You studied his eyes, marriage has never been brought up before so for this proposal to pop out of nowhere, it really was a surprise to you. With a nod and loving eyes you ran your hand through his black hair. Levi inched closer, sealing the deal with a kiss. That was all he needed, even if your hip was never going to heal completely and you had to walk with a limp for the rest of your life he would still love you, no matter what. 

(not edited, also wrote this on like 38 hours of no sleep :( but still, hope its okayish enough)

[natsukitakama]

Headcanons on Levi seeing his s/o going thru baby fever 👀

Author note : Hi there, thank you for your request. I’m sorry for taking so long, I’ve literally read a tone of newspaper about mother. Since I’m not very confident about the whole pregnancy thing I need to read a lot, so I apologized if it’s sound cliché or anything. 

Warning : You could see this as a prequel to this headcanon / Spoiler free 

i do not own the gif I found it on Gifer, credit to the owner 

Masterlist

“A strong emotional urge to have a child. Commonly thought to be just for women, however; men get it as well”. - Urban dictionary definition of Baby fever

Okay so first of all, I don’t think he’ll notice your behavior. And even if he does, I don’t think he’ll think much about it. For him, it was absolutely « normal » for you to start to think about children. After all, he wasn’t young anymore a lot of people actually expects him to see him one day with a baby in his arm. Not that he will mind though. 

It was just him being afraid to lose another people he cares. It was a miracle that he let him falling in love with you 

But still time tot time, when his minds wasn’t full of Titans and Eren being a brat’, he actually daydreams a lot about a domestically life. He would « kill » to have a family on his own, someone who would wait for him when he will be back from job and a child … maybe two Childs running into him for a hug. Please at this point he deserves everything 

So he actually thought you were doing the same, that’s why he didn’t question you when he noticed your staring at the woman’s belly or when you were looking at some baby clothes. 

But then you started to look at children with a sad expression, you weren’t enjoying seeing a new mummy anymore. No, now you started to feel jealous of them, and a bit angry at yourself for not having a child already. Of course, you said nothing, you didn’t even verbalize your thought but Levi didn’t need to hear you say it, he knew you. He knew you were disappointed by yourself but won’t ask anything or even tell Levi because you didn’t want to upset him or anything. 

He wanted to talk to you, he really wanted to. But Levi being the man he is, wasn’t very comfortable with the whole « talking » thing. Before he got into that kind of situation where he wasn’t very in control, he needed to be sure he wasn’t misunderstanding the situation. 

He just didn’t know how to be sure you were actually craving for a baby, it’s not like it was a disease or anything so he couldn’t just ask a doctor about it. He wasn’t sure if he could ask Hansi too, they weren’t into children more into titans. He was surrounded by children so he didn’t see the point of asking one of his female member of his squad. 

He decided to walk into a library looking for anything who could help him, at this point even an advice from someone drunk would be enough. Then he found it, there were a book more like an essay about « baby fever » : he never head about something like that, but he wasn’t too dumb. I mean it’s written « baby » so it’s probably about people who wanted to be parents right ? 

So he just bought it and took it at his office, it was the only place he would be sure to be interrupted by anything or being spotted by You. After serving himself a cup of tea, he sat on his desk and then started to read his new book. 

It started by stating a lot of symptom that might be a sign of someone going through what’s called baby fever : 

Jealous against people who became parent 

Wondering why you’re not a parent yet 

Always questioning yourself about your parenting skill and your will to have children 

Sometimes you were looking a bit too long into baby’s furniture 

Sometimes you’re staring at future mummy or at their child 

Sometimes you’re daydreaming about your future child 

You’re always smiling at any children you could see and even tried to make them laugh 

You’re always helping (protecting) any children 

The author kept going by explaining point by point every signs with example. During he whole reading, Levi just noted on a paper every sign and which one you might have. After half and an hour, Levi was 90% sure you might have a « baby fever » and he was kinda anxious cause he didn’t know how he was supposed to deal with it.  

After seeing you interacting with a little boy, he knew he had to talk to you because it was something important for the both of us especially since he started to want a child too. 

So one night when you were together enjoying a nice moment together, for once you could be « chilling » (as much as a soldier could chill) together not thinking about strategy or worst titans. Levi knew he was the moment he was waiting for so he sat close to you but not too close so he could have a full seen of your face and your expression. 

« Y/N

Yes ? Is something wrong ? You seemed tense … I mean more than usual 

I want to ask you something 

U-Uh yeah sure 

Do you want a child ?

Excuse me ? Where this is coming from ? 

I’m the one who is asking question so answer me, Do you want to start a family ? 

W-Well yeah sure, of course I want a family !

It’s been a long time since you started to think about it right ? 

I guess 

So why haven’t you say anything about it ? 

I knew your past and I can understand that he might be a big no for you and I love you- 

I want children too

Excuse me ? 

Are you deaf ? I say I want a children 

Like… right now ? 

What ? Of course not don’t be silly. But I want a family with you on conditions 

What kind of conditions then ? 

I can’t possibly have a child… a family knowing both of us are fighting against those monsters and might not coming back 

I understand that 

So here is the thing, see this as a deal okay ? 

Sure tell me 

Here’s the deal, if you want a child like I do, you’ll have to quit the survey corps and ask to be transferred on a safe place, you could do any job you want I just want you to be in a safe place far away from them. It’s not debatable. While you’re doing that I would ask some « friends » to find us a nice house in the Sina wall, if I’m the asking one they won’t be able to say no

You mean they’ll be too afraid to 

My point exactly. After being sure you find a job and our house is under control I would go back into the survey corps 

You’re not quitting ? 

Not yet. I need to finish a work first. (the look on his face tell you what he was talking about)

That’s mean you won’t be here 24/7 

Yeah i know. I promise you I’ll be home as much as I can and you know I’ll always be back from a mission. 

I know you will. I trust you. 

So ? 

We have a deal » 

[nnnbells]

some nero pov about - surprise surprise - li, set in the aot dimension. not publishing it on the void bc i have pledged never to write anything from nero’s pov.

wrote this probably last year? kasi it was last edited on feb 2020

Nero wakes with a jolt, sweat damp on his forehead. His heart is hammering in his chest, and when he closes his eyes against the sunlight blasting in through his window, he remembers just a glimpse of sharp eyes and dark, unruly hair, before the image disappears. Nero grinds his teeth together in frustration. 

That dream – that boy – again. 

Most times, the dream would be dark; bleak. Nero would struggle to peer past heavy rainfall, and not too far from him would stand the boy. He stood proud, like nothing could ever cowe him, and when Nero would call his name, he would turn; fix intense eyes on him. 

The ginger hates that dream. He could taste it; taste the boy's name on his tongue, but when morning came – and it always did, and would – it would be ash in his mouth. He would spend long moments laying still, trying to force the boy's name from his mouth as if muscle alone would remember a boy he's never seen before. 

Sometimes, the dream would be loud. Loud, like the world ending, like fear seizing Nero's heart. The boy, with teeth bared, alone and desperate. In those dreams, Nero would be running – or soaring; he could never really remember – quick, but never quick enough to reach the boy before he would wake with a shout and a hand outstretched. Sometimes, the dream would be a nightmare. 

Less often, the dream would be still; peaceful like Nero's never felt before. The boy, on his back, eyes closed in slumber. It almost feels voyeuristic, the way Nero knows intimately how many seconds pass in between each of the boy's breaths by the rise and fall of his chest, but the knowledge that he is trusted with this information calms Nero. 

Rarely, the dream would be bright. Too bright; in an intensity Nero's never before experienced. The boy would have his face turned toward the sky, like he could never have enough. Something akin to hope in his eyes. The wind that would whip at Nero's face in those bright dreams would taste like stolen freedom; a frenzied rush. 

Those dreams had Nero waking with his heart threatening to beat out of his chest; had him waking like he would never wake again. Nero knows where he would chase that dream; chase the free winds and bright sky and hopeful eyes. 

Nero will join the Survey Corps.

*

Years pass; quicker than Nero ever would have imagined. 

It's not long before Nero becomes an integral part of the Corps. He climbs his way up to the vanguard; is revered as one of humanity's best. Is lauded for surviving as long as he has.

Years pass, and he meets people; people who stand by him and fight alongside him and die before him. Nero never follows. He watches people die; watches them scream and cry before disappearing from the world altogether, but he does not follow. He has someone to find.

The boy in his dreams is younger than Nero remembers when Nero finally finds him. Finally, because he never doubted, not once, that he would find him; the boy with dark hair and even darker eyes. 

But when he does, when Nero does find him, the boy stands prouder than ever, the set of his shoulders determined and eyes just as sharp as Nero remembers from his dreams. When Nero does find him, the boy does not find him back.

He stands, stares with blank eyes; the valedictorian candidate of batch 103rd of the southern training regiment, at Nero; a senior soldier of the Survey Corps.

He is a boy. 

*

Still, he is found. 

Still, Nero remembers. 

So, he takes him under his wing; the moment the boy dedicates his life, his heart, to their cause – or to the commander's lofty words, Nero is not sure – Nero knows in his heart the boy belongs to him. So, Nero comes to him, talks to him, trains him, like any good senior officer would do.

But the boy – Li, he says his name is. Nero doesn't find it unusual like the rest of them, this foreign name; it feels like he's been speaking the name for the entirety of his life and all of his past ones. 

The boy doesn't need much training. No, he takes to the sky like a bird of prey. He rides the wind like he was born to fly, and Nero watches him soar, rise higher than all the rest of them; watches him learn what it's like to be free. 

Watches the hope begin to colour those obsidian eyes of his. 

