#he looks like a middle schooler's oc and i kinda dig it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lilixloveswriting · 3 years ago

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Cat and Mouse

In my docs this is named "Rip Kouki" so yeah i know the title is shit but it's something so

Also this is old, I think it was a whumptober prompt from 2019? But i don't remember which one

edit: I lied, this was from Jan 2020, so a little more recent than I thought but not by much

Summary: Having a regeneration quirk is all fun and games until other people find out about it. In which Kouki fends off his bullies yet again

Word Count: 6k

TW: minor whump (Kouki is a high schooler), swearing, physical violence, character death (kinda), physical injury, noncon touching/restraints, forced stripping (but no nsfw)

BNHA OC Masterlist

|| Before School ||

“Okay, bye! Have a good day! I’ve got to stay later tonight to work on some stuff, so don’t forget Hitoshi is coming to walk with you, okay?” Saisho said, digging into the back seat and passing Kouki his lunch box. “Don’t keep him waiting- Hey!” She bumped his shoulder, tearing his attention away from the window. “Listen!”

“Sorry.” He said, taking the lunch box and shoving it in his bag. “I won’t keep him waiting.”

Saisho tilted her head, furrowing her eyebrows together as she rested her wrist on the steering wheel. “What were you staring at?”

His breath hitched. What to say...what to say? Then he smiled. “The paint color looks different today.�� Kouki pointed out of the window and Saisho squinted. “Doesn’t it look darker to you?”

“No?” She said, then moved in closer as if it would help. “Well, maybe a little…” She shook her head. “Anyway, I have to get going so…” She unlocks the door and shoos Kouki out of his seat. He closes the door behind him, turning back to the open window. “Be good!” She said, and Kouki smiled brightly.

“I should be the one telling you that.” He said and Saisho gave a sarcastic laugh before rolling up the windows and pulling off.

Kouki watched until she was out of sight, then allowed his face to fall. He closed his eyes, took in a shaky breath, and turned on his heel, taking quick steps to the building. He had one objective: get to class.

He passed the lockers; he had switched out his books at home and changed his shoes in the car.

There wasn’t time to do it at school. Get to class.

He passed the water fountain; he brought his own water bottle, and on the days that he forgot, he just didn’t drink anything.

A little dehydration wouldn’t kill him. Get to class.

“Oh, Kirishima-kun!” Someone called out, alerting the entire hallway of his presence. He kept his head down and began to walk faster.

Do not stop. Get. To. Class.

With every step, he got more and more anxious. His hands started to tremble and he balled them up into fists as his breathing grew ragged. He could feel his heart pounding against his rib cage and air whistled past his ears as he broke into a sprint. He just had to get to class.

If he got there in time, he could miss them. They couldn’t touch him if he was in class with other people, with a teacher. He’d be safe in class. He just had to get there.

Kouki screeched to a halt, fingers desperately gripping onto the door handle as he yanked it open, throwing himself inside. He slammed it shut, unaware of how loud and disruptive he may have been, and leaned back against it, shutting his eyes as his lungs desperately worked to catch up with his body. He made it.

Clap, clap, clap. “Bravo.”

Kouki’s eyes shot open, searching wildly for the source of the sound. His heart stopped and he felt his stomach drop when he saw that his seat was occupied. Ichioka Souetsu’s sickening smile gleamed back at him and a sense of dread fell over the room as two other boys stood up from their chairs.

No, no, no. Why were they here? They don’t come to class early, they don’t. Normally they wait by the-

“We waited for you by the stairs all morning yesterday.” The middle one said, uncrossing his legs and bringing them down from where they sat atop the desk. “Where were you? And choose your words carefully.” The other two joined him, inching their way closer and closer to where Kouki stood. “No one likes a liar.”

Kouki’s jaw trembled as he dropped it slightly, struggling to come up with an answer. Shouldn’t that question be rhetorical? They obviously knew where he was, otherwise they wouldn’t be here. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be telling him not to lie. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be closing in on him like a pack of lions ready to rip him to pieces. But the question wasn’t rhetorical, and they were expecting an answer.

“I…” It came out in a shaky breath and the words just wouldn’t come to him. “I-I...I-”

“‘I-I-I-’ God, you’re such a pussy! Look at you trembling!” He said, his voice soft and gentle but his eyes twinkling a sadistic glow. “I mean, what are you so afraid of?” He stopped about a foot away, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning forward, a playful smirk on his lips. “You’ll heal right up anyway, right?”

