#he just has a freak off putting teenage boy vibe that pisses off girls

[cloverskentwells]

Cato: Clove's mad at me now, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I don’t want to brag, but I have a lot of experience with women being mad at me.

[kittymsmithwritesstuff]

What instruments do you think the legends would play?

Ho boy -

Bloodhound: In line with old Icelandic and Norse instruments, possibly a lyre of some kind. Probably tried out guitar when they started interacting with the modern world more but never really got into it.

Gibraltar: Canonly plays the uke and honestly that’s just his vibe yo. Dude likes to chill. Also probably didn’t wanna bother learning anything more complex. Proooobably slacked off on music lessons in school.

Lifeline: In line with having a higher education, piano and harp. She’s pretty damn good at but prefers the piano; she was in lessons from toddlerhood all the way up until she left home at 19. She avoids both in favor of the drums.

Pathfinder: Tesla coils that he codes to play hot cross buns. Mirage will sometimes mess with his Tesla coils, so they play the Death March from Star Wars.

Wraith: Honestly, don’t think she can play any. Not her priority. Can whistle a fine tune and knows several, though she has no idea when or where she picked this skill up. She likes to imagine she was some kind of whistle aficionado in the 3rd grade. Seems like something a kid would do.

Bangalore: Also piano, her Nana taught her because “Lord forbid a girl don’t know how to play an instrument”. Bangalore never really understood what Nana meant by that, since she said the same thing about all her brothers. Unlike Lifeline, Bangalore actually really enjoys playing when she can and usually subs in when the piano player at her church is out. Also can pluck a guitar a little bit from what Jackson taught her, but after he went missing she couldn’t bring herself to learn any more, or play. He’d be really disappointed, but she tries not to think about it.

Caustic: He’s a clarinet hoe. His mom thought it would help him socialize. All it taught him was that he hated the clarinet. And the guy who played the triangle because he never hit it on time. Fuck, he hated that guy.

Mirage: Literally just Inchworm on the piano. He filled up all his brain space with engineering stuff, cocktail recipes and his own top 10 Apex plays.

Octane: The only thing he had the attention span and want to learn was the jaw harp, ‘cause it was one of the weirdest things he could think of at the time. He was also motivated because it pissed off his dad and wives number 3-5. 6 was actually pretty chill with it. He does technically know how to play the piano and violin through lessons he was forced into, but he’s elected to forget everything. Would probably shred an electric guitar if he got interested enough to learn it because he, as a rule, is actually really good/smart about things he cares about.

Wattson: She’s the one that showed Path you could make music with Tesla coils. She likes to use them to recreate classical pieces. She found if she puts on her suit and stands between two of them, she can make her own music. This freaked Wraith the fuck out the first time she showed her, even though she knew she’d be okay.

Crypto: He can’t play any actual instruments, but he can use one of those music creation programs to make beats or arrange instruments as if he had an orchestra to control. Dude couldn’t have really afforded an instrument or lessons growing up by my guess, but he had some kind of access to a computer, and if anything, he could have pirated the program, so that’s why he probably can’t play anything outside of it. Started playing with classical music more when he and Wattson became friends.

Revenant: As a human? Probably nothing. As a Sim? One time he took two femurs to a guy’s ribcage and managed a decent rendition of hot cross buns.

Loba: Once she got to the point where she blended into high society instead of just trying to hide within it, she got herself piano, flute and violin lessons. Piano is a pretty standard instrument in the homes and event halls of the rich, and she frequently uses it to impress high profile guests. Violin is equally respectable and easily portable. She learned the flute as an extra “in case” instrument, one that is still acceptable, but a little more unexpected and unique for clients that might appreciate that. In short, it’s all about strategy for her.

Rampart: She can play happy birthday with armpit farts. (She has been banned from doing this at parties. Except for Octane’s, he encourages it). She also is like those guys that play things like jingle bells by shooting different metal disks in bumfuck nowhere. I love her.

Mary: Pan flute. She learned it for DND as a young teenager. Has dressed up as a woodland elf for Halloween multiple times. Will play funny tunes at seemingly inappropriate times as a way to cheer people up; it almost always works.

Fuse: We know that dude shreds the electric guitar 100 percent. Plays exclusively old fucker music. A favorite at parties.

Valkyrie: Never bothered to learn, can play literally nothing. She can keep a beat just fine and dance pretty well, but she had other things to dedicate her time to and neither of her parents were musically inclined.

Seer: He’s one of those people that can just pick up an instrument and play it; all the traditional ones, some less mainstream like the oboe or something. Had done jaw harp duets with Octane. A virtuoso. Would probably be able to play even more instruments than he already can if he stopped playing so much pinball in his spare time.

[lestatslestits]

Dear Evan Hansen info dump! Dear Evan Hansen info dump! Pls I saw it in London and fucking despised that show

OKAY sorry this took a while I got tied up at work.

For those unfamiliar, here’s a very basic rundown of the plot as I remember it because I refuse to revisit it.

Content warning for. So many things. Suicide, mental illness, lying, gaslighting, and like. Just a weird song about siblings. I dunno.

So basically there’s this kid named Evan Hansen who has social anxiety and probably depression, and he sees a therapist, who has told him to write letters to himself as an assignment. It’s the first day of school after summer break and his arm is in a cast because he broke it climbing a tree. This is our “hero.”

He’s got a crush on a girl named Zoe (Zoey?), who he desperately wants to notice him but he’s awkward and shy and has a song about it. Zoe’s older brother, Connor, is what happens when 45 year old theatre producers google what a depressed teenager looks like. I think he may actually be described in canon as looking like a school shooter? Even if I’m wrong about that, it’s clearly the intended vibe.

So Evan goes to school with his letter, meets Connor there (who he does not know at all, and that is extremely important), and Connor asks to sign his cast. He does it HUGE letters so it’s impossible to miss, but while this interaction goes down he finds Evan’s letter, which talks about how he has put all of his hope into his relationship with Connor’s sister, Zoe. It’s worded weirdly ambiguously because it’s a surprise tool that will help us later. Anyways, Connor freaks out at the idea of Evan writing about his sister, and he takes the letter.

Later Evan gets called into the office to speak to Connor’s parents, because Connor has committed suicide. And on his person is a letter that begins “Dear Evan Hansen.”

So now everyone is convinced he was Connor’s only friend, and that this was Connor’s suicide note. Connor’s family starts asking Evan questions about Connor and instead of explaining the mixup, Evan just ???? Goes with it???????????? He makes up a WHOLE ASS BACKSTORY about his deep friendship with Connor, writes additional Dear Evan Hansen letters, and develops a relationship with Connor’s grieving family.

A person at school (in the musical the character is a girl but in the movie I think the actor is non-binary and I dunno if the character will be or not) sets up a memorial for Connor and asks Evan to speak. He does, someone posts his speech on youtube, and he goes mega viral for talking about the impact Connor had on him. Suddenly a whole campaign starts, around the phrase “You will be found.”

Evan gets super famous, but his mom and his friend uhhh Jared I think is his name have gotten wise and shit is falling apart.

Okay I did have to google a bit for the ending because I blocked it out.

Ultimately Evan confessed what he did to Connor’s family, because the “suicide note” got leaked online and now people blame Connor’s parents. So he comes clean in a way that is like “I’m so sorry, but please consider that I was sad.”

And they’re mad but they don’t pursue it at all or tell anyone about all of his lies because ???? What are consequences???

Evan’s mom finds out that his fall that led to a broken arm was actually a suicide attempt, so she feels guilty and sad for??? Being a single mom and having to work?????

A year later Evan meets up with Zoe who says that actually everything Evan did was okay because it brought her family closer together, and actually thru needed this.

Evan has no consequences, other than feeling kind of guilty, and the show ends with him writing another letter to himself.

So like.

Where do I start? The weird infantilizing bullshit of a sad white boy receiving no consequences for his actions?

The fact that all of the work on “The Connor Project” is done by the show’s one (1) character who is regularly cast as a person of color, who receives no appreciation?

