#he served looks all night

[larrylimericks]

5Feb23

Our hearts raced, our palms — they were clammy; The card then got handed to Granny. The night’s biggest honor And all eyes were on her ... Well, shit! Harry took home THE Grammy!

[art-killed-the-superstar]

It was a wedding upstate that rekindled an ache I thought it would fade, boy But it keeps coming in waves, boy

we all deserved some closure.

[justaz]

arthur repealing the ban on magic and sitting merlin and morgana down to figure out who is going to be court sorcerer and ready to mediate a debate but before morgana can even open her mouth, merlin passes to position onto her. arthur and morgana just stare, morgana makes feeble attempts to spark an argument, to instigate merlin to at least fight for it. even arthur is like “…you don’t even want, like, a room or something for your magic work?? none of the perks?? a different position in the court?????” and merlin’s just like “nope! i’m good!” and morgana and arthur exchange a look before arthur asks why. merlin’s answer is that his position, where he belongs, is at arthur’s side. besides. morgana deserves it. she was snubbed from becoming queen so it was only fair.

[man-i-love-folklore]

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HE PULLED UP AND HE LOOKS SO FINE OMLLLLLLL

the hair half up half down? are you trying to kill me Andrew?

[ratatatastic]

"Who's idea was it to put the cone on your head for the parade? Was that all you?" "Zach Eisenberg [Director, Executive Operations]—I think is his name—he takes care of us a lot at Amerant Bank Arena. I don't know his exact role with the team but he's just kind-of always around, and helps us out. He's friends with Brooks [Koepka.] I think he helps Brooks when he comes to the games. Anyways he found a pylon or I think I might have told him—I was pretty drunk at the time but I think I told him to go get a py—'if you could find a pylon, find one!' 'Cuz they sprung that speech on me, kind-of, last second, you know, five minutes before I was supposed to go up there. I'm like, 'What the fuck am I gonna say?' So I had him go grab the pylon and I grabbed it on the side of the stage right before I was gonna do my speech. And luckily all the clips are of that, you know, me telling him to go fuck himself... 'cuz the rest of my speech was terrible. There's really nothing to it! And I'm so happy that, you know, all the clips are only of that so!" "Yeah, we didn't know you said anything else! I thought that was the entire speech!" "That's all that matters!" "Exactly, exactly! I got away with it there!"

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)

i love finding out they basically told ekky he was gonna have to do a whole speech 5 minutes before he was up while hes been drenched from rainwater and alcohol for like the past 6 hours absolutely pissed out of his mind like yeah no wonder his speech basically culminated to THANK YOU SOUTH FLORIDA AND ALSO GIVE IT UP FOR MY D PARTNER WOOOOO yeah that tracks

"But what golf tournament* were you at shortly after that? Somebody was dressed like a cone? Was that Lomberg who was dressed in like a costume? A cone costume?" "He came—Brooks came up to you—" "No, that was his buddy, that was his buddy. He was actually a Sunrise police officer. I actually saw him last night at the Zach Bryan concert! But yeah, no, that's one of his buddies. No, he was completely put to bed the day after. Right? Like he texted me—I personally didn't care, like, how many people at a hockey game are calling me a cone and telling Barkov he's got no hands like it's—you know, that's hockey. That's sports, right? So I didn't give a shit but—yeah, no, it was all in good fun. And then I got a way to get him back! It's perfect!" "But when you did see the first video of him in the box—and I remember watching that, I'm like, 'this motherfucker is rolling esctasy!' His eyes were fuckin' gigantic, he's like, 'Aaargghh.' Like, 'I can't take him, he's calling me a cone! I can't—' But that is kind-of odd that a professional athlete is gonna call you a cone and he's like a fan of yours...it's just—it was really bizarre!" "Goofy!" "Yeah..." "And his eyes were black which, you know..." "What does that mean?" "I just know what that means... and he was fucked up, you know..." "Yeah, yeah! He was definitely fucked up and he agreed that he was fucked up. And he apologised so I didn't care, obviously. And then when I was at that golf event I should've thrown a beer at his backswing or something—at the LIV event when he was actually competing? I should've fucked with him but I couldn't do it... I couldn't—I couldn't find the courage to throw something at him..." "So did he reach out to you like that night? And say, 'Hey, dude... I was just joking, you know...'" "'I took some pills and...'"

