#he hates cops but sometimes people mistake him for one and it's literally just because of the trench coat

[constantineshots]

[tonberry-yoda]

Jailbreak - Dabi

notes: I AM SO PROUD OF THE WAY THIS TURNED OUT OMFG. literally dabi brainrot BAD. this took me two days to write, so i am so glad i got it out today :) literally cannot get over this gorgeous man jesus christ

word count: 2,060

WARNINGS: language. dabi being hot. i didnt proofread this i just wrote it and posted it. sorry if there are mistakes lol

You watched as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of the back pocket of an officer standing in front of him that you were talking to. He took a single one and slid the pack back in the man's pocket, lighting up the current cigarette he had in his hand with his own quirk, which proved difficult seeing as he was in a pair of handcuffs. He leaned back in a chair and smoked, watching your every move before the officer bid you a farewell, not even noticing that the villain had taken anything from him.

You sat across from Dabi and locked your eyes onto his, which looked like portals, and not to something villainous either. You quickly shook it from your head and pulled out a pen and paper.

"So, what do you want from me, babe?" Dabi blew smoke in your face, but you stayed unwavering.

"Answers." You said, leaning back in your chair a bit.

"You're not gonna get shit outta me." He flicked some ash off of the end of his cigarette.

"And why's that?"

"You're a journalist, right? I don't fuck with journalists." He sat calm, cool, and collected, smoking that cigarette until there was nothing left.

"I'm not a journalist." You kept your voice low, knowing that there were cops listening in on your conversation.

"Then what are you?" Dabi had a mocking tone, but his voice was just as low as yours.

"Curious."

"That right?" He crossed his arms over each other and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, that's right. Now tell me, what's your name?"

"Dabi."

"You're real name."

"Dabi."

"Your full name."

"Hell no. I haven't sat with your pretty face long enough to tell you that kinda shit. I don't even know you're name." He was definitely mocking you. He picked at his ear and stared at the ceiling while you thought. This was going to prove difficult if he was going to be acting like this all the time.

"y/n."

"Sorry?" He sat up in his chair a bit, confused.

"That's my name. y/n."

"Cute. What's next? You gonna ask me to hang out sometime. Want my number, sugar?"

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. If you knew he was gonna be this much of an ass, you wouldn't have even shown up.

"What are you getting all irritated about?" He asked, rapping his knuckles on the table. "You're not the one in handcuffs, babe."

"Fine," you said, scooping up your stuff. "If you have such a problem with me being here, I'll leave."

"Good." He crossed his arms as guards rushed in the room to help you leave.

"I'll be back though, Dabi. I'll have you know that now."

"Fine. All the more fun for me then. Though, I don't expect to be here much longer, toots."

You were escorted out of the building by two very nice guards who had warned you to beware of people like him, as if you didn't already know. You got in your car and stared at yourself in the rearview mirror. How the hell were you supposed to help him now?

You hated that they made prisons more locked down because of stupid All for One. Ever since All Might retired, your job was getting ten times harder.

You had always empathized with villains. They just lost the life lottery. They were dealt a bad quirk and usually bad parents. You made it your goal to work with villains undercover. Break them out of jail, give them the essentials they needed, even help plan out missions they had. But now being undercover was getting ten times more difficult thanks to the heroes and their stupid ranks. Not only that but villains thought you were just another idiot.

But even so, you had to work hard. Especially for him.

---

Dabi sat in his cell fiddling with the stained sheets on his spring mattress. His whole room was fire proof, which was a pain in his ass.

He couldn't believe he was caught. After everything he's done, he was caught robbing a goddamn convenient store. It made him want to slam his head against the wall.

But his mind never left you. Who were you anyway? And why did you even care about him? He stared at the ceiling thinking about it. Did you work for the league? For someone he knew? A hero? His mind was racing thinking about it. And you would be back? He didn't know what you meant by that. You should know that he wasn't going to tell you anything, but you said you'd be back anyway. Were you going to torture him to tell you anything you wanted to hear? Not like it would hurt him anyway.

Either way, you confused him.

And he kind of wanted you back.

---

"Hey, shithead!" A guard banged on Dabi's cell, making him jump. "You have a visitor."

Dabi sat up in his bed, expecting to be escorted from his cell to the other room, but you were standing right in front of the cell.

"What the-" his words trailed off seeing you again and he tilted his head. "How'd you..."

You placed your hand on the shoulder of the guard standing next to you and he went completely still, his eyes turning to static. Your quirk. It was like you could turn people on and off like a lightbulb. He wouldn't remember a thing when he woke up.

Dabi looked at you with his mouth gaping open. "Holy shit! You're a villain."