The fact that, oh yeah, it turns out that Connor was emotionally abusing his sister for years, to the point where she has a whole song about how she doesn’t know how to mourn for someone who has caused her so much pain. Evan, aware of this, uses his own ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR ZOE to come up with a lot of stuff to “prove” that Connor actually cared about her, making her believe that her dead brother who tormented her actually gave a shit, because it helped Evan get a girlfriend. This plot point literally FLABBERGASTS me because I never see anyone talk about it. Also I’m pretty sure the tie-in book tried to retcon this and make it an unreliable narrator thing and in general to make Connor more sympathetic by making him queer???, but it’s never addressed in the musical, so it’s not really possible to consider that canon.

Also Evan sings a song, allegedly from Connor’s perspective, about all the things he (a character who is romantically interested in her) thinks about her....using her dead brother as a mouthpiece???

The fact that Broadway started a whole #youwillbefound movement. That’s right. They started a suicide awareness campaign based off of a COMPLETELY CANONICALLY FAKE CAMPAIGN and people took it seriously, like people who sing The Last Five Years at their weddingsxhhkkgukj

Uhh the fact that the fandom woobifies both Evan and Connor and SHIPS THEM together even though they do not know each other, which is literally the point of the story 🤪🤪🤪

I could go on but damn I’m pissing myself off.

WAIT I forgot to add that @wolfsbaneblooming said she thought the movie trailer was an SNL sketch and she’s RIGHT

Uhh tagging @theclichefortunecookie because I promised an infodump

[ranma-rewatch]

Episode 1-The Strange Stranger from China/Enter Ranma

Alright, time to really start this thing off with the first episode, “The Strange Stranger from China”. I...don’t remember that being the name of the episode, but it has been about a decade since I last saw the series.

I feel like I remember what happens in this episode pretty well, it should just be an introduction to (some) of the main cast and kick of the dynamic between the two leads, but I could be wrong. Let’s see after the break, once I have rewatched the episode!

Okay first things first, the Opening. Musically, this song has always sat in a weird spot for me. It’s really freaking catchy and memorable, but it’s also kind of annoying? Like, there is a fine line between a great ear worm and a song you actually want out of your head, and “Don’t Make Me Wild Like You” by Etsuki Nishio is like right on that line. There are parts of it I think are adorably entertaining, like the whistle, and other parts where I kind of cringe. It’s not my favorite opening song of the series, but it’s not bad either.

Visually, it is Okay with a capital O. There is a reason Mother’s Basement has never done a feature on it. It is mostly just the cast running in place over pastel backgrounds, and some of them have the coloring that’s very different from what would end up being used later on once they appeared. That said, I have to give infinite props to Akane’s little snapping dance, because it is freaking adorable and I love ever frame of it.

Also, the title. What I said it was earlier, “The Strange Stranger from China”, was what Hulu has it listed as, and from what I can tell that was what it was listed as on DVD. From what I can tell from my expert translator, Mr. Google Translate, it’s kind of similar to the Japanese title, which says it is “He's from China!! A little weird!!”. But in the episode, the dub says the episode is “Here’s Ranma” which is what I remember it being. So...yeah. Apparently at some point they wanted to retcon the english title of the episode, but never changed the dub track to match.

So, what’s the episode about? Hell, what is this show even about? Well, the episode starts with a feminine person with red hair fighting a panda in the street, arguing about being betrothed to someone against their will, while onlookers watch in confusion. Then the panda knocks them out, and carries them away. Cut to the Tendo family estate, where Soun Tendo has received news that Ranma Saotome and his father Genma will soon be coming, and gathers his three daughters to explain the situation.

You see, in addition to being fairly well off in general, Soun is the owner of a dojo for the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, and his best friend and fellow practitioner of the same art, Genma, made an agreement years ago to bind their families in marriage. Thus, Ranma will marry one of Soun’s three daughters. From oldest to youngest, they’re Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane, who is the only one of the three to practice martial arts herself. When Soun reveals he has never met Ranma and has no idea what he’s like, his daughters are kind of pissed that their dad promised one of them would have to marry him, which is pretty fair.

Instead of the middle-aged man and teenage boy they expected, the red-head from before is dragged in by the panda, and they explain they are Ranma Saotome, to everyone’s confusion. Based on their body, everyone assumes Ranma is a girl, and Ranma and Akane actually become fast friends, sparring in the dojo. But after Akane has a surprise bathroom encounter with a very masculine Ranma that involves him seeing her naked, and vice versa, they learn the truth.

See, Ranma and his dad were in China training when they visited Jusenkyo, a seeming hot spring tourist trap, only to each fall in a different spring while practicing fighting there. Turns out all the water there is cursed because things kept drowning in the springs a long time ago. Now they’re both cursed. They each transform when cold water is poured on their heads, into a feminine body for Ranma and a panda’s body for Genma, and turned back with hot water.

Once that’s all out in the open, everyone except Ranma and Akane thinks that, since Akane doesn’t like guys, she would be the perfect fiance for Ranma since he is ‘half girl’. Akane is still upset with Ranma, both because she has a lot of issues with men and feels betrayed that Ranma never said he was really a guy, and also because he saw her naked. Ranma claims it isn’t a problem because he can look at himself anytime and he’s more stacked, and the dynamic of Akane hitting Ranma for the asshole-ish things he says is born.

So, lots of stuff to talk about for an analysis. I think I’ll go with a compliment sandwich, bundling up what was rough for me around what I liked or thought was particularly interesting. To start with, aside from a few places where there was clear corner-cutting of reusing animation and kind of needless flashbacks, I liked the animation. The original mangka, Rumiko Takahashi, has really great character designs, and I love seeing her personal art style brought to life by the animation of Studio DEEN, a group I am not super used to complimenting.

In terms of plot, I think it’s a pretty strong opener. It introduces a lot of the main cast, even if some of them are depicted fairly broadly and not shown as the characters they’d one day become. This might sound odd, but I also really appreciate how female nudity is handled. Maybe it’s just because, if anything, the way most anime handle ‘fanservice’ has just gotten more and more over-the-top as the years go by, but the way Ranma 1/2 handled it feels like a breath of breath air.

See, in most modern anime, full blown nudity of either sex is never shown. Instead, feminine characters’ bodies are incredibly sexualized, with lots of emphasis put on the breasts and other body parts, without ever giving the full game away. By contrast, this episode contained several example of the feminine form shown completely nude, but it wasn’t treated like some mind-blowingly sexy thing, it was just kinda shown without much fanfare. I’ve currently watching the original Mobile Suit Gundam, which came out around the same time, and it actually does the same thing a few times. It feels more similar to how nudity is treated in, say, paintings or sculpture, more tasteful, and I just kind of think it’s neat.

What is definitely less neat...is the music. If I had to throw out right away my biggest gripe with the show, it is the OST. Not all of it, there are a few bits near the end of the episode that are actually really good, they’re the kind of music I remember being in the show. But the more silly, goofy tracks more common in the first half of the episode really don’t work for me. They remind me of the generic ‘Silly Person’ theme songs from the Ace Attorney games, and maybe it’s just me, but those kind of background music always take me out of the experience and grate on my nerves. That’s actually my only big issue so far, but it did make both times watching this episode genuinely hard to get through at points, it annoys me that much.

Now, I will say right now that I will be referring to Ranma using male pronouns regardless of whether he’s in his cursed form or not, and I won’t call him a ‘girl’ or a ‘woman’. If you didn’t know, sex and gender are not actually the same thing, so even if his physical sex is changed to fit someone who would be Assigned Female at Birth, his internal gender doesn’t change. No matter how Ranma looks, he thinks of himself as a man.

Corollary to that, it was this time going through this episode that I realized something that I’d never thought of before: Ranma’s experience in this episode, and in some ways throughout the series, is actually a lot like that of a transgender man’s. Ranma shows up at the Tendo’s estate and they all see him as a girl because of how he looks, only for him to reveal his actual gender. When he’s hanging out with Akane, and she thinks he is actually a girl, and they’re getting along, there’s a part where she tells Ranma that she’s so happy he turned out not to be a boy, and you can see Ranma’s facial expression, he doesn’t want to hear that. Clearly, yes, you can read that as Ranma wincing at the fact that she’s in for a rude awakening later on, but it also gives off the same kind of vibes closeted trans people experience when they’re misgendered by people they know.

