#he'll always go back to her

[liillyliilly]

Strawberry Blond

hinata shouyou x reader words; 2155 synopsis; he's got a crush on that older girl at school- she has to go on a roadtrip with his family. what will a few hours in a car do for them?

The car pushed forward along the road. She looked out of her window to stare at all the passing scenery, eyeing the mountains and eyes gazing at the clouds floating above. The fields of flowers painted a picture of heartache and blushing faces. Willow trees with their branches holding the long tiers of leaves cascading down like waterfalls.

With all the beauty to admire and things to explore using his imagination, Hinata Shouyou was only looking at her.

The Hinata family planned to visit some relatives farther out in the country. She was only there because her father, a business associate of Hinata's dad, needed someone to take her somewhere close to the relatives they had already planned to visit. Naturally, bringing her along for the seven-hour drive seemed like the most effective method of transport.

But for Hinata, the drive became more about the fact that he would be stuck in a cramped space with his crush for a long time instead of visiting cousins.

The reason for his crush? He doesn’t know.

(keep my eyes on the road)

There wasn’t much that interested Hinata outside of volleyball, but the things that did interest him included gaming with Kenma, trying to be better than Kageyama at everything, spending time with his family, and getting to know the ever-elusive girl better. Hinata knew her from school, mainly because she often hung around Asahi.

When Hinata asked if the two were dating, Asahi and her immediately put his assumption to rest.

As it turned out, she was helping Asahi to improve his interpersonal skills, seeing as she was a member of the student council and her job was student satisfaction. Asahi had come to her asking for ways to seem more approachable, thus meaning she was spending time with him, and not in fact that they were dating.

This was a deal of relief to Hinata. But even after Asahi had improved his people skills, she still stuck around.

Hinata still remembers the first one-on-one conversation he had with her vividly. He had caught her packing up her bag from her last session with Asahi, she had moved her schedule around so that they could talk in the gym before volleyball practice.

“Hello! I’m Hinata, Asahi’s protege of sorts. Nice to meet you, L/N. ” Hinata gave a quick bow before standing straight up again.

“Same to you Hinata-kun.”

“I’m not that much younger than you,” Hinata muttered. There was only a year difference between them, seeing as she was a second year, and Hinata a first year.

“Oh, do you not want me to use –kun then?” She furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head.

He froze up for a minute. Before blurting out a response. “Call me Shoyou. It's my first name.” She smiled and laughed a bit before politely covering her mouth.

“If I plan on calling you Shoyou, then you can call me by my first name too?” She stretched out her hand and Hinata shook it with both of his. Feeling a short jolt move from his hands up to his ears which were slowly beginning to tinge red.

A girl called out to her from the gym entrance, and she nodded. “Well, Shoyou, I got to go, but we can talk later?”

Hinata shook his head up and down so rapidly that Kageyema yelled at him, “Idiot! You’re going to shake all your brain cells out!”

Hinata let out a deep sigh before putting a hand to his heart and letting his eyes glaze over slightly from his daydreams of all the possible conversations he would have with her.

(reach out the car window trying to hold the wind)

“L/N, would you like it if we rolled down the windows? Shoyou radiates so much warmth that it gets hot in the car.” Mrs. Hinata laughed slightly while turning around to face the three children sitting in the back of the car from the passenger's seat.

Hinata exclaimed, holding his hands out to emphasize his embarrassment.

“That’s fine with me.”

Natsu looked from her brother to the girl on the other side of her. She put two and two together and planned something out. Hinata wasn’t exactly discreet when it came to stealing glances in the girl’s direction.

“Mom! I wanna sit in the window seat now!” Natsu complained.

Deceptively, Natsu began to calculate. Hinata started to bounce his knee in his seat, his arm resting on the car door, supporting his head.

“Okay, can you guys move around without us having to pull over then?” Natsu nods before unbuckling both her and the second-year’s seatbelts. “Natsu, I didn’t mean you and L/N switch, you should switch with Sho.” His mom commented.

“Oh, honestly, it isn’t a problem for me to sit in the middle ma’am.” She put up a hand and slid over to the middle seat. But since it was a tight squeeze Hinata and her ended up having their sides pressed up close together, their thighs and the length of their sides completely touching.

