#he’s wearin them calvins

[pandolfo-malatesta]

“...appointment with Miss Cook for a consultation.” 

She emerged from the work room to hear her client greet Mr. Till.  Best not to let him wait too long at the desk; Mr. Till was liable to eat him up.

“Good evening, Calvin,” she said, smiling.

“Evenin’, Judith.”  As she ushered him to the sitting area he said, “Thanks for seein’ me so late.”

“It’s no problem.  Would you like something to drink, or perhaps a snack?”  She gestured to the cookie tin and jug of water already on the table.  Calvin seemed the type who wouldn’t ask for something, even if he were dying of hunger or thirst, if he thought it would be too much trouble for his host; so she’d set out the things in advance, in case he hadn’t had a chance to refresh himself between work and their meeting time.

Sure enough, he nodded.  “Some water’d be great.  And,” he added, with a shy smile, “I wouldn’t say no to a cookie, if you had one, too.”

“I believe I can manage that.”  She poured two glasses of water and offered the open tin for him to choose his treat.  Then she took her time to pick out her cookie, deliberating to give him time to eat his and gulp some of the water.  Eventually she plucked up a rectangle topped with chocolate and took a bite.  She gave it a second nibble before setting it aside.  “How can I help you?”

Calvin explained that Pauline’s birthday was coming up and that he was there to arrange a session for her.  “Not an original idea, but it seems to be the popular present these days.”

She grinned.  “I’m not about to complain.  I assume you have some ideas about the portrait, given that you wanted to discuss it beforehand.”  Otherwise he simply would have made an appointment for the sitting itself.

He nodded.  “I thought it would help if we figured things out together.  I want at least two poses, maybe three.  The first one’ll be a formal full-length portrait.  Most likely she’ll be wearin’ a light-colored dress, maybe a rose or pale blue, so it seems like a dark background would be better for that.  Not too dark, but somethin’ she won’t get lost against, ya know?”  Judith nodded.  “If it’s alright with you, I’ll bring a bouquet here before I bring her, and she might like to have those in the portrait with her.  For the other, I want to let her decide.  I’m goin’ to see if Medda will let me borrow a few costumes, an’ let Paulie pick what she wants to be.  Let her be a little fanciful.  I think she’d like that.”  His face pinked.

If Medda charged money to rent out costumes, she could make a bit of extra revenue.  Maybe the studio should get a few pieces and props to have on hand.  She’d bring the idea up to Papa and Mr. Till, just as a possibility.

“I think she would, too.  And the possibility for the third?”

“A head-an’-shoulders close-up.  She’s so pretty, it’d be a shame not to capture that.”  She couldn’t argue with that, in terms of either sentiment or aesthetics.  The adoring expression he wore was so sweet that she had to smile, which surprised her.  Shouldn’t she be envious of their relationship, especially when she was in the throes of unrequited infatuation?  That would make sense.  And yet here she was, as pleased as if she were on the receiving end of all of this thoughtful planning and attention.  

Judith jotted a few notes, and then the two of them returned to the front desk.  Mr. Till was still ensconced behind it; she nudged him aside to flip pages in the appointment book.  “When would you like the photos done?”

“Her birthday’s the twenty-third.”  A Saturday.  “How long in advance would we need to come in for the photos to be ready by then?”

She tapped a Sunday two weeks before.  “The tenth would be best, though I could manage it up until the nineteenth.”  It was more than enough turnaround time, but better to be safe than sorry, especially with a birthday present on the line.

“Nah.  The tenth’ll be fine, I think, long as it’s in the afternoon.”

“Three?”  She poised the pencil over the date. 

“Sounds great.”  He grinned.  “Thanks, Judith.  It’ll be okay if I drop the flowers an’ some o’ the other stuff off that morning?”

She nodded.  “I’ll be here all day.  See you then.”

“See ya.  Goodbye, sir,” he added to Mr. Till, who nodded with dignity.  Judith admired his restraint—right up until the young man was safely out the door; at that point Mr. Till sighed, seeming with that exhalation to melt.  He rested his chin in one hand.