*

The boy's first expedition goes awry. 

They place him near the formation's centre, because no matter how much mastery he possesses over the manoeuvre gear he is still green, so they place him near the centre, much too far from Nero's place in the vanguard. 

They place him in the centre, so when an aberrant suddenly comes barreling through the village they'd been passing through; when it stomps right through the left vanguard and leaves most of them unmounted or dead, the boy jumps to action to prevent it from getting to the right vanguard. 

And Nero watches, from his place in the rightmost of the vanguard, he watches Li weave through buildings and zoom past flailing limbs, alone. He watches his boy, his newly recruited, inexperienced boy, take on an aberrant by himself. 

Nero doesn't think his horse has ever run faster in its entire career in the Survey Corps. He pulls a hard left, breaking formation and ignoring shouts and warnings from the rest; he can't hear anything besides the indignant sounds coming from the titan's mouth as it swings and swipes at the air, trying to catch Li like a particularly pesky fly —

And it does catch him, it finally does catch Nero's boy, grabbing him in its filthy hand, something like joy in its expressionless eyes. “Li!” 

The longest seconds of Nero's life come as he races toward them, him, and he watches the titan wrench its hand tighter around his boy, watches the sheer outrage on his boy's face, and for one terrifying moment Nero thinks, I won't make it; he's going to die, Li is going to die; I can't save him —

And then a figure zooms past him; then two, then the aberrant is tumbling down, Li still snug in its grasp, and finally Nero is close enough; he jumps off his horse without even assessing the environment, frantically grappling at the nearest building, hurtling fast toward the titan's fist before Li gets accidentally slammed into the nearest roof.

Nero's blades break as he chops off most of the titan's fingers in a spin so quick he thinks he might have broken his wrist, but that's nothing compared to the sheer relief that he feels when he sees, from the corner of his eye, his boy grunting in pain as he falls out of the titan's grip and catches himself on a window ledge.

Nero swings off the house he's landed on, stumbling over to the too-tiny window ledge gracelessly in his haste to reach Li, never stopping to even think as he gathers the younger up in his arms like he'll never let go again, the thrum of the boy's heartbeat loud and quick against Nero's own chest. No, Nero doesn't even register the way the boy goes rigid; all the veteran can think is he's safe I'm here I won't leave him he's alive — “I can't lose you.”

Distantly, Nero hears the familiar sound of twin blades slicing through flesh, a heavy inhuman thump following, but in his ears, the words whispered but somehow loud and clear: “Who are you?” His boy – Li, his Li – is stock-still in his arms, and the cadence of his voice is something Nero's never heard from him before; unsure and anxious, maybe even scared.

I'm yours. I've been looking for you; please find me — “I don't know.” He's been living without any sort of real purpose besides finding his dream; no knowledge of why he's even here, and now that he's found him, found the boy of obsidian, the thought of losing him again scares Nero. It's selfish; childish. 

“Nero! Hey, are you alright?”

Above them, on the roof, lands Hamilton Holt, and the momentary distraction snaps Li into action, wrenching his own arms free of Nero's grasp and pushing him away so hard he would've fallen off the ledge had his reflexes failed him. His wrist screams in pain, and Nero is vacantly reminded of the injury he must have sustained when attacking the aberrant, but the look the boy – his boy – gives him is nothing if not alarmed and – and fearful. More so than when he had first faced down a titan. 

Nero reaches a hand out; Li doesn't deserve to be anything but happy, and if Nero had his way nothing impure would ever touch him. 

“Stay away from me;” comes the boy's growled words before he jumps off the window ledge and flies back toward the formation. 

There's another thump, then a pair of boots lands in front of Nero, and when he cranes his head upward it's the Holt boy, looking down at him with a mix of confusion and pity in his face. He reaches a hand out. “Let's go.”

When Nero doesn't move the hulking blond hauls him up forcibly, turning him around and pushing him off the ledge, and it's only reflex that gets Nero safely on the ground, next to his horse that whinnies softly as if telling him it's time to go. 

He's numb and silent as he clambers back on top of his horse, and when he takes his place back in the formation, he trots past the young noble Kabra, who's looking at him with an odd, almost comtemplative look in his eyes before he forges on ahead tailed by the Holt boy.

*

When the Kabra boy becomes squad leader mere weeks later, he handpicks Nero, Li, and of course his two dogs, the giant blond and the brown puppy, as his squad members. 

*

Nero's new squad leader handcrafts team exercises especially for them; drills and practices that have the team weaving together in the sky, slashing down imaginary opponents with beautifully choreographed manoeuvres that wow the rest of the Corps and leave them wishing they'd been picked for the Kabra squad instead. 

By the end of each day Nero feels more and more exhausted, sharper, and faster. With his new squad, he thinks out on the field, he could be invincible. 

In his new squad, he thinks he's just glad Li is part of it too. The Kabra boy won't let anything happen to the Underground prodigy, he knows. 

*

Under their new squad leader, Nero watches Li grow. His skills reach a height soldiers can only dream of, and Nero knows if he had the same years of experience, Li could equal the prowess of Lance Corporal Levi, humanity's strongest. 

Under their new squad leader, Nero watches Li grow into the perfect soldier, shaped by the scheming Kabra through harsh training and subtle manipulations only Nero is keen enough to notice. 

No, only Nero cares enough to notice. He supposes it must be the constant eye he has on Li that brought him notice to the mind games the Kabra plays on the boy. It alarms him, knowing that the Kabra – the Commander prodigy – is trying to create another loyal dog, another flawless soldier so finely attuned to his words. It terrifies him to think of the Kabra completely winning the boy over. 

Nevertheless, Li grows – exponentially – under the Kabra's watchful eye in skill, psyche, and body. The boy from a year ago, the valedictorian of the 103rd Training Corps, had become a steadfast soldier of the Survey Corps, wearing proudly on his back the Wings of Freedom, shoulders broader and eyes sharper, fully a man in every way, and farther from Nero than when he'd first met him. 

*

The next expedition comes only four months after the last one; the 103rd batch recruits' second foray into titan territory. 

The Kabra boy volunteers his squad to be part of the vanguard. 

*

Nero's more than accustomed to being beyond the walls, but he can't deny the palpable tension he feels from the entire regiment, a sort of ironic mix of both nervousness and excitement from the rest of the soldiers. 

He knows why; although not listed officially as one of this mission's objectives, today will be a test run of the meticulously groomed Kabra squad, a bearer of hope for the Survey Corps, long under construction, now ready to be unleashed. 

The Kabra boy – ever ingenious, they say – had suggested a new approach on establishing supply points inside Wall Maria: the carriages, carrying supplies, flanked and fronted by small teams of only the best; a high density of humans tended to attract an even higher number of titans, so a stealthier approach could account for less deaths. 

It's a high risk, high reward situation; but the Commander is not known for being cautious, nor is he known for being sentimental.

He gives the go signal to the little noble's proposal, and places the Kabra squad – fresh recruits and all – in the front vanguard, to lead the first supply cart alongside the Command Centre. 

*

Nero can practically smell the fear from the puppy behind him. No, it's not fear – the boy trusts their squad leader too much to truly be afraid – it's unease. 

Placed at the front of the formation – made up of a single long line of teams spaced far in between – there is nothing to bar titans from reaching their squad with a few meagre steps. No, in fact they are the barrier, the only thing keeping the supply carts and their drivers from certain doom. 

In between their ranks, just slightly behind the young noble who is leading the entire formation, is the Commander of the Survey Corps, flanked by his own men; a meagre number of two soldiers. 

The Kabra squad is the only thing that stands in between death and a failed mission, and the Commander. 

Nero understands the brown boy's unease. Sort of. 

A quick glance to the right shows Nero the way Li grips his horse's reins tightly, an eye keen on the horizon for any incoming danger. He's alert and focused on the objective, just as their young squad leader taught them to be, but the tight set of his eyebrows tell Nero he's also just as nervous as he should be; an inexperienced recruit with less than a year of formal Survey Corps training, tossed into an elite mission for veterans by a madman of a Commander and a scheming witch of a squad leader. 

Nero faces back forward before the boy inevitably catches him looking. There's no need to be scared. He will protect Li; fight tooth and nail for the boy to live, humanity's objectives be damned.

*

They run into their first titan not two hours into the journey. 

Around 5 metres; nothing to worry about, but the 12 metre titan that comes lumbering after it is definitely something to think about.

The Holt boy spots them first, of course, and when he reports it aloud – both to their squad leader, front and centre, and to the Commander – the man on the Commander's right pulls out a flare gun, loads it with a green round. 

Their squad leader pulls back, just enough to ride parallel to the Commander, and Nero watches the young noble exchange words with the other before raising his voice in the unmistakable cadence of an order: “Kabra squad, engage! No rotations.” The Commander's man puts away his flare gun. 

Nero had been expecting it, of course; for the Commander prodigy to show off his well-trained squad like prize horses at the first opportunity. So, as rehearsed, he pulls forward alongside the rest of the Kabra squad, spurring their horses so they can reach the titans long before the rest of the Corps does, the Holt boy calling dibs on the larger one. 

And of course, also as rehearsed and because their rigorous training has allowed them to know intimately the measure of each other's strengths, the boy behind Nero calls out a, “Assisting Nero-san with the 5 metre titan!”

That's settled, then.

He watches Li pull forward, fearless as ever, inevitably gaining the attention of both titans, before he spurs his horse to come up just behind him. There are little to no trees nearby, so he's going to have to get as close as possible before switching to 3D space. 