“Is this okay Shoyou?” She asked as she pulled her seatbelt across her body.

Natsu sat happily looking out the window and moving her hand up and down trying to mimic a superhero with her hand’s movements.

“It’s great.” He swallowed thickly, quickly turning his head to look out the window.

Eventually, Hinata’s mom rolled down the windows with the touch of a button and Hinata felt cold air nipping at his nose. Sticking his head out the window, the air wiggled its way through Hinata’s locks. When he pulled his head back into the car his hair was sticking out in all directions.

She just couldn’t resist and ran a hand through his hair, before stopping and retracting her hand back.

“I'm sorry.” She squeaked.

Hinata didn’t have many words to say since he was still paralyzed from the feeling of her warm hand against his chilly scalp. So, he just took her hand and put it on top of his head again.

“I liked it. You can keep doing that if you want.” She started running her hand through his hair again. The hair curled around her hand and tickled in between her fingers. Hinata felt a soft hum begin to bubble in his throat. His satisfaction made her giggle slightly at his reaction.

The seven hours spent in that car ride weren’t as bad as Hinata had predicted.

(i love it when you look my way)

Two hours had passed, and Natsu was asleep.

“I think it’s time for a pit stop.” Hinata’s dad brought the car to the side of the long winding road.

Hinata’s parents sipped some tea from a shared thermos, his mom rubbing his dad’s back.

Hinata was searching through the trunk, pushing suitcases to the side. He finally found what he was looking for.

He tossed the volleyball lightly in her direction. She was kicking up dirt and drinking water from her sticker-covered bottle. It fell and rolled around until it bumped into her foot.

“Want to play?” He jogged over to her.

“I didn’t join a sports club, I joined an academic club for a reason.” But, she set her bottle down next to the car and picked up the volleyball.

“I can teach you. When I first started playing, I had to beg people to join in. My third year middle school club included a soccer player, a basketball player, me, and some first years.”

She frowns, “I’m sorry, that sounds like a tough situation.”

After going through some basics, they could hold a decent rally. After she failed to receive it once again, she groaned in frustration. Without thinking, Hinata moved behind her, holding her arms up, and guiding them to a proper receive position. He still hadn’t mastered receiving yet, but he could manage for the most part.

“Like this.”

She smelt like strawberry and vanilla. And he was close enough to feel the way her skin pricked up.

She shuffled away, and tossed the ball back to him, cutting the moment off too quickly for Hinata’s liking. Her heart was beating too fast for her liking.

Six hours into the car ride, the sun slowly setting over the hill. Hinata’s mom swapped with his dad, and she decided to drive the rest of the duration to the destination. Natsu was snoring peacefully, with her chair leaned back. She was drooling on the nice leather of the car.

Hinata’s dad was also asleep, matching Natsu’s snoring and drooling. His mom had earbuds in, listening to her serial killer podcast, humming happily.

“So, student government. What’s that like?” Hinata wanted to know everything about her.

“Well, my experience, or the general experience.”

He could care less about any of the other kids in student government.

“Yours.”

“It’s not what I expected, that’s for sure. Instead of solving issues at the school, it feels more like an elite societal clique. Helping Asahi was the only impactful thing I’ve accomplished this year. These kids in student government, they’re just so disconnected from reality. You know Ito Yuuta, yeah? He’s going to essentially inherit half the buildings in Miyagi, there’s no reason for him to be in student government, he even says there’s no reason for student government.”

She pauses, then continues with her deeper musing.

“It’s a sad thing when you go into something with high expectations, and then there’s no reason to be invested in it.”

“But you still work hard?”

“Why wouldn’t I? Just because others show apathy for an organization doesn’t mean I have to. I can’t do it all, but I can do enough. Scrambling to be involved in our school has been the biggest challenge, but I love people. Genuinely, people can be so amazing. I just want to foster community at Karasuno.”

Hinata thinks back on his own experiences. He knows the apathetic approach others give, and how it disheartens even the most motivated. But what else can a person do besides keep working?

“I’m embarrassed.” He admits. “I want to kiss you right now.”

She chuckles, “You’ll need to wait a few years before I consider that. Nothing against you, of course.”

“No, no, I understand. You’ll wait for me though? Right?”