“I don’t know where you made all these new friends, Cooky,” he said, “but I approve.”

Though he wasn’t paying any attention to her she rolled her eyes.  “I seem to recall you calling some of them con artists.” 

“The urchins don’t count.”  He dismissed Gussie and Tumbler with a wave of his non-load-bearing hand; the momentum of the wave pulled him upright again.  From the corner of her eye Judith saw him study her as she noted in the appointment book that Calvin would be delivering supplies the morning of the tenth.  He opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again; such hesitation was uncharacteristic.  He overcame it to ask,  “What about David?  He didn’t stop by today?”

He hadn’t, as it happened, and she wasn’t keen on pinpointing how that made her feel.  “Not that I know of,” she said, with a lightness she hoped Mr. Till didn’t see through.

“There’s always tomorrow,” he replied, and those words, that trite sentiment, that unexpected gentleness, struck her gut like a fist.  She didn’t need to be encouraged; she needed to be realistic, to keep her wits, to focus on her work.  Mr. Till’s teasing would have been more helpful now than this sincerity.  Blast these men for making her hope.

* * * * *

As promised, Calvin rushed in not long after she’d unlocked the door.  A bouquet in a vase was in his hands, and a large laundry sack was slung over one shoulder.  She took the flowers from him and directed him up the stairs, where she’d set up a makeshift clothing rack from a ladder, the top of the wardrobe, and a broom handle.  They’d need a bigger wardrobe if her costume idea took off.  As he hung the clothes he explained that he was expected at church with Pauline’s family before too long; the care he took with the borrowed garments extended to the sack they’d traveled in, which he laid out flat under the trailing skirts.  Then he hurried out again, calling his thanks as he went. 

At the appointed time the couple arrived, Calvin holding the door as Pauline swept in.  She made straight for Judith and caught her by the forearms before kissing her cheek.  “Oh, Judith, thank you,” she said, as Judith recovered from the unexpected affection.  

“Thank Calvin.  It was his idea.”  While Pauline shared a smile with her beau, stars in her eyes, Judith looked her client up and down: as Calvin had predicted, she was wearing a lightweight dress, though it was violet in color.  “You look lovely.  Shall we?” 

Calvin trailed them up the stairs, where in the studio Pauline gingerly unpinned her hat before looking in the mirror.  Without the slightest bit of self-consciousness she pinched her cheeks to bring out their color, then smoothed her skirt.  She turned to Judith with hands clasped in front of her like a schoolgirl, though her demure posture was belied by the bright eagerness of her eyes. 

Unsure how much Calvin had explained, Judith guided Pauline toward the dark wood pedestal set in front of the backdrop.  “This will be a full-length portrait,” she said, positioning the young woman atop one of a faint mark on the floor.  “I think it needs a little something, though.  Calvin?”

Pauline gasped, hands flying to her mouth, as he brought forward the bouquet.  They were cream-colored roses—a symbol of purity, yes, but more importantly, a testament to how well he knew her; red roses would have looked garish against her gown.  “They’re beautiful, darling,” she breathed.

Calvin smiled, less proud of himself than doting over her.  “You want to hold them?” he asked.  “Or...here.”  Cradling the vase to him he shimmied a single flower free of the bunch and handed it to her.  The rest he set on the pedestal behind her, whispering in her ear once he’d done so.  All of the cheek-pinching in the world couldn’t produce a complexion that glowed as much as Pauline’s did at that moment.

She inhaled the bloom’s scent as he retreated, then twisted at the waist to admire the bouquet behind her.  The effect was charming, if perhaps a little uncomfortable-looking; a glance at Calvin showed him enchanted by the sight.  With that, Judith made a decision.

She pulled the pedestal forward and then turned Pauline to face it, with one hand resting gracefully on the wooden plinth.  The angle of her head would be crucial: tilted too far down her chin and neck would appear unrealistically, unappealingly, unforgivably flabby.  Judith took care to play up her slim frame and fair features.  After a moment she stepped back to peruse the scene through the lens; then she emerged to make a few more adjustments until she was satisfied.

