#he'll get more medication and treatment tomorrow

[monsoon-of-art]

no art fight today, I had to bathe a flea-ridden kitten and that shits exhausting

[lu-sn]

ok i have been sufficiently encouraged (thank you @ameliarating ❤️)

i have many many Thoughts about how pete was treated at the main compound after returning from his imprisonment, and i tried to cram as many of them as possible into splinter, but i left out a lot of the surrounding events because they didn't quite fit. so here is my dvd commentary, which is a fancy way of saying "an avalanche of depressing headcanons" 😂

if you didn't read it, warning that this probably won't make much sense — but the premise of the fic is that chan interrogates pete about his imprisonment, and it does not go well for pete.

cw: mentions of sexual assault. and a general warning for: this got away from me, as usual, it's too many words, oops 😅

the medical examination

porsche has just started to daub at the deeper scars on pete's chest when they hear a stern knock on their door. it's not chan, but it is a guard sent by chan, and they order pete to report to the medical bay for examination and treatment.

chan is furious on so many levels. a lot of them have to do with kinn, and how incompetently kinn handled this entire pete mission, and how little kinn told chan about what happened. unfortunately he can't actually chew out kinn — but now that pete is back, he's going to go directly over kinn's head and treat pete exactly as protocol demands. and that means getting a full debrief from him, but it also means treating pete as a suspicious agent. if a man disappears like that without reporting back, it's a huge red flag.

all of that to say: chan doesn't trust pete to tell the truth, even though pete probably has an extensive history of being honest. so it would be prudent of chan to back pete into a corner. he needs to have solid evidence that pete will not be able to lie his way around

hence, the medical examination. pete's body cannot lie.

as soon as pete is given the order, a pit opens up in his stomach. this is the moment that he starts to realize, through his haze of shock, that he is not going to be able to keep his imprisonment a secret.

so he goes down, porsche trailing helplessly after him, and subjects himself to the examiner. and it's cruelly invasive. to have obtained the list of conditions that chan reads off later, it must have been.

pete has been through this kind of exam before. all the bodyguards have. it is a semi-regular occurrence. the main family needs to verify the quality of their assets.

but pete is currently all sorts of wires-crossed about being touched, and about being looked at. to have been seen by vegas as someone precious and real, and then to give all of that up — only to have a stone-cold examiner put their hands all over him, to treat him as the object he is? oh my god. i can't even think about it. it hurts, and not in a good way.

porsche is waiting outside the exam room, and he knows exactly what they're doing to pete (after all, he's been through it too). and porsche feels so fucking guilty, can barely breathe for how terrible he feels, how much he is hurting for pete. and that's when chan shows up.

"what are you doing here," porsche asks dumbly.

chan doesn't say. but porsche gets a bad feeling about this, pushes at chan until chan finally says that he's here to take pete away for a debriefing, after pete is done with his exam

and pete will never know this — but porsche thinks about pete in that bathroom, unable to speak, face crumpled in pain. and with no hesitation, porsche goes to bat for pete. "wait until tomorrow," he tells chan. "he needs to rest."

of course, chan is here precisely because he wants to interrogate pete while pete is at his weakest. but porsche has power now. he's kinn's lover. he cannot be so easily disobeyed — and so chan relents. (he'll get pete early tomorrow, and it'll be fine. gives them more time for pete's blood work to come through, regardless.)

the interim

pete manages to get away from porsche for just long enough to cry into his noodles. and not to make this scene worse or anything, but pete trying to emulate vegas's touch on his skin right after going through the exam? trying to erase the memory of latex prodding unforgivingly at him, reminding himself that he was once touched as something to be revered? (that he might never have that again?) ahahahahaha. 🔪

when he gets back to their room, porsche warns him that chan wants a debrief. and a slow panic starts building inside of pete.

he doesn't sleep that night. he probably wouldn't have, anyway, but now it's much more dire. he needs to plan. he needs to figure out what he can and can't tell chan. he needs to come to terms with the fact that he's about to lie to his employer. (he doesn't.) he steels himself to talk about the most emotionally and physically taxing period of his life. (he fails.)