In fact, when you think about how his curse really affects Ranma, when he’s in his cursed form, he effectively is a trans man. He still identifies as a guy, but his body has been changed so that it no longer represents who he sees himself as inside. It just felt like an interesting real life parallel in this episode, and I’m interested to see if I feel it shows up more later on. But for now, let’s move on to character spotlight.

For the first spotlight, I thought I should center on the titular Ranma Saotome. Obviously this won’t be the only time I focus on him, he’ll get more spotlight pieces as the series develops, so right now I’ll try to focus on the Ranma we see in just this one episode.

To start with, who plays him? Well, that’s a funny story, actually. Not only does Ranma, due to his curse, have different voice actors in each language for his cursed and non-cursed forms, but in the English Dub they recast his masculine body’s voice actor after three seasons. I’ll talk about that voice actor, Richard Ian Cox, once we get to when he actually becomes Ranma’s voice actor, so let’s start with the masculine form’s VA’s.

Now, the Ranma I first met when I was a teenager was Sarah Strange, a Canadian Voice Actress who is not known for much else. Her Ranma has mostly been the one I think of in my head when I think of the character. A little nasaly, her take on the character is very average joe, very ordinary high schooler. There’s some brashness to it, sure, but it’s actually kind of a subdued version of Ranma. Looking at it now, I actually feel like both of Ranma’s masculine form’s voice actors don’t quite fit the character, but for opposite reasons. Sarah Strange’s voice is so normal sounding that it dampens the more extreme parts of his character, Ranma at his most arrogant and egotistical. Like I said, I’ll cover Richard Ian Cox when he takes over the role, but I’ll say in brief here that his version of Ranma is the polar opposite, too over-the-top and aggressive.

In contrast, his original Japanese voice actor, Kappei Yamaguchi, feels a lot better to me, at least so far. Again, this is basically my first time seeing the series subbed, so I’ve only heard him for one episode as opposed to the 3 seasons I had with Sarah Strange. Still, Kappei’s take on Ranma is just as normal sounding as Sarah’s, but I felt like I could already hear a little more of the more emotional side of the character I felt Sarah never quite managed to capture properly.

As for Ranma’s cursed form, I was kind of confused, because the voice I was hearing in the episode wasn’t the one I remembered. For a while, I thought she must have just grown into the role over time, but it turns out that is not the case. For the first six episodes of the show, he was played by Brigitta Dau, who was then replaced with Venus Terzo. Now, I did not know this until literally right now, as I am typing this, so I feel like I don’t actually have much to say about Brigitta. Her performance felt a little off to me, but not bad. Venus, though, really owns the role once she takes over. Her performance as red-headed Ranma has always felt perfect for me, selling the idea that this is a teenage guy in a feminine body, and she’s really good at selling Ranma at his most dickish.

In Japanese, this form of Ranma is played by Megumi Hayashibara. Now, I would never ever say she did a bad job, but from what I saw of her in this episode, I don’t know how much I actually like her as Ranma. Maybe it’s just the pitch of her voice, but she doesn’t sound quite to me like a guy in a feminine body, but just like a very emotional teenage girl. Of course, I do not speak Japanese and it’s a lot harder to really judge acting in a language you don’t understand, so I could be spouting utter nonsense, but that’s my thoughts on her as of this episode.

In terms of Ranma’s character, they don’t really give much away with this first episode. We know he’s a good fighter, has a difficult relationship with his father, doesn’t like his curse and wants to get rid of it, and has enough stubbornness to butt heads with Akane and stand his ground. I also felt like they did a good job telegraphing Ranma’s general fighting style during his sparring match with Akane. He spent the entire time dodging her attacks with incredible ease, which emphasizes his speed. Generally speaking, I’d describe Ranma as a very agile, thinking-on-his feet kind of fighter, but that’s something we’ll see more of in later episodes. I was going to do a big thing about his personality, but I feel like anything more than what I’ve said hasn’t really borne out in what we have, so I’ll wait for another time to do that.

Like I said in my Introduction post, I will be ranking each episode as they appear, and as this is the only one I’ve seen in the rewatch, it is both the best one and the worst one so far. The real question is how it will stand up next time, when I’ll be able to compare it to the second episode, “School is No Place for Horsing Around”. See you then!

[zire-7]

A Totally Biased Review Of Violet

A Totally Biased Review Of Violet

Fourscore and 12 years ago, my entire world changed on the way to school one morning. My sister’s friend lent her his copy of Violet and I, being cognizant of the limited battery life of my CD player, was listening to the song I was currently obsessed with before turning it off to conserve the precious batteries. When I regretfully turned it off, it was my sister’s music I was understandably wary, my eardrums were assaulted with the line “two of them are sisters. I’m a murder tramp, birthday boy” I think I said “I’m gonna bash them, bash them in” I think he said”

The Birthday Massacre has owned my soul ever since that fateful truck ride to school. Now, I will confess to taking a shine to just Happy Birthday. I know, what you’re thinking. WTF?! How could you only like just one song?! To be fair, I was teenager at the time and was still in the ‘liking only one song from an album’ phase and Happy Birthday was a song about murdering a bunch of kids at a birthday party. I envisioned all of the bullies at my previous schools and the ones at school being violently murdered at said birthday party. Don’t judge me, its how I got through most of my days at school. Anyway after school I did try to listen to the rest of Violet, but alas I couldn’t make it passed Horror Show. Though I did like some aspects of Lovers End, I remained completely and utterly in love with, you guessed it, Happy Birthday. A couple months later, I revisited the Violet album and literally thought to myself: “What the fuck, this is fucking awesome. My younger self was stupid.”

Without further ado, the songs…

Prologue; Lovers End

38 seconds of weird mystical-y creature and water through a drain sounds before it bleeds into the mesmerizing synths of Lovers End’s intro. Which is fantastic even with the Violet album being TBM’s second record, the synths are haunting and remind me of a broken music box. Then those drums creeping in… pure magic. Lyrically this song goes back and forth between a lullaby and a hellish nightmare. A lovesick teenager goes out to find their lover but is unaware that they have a psychotic imaginary friend that killed said lover. The chorus hits you like a freight train with the way Chibi delivers it. You can feel the fear and despair shrouded in each line.  

Favorite Lyrics: Calling for the other, searching for her lover, secrets she discovers, drain her face of colour. 1…2…3…4…Underneath cellar floor, 5…6…7…8…Lover will suffocate.

Rating: 20 Violets. The whisper-y tone used for the verses is the heart and soul of the song.

Happy Birthday[Or The Birthday Massacre]

This song was originally titled The Birthday Massacre. For any newer fans that have yet to learn this little tidbit, TBM used to be called Imagica. It came from Clive Barker’s novel Imagjica. Now I know what you’re wondering, why’d they change too The Birthday Massacre. Well, another band was called Imagika with a K and they got all sorts of pissed off about it. So the most awesome and kind hearted people you’ll ever meet, TBM, changed it. But why did they pick 'The Birthday Massacre’? Simple it was their most popular song at the time. However, it was also a better fit according to TBM because its two things that don’t go together. Which is very true of their music; juxtaposition of sweet and sour, life and death, good and evil.

Speaking of juxtaposition, murder and mayhem at a birthday party. Lovers End and Happy Birthday bleed into each other. [This album has a lot of Bleeders, its one of many things that I happen to appreciate about it as a whole.] The instrumental interlude, this band does them a lot and does them well, has a powerful blend of synths, drums, and bass. This one will get your fingers drumming along to the synths, you’ll also want to sing, and dance. The verses are sung in a whisper that caress your ears drawing you further along to the song’s imagery. Chibi’s vocals are strong and powerful, growing more intense with each chorus. This whole song builds on the subtle elements until it bursts into a stunning crescendo at the beginning and the end of it.

Favorite Lyrics:  I think my friend said, “Don’t forget the video.” I think my friend said, “Don’t forget to smile.” “You’re a Murder Tramp, Murder Tramp,” I think he said. “You’re a Murder boy, birthday boy”, I think I said.

Rating: It introduced me to The Birthday Massacre, it is my favorite out of all of them. It gets all the awards. I would happily listen to it until my ears bleed, if I could only have one song on the magical ipod that never dies with indestructible headphones on the deserted island this be that song, and I will never tire of it; repeat for eternity.[It hurts my soul when any of my family members skip it when I don’t have control of my ipod or they ask me to, I’m too nice to say no.] So it can’t be rated, if its already got the highest rating it can get with me.