“Ready?” she called from behind the camera.  In response Pauline closed her eyes.  “One,” she said, and Pauline took a deep breath; “two,” and her eyes popped open; and at “three” she smiled as if seeing the flowers for the first time.

Calvin had only mentioned the possibility of a close-up shot, and they hadn’t discussed it today.  But not long after he’d left their consultation she’d made up her mind; this shot would be her gift to them.  So now she produced a plain chair and had Pauline sit, this time with the flowers behind her.  Stepping back, Judith saw that the bouquet drew the eye from Pauline’s face, so she moved it out of the frame.  This time she looked directly at the camera, lips turned up sweetly.  She could swear she heard Calvin sigh at the sight.

When the exposure had been made he bounded forward.  “Now for the surprise,” he said, helping Pauline out of her chair.

“Another?”

“Yeah.  Look.”  He led her to where the costumes hung.  “Pick one of these an’ put it on, an’ Miss Cook’ll take your picture in that, too.”

She started to examine the costumes but paused, hand on a diaphanous swathe of fabric.  “Turnabout is fair play,” she said, “so this will be a surprise for you, too.”

His eyebrows arched.  “How’s that?”

“You can see what I pick when the pictures are done,” she said with an impish smile.  “Go wait downstairs.”

“Really?  C’mon, Paulie...”

She flung out an arm with the conviction of a queen.  “Go!”  And out he slunk, muttering following him.

The satisfied smile lingered on her lips as she turned back to the rack.  “Sometimes I think I’m the luckiest girl alive," she said, flipping through the costumes.  “I’m sure it sounds silly, but Calvin knows me so well—what I like and what I’ll do.”

“He got the color of your dress wrong, though.  He predicted pink, or blue.”

Instead of being offended at the contradiction she laughed.  “I know!  He was so certain I’d wear something newer.  But I wore this dress the first time we met, so...”  The color rose in her cheeks, and Judith was sure that the appearance of that particular outfit had inspired a tender embrace or two before they reached the studio. 

Pauline held out a dress that seemed vaguely German, with a blue vest laced with white ties over the bodice.  “My mother would like this,” she said, “but I’d have to do a crown braid, and that would take too long.”  Another dress, this one velveteen with gold piping, looked fit for a down-on-her-luck empress; it was deemed too old for her, while a third’s black was too severe.  She swept them aside, and in doing so noticed something on the floor. 

“What’s this?” she wondered, already stooping to investigate.  She tugged at the laundry sack; rather than sliding easily and quietly across the floor as empty canvas ought to, it offered resistance, a rigid shape, and a muffled thump.  Judith looked on curiously as Pauline reached into the bag and withdrew a prop sword.  She sighed, somehow unsurprised.

When she rose, leaving the sword on the floor, Pauline looked as if she’d tasted something sour.  “Some of Calvin’s friends like to call me Shiv,” she explained.  She nudged the sword with her toe, and her frown deepened.  “I don’t know why he’d bring it up, though.”

“Why do they call you that, if you don’t mind my asking?”

Her mouth screwed up.  “A shiv is a make-do weapon.  A young man, one of Calvin’s friends, was flirting with me and stole a kiss.  So I stabbed him in the...backside with a hatpin.”

Judith tried unsuccessfully to stifle a giggle at that.  Pauline’s eyes widened and her mouth turned down in hurt for a moment; then she, too, smiled wryly.  Judith leaned down to pick up the sword.  She couldn’t say it felt natural in her hand, but there was something about holding a weapon, even a prop one, that made you feel a little stronger, a little bolder.

“Do you know the story of the heroine Judith?”

She shook her head and settled at the edge of one of the chairs, leaning forward a little as she listened.  Judith should have known the other girl would be interested in a good story.