(does it sink in, during that night, that pete is in terrible danger? i don't know. he's probably not thinking about it like that. doesn't change the fact that he is.)

and so when he's summoned, early enough that the sun has yet to rise, he's running on zero sleep and his nerves are shot to hell. and that's exactly where chan wants him.

the interrogation

(i almost wrote it from chan's pov, because that could have had a bunch of cool insight about how chan is manipulating pete throughout the interrogation. but then i would have missed out on all of the cronchy pete thoughts 🥺 no regrets.)

chan's goal throughout this is to get pete to a highly vulnerable state and keep him there. pete's already done half of the work for him, but chan picks up on the flinch pete can't suppress at the mention of sexual assault, and he plans to use that to his advantage later.

pete actually does pretty well for the first half! chan is simultaneously impressed and peeved. and he doesn't display this, but he does start to think that maybe pete wasn't up to anything suspicious.

but then they get to the safehouse, and oh god. pete is editing vegas out of the narrative as he goes, and he's speaking slower. his retellings are garbled and non-linear. he can't seem to consistently describe his torturer at all. it's a striking contrast to the first half of his story.

so chan lets him speak, makes note of all the holes in pete's story — and then hits him with the sexual assault ask. and it works, it works so fucking well, pete's emotions immediately fly off the rails.

and then he pushes, just on one part of pete's story — and pete crumbles.

pete didn't explicitly confess to anything the entire time, and that's worth something. but it's not enough. chan is fully convinced that pete is lying about something — but it's not like he's going to tell pete that to his face. he needs to debrief with korn first before taking any action, and in the meantime he doesn't want to alert pete of his suspicions.

so he de-escalates. he tells pete it's ok to make mistakes (lie), and he makes it seem as if pete has successfully completed the debrief (lie). this works, too. the relief on pete's face is stark.

(side note: the de-escalation was inspired by that chanbig scene in ep6 where chan tells big to calm down and that kinn will be alright. i know it's the scene that launched a thousand ships 😂 but i don't think it's meant as a kindness. it's what big needs to hear in order to snap back into being useful for the family.)

overall: the whole time i was writing this, i was thinking about the concept of second rape, which is a term used to describe the grueling lineup of police interrogations and medical examinations and court proceedings that a sexual assault survivor will go through if they choose to report. the thorough dissection of the survivor's trauma and the derision their story tends to receive can feel akin to the original assault. depending on your interpretation of canon events, pete doesn't literally fall into this category — but metaphorically, this is what he's experiencing.

(somebody hug pete please 😭 vegas WHERE ARE YOU!!!! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS YOU)

the aftermath

shower scene my beloved 🫠 i originally tried to write pete having depressing shower thoughts about his own agency and privacy being stolen away. it just didn't sound right, even when i started over a few times. and then i changed the focus from pete's pain to vegas's, and it just all clicked.

can't quite articulate this — but pete, in that moment, is totally incapable of processing what has been done to him. but he knows what happened was wrong, somehow, and the way that manifests is via thoughts about how vegas has been wronged. (he wants to burn the record of vegas's story? oh, pete. it's your story first.)

chan and korn!!! and the crowd boos. i headcanon that chan and korn actually come to odds quite a bit on this topic. chan's job is to eliminate threats to the family. killing pete is the cleanest option!

(and secretly, it might be a kinder option to pete compared to what korn wants to do with him — not that chan is necessarily thinking about it like that.)

meanwhile, korn wants to keep him around, because he loves seeing all his little chess pieces make messes of themselves. chan hates this so much. he feels that korn is inviting trouble, and one day it will backfire tremendously. he never once says this. he always cedes to korn.

(another aside — damn, i can't shut up today — chan and pete are kind of similar, no? in terms of their unwavering loyalty? chan must have been someone, and had thoughts and feelings, when he was younger. who's to say he wasn't like pete? and when pete is chan's age, he would be a viable candidate for chan's position. he just needs the sympathy to be beaten out of him first.)

and a coda, as a treat for making it this far:

after the coup, korn hunts down the file with chan's report about pete, and he reads it with fresh eyes. and it's so obvious, in hindsight, that pete was trapped with vegas the whole time. korn now has a detailed record of everything vegas ever did to pete in his darkest hour. and korn would not be who he is, if he did not immediately start conceiving of ways to use that information for his own advantage.