You shrugged. "I wouldn't say a villain, but-"

"Who are you working for?"

"Myself." You took the keys from the guard and unlocked his cell. "Ready to get outta here?"

Dabi smirked at you and grabbed your hand that you had outstretched to him. "You gonna take me to dinner?" He asked, all smarmy like.

"I'll think about it." You laughed, walking Dabi out of the prison past hundreds of guards that seemed to be shut off.

"How long are they gonna be like that?" Dabi asked, realizing that his hand was still in yours. He didn't move it.

"Sometimes minutes. Sometimes hours. I guess we'll figure that out when we cross that bridge, won't we?"

"I like you, cupcake."

You rolled your eyes and walked out of the prison, cold air hitting both of your faces. "Just get in the car, Dabi."

"Gladly, though," he held his hands out to you. "Could you get these cuffs off of me?"

You smiled. "Of course." You unlocked the cuffs and he rubbed his wrists which were so raw that they were a bright red. You couldn't believe that they had him in cuffs even in his cell.

"Were you planning on breaking me out that whole time?" Dabi looked at himself in the mirror on the sunblock in your car, giving himself a little kiss.

"Yeah. I didn't want to use my quirk like that because it can be a real pain when they all wake up."

"Well, I think it's cool." He rolled down the window and took a deep breath of fresh air. "Damn it's good to be out. Thanks for that."

You just kept your eyes on the road, a soft smile tugging at your lips.

"So, where do we go after this?"

"My place," you said, rolling down your own window. "The league is off doing their own thing, plus, I know you don't really have a place, so I don't mind if you stay for a couple nights."

"Seriously?! You have like a bed and a fridge and stuff?!" You looked over at him when you stopped at a stop light and he looked like an excited child.

"Seriously." You said with a little chuckle.

"Damn, you are one cool chick, you know that?"

"You think? Well I'm flattered."

"You should be. Cuz damn you're good." Dabi surprised you by leaning over and planting a kiss on your cheek that left it warm for a moment.

For the rest of the ride, he was quiet, letting the wind blow in his hair as he watched the world speed by. You couldn't help but sneak a couple of looks at him.

"You know, Dabi," you said, clutching the steering wheel as you pulled into the parking garage of your apartment. "You're probably the most fun villain I've broken out of jail."

"For real?!" He said all excited like. "You mean that?"

"Of course I mean that." You got out of your car and stretched.

"Well," he opened his door and stepped out, not even caring that he was still in his prison uniform. "You're the most fun person who's ever broken me out."

You grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to your apartment as he winked at a group of drunk girls stumbling to their own room.

When he stepped in the small living space, he stood in the middle, getting his grounds. A smile was spread across his face before he ran to your couch, slumping down on it. "Cozy place."

"Thanks." You grabbed a shopping bag off of your counter and threw it at him.

"What's this?" He asked when he opened it up, pulling out the contents.

"Clean clothes, shampoo, toothbrush, other hygiene stuff. I hope I got your size right."

He looked up at you with light in his eyes. "You didn't have to do all this for me."

You shrugged and started making dinner. "I did."

He smiled and jumped up to run to the bathroom to use any product he could. You cracked an egg over a frying pan and began frying some rice with it. A lazy dinner, but enough to fill you up.

Dabi ran out of the bathroom and jumped back on the couch, finding your cat sitting on the top, which gladly walked over to him to begin to cuddle him.

"I think he likes you," you giggled, bringing Dabi a plate of food. "He's sweet, so you don't have to worry if he'll bite you."

Dabi scratched your cat under his its ears and gladly took the food. "Seriously, you don't have to waste your time on me."

"I'm not wasting my time, I'm doing my job." You sat next to Dabi and the two of you ate dinner in silence.

Dabi finally spoke up, setting his empty plate down. He sure finished that fast. "Why are you doing this anyway?"

"I know what it's like to feel alone. And lost." Dabi smiled at you.

"You sure are sweet for working with a ton of assholes."

You shrugged. "Not all of them are assholes."

"Just me then? Shit."

You and Dabi both laughed and your cat decided to go sleep in its bed on the ground.

"Well, it's getting late, Dabi. I should be heading off to bed. I'll get you a blow up mattress set up in my room."

Dabi followed you and helped you pull a giant blow up mattress out of your closet. While it was blowing up, you and Dabi talked about stupid stuff. First dates, food, traveling, the outdoors, stuff villains wouldn't talk about. Stuff regular people would talk about.

Dabi sat on the edge of your bed and looked out of the window. "You have a nice view of the sky."

"I do, don't I?" You laid out your pillow in a more comfortable area and laid down.