Li veers a hard right to circle around the smaller titan, and as it turns to look at him Nero takes the opportunity to jump off his horse and shoot a hook somewhere to the titan's side, swinging up and in front to distract it from the younger boy, and in Nero's peripheral he sees Li take to the skies to avoid getting stomped by the bigger titan, its attention appropriately caught now. The Holt boy rides by on his horse, hook catching somewhere at the titan's ankle, and at that point Nero returns his attention to the task at hand. 

Below him, the puppy recruit rides in between the titan's feet, his unease seemingly forgotten in the face of duty – or loyalty to their squad leader, who knows – and he jumps off his horse and does a beautifully elegant turn midair (the boy is a quick learner; he'd picked the manoeuvre up after watching Nero do it a couple of times) before grappling at the distracted titan's shoulder. 

The next few moments come quick and are finalised by two dull thuds, steam blocking Nero's vision, but when he lands safely back on the ground and whistles for his horse his first course of action is to ride out of the fog and swing his head around frantically, looking for the boy in his dreams. 

“Wonderful manoeuvre out there, Li.” 

Their squad leader's thick accent filters in through the haze, and Nero snaps his head toward the approaching party. Li is calmly trotting his horse back toward the formation, welcomed by the young noble's proud smile and flanked by the remaining two members of their squad. 

Nero wills his heart rate to calm down. He knows, rationally, of course, that the boy from the Underground is stronger than probably majority of the Survey Corps; can probably take down a titan all by himself if he wanted. But every second the boy is not within Nero's field of vision is an agonising moment, the irrational fear of losing him to a miscalculation or a distraction too much for Nero to bear. It drives him insane.

It used to be better; back when he'd practically called dibs on the boy, he would demand the younger follow him everywhere under the guise of ‘learning from his mentor.’ He liked to think it was less lonely for the boy, too. He came with a handful of others, the graduates of the 103rd Training Corps who were delusional enough to join the Survey Corps, but the only other recruit he seemed to tolerate was the Kabra's brown puppy. 

Nero learned much from the meagre months they spent glued to each other's hip before the boy's first expedition, and he was confident enough to think that Li trusted him. But he never did explain the reason behind his protectiveness – to the boy or to the other seniors of the Survey Corps – and he supposed it must have seemed strange to an outsider. 

But Nero's breakdown after the boy's near-death encounter during his first expedition had scared him off; now that they were no longer on speaking terms – much less a-metre-near-the-other terms – it's now much harder for Nero to tamp down his possessiveness. Watching the boy's ears turn red with embarrassment from their squad leader's compliment just screams wrong, wrong, wrong, but Nero knows there's nothing he can do about it; nothing he will do about it, because all he ever wants is to see Li safe, and safe is how he is right now, in the Kabra squad.

Nero doesn't need to intervene. 

*

They return from the expedition the next morning with an astounding 80% of the party still remaining; the highest recorded survival rate in a Survey Corps expedition. Of course, it helps that only the veterans had been enlisted for this one. 

Naturally, a party is in order.

The Commander is invited by some rich asshole in Sina to celebrate, and he brings the Kabra boy with him to properly credit the mind behind the new formation (and, Nero supposes, to endorse the future Commander of the Survey Corps in the event that Erwin Smith kicks the bucket prematurely. The Commander likes to think ahead). 

Before their squad leader leaves, Nero watches him place five gold coins in his blond dog's palm, smiling; leaving some instruction, no doubt. And that same evening, said dog comes into the mess hall, puts his fist in the air, and shouts, “Drinks on Ian tonight!”

The resulting cheer is deafening. 

*

Nero is wasted, probably. He can't see much past his own nose, and each step he takes he swears he feels the ground shaking.

So, yes: he's probably wasted.

He can't remember how much he's had to drink, but he does remember chugging down each frothing mug they place in his hand. So, yes: he's probably drunk too much. 

He steps outside the tavern for a little air – it's much too loud, now; and a congregation of drunk soldiers is always a headache – and peers at a familiar figure sitting on the porch steps, facing the empty midnight street. He smiles a little giddily when he realises who it is. 

He plops down rather gracelessly next to Li, almost tipping over in his drunkenness, but the man – boy, who cares? – doesn't even flinch. 

The stars above them remind him faintly of something, but now he can't remember. Nero can't remember much of anything. He wants to go to bed. 

“I first met you in a dream I had when I was young.”

Nero doesn't even notice he's talking until he realises it's his own voice he's hearing. He makes no effort to stop; it doesn't matter anyway, does it?

“You were frightened. Afraid of something I couldn't see. And that made me afraid too. When I woke up I wondered to myself: what's happened to that boy?”

He hears Li shift, and a quick glance to the right reveals the younger man had turned his body slightly in his direction. The Underground prodigy had never been one to hide his motives; now Nero supposes he's curious. 

“When I woke up, I said to myself; I'm going to make sure that boy is safe. No matter what.”

A loud bark of laughter surprises himself more than it surprises Li, but when he shifts to look Li in the face, he finds that the younger man is already looking at him, something akin to wonder in his eyes. It's been a while since Nero's been able to look at those obsidian eyes. He hates that he can somehow see his reflection in them.

“But you don't need saving, do you? I finally find you, and you're the strongest soldier in your entire generation, probably even the next ten. Figures.”

Nero finds his eyes fluttering shut. He's so sleepy. And when in hell did it get so cold?

“I don't know why I'm here. I don't even know why I'm still alive; dozens of expeditions and not one lucky titan manages to off me. I just know…”

He closes his eyes, leans his head against the handrail beside him. Li has gone so silent. Nero wonders if he's still here, or just up and left sometime during his drunken rambling.

“I just know that I'm glad you're finally safe. That's enough.”

*

Nero lingers between a pleasant unconsciousness and bleary awareness as he feels his back hit a particularly unpleasant mattress. 

There's some murmuring about, and Nero's too sleepy to properly wake up and tell everyone to shut up, but he's about to try anyway, propping himself up on an elbow before his eyes even open, until he hears a harsh, “Quiet!” in a voice that's unmistakable.  

The muttering stops, and then an even more unmistakable hand pushes him back down on his back, a momentary pause before pushing ginger strands off his sweaty forehead. Nero keeps his eyes closed; memorises the feeling of calloused fingers almost tenderly wiping the sweat off his brow. 

He feels the warmth of a blanket cover him, and he lets himself drift back off to sleep, a smile threatening to overtake his features. 

*

Morning finds Nero vomiting on a recruit's bed. 

There's another recruit sitting across from him, watching him with a mix of a grimace and dutiful respect on his face, and Nero manages to weakly smile back, wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand. “Sorry 'bout that.”

He's in the newest recruits' barracks, the 103rd kids, and most of them are gone. The boy across from him, sitting on another bed, is not in uniform. It's probably a day off.

The boy eyes the puddle of mashed up dinner on Nero's blanket with barely concealed disgust. “Li will kill you for that. Uh, sir.”

Nero looks up so quick his head feels like it's flying straight off his shoulders. “This Li's bed?” The recruit nods. 

Nero nods back, slowly this time to avoid dislodging his head – it may not contain much but he's still rather fond of it – and moves to get up, narrowly missing hitting his forehead on the ceiling of the bunk bed on top of his – or Li's – squeezing his eyes shut when he's finally upright to give the nausea time to fuck off. 

When he feels he can walk properly without tripping on air he gives a tight smile and short nod to the young boy. “Best you clean it up then; wouldn't want Li to be on your ass about it, hm?”

He leaves just quick enough to avoid seeing the boy's hasty salute.

*

“You couldn't have thrown up on another person's bed?”

Nero looks up from where he's tinkering with his gear, setting it down and narrowing his eyes at Li. The boy is in his uniform polo; he probably still hasn't bought any personal garments for himself yet (he'd discarded of the two shirts he'd owned in the Underground when he came here; had said they reeked of blood and grime). 

“You couldn't have put me on my own bed?”

Li shrugs, “Your bunkmates were noisy.” Nero wonders why now, Li cannot even look at his face, when all this time that Nero had stayed away from him he'd looked upon the ginger with such disdain in his eyes.

Nero goes back to cleaning his gear.

“You weren't drunk.”

It's not a question, but nevertheless Nero hears Li asking for affirmation. He snorts. “I think I had like a barrel worth of booze. I'm not a lightweight, but I'm not exactly Hamilton Holt either. So, yes: I was drunk.”

“Is that the excuse you're going with?”

Nero puts down his gear with a decisive clunk, and faces Li, who finally seems to have found the courage to look him in the eye. He looks... defiant, but in a way, hopeful. Nero wonders what he's hoping for. “What do you want?”

The blunt question seems to off-balance Li. He blinks, steels his glare; “I want — ” He cuts himself off, shifts on his feet. “I – I want…” Nero has never seen the Underground prodigy so nervous. He supposes he's never seen a lot of things.

Nevertheless, he somehow finds it in himself to pity the poor boy, and softens a bit. “Take a seat if you want.” The workshop is empty; they are two of the few unlucky soldiers without family or lovers to come home to.

Li shakes his head, resolute, and hesitates again. “I… was it – was it true?” 

Nero stops. Blinks, and returns his gaze to Li. “You think I'd lie to you?” He may have been drunk enough not to find his way back to his own barracks, but he certainly wasn't drunk enough not to remember all he'd said.

The younger man looks to the floor, mutters a soft yet sure, “No.”

*

A soldier comes flying into Nero's path, and it's only years of experience and extreme skill that propel him to abort his own flight and swing himself the opposite direction of where he was originally going, the speed and force of the manoeuvre so sudden that Nero's ribs hurt in protest. 