[actual22plus]

So, I'm legally considered an outlaw. I'm not sure that's fair, but I guess if you bend enough rules, eventually the label will stick. I like to think of myself as more of a rebel do-gooder, but you can't please everyone, I guess.

I am about to make one person's life drastically better though. Rumor has it that he's been diagnosed with terminal cancer. If he were rich and influential, he'd be able to get the most modern, up to date retrovirus treatments. Word on the street is, they work about 90% of the time. Unfortunately, the algorithm has determined that Orion Deckard doesn't contribute enough to society to qualify. So that's why I'm hiding in this alley, pistol in hand.

I've been watching this industrial complex for a week now. Deckard always gets off around this time, give or take five minutes. He pays no attention to his surroundings as he rushes to his train. Compared to some of my other runs, this will be a piece of cake.

I spot him, shuffling out of the door. He walks alone. I don't know whether he has know friends or his bad news has created a bubble around him that makes it too awkward for anyone to be near. Honestly, I don't really care.

I blow out my breath and raise my gun. With the kind of ammo I'm using, small glass injector darts, it doesn't really matter where you hit. Deckard will know he's been shot, but by that time, the biochemical compound my partner whips up will already be coursing through his body.

Injector dart guns don't make much noise. More of a puff than a pop. My aim is good. My aim is always good. I see Deckard freeze and look down at the dart sticking out of his lower calf. I don't keep watching even long enough for him to look around. I'm the woman with the gun, and he's been shot. I'm already hustling to the other end of the alley.

I know what will happen though. Deckard will panic. Maybe he'll call for emergency medical help. Whenever they show up, they won't be able to identify the residue. They won't find any traces of any known toxins. They'll suggest that maybe someone was playing a prank. Deckard will never know what I shot him with, that is, unless he's real smart when he wakes up tomorrow cancer-free.

[iapetusneume]

Dad went in the hospital again. Because of his previous abysmal treatment, we are trying a different Healthcare system.

Cut for medical talk

He's had internal bleeding somehow in his GI tract. They don't know where the bleed is/was, or if he's still bleeding. But they've started the process of trying to figure those details out. He's anemic at the moment, which explains his fatigue problems, so he's getting a blood transfusion and they're going to check his hemoglobin in a few ours to see if its improving. (This will help indicate if he's still bleeding, and if so how fast.)

Because he's on blood thinners, they have to be super careful how they conduct certain tests. They might have to take him off his blood thinner and allow it to get out of his system before they can do an endoscopy. If they go that route, they won't be able to do it until Tuesday, which means he'll be in the hospital through Christmas.

There's a chance he might be able to come home tomorrow... if they are able to do a different test and determine if he's still bleeding, and they're able to stop the bleeding. But we won't know until tomorrow.

So he's stable (for the hospital), but not currently stable to come home. I'm glad he's somewhere safe, and I already have a lot more confidence in the staff at this hospital. I'm just really hoping he can come home for Christmas.

[the-firebird69]

