#he's a no-op trans man who accepts most pronouns hope this helps

[psyxmantis]

trans luffy indulgence 🫶

[captainsquality]

OP I love this post and its positivity and i hope that it is okay for me to add some of my own similar experiences with that as a trans man(tho from like a decade ago bc thats when i came out and socially transitioned)

-this was before i dropped outta college so I had acquaintances and stuff from uni who were cisdudes and SO many of them started immediately giving me the whole ‘brohug’ greeting after I came out and it was actually really touching

-all my professors at uni quickly picked up, accepted and used my preferred name and pronouns

-a couple of times i had male classmates that i didn’t really know at all pipe up and correct someone who misgendered me in class or tried to squawk at me for being in the mens room. i have a vague memory of one such time when a dude’s friend called him out immediately like ‘dude shut the FUCK up he’s just here to piss get a grip.’ i hope that guy is doing well lol

-first time seeing me presenting male/wearing a binder after coming out, my friend’s dad said that it was the most at ease and ‘myself’ he had ever seen me, and said ‘you’re gonna do great, bud’

-gal 10y older than me who had been my art tutor since my teens(and is still essentially my big sister) immediately got in touch to take me out shopping and get me some PROPER GUY CLOTHES bc I shouldn’t have to just go back to my big brother’s hand-me-downs

-My at the time 6-7 year old youngest cousin Wyatt who had always been very attached to me accepted it all naturally and was the first member of my extended family to start using my preferred name and pronouns

-my oldest brother and his now ex-wife(still a family friend) immediately switched to referring to me as ‘uncle [name]’ with their still v young oldest kids and even asked if I had recommendation for picture books that helped break down the concept of gender dysphoria so they could address my experience and situation directly and honestly as their little ones got older

-my friend hannah crocheted a prayer shawl for me after i came out that is a trans pride flag. I was raised protestant and am more agnostic now, but still very spiritual and it’s still one of my most prized possessions.

The world is indeed full of people and administration and laws that try to beat us down, wipe us out, erase us, reject us.

But there are also many, many wonderful people- even many who will just be passing strangers to us in the long run- who will affirm and support us.

There is a lot about coming out and transitioning that can be difficult and painful, but please please PLEASE everyone you gotta know, there’s also a lot of goodness and joy and love to be found.

The worst thing you can do, as someone who has recently realised they are transfem, is to let terves and transphobes convince you cis women will never accept you.

I was told that when I came out everyone would reject me. That I would find myself isolated from the world, and from other women especially, who would react to me with horror and revulsion.

In reality, within the first months of coming out, in no particular order:

My sister's reaction on my coming out was, "Right, so I have a sister instead of a brother. Cool. I'm taking you clothes shopping tomorrow."

A friend, when she learned I am a woman, immediately invited me to her women-only, girls-night-out birthday party the following week.

Another friend, when a friend of hers expressed doubts about my gender, immediately shut them down and reaffirmed I am a woman.

I went camping with a group of friends, and we had two tents, one for the boys and one for the girls; I was unsure as to which I should enter, to which a girl friend responded by grabbing me and physically dragging me inside the women's tent.

In the women's bathroom at a movie theatre a random woman, whom I'd never seen before and haven't seen since, stopped me as I was going into a stall, to warn me there was no toilet paper in there, because she'd just used the last of it.

All of these, and more, some from friends, some from complete strangers. All within a few months, as a trans woman who hadn't started medical transition yet, and was very visible as being a trans woman.

I've had some people reject me, true, but the vast majority, including almost all cis women, accepted me as a sister with open arms.

Cis women are cool. It's terves who are bigots.

[lesbianau]

I'm a trans mtf gal majoring in LGBT/queer studies so I'd just like to add something! English isn't my first language rip so I apologize for my grammar. But there was so much misinformation being promoted yesterday and from what I could tell the op's of these posts were mostly cisgender? Which is so so uncomfortable. The idea of these messages from cis people on gender being cemented in this fandom as the acceptable way to talk about gender is a bit distressing. And from what I can(...)

tell from following you is that you’ve been very respectful about this topic from the posts you reblogged so overall I feel comfortable sharing this message with you. Since it seems like others who tried to do the same thing were met with hostility and anger. So to get to the point, I’d just like to say that from where I stand, with both academic and personal experience with this, er, discourse, is a few things. A lot of people have already said this and for whatever reason(…)

it’s been rejected. Which is bad! Let me make this clear: gender exists as a mental, emotional, and physical spectrum. It’s incredibly complex. A queer person’s experience with gender is their own to put into words. No one else can. This goes for gender identity and gender expression. The reason why it’s such a sensitive topic is because the idea of gender we know know comes from a misogynistic, homophobic, and transphobic society. When you assign gender- that is, categorize(…)