“This Judith—Yehudit, in Hebrew—was also a Jewish woman, though she was very beautiful.  Her home was invaded by foreigners, and after a month of being besieged the Jews were ready to surrender.  The elders decided to give God five days to save them before they gave their city and themselves up to the enemy.”  Both women shook their heads.

“Judith, who was a widow with a reputation for wisdom, knew that God would deliver her people if they waited faithfully.  She tried to convince the elders of this, but they couldn’t go back on their vow to surrender after five days.  Otherwise they would look untrustworthy in the eyes of the Jews.  Judith was more concerned with keeping the people safe than they were with keeping their power and prestige, so she told them she would handle it and deliver them all.”  

Pauline was listening, rapt and wide-eyed.  Judith went on, “After she begged God to give her strength in bringing down their enemies, she dressed in her finest clothes, called a servant girl, and went out to the enemy camp.  They took baskets of food and wine, and Judith told the patrolling soldiers who met them that she would reveal the city’s secrets to their commander in return for his protection.  Since few men argue with a beautiful woman carrying food—”  Pauline snorted, shaking her head in disdain.  “—they let her stay.  They even let the women go out of the camp at night, because Judith told them that they were praying for God to reveal when the Jews would be vulnerable to attack.

“After the women had spent a few days in the camp Holofernes, the commander, called for Judith to join him for an intimate little banquet in his tent.”  The two shared a dark look.  Men were so simple, so predictable.  “Holofernes was so stunned by her beauty that he drank far too much.  When everyone else had left the tent after the banquet Judith prayed again; then she used his own sword to cut off his head.”

Pauline drew in a soft breath—not a gasp of surprise, as if Holofernes’ death was anything but inevitable or well-deserved, but a satisfied inhalation at a job well done.

“Judith’s servant put the head in the bag she’d carried the food in and they left the camp, as usual.  But this time they returned to the city to show the elders what Judith had done.  The next morning the Jews attacked and defeated the enemy army, though their deliverance was the work of a woman.”

They both stayed silent for a moment: it was the only proper response to such a story.  Judith imagined the woman who shared her name, the blood that must have stained her hands and clothes, the way she and her maid had to walk out of the camp when surely they must have wanted to hurry, to dance and shout on their way.  Though it was a fake, made for show, the sword felt heavy in her hand.

“I may not know Calvin well but it’s obvious he thinks the world of you.  So this—”  She extended the sword hilt first, letting Pauline close her fingers deliberately around the leather-wrapped handle.  “—would hardly be meant to mock you.  If anything, it’s a reminder, an affirmation of your strength.  Now, if a man gave me a shield, that would be like him saying, ‘Stay back, you need protecting.’  But a sword...  To me that means he trusts your capability.”

“That he hasn’t underestimated you.”

Judith blew out a breath, relieved that Pauline understood what she was getting at, and nodded.  “I’m far from an expert, but it seems to me that if a man trusts you and believes in you that much, you shouldn’t let him get away.”

“No,” Pauline murmured slowly, “I suppose you shouldn’t.”  Her gaze traveled the length of the blade, and her hand flexed around the grip.  Then she looked up at Judith.  “It must be an honor to share your name with a woman like that.  I don’t know of any heroines named Pauline.”

Instead of her ancient forebear Judith thought of the way David had laughed when she first introduced herself, the many ways he said her name.  A lump in her throat made it hard to breathe.  She pushed away thoughts of him to focus on her job and her client.  “Maybe,” she said, voice steadying as she went on, “one day someone will say that it’s an honor to have the same name as Pauline Hermann.”

Pauline huffed a little laugh, her face twisted in exaggerated doubt.  “Maybe,” she allowed, though her tone said otherwise.  Then she stood, set the sword aside, and clapped her hands.  “Now.  Back to work.”

She deliberated for a moment between the final two dresses, eventually dismissing the gauzy thing reminiscent of an ancient Greek robe.  The dress that remained was the color of summer in a forest, complete with shafts of sunlight shimmering through the gaps between leaves.  The sleeves belled out from the elbow; Pauline blushed when she realized that its square neckline would require her to remove her chemise, though it did not dip so low as to scandalize anyone.  A belt of golden links draped loosely around the dress’ middle.  “Queen Guinevere,” she said, a smile playing at her lips as she studied it.  Judith’s first thought had been Lady Macbeth, but the queen suited Pauline better.