Now our son did this to Dan detected in front of him for the washing machine and purpose and was doing it pretty much on purpose to get to our son and he got to him so our son started beat him to a pole they pushed him out of the way and then then pushed her son and it was really just a brush it wasn't like this and Dan was wrong on both counts and our son pushed him back pretty hard and he got out of the way but he's being unreasonable and stupid a****** and we're going to sue him for it it's harassment and there's a couple other people Sean was harassing her son a lot there was another person there doing it but our son says that he has affliction and most of the time he was protecting me and it impressed and was doing it but he was also looking out for him and he's sick and we won't Sue Preston what we will soon Castle for holding him there and not getting him medical treatment and we're introducing those lawsuits today and we know why we're doing it this is the last country and if you do it you get sued and both ways I feel bad for you cuz you're so dumb you ignore it doesn't mean it goes away and you abuse our son and you think you got something we're going to sue you try and prove that you're stupid and doing something that's not right you don't get anything you don't get anything that's high in the sky or pie you probably don't even get $1 no you don't I was just wait two weeks and see what happens to Jesus Christ. doing this right now and we're going to increase the pressure. We have 10 major lawsuits going against you people here and we're going to sue you and I'm going to take what you have and the Mac proper will assist you messed up their code and held the money and is it a good job but you're stupid and you thought you could get away with keeping him poor is that as an excuse and you are now going to prison because you're so simple and stupid and weak too. We're completely wiped out and that's Trump's forces. He pulled about 1/4 of his out of the bunkers and they're gone and he's pulling more out for the eastern hemisphere the one quarter of the Western hemisphere bunker people are gone he tried coming down and they were worked out from the upper Midwest to the to to down just at the Great lakes level and the ones that are in Northern New England tried to come down and we're wiped out a hundred miles from base the whole entire battle group was taken out by the pseudo empire and this is going to continue this way they say. So in the eastern hemisphere he had emptied out I bought a quarter right now he's going and pulling out around to be coming total of 28% roughly and today he's going to gear up to remove another 45% from the Western hemisphere and yeah 50% up north is beginning to get his stuff out he's fighting the clones over what he's taking out it's a bloody battle with the clothes are not bringing too much for us and they're tired just like these guys so they're evacuating and sort of the heading down and mostly to attack the pseudo empire but a're also evacuating. About 30% of them are out. Today in the last we expect another 20% from the pseudo empire and 25 from the trumpsters and PGA doesn't have many bunkers up there he has one complex and he'll be staying and he'll probably fight the clones over the remainder these are actual wars fight over these things there's a it's a war and the evacuations and fights are drawing the bugs and they're down to 40% in South Florida and after today and tonight tonight really tomorrow will be probably down to 30% and it will start dropping rapidly as it is they're already trickling out and I'm very decent rate and we will keep people posted

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

[eternal-armin]

aot characters taking care of you when you're sick

you got a cold and your loving s/o is taking care of you. characters included: jean, sasha, armin, levi, hange, mikasa

jean

✧･ﾟ: mostly tries to make sure you're comfortable and in good spirits ✧･ﾟ: he hates when you're sick because that means that you can't go with him everywhere, and he will be alone most of the time ✧･ﾟ: even then will not admit how much he treasures you being by his side 24/7 ✧･ﾟ: really hospitable and sweet ✧･ﾟ: doesn't tease you nearly as much as usual ✧･ﾟ: i mean he still does just not as much ✧･ﾟ: if you need something ("can you get me some water") he leaves and is back before you can say suicidal maniac ✧･ﾟ: cares if he gets sick but cares more about you ✧･ﾟ: if he needs to leave you for whatever reason he will find someone he know will take good care of you ✧･ﾟ: and if they don't he'll beat their ass (in training) ✧･ﾟ: you're very thankful and he's like "nah it's nothing" at first ✧･ﾟ: but he eventually gives in and says you can do a favor for him all huffing and defeated

sasha

✧･ﾟ: will spoil you with comfort foods and your favorite things ✧･ﾟ: obv will read aloud to you ✧･ﾟ: talks and jokes with you and just fauns over you ✧･ﾟ: so sweet and bubbly, as usual honestly ✧･ﾟ: will play with your hair ✧･ﾟ: "okay okay so i got you some meat because you need protein just don't tell anyone for no reason whatsoever" ✧･ﾟ: jesus christ this lady is going to put you in cardiac arrest ✧･ﾟ: only partially joking about stealing the meat ✧･ﾟ: makes you a specific soup recipe that has you better like tomorrow ✧･ﾟ: but will still do the fauning etc because you deserve it come on now ✧･ﾟ: will get sick like the next day because she was around you when you were contagious and wore no ppe ✧･ﾟ: the cycle continues where you faun over her