*2023 LIV Golf Team Championship (Miami) held from Oct. 20-22 in Doral

[and i suppose more context here lombo and koepka are friends and he even showed up to his cupday when he went golfing in parkland and not to mention that lombo facilitated koepka apologising to ekky so its why the whole cone costume came to be really]

theres a lot more context about this incident and the ensuing storm after it so for archival sakes here are articles about it (x)(x)(x)(x)(x) because its quite a saga but its water under the bridge and there's only so much tabloid-esque coverage thats been reignited after the ekky speech i can take about an athlete who's dumb enough to insult another guy while hes drunk off as his ass in a fucking public setting

but anyways i think its really funny that i said to myself wow thats an oddly petty thing to admit to you know the whole wanting to throw a beer at his backswing ekky... for such a good vibes sweet man who like the only thing youve particularly said about the cone novella is "we'll never be buddies" to which you quickly retracted and then went "holding ill will against somebody and pulling negativity in your body is never a good thing"

and then i remembered who he attended the liv event with and it all made sense

behind every aqua whos being a little mean there is a much worse much more evil looming presence who is encouraging them down this dark path (a gem but especially a june gem)

truly a tale as old as time

[fuckmeyer]

hot tip: EXCLUSIVE behind-the-scenes content available to those who livechat my fic to me

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent game related things .. hrmm...

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

“By night all cloaks are black, Your Grace.”

- Bran III, ASOS

The Night’s Watch is probably the most underrated institution in the fandom, which is quite interesting considering the fact that an ice apocalypse is about to befall Westeros and the NW is the one thing standing between the Others and the rest of the realm. Sometimes, we tend to look at the coming Long Night as the North’s fight or even just the NW’s fight when really it’s humanity’s fight. It’s a fight everyone will have to mount against winter - and death itself. That’s why I like the quote linked above. Because at the end of the day, when night falls and winter comes, all cloaks will have to turn black. Everyone will have to become part of the night’s watch whether they like it or not. So the Night’s Watch evolves from being a ragtag group of a few hundred to a group that encompasses tens of thousands. It probably why the vows say “I am the watcher on the walls”. Not the Wall (singular) but walls (plural). But doubly important is the post of the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, whose job is to lead and command the entire Watch through this winter. He has to keep morale high, has to provide food and resources and training, has to come up with battle strategy, has to ensure that the NW remains true to its purpose, has to make and keep peace between all the different factions and prepare them for the coming winter, and so on. He has to deal with hundreds of lords and kings and dozens of armies. He becomes the most important lord in all of Westeros when you think about it. So it looks like our current Lord Commander, Jon Snow, has a lot of work cut out for him. But thankfully, GRRM spent an entire book preparing him for the task.

[eebie]

so davespri5te bird dave is a goner huh 

[millipedish]

Oh Lore?

Just read all the descriptions of the minion cards in Wishing Night, and it really does recontextualize the whole story. I'm still trying to make it all slot it in my brain. Spoilers abound ahead.

The most shocking revelation is that the Queen's husband is Midas. I somehow like...that never seemed like a possibility. I thought that Midas was some immortal being all sad and alone, rotting in his castle as the magic twisted him. But it turns out he was just, a guy, who's been a donkey all these years. Even after he left the count's castle where he was banished to.

For a world that's so fearful of anything magical, I do wonder how they accepted their donkey headed king to come back. It seems like Midas never really did become a less scary king. He went around sucking people's souls out for food. Maybe there was some other threat that they needed his protection from, or maybe he'd become so powerful that they couldn't say no to him.

Curious that the Queen went into exile with Midas. Or did he and the Queen meet when Midas was still a donkey? That's kind of cute, it's like a twisted Beauty and the Beast. This is a rather pleasant image of that time, though I do think that the Butler is romanticizing here. I do wonder if the Queen knew that Black Swan was kidnapped. Then again, her memory was wiped from her time in the mirror, so not even she knew she was kidnapped.

