#he served looks all night

[larrylimericks]

5Feb23

Our hearts raced, our palms — they were clammy; The card then got handed to Granny. The night’s biggest honor And all eyes were on her ... Well, shit! Harry took home THE Grammy!

[art-killed-the-superstar]

It was a wedding upstate that rekindled an ache I thought it would fade, boy But it keeps coming in waves, boy

we all deserved some closure.

[justaz]

arthur repealing the ban on magic and sitting merlin and morgana down to figure out who is going to be court sorcerer and ready to mediate a debate but before morgana can even open her mouth, merlin passes to position onto her. arthur and morgana just stare, morgana makes feeble attempts to spark an argument, to instigate merlin to at least fight for it. even arthur is like “…you don’t even want, like, a room or something for your magic work?? none of the perks?? a different position in the court?????” and merlin’s just like “nope! i’m good!” and morgana and arthur exchange a look before arthur asks why. merlin’s answer is that his position, where he belongs, is at arthur’s side. besides. morgana deserves it. she was snubbed from becoming queen so it was only fair.

[man-i-love-folklore]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by iHeartRadio (@iheartradio)

HE PULLED UP AND HE LOOKS SO FINE OMLLLLLLL

the hair half up half down? are you trying to kill me Andrew?

[ratatatastic]

"Who's idea was it to put the cone on your head for the parade? Was that all you?" "Zach Eisenberg [Director, Executive Operations]—I think is his name—he takes care of us a lot at Amerant Bank Arena. I don't know his exact role with the team but he's just kind-of always around, and helps us out. He's friends with Brooks [Koepka.] I think he helps Brooks when he comes to the games. Anyways he found a pylon or I think I might have told him—I was pretty drunk at the time but I think I told him to go get a py—'if you could find a pylon, find one!' 'Cuz they sprung that speech on me, kind-of, last second, you know, five minutes before I was supposed to go up there. I'm like, 'What the fuck am I gonna say?' So I had him go grab the pylon and I grabbed it on the side of the stage right before I was gonna do my speech. And luckily all the clips are of that, you know, me telling him to go fuck himself... 'cuz the rest of my speech was terrible. There's really nothing to it! And I'm so happy that, you know, all the clips are only of that so!" "Yeah, we didn't know you said anything else! I thought that was the entire speech!" "That's all that matters!" "Exactly, exactly! I got away with it there!"

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)

i love finding out they basically told ekky he was gonna have to do a whole speech 5 minutes before he was up while hes been drenched from rainwater and alcohol for like the past 6 hours absolutely pissed out of his mind like yeah no wonder his speech basically culminated to THANK YOU SOUTH FLORIDA AND ALSO GIVE IT UP FOR MY D PARTNER WOOOOO yeah that tracks

"But what golf tournament* were you at shortly after that? Somebody was dressed like a cone? Was that Lomberg who was dressed in like a costume? A cone costume?" "He came—Brooks came up to you—" "No, that was his buddy, that was his buddy. He was actually a Sunrise police officer. I actually saw him last night at the Zach Bryan concert! But yeah, no, that's one of his buddies. No, he was completely put to bed the day after. Right? Like he texted me—I personally didn't care, like, how many people at a hockey game are calling me a cone and telling Barkov he's got no hands like it's—you know, that's hockey. That's sports, right? So I didn't give a shit but—yeah, no, it was all in good fun. And then I got a way to get him back! It's perfect!" "But when you did see the first video of him in the box—and I remember watching that, I'm like, 'this motherfucker is rolling esctasy!' His eyes were fuckin' gigantic, he's like, 'Aaargghh.' Like, 'I can't take him, he's calling me a cone! I can't—' But that is kind-of odd that a professional athlete is gonna call you a cone and he's like a fan of yours...it's just—it was really bizarre!" "Goofy!" "Yeah..." "And his eyes were black which, you know..." "What does that mean?" "I just know what that means... and he was fucked up, you know..." "Yeah, yeah! He was definitely fucked up and he agreed that he was fucked up. And he apologised so I didn't care, obviously. And then when I was at that golf event I should've thrown a beer at his backswing or something—at the LIV event when he was actually competing? I should've fucked with him but I couldn't do it... I couldn't—I couldn't find the courage to throw something at him..." "So did he reach out to you like that night? And say, 'Hey, dude... I was just joking, you know...'" "'I took some pills and...'"