Distantly, he listens to the pained grunt of a soldier as he slams against a nearby tree. He lands gracefully next to said soldier, who kneels against said tree, clutching his stomach. 

“I could hear you coming ten miles away, you know.” He tells Li, not bothering to offer a hand up because he wouldn't take it anyway.

Li huffs out an almost sarcastic “Did you?” (almost sarcastic, because Li is physically incapable of ever expressing any emotion other than disdain or anger) before getting up, still grimacing. He turns to Nero, and the older man almost laughs at the sight of Li physically forcing a more neutral expression on his face (almost laughs, because if he had he has no doubt he would have a fist to his jaw within a second). “Tell me how to be better, then.”

Nero blinks. “Huh?”

Li's facade falls, and he looks shy suddenly. Nero remembers the day at the workshop. “You're my mentor after all, aren't you?”

Nero must catch flies from how long he stands there with his mouth hanging open, but when he finally rights himself, he sees pink slowly tinging the younger man's ears, although he adamantly stares at Nero, waiting for his reply. Nero smiles. 

He is found. 

[happyumbrellla]

Snk:Mafia!Omegaverse : Chap 2

Chapter 2 : Survey Corps

Eren did not know how long the car journey took, but it seemed long and terrifying. Seeing nothing, his brain had decided to play the murder scene over and over again while wondering what would happen to him. Even if Levi had told him he wasn't going to sell it or hurt it, how could he be sure? What was Survey Corps? And most importantly, where was he taken?

No words were exchanged in the car, which made the young Omega even more anxious. But Levi's presence helped him to calm down a little... Then the car stopped and Eren heard the doors open. The Alpha shot the brown one at him and helped him out of the vehicle. The blindfold was removed and the young man's eyes needed a few minutes to get used to the luminosity of his environment. The night was contrasted with the two outside lights that lit the front of a gigantic castle. Eren had never seen a building like this before. How many rooms were there? Who owned this... This... This castle? Where was he? :

        -Follow me.

Levi pushed the door and Eren followed him:

        -Good evening Levi.

        -Good evening Ilse. Is Erwin here ?

        -In his office. Do you want me to tell him you’re coming ?

        -Yes. I have to talk to him.

Eren’s brain couldn’t process all the information he received. The place was beautiful and overflowing with luxury. The brown boy had never seen so much wealth in the same place:

        -Eren.

Levi's voice drew him from his thoughts and the young man turned his attention to the Alpha who was already waiting for him on the stairs in front of the front door. The Omega hurried to join the man with black hair and follow him into the labyrinth of the corridor. He stopped in front of a very specific door:

        -You’re about to meet Erwin Smith. Don’t talk unless he asks you or I ask you. Stay behind me and everything will be fine. Understood ?

Eren swallowed and nodded:

        -Good.

Levi knocked on the door and a deep, masculine voice answered:

        -Come in Levi.

He did so and Eren followed him. Erwin's office was big... And the wooden desk was... Imposing :

        -Good evening Levi. What can I do for you ?

The blond man looked up at the two newcomers:

        -Ho. Good evening young man.

Eren nodded shyly:

        -What do you know about the « Garrison » gang ?, Levi asked immediately.

Erwin frowned slightly his thick eyebrows :

        -It’s just a small, insignificant gang. Why ?

        -Because that insignificant little gang tried to kill me today.

The blond Alpha arched an eyebrow:

        -They tried to kill you ? You ? Levi Ackerman, executor of the mafia Survey Corps ?

A feeling of satisfaction invaded Eren, he knew Levi's full name. But that feeling disappeared as quickly as it had appeared when he heard the rest of the sentence. Executor of the MAFIA Survey Corps! Then it wasn't a company name! Levi wasn't a businessman! Tremors began to run through the body of the brown one and fear stained its smell. Erwin got up, his blue eyes riveted on Eren:

        -And who is that young boy with you ?

        -Eren. The owner of the tea salon where the incident took place.

The blond man sketched a smile:

        -The famous Eren…

The young man curled up a little more on him with each step that the great Alpha made towards him. The brown man briefly wondered why he could not smell any pheromone other than Levi’s when he had just got there. Eren was drawn from his reflections when Erwin stopped a meter away and reached out his hand:

        -I’ve heard a lot about you, Eren.

The Omega timidly shook his hand:

        -I’m Erwin Smith, big boss of the Survey Corps Mafia. It is a pleasure to meet the "tea charmer".

The "tea charmer"? Eren's incomprehension had to be read on his face since the blond smiles before continuing :

        -All the Survey Corps members who came to your salon were charmed by the atmosphere, the tea and your delicate personality.

The blond leaned towards the brown boy and inhaled slightly before smiling:

        -The whole surely facilitate by your sweet nature of Omega.

Erwin glanced at Levi:

        -Is the tea to your taste as you say it, you great tea specialist, or is it him?

The man with the crow's hair scolded showing his fangs before declaring in a dry tone:

        -That’s not the point, Erwin.

The named could not help but smile:

        -I know, Levi. I know. Just relax.

        -Do I have a free hand ?

        -Of course.

        -Perfect.

Levi walked to the door :

        -Eren. Come with me.

The young man did not beg to get closer to the Alpha, it was the only face he knew a minimum and his simple proximity reassured Eren :    

        -What are you going to do Levi ?

Levi’s steel eyes looked for a moment at his boss and the black hair man said :

        -Protect him and solve the problem.

Eren was going to open his mouth to talk but Erwin preceded him just before Levi pulled him out of the office:

        -Welcome to Survey Corps Eren, smiled the tall blond man. And Levi, watch him closely. You know how some people behave when they come into contact with an Omega.

What? The Omega stopped behind the door that closed behind him and tore his wrist from Levi's grasp:

        -That’s enough !

Levi turned towards him and the icy look he gave him made him shiver. The young man closed his arms over his own body before looking away:

        -I want to go home.

The adult stepped towards Eren, staring at him:

        -Either you follow me nicely or I drag you myself.

The brown one then challenged Levi with his gaze. He wouldn't move until he was sure it was going to get him back home:

        -All right.

The next second, the Alpha threw him on his shoulder like a bag of potatoes before going back on. Eren blinked several times before shaking his legs and hitting Levi's lower back:

        -Put me down immediately!

The black hair man completely ignored the mass on his shoulder and continued his way through the corridors of the castle. They met Erd a little further:

        -Boss, we got rid of the bodies. And the car is perfectly clean. There’s no trace left.

        -Perfect. Good job, guys. Take the night off. We’re gonna have a long day tomorrow.

        -Understood boss. Have a good night.

        -Good night.

Levo stopped at a particular door and opened it. He entered the room, crossed it and threw Eren on the bed. By the time the brown one straightened up and got up to go after him, the door was closing on the Alpha:

        -You stay here until further notice. Is that clear ?

The brown one tried to turn the handle but the door was locked so he started to pound against the wood of the door:

        -You have no right to lock me up! Let me out of here!

        -You'll be out when the people who invested your tea salon are dead. Not before. Be good and everything will be fine.

After about ten minutes of shouting and banging on the door, Eren finally kicks the door while shouting his frustration. He may have been an Omega, but his past had forged quite a character and he would only bend when he encountered pheromones as dominant and delicious as Levi's. Despite the fact that this Alpha is close by, he wasn't going to let himself down and he was going to get out of this bad step. He had learned, with his sister, to make do with what he could find. So he was gonna find a way to escape. Even if he didn't really know who he was dealing with... The young man's eyes quickly settled on the large windows of the room. He rushed to one of them and opened it wide. The ground was only a few meters away... But he would break his legs if he jumped... The brown one looked around to see that there was no one on this side of the house. It was certainly dark but the few lights in the garden gave a magnificent panorama and the Omega surprised himself to contemplate it a few minutes without moving. But even if the view was beautiful, he had to get out of here and go home to his sister. A shiver of fear ran down the young man's back. Run from the mob? Was that a good idea? Of course not, of course not. But he didn't want to stay here. He wasn't supposed to stay here. Who knows what those people were planning to do to him? Eren rushed to the bed to grab the sheets. He tore it all off the mattress, took one end and tied it to the foot of the radiator. The brown man tested the strength of his ladder by pulling on it before throwing the rest of the sheet out the window:

        -Come on, Eren. Courage, he encouraged himself.

He sat on the ledge of the window before passing one leg to the other side, grabbing the sheet and slowly starting to descend. Although he tried to make as little noise as possible, Eren kept his fingers crossed so that no one would see him escape. The sheet did not reach the ground, so the brown boy dropped the fabric and landed on his feet. The foliage made noise on contact with the Omega. The latter stopped completely and listened. No noise, except from the animals in the woods behind the castle. If he was able to cross the garden without being spotted, he could easily disappear into the woods and bypass the property to reach the road and return home... Or at least find someone to take him home. Eren observed the garden. There was no one there. Should he run as fast as possible or should he be cautious and walk carefully? He bit his lower lip while thinking before blowing a good blow and taking a first step forward. He rushed to a first bush grove and hid behind. He remained silent and motionless to hear if anyone approached... Nobody. The Omega exhaled deeply before repeating the process to the other end of the garden. Eren stopped completely when he heard a cracking sound. His heart was drumming in his chest. He was scared. What would happen to him if he was found out? He had difficulty swallowing his saliva before reopening his eyes, which he had not been aware of having closed. Eren barely came out of hiding to see if he was alone or not. To his great relief, there was no one there. The brown one brought all his attention to the edge of the forest which was now only about ten meters away. He was almost there. He inspired deeply before rushing towards the woods. He started running as fast as he could without turning around. Eren didn't know how long he ran, but now his legs were burning. So he decided to stop for a few minutes. He put his hands on his lap and tried to catch his breath. When he lifted his head up, his eyes failed to come out of their sockets as disillusionment seized his stomach. The Omega approached the half wall on which stood a large fence... He could not cross it. He could not go any further... Eren began to breathe in and out deeply to calm his heart rate and fear. When he was a little calmer, he began to think. If he couldn't get through, he could always follow the wall until he found a hole and sneak in. Then the brown one decided to go to the left. He wouldn't run this time. He wanted to be able to hear if someone approached, and running wouldn't let him. The Omega followed the wall when he heard noises approaching him. The young man tried to smell the air, but his nose was saturated with the smell of the woods... Impossible to know if the sounds came from a human, a lupgaoru or an animal. Then he ran again. He couldn't hide because nothing would allow him to. The brown one finally found a stump and slipped in without hesitation for a second. He curled over himself and put his hand over his mouth to smother his rapid breathing. Eren was terrified. This evening was far too emotionally charged for him, between the murders of the two Betas and his current escape attempt, his heart would finally give out. His whole body was shaking. He closed his eyes as tightly as possible and held his breath as best he could as he heard movement around him:

        -How does Levi want us to track a creature with such a weak smell ?