In the ranger, warrior, alchemist and witch universes, Black Swan kills Midas before can leave his banishment. Does she kill the Queen too, or does she leave to swear her revenge? This is unknown, because the sequel takes place in the Mechanic universe, where Red and Jerry never came to jog Black Swan's memory. Or had Midas now met the Queen by the time Red and Jerry rolled in? This would conveniently explain why you can’t encounter the Queen in Diaries mode, and I’m sure it’s not just because the devs hadn’t conceived of the Queen back then. 

Or the divergence point could be Midas. The Flag Bearer’s description seems to describe the beginning of the curse, started by…something? That Midas shot? Whatever he did, he had an immediate effect on the whole place. He was also transformed into a donkey right away, as opposed to other timelines where it’s described that his metamorphosis was slow, starting with his ears that he was able to hide under his hair. But then again the barber is still here, so I don’t know?

So the question is, what happened to Black Swan in the Mechanic universe? She is oddly absent in the present. 

We also know that, in the Mechanic universe, the couple adopts another child, specifically because the Queen is unable to bear children. Maybe this is a side effect of really being a bird. I feel that he was adopted after Black Swan left, when they were feeling lonely and they missed having children around. I wonder if this kid was kidnapped, too? Seems like Midas wouldn't have to go through the trouble- this universe is chock full of orphans.

Oh yeah, the Scripture Priest's description totally supports my theory that the queen used her first wish to become human. I think the most interesting thing regarding the king is that he turned human and his sickness both started when the Forest Spirit disappeared. It seems somehow both his curse and his mortality are tied to the curse on the forest. I do like this, story wise. This idea that magic is an ecosystem in itself and when you suddenly remove one part, other organisms are going to react in unexpected ways.

Kind of like how the death of the Forest Spirit didn’t fix everything, also. I mean for one Jerry is dead. But the people who have been monsters are distrusted by the townsfolk and some never even turned back. The Priest is dead but the church is still up to its bullshit. It paints a more crapsack world than I was seeing before, where people in charge constantly twist the truth to hurt people. 

When it came to Little Red Riding Hood’s minions, I was lowkey disappointed. It turns out she didn’t make a majority of these robots and they actually, I guess, fell from a floating country? And I find myself really not caring about King Jack or whatever, though there is one curious thing. And old wizard is the son of a survivor of the Kingdom of the Sky, but also it says that the enemy the Sky Ranger came directly from there. So then did this country fall recently, or generations ago?

Then again, Sky Ranger is very clearly modeled after Peter Pan, so maybe he’s unaging as well.

The Witch’s minions paint much of the same picture of a world where people are ostracized for having anything to do with or being suspected of magic, but with this added portrait of a found family of various creatures within the Witch’s cottage. 

The Witch feels like the most queer coded character, what with her being tossed out by her father and taking in all these magical runaways. Sadly she is quite afraid of Little Red Riding Hood so it’s unlikely the two of them would be friends. 

There is one other bit of exposition to be found in one of the Witch’s minion cards which kind of slots a lot of things into place as far as how magic works in this world.

So there is no such thing as white and black magic, magic just exists. I’m into that. But the second statement is especially interesting to me. The Witch longs to make friends with other humans, and is willing to go as far as to force magic on them to make them like her. I think she’s trying to create another witch. When the Pig Widow approached the witch looking for her husband, she said, “I have a better idea.” How ironic if the witch meant to give her magic powers so she could find her husband, but ended up transforming her instead. 

This could also apply to Midas. It could be he was one of those humans whose body wasn’t able to handle magic, and when he tried to force it, his body’s only recourse was to turn into a donkey.

[lord-shitbox]

win for the gozu and mezu fandom. ill have time to clean up+post this within a month

[musical-chick-13]

“Ugh, but opera’s so bORiNg, it’s not about anything”

I am, at this point, BEGGING you. To watch/listen to a modern opera. Something made this century, or the end of the last one. It is no longer a request, it is a demand.