On cue, the two other boys moved forward, grabbing Kouki by the arms and pulling him away from the door. Ichioka took off Kouki’s tie, despite the boy’s thrashing, and stuffed it in his mouth as a gag. The boys then dragged him out into the hallway, turning the corner and exiting out of the door to the back of the school. He struggled against their grip and screamed, not that it did much good as he still ended up being thrown to the ground, the force of his body conjuring up a cloud of dirt. He scrambled to get to his feet but was kicked over before he could stand from his hands and knees. A second hadn’t even gone by that he’d been on the ground when a crushing weight landed on his chest. He wrapped his hands around Ichioka’s ankle as his shoe pressed into Kouki's sternum, forcing the air out of his lungs.

“Stop. Screaming.” He said, putting on a bit more pressure as he said the second word.

It cut Kouki’s whimper short and tears pricked in his eyes as he let go of Ichioka.

“Are we going to behave?” He asked, and Kouki knew this time it was rhetorical. He nodded weakly, lungs burning for air. “Good.” Ichioka smiled and lifted his foot, and Kouki gasped for air, choking on the fabric of his tie dangling down the back of his throat.

Kouki rolled over, pushing himself up with his hands despite the soreness radiating from his chest.

"What should we do?" One of the boys asked. Kouki came to know him as Taketa Jiro.

"Just rough him up a bit." The other, Yamane Tetsuo, said, swiping his foot underneath Kouki's, who had finally made it to his feet. The motion sent him plummeting back down, slamming his back into the ground and knocking the air out of his lungs.

He clutched his head in pain as it bounced off of the ground. Yup, that was a headache that was going to last all day.

“Hold on, guys,” Ichioka said and the other two backed off momentarily, allowing Kouki the opportunity to sit up and rub his skull. There was no point in trying to stand again. “Nothing too obvious, we still have the whole day to get through.” He walked over to Kouki, placing his hands on his hips. “Stand up.”

He did, slowly but surely, doing his best not to shake too much. He stood silently, avoiding eye contact with all three boys and stared at a random spot on the ground.

“Go over there.” Ichioka nodded his head towards the wall and Kouki hesitated. The boy frowned. “Now.” He sneered, and a small whimper escaped Kouki’s throat as he stumbled back towards the wall. The three boys followed him, encompassing him in a semi-circle of dread. They waited for a minute, if only to make his heart pound in his ears. Then Ichioka spoke again.

“Take off your shirt.”

His body convulsed as he bit back a sob. Go. Do it. Don’t hesitate. Do it. Do it. Why couldn’t he do it?

“Kouki…” Ichioka tsked and sighed, tossing his head to the side. “I thought we were going to behave today. Don’t make me do it myself.”

Kouki pressed his lips together and pulled his arms out of the sleeves of his jacket, allowing the piece of fabric to fall to the ground. Slowly, he inched his fingers up to the hem of his shirt, shaking as he pulled it up over his head, then dropped it on the ground.

A smile pulled at Ichioka’s lips. “Good boy.” He praised him, and Kouki exhaled in shame. Ichioka approached him and bent down, eyes tracing over Kouki’s chest. “Hm. You’re all healed up, huh?”

Kouki swallowed, trying his best to calm his breathing. It had been almost a full 48 hours since they’d last hurt him, so there were no traces of their abuse. He thought Ichioka would be angry about this, but instead, the boy smiled and a chuckle escaped his throat.

“Wonderful.” He held up his thumb, “I love a blank canvas.” He licked his fingerpad, coating it in saliva, then pressed it right beneath Kouki’s rib. It sizzled as it hit his skin and Kouki couldn’t help but struggle.

Taketa moved in and shot a slimy liquid from his hands, coating Kouki’s arms as Yamane placed a hand on his neck, using his quirk to stiffen Kouki’s body. Yamane stayed until the liquid hardened, locking Kouki in a cast like material and sticking him to the wall.

Ichioka finally lifted his thumb and smiled proudly at the mark he left, grazing a finger over it and chuckling with delight when Kouki flinched in pain. He then stepped in even closer so that his face was about two inches from Kouki’s stomach. He hovered for a moment, his light breathing tickling Kouki’s bare skin, whose diaphragm contracted as he couldn’t help but allow the sobs to tumble out of his mouth. Kouki flexed and tightened his abdomen, preparing for what was to come, as if it would somehow ease the pain. It didn’t work, and the shock was the same as before as Ichioka dragged his tongue along Kouki’s stomach, leaving a burning trail of his acidic spit all the way across his chest like a seat belt. Kouki screamed as the scalding pain ripped at his flesh and he pulled against his cement-like restraints, desperate to make it stop.

His prayers were answered as the sound of the school bell rang loudly into the air, replacing Ichioka’s amused face with a look of annoyance. He sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets and rolling his eyes up to the sky.