“Wait for you?”

“Just at least give me a chance in the future. I can grow a few more centimeters, I promise.”

Nodding her head, she wraps her pinkie finger around his. Moving their connected hands up and down three times exactly.

“I promise to give you a chance in exactly three years.”

He could wait.

(keep my eyes on the road as i ache)

The rest of Hinata’s first year wasn’t bad. Karasuno’s Boy’s volleyball team made it to the Nationals. She came to watch the games, making the rest of the student government put up posters to celebrate their accomplishments.

The second year was rougher than the first. She transferred to a school in Tokyo. He went to her going away party. He couldn’t attend her graduation, but he wrote a lengthy note to her. Tsukishima did not enjoy proofreading everything Hinata had written.

He wrote about his dreams, his goals, and how he thought about her more often than not. The note was littered with spelling errors, that Tsukishima had to fix, but by the fifth draft it was the perfect love letter.

His third year was the best year by far, only after it had officially ended. With his graduation scroll in hand, he waited at the centralmost Miyagi shrine. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, he fluffed his hair, patted it back down, and then recycled the motions.

She had changed. In all the right ways.

“Me first.” He showed her his diploma, she appraised it.

“Definitely real.”

He shoved his driver’s license into her hand as well.

“Legally eighteen years old now.” She evaluated the ID card.

“Also definitely real.”

They sat on a bench, and Hinata told her about Brazil. She told him about Korea.

“An international cooperation organization? You’re lying.”

“I would never.”

He knew she would never lie about something like that. Something where she would most definitely have an actual impact, an actual community-building opportunity.

He slid his hand into hers, using his thumb to rub the back of her hand. He brought it up to his lips, and he kissed her knuckles. She just smiled in response.

The thing she did next almost made him faint. She turned her body and faced him. He was leaning slightly forward, so she had to duck a little, but she aimed right on target. Giving him a short but genuine kiss.

(look at you strawberry blond)

It was the summer of 2021 when they met again.

He was twenty-five. She was twenty-six and a half.

Right before the Olympics, she agreed to one more road trip with him.

She ended up going on many more.

[hedgehog-moss]

I lost one of my chickens :( she was caught and carried away by a fox... I’ve been growing complacent about my chickens’ safety I think because we’ve only had one other attack before, a goshawk that swooped in abruptly (unsuccessfully), but no fox sightings nearby so I’ve been assuming Pandolf was a great deterrent. Which he is, just not foolproof. I’ve talked to some people in town about this and they were pretty philosophical about foxes stealing chickens, like “it’s the tribute we pay to woodland animals, it’s just a few hens here and there.” I don’t begrudge the fox for being a fox, if anything I have a renewed respect for foxes because everyone I talked to proceeded to give me their best / worst fox stories, and most of them involved foxes outsmarting humans (learning people’s habits / timetables, opening latches, faking a limp...) Still I feel terrible for my hen, she was only three. RIP Cordy :( You’ll be remembered fondly... (except by the cats.) I feel bad for the other hen too, who just lost her pal!

When I said that last thing, one of my neighbours jumped on the opportunity to try and convince me again to accept a rooster from him. He had a rooster baby boom last summer and I’ve been telling him for months that I don’t need a rooster, I don’t want to raise chickens I just want eggs, and his new argument was that a rooster would protect my hen (or if it comes to that, would heroically sacrifice himself rather than let the hen be eaten—I’m sceptical...) I asked around for a young hen but there aren’t any to be had in this season, so my remaining one is going to be alone until the spring, and my neighbour said she’d get stressed and male company is better than no company. (I wish I could ask my hen what she wants! Maybe she’s penning A Coop Of One’s Own as we speak.) I said the rooster was more likely to stress her out and harass her and he said nah they’re free ranging all day, it’ll be fine, and he’s young so your adult hen will boss him around. I was like, but then will he be any good at protecting her? etc. etc. and after a while I caved in.