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

When you form your own grid on top of the grid it doesn't mean the owner of the Grid can't come Knocking

[retiredteabag]

Sukuna assimilating to you

Synopsis: After discovering that Sukuna has been wide awake every time you nap together, you become embarrassed around him.

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

It is a scientific fact that when we are around people we love and trust, while in a healthy relationship, the release of oxytocin makes us sleepy.

Sukuna does not need sleep. He is the king of curses, able to continuously use his technique without ever becoming exhausted. When you first suggested that his chambers were "perfect for napping", he had simply raised a brow and considered what that could possibly mean.

You are like a weak creature to him. A kitten or perhaps a rabbit. And since you are never safer than when you are in his presence, you frequently find yourself growing sleepy when you are around him.

Throughout your strange relationship with the king, something that you loved most, is that there never needs to be words exchanged between the two of you. You were both contented to sit in silence. Frequently dozing off together, or so you thought.

You caught on eventually, that he was always awake before you. That his breathing pattern never really changed. That his face never relaxed more than it would if he had simply been sitting with his eyes closed.

One morning, after having stayed the night sleeping, you mumbled to him, "How is it you're always awake before I?"

He rose a brow at you, his upper set of eyes were looking into yours, the lower staring at how you lay across his bed sheets.

"I do not know your meaning." He grumbled out.

You huffed, rolling your eyes. "You never sleep in longer than I do, one day I would like to wake up before you."

"I never sleep at all." He stated before you had even really finished your sentace.

"What?" Your breathy outburst echoed slightly in his bed chamber, "What do you mean you don't sleep?"

"I do not require such things." He turned his torso now toward you, all four eyes studying your face, you had quickly sprung up, seemingly miffed.

"So... so all this time, you've just been... laying there while I've been sleeping?"

"I suppose I have, I do not see how this matters in the slightest." "It matters because I've been... It's just been a big waste of time for you. Sukuna you should have said something." You're upset, he can tell. Your face is scrunched up, your blood is pounding in your veins. Sukuna, however, does not know what to say in this situation.

In all honesty, he figured you knew and were just including him. Did you really think he was that weak? Or could you simply not conceive of a restless existence? Whatever the answer, he had no response for you, expecting a shrug of the shoulders- you he would discover, would not so easily let go of things.

And how humiliated you were. How many HOURS had you spent sleeping with him, within his grasp, in his space for him to have been conscious the whole time? You tried thinking back, attempting to recall a time you had requested a nap when he was uninterested.

He had never uttered a word about it. Never turned you down. Sukuna was not a kind king, he rarely ever did things that were not out of necessity, and he certainly did not do things he didn't like. That, at least, was consolation. You knew he had not been suffering for your sake, but even so, it was embarrassing.

Sukuna, still, could not understand your sheepishness about the subject. He did not care to explain that time works differently for him, that his mind is not so simple as yours and does not require entertainment all the time, that he could sit still for years and not be bothered, and frequently did before you came along.

He assumed you would get over it quickly. In your time as well as his. But days passed and he rarely saw you. You took your dinner with other people of the palace and spoke with him in the most cordial manner. One night, he informed Uraume that they needed to prepare a dish suited for you, something that would entice you, and serve it to him.

He figured this would bring you crawling back to him, tail between your legs. Yet, you did not budge.

Odd.

You were wallowing. You knew it. He did not care to spend time, what? Watching you sleep? Of course, he wouldn't, but it hurt your pride, to know you had been taking up such huge chunks of time lazing about in his presence. Well, not anymore. You slept in your chamber and your chamber alone. Gone were the days of blankets on the engawa, gone were the days of resting beneath the kotatsu while laying your head in his lap, gone were the days of sharing his bed.

If ever he wished for someone to share his bed, he had a whole cast of concubines, though you knew they were never of any use to him, they were mostly just house staff with a fancy title.

The evening he finally decided enough was enough, you were in the washhouse doing laundry.

Your back was arched over a bin full of soapy water. Your hands working tirelessly on some cloth.