        -Shup up and concentrate.

        -But I’m concentrating. All I smell are the damn trees and all I hear are the damn animals!

The other man growled before Eren heard them go away. The young Omega reopened his eyes and sighed with relief. The danger was over. Eren shook his head out of hiding and observed the direction in which the two men had gone. He immediately stretched himself when he felt a presence behind him. Then he was grabbed by the arm, pulled out of hiding and got back on his feet. Eren found himself face to face with a tall blond man, muscular, with a beard of a few days. The stranger approached his nose to the young man and smelled him:

        -The sweet scent of an Omega. You’re my prey.

The brown one swallowed. The man was certainly a Beta by his scent, but he was terribly intimidating:

        -I’m taking you back to Levi.

The brown one was, once again, thrown on a shoulder:

        -No ! Put me down… Please… I want… I just want to go home.

        -If your Alpha locked you up, he had a good reason.

Eren stretched himself further and almost choked himself with his saliva:

        -This man is NOT my Alpha.

        -Then why do I feel it all over you ? And why did he lock you in the room next to his ?

        -Because he carried me! And I didn't even know his room was close to this one!

The man stood still :

        -He carried you ?

        -Yes.

        -Levi’s not carrying. Levi's not touching. Levi is a hygiene maniac with very high standards.

        -And Levi kills people ! Is that clean ?

The blond one emitted a strange little laugh while continuing his walk:

        -The murders of Levi and his team are still clean. They leave no trace. So yes, he also applies his obsession to his work.

Eren stopped wriggling for a moment. His work? Levi was paid to kill people? Of course dark moron! Being a mob executor isn't about playing marbles! :

        -His job is to kill people ?

The question was silly and he already knew the answer, but he needed to hear it to get the information into his brain:

        -Yes.

The brown one was silent and remained silent until they arrived at the castle. Levi was a professional assassin... What if he killed him for trying to escape? He now seriously regretted his decision. The blond opened the main veranda door and entered a large, richly decorated living room. The armchairs and sofas looked very comfortable according to Eren. The young man's feet touched the ground again and he was immediately turned to face a brunette woman with glasses. A Beta. A huge smile stretched her lips:

        -The famous Eren ! Oh my god ! That’s fantastic.

She stuck her nose in his neck and inhaled her lungs before moving back and moaning with pleasure:

        -An Omega!

The woman turned all her attention back to the brown boy in front of her:

        -You’re a rare species... And you're so beautiful! A real masterpiece. I'm jealous of Levi. I would kill to own such a jewel.

Eren blushed and became awfully uncomfortable. All those looks at him... He hadn't realized so many people were in the living room before. A small laugh arose in the room:

        -If Levi brought him here, he won't let you touch him, dear.

The brunette squeaked with frustration:

        -Will you ever stop breaking my dreams, Erwin?

        -I’m not breaking your dreams Hanji, I'm just bringing you back to reality. Levi doesn't share what's his.

        -I’m not his, exclaimed Eren.

He surprised everyone. Nobody expected him to talk because he was terrified. Hanji smiles again:

        -Can I have you then?

        -No!

She pouted:

        -Look, I won't say anything, I want to go home.

The silence settled in the room:

        -Poor little thing…

Hanji forced him to sit on one of the chairs and she sat on the coffee table:

        -Everybody out. Except Erwin and Mike.

The other people left the room and soon there were only four people left, including Eren. Erwin got up from his seat with a glass of alcohol in his hand:

        -Don’t you know what Survey Corps is ?

The Omega remembered Erwin's word, but he couldn't say it. Then he opened and closed his mouth several times without any sound coming out. And Erwin finally answers for him. The blond, blue-eyed adult swallowed a sip of the amber liquid in his glass before saying:

        -It's the Maria Wall Mafia. We're the Maria Wall Mafia. Like I told you, I'm the leader. Hanji is our... scientist. Mike is our head of security and new recruit trainer. And Levi is our executor.

        -Why did he bring you here, Hanji asked.

        -I… Some men tried to kill him while he was in my tea room. He brought me back to... I don't really know... Protect me?

The three mobsters looked at each other before the young woman began to wmile:

        -Would our executor become tender?

        -It is not tenderness to protect an innocent person involved in a matter beyond his control.

All turned their attention to the newcomer. Levi's steel eyes were pointed at Eren and he shivered, Alpha's pheromones hitting him hard. He was angry, so the brown one looked down. He didn't want to upset the Alpha any more. The man with black hair came up to the Omega and grabbed his chin to force him to look at him:

        -Did you really think you could escape me?

The young man swallowed and looked away:

        -I’m sorry. I wanted to go home.

        -I told you. You'll go home when I'm sure your tea salon is protected. I wouldn't repeat it, be patient and wise. I don't want to mobilize mob members to find you again. Do I make myself clear?

Eren nodded despite the little movement the Alpha left him:

        -I didn’t hear you.

        -Yes, sir.

Levi smiled slightly before releasing the Omega:

        -Good. Petra will drive you to your room. I'm not going to ask for the windows to be barricaded, so I'm counting on you not to try to escape again.

Eren pinched his lips and nodded. Levi waved at him to stand up and a young redhead approached:

        -Good evening Eren. If you will follow me, she said with a huge smile.

The young man began to stare at his feet while following Petra. Silence reigned between them until they arrived at the door of the room:

        -Levi may seem cold and hard to you, but he always acts for good reason. And he keeps his word. If he promised you you'd go home, you'll go home.

The red-headed Beta gave him a friendly and warm smile before opening the door and letting him in:

        -I go you some pajamas for the night.

        -Thank you.

        -Please. If you need anything, my room is across the street. Do not hesitate.

Eren manages to offer her a sincere smile before she closes the door behind her. If Eren approached the window, he simply drew the curtains for the night, not without having taken a few minutes to observe the garden in the light of the moon and the few lights present. He started to take off his clothes and remembered that he had his phone with him. What an idiot! He could have called for help. His fingers stopped above the screen as he was about to call the police... He had already upset Levi once tonight and was in the heart of mafia territory. Was it really a good idea to contact the police? Probably not. Better keep a low profile until tomorrow. Eren put her phone on the bedside table and slowly took off her clothes to put on the blue cotton pajamas Petra had left for him. Then he rolled into a ball in the blankets after turning off the lights and tried to sleep. But he thought too much for that. His life would never be the same again after coming into contact with the mafia, even if that contact had been accidental. For all we know, he now had a target engraved on his back. Perhaps he was soon to be murdered to hold the teahouse where mobsters regularly visited. Eren closed his eyes and a first tear rolled down his cheek. After everything he'd been through, he didn't deserve this. He did not deserve such problems. Why couldn't he have common problems, like a power cut? The young man turned long in the sheets in search of sleep, in vain. He was scared, stressed and felt in danger. He missed Levi. His pheromones and presence had given him an intense sense of security a few hours before. But on the one hand, he was also afraid of Levi. Although he protected him, this man was a Mafia assassin... The Mafia executor. The young man suddenly stood up in bed and heard the door open. His senses did not deceive Eren, it was Levi. The light from the hallway filtered a little into the bedroom. Levi closed the door behind him as Eren jumped to the bedside lamp and lit it. The Omega watched the dark-haired man approach him and sit on the bed before looking away to stare at his hands playing with the sheets..:

        -I know this must all seem strange and crazy to you. But I promise you're safe here and you'll be home soon.  

The young man nodded gently while continuing to stare at his fingers. Levi sighed slightly before brushing with his fingertips the right cheek of the Omega to wipe the wet trace left by his tears. The latter shivered and looked up to stare at the other man:

        -You’re one of the few people in this world who has nothing to fear from me, Eren. I wouldn't hurt you and I wouldn't let anyone hurt you.

Eren saw only sincerity in Levi's eyes and the feeling of security he had felt near him returned, calming his fear and the beating of his heart. As the Alpha got up, the brown one's instinct took over and he grabbed his wrist. Levi turned his head sharply towards him and met the watery eyes of the Omega:

        -Stay with me.

The Alpha remained forbidden for a moment before saying:

        -Are you sure ?

Eren nodded frantically. Even though he knew Levi was a living danger, he couldn't help but think that the black hair man had protected him and was still protecting him right now:

        -I… I… Please.

Levi nodded :

        -All right. I’ll get something to change and I’ll be right back.