When I told her about this on the phone my mum sighed “you’re terrible at saying no”—excuse me, I said no so many times and the guy just kept ploughing on until he could foist a rooster upon me. I’m good at saying no, other people are terrible at hearing it! I reassured her that I had only agreed to take the rooster for a short probationary period, and if he bothers my hen too much I’ll drive him back to his native farm. My mum was like “Drive him back? look I’m sorry I raised you as a city kid but there’s no need to waste gas on driving a rooster around, I’ll have no qualms about wringing his neck for dinner if he’s more trouble than he’s worth.” The rooster’s fate is not sealed though, if he is anywhere from vaguely useful to not actively problematic I’ll keep him, so we’ll see...!

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)

[dykedvonte]

I like to think in the P.E au that Anya and Curly specifically get haunted hard by Jimmy's weird reality crossing guilt manifested.

It's targeting them because Jimmy's guilt grows more around them. The idea of him acting and playing nice despite what he did. It's like a buffet that allows it to pick from their plates.

Anya sees this stagnant version of her, blood from her mouth, clutching her stomach with a bottle of pills in her other hand. She's talking about not being heard, a pixel, relief from a burden. She tries to ask a question and it's never the right one. She's not understanding but in a way, she's getting that this version of her is in pain. She tries to help, extends a hand and asks how she can help, stop it. She stares and there's utter despair and disappointment in her eyes.

What did you do?

Curly sees this burnt mangled thing. But he can't call it that. Even with no skin and chipping teeth, covered in sullied bandages and smelling of death overdue, he can see his face. He can recognized that eye, he stares at it a lot in the mirror, usually a second one is attached but he digresses. They are just watching, staring and unmoving. He asks himself what happened, how can he help and his own retched mangled voice comes out from a empty maw.

I told you.

They have no idea what it really means. They don't know who to tell. Flashes of a life they don't know or maybe a future they haven't lived yet. Perhaps they treat it as their own minds trying to tell them something. They bare that burden themselves and that alone makes it heavier. Plumper. More appetizing to the guilt causing it.

Tragically that guilt is not their own.

[softquietsteadylove]

I just had an evil idea. What if one day Gilgamesh finally had to make good on his promise to kill Thena if the Mahd Wy'ry ever took over her completely? Maybe he deals with it alone or one of the others finds him, up to you. I know you're good with angst so this should be painful

Gil's chest constricted. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He just stared, trying to wrap his head around what was happening. "No...n-no, I-"

The Deviant--the demonic entity facing him dropped its shield onto the jungle floor. Its vines had reached around the Strongest Eternal and retrieved something to serve as a defense. It was a wall of flesh, used only to absorb the shock of a punch.

The body rolled and tumbled, limbs dead weight, blonde hair falling lightly in comparison. Her eyes were still open, and the white colour that had been fogging them cleared to reveal their usual green. It was dark, and they no longer held their shine. The Warrior Eternal was dead.

Gilgamesh's chest puffed as he tried to breathe. He couldn't. What he was seeing didn't make any sense to him. The face of Thena, his lifelong partner, was staring up at him. But it wasn't her. It didn't look like her. His powers dissipated, sparks of gold disappearing into the still and heavy air, a minimal light in the growing dark.

"That is truly a shame," the devil lamented. "Her powers would have been one of the most useful to me."

Gil couldn't understand the words it was saying either. He knelt--fell to his knees. He reached slowly, delicate as he grasped the shoulder of the woman he loved. "Thena?"

She had no response. Her body was heavy as he lifted her into his embrace. He had snapped her spine, destroyed it in a way even an Eternal wouldn't survive. Maybe it was the most merciful way, with Mahd Wy'ry clouding her mind and that thing holding her, maybe she hadn't known it was he who had landed the killing blow.

He didn't know if it was better if that thing was the last she had seen, or if it would have been better for her to see him, only for him to end her life the way he had. As violent as the nature of their powers were, he never wanted to turn that force unto her. Even in all his years thwarting the attacks of her episodes, he always did his best to protect her and himself.

"Oh, Thena," Gilgamesh whimpered. His breath still came sparingly, his throat constricted far too tight. He cradled her head against his chest, the way he would if she were merely having a terrible dream. He ran his fingers through her hair as he watched the golden lines of her energy pull away from her skin, leaving the grey remains of the physical body.

Gold glittered the air again as the Warrior Eternal's life left her in the last way possible. Their own took cautious and unbelieving steps towards them.

"Gil!"

