#he turns on kris and attacks them while getting his sibling to safety

[femkelotte]

                          ❝ I know when I say it, it doesn't say enough ❞

They met years ago --- he remembers it, she doesn’t. Back then Kristoffer was the light of her life and Samuel was, well, just some German duke. Then came Henryk, a relationship that was nearly as messy in itself as the breakup was. Then Samuel was there. Terribly mundane after two crown princes, and so eager to please her. He wasn’t clingy like Kristoffer had been, and he wasn’t quite as calm as Henryk had been. He was something different and he could keep her entertained.

                 Everything was adorable in the beginning: flowers, goodnight texts, whatever a textbook relationship was all about. He was still trying to woo her, and she didn’t say no to attention. But it was all very shallow, extravagance doesn’t make up for honesty. Their relationship developed through actions that were never planned. He didn’t win her over with carefully planned movie nights or flower deliveries. She didn’t impress him with pretty lingerie or invitations to exclusive parties. They didn’t see each other in those moments. It was when he showed up unannounced to Berlin when she was doing business there. It was when she simply booked a private jet and flew to Karlsruhe just because he threw the idea at her. It was when she got sick and couldn’t keep her walls up and let him take care of her. It was when he blew up because he couldn’t handle the irritation that was caused by one of her bad habits. It was when she nearly had a panic attack because it was the first time she ran into Kris after the breakup, and Samuel was the one who offered her a sense of safety.

                   Truthfully, they made good friends. They loved to talk about ideas. They hated the same people. They adored the same people. The first two years were nice. The initial spark died. They got lazy and, in a way, it was okay. There was no reason to pretend. They talked but it felt like they had gone through every topic there was. After two years they came to a point where they had to ask themselves: where was it going? He knew exactly where he wanted it to go. She wasn’t sure. When he brought up engagement for the first time, she almost laughed at him. Samuel Zähringer as her husband? He was nice, he was handsome, he was German. There was nothing wrong with him per say but she could do better, couldn’t she? But he was persistent, he made good points, and she trusted him. But most importantly, she knew he was at her mercy. His ambitions needed her, the way he looked at her made it clear that he was filled with affection --- she would have the power. 

                   So she said yes. Marrying him made sense. It made her look better. There was no way she could have entered her thirties without a ring on her finger. All was well for a while: they made a team. He started spending more and more time in Amsterdam, and with her family. She hadn’t thought that letting him become part of her family would feel somehow odd but it did. Every time someone mentioned him to her and how in love they must have been, she felt like a real impostor. Secrets are best kept when no one knows about them --- it’s why she never mentioned to anyone that her reasons for marrying Samuel had never had anything to do with love. There was affection, yes, and trust but she wasn’t the type to give her heart away like that. She had done it once and it had made put on a path that would have only lead to self-destruction. She couldn’t stand the idea of codependency. The idea that everything between them was artificial stuck in her mind, and she couldn’t get rid of it. 

                   Whenever he gave her a kiss she just felt like he did it because it was expected of him. Whenever he wanted to have sex, she just thought it was more or less lust and the desire to blow off some steam. It wasn’t really tender, or about exploring each other. It was about fucking. She didn’t mind --- what would have she done if he had made love to her?

                   After a while the whole dynamic started to feel suffocating --- this was the point when she packed her bags and followed her siblings to Shanghai. Just to get away from him for a while.To get a breather. He got there shortly enough. Because of her or because of Kalla, it didn’t matter, she was back to sharing her room with him. One thing she had never been able to stand about him had been his possessiveness. Not only was it constraining, it reminded her of Kristoffer. She didn’t care if it was the fear of losing her that drove him. It sounded a lot like a lack of trust, which was insulting. 

                   And then, oh boy, their relationship just got worse. They smiled for the cameras, told everyone everything was as good as it always was. But when they talked to each other it was mainly just a fight after a fight. Femke has always feared of the amount of information Samuel has on her. She isn’t afraid that he’ll spill something about her, that’s not like him, that’s not them. But he can use that information to manipulate her. He knows what will hurt her. He knows what will humiliate her. It’s one way to win fights. It’s the downside of confiding in someone. Samuel is steadfast and trustworthy but she doesn’t doubt his ability to explode when she drives him to it. Because whatever Samuel has on her, Femke has at least the same amount on him. She is quite ruthless when it comes to pointing out painful facts.

                   And when you thought it couldn’t get worse, she slept with Kristoffer. ( The anniversary of that was in December, I think. ) To be fair, it worked as a turning point for them. Samuel stopped being bossed around, taking back some of the power he was owed, she reconsidered the nature of their relationship. Because she knew her guilt wouldn’t have tormented the way it had, if she didn’t respect and value Samuel. She couldn’t lose Samuel, she realized. The past year’s just been finding a new footing, making up for old mistakes. 

                   Samuel put her on a pedestal and she wouldn’t have had it any other way. She remained there for years, even when they talked about being each other’s equals. He should have taken her off of it earlier, not after she betrayed him in the cruelest way. The way he saw her as a catch fueled his doubts and fears, and ultimately his controlling behaviour made them a reality.  Her problem was that she never quite thought Samuel was really worthy of her --- especially when he didn’t demand a thing from her. It strengthened the notion. Everything always happened according to her schedule, he cancelled plans, and she sometimes told him, she’d go to an event alone. Femke is also bad at assessing her own emotions. Someone puts an idea in her head and it becomes a reality for her, she adjusts her own feelings to fit the reality. She is a cold-hearted woman who is incapable of love? Maybe she is, is it truly that bad a thing? That kind of women make good logical decisions. Her and Samuel’s relationship is nothing but a facade? That’s probably true, thus there’s no reason to waste her feelings on him. He won’t love her, he’s in it for the power and money. Femke knew very well that he admired him but she was never sure about love. It kept her from warming up to him too much. 