Horror Show

You will dance, you will sing, and this song will make you its puppet. Chibi’s voice is angelic throughout. [Honestly I was super disappointed in my younger self for not loving this fun energetic anthem.] Did I mention that you will sing? This song is an accurate AF depiction of what happens when a popular kid falls from grace. As well as the losers, and freaks rising above such pettiness and working to include the outcasts; though not really. [Outcasts are former popular assholes at the bottom of the pecking order. They don’t get made fun of because us losers and freaks are better than that.] Or how hard it is to ever forget a bully that tormented you because you confessed to liking them, they then proceeded to make your life a living hell. It backfires and the both of you are tormented now.  The synths are crazy and so on point. The 80s vibes are strong with this one especially that interlude; it reminds me of A Night At the Roxbury.  

Favorite Lyrics: They shut the door. We fell far behind. We try forgiveness, but they cross the line.  And now the moment has passed and we can’t rewind. We are dead long before we run out of time.

Rating: 40 Violets. I’d be surprised if you make it to the instrumental interlude without moving your head to the beat. [You lie!] The interlude will break you.

Violet & Red

An explosion of synths opens Violet before a true blending of instruments and synths ushers us into this violet ballad. For it is a ballad of love gone wrong, of longing, of empty wistfulness for feelings starting to fade. The synths and drums accompanying the melancholy vocals of the chorus is breath taking. You’ll definitely want to sing along to this one as well as dance to the drums and synths. Seriously, you won’t be able to help it, this song will get you to sing and dance to it. [Fight me!]

The synths slowly fade getting softer and softer before bleeding into one of two instrumental tracks. Red is a nice little tune with very pretty synths that are a breath of fresh air from the ups and downs of Violet.

Favorite Lyrics: Past uncertainties combine, bringing tears to sleepless eyes. Memory runs the course of time, blood runs cold beyond the violet prison for violent visions.

Rating: 60 Violets. An emotional roller-coaster ride that brings us down to make us get up and dance to the beat.

Play Dead

Red sweeps us into my second favorite synths on the album and my favorite drums. My second favorite vocals, they just have so much power over me. [It was with this song that I wanted to go back and hit my younger self over the head while saying; listen to the whole album] This song was and still is a fast favorite, I connected with it so much because of the story the lyrics weave. [Its how I often felt after a day of elementary school and middle school. Hell its how I felt about school in general.] A tale of a witch granting a boon to a gender queer personage. The boon is a spell to make everyone play dead, forever. As I said the vocals are amazing, but are epic for the last chorus after the instrumental interlude. You now that moment, where your soul is screaming 'YEAAAAAAAAAS’, and the singer is giving their all; you share a moment together. [This band gives 110% to the power of INFINITY!!!]  

Favorite Lyrics: And boys are so cold, they speak without meaning. The only time they talk is in their sleep. And girls are a bore, their touch without feeling. Their secrets always far to grim to keep. And up until now, you’ve lived in their shadows trying hard to please them. But they’ll never change, as long as their breathing.  I’ll cast you a spell, a magic were everyone plays dead forever.

Rating: 70 Dead Violets. This song will get you to sing along and dance to it. I know, I know, but I only speak the truth.

Blue

Play Dead crashes us into Blue, and my favorite synths on the album. They are epic and magic and misleading in combination with the harsher edge to the opening. All the verses are sung in a sweet airy, like cotton candy, tone that unsurprisingly enhance the song. Than wham into the chorus with growling vocals. [Fun fact, the band referrers to the growling as Chibi’s snake man voice.] Granted the growling is not for everyone but, I love it so. There is not enough of it in my opinion. Throughout these gritty and fairy tail esque refrains the instrumental music reminds me of a twisted music box. The synths on the chorus are twinkle-y bells…

[Wait…peeps, I’ve listened to the Violet album so much, that I memorized the lyrics without ever glancing at the lyric book or looking them up. My sister put the album on our computer and then gave it back to her friend; I didn’t have my own copy for awhile. Any ways, I just realized that the synths on the chorus and in the opening, are a xylophone!!!]

so yeah there’s a xylophone, it rocks. It meshes so well with the music. [I love this even more now.] Those. Instrumental. Interludes. Though…

Demented tea party song or a dark interpretation of Toy Story???

Favorite Lyrics: Black tongues speak faster than the car can crash. You supply the rumors, and I’ll provide the wrath. Romance is breaking every heart in two, casting shadows in the pale shade of blue. Fate changes than the death of light. You supply the envy, and I’ll provide the spite. Reflections cutting every face into two, casting shadows in the pale shade of blue.

Rating: 80 African Blue Lilies. This song will not only get you to sing, you’ll growl along too, even if you can’t growl. You will do so. Tis the heaviest song on the album. [Really wanted to go back in time and smack my younger self for missing out on this amazing song too.]

Video Kid

Like something right out of a Mario World start screen or the sound effects from The Ping Pong Video Game, but softer, these opening and closing synths: NEED TO BE IN BAND HERO 4. [I want to play them on the key board, damn it! All of TBM’s songs need to be in Band Hero 4.] Easily my third favorite synth sounds on the album. Every time I listen to the song, I go back and forth between deciding what I like better, the music or the vocals. True, its all music, but peeps there is a whispered bridge that is magnificent and on point drums, guitar, bass, and synths. I just can’t pick what to fangirl about to get you to listen to it. Just listen to it. Do it.

Favorite Lyrics: Got a voice like something I heard before. The message misleading. We’re lying, we’re cheating. We’re only repeating the motions, preceding.

Rating: 90 Violets. Dance, sing, and do your own version of The Robot; the song commands you.

The Dream & Black

Video Kid doesn’t quite bleed into this song, but it transitions beautifully into some weird synths that I don’t know if I like them or not; even though this record has killed many, many, many, batteries. [Before killing my ipod battery too.] I am permanently on the fence about these synths, I don’t love them, I don’t hate them. Anyways a strong drum presence as well as enjoyable synths. They are softer for the verse getting more intense in the chorus. Them vocals with 'just so’ synths in the background makes my soul very happy. I’m weak for the bridge with Chibi bring down the rafters, there are no singer friendly octaves to be had here. Not that you’ll care when trying to sing it, you’ll sing it anyway.

The music of The Dream pulls back, leaving you in the star filled night sky. Where you drift on soothing waves of synths.

Favorite Lyrics: She flies over clouds in twilight skies, nothing to bind her, no one will find her this high. Far above the rainy weather, all plans have come together, and for the first time she feels just fine.

Rating: 110 Violets. There will be singing, you will sing, and dance or at the least you won’t be able to sit still. This album is catchy AF.

Holiday

Black sets you on the ground as the first rain drops of synths fall. Lighting up the darkened streets before you’re swept along in the lyrical melancholy tide. From the drums to the guitars, the song is a true follow the Will-O-Wisp to another time and place, where its always night time and raining.   With every line sung you are taken further and further away from the chaos around you to a peaceful abode.    

Favorite Lyrics: Deadlight Holiday killing time to make us stay,  hollow as the promises of yesterday. On and on the music plays memories in paraphrase falling past my window like the morning rain.

Rating: 120 Violets. I have to say it, I have to, you will sing, and maybe you’ll dance. But you will sing along.

Nevermind

Holiday fakes you out, all like: “nah, I’m going to get all quiet and totally not going to blend with the start of the next song. “ [Off stage whisper: 'Lies and Deception’!] Don’t be fooled its a bleeder like the last three songs. However, unlike The Dream, Black, and Holiday this song is an abrupt, but not unwelcome, departure from the nice little three song tale you were in. There’s a rich family throwing an X-mas party at their winter villa in the middle of nowhere, where everyone is trying to stab each other in the back. [The Lannisters.]

I love the vocals, they are unapologetic and carve themselves into your ear drums, helped immensely with the beat of those drums. [I couldn’t resist.] By far it contains my third favorite instrumental interlude; Blue’s are second and Happy Birthday’s is first.  

Favorite Lyrics:  Now your conversation’s scholarships and occupations, you look so different than before when…nevermind…anyway this reckless violation, tarnishing my reputation has left me nothing kind to say

Rating: 130 Violets. I officially dubbed this TBM’s Karaoke album. It will make you want to sing every damn song. Every. Single. One.