“So much for making up for lost time…” He mumbled and kicked at the ground, then looked back up at Kouki, who at this point had fat tears rolling down his cheeks. “Hey, meet us after school.” He said, and held his hand in an L-shape, licking both fingers then grabbing hold of Kouki’s chin, who yelped out in pain and squeezed his eyes shut. “And don’t try to run,” Ichioka warned, then turned and pushed open the door to the school. The others followed suit, Taketa throwing Kouki’s shirt at him before they disappeared.

Kouki immediately shook it off of his head, restoring his vision as he worked his tongue to remove his tie. He gagged as he finally got it out, coughing over his tears and breaths of air. Next, he tugged at his restraints, scraping his bare back against the wall in the process. The back of his arms were also exposed, and they received the most amount of damage as he flailed, slowly but surely loosening the cast. The one on his right finally fell, and he let his arm hang for a moment before reaching to pry the left one off. Once he’d freed his wrist, he fell to the ground, resting his fists on his knees and allowing himself to cry.

God, he probably looked so gross. It had only been 15 minutes and he already felt like he needed a shower.

The late bell rang and he let out one final sob, then peeled his eyes open and reached for his shirt. He got dressed again, picked up his things, wiped at his face, and entered the school.

|| After School ||

The final bell rang, and Kouki shrunk down into his seat.

“Meet us after school, and don’t try to run.”

Kouki’s stomach flipped as he thought about what was to come. Ichioka had left him alone at lunch, which usually didn’t happen, and before school, he had mentioned something about “making up for lost time.” His words and his actions completely contradicted each other, and it left Kouki feeling anxious. He zipped up his bag and stood with it, holding it in his hand as his shoulder was still raw from grinding it against the wall. He headed out into the hallway, eyes searching among the swarm of students for Ichioka, Taketa, or Yamane. It was better when he could see them coming; he hated being grabbed from behind.

He entered the flow of traffic, keeping his head down and his feet moving. His height didn’t aid in his attempt to blend in, and he wished he were on the shorter side like his sister, who stood at a solid 5’6”.

He followed the sea of people outside of the school, where the crowd thinned as everyone dispersed and either got in their rides or started on their walks home. Hitoshi was nowhere to be seen among the students so Kouki pulled out his phone, hoping he’d received a text disclosing his cousin’s whereabouts. His heart sank when there were no new notifications. Normally he wouldn’t be so impatient...well, normally he was busy getting his butt kicked and whoever was picking him up that day would be the one waiting. But today, he had managed to avoid getting caught in the hallways and the bathroom, and he hoped that he’d actually be able to leave on time.

“Kirishima-kun!” His voice was like nails on a chalkboard and Kouki nearly dropped his phone in fear. He turned his head to see the three boys approaching him, looking far too excited for his liking.

Everything but them disappeared in that moment and those words echoed in Kouki’s head.

“Don’t try to run.”

Kouki took off, throwing his bag over his shoulder despite the pain that it caused. His feet slammed into the concrete as he flew down the sidewalk, dodging between pedestrians with middling success. The wind blew back his hair and sweat formed on his brow as he pushed on, clenching his jaw and squeezing his eyes shut as panic flooded his mind.

“Why did I do that? Why did I do that? WHY did I do that?!” He asked himself, even though he knew the answer. “They were going to hurt me. I had to. I didn’t have a choice.” Kouki reasoned. “But now...oh god, if they catch me…” He gasped in distress. “They aren’t just going to hurt me. They’re going to kill me.”

The blaring of a horn pulled Kouki out of his thoughts and he spun on his foot, narrowly missing the front bumper of a car. He nearly fell but regained his footing quickly and kept going. The encounter was enough to send him into tears.

No, no, no. God please...he didn’t want to die. Not again. It was painful, and he always felt so tired afterward. It was hard to stand and his hands wouldn’t stop shaking, no matter how much he ate or how much water he drank. Plus, he would disappear for hours on end and he didn’t want Saisho and his dads to worry. They worry too much already, he can’t go and shut down. He would miss one call from them and they’d be ready to send out search parties.

He needed to get away. He needed to lose them. There was a building up ahead. He just needed to get there. There’d be people there. They wouldn’t kill him in front of people, right? Just keep going. Don’t stop, just don’t stop.

Kouki blasted through the double doors, gasping and panting and looking around wildly in his disheveled state. Tables and shelves...shelves...shelves, so many shelves filled with...what, are those books?

“Shh!” Kouki snapped his head to the side to see a woman shushing him angrily behind a counter. He swallowed his gasps, clamping his mouth shut to force all the air to go through his nose.

He stumbled to an empty table, fumbling to pull out a chair before sitting down and slumping over the table. Kouki heaved heavily, blowing the blond locks sticking to his forehead away. His lungs ached and he nursed them with small and steady breaths, allowing the pounding of his head to slow back down. The library was nice, quiet. Maybe he should come here more often.