"Have you not circumvented me enough?" He spoke in a low and slow tone.

"Lord Sukuna." You bowed, clothing in your hands, suds up your forearms, you bent your neck as to not look at him.

"You will reply now." He raised a brow, watching your hands quietly splash in the washbin.

"Was there something you would like me to assist to?" You questioned. Your head was full of possible reasons for what the king meant by seeking you out personally.

"Do you believe that by not sleeping in my presence I would come to believe you do not require rest?" He spoke in an unserious tone, eyes unblinking.

"No, my lord." Now what was he playing at? Of course that wasn't your intention.

"Then you hide yourself from me because you no longer have time for your king, I suppose." He mused.

Oh, for heaven's sake, "No, my lord."

"I see," He bent down to look you dead in the eyes, "So, you must no longer crave my occupancy of your space. You must not desire my hand running through your hair? I suppose you have tired of staying in my chambers?" His tone remained deep but his eyes were dead serious now.

"I-" You began, but suddenly you felt the urge to cough, swallowing you tried again, "I wished not to preoccupy so much of your time."

"And you made this decision without enlightening your king."

You said nothing.

"You will eat with me tonight, you shall stay in my chambers henceforth." He rose in record speed, turning without a second glance your way, maids were staring wide-eyed at the king of curses as he halted at the entrance of the washhouse. You could not see, but there was finality in his voice.

"I wish not to waste-" You were cut off by Sukunas voice, his broad back still facing you.

"Your wishes do not interest me now, so it seems. It is my wish for you to spend your time with me." His steps resounded through the compound, your face slack.

The maids smirked, and with shocked faces, side-eyed one another. A couple entered the washhouse giving you big open-mouthed smiles, and patted your shoulder as they passed.

That night Uraume made something you would go on to beg them to make for years to come. And when Sukuna pulled you prone from your seated position on his bed, he took a firm fingertip and stroked the space between your eyes, one of his enormous hands encircling your skull and massaging your temples with his thumb and ring fingers. He traced the bridge of your nose to your forehead, the way you would stroke a cat.

Perhaps he thought this would induce drowsiness but all it did was make you feel all floaty inside at his silliness.

And for the first time since that night, you slept alongside him. Within his embrace, and when you awoke, Sukuna's eyes were closed.

[nezuscribe]

part one

ok imagine it’s one of those nights that you’re down at the dining hall eating dinner, unsure if you should say something to your supposed husband, gojo.

it’s been a couple of weeks that you’ve started eating together, and you’re not sure what spurred his change of heart.

you talk a lot when it’s awkward or when you’re trying to fill a silence and so you let it slip that it was never supposed to be him you married.

“what?” he said, his fork raised midair as you blink owlishly at his confusion.

“what?” you parrot back, taking a sip of some wine as his bright blue eyes stare back intently at yours. he’s so pretty that it’s unfair.

“what do you mean?” he leans forward a bit, his fingers locking in front of him, “who else would you have married?”

your tongue clicks against the roof of your moth as you shrug in embarrassment, laughing uncomfortably. your mother (though she hates it when you call her that, not wanting to be associated with the bastard daughter her husband, your father, brought back all those years ago) would be livid if she heard of your slip up.

“oh, nothing, um, i don’t even know what i was talking about,” you chuckle lowly, moving some peas around on your plate.

you can still feel his burning stare on the side of your head, knowing that he won’t stop until you tell him.

“it’s nothing, really,” you mutter, glancing up to look at him, “but before this proposal came i was supposed to marry this other…man,” you wince thinking of the man who initially proposed to you, his slimy smile, the way he looked at you like nothing more than a vessel to carry his heir.

“who?” gojo presses, not noticing the way his jaw was clenching or subconsciously looking at the gold ring around your finger, one he haphazardly picked, but now wonders what it would look like if another man wed you.

why is he so jealous?

he already knows the answer, the time he heard you crying to your maid seated into his memory. he’s not sure why he wants you to say it, why he even wants to hear it.

you swallow thickly, heat rising to your cheeks as you glance over at gojo.