Score:  

50 Shades of Violets [I had to.]

Ahh…once more we have come to the end of another Biased Review of another TBM album. This time it was more personal for me, as I was introduced to The Birthday Massacre with the Violet album. I will freely admit that my younger self was unbelievably single minded in her focus on just one song. Albeit a life-changing song, but it took a brush with a knife for me to revisit more than that one song on the Violet album. [I did not draw my own blood that day, it was a near thing, and I AM OKAY. AND I HAVE BEEN OKAY FOR A LONG TIME NOW. DON’T WORRY FOR ME.]

Oh boy, guess I have some explaining to do. What I’m about to say is the unvarnished reality of myself, I mean it when I say this; The Birthday Massacre saved my life. You’re rolling your eyes and going: “pfft, yeah you and everyone else in the world.” That’s just it though, you weren’t there in that kitchen, feeling the cold seep into your socks from the linoleum, with a knife held over your arm, waiting for the last note of music from Happy Birthday to end so you could drag the metal clean through the skin with a shaking hand, you didn’t let that interlude speak to you, and you didn’t allow the thoughts to surface.  Thoughts that said, “man, these guys are going to make some fucking awesome music. Its too bad that I won’t be around to hear it.” and “I want to see them play live.”

Those were my thoughts that day. A day I have never forgotten, a day that I gave to another person, I let them in, and they threw it back in my fucking face by bad mouthing The Birthday Massacre.  They also weren’t there when I took my sandwich back to the room I shared with my sister, still feeling like I wanted to use that knife to make me bleed, and the only way I could think of to silence those thoughts; listening to the Violet album from start to finish.

And guess what? I was right, they have made awesome fucking music. Are there songs that I dislike, you bet your ass there are. I dislike, 8, 8 songs out of 119. They are a amazing to see live, I’ve seen them 3 times. I saw them on their Pins & Needles tour [Nov 22, 2010], the tour with Black Veil Brides, I saw them on their Superstition Tour with New Years Day and The Red Paintings [ Dec 09, 2014], and I saw them on their Under Your Spell Tour with Army of the Universe, and Sumo Cyco [May 26, 2017].

They are my favorite band, their music saved my life, and lent me the strength to fight off my demons. Which is why I will always be a fan of The Birthday Massacre.

[bts-love-sweat-tears]

Third Base, Pt. 2

Title: Third Base, Pt 2 (dedicated to @randomlazymusiclover for asking about a follow-up)

Pairing: BTS x Reader

Rating: PG-13?

Warnings: Underage Drinking (be safe, kids), kissing scene (do you need a warning for this? Or should I promote it, ha), general house party shenanigans, don’t date your coaches, everyone. This is shady irl.

Genre: Baseball//fuckboy//Party Fluff, with some flirty insinuations 😏

Word Count: 2,235

Written while listening to: Party Monster and The Hills by The Weeknd (I will always love syncopated bass lines). Inspiring the hazy party vibes of this fic. As always, thanks for the support, and feel free to reach out whenever with questions, comments, feedback or random musings <3

A/N: I had a hard time finishing this up, and keeping it focused. I could see doing a third installment for an away game//trip, but there would have to be interest. Based off of my experiences of 4 years of Midwestern house parties (but the reality had fewer hot guys, lol).

Tell me lies, ooh girl, tell me lies Say you're mine, I'm yours for the night

You shrug and relax your shoulders under the hot steam of your shower. You should probably use cooler water to be easier on your skin, but it feels too good for you to want to change it. It was your second week of practice with your dad and the baseball team, and this week you were the home plate umpire, which meant you were hunched over most of time, watching whether the pitches were balls or strikes, and whether a player was out or got the run in. After last week, you felt like you needed to establish yourself as the assistant coach, so you were extra strict today. Needless to say, none of the guys were particularly endeared with you right now, and you were pretty sure that Jungkook, the pitcher, wanted to curse you out. You watched him chew on the inside of his cheek for a solid nine innings.

After getting out of the shower, you say you had a message from Namjoon, the flirty field-side philosopher from last week. The team was having a party at one of the player’s  houses later that night, and he inviting you along as “team bonding.” You were highly reluctant after the way today, had gone, so you went to your dad, expecting him to immediately restrict you from going. It would be an easy way to let Namjoon down.

To your surprise, your dad was immediately on board with the idea, saying how it would help you understand the boys' personalities better, and thus team dynamics. Trust your dad to be into anything regarding the team, and to make it essentially a scouting trip. As soon as he had made up his mind about it, he was rushing you to get ready. You were just lucky that he wasn’t insisting on coming with you, saying that he had to review strategy tapes.

You weren’t sure what you wanted to wear. You'd been to a few parties with your softball teammates before you quit the team, but you were always with the girls. Would this be a low-key, “bro” hang out or something more? Being indecisive, you tried to toe the line, wearing your black, long-sleeved cold-shoulder dress with your gold glitter Chuck Taylors. At least you'd be able to run away quickly if needed, you laughed to yourself. You let your hair air dry, and braided it back, so that it would settle into loose waves later.

With that, you couldn’t fiddle around much more, and your dad dropped you off, warning you about the dangers of drinking and drugs, and how “athletes need to hold themselves to the highest standards.” You suppressed your urge to ask him What about coaches though? But figured it was better not to sass him about that as he dropped you off outside the party. He drove off, and you hesitated slightly before banging on the door. You could hear music emanating from the house, but when Hoseok opened the door, you could feel it in your chest. He shouted at you to come in, casually slinging his arm over your shoulder, leading you through the crowded rooms. You gestured to your matching gold shoes, though his were more of an Oxford style, and he smiled so brightly in response that your heart did a little stutter-step in your chest. Or maybe it was the bass reverberating.

You looked over to see where the music was coming from, seeing a professional-looking DJ stand, and unsurprisingly, Yoongi manning the booth. He looked up and gave you a brief nod of his head, eyes lingering on Hobi’’s arm still draped around your shoulder. You couldn’t read his face, but recently you and Hobi had been slowly but surely warming up to each other.  Mainly after you complimented his workout playlist at the gym on one of the conditioning days. And it seemed that if Hobi liked you, then Yoongi gave you a pass as well.

Before you and Yoongi could stare at each other across the room for too much longer, Hobi dragged you to the kitchen where he opened the fridge and offered you a still-sealed drink. You cracked it open, and managed to mask your wince at the taste. It wasn’t your first beer, but house party beer was always the cheapest thing available (and logically so, when you’re giving providing it free of charge).

It was too loud for the two of you to have a conversation, but the two of you settled into a corner of the “dance” room, where you could watch the other partygoers. You would need a few more drinks before you were ready to jump into the quite literal fray. There were way more people here than you would have ever expected. You could see how it happened though, If each of the seven players invited their friends, the number of people in the house could easily grow exponentially.

From your vantage point, you could see across the dance floor and into what you presumed was normally the dining room. Jin and Taehyung were playing a rather heated game of beer pong against Namjoon and Jungkook. It had taken you all of two seconds of practice on the first day to figure out that Namjoon was the least coordinated player on the team, and Jungkook the most competitive. Joon more than made up for it with his strategic plays and leadership skills, but it seemed that Joon’s lack of hand-eye coordination transferred to beer pong as well, and Jungkook couldn’t tone down his need to win at everything.  Tae and Jin were laughing hysterically, only firing up Jungkook further. Typical. You wondered if you should go over there, but decided against it. It was probably safer to stay away from Joon’s flailing limbs and Kookie’s teenage rage.

Even though you would have been happy to chill in the corner and people watch, as soon as your drink was finished, Hobi grabbed both of your hands and dragged you into the fray. Normally you would have resisted, but you trusted him. You weren’t sure what to expect, as many of the other pairs were grinding, but you soon realized that Hobi was more interested in “actual” dancing. You couldn't decide if you were pleased or disappointed, but before you could linger on it for too long, a song you both knew came on and you were jumping up and down excitedly. You should have realized from the way he moved at baseball practice, but Hobi was an amazing dancer. You were breathless from dancing with him, and you weren’t completely sure if it was from your own dancing or from watching him. You felt your face flush and gestured that you needed another drink. He nodded and smiled, but kept dancing.