As Pauline began to undress, Judith went about setting the scene.  The heavy chair with scrollwork arms; the backdrop with the blue sky above distant hills; artificial greenery sprawling out from the base of the little throne.  They didn’t own a crown, she knew, and Calvin hadn’t brought any headwear in his bag; but over in their little costume shop Pauline’s arms were raised to pull pins from her hair.  When it was all loose she combed her fingers through it, arranging it over her shoulders.

“Could you bring me the roses?”

Judith complied, carrying the vase to her.  “You don’t know how to make a flower crown, do you?” Pauline asked in the mirror.

“I’m afraid not.”

“Me either.”  She plucked out a flower nonetheless and pinned it over one ear.  In a few minutes she had a tiara of roses blooming over her golden tresses.

The scene Judith had put together made her smile, and she took a seat gingerly, careful not to disturb the flowers.  Judith stood back and gave her time to find her own pose.  It didn’t take long before she had, both feet flat on the floor and both hands on the arms of the chair, back straight and expression poised.  It would be a photograph worthy of exhibition, of being called art.  It wanted only one thing.

“Are you right-handed?” she asked.  When Pauline nodded, she leaned the sword there: its point by her right foot, much of the blade hidden by the skirt, the hilt resting inside the arm of the chair.  Pauline didn’t touch it, didn’t so much as move her hand; it was simply there, ready if the need for it arose.  Flowers in her hair and a sword close at hand—there was no way Calvin could be surprised by this portrait.

After Pauline had changed, sighing a little as she reverted to her everyday appearance, and Judith had secured her plates, the two of them packed up the costumes.  The former carried the laundry bag down the stairs, while the latter brought the bouquet.  This led to a shuffling in the waiting area, as Pauline handed off her load to her beau.

“Thank you,” she said, kissing Judith’s cheek.  “That was wonderful.  Especially the story.”  Her eyes were serious as they met Judith’s.

“I’m glad.”  And she was, truly.  “I enjoyed it.  Don’t forget your flowers.”

“I won’t.  Except this one.”  She slipped one of the roses behind Judith’s ear.  The petals tickled and she froze, afraid to dislodge it; Pauline beamed at her and reclaimed the rest from her unresisting hands.

“We’re all going dancing for my birthday,” she said.  “I expect to see you there.”  Though Pauline wore a bright smile and her eyes twinkled, there was a clear command in her tone that brooked no argument.  

Before Judith could even attempt to demur they were on their way out the door, Pauline waving gaily as they passed the window.  She watched the couple walk down the street.  Each had a burden, but their hands were entwined between them.  Now that there was no work to distract her, a wave of melancholy washed over her. 

But there was always tomorrow. 

My favorite quote from Judith: “God has sent me to perform with you such deeds as will astonish people throughout the whole earth who hear of them” (11:16) (this link is at the translation most like the one I read first).  For an overview of the story that Judith Cook would be more familiar with, here’s one from the Jewish Women’s Archive.

[armutluvotka]

I was tagged by @shroudofclouds !!

rules: go to this website: www.random.org/lists/ and pick 15 of your bias/faves.

mom/dad: Jungkook  ( lmao he be one of them dads that’s probably too into fixing shit so he’d fix everyone’s sink eventho the sink works just fine n the type of dad that gets u one of each type of tampon n pad brand available at di store bc thought they were all different things n now u have enough maxi pads to last thru di apocalypse )

sibling: Taehyung  ( ok i feel he goes between the bro that covers for u when u need it the most to the asshole that’s sketchy af but manages to stay under di radar of ur parents but then like locks u in di freezer w him n makes u film him imitating leo dicaprio in di revenant for 3 hours straight n makes u stay up to listen to his discourse abt calvin klein )