(I’m putting the rest under the cut, but this is a very interesting read i highly recommend)

anything at all as either feminine or masculine- you are by default perpetuating those standards. Pink is not feminine, blue is not masculine, sewing is not feminine, woodwork is not masculine, certain manners of speech or dress or walk or physical features- none of these things that are gendered. Society assigned them genders and decided to shape us around it. It is through this idea that queer people experience oppression, shame and violence. It is because of it. And as(…)

long as we continue to live in this society it’s an influence that we cannot escape. It shapes us, our perception and our beliefs on a subconscious level whether we like it or not. To change it would mean undoing centuries of social conditioning on a global scale. It just can’t be done. What we can only do is decide for ourselves our own feelings with gender, sexuality, etc. We weren’t born with the perks of falling into every societal standard demanded of us. As a result(…)

we are forced to examine our identities and try to make sense of what makes us feel a disconnect with the identity we’re told we must have. For some it’s a journey away from those societal standards entirely. For others it’s about finding a more comfortable spot within those norms. There is no invalid way of experiencing this. For gender specifically the experience is even more nuanced, confusing and delicate. This is because the further away one strays from gender norms(…)

specifically the greater the danger. There can be fatal consequences to simply existing as a trans individual. Both from violence and suicide. Because this is what our society perpetuates. So the second any of us project something born from discrimination and hatred onto anyone or anything other than ourselves, we are are honoring what it was meant to do. As a trans woman my experiences with masculinity have been very unpleasant and as such I’m very sensitive about conversations(…)

involving femininity and masculinity. For me womanhood is something I associate with femininity and I can’t break free from my feelings about it. However not all women feel this way. There are masculine women who are joyous in their womanhood and they are valid in their experience. It does not and would never affect my experience nor would mine affect theirs. Unless I came up to her and told her women can only be feminine or she came up to me and congratulated me on(…)

being a feminine man because we would both cause each other a lot of pain. Even if she meant to be nice to me I would be experiencing depression for weeks even though she meant no harm and even if she apologized to me right after. Another example is if someone told me they loved how feminine my demeanor despite having no hips I would probably burst into tears right there! I can’t help but have a very traditional view of gender in regards to my own identity. I’m a feminine woman(…)

who thinks everything I am and do is feminine. But because I can’t afford to transition I feel that I have to be more loyal to societal norms of gender in hopes I can be more passing. I see a feminine woman when I look in the mirror without makeup or my wig. But the world doesn’t see that. I go to sleep a masculine cis man according to society. Hell, I’m a cis man crossdressing in a wig to my neighborhood Kroger when I groceries. Someone might say that to me as a complement(…)

but hearing things like that nearly drove me to suicide in my teens. I can’t think of a more clear example of the harm in societal gender norms. It is a one-sided word. I walk towards the handle and I am given security. I love being a girly girl and wearing pink and wearing padded bras and a wig because I feel feminine and when I feel feminine I feel like a woman. If I were to take all that sitting at the tip of my sword and walked right towards a trans man what do you(…)

think would happen? It’s a terrible thing! If I waved around my sword out in the open- gave my view of gender and interpreted the identity of gender according to my experiences- what do you think would happen? It’s dangerous! And what I see every day with Harry is a lot of sword waving. Yesterday it was an outright sword fighting! When people were saying what made Harry masculine and feminine the only thing they were doing was promoting every homophobic, mysogynistic and transphobic(…)

and traditional societal standard of gender. Harry’s feminine because of this, followed by a statement that is meant to contrast the previous one regarding why he is masculine because of something else. The excuse is that they’re appreciating how multidimensional he is. But what they do is very blatantly categorize these traits as paradoxical. That there is something about the things being mentioned that are different, complex and unharmonious. And(..)