"What's it like?"

"What's what like?" You asked, seeing his blue eyes glimmering in the moonlight that peeked through the window.

"Having a normal life."

"I don't have a normal life." You tried, but Dabi put his hand up.

"More normal than me. You have running water and food. You should be thankful."

"I am thankful," you said, your voice soft.

"Good." His voice was barely audible.

"You can stay here as long as you want."

"I don't want to intrude."

"But I don't want you to be lonely again. I don't want to be lonely again."

Dabi turned and smiled at you. "Fine. I'll stay. But I have to go eventually, don't I?"

"Not anytime soon." You sat up and pressed a kiss onto his ear.

"No, not anytime soon."

The two of you accidently fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms, leaving a lone blow up mattress strewn on the floor.

~~~~~

mha masterlist | pinned post @tonberry-yoda

[tears-of-boredom]

ok im done with the gay cops now cause im getting really sad and jealous of them your honor. i wanna have gay sex with a coworker too. gonna read this book to forget my sadness. im really questioning if its worth the read cause whoever translated it didnt seem to even check for spelling mistakes, and also there was like a pedo in the first 30 pages and it was real gross and i cant tell what youre supposed to think of him. and also the writing style is like an odd 3rd perspective, where sometimes you know the thoughts of people other than the main character, but also in the first chapter literally everything that was described was done through this womans mind. so its real confusing how im supposed to interpret everything. like are the adjectives being used at all objective, or is it skewed by the character we're following. also it has a habit of padding dialogue way too much, to such a point that a whole paragraph can amount to nothing. literally hold on....

yeah, theres one rant, that takes up an entire page, its two people talking, but the subject is brought up from nothing, and has nothing to do with what they were discussing before. and then no one even acknowledges how out of nowhere it came, and instead just move on to another thing.

also, so its a finnish translation of Lynmara and the translator uses both "jazz" and "jats" interchangeably, without any like, reason why. like they mean the same thing but its so confusing when they change the spelling constantly. also "college" ja "yliopisto" seem to be used interchangeably, which confused me at first because i understood them as two different things,, because why else would they be using two different words. but no they're the same thing and the translator just really was not paying attention to what they were doing. i dont recommend getting Tutteli Lindberg as your translator. if they're even alive anymore. because this book is like 50 years old.

hold on ill copy these three word for word

1: "Minä satun tietämään melkoisen paljon nimenomaan tästä aiheesta. Sinä olet kokenut jo muutaman järkytyksen tänä iltana, joten yksi lisää ei enää tunnu liian pahalta, mutta voi saada sinut katsomaan asioita järkevästi. Oikeastaan minä en ole koskaan aikonut kertoa sinulle tästä. Ei tehnyt mieli kertoa, sillä tämä juttu ei mielestäni koskenut sinua. Enkä minä luullut että minun täytyisi, jotta saisin sinut vakuuttuneeksi niin yliopistoon menosta kuin muistakin asioista. Mutta sinä olet itsepäinen ja eräässä mielessä aika tietämätön pikkutyttö. Pakko minun on valistaa sinua."

OH MY GOD JUST FUCKING GET ON WITH IT. the book has already established every single piece of information that this dialogue could've given to you. and i dont know whether to blame the author or the translator.

and 1 and 2 only have a paragraph of text in between them.

2: "Tämä tapahtui kauan sitten. Kaikkien kertomusten pitäisi kai alkaa juuri näin, mutta olisipa siitä kulunut vieläkin pitempi aika, niin että voisin unohtaa kaiken. Vielä nytkin minusta tuntuu mielikuvitukselliselta että sellaista saattoi tapahtua. Jos olisin ollut vanhempi ja kokeneempi, jos olisin osannut laskelmoida, olisin ehkä luullut että kaikki oli jotenkin omaa syytäni. Mutta niin ei ollut."

JUST FUCKING TELL THE STORY OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS PROVIDES NOTHING

theres like 48 words between 2 and 3

3: "Sinät et tiedä mitään isovanhemmistasi - paitsi että he olivat venäläisiä ja jättivät maansa vuonna 1907, asuivat kaksi vuotta pariisissa, missä isoäitisi kuoli, ja että isä ja minä asuimme sen jälkeen parisen vuotta Lontoossa, kunnes isänikin kuoli."

thats somehow only one sentence. also. IF SHE KNOWS ALL OF THAT ALREADY WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TELLING IT TO HER. I GET THAT ITS TO TELL THE READER WHAT INFORMATION THE GIRL HAS BUT DEAR GOD THIS IS LIKE WRITING 101 THIS IS NOT HOW YOU GIVE INFORMATION TO THE READER.

anyways

im gonna atleast hate read this to the end. i also have a pen and im leaving underlinings and comments. such as "aristokraattinen mulkku", "vitun pedo?", "iy?? vitun ällö", "?creep?", and, "mikä vitun räntti toi oli??".

[fanficsfromyesteryear]

Hi! Can I request headcanons for dating marcus (deadly class)? Thank you

