#he kept doing the ohhh noooo I'm bombing kind of bit. which is tedious at the best of times but when you're playing to a sold out audience | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thedreadvampy · 3 months ago

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my friend invited me to go with them to a show tonight

and the thing is it was not good. it was a cabaret with some amazing circus acts but each of them got like. 5-10 minute slots. and were interspersed with 20+ minutes EVERY TIME of some of the most tedious standup work I have ever seen from the MC and the same 5 physical comedy bits repeated ad nauseum. this guy literally did a Borat bit. in the year of our lord 2024. he sang 2 entire rounds of the Family Guy theme.

and it just KEPT GOING. it was meant to be a 90 minute show, which imo is already a slog for a show starting at 11:30PM but within the bounds of reasonable. it finished. at fucking 1:50 AM. ALMOST TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF THIS SHIT. and it did not help that the 5 bits were all of the 'OH NO SOMETHING HAS DISRUPTED THE SHOW' variety which is funny for a bit, less funny when you're literally 45 minutes past the end of your scheduled finish and still fucking going.

HOWEVER. what I did not realise was that this was in fact. my friend's favourite comedian. and if I had known this I might not have gathered up my stuff and walked out during the curtain call and probably would not have announced on the way out, 'that was the most tedious fucking thing I have ever endured.' and I almost certainly, when someone overheard me complaining about the length and tedium and said 'yeah it ran a bit long huh,' have replied, at the actual near-shouting top of my voice, "I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF."

I feel. bad for spoiling the show for them.

in my defence I have been very tired this week, I got home at 2:30 AM, and raked seating really hurts my hips so I was in agony by the end of the first hour. but mostly I'm just a bitch who loves to hate tbh.

#red said #it was so fucking MINDNUMBING though.#he kept doing the ohhh noooo I'm bombing kind of bit. which is tedious at the best of times but when you're playing to a sold out audience #of like. 750 people. who are inexplicably loudly delighted by every attempt at a joke. it moves past cringe and into wank #like fuck offfffff #he also kept drawing attention to people leaving and it's like first off if you don't want people to leave tell better jokes but also #MATE. if you were scheduled to finish at 1 and by 1:30 you're only 2/3 of the way through your setlist #you have WAIVED THE RIGHT TO EXPECT PEOPLE TO STAY #we agreed to stay for 90 minutes. not 2 hours.#what sucks is that the acts were REALLY good. mostly.#but even there they kind of fucked up bc their FIRST act whipped a rose out of Neil Patrick Harris' mouth with a bullwhip #ate fire. stripped fully naked. then set his erect cock on fire.#and it was fantastic but even aside from them then stopping the show DEAD for 30 more minutes of crap standup #how the FUCK is that the opening act? because the ONLY reason you should open with that is to set a tone of 'this will be wild'#but although the other acts were GOOD they were all. fully clothed trapeze and burlesque?#don't get me wrong. extremely high quality work. but if your opening act is a naked man setting his cock on fire and jacking off #your closing acts CANNOT be 'a man in a suit being very good at diabolo' and 'someone who has played the trumpet throughout the show #plays a trumpet solo'#like what is the ARC where is the MOMENTUM how is this fair on the other performers?#oh well she's done an amazing arial contortion routine but she DIDN'T. strip fully naked and set her genitals on fire.#PACING #GOD

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