"KIRISHIMA!" Or maybe not. Kouki sprang back up as Ichioka, Taketa, and Yamane burst through the doors of the library.

The fear was replaced, and Kouki rose from his seat and ducked behind a shelf. The library was nearly silent, their footsteps were the only thing he could hear, growing increasingly louder as they neared his hiding place. He placed a hand over his mouth to muffle his breathing and crouched down low to make himself smaller, wishing that he had brought a change of clothes, or a hoodie, or something that could make him less obvious.

He stood back up and peeked through the books, almost ducking again almost immediately when Taketa turned around. Kouki looked down the aisle, then made a dash over to the next one, leaning back against it as though it would make him blend in. This continued for quite some time; Kouki would peek, duck, and run in the worst game of hide ‘n seek known to man until he reached the depths of the library. It was almost like a maze and Kouki worried that he would get lost in it and find himself cornered at a dead end with no escape. He was keeping track of the signs and the books that he’d passed, but eventually, they all began to look the same, and he didn’t know where he was anymore.

...Wait. If he didn’t know where he was...maybe they didn’t know where he was either. Kouki stopped running and placed a hand on the shelf as he caught his breath, inhaling and exhaling through his nose so that he could hear over his own panting. He looked around.

He couldn’t see them.

He held his breath.

He couldn’t hear them either.

Had he really lost him? Oh my god, he should get out of here. With any hope, they were lost in the bookshelves as well, and Kouki could slip out through the back.

Kouki tightened his grip on his bag and inched his way towards the back door. He did his best to blend in and stuck to the walls so that he couldn't be snuck up on. The door seemed closer than ever, and Kouki let out a small breath of relief.

"Just a few more steps."

And then it happened. It was like a fire alarm going off in that silent library, and Kouki fumbled with his phone, desperately trying to decline the call with his shaky fingers. Kouki broke into a sprint, barreling through the back doors with the other boys hot on his tail.

He pivoted as Taketa's plaster narrowly missed his foot, hardening quickly on the sidewalk as Kouki changed direction. He wasn't sure where he was going, he just knew he had to go somewhere.

How should he run? Sh-should he run in a straight line? Or would a zig-zag pattern be better? Damn it, Kouki! They’re boys, not alligators! This is how you should run: fast.

Kouki yelped as his foot landed down on some strategically shot plaster, sending him plummeting to the ground and tumbling down the slope of dirt. He rolled with the mulch and woodchips until the ground leveled out at the edge of the trees. It took him a bit too long to groan and push himself up, as he wasn’t able to regain his bearings. Before he knew it, there were hands on his ankles and he was being demon dragged into the woods. He screamed and clawed at the ground, despite knowing crying for help was only going to make things worse for him.

His mind knew, but his body disagreed with him. It was all about survival instincts at that point, and that was something his body was particularly good at. The second Taketa let go of his ankles, Kouki was on his feet. They grabbed him by his backpack, which he slipped an arm out of and swung at the boys, ending somewhat successful, sending them stumbling backwards.

He made it about two steps before slipping on Taketa’s plaster again. He face planted, and before he was given a second to get up, his muscles stiffened painfully as Yamane placed a hand on his neck. He grit his teeth as the cramp shot through his body, disabling all movement. Taketa took a fist full of Kouki's hair and yanked his head up as Ichioka moved to stand in front of him.

“I told you not to run.” Was all he said before the sole of his shoe met with Kouki’s face and everything went dark.

***

Kouki’s eyes shot open and he gasped sharply, rolling over onto his back as he felt his heart start to pump again. He couldn’t feel much besides a dull ache radiating off of his entire body, and he reveled in the numbness; it wasn’t going to last long.

He blinked up at the sky as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He couldn’t really tell if it was raining or not. He was cold, really cold, but that was pretty normal. He’d warm up eventually.

There was a tickle in his chest and Kouki pushed himself up as he coughed. His lungs seized as he hacked, a crackling noise emitting with each clearing of his throat. He heaved once more, sighing with relief when the dried blood finally came up on his sleeve. At least he wasn't bleeding any more. That would have posed a problem.

A loud pinging noise rang out, and Kouki stiffly turned his head to the side to see his phone lighting up. He crawled over and slid the answer icon, shakily raising the phone to his ear.

“‘Lo?” He cleared his throat. His voice was dry and ragged, he hoped it wasn’t too obvious.

“Kouki, oh my god!” Kouki winced as the voice pierced his eardrums. Although he couldn’t put a face to it, it brought him a sense of comfort, a sense of safety. “He picked up!” The voice said, more muffled this time and Kouki deciphered that it was probably his family.

“D-Dad?” He tried, his mind clearing a bit as he envisioned the redhead’s face full of worry.