armin

✧･ﾟ: is cautious but hospitable and attentive ✧･ﾟ: reads aloud to you, tells you about his dreams, very sweet and soft conversations ✧･ﾟ: makes sure you're hydrated and rested. you will Not stay up Later than Nine and you can do Nothing to Convince Him Otherwise ✧･ﾟ: gets really worried when you really start being sick ✧･ﾟ: let's be real he is so well-versed in medical diagnosis and treatment volumes that he is the perfect person to take care of you ✧･ﾟ: overprepared, just like with first aid ✧･ﾟ: checks on you very often when he has to be out ✧･ﾟ: fills you in on the events you missed to the t ✧･ﾟ: sometimes falls asleep beside you, leaning on crossed arms on the infirmary bed ✧･ﾟ: surprises you with your favorite childhood books. once he bought you a stuffed animal and now he always brings it to you in the infirmary ✧･ﾟ: gets flustered when you thank him and say you love him ✧･ﾟ: as usual tbh ✧･ﾟ: always gives you some tips to stay healthy

levi

✧･ﾟ: wears ppe always ✧･ﾟ: scared to get sick/dirty but there are some sacrifices that come with being a boyfriend ✧･ﾟ: scolds you when you don't drink water or refuse to eat or sleep ✧･ﾟ: but not like how he yells at eren ✧･ﾟ: very stern but sweet with it cause he knows you're sick and he's not completely an asshole ✧･ﾟ: tries not to touch you but always makes sure you feel loved ✧･ﾟ: keeps the room spick and span at all times and it actually helps you a bit ✧･ﾟ: the curtains are NEVER CLOSED during the day FRESH AIR IS IMPORTANT ✧･ﾟ: when he's able, he keeps you entertained and sometimes even asks for advice when it comes to plans and training ✧･ﾟ: you're essentially his unofficial advisor, your opinion is very important to him ✧･ﾟ: this man never gets sick ✧･ﾟ: so he's like "you're not repaying this. shut up and get back to training. this is just what a boyfriend should do." ✧･ﾟ: honourable asshole

hange

✧･ﾟ: will NEVER leave you alone or let your wants/needs go ungiven. you dont even need to ask before they leave and come back ✧･ﾟ: shares even their most cracked-out theories during this time ✧･ﾟ: will gladly become (more) sleep-deprived to be sure their perfect s/o is happy and well ✧･ﾟ: seriously still affectionate and cuddly even when you're sneezing like someone allergic to pollen in the middle of a flower field (idk what i just wrote honestly) ✧･ﾟ: THEY DONT GET SICK EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE LIKE "let me hug you for at least forever" ✧･ﾟ: will literally do anything to make you feel better. want a hug? obviously you're getting one. want a book that you don't know the title of but know one character's name? wow, magical, there it is! want the fucking government to disappear? get out the chainsaw! ✧･ﾟ: chaotic neutral of caring s/os ✧･ﾟ: in the end you're sick for like 3 days tops ✧･ﾟ: they made you laugh so much it felt like normal times ✧･ﾟ: god i love hange sm

mikasa

✧･ﾟ: gets really scared before she does anything, every time ✧･ﾟ: feels bad as though she could've done anything ✧･ﾟ: her touch is so gentle ogfmgngh ✧･ﾟ: she always makes sure you're okay, asks clarifying questions, that kinda deal ✧･ﾟ: focuses most on your happiness and comfort. will do anything ✧･ﾟ: i was gonna add something to the end of that sentence but it works better like that ✧･ﾟ: kinda like levi, gently scolds you about being careless with your health and will make sure you know how to keep yourself in check ✧･ﾟ: tells you that everyone wishes you well ✧･ﾟ: will fuck up anyone who talks shit about you when you're sick ✧･ﾟ: makes sure you get to sleep. mikasa will hum a lullaby if necessary ✧･ﾟ: will tell you you're beautiful/handsome/whatever adjective you prefer, over and over ✧･ﾟ: even when you're sick you look cute when you blush ✧･ﾟ: tells you to take it easy for at least 4 days after you're back on your feet

sorry for editing, i forgot the dividers xx

[terrence-silver]

Imagine the doctor telling Terry and beloved that their very ill six year old wouldn’t make it (they have leukemia). While Terry consoles beloved he tells the doctor, “let me tell him/her.” Terry enters his child’s room where his shaven snakey is sitting in bed “Papa!” They smile, “don’t worry, I’m gonna be okay and I can come home with you soon.” I feel this would be the hardest thing Terry would ever have to do. And I feel after he’d tell them, he’s stagger back to beloved and weep 🥺💔

(Several types of trigger warnings)

---

This is going to be very dark, but why do I assume Terry would mercy kill his child?