You found Namjoon in the kitchen, and he smiled at you. “Having fun?”

You nodded. “Yes! Thanks for the invite- I had no idea that Hobi was such a good dancer!”

He handed you another beer, and cracked his own. “Yeah, him and Jimin are usually into it. I used to but am banned from the dance floor during parties…they’re worried I’ll scare people away.” You chuckled at that and his face brightened a bit. “Apparently I’m banned from the pong table now too.”

You looked to the now abandoned table. “I’ll play if you want. Full disclosure though, I’m not very good.”

Before you knew it, you and Joon were playing the worst beer pong of your life. You had been honest when you said you weren’t very good, but somehow you were still winning, and by a lot. But the drunker Joon got, the better he was getting. Maybe it was all a ploy for cuteness? Either way, it meant that you were also getting drunker, and your face was now flushed for a different reason.  The game ended and people started drifting back. You saw Kook staring at you from across the room, and decided it was time to go back to dancing. You weren’t ready for a confrontation about today’s practice with him.

But when you managed to push your way back through the throngs to Hobi, he was now dancing with someone else. Before you could feel awkward, you felt a gentle tug on your braid, and turned around to see Jimin. He smiled his cutest smile.

“Want to dance with me? I’m the only one who hasn’t hasn’t had your attention yet tonight,” he winked. He was also the player you were least able to get a read on- he kept switching between seeming like the sweetest person on the face of the earth, or possibly the biggest player. You nodded. What could happen?

If Hobi had been all about actual dancing, Jimin was all about the hip rolls and grinding. He had his hands on your hips, and they kept drifting downward so that you had to put your hands over his to keep them in place. He leaned closer to nuzzle the back of your neck. How much had he had to drink? Before you could even think to ask him to stop, he was roughly pushed back by none other than Jeon Jungkook. Tae, surrounded by a starry cloud of smoke, wrapped his arms around Jimin, holding him up. You thought their bromance was the cutest thing.

Jungkook on the other hand, was pissed. “Jimin, she’s one of our coaches, not to mention the head coach’s daughter. Show some freaking respect.”

Jimin just laughed sardonically and rolled his eyes. “I asked her if she wanted to dance, and she said yes. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Dancing is one thing, but nuzzling her neck?”

“How long were you staring at us?  Are you jealous, Kook?” Jimin scoffed. “At least I’m not too scared to communicate what I want.”

Deciding that you had had enough, you stepped in between them, literally and figuratively.

“Alright, easy. Thanks for the dance, Jimin, and thanks for looking out for me, Kook. It’s nice to know that someone has my back.  For right now, I think we all just need some air.” Why did you have to be the responsible one, even when intoxicated? You rolled your eyes internally. Seeing that Tae had Jimin, you grabbed Jungkook’s hand and dragged him out to the front porch with you. Surprisingly, no one was out in the cool night air, so the two of you sat on the porch swing, looking out at the darkened street. Despite the muffled sound of the music inside, you couldn’t feel calm in the quiet. You kept waiting for Jungkook to call you out for practice today or how you had been dancing with Jimin. Except for the fact that you were supposed to be an authority figure, you didn't care. He was a great dancer, and you had been having fun.

When you couldn’t handle the silence any longer, you turned your face to Kook, only to find him staring right back at you, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Penny for your thoughts?” you joked, trying to ease some of the tension.

In what seemed like slow motion, he leaned in, testing your nerve every step of the way. If you hadn’t had all of those beers with Joon, you probably would have stopped him. But all you could think about right now was that your popular older classmate was leaning in to kiss you. His lips were soft, and even though he was moving slowly, there wasn’t any hesitation.  You were freaking out on the inside. Your friends would never believe you if you told them this was happening. But being his coach, you would have to keep this a secret. At that very moment, Tae came out onto the porch, and you pulled away as if you had been shocked.

Tae smirked. “Am I interrupting something?”

Jungkook was a frozen statue, and even though you were sure your face was even redder than his, you acted calm and nonchalant. “Not at all.”

“Just wanted to make sure that he was okay after that argument back there.” Tae walked over and crouched down to Jungkook’s seated level. "You should go in and apologize to Jimin. He’s not sad about what happened, but rather that you yelled at him.” Jungkook got up reluctantly, eyes never leaving yours until Tae pushed him through the door. With a wink, Tae was gone. How much had he seen?

You had been at the party longer than you expected and now that you were out on the porch alone, it seemed like a natural time to leave. You called an Uber home, and collapsed directly into bed, kicking off your shoes from a lying position. You would have to sort out your feelings of the night another time.

Too soon the next morning you staggered down the stairs for a glass of water, coffee and hopefully some kind of greasy breakfast. Your dad was either not awake or already out on his morning run (more likely). You absentmindedly flipped through the papers on the counter only to see something unexpected. An itinerary for a week-long baseball tournament halfway across the country.

Things were about to get interesting.

[tellerford13]

MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 24

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. We will be posting on our Tumblr where we’ll have fun pictures from time to time as well. http://tellerford13.tumblr.com We’ll also be taking requests for one shots, preferences or imagines for all things Sons at our other Tumblr, so check it out and send your thoughts!http://tellerford13oneshots.tumblr.com/ And just for fun, we’ve decided to start a Pinterest for the story! So if you want a glimpse at our girls and see into our world, check it out! https://www.pinterest.com/tellerford/

                                                        A/N: Are you feeling that stolen hour, cause I know we are. This is a short bit, but there will be more later this week. We wanted to get something out for y’all to read in the meantime.

SIDENOTE: Telford will kill me for this but it’s also her Birthday tomorrow (or today depending where you are) SO send her some love and thanks! (She’s the brain behind the operation I just post!) 

                                         Mo Astor Chapter 24

Journee

It’s odd stepping out into the sunshine and heat. Scotland had an overcast, damp vibe that I enjoyed immensely. It was like a permanent fall. Fall, my favorite, but not an often experienced season. Filip threads his fingers in mine as he leads me toward the baggage claim and I mentally switch modes. It’s Chibs now unless we’re alone or in close company. Things are different here. There’s a lack of freedom that comes with being back home, but this is where our roots are planted. I wouldn’t know what to do with a normal life. My time spent in college showed me that. I couldn’t relate to the average eighteen and nineteen-year-olds, hungry for their first taste of freedom and making shitty decisions. In our life, you’re always older than your years.

You have no choice. You see and hear too much, and safety precautions are a real thing. It changes the way you view life. I wanted to do my time, get a slip of paper and get out. There’s something to be said about having a skill to fall back on, and I like the image it gives me. There’s protection in that. The best thing an Old lady can offer is a good reputation. It keeps them separate from the shadiness the town knows Samcro has going on. It’s a careful balance we keep with Charming. We keep the corporations away who’d end their “Charming” way of life, and they turn a blind eye to the MC. It’s a system that works as long as everyone holds up their end of the bargain.

“Do we know who’s picking us up?” I ask.

“No clue, Love.”

Deep down I want it to be Juice. Two weeks is a long time to go without seeing his face or hearing his voice. I worry about my misguided son. He wasn’t brought up in this life, and his naivety could potentially get him in trouble. I’m working on the areas someone could exploit. I’ve seen what happens to men like him before in our culture. Chibs and I will make damn sure it doesn’t on our watch.

Chibs grabs our bags, and I admire his strength and gentlemanly ways. I’ve been in love with him since I was fifteen, but the reality of being his woman is even better than my teenage dreaming. He returns, and I thank God we opted to mail the other bags home.

“Ready, love?”

“I am.”

We move toward the exit, and I smile as I spot a familiar head of hair.

“Jackie boy,” Chibs yells making me giggle. J gives Chibs a fleeting smile and a manly hug.

“Good to have you back home, brother.”

His eyes are dull, and there’s tension he’s holding. I glance around and frown when I don’t see Lee.

“What happened? Where’s Lee?”

“I needed some one-on-one with my sister,” he says sheepishly.

I sigh. “What did you do?”

“What? Me? Nothing. That’s exactly why I’m trying to talk to you. I need some advice on how to proceed.”

I glance at Chibs. “Do you mind driving , Filip?  This is going to take awhile.”

“Aye, I’ll drive, get our boy fixed up.”