“Jesus Christ! Where are you? Where have you been? Why didn’t you answer your phone? We’ve been worried sick!” His dad rambled and Kouki rubbed his face, regretting it immediately as his finger grazed his still broken cheekbone.

“Sorry.” He apologized, doing his best to hide the pain in his voice. “Uh, I took a trip to the library and my phone died. It didn’t turn on until just now...I borrowed a charger.”

“God, why do we give him a phone if he’s not going to answer it? I told him to keep it charged.” An angry voice came through and Kouki winced at the mental image of his other dad. He could see him stalking around the kitchen, stress strewn all over his face.

“Sorry…” Kouki mumbled.

“It’s okay, hon-”

“No, it’s not! He made us worry for no reason, Dad! Don’t baby him!” He could see Saisho this time, yelling at Eijiro from the other side of the table.

There was more arguing on the other line and Kouki sighed. He always seemed to cause problems and stress for everyone...sometimes he wished he just didn’t come back at all.

“Kouki? Honey, are you there?”

“Yeah, sorry.” He tuned his hearing, doing his best to focus on his dad’s voice rather than the increasing pain in his chest cavity.

“Okay, Dad is coming to get you.”

“What?” Kouki’s eyes widened and he went to shake his head, biting back a whimper from the shooting pain it sent down his neck. “No, no. It’s okay, that’s okay. He’s probably cooking, right? I’ll walk.”

“Absolutely not. It’s late. He’s leaving now, stay where you are. I’m not kidding, Kouki.”

"But-" The light shining from his phone suddenly dimmed and Kouki pulled the phone away from his ear, sighing as the low battery symbol blinked, taunting him before the screen went black entirely. Great. How was he supposed to explain that his phone died again?

He took a deep breath to sigh, but it was cut short by the stabbing pain in his chest. “AGH!” He gasped, a hand flying up to the spot of pain. A shiver coursed through his body and as his nervous system finally started back up, he realized that yes, it was raining. He also realized that he couldn’t breathe without feeling like his ribs were piercing through his lungs. He could barely manage a whimper as his organs screamed in agony, accompanied by an intense ache in his muscles.

All he could do was sit for a while, allowing his tears to silently run down his cheeks. Then he shakily raised a hand and wiped his face dry, despite the pain it caused. Kouki bit down on his lip as he forced himself to stand, whining when he took his first step and the shock waved up through his chest. He stumbled, falling into a tree and squeezing his eyes shut as he waited for it to dull. Kouki grimaced as he opened his eyes and peered through the trees to the building.

Okay, he could do this. It wasn't that far. He just…had to take it slow.

Or should he go fast? Get it over with? Kouki shook his head. No, no, going slowly was definitely the right answer. He didn't want to risk puncturing a lung, assuming that his rib was actually broken. A broken rib would already be hard to hide, but a collapsed lung was pretty dang obvious. He had to be careful so he could heal up as quickly as possible.

Still, each step was torture as the mere impact of his toe to the ground shot ricocheting pain up into Kouki’s chest. It was impossible to breathe through it and all he managed were short inhales and sharp exhales. He tried his best not to stumble as the lack of oxygen caused his vision to blur. If he stumbled, he’d have to catch himself. And if he had to catch himself, he’d have to move quicker, and that was just out of the question.

The solid metal under his hands nearly made Kouki cry in relief, despite the strain it took to actually pull the door open. He did his best to close it back quietly, as to not raise an alarm or suspicion about why he had entered from the back. After a bit of looking around, he spotted the signs to the bathroom and followed their directions accordingly. He found a single one, meant for a family, and locked the door behind him.

God, he looked like shit. Kouki stared into the mirror at his grey complexion, his bruises would be pretty prominent until his blood flow increased. Lucky for him, they were already fading, and hopefully wouldn’t be noticeable in a couple of hours. Still unfortunate, Kouki didn’t have a couple of hours.

He sighed and hitched his breath, mentally cursing himself for the involuntary pain he’d inflicted. With stiff and shaky movements, Kouki gripped the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up, tilting his head and grimacing at the dark splotch covering his ribs. Yeah...that was definitely broken.

Kouki closed his eyes, lowering his shirt and leaning into the sink to support his weight. His head was killing him, and he figured that it was probably a head injury that had killed him. The constant pounding indicated that he had a pretty major concussion and Kouki made a mental note to review the care for those online once he got home, not that the light of the computer would help. He knew he wasn’t supposed to sleep, but he figured if he did fall into some sort of coma, his body would just fix it anyway.

He reached for the taps and turned on the water, washing away the dirt, mud, and blood on his face. He hoped that maybe the warmth of the water would stimulate blood flow, and help him look a little less like he had just crawled out of a grave. Kouki switched the hot tap off, so that only the cold one was running and cupped his hands, bringing the cold water to his lips. It was a little hard not to drown himself considering the tremors in his hands. Hopefully dinner would be done by the time he got home; he needed to raise his blood sugar.