*2023 LIV Golf Team Championship (Miami) held from Oct. 20-22 in Doral

[and i suppose more context here lombo and koepka are friends and he even showed up to his cupday when he went golfing in parkland and not to mention that lombo facilitated koepka apologising to ekky so its why the whole cone costume came to be really]

theres a lot more context about this incident and the ensuing storm after it so for archival sakes here are articles about it (x)(x)(x)(x)(x) because its quite a saga but its water under the bridge and there's only so much tabloid-esque coverage thats been reignited after the ekky speech i can take about an athlete who's dumb enough to insult another guy while hes drunk off as his ass in a fucking public setting

but anyways i think its really funny that i said to myself wow thats an oddly petty thing to admit to you know the whole wanting to throw a beer at his backswing ekky... for such a good vibes sweet man who like the only thing youve particularly said about the cone novella is "we'll never be buddies" to which you quickly retracted and then went "holding ill will against somebody and pulling negativity in your body is never a good thing"

and then i remembered who he attended the liv event with and it all made sense

behind every aqua whos being a little mean there is a much worse much more evil looming presence who is encouraging them down this dark path (a gem but especially a june gem)

truly a tale as old as time

[fuckmeyer]

hot tip: EXCLUSIVE behind-the-scenes content available to those who livechat my fic to me

[boxwinebaddie]

everytime i rem(ember) that at the end of rm jersey has short hair something inside me screams and dies

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent game related things .. hrmm...

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

“By night all cloaks are black, Your Grace.”

- Bran III, ASOS

The Night’s Watch is probably the most underrated institution in the fandom, which is quite interesting considering the fact that an ice apocalypse is about to befall Westeros and the NW is the one thing standing between the Others and the rest of the realm. Sometimes, we tend to look at the coming Long Night as the North’s fight or even just the NW’s fight when really it’s humanity’s fight. It’s a fight everyone will have to mount against winter - and death itself. That’s why I like the quote linked above. Because at the end of the day, when night falls and winter comes, all cloaks will have to turn black. Everyone will have to become part of the night’s watch whether they like it or not. So the Night’s Watch evolves from being a ragtag group of a few hundred to a group that encompasses tens of thousands. It probably why the vows say “I am the watcher on the walls”. Not the Wall (singular) but walls (plural). But doubly important is the post of the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, whose job is to lead and command the entire Watch through this winter. He has to keep morale high, has to provide food and resources and training, has to come up with battle strategy, has to ensure that the NW remains true to its purpose, has to make and keep peace between all the different factions and prepare them for the coming winter, and so on. He has to deal with hundreds of lords and kings and dozens of armies. He becomes the most important lord in all of Westeros when you think about it. So it looks like our current Lord Commander, Jon Snow, has a lot of work cut out for him. But thankfully, GRRM spent an entire book preparing him for the task.

[eebie]

so davespri5te bird dave is a goner huh 

[obliviousriki]

Night on the Bionis’ Shoulder.

[millipedish]

Oh Lore?

Just read all the descriptions of the minion cards in Wishing Night, and it really does recontextualize the whole story. I'm still trying to make it all slot it in my brain. Spoilers abound ahead.

The most shocking revelation is that the Queen's husband is Midas. I somehow like...that never seemed like a possibility. I thought that Midas was some immortal being all sad and alone, rotting in his castle as the magic twisted him. But it turns out he was just, a guy, who's been a donkey all these years. Even after he left the count's castle where he was banished to.

For a world that's so fearful of anything magical, I do wonder how they accepted their donkey headed king to come back. It seems like Midas never really did become a less scary king. He went around sucking people's souls out for food. Maybe there was some other threat that they needed his protection from, or maybe he'd become so powerful that they couldn't say no to him.