“Start from the beginning,” I say as I walk between the two of them.

“Well, for starters. Wendy went off yesterday .We were there to check up on her, and I flipped out when I found her hanging over the toilet puking her brains.”

“Did she—

“No, but that was my first thought too. She’s just got really bad morning sickness.”

“Stupid bitch,” I mumble.

“Yeah, well she was right. I left, she found out she was pregnant, and I hooked up with Lee and got happy. I haven’t thought about what this would do to her or later, my relationship with my own kid. I mean shit…I’m creating a shit storm for him or her to be born into. What judge in their right mind is going to award full custody to a man with my record or my affiliations?”

“The one we buy,” I say honestly.

He shakes his head. “There’s so much shit going on at once, Journee.”

My full name is a screaming siren. He never does well when forced out of his depth.

“When isn’t it in our lives? It’s just another hurdle to climb. Wendy was already crazy. You add hormones, and a woman scorned vibe to the mix, and you get extra insane. She’ll calm down after it’s all said and done, cause she knows as well as we do, she has no choice. That bitch ain’t got the balls to try to take you to court. She knows who runs this town. You have to deal with her and keep the peace until she pops baby T out.”

“Baby T?”

“Teller, duh.”

He chuckles.

“You make it sounds so easy.”

“Not easy, just necessary. Problem solved. Can I get my Lee time now?”

“About her…”

“Jackson Nathaniel Teller, I’ve been waiting what feels like my entire life for shit to happen between you two. If you ruin this now, I will fucking kill you with my bare hands.”

“Jesus, Baby J.” He looks at Chibs. “You sleep with one eye open brother?”

“I don’t inspire that emotion in her, Jackie boy.” He winks, and I giggle.

Jax shakes his head as we finish our trip through the underground tunnel to the car. He hits the key FOB, unlocks the car and pops the trunk. I can tell there’s more. He’ll spill it once we’re in the backseat alone. I place my hand on Chibs chest and tilt my head up for a kiss. He palms my ass, pulling my body to his and I moan as our tongues tangle. The wedding changed a few things. He never would’ve done this in public before. I like it. We part, and he places his forehead against mine.

“Thank you for understanding.”

“Always, lennan. I know his happiness affects your own.” I place my hand over his heart before I peel my body from his and force myself to join Jax.

“This better be good. I should be sucking face with my old man during this ride.”

“I love her, Journee.”

I laugh. “Is that all? Bro, I could’ve told you that years ago. I tried a dozen times.”

“You don’t understand. This changes everything.”

“This is what it means to really care for someone, Jax. That fear of hurting them or losing them is how you know it’s the real thing. You’re finally ready to put someone ahead of yourself. I’m so glad I’m here to see it. Humility looks good on you.” I muse his hair, and he swats my hand.

“You’re a little shit. You know that?”

“Seriously Jay. You’re freaked out because you finally have something you don’t want to lose. It’s not a bad thing. It’ll keep you from making dumb ass decisions. The real tragedy would be living a life where you never experience that kind of love. We both know you dropping the L word on Lee right now would not be a good thing. You jump in head first. She tests the water repeatedly, waits a little more, and then she dips a toe in. You need to be patient. You want to keep her? Then you need to temper that impulsiveness and wait for the right moment.”

“When will that be?”

“I don’t know, but you will.”

He huffs.

“J, have I ever steered you wrong when it’s this important?”

“No.” he shakes his head.

“And I won’t start now.”

He takes a deep breath and nods. “Alright.”

“You good.”

“As good as I’m going to get.”

I pat his cheek. “Welcome to the land of mortals young blonde god.”

“What?” he wrinkles his nose, and I laugh as we weave through traffic. Someone’s eager to get home. The tone for Simple Man rings out. “Mama told me when I was young...” And I laugh. Of course, she has to call the minute, we land.

He rolls his eyes. “Hey, Ma. Yes, I have them. Because Chibs is driving. Nothing. Can’t a man want to catch up with his sister?” He scowls.” Seriously? They just got back. They probably have jet lag out the ass.” He grimaces. “Yeah, I’ll let them know. No, Lee isn’t pissed at me. Yes, I know. I don’t plan on it.”

It’s always amusing to see Jax read the riot act by his mother. Partially because it means she’s not going in on me. She took the mother role to heart, and never let go. I’ve had my ass chewed out by her more times than I want to remember. “She’s right here.” He thrusts the phone at me, and I know the shoe is now on the other foot.

“Hey, Ma.”

“Hey, baby, good to hear your voice. I worried that he’d chained you to a bed and decided to keep you over there permanently.”

I laugh. “It’s more likely it’d be the other way around.”

She chuckles. “That’s my girl. A woman’s got to know how to control things while letting the man think he’s running the show.”

“You taught me well.”

“That I did. We’re having a family dinner tonight. I expect to see the two of you there.”

I mentally sigh. “Ma, we just touched down.”

“Exactly. So you’ll have enough time to spruce up, bring those vacation photos, and get home.”

I roll my eyes and bang my head against the seat.

Jax chuckles, and I elbow him in the ribs. His laughter becomes a groan, and it’s my turn to smirk.

“Fine, we’ll be there.”

“Good. I can’t wait to have my babies all together again. Especially now that you’re married and soon to be carrying a grandbaby. The first one with a mother I love.” I shake my head. That’s Gemma always light years ahead of everyone else. The ink is barely dry on the marriage license, and she’s talking about kids.

“We just got married.”

“And it’s past time we had some little brown babies running around here.”

I snort. “Only you could get away with saying that.”

“Damn straight. “ I hear her exhale, and I know she’s smoking.

“We’ll be there, but we might be late. I have to hunt up clean clothes.”

“I can’t wait to see you, baby. Love you.”

“Love you too Ma.” I hang up and shake my head.

“You miss Scotland yet?” Jax asks.

I laugh. “Meh, this is home. Besides I’m about to have a niece or nephew, and I wouldn’t miss that for the world.”

“It’s coming up fast.”

“How are you feeling about that?”

“Ready. I had a talk with my dad, and I got my head on straight. I can be a good dad.”

“I know you will be,” I say sincerely. “You got a lot of people who’ll kick your ass if you aren’t.”

He chuckles. “Never one to mince words.”

“I hear it’s a family trait of mine.”

“Yeah. I hear your big brother is pretty cool.” He wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me against him.

“God, you are so conceited.” I roll my eyes and shake my head. “Tell me what else I’ve missed while I’ve been away.”

I lean into his warmth as he tells me in a boyish animated way that fills me with joy. He’s changing in the best possible way.

[darklingichor]

Gilmore Girls Season Two, Episodes 8 & 9

It would be nice to watch one episode of this show where someone I regularly see doesn't set my teeth on edge. I grew up watching weekly TV and it is possible to have conflict between recurring characters where you don't want to put one into a medically induced coma, so they can grow a new personality.

So I can see why I didn't remember much about this episode. Three things that were awesome: Mia, Luke giving Lorelei a pep talk, the development of the painting.

The rest is annoying.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with flights between friends. If everyone was always skipping through meadows it would be stupid. However, as I've said before, I have a problem with conflicts that come about because people don't open their damned mouths. As fast and as often as Lorelei talks, she couldn't say to Sookie “Mia selling this place scares me because this is where Rory and I started out” ? I know that sometimes friends pick fights with each other when they are stressed but in my experience, once you get into your 30s and have friends that have known each other, long enough you can tell that's what happening. There have been numerous times when my best friend or I have started a conversation where one of us is just geared up for a fight. My friend let's me get about ten words in before she says “You're acting weird, tell me what's wrong.” I can be a little more blunt saying something along the lines of “What are you pissed off about?” She has two kids so once I turned the mom tables on her and said: “Use your words”.

Basically a blind cat could see that Lorelei was being an ass and it had nothing to do with Sookie. I have a hard time buying that Sookie wouldn't see it. Why did there need a fight in the first place? Was the script too short? Lorelei could have been freaked out and been a little quiet with Sookie and it would have had the same effect. Luke could have just as easily asked how Lorelei was doing with the business stuff, and they could have had the same heart-to-heart. Lorelei could have come to Sookie and explained why she was being so weird, and they could have had a similar moment. The script must have been two minutes too short.