After taking one final glance at the mirror, Kouki pulled on his jacket, buttoned it all the way up to hide the dirt and blood stains, and exited the bathroom. He walked to the front of the library, ignoring all the odd looks from the staff getting ready to close up. He pushed the doors open, making up for his lack of strength by leaning all of his weight onto the handle, then barely caught his balance as he stumbled outside. There was a bench by the door, on which he chose to sit while he waited for his dad. It wasn’t quite shielded by the roof, so the rain was still pouring down on him, but it wouldn’t have mattered as he was already wet anyways.

After some time, Kouki picked his head up at the sound of tires splashing through the street. He quickly collected his things and slid into the passenger seat, placing his bag between his feet.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

Here we go.

“Running off and not telling anybody where you were? The library? Since when do you go to the library? Since when do you read? Hitoshi called you three times. We called you seven. Why didn’t you pick up the phone? You could have at least texted.” His dad lectured as he pulled off and Kouki rested his head on his hand.

“I told you, my phone died.”

“And I’ve told you multiple times to bring a charger with you to school. I didn’t buy a portable charger for you to leave it at home.” Kouki shut his eyes, even the street lights were too bright. “You know, NOW would actually be a good time to apologize-”

“Sorry.” He finally murmured and Katsuki scoffed.

“That’s it?”

“Well, ugh-” Kouki faltered, trying his best to navigate through his frustration and his pain. “I said I was sorry! What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to take your damn charger to school and give somebody some notice next time!”

“Okay! I’m sorry!” His voice broke and he ran a hand through his hair, pulling away as his fingers grazed a sore spot.

There was a silent pause then a soft sigh. "Hey…I didn't mean to raise my voice. You scared us, and no one knew where you were. I'm sorry." Katsuki took on a gentler tone, placing a hand on Kouki's shoulder.

Kouki shut his eyes, holding back a sigh. Great, he probably thought he was crying. "It's fine…I'm sorry. I'll call next time."

“Thank you.”

He began to hum in response, but a crackling in his chest stopped it. A cough rose to his lips and Kouki turned away to hack inconspicuously into his sleeve. Katsuki placed a hand on his back and Kouki flinched, another bruise suddenly becoming apparent.

“Geez, you’re soaked, kiddo. How long were you sitting out in the rain?” Katsuki asked, lifting his hand and placing it back on the steering wheel.

Kouki squeezed his eyes shut as he bit back whimpers, afraid that if he opened his mouth he wouldn't be able to hide the pain that his rib was causing him. He couldn’t slip up; he didn’t have the answers for all the questions right now, but luckily for him, Katsuki didn’t ask any more.

His dad simply turned on his seat warmer and turned up the heat, then spouted some lecture about how Kouki would need a hot shower when he got home so he wouldn’t get sick. Kouki didn’t listen much, but the heat helped the shivers. His brain was still pounding against his skull, and any small noise from his throat sent him into a coughing fit, which then prompted more noises and Kouki had to clench his jaw shut which didn’t help his headache at all.

He managed, though, as he always did. And as they pulled into the driveway, he prepared himself to keep the act up through dinner.

“Kouki!” His dad called his name as he entered through the front door, pulling Kouki into his arms before he could even make it through the threshold.

“Hi.” He strained, his sore body crumbling in the hug. He pulled away first, allowing the pain on his face to show momentarily as Eijiro turned to greet Katsuki. Kouki glanced down the hallway, meeting eyes with his sister who was sitting on the stairs, practically fuming with anger. He winced at her dark gaze and quickly turned his attention back to his fathers.

“Oh, my god! You’re soaking wet!” Eijiro fussed, running a hand through the wet mop on Kouki’s head. “Honey, I’m sorry, I should have told you to take an umbrella-”

“It didn’t start raining until 4:30.” Saisho piped, standing up with the help of the guard rail. “He was supposed to be home by then. He didn’t need an umbrella.” She turned around and walked up the stairs, leaving the atmosphere heavy.

“Hey,” Katsuki said, hanging up his jacket, “Go shower. And hurry up, dinner will be done soon.”

Kouki nodded, tightening his grip on his backpack and trekking up the stairs to his room. He grabbed a clean pair of clothes and took them to the bathroom, shutting the door, turning on the fan, and turning the tap to the bath before collapsing over the side of the tub.

He cried at the sudden impact, but this time it was okay; no one could hear him over the running water. His head felt like it was full of bricks and his arms were as heavy as lead. His fingers shook as he curled them into weak fists, searching for the strength to stand back up. Black spots began to appear as the steam blurred his vision and Kouki whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. This wasn’t good, he was going to pass out, and then he’d run the water bill high. Get up, get up, get up.

