#he really says ''this story has angst and an unhappy ending so if ur basic and only like happy stories then GET DA FUK OUTTA HERE''

[elvisqueso]

finally reading a basic translation of gottfried's Tristan and i'm obsessed with how he's essentially starting with a "don't like, don't read :p" disclaimer

[ohdizzy]

SO I JUST READ (PAST FORM OMG) BLOW ME LIKE YOU FRENCH HORN AND HOLY SHIT I JUST READ IT WHILE I WAS SUPPOSED TO MY MATHS HOMEWORK, MIND YOU. IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING I LOVE YOU I LOVE BTS I LOVE THIS WORLD NOW CAN YOU HEAR ME CRYING? I LOVE YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT AWKWARD CUTE POOR JIMIN AND SUGAR FILTHY RICH DADDY JUNGKOOK? DO IT? PLEASE? I LOVE YOU? (That last one wasn't a question, I do LOVE you.)

HELLO CUTIE BUN!!!!! ⁽(◍˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑)⁽

YOU ARE LITERALLY THE CUTEST EVER WHAT EVEN I’M SITTING HERE SWOONING CAN YOU NOT OH MY GOD I CAN’T HANDLE THESE KINDS OF COMPLIMENTS OK I’M SUPER LAME BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH I’M SO FLATTERED I– 

oh mY god you are just aSKING ME TO GET ON MY SOAPBOX bc i have so much to say about filthy rich glucose father!jeon jeongguk and his cutie pie sugar baby park jimin i JUST CANNOT 👏  fUCKING 👏  DEAL👏  

edit: i’ve just gone and realised i’ve written so much i’ve had to put it under the cut i’m so sorry you’re probably like the fuck i didn’t ask for this 

oh my god ok so like jeongguk would be a chaebol whose father owns a really successful chain of luxury hotels, and jimin is just an average college student battling Life and trying his hardest not to headbutt his professor (bc lbr, we’ve all had that feeling before rip) 

and one day jimin lands a job at the hotel jeon’s father owns and is working when jeongguk goes to the hotel and catches sight of jimin and is like DAMN BOOOOYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

and immediately sets his Seduce Resident Cutie Park Jimin 101 into action (it fails, of course). but in the midst of him tryna seduce him they get really close and jimin opens up to jeongguk and basically, turns out that he’s got these financial problems that are getting worse and he’s actually pretty close to dropping out of uni so he can work fulltime to support his family and jeon at first is like (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っOH MY GOD MY CUTIE but soon turns into the thinking emoji like how can i help my future boyf out?? and jeon jeongguk’s nickname wasn’t golden brain back in high school for no reason (yes it was) and he’s like holy fuck yes boy YES JEON JEONGGUK U GODDAMN GENIUS 

and basically goes up to jimin and is like SO. I HAVE A PROPOSITION and jimin’s looking at him all suspiciously like.. what is it… and jeon goes, “IMMA BE UR SUGAR DADDY, BABY” with a huge expectant grin on his face that lasts for two seconds before jimin is like uh first of all no and second of all no

jeon’s sorta like wtf :’( i was so sure this was a good idea but actually turns out that it IS a good idea bc jimin is like a few days later ok…. u know what…. i will say yES BUT ON THESE CONDITIONS: and basically the conditions are that he pays off his family’s debts (done and dusted) YES there can be sex (jeon is whooping inwardly) but they are strictly going to remain platonic (jeon is not whooping anymore) and basically there are all these rules that jimjam wants jeon to follow and who is jjk to say no u know so he agrees and at first 

jimin is like OH YAJ4EMRLFD MY GOD!!!! HAH!!!! WE’RE HAVING SEX!!!!! SO AWKWARD!!!!!!! and jeongguk is like fam… calm thouself…. but of COURSE THINGS GET HEATED AND SEXY TIMES WHERE IT GETS REAL INTENSE HAPPENS AND JIMIN IS CONFLICTED BC THIS IS JEON JEONGGUK INTERNATIONAL PLAYBOY AND ALSO WORLD CLASS IDIOT AND KIND OF DOUCHEBAG

BUT IT’S ALSO JEON JEONGGUK THE BOY WHO FEEDS STRAY KITTENS AND HAS BUNNY TEETH WHEN HE SMILES AND LISTENS TO ALL OF JIMIN’S PROBLEMS AND STORIES AND DOESN’T LAUGH OR MAKE FUN OF HIM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES 

and jimin is like ….. what…. are.. thESE… HONEY…. NUT…. FEELIOS?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?��

and then cue unnecessary angst where jimin can’t feelings and jeongguk can’t feelings either and they’re both being fokING IDIOTS 

but as always LOVE PREVAILS ALL AND THEY END UP TOGETHER… FOR REAL!!!! WITH NO SUGAR DADDYING!!!!!!

and jimin’s family’s debt is paid off and  jimin and jeongguk have crazy sex ALL THE TIME in their penthouse in the hotel and they LOVE AND TREASURE EACH OTHER WITH ALL THEIR FUCKING HEART BECAUSE I’M A GODDAMN SAP THAT CAN’T HANDLE AN UNHAPPY ENDING 

ok now i realise that this has strayed SO FAR FROM WHAT YOU’VE ASKED ME AND I’M SO SORRY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA U ASKED ME ABOUT WHAT U THINK THEY’D BE LIKE AND I’VE GIVEN U A GODDAMN FUCKING PLOT i’m sorry i ramble too much but rwioejfkddijfjdfiejfiemlkf [miley cyrus voice] i can’t be tamed ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

AND ALSO. I LOVE YOU TOO OK AND THAT DEFINITELY ISN’T A QUESTION EITHER I DO LOVE U TOO (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)