The town turning on Luke... Yep, officially dislike Jess. Also, not too happy with the rest of the town. I'm a little biased here. I grew up in a small town, while there were no town meetings where everyone got together to decide who to treat badly, there were certain people who were just routinely shit upon. It usually had to do with what last name you had. Two families in particular were sort of singled out as “bad news”. The weird part? Everyone in town (except for a very very small number of people) were in some way related to those two families, hell, those two families were related to each other. It always seemed crazy to me... But then I was one of those few people not related to anyone in town maybe it made sense if you had an inside track?

Anyway, I get where the town is coming from, sort of. Jess is a pain in the ass, but he is doing minor mischief. Star's Hollow should count themselves lucky that they aren't a bigger town because Jess is the type to match his mayhem to the town. In a bigger place, there just might have been a dead animal outside the store instead of a chalk outline.

I did love Rory telling him off. I don't really get why Rory would find the prank funny. I mean, she likes the town, right? And while her and her mom do like seeing Star's Hollow residents be quirky she's never really shown any love of chaos. I mean, yeah, Jess is being the G rated version of Loki, but he's still making a lot of people unhappy. I would think that that alone would annoy Rory.

Also, the vibe I got was that he did the whole prank as a way to get Rory's attention... What's the thought process?

“How do I impress the pretty girl who reads a lot? Talk to her about books? Movies? Just talk to her in general? Nah, too common. I know! Dead body chalk outline and police tape! That's not freakishly odd and totally not an idea I should seek therapy for!”

Then again, I also don't get the thought process of “How do I fix the fact that I made the whole town turn on my uncle? I'll fix the toaster, now we're square!”

Jess is both weird and annoying.

I did like the interaction between Emily and Mia. It is weird because I see both sides. I totally get why Emily would be upset that Mia didn't send her home, but on the other hand I get why Mia didn't. Mia didn't send her home because she couldn't have.

Think about it. A sixteen-year-old turns up with a baby, asking for a job, she has steel and determination in her eyes. If you tell her no, you can tell she's not going to give up. She'll just move on to a place that would hire her and maybe that wouldn't be a place where she and her baby would be safe. If you give her a job and a place to stay and then try to make her go home. You can't be sure that she'll actually go home or stay home, that leaves the pair of them in the same iffy situation. Mia knew that Lorelei and Rory would be safe with her, so she took them in.

Not saying Emily should be happy about it, but as always she is looking at how Lorelei leaving impacted her and Richard, not anyone else. She has never talked to Lorelei, asked what her thinking was, the why of it all. It is just all about Emily. That is annoying. But I do like that she seems to be taking small steps forward.

All in all a fairly forgettable episode.

Episode 8. Don't really know why I forgot this one as I really liked it. I loved the ice cream machine bit. I loved that Lorelei named it and called a bunch of relatives. She should have just donated it to Luke's! Even if he didn't need it he would have taken it. Made it into a planter or something.

I feel sorry for Paris for a number of reasons but this episode highlights one. She's laser focused on college, so much so that she's not getting the most out of her education. The assignment of interpreting Romeo and Juliet in a new way is a great one! It allows for the students to really look at and analyze the play, think about the themes consider which are universal and which were products of the time and culture it was written in. This allows for creative thinking and the development of the ability to think about and use what one is learning. But poor Paris is only worried about the grade and so afraid of taking risks that she will only go with what is standard. I speak from experience here, college will melt your brain until you learn how to think.

The teachers are worried because Rory doesn't socialize? I would think they would also be worried that Paris can't think beyond the rigid boundaries of what is written on a page. This school is supposed to prep the kids for college, right? They aren't doing anything differently than the public schools of the early 2000s (aside from the one rogue teacher, I guess).

I kinda like the fact that Paris ended up being Romeo. If they had used a more modern setting that could have been the plan from the start and the whole Tristian drama could have been avoided. I mean, they could have reinterpreted the whole “forbidden love” thing as a lesbian relationship or with the idea that Romeo might be a DFAB trans guy. It would have highlighted society's issues with non hetero, non binary identities. Hell, if they wanted to go deep they could have figured out a way to address the “LGBTQ+ people don't get happy endings” trope that is obvious in a lot of media.

That would have been interesting as Paris and Rory would have had to work together to make this believable and maybe come out of it with a better idea of each other's perspectives.

Speaking of perspective, it was a throw away joke but I liked that Lane's mom watched and came up with a different take on Romeo and Juliet. In my view, R&J is many things, but a love story it is not! What kind of great love story ends in teen suicide? Sure, I thought of it as a love story when I was younger as do a lot of teenagers. I think this makes a point about the play. Teenagers do dumb things out of emotion (adults do too, but that's a whole other line of thought). This doesn't mean that teens are dumb just that they are feeling things so intensely, probably because it is the first time they have felt these emotions that they do stuff that is not well-thought-out. Add parental pressure to that and you have a powder keg. I think R&J is more about how overly controlling parents can push their kids into dangerous situations. Also, to look at the play in a way that might not have been Shakespeare's intent, it could also be seen as a parable detailing why 14 year olds might not be ready for marriage, arranged or otherwise.

Anyway, the little “love triangle” between Christian, Rory, and Dean in this episode was less interesting. First off, I get that Rory is a pretty girl but why is she like catnip to all the boys? Are there really no other nice girls in Chilton or Star's Hollow? The way all the guys flock to and fight over her, you'd think she was dating a sparkly vampire.

Secondly, am I the only one who sees a lot of similarity between Tristian and Jess? Is that why Tristian had to go? Because he was redundant? It is sort of like Christopher and Max. They both could play the same role so one of them had to be cut. The writers needed to compare notes because I feel like there were a few “Oops, we wrote another doppelganger” discussions.

Thirdly, why is Rory still getting the blame for her and Dean's break up? The whole practice fight between Lorelei and Rory just highlights that Lorelei is sort of mean when it comes to this plot line. Dean told Rory he loved her and then got pissed and broke up with her because she didn't feel comfortable saying it back. How does this make Dean the victim? Just because one person is ready for the L word doesn't mean that the other person is, and that doesn't make the latter person bad. Acting like an ass and breaking up with someone you “love” because you didn't hear what you wanted to hear when you wanted to hear it makes that person a jerk.

This seems sort of like the whole “friend zone” myth. A dude decided he wants to date someone but that person doesn't want to date him therefore it is the other person's fault because the dude wants to date them, so they should date the dude! He's decided that he is the right guy for this person, so it must be true. The other person is just a bitch.

Dean loves Rory and is ready to say it, therefore Rory must love Dean and be ready too. He's reached this point so, goddammit, she needs to be at this point too. After all Dean decides how emotions work.

Dean is a teenager (and did something dumb out of emotion) so I can sort of forgive him for not fully empathizing and acting out of hurt feelings. It is the fact that Lorelei keeps sticking up for the dude who was trying to emotionally manipulate her daughter that gets to me. That was part of the “rage trilogy” from last season that made me annoyed at Lorelei because she was all “See it from his side” which is totally valid except for the fact that his side was to act like a brat who didn't get the ice cream he wanted *right then*.

Uge!

Okay on to somewhat happier things. Lorelei's date. That was cute and funny, how she was all proud of being a casual dater and I even liked a lot of jokes Luke made about how old the guy was. It was also really cute how Sookie tried to explain Luke to her. But Luke was being snarkier than necessary. I mean Lorelei is firmly set on her course of sailing that river in Egypt, so she's not going to ask him out right now. I get him being jealous, but he could, you know *ask her out*. I get why he doesn't, I mean what if she says no? But if what Sookie said is supposed to be true, that he's upset because it seems like Lorelei would date anyone but him, how can he be pissed at her when he's never asked? I guess that's why Luke limits it to taking pot shots and then being grouchy(ier) because he realizes he's sulking? Oddly I don't mind this sort of stuff when it involves Luke and Lorelei but when the same stupid jealousy stuff comes up with Rory and Dean, it bugs me. Maybe because as pouty as Luke gets he doesn't act like he owns Lorelei? Don't know really. Luke is likable, Dean is not. Might be as simple as that.

A forgettable episode followed by a pretty good one. Episode 8 didn't have Jess and despite revolving around Rory's love life Dean was less irritating than Tristian. Nothing has pissed me off horribly yet. So far, so good.