He gripped the side of the tub and lifted his upper body, pushing himself to his feet with his other arm. Good, now he was sitting on the tub instead of the ground, which was at least closer to standing.

Kouki worked at the buttons of his jacket, allowing it to fall as it rolled off his shoulder, barely catching it in time before it landed in the bathtub. He stripped off the rest of his clothing, sighing at the dirt and blood stains before dropping them in a pile. It was too bad he couldn’t ask Mitsuko for help laundering them, he’d probably end up having to throw them away.

Now, without his shirt off, he could truly see the extent of the damage. Ichioka’s burns from that morning had nearly disappeared, but there were new ones adorning his chest and arms. Hopefully his bruises would be faded by tomorrow morning, otherwise he’d have to try and steal some of Saisho’s foundation, and pouding bruises with a beauty blender was less than fun.

The lesion from his broken rib had grown to cover his entire left side, and with a bit of feeling around Kouki found that it had been his fourth rib that had cracked. It was a bit too close to his heart than he was comfortable with, and the blood that he had coughed up earlier probably meant that it had pierced his lung. He was worried about internal bleeding, but seeing as though he hadn’t coughed up any more, his body must have fixed it. As long as he didn’t do anything to irritate it, it should be healed up in about two weeks.

As for everything else...nothing was bad enough to scar, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. On one hand, no scars meant that his family wouldn’t find out. On the other hand, no scars meant that his family wouldn’t find out. Kouki wouldn’t tell his family; he wouldn’t tell anyone. Threats were made, ones that wouldn’t just affect him, and Kouki cared too much about his loved ones to take that risk. But that didn’t mean he didn’t want to tell them. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to shout it from the rooftops. That didn’t mean that he didn’t want to break down into tears every time they asked him where he’d been. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to ask for help. He wanted help, he needed help. He couldn’t do this for much longer, not on his own. But he’d have to, to protect the people he loved, he’d half to. So he would.

Showers were nice, because Kouki could cry as hard as he wanted. He could wash off all the dirt, and blood, and spit, and tears, and shame, and when he stepped out, if he was quick enough the steam would fog up the mirror and he wouldn’t have to look at himself. And for just a few minutes, he could pretend everything was normal.

Even if his body ached and his eyes were swollen and his throat was raw from sobbing, he could still pretend life was normal. He had been doing a lot of pretending lately, and it seemed to be all he was good at. It was easier to call it “pretending” than “lying,” to others, to himself. He wasn’t a liar, he was a pretender, and if he pretended for long enough, then maybe someday it’d stop being pretend. Maybe, hopefully, someday, it would be real. But until then, pretending was good.

Tags: @grizzlie70

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krizaland · 5 years ago

Note

You keep referencing your old fear of IZ but will we ever hear the whole story?

Alrighty! In honor of the spooky season, I think it’s time I told you all the full story of how my fear of Invader Zim came to be and how I conquered it!

When Invader Zim first came out I was at the ripe old age of 5 years old. I never saw the first episode but still enjoyed watching cartoons off all kinds. Except Ahh! Real Monsters which I’m still afraid of to this day

My first encounter with Invader Zim was when I was 6 years old. I was watching Tv at my cousin’s house when an episode (I believe it was Door to Door but they memory’s kinda foggy) popped on.

I never knew Zim was an alien but my goodness he was the cutest boy I had ever seen! I didn’t even care that his skin was green I just thought he was cute!

“Wow! I love Zim!” I remember giggling.

“Really? I think Dib’s better” My cousin countered.

Now, she was like a few years older than me so I really looked up to her and wanted to be like her.

So I took back my love for Zim and pretended to like Dib. I never really understood why she preferred Dib as I always thought he was mean.

I did catch a few pieces of episodes here and there on my own and did see Zim’s alien form. However, my child brain was quite stupid so I always thought he was just an oversized bug who liked to talk to his cousins. (Yes. I thought that the Tallest were Zim’s cousins. I was that stupid y’all.) I never once considered that this oversized bug and the cute green skinned boy were the same person.

Now, I should probably note that I had an insanely overreactive imagination growing up. (This is part of what inspires me to write lol)

So Zim sorta became an imaginary friend of sorts. Because I had fallen in love with him, I assumed that meant we had to get married (Curse you Disney for your unrealistic expectations!)

So Zim and I had a cute little imaginary wedding.

Everything seemed fine until the day I found out about the harsh truth.

I remember going upstairs to my room when I heard Tallest Purple’s voice coming from the upstairs TV.

“I thought you were trying to destroy the Earth?”

I gasped! Who was trying to destroy the Earth?!