“naoya…naoya zenin? i dont know if you’ve heard-”

“i know naoya,” gojo said curtly, watching the way you cringed at his tone.

a heavy beat of silence washed over the two of you.

“are you happy you didn’t marry him?” gojo asks suddenly, poking at this question that’s been suffocating him for nearly a month.

you tilt your head slightly, your eyes piercing his, squinting as you try to gauge what he’s feeling at the moment. he notices that you do that a lot, especially with him.

“are you happy you married me?” you counter, and watch as a his eyes shift, darkening for a second as he glances away from you.

happy? he’s not sure. he’s rarely been truly happy in his life, everything he’s done has had a purpose, even this marriage served a purpose, but he’s more than glad you didn’t marry that zenin.

but he takes too long to answer, watching the small sad smile that overtakes your face, confirming the thoughts you’ve been riddled with since you married him.

you excuse yourself for the night.

gojo stays in his seat, twirling his ring around his finger.

fuck.

[kbwrites]

“Who did this to you?” A deep voice echoes, vibrating around the walls of the throne room. On the opulent throne sits the owner of the baritone voice — Ryomen Sukuna. The king of curses, resting his head on his arm as he looks down at you, too scared to look up from your feet.

“I don’t like repeating myself.” He warns, your body hasn’t ceased shaking. Your uniform is tattered, the rips in the fabric revealing deep purple bruises. Uraume was the one that found you, unconscious in the butlers pantry. After waking you up they brought you to the throne room. So there you were, kneeling at the feet of your king.

You arrived to the estate a year ago, your life as a servant was agreeable. Lord Sukuna treated all his servants well. You were loyal, efficient and pleasant to look at, it was only a matter of time before he started to notice you.

At first he requested you be the one to serve him breakfast. Then it became lunch, and suddenly you tended to all his meals. He demanded you for everything, his bathing, dressing. He could do all of these things himself of course, but he prefered your gentle hands. His personal attendant, not even Uraume, had seen the king of curses at his most vulnerable... but you had bared witness to all of him.

“Fine, if you won’t tell me who. Then why?” Ryomen slowly rises from his throne, his looming figure towering over your kneeling body. He lowers himself to your level, one hand reaches down to lift your chin. Firm yet gentle he forces you to look up at him, your eyes meeting his red ones. Your once flawless skin is covered in bruises. His eyes darken.

“They t-think you favor me.” Is all you can manage to get out.

Word spreads around the estate of course. And plus Sukuna didn’t exactly hide his preference for you. You didn’t sleep with the rest of the help, you were given a room connected to his. ‘In case he requested your presence in the night’ but the reality was he slept better knowing you were near. You didn’t eat the servant food, you dined in the great hall. At a separate table he had made for you. All of these things on full display for the others to see, it wasn’t long before the insults started. At first it was the odd ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ being mumbled in passing. Then an accidental shove into the wall, always followed by a curt “sorry”.

But today? It was your birthday. You had only mentioned it to Ryomen in passing one day at breakfast. He never understood the need for such a useless celebration. You went about your duties for the day, when Uraume found you and handed you a small box. And there on display for everyone to see, a beautiful beaded bracelet made from polished cherry wood. A token of appreciation ‘for your hard work’.

A gift from the king of curses.

“What’s so great about you anyway?”

“Lord Sukuna’s bed-warmer gets everything she wants!”

They punched and kicked, throwing you into the pantry. The group of servants you once thought of as your family. Clouded by jealousy, hatred towards you — the lord’s favorite.

Ryomen Sukuna, the epitome of ruthlessness and malevolence, softens his gaze. He looks upon your trembling form with… pity? His moment of weakness is replaced by an unreadable expression.

“You have been relieved of your servant duties. You will stay here in my quarters from here on out.” It’s a demand, leaving no room for objection. Your eyes well up with tears looking up at your king, his other hand wipes them away. He rises, walking towards the door, his back facing you.

“Get up. Uraume will tend to your injuries. Once you are well, we will visit the servant’s quarters. You will point out those who laid their filthy hands on you, and I will kill them.”

part 2 out now!!