Like, I feel he'd be entirely capable of that in a time like this.

Euthanasia; as a last resort.

Sometimes, when a soldier doesn't want to get caught by the enemy, a soldier does unthinkable things too to avoid the torment that'll come with the worst of outcomes. Because, think about it; his kid, his flesh and blood and bone is just condemned to a very painful, uneasy and agonizing death without a cure. The type of thing money, connections, threatening the doctors, flying his child overseas for exclusive treatments and influence cannot change. This is past Terry's control. His grief is intermingled with a feeling of complete and utter helplessness of this same uncontrollable variety; something he loathes in life the most. Something he dreads innately when we analyze his character --- which we have done numerous times. Sure, he can smash things up ad nauseum in rage and demand his kid be strong and overcome the odds like a cobra should, but after a while, the understanding it will change nothing settles in like an unimaginable burden.

He knows what he'll do already.

So, Terry, when his mania dies down and grows cold and calculative where the odds are concerned, he shows a rare mercy the only way he knows how. He regains control the only way he knows how as well. He personally administers his kid with something that'll give them a peaceful rest in agreement with his private clinic staff and medical experts in charge. Painless. No different than falling asleep. In his father's arms. As happy as a dying child in a hospital can be. Tomorrow they'll all go home, to the mansion, Terry promises. Except the kid never does. Terry lies the way he lies ever so often and sells his offspring the masked illusion of hope when there is no hope. Terry is also maddened with pain, but in his devotion and love, he spared his kid months and months of absolute agony. Gave them a clean death. Something of debatable ethics, but something that took place because he felt like a cornered animal after fighting the doctors on this has yielded no fruit. One can't just muscle things into a different outcome, turns out. Terry also does the deed personally, alone. Insists on it. Wouldn't allow anyone else to do it. He takes in every expression and movement and breath, maintaining firm eye contact and refusing to blink as his kid passes on, caressing their shaven head, holding their little hands, talking to them quietly the entire time, having them think this is just sleeping medications, and that tomorrow, they'll be going home. They're at peace, though. There's no more pain. All that pain is his now. Terry chose when they'll die. Gave them, the way he saw it, that last bit of dignity and a way out. He doesn't feel good about it --- how could he --- but he believes he did, what, in the most extremest of measures can only be described as a man's extreme actions. He did something both terrible and merciful to his snakey out of love.

This was Terry's last line of defense.

He takes his kid's body home and for a while, he cuts his locks in mourning.

If he adopted Ponytail's hair in grief, now, for the time being, he chops it.

For his child.

Whether he ever grows it back at all is up to debate.

[darlingrutherford]

Max had his last dose of antibiotics two days ago, which means we get to switch to his new treatment plan! He'll now only get poked with a needle every 3 days for fluids, and the needle is much smaller. Today was our first day with it, and he wiggled a whole lot less and barely black bearded during it. He also got switched to new pain medication that only is given by mouth every 3 days as well, so the hope is that he'll be able to chill out a lot more and get a little better. Then we can look at him having his endoscopic procedure down the road when he's more stable.

Until then, it'll be in the 100s this weekend 😩 we don't do pool time on the days he gets poked (just because I'm a neurotic dragon parent), but you can expect lots of splish splashin pool time photos tomorrow 😘

I won't be putting out more posts specifically for donations (unless another big procedure pops up) since his care is now within a level we can afford without too much pain, but if you ever want to help contribute to his ongoing meds (~$50/month right now) feel free to click on my ko-fi link in my bio. If you specify it's for Max, 100% of that will go to him, whether for his treatment or for some extra special wormies as treats (I'll be ordering him hornworms soon because he deserves them!) We're working on figuring out some photos to take for a big thank you, so you can expect that in the near future as well ❤️