in a way that is the most harmful they make the implication that this is something he means to be. Harry has made a connection with gender and himself and it’s very simple. Masculinity, femininity, womanhood and manhood. The context has always been lighthearded and it has always been consistent. There is ironically no complexity at all. By simply wearing a leopard print suit he became Shania Twain according to his friends. He thoughtlessly talks about being pregnant without(…)

commenting on his gender or biology. So I find it strange that others try to make him out to be so deeply complex when he talks about himself so bluntly! The only way to speak on gender identity and gender expression is to take cues from the other person and stay true to respecting their identity. This is never seems something that’s given to Harry in the way people talk about him. It is the only way you can refer to someone’s gender identity ever. When he is taken apart(…)

and categorized into what is and is not comparable it directly opposes how he talks about himself. This isn’t something that doesn’t do his character justice or undermines what a complex and multifaceted human being he is. I’m a complex and multifaceted person and I only connect with one gender! I don’t like how this always used as an excuse or even something that comes into question. The only way to talk about gender and everything that falls into it is by mirroring(…)

the comments of the individual and those closest to them who are already doing the same. By not doing that you’re stepping into the minefield that is societal gender norms. It’s no wonder the people at the forefront of yesterday’s discourse were met with an entire onslought of outrage. This is how it will always be and honestly should be. People need to learn compassion and understanding and distance if they are trans or not. The great irony is the fight to establish(…)

Harry’s masculinity and the guilt that is demanded from those who don’t mention it the way they do. Not being masculine is one of the rare things Harry’s been very vocal about. Yesterday’s discussion should’ve never escalated the way it did. This is much bigger than fandom. Because what is shared is what you are being told is oksay by the person. If they compare themselves to women and use female pronouns then take cue. If they says they are not masculine then take cure. If(…)

the person shares with you a comment involving themselves within the gender spectrum then this is the only thing it’s okay to repeat. To speak generally is to place your view of gender onto a queer person who will always be listening and who will always disagree. Reading through some of the things from yesterday broke my heart in two. I don’t ever want to see such reckless comments on gender in a fandom full of so many queer people ever again. Wasn’t the outrage and pain obvious enough? I(…)

just can’t believe it could happen when the person they were arguing about has, to me, been more than clear about how they are comfortable being spoken about in their relationship with gender. If my opinion is of any value to people then I hope they listen and make an effort to at least think about something I said in the giant essay I didn’t meant to send you initially rip I apologize for that Kaleigh! I didn’t mean to send as many messages as I must have after all these hours(…)

I couldn’t help but get this off my chest. At least a trans person has had a say in this in a way outside of yesterday’s debate and maybe people will be more understanding of what really went so wrong yesterday. Anyway thank you so much for giving me this space Kaleigh! I hope I worded myself well enough and didn’t accidentally miss the anon button 😭 Have a lovely day ❤💙💚💛💜

hello darling! thank you for sending this to me because while i know a lot of what was being discussed was making me uncomfortable, i also didn’t feel comfortable speaking on it because i didn’t feel educated enough to do so. i’m sorry people made you uncomfortable and you’re so strong for reaching out to educate people who happen to read this. gender/identity is so personal, and people trying to “disprove” certain aspects of someone’s expression just to fit their personal narrative is so horrible and in no way okay in an lgbtq+ space. i love you a lot and i really really appreciate these messages ❤️

[hxlding-on-blog]

i know i should probably go ask someone else for this advice but i want to write a trans character and im not trans so how do i do that? what are the dos and donts? i wanted to ask a trans person before going to anyone else and hope im not a bother!

Random Asks || ANONYMOUS

Well! Not to worry, dear anon! Your local baby trans brother is here to help as best as he can! Now, I want to begin with a …

[  s h o r t  d i s c l a i m e r ] : there is no single way to write a trans character. This is because, just like cis characters, they’re all different. There’s so many ways to tell any character’s story, trans or cis or whatever else. I am also not an expert. Even if I am trans, I’ve ( probably ) only lived this one life and path. Therefore, I can’t speak for many other trans experiences. Still! I can offer advice and subtle criticisms from my own viewpoint!

Without further ado, here’s my take on writing trans characters:

>Disclaimer, But Longer

This is not the world’s best guide! I am not the world’s most trans person ( and that doesn’t even exist ); I am simply one single trans boy speaking from the perspective of such. I have done as much research as I had done before pertaining to this subject, have interacted with other trans people with differing experiences, but can’t speak on their behalf. With that in mind, I am still a somewhat valid source for criticism. If you ask me for my opinion on trans-based writing, I will gladly offer it but do remember that I am still young! I’m a baby boy, what can I say? 

This guide also doesn’t include everything. There’s so much to say on being trans, in writing or in general, and writing the experience will always be a bit difficult if you haven’t lived it. Though, you should do research. Reading my guide will not be enough and I urge for you to reach out to other trans people; writers, or otherwise. Read other guides, do other research ( such as the effects of certain hormones ), and listen to criticism if you receive it. I highly suggest you ask a trans person if you’re unsure about something.