He felt the vines of that thing at his back. Horrific appendages made to do worse than end life: made to steal it. He set Thena down gently, unwilling to cause her any more unrest.

The trees quivered as he turned, roaring out the energy building up in his body. Rage and grief coursed through him as he turned and grabbed the creature. His hands were more than capable of crushing through its flesh, no matter what being of natural make or nightmare of the stars. He ripped its arms from its body.

Gilgamesh arched his hands up. He watched the shadow of his sledgehammer fists stretch over the beast's face before he brought them down. The forest blew back from the impact, even more than the last time he'd landed a punch like this. And he kept going.

Every hit, every strike, every scream he let out of his lungs for a loss of what else to do, that thing would suffer. He would make something incapable of death experience the loneliness of pain. He would make it understand what it meant to be alone--what it meant to fear.

The ground impacted from his strength. He continued. He swung his fists, the air bending around him, compressing and bursting, gold streaking through the dusk as he swung at it like an animal fighting for its life.

The thing was dead. He didn't care. He wanted it to be no more. He wanted to beat it down so small that it disappeared into the wind or bled into the core of the earth. His strength would prove that it was still good for something. Now that he had failed to protect his greatest love, he would enact the greatest punishment he could.

"Gil, stop it!"

They were calling him, but he couldn't hear them. He couldn't understand what they were saying. He kept seeing Thena's lifeless face, the feeling of her Cosmic Energy fading into nothing. Now that there was no more Thena, he didn't even feel like he was on Earth anymore. There was nothing to center and anchor him. He felt as if all of his senses had been shut off and there was only pain remaining.

He had never been without Thena's energy to match the rhythm of his, not in all their millennia together. And now, all the air in his lungs was gone, his blood was no longer flowing because his heart was empty and void. He was afloat, trying to follow what remained of Thena in pure stardust.

Gilgamesh roared one last time as he tore the thing apart. What was once its body cavity was forced open with his fingers like an agate, revealing its jagged insides. Its arms were strewn and its head simply was no more. And yet still looking at it only made him want to do more.

"That's enough," his brothers attempted to pull him away, out of the crater he had created.

He turned away, throwing them off of him. He walked back to Thena, laid where he had left her. Her sisters were leaning over her precious body, but he waved them away.

He picked her up again, cradling her head and her poor, broken back. He held her delicate shoulders, which used to curl into him, seeking his warmth. His fingers slid into the depths of her thick blonde hair. She already felt cold.

His tears fell onto her. Once her hand would wipe them away, but now it lay limp beside her. He rocked them back and forth, his body now unsteady without anything real at all for connection. He pressed his cheek to her hair, "my Thena."

He could hear their family moving behind him. They were building a fire, to release her body, to follow her Cosmic Energy back to the stars and their home. But he held her tighter.

You may have to kill her; that was what they once said. And he had said that was a chance he was willing to take. Because he would take any chance in the world to be with his Thena even one more day. And for beings without natural death, he didn't take it lightly.

But this wasn't right. He didn't want to build her a funeral pyre. He didn't want his eyes to watch a fire consume the life of a woman whose every second and minute and hour he would weave into a beautiful tapestry of if he could.

They should have been home. They would have been in Australia, at the home they had built together. He would bury her in the warm, red sands, under the tree she liked. Life without her would be pain but at least he could continue his mission.

His mission was never to protect earth. It wasn't to kill Deviants or serve some far away god. His mission was to protect Thena. It was to love and cherish the woman who had been by his side from the moment he opened his eyes. And he would have spent the rest of Eternity protecting her, until Earth ripped itself in half to mercifully swallow him up into oblivion.

They expected him to give her up. But this was the woman he loved. He held the body of his wife, as preciously as he would on any day, or any night.

Thena had once said that she didn't want to be the one to kill him. She had begged him to kill her first. He had never agreed, because he didn't want to lie to her, but he didn't think he was capable either. He didn't want to endure the pain of living without her, something surely even his strength couldn't weather.

"I kept my promise," he whispered against her forehead, pressing a kiss to it. What a terrible promise it was. He had taken the chance, but to live with it was something harder.

"Gil," Sersi's soft whisper reached him, her hand on his arm.