❝  I don’t want to be the fool who cares for you when you don’t give a shit about me.  ❞

                  Samuel on the other hand needed and I suppose, needs, the reassurance. It’s a small wonder that he feels underappreciated and perhaps even lonely when Femke can’t get a single affectionate word out of her mouth. I fact checked, she still hasn’t told him that she loves him. Even after nearly six years, their signals keep crossing. They are two surprisingly different people when it comes to relationships: she likes when people keep a little bit of distance, and he craves for unlimited affection. She believes that mundane things, like routine, is the best kind of proof of love and companionship. He’s more romantic and thinks weekend getaways and surprise gifts are what make a relationship a relationship. She doesn’t need words; he needs to hear them to believe it to be true.

[ofendlessstardust]

Weaknesses and Insecurity: Fa.ndom OCS

Seren still believes he is a monster. He also failed to honor his mother’s final request to save his sister, killing his father in the end only to protect himself.

He also feels he is a burden and an inconvenience to his new family

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Vera has been told pretty much from day one that she shouldn’t be the heir to the throne because of her common bloodline, and though she pretends it doesn’t bother her, it does

She has also felt jealous over Seren’s bloodline claim to the throne, and then instantly felt awful, because it comes through his father

Also, she failed to protect her brother from the nightmare monster that attacked him in his father’s form

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Jun has a massive fear of abandonment tied up in some issues with his self worth. Reminder: Jun was old enough to remember his birth parents when they abandoned him because neither of them wanted him.

He also holds some guilt over the feelings he’s harboring for his best friend’s brother, and is terrified Shae will hate him when he finds out

Also, the pressure of living up to his dads’ legacies

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Akio has massive insecurities that come from his mother constant verbal abuse of him for years. He struggles to believe he is good enough for anything

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Jordis is actually physically very weak. She’s all bark and no bite, and she hates it.

She also has been unable to find Shula, and is terrified that she may have lost the one person in the universe who gives a shit about her

She hides behind her inventions and sass and snark to hide the fact that she has a hard time relating to people

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Although she covers it up well, Shula is also afraid that Jordis is dead, or that she will never find her. Jordis is all she has in this universe [for now]

Shula doesn’t get attached to people easily, and while she is very friendly, she doesn’t let people into her heart so easily. But once you are in there, you are there for life, and she is terrified of losing anyone important to her.

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Bryn is scared of losing her parents. She loves them both dearly, but hasn’t been spending a lot of time with them, and she worries that they will die before she gets the chance. Her father in particular.

She is also afraid of being seen as a freak by her friends, or that they will stop trying to keep up with her seemingly random leaps in logic and topic of conversation, and just leave her, or mock her behind her back. She had “friends” when she was younger who only pretended to like her until they got tired of it and told her there was no way anyone would ever like someone like her. 

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Rieke is infertile, and compensated for that by creating the Greeed, and will take in pretty much anyone as her child. She also originally comes from an era where a woman’s main purpose was to bear children

She was in love with the King, who manipulated and used her, until he turned on her children, and she was unable to protect them from him

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Sunan never knew his birth parents, and doesn’t know what happened to them. He spent his first few years in an orphanage and while he’s very friendly, he’s also eccentric and strange in a bit of an unnerving way, to the point that he scared off any potential adopters. He at one point overheard the people in charge saying that he would probably never get adopted because of that.

Although Ankh and Eiji did adopt him, and he has a loving family, he still worries that in the end, no one else will want to be around him, or that Eiji and Ankh will change their minds.

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Avis is a Greeed created by Rieke to be Eiji and Ankh’s daughter, and Sunan’s sister. Although Rieke turned her “human” like she did Ankh and his siblings before her, she still can manipulate fire and carries over some bird-like behaviors

She’s weird and technically a monster, and while she acts confident and comfortable with it, she isn’t completely

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Jade keeps everyone subtly at an arms length, talking a lot about many things, and seeming friendly and open, but deflecting questions about herself. She doesn’t want to let people get attached to her, and she’s sort of used to being on her own anyways, or that’s what she tells herself.

She also carries some regret for leaving her father alone all these years, and for what she is still hiding from him.

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Altair is worried that he might not be able to protect Hana and her friends, and worries that he may have made the wrong decision to pretend to be a Shadow, especially if Hana finds out.

Or Kris. He’s taken a liking to him, and doesn’t want him to know something like that about him, even if it isn’t true

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Mari is afraid of losing Angela. She loves the Ghos.tbus.ter dearly, and only wishes for her safety and happiness.

She is also afraid of having the same fate befall her as did her past life, becoming brainwashed and turning against those she loves and hurting innocent people

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Remy is worried about living up to his mother’s legacy, and not being able to support and protect his cousin Seren. He views himself as pretty useless.

He also believes that he is difficult to love, based on his relationship with Dorian

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As a rare and new crossbreed of a Zyuman and a human, Yuuna feels she doesn’t really belong to either species, and often feels like she is alone in the world, even with her father.

She also is scared that people will think she’s a freak, which is why she usually hides her tail, and wears a hat in case her ears pop out

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Pagi is scared of failing Kris the same way Altair is scared of failing Hana

He also worries that maybe he’s not the Imaginary Friend Kris deserves, given that he keeps breaking things, and is mostly just clumsy and awkward, and all he’s good at is studying.

He’s also scared of something happening to Altair

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Hyeon sometimes worries that he’s trying to do too much, with his internship with Kougami and his pre-med studies. But he feels like if he gives up or “lessens” one of them, he will be letting his dads down