Curious that the Queen went into exile with Midas. Or did he and the Queen meet when Midas was still a donkey? That's kind of cute, it's like a twisted Beauty and the Beast. This is a rather pleasant image of that time, though I do think that the Butler is romanticizing here. I do wonder if the Queen knew that Black Swan was kidnapped. Then again, her memory was wiped from her time in the mirror, so not even she knew she was kidnapped.

In the ranger, warrior, alchemist and witch universes, Black Swan kills Midas before can leave his banishment. Does she kill the Queen too, or does she leave to swear her revenge? This is unknown, because the sequel takes place in the Mechanic universe, where Red and Jerry never came to jog Black Swan's memory. Or had Midas now met the Queen by the time Red and Jerry rolled in? This would conveniently explain why you can’t encounter the Queen in Diaries mode, and I’m sure it’s not just because the devs hadn’t conceived of the Queen back then. 

Or the divergence point could be Midas. The Flag Bearer’s description seems to describe the beginning of the curse, started by…something? That Midas shot? Whatever he did, he had an immediate effect on the whole place. He was also transformed into a donkey right away, as opposed to other timelines where it’s described that his metamorphosis was slow, starting with his ears that he was able to hide under his hair. But then again the barber is still here, so I don’t know?

So the question is, what happened to Black Swan in the Mechanic universe? She is oddly absent in the present. 

We also know that, in the Mechanic universe, the couple adopts another child, specifically because the Queen is unable to bear children. Maybe this is a side effect of really being a bird. I feel that he was adopted after Black Swan left, when they were feeling lonely and they missed having children around. I wonder if this kid was kidnapped, too? Seems like Midas wouldn't have to go through the trouble- this universe is chock full of orphans.

Oh yeah, the Scripture Priest's description totally supports my theory that the queen used her first wish to become human. I think the most interesting thing regarding the king is that he turned human and his sickness both started when the Forest Spirit disappeared. It seems somehow both his curse and his mortality are tied to the curse on the forest. I do like this, story wise. This idea that magic is an ecosystem in itself and when you suddenly remove one part, other organisms are going to react in unexpected ways.

Kind of like how the death of the Forest Spirit didn’t fix everything, also. I mean for one Jerry is dead. But the people who have been monsters are distrusted by the townsfolk and some never even turned back. The Priest is dead but the church is still up to its bullshit. It paints a more crapsack world than I was seeing before, where people in charge constantly twist the truth to hurt people. 

When it came to Little Red Riding Hood’s minions, I was lowkey disappointed. It turns out she didn’t make a majority of these robots and they actually, I guess, fell from a floating country? And I find myself really not caring about King Jack or whatever, though there is one curious thing. And old wizard is the son of a survivor of the Kingdom of the Sky, but also it says that the enemy the Sky Ranger came directly from there. So then did this country fall recently, or generations ago?

Then again, Sky Ranger is very clearly modeled after Peter Pan, so maybe he’s unaging as well.

The Witch’s minions paint much of the same picture of a world where people are ostracized for having anything to do with or being suspected of magic, but with this added portrait of a found family of various creatures within the Witch’s cottage. 

The Witch feels like the most queer coded character, what with her being tossed out by her father and taking in all these magical runaways. Sadly she is quite afraid of Little Red Riding Hood so it’s unlikely the two of them would be friends. 

There is one other bit of exposition to be found in one of the Witch’s minion cards which kind of slots a lot of things into place as far as how magic works in this world.

So there is no such thing as white and black magic, magic just exists. I’m into that. But the second statement is especially interesting to me. The Witch longs to make friends with other humans, and is willing to go as far as to force magic on them to make them like her. I think she’s trying to create another witch. When the Pig Widow approached the witch looking for her husband, she said, “I have a better idea.” How ironic if the witch meant to give her magic powers so she could find her husband, but ended up transforming her instead. 

This could also apply to Midas. It could be he was one of those humans whose body wasn’t able to handle magic, and when he tried to force it, his body’s only recourse was to turn into a donkey.

[lord-shitbox]

win for the gozu and mezu fandom. ill have time to clean up+post this within a month

[musical-chick-13]

“Ugh, but opera’s so bORiNg, it’s not about anything”

I am, at this point, BEGGING you. To watch/listen to a modern opera. Something made this century, or the end of the last one. It is no longer a request, it is a demand.