"Just wait for me, sweetheart," he cooed to his ever-sleeping wife. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and under her knees, picking her up for the last time. The pyre was ready. Even if it was already lit, he would lean into the fire gently, just to lie her to sleep the way she liked. "I'll come and find you."

[throughpatchesofviolet]

I think the reason Heathlock has become my main ship is because Sherry, while being based off Sherlock Holmes, is the insert who's the most like me--because her counterpart does so many things I do, like getting moody for seemingly no reason, or getting hyper focused on a task, or having a cluttered space, or just observing things others miss. So, naturally, Sherry does all these things, too.

But the real comfort is when Sherry does slip into moodiness, or become averse to romance, Heathcliff is still there. He doesn't ever cross her boundaries, and (usually*) communicates with her about how she's feeling/what she wants. Even when she's not in the mood to be touched, he'll simply sit nearby and wait for her to invite his affection. Or he'll be quiet when he knows she's overwhelmed and needs silence.

He's very attentive to Sherry, and--while he never says it out loud-- him respecting her boundaries is a way he expresses his love for her.

[talentforlying]

idk if john will ever realize just how many times his big sister has had to mourn him because his idiot ass showed up on her doorstep to say a "final goodbye" and then just dropped off the grid for months afterwards. figure out the cell phone thing, man.

[eikichi-supremacy]

hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification

[melancholic-pigeon]

Okay this is the *actual* last comment, for real, but I just found out Spider is now smearing me as a convert and accusing me of being involved with drama I was not involved with because he mistakenly attributed my apologies for his public temper tantrum as being about something unrelated.

THIS IS A FALSE ACCUSATION and I do not appreciate having yet another bit of fake malicious intent falsely ascribed to my actions and* attributing a completely unrelated attack to me.

Also, it's very sad and disappointing whenever a Jew gets mad at a convert because something else is going on in the Jew's life and the convert happens to be in the splash zone and the Jew falls over backwards to smear the convert and invalidate her faith.

Just....the childish aggression is making me so, so sad and disappointed, from someone I used to think very highly of, who is now lying about me and publicly smearing me with false accusations based on a conflict he started because he misinterpreted something I said and I went out of my way to give him the benefit of the doubt when trying to clear up the mistake HE MADE that led him to decide bullying and attacking me for three fucking days was appropriate and okay and that I'm the bad guy for saying it's wildly unprofessional to behave like this in public to a former customer face.

Sorry, but facts, reality, linear time and the truth of what I actually said and did are on my side here, and I will not stand for being smeared and attacked and shat all over because I had the gall to try to kindly resolve his uncalled for, unjustified temper tantrum.

I am also not sorry that I left a side note in the tags that it was also unacceptable for HIM to drag his daughter into a stupid internet slapfight based on his own reading comprehension failure. Because it was and is unacceptable, and she needs to hear that message from someone.

End of story. Keep digging that hole as long as you like, Spider. It's not helping your case and is continuing to make you look progressively worse and more unreasonable, and the only person you have to blame is yourself.

*revised for clarity

[amaraudermind]

Something something Bruce love Gotham because it's his home, jason loves Gotham because it's in his soul, Duke loves Gotham because it's his family, Steph loves Gotham on purpose

[bumblingbabooshka]

Chakotay/Janeway/Tuvok date ideas always explicitly or incidentally involve pulling each other back from the jaws of death even after they've been swallowed whole.

[hella1975]

sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Ngl Horrid Henry is becoming that show I honestly forget about but then seeing something on it online makes me remember its existence...and also in todays case, how much I hated his parents, cause oh my god, the clip I just saw...

[lynxgirlpaws]

My dad will just drop some shit on me like "Yeah you know how I'd let you get non-diet soda as a kid? It's bc I wanted you to get super hyper before I dropped you back off with your mom so she'd have to deal with it :)" and expect me to laugh along like that isn't super fucked up and evil like what the actual fuck is his problem

[stellacadente]

sometimes i think i'll never heal from my trauma

[nerosdayinanime]

if i do go w sakonji being the owner im gonna pull that naruto gag for kakashi where every image of his face is perfectly obscured by some random object

leaf. bird. a large beetle. some paper flying in the wind. light glare. someone walking in front of him. a bag of coffee thrown across the shop. someone else's hair. speech bubbles. him facing the other way. etc