grandma/grandad: Jimin  ( he’d be one of those grandpas that has like weird crazy ass stories to tell n u think he joking but he actually dead srs n proceeds to show u a tramp stamp of a tiger he got tattooed n encourages u to get one n takes u to di parlor n also the type to do yardwork shirtless while listenin to rnb at 5am )

haunts you: Wonho  ( lmao he b one of dem ghosts that’s like emotional af n throws a lamp at the wall when u don’t put on di movie he wants eventho he di only one that wants to watch it n it’s a shitty rom com christmas movie )

boyfriend/girlfriend: Yoongi  ( he probably di boyfriend that holds ur earrings when u fight ppl n gets like cool snapshots of u knocking someone tf out n probably doesnt mind when u play childish gambino too loud at 4am until u start playin redbone on repeat n on di 12th time he tells u to get a fuckin grip )

your ex: Hyungwon  ( ok at first he would b di petty ex who is acting like dat bc he emotionally constipated but then u two end up becoming friends again n u guys become besties who bond over roasting tf out of ppl together )

your bestfriend: Kihyun  ( lmao he b di friend that tells u to hold his earrings bc someone said shit abt u behind ur back n he dat fiercely loyal friend who is like ur ride or die but at di same time says ‘i told u so’ when u throw up chipotle everywhere after ur 13th shot of fireball )

proposed to you: Hoseok  ( lmao he probably put the ring in ur starbucks coffee n sings swimming pools by kendrick lamar until u end up choking on di ring n then still continues w di song as he givin u di heimlich maneuver n also the type to tell u to smack his ass after u say yes )

your boss: Changkyun  ( he be di type of boss dat calls u in 3:30am in n says somethin shady af n hangs up abruptly but then also di type of boss that turns off his office lights n keeps di blinds shut so that no one knocks n when u go in his office there’s awkward silence where he breathin a bit too loud )

random person you meet at a bar: Jennie  (  she b di fierce ass binch at di bar who poisoned a man who was bein sleazy to gurls in di club but it ok bc she w di feds n probably winks at u as she shoves u in di back of di cop car n almost knocks ur ass tf out in doin so )

rival: Rosé  ( she b di type of rival that always seems nicer than u n ppl luv her n she lowkey shady sometimes but other times she enjoys competition w u n tells u dat in person but comes off as shady n it turns up wearin di same prom dress as u n insists u guys take a pic together but then u guys actually end up hanging out n slayin di dance together in di same dress )

first kiss: Namjoon  ( lmao he probably say somethin lowkey headass before di kiss n there’s like that weird tension where it’s silent for a few moments n he like ‘we should kiss’ n put ur hand on his tiddy during bc he wants to kno what it feels like )

drunk and singing karaoke: Jooheon  ( lmao he di type to do like a diana ross lipsync in like gets into it n actually does a good job keepin up n dancing w it but then pukes on di machine cause fireball n cries bc puke got on his shoes n his eyebrows comin off n u feels sorry for him so u wipe his shoes n reshade his eyebrows )

played 7 minutes in heaven with: Lisa  ( she probs di type to get nervous before u do anythin n like does a cute lil laugh n probably ends up snorting w di laugh n cute all around but also maybe knocks somethin down in di closet that ends up bustin ya head n u end up in di er before u can even like kiss n she feels so bad dat u never see her again )

gave you your favorite dessert: Seokjin  ( omg he di type to do dis n then u eat it n u start feeling weird n end up in di bathtub swimmin in boilin hot water bc ur trippin balls n it turns out he put an obscene amount of weed into making di dessert n feels bad so he eats some too n ends up fighting a binch w the toilet plunger bc the binch ‘was a piece of shit n the plunger is di only thing that should touch shit’ n u guys have a rlly bad high for di next 2 days where u wake up high but then repeat di same thing on purpose in like 2 weeks )

i tag: @namkwan, @jhoe, @lowkeyhoseok, @bipjm, @blushguk, @1995winemom, @taesfav, @tiny-miny-jimin, @gentlebangtan  !!