#he would thrive with the ghost of his dead (fake) husband and child haunting him and telling him to kill himself to be with them

[quietwingsinthesky]

now his hallucinations aren’t of the devil, not exactly. lucifer’s face and lucifer’s voice, but that’s sam’s husband. and he appears to sam bloody, whispers that sam needs to come join him, their daughter misses him. hallucifer is always a ghost but now it’s inescapable, sam is grieving someone he’s slowly realizing never existed except in his head but that doesn’t stop him from wanting to go back there. he was happy. whatever else was happening to him, he was happy.

also when dean finds sam and when he. sort of kidnaps him. sam is visibly in bad health, he’s just barely taking care of himself, he looks half-starved. and he gets worse after dean takes him away from his hallucinated family life because he spends a good chunk of the next month believing dean actually killed them. dean can’t leave sam alone for more than five minutes because they have too many guns around.