I am also a trans boy who’s very offset by the idea of generally being seen as female. My research on trans women is little / few and, though I’ve looked into it, my knowledge is not as extensive as my research on trans men! Please do your own looking up whenever you can; it’s important that you don’t only get your information from a fifteen year old trans boy about writing a thirty-something trans woman!!!

[ TL; DR, I should not be your only source and you should do your own research whilst listening to trans people if you get something wrong ]

>Common Terms

[ Deadname ] = A trans person’s unused given name. It’s called a dead name for a reason; they don’t use it. Some people have differing reactions to it- such as avoiding it, ignoring it, or responding to it on certain occasions- but is generally not used in many / most cases.

[ Transgender ] = An adjective used to describe someone who doesn’t align with their assigned gender. This includes nonbinary people. It can’t be used as a noun ( for example, ‘transgenders’ ) and is shortened to trans in most cases.

[ AGAB ] = Acronym for ‘Assigned Gender At Birth’ where Gender is replaced with Male or Female. For example, AFAB or AMAB.

[ Legal Name ] = The name that is on their legal documents. It may be their deadname, or it may be their current name; whichever one it is, it’s the one they’d have on certain documents ( school registrations, job applications, etc ) and can be changed. 

[ Testosterone ] = Hormones that will change a feminine body into something more masculine, including hair growth, fat redistribution, and other bodily functions. It can be administered through a syringe, a gel / patches, or pills. Often shorted to T and used in terms such as T shot.

[ Estrogen ] = Hormones that will change a masculine body into something more feminine, including hair growth, fat redistribution, and other bodily functions. Often shortened to E.

[ Hormone Blockers ] = A medication used to block / stop / pause the effects of hormones in the body. This is typically used amongst younger trans people that are too young to take T or E.

[ Pre-Op ] = Refers to people who plan on getting operations done to change their sex; if someone were to want top surgery but haven’t had it yet, they’d be considered pre-op. Some trans people aren’t pre-op if they’d decided they don’t want to undergo a surgery.

[ Post-Op ] = Refers to people who have had their operations done. For example, metoidioplasty. 

[ Gender Dysphoria ] = A term to describe general uncomfort in relation to someone’s gender and their body. Found typically prominent when it comes to hormones. 

[ Gender Euphoria ] = A term to describe general joy in relation to someone’s gender and their body. Found typically prominent in use of certain pronouns or names. 

[ HRT ] = Acronym for Hormone Reversal Treatment, which includes administering Testosterone or Estrogen into the body. 

>Figuring Out They’re Trans

Every trans person figures out they’re trans differently; how long it takes them, when they do, and how they do will always be different. For me, I figured it out in my teens after doing my own research on the things I felt- I went to Google ( Or, well, Bing since I was in China at the time ) and looked up why I felt the way I did in my own body, resonated with terms I found, and did a lot of self reflection- and coming to the conclusion that I was trans. At the time, I labelled myself as nonbinary; some binary trans people have done this but not every. I didn’t feel like I fully identified with that, and yet felt detachment from my womanhood, which later lead me to finding out I was a trans boy all along. It fit me. That’s my path but, for your muse, maybe they figured it out differently.

Maybe they felt out of place in their own body since they were young, or maybe they simply didn’t fit with their given gender at birth. Or they could’ve not known all the way into adulthood, clicking with a term when it passes them by. Not every trans experience is the same! Whilst writing trans characters knowing since they were born is valid, it’s also valid to write them knowing ages later. I put off identifying as a man before, only because I feared that my boyfriend wouldn’t love me anymore. And now? Now I’m glad I came out! Writing characters doing something similar wouldn’t be a stretch! 

How and when your character finds out will always be valid; they can find out while playing in a sandbox in their playground, or notice they didn’t feel attached to their gender assigned at birth. They can go to a therapist and be told their emotions lined up with being trans, or they could be reading a book and thinking I feel like that’s me to which they draw their conclusion. The possibilities are endless! I guarantee that there’s somebody out there that’s able to relate to it because there’s so many ways to figure it out; it can take a few minutes, or days, or weeks, or months, or years of thinking it over before IDing as trans- that’s the nature of it.