[realasslesbian]

But in conclusion to my last post, I might have to get a retail job again, or at least some type of job where I gotta work with people face-to-face (that cost of living y’all) and I just, after nearly three years of not daily being treated like trash and having a pay-check held over my head so that I’d just quietly accept being abused everyday and after not living like that and consequently being able to grow into a happy self-confident human being, like it’s gonna be my first day at this useless job, some lil bitch corner store manager is gonna call me an idiot, all his lil simp employees are gonna be giggling in the corner, and I’m going to straight-up punch him in the face, and tell him I still expect him to pay my cheque for all the rest of the shifts I got lined up this week, unless he wants me to drag his ass through a courtroom with my entire law degree. Because literally, I would rather hunt, fish and forage for my food (which I know how tf to do btw) than have to put up with any stank retail hoes who gotta inflict their misery at their five kids and a mortgage bear trap of a life on me.

[kbwrites]

“Who did this to you?” A deep voice echoes, vibrating around the walls of the throne room. On the opulent throne sits the owner of the baritone voice — Ryomen Sukuna. The king of curses, resting his head on his arm as he looks down at you, too scared to look up from your feet.

“I don’t like repeating myself.” He warns, your body hasn’t ceased shaking. Your uniform is tattered, the rips in the fabric revealing deep purple bruises. Uraume was the one that found you, unconscious in the butlers pantry. After waking you up they brought you to the throne room. So there you were, kneeling at the feet of your king.

You arrived to the estate a year ago, your life as a servant was agreeable. Lord Sukuna treated all his servants well. You were loyal, efficient and pleasant to look at, it was only a matter of time before he started to notice you.

At first he requested you be the one to serve him breakfast. Then it became lunch, and suddenly you tended to all his meals. He demanded you for everything, his bathing, dressing. He could do all of these things himself of course, but he prefered your gentle hands. His personal attendant, not even Uraume, had seen the king of curses at his most vulnerable... but you had bared witness to all of him.

“Fine, if you won’t tell me who. Then why?” Ryomen slowly rises from his throne, his looming figure towering over your kneeling body. He lowers himself to your level, one hand reaches down to lift your chin. Firm yet gentle he forces you to look up at him, your eyes meeting his red ones. Your once flawless skin is covered in bruises. His eyes darken.

“They t-think you favor me.” Is all you can manage to get out.

Word spreads around the estate of course. And plus Sukuna didn’t exactly hide his preference for you. You didn’t sleep with the rest of the help, you were given a room connected to his. ‘In case he requested your presence in the night’ but the reality was he slept better knowing you were near. You didn’t eat the servant food, you dined in the great hall. At a separate table he had made for you. All of these things on full display for the others to see, it wasn’t long before the insults started. At first it was the odd ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ being mumbled in passing. Then an accidental shove into the wall, always followed by a curt “sorry”.

But today? It was your birthday. You had only mentioned it to Ryomen in passing one day at breakfast. He never understood the need for such a useless celebration. You went about your duties for the day, when Uraume found you and handed you a small box. And there on display for everyone to see, a beautiful beaded bracelet made from polished cherry wood. A token of appreciation ‘for your hard work’.

A gift from the king of curses.

“What’s so great about you anyway?”

“Lord Sukuna’s bed-warmer gets everything she wants!”

They punched and kicked, throwing you into the pantry. The group of servants you once thought of as your family. Clouded by jealousy, hatred towards you — the lord’s favorite.

Ryomen Sukuna, the epitome of ruthlessness and malevolence, softens his gaze. He looks upon your trembling form with… pity? His moment of weakness is replaced by an unreadable expression.

“You have been relieved of your servant duties. You will stay here in my quarters from here on out.” It’s a demand, leaving no room for objection. Your eyes well up with tears looking up at your king, his other hand wipes them away. He rises, walking towards the door, his back facing you.

“Get up. Uraume will tend to your injuries. Once you are well, we will visit the servant’s quarters. You will point out those who laid their filthy hands on you, and I will kill them.”

part 2 out now!!