The Omega hardly let him go. What if he doesn't come back? Was he gonna leave him here alone? He could. They didn't know each other, didn't owe each other anything. And although he was an Omega, there was nothing forcing the Alpha to reassure and protect him. Brown was drawn from his thoughts by the reopening of his door and Levi's return. He went to the bathroom and changed there. He comes back bare-chested with black cotton pants. Eren blushed and looked away. The man with black hair lay down to the right of the youngest and closed his eyes:

        -Do you feel better?

        -..Yes.

        -Then sleep.

Eren turned off the lamp and extended himself. Levi's presence and his warmth reassured the Omega that was Eren to the point that he fell asleep.

Masterlist

© 2018 - Happy Umbrellla - All Rights Reserved. No reposting and/or modifying of any form on any media is allowed. No translations allowed. 

[newstfionline]

Gen Z Is Coming to Your Office

By Janet Adamy, WSJ, Sept. 6, 2018

Sean McKeon was 11 years old when the 2008 financial crisis shot anxiety through his life in Hudson, Ohio. He remembers his father coming home stressed after the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. took over the bank where he worked. A teacher asked classmates if their parents cut back that Christmas. They all said yes.

That unsettling time shaped the job plans he hatched in high school. “I needed to work really hard and find a career that’s recession-proof,” says Mr. McKeon, now 21. He set his sights on a Big Four accounting firm. He interned at EY in Cleveland and will become an auditor there after graduating from Miami University in Oxford, Ohio, next year.

About 17 million members of Generation Z are now adults and starting to enter the U.S. workforce, and employers haven’t seen a generation like this since the Great Depression. They came of age during recessions, financial crises, war, terror threats, school shootings and under the constant glare of technology and social media. The broad result is a scarred generation, cautious and hardened by economic and social turbulence.

Gen Z totals about 67 million, including those born roughly beginning in 1997 up until a few years ago. Its members are more eager to get rich than the past three generations but are less interested in owning their own businesses, according to surveys. As teenagers many postponed risk-taking rites of passage such as sex, drinking and getting driver’s licenses. Now they are eschewing student debt, having seen prior generations drive it to records, and trying to forge careers that can withstand economic crisis.

Early signs suggest Gen Z workers are more competitive and pragmatic, but also more anxious and reserved, than millennials, the generation of 72 million born from 1981 to 1996, according to executives, managers, generational consultants and multidecade studies of young people. Gen Zers are also the most racially diverse generation in American history: Almost half are a race other than non-Hispanic white.

With the generation of baby boomers retiring and unemployment at historic lows, Gen Z is filling immense gaps in the workforce. Employers, plagued by worker shortages, are trying to adapt.

LinkedIn Corp. and Intuit Inc. have eased requirements that certain hires hold bachelor’s degrees to reach young adults who couldn’t afford college. At campus recruiting events, EY is raffling off computer tablets because competition for top talent is intense.

Companies are reworking training so it replicates YouTube-style videos that appeal to Gen Z workers reared on smartphones.

“They learn new information much more quickly than their predecessors,” says Ray Blanchette, CEO of Ruby Tuesday Inc., which introduced phone videos to teach young workers to grill burgers and slow-cook ribs. Growing up immersed in mobile technology also means “it’s not natural or comfortable for them necessarily to interact one-on-one,” he says.

Demographers see parallels with the Silent Generation, a parsimonious batch born between 1928 and 1945 that carried the economic scars of the Great Depression and World War II into adulthood while reaping the rewards of a booming postwar economy in the 1950s and 1960s. Gen Z is setting out in the workplace at one of the most opportune times in decades, with an unemployment rate of 4%.

“They’re more like children of the 1930s, if children of the 1930s had learned to think, learn and communicate while attached to hand-held supercomputers,” says Bruce Tulgan, a management consultant at RainmakerThinking in Whitneyville, Conn.

Gen Z’s attitudes about work reflect a craving for financial security. The share of college freshmen nationwide who prioritize becoming well off rose to around 82% when Gen Z began entering college a few years ago, according to the University of California, Los Angeles. That is the highest level since the school began surveying the subject in 1966. The lowest point was 36% in 1970.

The oldest Gen Zers also are more interested in making work a central part of their lives and are more willing to work overtime than most millennials, according to the University of Michigan’s annual survey of teens.

“They have a stronger work ethic,” says Jean Twenge, a San Diego State University psychology professor whose book “iGen” analyzes the group. “They’re really scared that they’re not going to get the good job that everybody says they need to make it.”

Just 30% of 12th-graders wanted to be self-employed in 2016, according to the Michigan survey, which has measured teen attitudes and behaviors since the mid-1970s. That is a lower rate than baby boomers, Gen X, the group born between 1965 and 1980, and most millennials when they were high-school seniors. Gen Z’s name follows Gen X and Gen Y, an early moniker for the millennial generation.

College Works Painting, which hires about 1,600 college students a year to run small painting businesses across the country, is having difficulty hiring branch managers because few applicants have entrepreneurial skills, says Matt Stewart, the Irvine, Calif., company’s co-founder.

“Your risk is failure, and I do think people are more afraid of failure than they used to be,” he says.

A few years ago Mr. Stewart noticed that Gen Z hires behaved differently than their predecessors. When the company launched a project to support branch managers, millennials excitedly teamed up and worked together. Gen Z workers wanted individual recognition and extra pay. The company introduced bonuses of up to $3,000 to encourage them to participate.

After seeing their millennial predecessors drown in student debt, Gen Z is trying to avoid that fate. The share of freshmen who used loans to pay for college peaked in 2009 at 53% and has declined almost every year since, falling to 47% in 2016, according to the UCLA survey.

Denise Villa, chief executive of the Center for Generational Kinetics in Austin, says focus groups show some Gen Z members are choosing less-expensive, lower-status colleges to lessen debt loads. Federal Reserve Bank of New York data show that nationwide, overall student loan balances have grown at an average annual rate of 6% in the past four years, down sharply from a 16% annual growth rate in the previous decade.

Lana Demelo, a 20-year-old in San Jose, Calif., saw her older sister take on debt when she became the first person in their family to attend college. “I just watched her go through all those pressures and I felt like me personally, I didn’t want to go through them,” says Ms. Demelo. She enrolled in Year Up, a work training program that places low-income high-school graduates in internships, got hired as a project coordinator at LinkedIn and attends De Anza College in Cupertino part-time.

Gen Z is literally sober. Data from the Michigan survey and federal statistics show they were less likely to have tried alcohol, gotten their driver’s licenses, had sex or gone out regularly without their parents than teens of the previous two or three generations, Ms. Twenge, the San Diego State professor, found.

They grew up trusting adults, and Gen Z employees want managers who will step in to help them handle uncomfortable situations like conflicts with co-workers and provide granular feedback, says Mr. Tulgan, the management consultant.

When Mr. Tulgan’s company surveyed thousands of Gen Z members about what mattered most to them at work, he heard repeatedly that they wanted a “safe environment.” He is advising clients to create small work teams so managers have time to nurture them.

“I was in no rush to get a driver’s license,” says Joshua Berja, a 21-year-old San Francisco resident who waited until he turned 18 to get one. He lives with his parents to save money, runs errands for his mother and picks his father up from work.

Gen Z is reporting higher levels of anxiety and depression as teens and young adults than previous generations. About one in eight college freshmen felt depressed frequently in 2016, the highest level since UCLA began tracking it more than three decades ago.

That is one reason EY three years ago launched a program originally called “are u ok?”--now called “We Care”--a companywide mental health program that includes a hotline for struggling workers.

Mr. Stewart, of College Works Painting, says he wasn’t aware of any depressed employees 15 years ago but now deals frequently with workers battling mental-health issues. He says he has two workers with bipolar disorder that the company wants to promote but can’t “because they’ll disappear for a week at a time on the down cycle.”

Smartphones may be partly to blame. Much of Gen Z’s socializing takes place via text messages and social media platforms--a shift that has eroded natural interactions and allowed bullying to play out in front of wider audiences.

In the small town of Conneaut Lake, Penn., Corrina Del Greco and her friends joined Snapchat and Instagram in middle school. Ms. Del Greco, 19, checked them every hour and fended off requests for prurient photos from boys. She shut down her social media accounts after deciding they “had a little too much power over my self-esteem,” she said.

That has helped her focus on studying at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach, Fla., to become a software engineer, a career she sees as recession-proof. When the last downturn hit, she remembers cutting back on gas and eating out because her parents’ music-lesson business softened.

“I learned a lot about the value of money,” she says. “I’ve always wanted to have a very secure lifestyle, secure income.”

She says the negative experience with social media made her want a professional LinkedIn page, and she took a seminar at college to learn how to do that.

The flip side of being digital natives is that Gen Z is even more adept with technology than millennials. Natasha Stough, Americas campus recruiting director at EY in Chicago, was wowed by a young hire who created a bot to answer questions on the company’s Facebook careers page.

To lure more Gen Z workers, EY rolled out video technology that allows job candidates to record answers to interview questions and submit them electronically.

Getting employees comfortable with face-to-face interactions takes work, Ms. Stough says. “We do have to coach our interns, ‘If you’re sitting five seats away from the client and they’re around the corner, go talk to them.’”

Mr. McKeon, the Ohio student, sees a silver lining growing up during tumultuous times. He used money from his grandfather and jobs at McDonald’s and a house painting company to build a stock portfolio now worth about $5,000. He took school more seriously knowing that “the world’s gotten a lot more competitive.”

“With any hardship that people endure in life, they either get stronger or it paralyzes them,” Mr. McKeon says. “These hardships have offered a great opportunity for us to get stronger.”