Sure enough I looked up and saw the oversized bug once more.

“Ah yes! You heard wrong! My original plan was to destroy Mars! Just a little warm up before I destroy the humans! I’m an unstoppable death machine you know! Well, Invader Zim signing off!”

I felt a pang of fear in my gut. Zim?! The cute green skinned boy I called my imaginary husband was really an evil alien out to destroy the Earth?!

I ‘confronted’ him and he owned up to being an alien.

I felt my heart shatter into a thousand bite sized pieces. I never felt so betrayed! So bamboozled! So smeckledwarfed!

I let out a scream and ran into my bedroom. I spent the rest of the day sobbing and cuddling my Scooby Doo plushie.

I remember going to see a ‘friend’ of mine. (She was a pretty shitty friend but I still liked her.)

I brought up Invader Zim and we chatted for a bit. She begun to tell me about a girl in the show.

“Are you talking about Gaz?” I asked as I tilted my head.

“No. No. She was a beautiful girl and she was also an alien.” My friend explained.

I realize now that she was probably referring to Tak.

However, my foolish child brain was convinced that Zim had somehow turned a girl into an Irken!

Needless to say, this did not help my fears.

So after talking to my friend I kept having nightmares about Zim turning me into a half human half Irken hybrid.

I got so scared that I had to sleep in my parent’s room for a week.

After that, I would run screaming at the mere mention of the show.

My brother used to watch Nicktoons a lot and would often torment me by referencing Invader Zim (as well as Ahh! Real Monsters.)

As I got older, a lot of middle schoolers would walk around wearing brightly colored GIR shirts. I would always cringe in fear and avoid them.

I couldn’t even walk past a Hot Topic without my stomach churning.

Eventually, the day came where I could take my fear of Invader Zim no longer!

I was 13 going on 14 and there was an Invader Zim marathon on Nicktoons.

There used to be a large TV right in front of the kitchen table, so my brother decided to watch the marathon there.

Unfortunately, I wanted to eat my snack and my mom refused to let us eat in our bedrooms.

My brother was being nice for once and offered to change the channel.

I was about to say yes but something in me snapped.

I was so sick and tired of hiding in my room whenever the show came on. I was tired of gasping at the sight of GIR shirts.

I was so done with living in fear.

“No. Leave it on. I can handle it.” I said as I sat down with my snack.

“Are you sure? I can always change it.” My brother offered.

“It’s ok. I can handle it.” I insisted as I started to eat.

And with that, I stared straight ahead and decided to give it a watch.

The episode was Hamstergeddon, and the moment Zim started screaming about Pipi, I felt a change in me.

In that moment, Zim no longer seemed so scary. In fact he was funny!

Soon I found myself laughing instead of screaming.

Why was I so scared of this show? It was comedy gold!

When I finished eating, I went to the upstairs and grabbed both my Kirby and Scooby Doo plushies. I sat down in front of the upstairs Tv and turned on Nicktoons.

The opening theme song used to sound like nails on a chalkboard but not anymore.

Now it sounded like music to my ears! Soon, Invader Zim went from one of my greatest fears to one of my most beloved special interests.

And it was just in time for my scene phase!

I rushed to Hot Topic and bought every piece of GIR merch I could get my angsty scene paws on.

When my 14th birthday rolled around I asked for a plushie of Zim off of eBay. The seller was an asshole and he charged us an arm and a leg but it was well worth it.

My Zim plushie went everywhere and I mean everywhere with me. To the park, to my brother’s soccer games! Even to renaissance fairs! Hell there’s said to be an ad for some autism organization that has footage of me holding Zim.

I let myself fall in love with Zim all over again (Only this time I didn’t marry him like an idiot.)

I delved into the Invader Zim fandom and begun to churn out OCs and extremely cringey fanfiction ideas.

When my scene phase wore off, I realized that Zim wasn’t very nice so I kept him away from my other stuffies for a little while.

However, I was no longer afraid of Zim but I still cringed when I looked back on my old ideas.

Fast forward to August of 2019. Rise of the Teeange Mutant Ninja Turtles was on a massive hiatus and I was slowly going insane on the world’s worst cruise.

As I suffered aboard the SS Retirement home, I scrolled through tumblr and noticed that Netflix had just released Enter the Florpus.

Maybe, I had gone completely insane on that boat or maybe I was just excited to see Invader Zim make a comeback.

Either way, I felt my special interest in Invader Zim reawaken

The first thing I did when I got home was dig out my Zim plushie, log into Netflix and turn on Enter the Florpus.

In that moment, I fell in love with Invader Zim all over again.

I soon wrote up my first Reader insert fic and now here we are.

Now, I love Zim free of fear and cringe!

#invader zim #Anonymous

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