>The ‘First Steps’ In Transitioning and Coming Out

Some come out when they’re younger, some come out in their teens, some come out in adulthood, and some don’t come out at all. Coming out as trans is similar to coming out as gay, bi, etc. However, there’s the added thing with pronouns, names, and medical transitions ( if your character ever decides they want to ). It’s different in that sense, but not everything will be different. In most- if not all- cases, your character will have a pronoun change. They may go from he/him to they/them or be okay with he/him but prefer they/them without exclusion. Some may use multiple pronouns, or be exclusive to one set, or something of the sorts. 

When changing their name, some people may choose one similar to their given one, or make a new one entirely, or look through a baby name book. They may switch from one name to another, or have multiple, or decide not to change at all for a variety of reasons; their given name can stick to being their name if they want it to! For me, I’ve always loved the pronunciation of ‘Chris’ but never felt right with the spelling, to which I fixed by spelling it as ‘Kriss’ instead. My deadname holds a lot of emotional and frankly traumatic weight to it, so I feel very uncomfortable when people say it or I see it anywhere. My body physically cringes at it and it doesn’t help that there’s someone in my class who shares it, so I never respond to it in class unless I know for sure whoever is using my deadname has no prior knowledge about my current one.

Transitioning is a choice; some decide to make it, whilst others don’t. It doesn’t invalidate them at all and the journey should never be the only distinct aspect to a character’s story. Them transitioning can be a main plot point but should never be the only thing that makes this character’s whole, well, character! Outside of it, they are still a character after all. Some decide to socially transition ( change their name, their clothing style, the way they interact with people in comparison to how they were prior to coming out ) whilst others decide to medically transition ( get top surgery, go on hrt ). It will always be different for certain people. 

Reactions to coming out will vary, with differing factors of course; how did they come out, who to, when, etc. Some will react with open arms and others will outright abuse. It will be different from character to character, on the giving and receiving end, so think carefully about how to write this. I haven’t come out to my parents, given that they’re very transphobic and my entire country offers very hefty punishment for being LGBT+ in general. My classmates and friends? They know; I came out, in varying ways at varying times, and have received a plethora of reactions ranging from acceptance to denial.

>Medically Transitioning

Not all trans people decide to undergo medical transition, for many reasons. They may be ill and aren’t physically strong to take hormones or have surgery, maybe they have monetary issues, or they simply don’t want to. All of these reasons are valid and don’t make the trans person any less trans at all.

This typically includes surgery and hormones, though there’s so much to say on that. Whilst some would choose both, others may choose one over the other; the most common is taking hormones and also getting one surgery. An example is me; I want to take Testosterone in the future as well as both top and bottom surgery. I have decided on which kind I want and will discuss with my future doctor about this. Other people may choose not to have top surgery, or bottom, or even hormones. Whatever your character chooses, it will not be the forefront of their personality.

Hormones can take a while to kick into effect; do your research about it. Recovery from certain procedures vary and you should do your research. 

>Do’s And Don’ts

Make your trans character unique! Not everyone has the same lucky ‘I knew since birth, have been accepted everywhere, transitioned into something I wanted’ story, but not everyone has the same distraught ‘I knew ‘too late’, I’ve been bullied and disowned, and my transition failed / didn’t turn out the way I wanted’ ( and there’s no such thing as too late anyways ). Whilst they’re not impossible, they’re not the only paths; try a mix! Some people accept, some people don’t, and some people transition whilst others don’t; there’s never a straight and narrow path.

Do talk to other trans people about your character, and ask questions whenever you feel that you have a question. If the person is willing to answer, great! If not, be polite and go somewhere else for answers. Use multiple sources, do your research, and don’t ever assume. Do use your character’s name and refer to them using the pronouns they refer to themselves as; an exception is given when it comes to legal documents and transphobic characters speaking to them but you should never refer to a trans person who exclusively uses he/him with she/her. Don’t use their deadname when referring to them in their story, especially when you can use their actual name.

Never. EVER EVER EVER use their coming out as a ‘he was a she all along!’ trope. One of the worst things to do to a trans person is to misgender them; it’s disrespectful. Being called by their preferred name and pronouns is not a privilege and is a right; again, there’s an exception when certain characters are doing it, but the author shouldn’t use it as a chance to misgender their character. I won’t go into this much more because it’s hard for me to explain but, in general, a trans man is not the same as a cis woman and vice versa. 

AGAIN, PLEASE REMEMBER THAT I AM NOT THE BEST SOURCE! PLEASE GO AND DO OTHER RESEARCH ON TOP OF THIS!! Thanks for reading!!!!