[happyumbrellla]

Snk:Mafia!Omegaverse : Chap 3

Chapter 3 : Back home

Eren woke up slowly and flickered his eyes to get them used to the dim light in the room. He was fine there. He was warm, in a cocoon of safety and tranquillity. The smile that had begun to form on his lips stopped sharply when he realized that the cocoon in question was due to the fact that he was snuggled up against Levi and that Levi's arms had wrapped around him to hold him in that position. If Levi had been his Alpha, this situation would have been completely normal and healthy. But the black-haired man was NOT his Alpha. How did they end up like this? The young man looked up at his "cushion" and was surprised. The older man's features were devoid of all their usual coldness. They were relaxed, calm, quiet... Eren couldn't help but find him even more beautiful than usual. The Omega bit his lower lip wondering if he would feel it if he touched it, just a little... His fingers lifted gently to rest gently on the Alpha's left cheek. He caressed it lightly and was surprised to find that the white skin of the Survey Corps executor was terribly soft. Levi's jaw contracted under the caress and his hand fell on Eren's wrist to brutally move the hand away from his face. The brown one claps with surprise and pain. Levi's steel eyes opened and immediately landed on Eren. The latter swallows:

        -Sorry… I didn’t mean to wake you.

Levi did not answer but glanced at what he held in his hand, the brown one's wrist. He released him gently:

        -I’m sorry.

Eren blinked several times while rubbing his wrist. He was surprised that the Alpha apologized. The two men stood up in a seated position:

        -Did I hurt you?

        -… A little. But it’s okay.

The black-haired man observed the red mark around the young man's wrist:

        -My mother always taught me not to hurt an Omega. She taught me to respect and protect them.

Eren and Levi remained silent, detailing each other:

        -What happens now ?, ends up asking for the Omega.

        -Now you are officially on the list of Omegas on our territory.

        -... What does that mean ?

Levi left the bed and moved towards the wardrobe, under Eren's gaze:

        -For Survey Corps, Omegas are treasures that must be protected and preserved. So we found and listed all of them on our territory. Today, they all have effective close protection. And soon, you too.

The Omega had trouble integrating all the information he had just received, too distracted by Levi's muscles. Eren fought with all his strength not to get up and snuggle up against that muscular body that was screaming, "I am capable of protecting you and our future puppies". The young man shook his head. What were those thoughts? Stay focused, Eren! :

        -Do you control the Omegas ?

        -No. They live their lives freely and independently of us. Our job is simply to protect them, no more, no less.

Eren straightened himself up more:

        -Does that mean I'm not gonna stay here and be locked up?  

        -Of course not. I'm gonna take you home and put everything in place so you can get on with your life as it was before... Well, almost.

        -Almost ?

        -You didn’t have a bodyguard before.

        -But… But I don’t want to have someone behind me all the time…

The Alpha brought his attention to him, ceasing to search the wardrobe for clothes to his size:

        -Are you sure about that ? You seemed happy that I was protecting you last night and staying with you tonight.

Eren blushes. It' s true that he had asked Levi to stay with him yesterday to continue to feel safe... He had needed it... It was his nature :

        -It’s not the same.

        -How is it different ?

The young man frowned before getting up to stand in front of the Alpha. Eren was perhaps an Omega who was dying to submit to Levi, but at that moment he was mostly an angry Omega. He was not responsible for the events of the previous day. It was all Levi's fault. And he was gonna tell him, even though the Alpha could probably kill him without leaving a trace. He refused to have someone following him around, let alone a mob man:

        -It's different because yesterday's events took place because of you! It's for you that these guys came! Not for me! So yes, I'm glad you stayed with me, but you owed me a lot. It's your fault I needed to feel safe!

Levi smiled slightly amused, which shocked Eren:

        -Why did you seek security from me if I am the source of your "misfortune"?

        -Because you proved you were strong enough to protect me!

The Alpha growled with satisfaction and Eren bit his lower lip. He had said too much but he was happy to have satisfied the black-haired man. Wait a minute, why was he happy that he satisfied Levi? He wasn't his Alpha..." Not yet," a little voice blew into his head. The brown one would have given himself a slap if Levi's fingers had not taken his chin between his fingers to hold him in place and force eye contact. The young man shivered as he felt the gentle burning of Levi's fingers on his skin:

        -And I’ll keep proving it to you until I die.

The young man blinked several times, not sure if he had heard correctly, even though he felt his Omega instinct purring with happiness..:

        -What… What do you mean ?

        -That I will personally take care of your protection.

Eren’s eyes opened wide :

        -What?

        -Am I not the best placed ? I already protected you and were satisfied.

The brown one opened his mouth, he needed more air. It wasn't possible, he must have been cursed. There was no other explanation. The Alpha he found handsome and attractive would stay with him to protect him? Seriously? Fate was against him... Moreover that Eren was a young Omega who still had difficulty to control his instincts and his pheromones at times... Then with an Alpha which made him so much effects... He was really going to have trouble...:

        -Get dressed, I’ll take home.

He didn't have to repeat it. Eren picked up his clothes from the night before and went to the bathroom. The Omega desperately wanted to go home and get away from all this. He tried to calm down when he heard knocks against the bathroom door:

        -Meet me in the hall when you're done. It is at the bottom of the stairs that you will find following the corridor to your left.

        -O-Okay.

Damn it, damn it! Five minutes ago, he was angry with Levi and it took a few words and a simple touch to make him completely harmless. What would it do if Levi used his pheromones on him? The brown one looked up at his reflection and wondered, how did he get there? How was he gonna handle that? How was he gonna keep that from his sister? How could I hide from him that a member of the mafia was now protecting him? And not just any member, the executor of Survey Corps. What would Mikasa think if she found out? Would he be arrested for association with an organized gang? The young man took a deep breath to calm himself. He had never had panic attacks, but if he didn't calm down, he was sure he was going to have one. And it wasn't the time, not at all. The Omega had to concentrate, he had to have clear ideas to react quickly when needed and to make the right decisions to ensure his return home. Levi had said he was going home, but he didn't know how much he could trust him. Maybe the Alpha lied to him and was going to lock him up somewhere to take advantage of him. Eren finished dressing, slowly opened the bathroom door, noticed that he was alone and rushed to the bedside table to get his phone. He had received a message from his sister. She had not yet returned from her night patrol because there was a problem at the station, but nothing serious according to her. Eren sighed with relief, he had a little time to get home before he had to justify himself. But now he had to hurry back to Levi to take him home. He quickly crossed the room to reach the door and open it on the fly before throwing himself into the corridor. The brown boy followed Levi's instructions and found the stairs to the large hall without any problem. He found the black-haired man at the bottom of the stairs, talking with Erd and Gunther.

Eren slowly went down the stairs, as a precaution, and slowed down further when the trio turned their attention to him:

        -You know what you have to do.

The two Betas nodded before going out by the front door. The brown one swallowed. He always had trouble managing Alpha's full and complete attention on him but now that he knew Levi was the mafia's main assassin, he was terribly anxious to be the object of his full attention:

        -Are you ready ?

        -Yes.

Eren’s voice was clearly uncertain and weak:

        -Perfect. Gunther went to get the car.

The brown boy nodded before staring at the magnificent floor of the hall:

        -Are you okay?

He was probably referring to his wrist :

       -… Yes. Yes.

Levi's tongue clacked into an unsatisfied sound:

        -Don’t lie to me.

The hand of the black-haired man grabs the jaw of the Omega to raise his head enough for them to look at each other:

        -I don’t like liars, Eren. I punish liars. Do you want me to punish you?

Eren swallowed as his cheeks began to burn. If he had first thought about torture, because he had no doubt that Levi had to torture people, he quickly changed his mind. The perverse glare in the other man's steel eyes indicated to him that it was not torture... At least not of the bloody kind :

        -No.

        -No who?

        -No sir.

        -Good boy.

The Omega shivered. He liked the nickname too much. And he was, once again, happy to have satisfied the Alpha. And once again, he felt like hitting himself to get his ideas straight. So yes, Levi was handsome. Yes, Levi had proven his ability as a protector. Yes, the Alpha's pheromones impacted him far more than any Alpha he'd met and made him want to let Levi take care of him, in every sense of the word. But he wasn't supposed to listen to his instincts! Levi was dangerous, lethal and an important member of the mafia. No Omega deserved such an Alpha, because being with him was like putting himself in danger. Eren wasn't stupid, Levi's enemies would go after his Omega to get to him. And the young man refused to become a moving target! The castle door opened on Gunther, interrupting Eren's thoughts. He would have turned his head towards the newcomer, but Levi's hand stopped him, maintaining their eye contact:

        -The car’s here, boss.

The Alpha released its prey and stepped back:

        -Perfect. If you’ll bother.

Eren didn’t make him repeat it and moved towards the Beta which held the door for him :

        -Thank you, he said softly.

        -Please.

Daylight gave a whole new look to the stone structure. And the young man could see how beautiful the castle was. He wasn't really that scary. Erd opened the car door for him:

        -Thank you.

        -You’re welcome.

The brown one silently climbed into the same car as the night before and took the same place. He laid his hands flat on his lap. He had to calm down, especially since if he trusted Levi's words, no one here would hurt him, on the contrary. He concentrated on his breathing to try to calm his anguish and fear. He hardly realized that now he was definitely linked to the mafia because of his Omega nature. The bench collapsed slightly under the weight of a new arrival. Eren easily recognized Levi's smell:

        -Come here.

The brown one saw the blindfold and chose not to resist, he wanted to go home as soon as possible. The Omega closed his eyes to let the black-haired man tie the blindfold around his head to hide his eyes and he didn’t move:

        -That’s good, Levi whispered.

The brown one bit his lip. He shouldn't show that he was happy:

        -In the city center Gunther.

        -Yes boss.

And the car set off. Eren instinctively searched for Levi's hand. He still didn't like having his eyesight blocked. Fingers were tied to his:

        -I’m here.

The brown boy squeezed his neighbour's hand and relaxed a little. The journey seemed as long as the day before, although he felt a little less stressed.

  The blindfold was removed from Eren's eyes and he could see that the car was parked in the parking of the grocery store where he went shopping every Sunday morning. That's when the market was also held, not far from the grocery store:

        -What are we doing here?

        -One, I need to check that the perimeter around the tea salon is secure. Two, you need an alibi for your sister, right? Then tell her you got out early to go shopping.

Ho… Yes. That was a good idea:

        -Do we agree that you won’t tell anyone about this?

Eren swallowed before nodding. He wouldn't say anything. He had to think of his sister. Even if she were a police officer, she couldn't do anything if Levi came after her:

        -Good, said the Alpha.

Levi stuffed his hand into the inside pocket of his jacket and Eren contracted when he saw the leather harness that allowed the Alpha's weapons to hold along his ribs. The dark-haired man took out his wallet and handed a $100 bill to the Omega. The latter blinked, uncertain:

        -For your groceries.

        -I…

        -You don’t have your wallet on you.

Yes, it was a fact. Last night, he was kidnapped without taking his wallet. Eren's fingers slowly grabbed the money:

        -I’ll… I’ll pay it back.

Levi's tongue clacked in a disapproving sound:

        -Stop talking nonsense, go shopping and go home.

        -But…

        -Now.

The brown one jumped in front of the authoritarian tone used. He opened the door, got out of the vehicle and slammed the door behind him. The car soon set out again. Eren watched it go away and wondered what he should do now. Shopping for his alibi, yes, but then what? Levi had told him that he would always be in his shadow to protect him, but he had never needed anyone, except his sister, to protect him, it was not now that it was going to start. And even if he was going to have to fight against his instinct which seemed to adore Levi a little too much, he would do it, to preserve his dignity and his independence. The young man stuffed the money in his pocket and headed for the entrance to the grocery store. He took a basket and began to walk through the shelves while asking himself a whole bunch of questions. What was going to happen now? Eren froze, and if Mikasa arrested him the second he set foot in the apartment? What if she already knew everything? The anxiety returned in force and the young man began to tremble. He didn't want to go to jail. Who knows what happened to the Omegas in prison? He didn't want to be raped, especially since he was still a virgin...:

        -Are you all right?

Eren turned his head to see an old lady, A Beta:

        -Y-Yes.

        -Are you sure about this? You’re shaking…

The young man swallowed:

        -It’s just… I… I’ve been thinking about something bad and I’m flush… Sorry…

        -Don’t apologize, young man. We all have our ups and downs. Take care of yourself.

She gently stroked his back before moving away. Eren turned his attention to the pieces of meat in front of him. Maybe Levi would reduce him to that if he told anyone about last night... Especially his sister who was a cop. The tremors returned and the brown forced himself to control his breathing to calm himself. Then he concentrated on what he needed for the tea salon and the apartment. He gradually calculated the amount of the bill to come, trying to take only the strict necessary not to abuse the money that Alpha had lent him. The cashier made the big eyes when she saw the 100 banknote but accepted it anyway. Eren stuffed the change in his pocket before leaving with his two shopping bags. Levi's car was nowhere in the parking, so he took the path home on foot. After a few meters, he wondered how he could get home without his keys, which he had left behind the counter the day before... Turning at the corner of his street, Eren stopped. Who was that suspicious individual camped against the living room door? The brown boy swallowed before advancing slowly while praying that his "bodyguard" is not far away:

        -Hello ?

The stranger turned to him and handed him… His keys:

        -We delayed your sister. Do what you have to do so she doesn't suspect anything.

And he left. The Omega remained completely immobile to stare at his keys. He had difficulty integrating a new aspect of his life: he was indebted to the mafia. And thanks to his Omega nature, he would still be under his control from now on. In the movies, being indebted to the mafia meant repayment at one time or another, and Eren had almost nothing, so how to repay? And being connected to the mafia often meant being loyal and faithful to the organization. He did not have a strong taste for illegality and his sister was a policewoman, so it was difficult for him to imagine taking the oath...  The brown one sighed, he couldn't change anything to his current situation, so he tried as hard as he could to keep up appearances in front of his sister to spare her from being involved in this dirty story. He turned the key in the lock and froze again when he saw the scene. The tea salon was totally clean. There was no indication of the events of the previous day. There was no more blood, no more bodies, no more bullet holes. Nothing. It was as if no double murder had taken place here. But Eren's mind knew the truth, and he could perfectly see the fall of the bodies and hear the sound of the shots exchanged. His heart began to beat in his ears, louder and louder and his breathing became faster and faster. The tremors soon arrived and he would have collapsed to the ground if a voice had not pulled him out of his state of shock:

        -Eren !

The boy turned his head towards the voice and sighed with relief. It was Mikasa. When she was at his level, he hugged her with all his strength:

        -I’m fine, Eren. I’m fine.

The brown one always worried a lot about her sister when she was on the field. And even more after what happened yesterday. Eren was really reassured to see that Levi had not touched his sister. Levi had kept his word:

        -Are you all right ?

        -Y-Yes.

        -Are you sure ? I can feel you’re scared.

        -I… I’m not reassured when you’re on night patrol…

Mikasa tousled his hair:

        -Everything went well. The night was pretty quiet and it wasn't a major incident this morning.

Eren was so relieved:

        -Everything went well on your end ?

The brown one swallowed. He had to quickly find a lie. He had to lie to his sister... to a police officer...:

        -Euh… Yes. Yes. I cleaned the tea salon from top to bottom last night. And this morning, I went shopping.

        -And you haven’t showered since yesterday?

        -… No. Why ? Why ?

        -Because you stink of that dwarf Alpha.

That's what Mikasa called Levi. They didn't love each other. When the two Alphas were in the same room, they would shoot each other with their eyes and try to make the other bend with pheromones. It was always Eren who asked his sister to stop because it made him uncomfortable:

        -Do you know he has a name?

        -I don’t care. I'll get the groceries, go take a shower. You stink.

The Omega could not help laughing and it did him the greatest good. He let his sister take the shopping bags and cross the tea room first:

        -Are you coming?

        -Y-Yes.

The young man gathered his courage and entered the tea salon before locking the door behind him. Eren walked towards the "private" door of the tea salon, leading to their apartment. The brown boy forced himself not to look at the floor on which he stepped as he walked past the counter. He remembered perfectly that one of the two Betas had died... :

        -Are you sure everything’s okay? You seem tense…

        -It’s… It’s nothing. I’m just thinking about what I need to prepare for tomorrow.

        -It’s still early Eren. Try to think of something other than your work at least until this afternoon.

The young man nodded, it wasn't going to be very difficult. There were a lot of things going through his mind right now. Like not letting yourself be overwhelmed by fear and panic for example. Taking a shower was the best thing that happened to him since this morning. Well... Almost. The warm water running through his body was slowly but surely relaxing his muscles, tense with fear, anxiety and stress since last night. He used to put his hands on his skin to wash himself but he couldn't rub hard where Levi had touched him... His instinct was to keep a trace of the Alpha. Eren finally sighed and stopped fighting his instincts. The Omega was drying his hair when he heard his phone ring. His jaw failed to touch the ground and his eyes almost went out of their orbits when he saw the name of the person calling him..; « Levi A. ». Since when did he have his number? The young man answered trembling:

        -Hello?

        -Have you arrived safely?

        -Y-Yes.

        -Perfect. Is your sister with you?

        -She’s here, yes.

        -Perfect. I’ll stop by tomorrow. Have a nice day.

Eren had no time to answer anything since the Alpha had already hung up. The brown boy stared at his phone for a moment without saying anything. How did he get his number? And how did he save it in his repertory? Did the mafias have any contacts in the phone business? If it did, why didn't you just track his phone and find out where he was instead of calling him? :

        -Who was that?, Mikasa asked through the bathroom door.

"Oh nobody. Just Levi. You know, the executor of the mafia Survey Corps," thought Eren. He definitely couldn't tell that to his sister:

        -He definitely couldn’t tell that to his sister.

        -Nobody.

        -You know, if you want to tell me it's none of my business, you can. I promised to respect your privacy as much as I could and I would keep my word... To a certain extent...

The Omega looked up to the sky:

        -It was really nobody. Don’t worry about it.

The brown one finished drying his hair before leaving the place to his sister. He took something to nibble on, after all, he hadn't eaten this morning before he sat on the couch and stared at his phone again. Why did Levi call him? Eren began to bite his lower lip. He was curious, he wanted to know, but was it a good idea to interrogate a mobster? Probably not. Then, reluctantly and with all his will, he put his phone in his pocket and turned on the TV to occupy his mind. At least, to direct him towards something other than "Levi". Mikasa took over from the television when she finished her shower:

        -How was your day?, he asked.

At first, the young Alpha never talked about her work with Eren, but over the months, she eventually needed the attentive ear and gentleness of her brother's Omega to overcome certain cases. Today, although she didn't give Eren any details, she talked a little more about certain investigations, even going so far as to give her brother her own conclusions. And when the brown one asked a little too many questions, Mikasa answered him this:

        -The less you know, the safer you are.

Masterlist

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