HEADCANONS FOR DATING MARCUS LOPEZ ARGUELLO

A/N: Just a head’s up, I got a little carried away, so this is kinda long lol. Also, sorry this took forever! I’ve been suuuuuper busy lately :/ I almost had it done before work picked back up, but I couldn’t figure out how to end it. Anyway, I hope you like it!!

Before the two of you started dating, Marcus had no idea that you liked him, and for good reason

You did such a good job with hiding your feelings that sometimes even you forgot they were there, which was kind of the whole point

With girls like Saya and Maria around, sending out mixed signals and dropping subtle hints that they liked Marcus, too, it was intimidating

Add Marcus’s constant cynicism about love, and life in general, into the mix, and it was clear the chances of him actually liking you back were next to nothing

So, you knew it was probably for the best to move on

You used the “if you ignore it, it’ll go away” approach in the hopes that if you simply didn’t acknowledge your feelings, the problem would disappear

All this did, however, was create a whole new issue

Somewhere along the way, you’d begun to take the thought process of ‘ignoring your crush’ too literally

You and Marcus were best friends, so when, out of the blue, you stopped talking to him, he could tell something was up

He had no clue what, though

Naturally, he assumed it was something he had done

Marcus started asking around among your mutual friends to see if they knew anything, but they were all just as out of the loop as he was

You hadn’t told anyone about your repressed feelings for Marcus, and you had no intention of letting the secret slip any time soon, but accidents happen

The truth came out one night during a game of truth or dare when you were up on the roof smoking with the Rats

Your confession came tumbling out quicker than you could even think about reeling the words back in

“You hear that, Romeo?” Billy asked, elbowing Marcus in the ribs. “Y/N’s got the hots for you”

All Marcus could do was laugh nervously as he looked down at his feet, refusing to meet your gaze

To your relief, no one brought it up again for the rest of the game

When the next day rolled around and your crush on Marcus still wasn’t the topic of conversation, you started to think that you were in the clear

Maybe they’d all been too stoned to remember when they’d woken up that morning

Your hopes were shattered by the late afternoon

As you left the bathroom, Marcus spotted you from across the hall

He quickly rushed over and caught you by the elbow, dragging you back through the doorway

“Relationships aren’t really my thing,” he said

Marcus sounded like he had more to say, but before he got the chance, you cut him off

“It’s fine,” you said. “I get it”

“No, no. I mean, I like you, Y/N, really. I just don’t wanna mess it up”

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face even if you tried

“You’re not gonna mess it up”

Before either of you could say more, the bathroom door opened and Petra walked in

She glanced between the two of you knowingly

“Hate to break this up, but if I hold this piss in any longer, I’ll explode”

With that, she pushed past you both, effectively ruining the moment

It didn’t take long after that for you and Marcus to make your relationship official

‘Official’ is a bit of a loose term in this case

For the most part, both of you kept the fact that you were dating fairly under the radar for fear of what others would do with that information

In a place like King’s Dominion, something as small as caring for another person beyond using them as an ally was seen as a weakness that could and would be used against you, and the last thing either of you wanted was to be put in a situation where you were pitted against each other

Of course, there were several instances when one (or both) of you nearly blew your cover

Such as in Martial Arts class

Instead of fighting you, Marcus would try to cop a feel

You’d quickly smack his hand away

“Miss De Luca’s right there!”

“She’s not looking”

In defense of both of you, though, a class in which hormonal teenagers are asked to pair themselves up and wrestle is practically an invitation to break the ‘no sex’ rule

The other classes you shared weren’t any better

Master Lin caught you and Marcus staring at each other instead of paying attention on multiple occasions, earning both of you a smack from his cane

Although Marcus was somewhat known for his smart mouth and talking back to authority, he knew better than to challenge Lin, not mention that if he did, he’d risk exposing the two of you in the process

So, Marcus bit back his insults and held in his tirade until the two of you were safely locked away in his dorm room

“He had no right to hit you like that”

“I’m fine,” you assured him, shoving another tissue up your nose to stop the bleeding. “Besides, he does it to everyone”

“That still doesn’t give him the right”

“Next time, I’m gonna stick that cane right up his ass”

Marcus wanted to shield you from all the violence at King’s, but when it was coming from teachers, there wasn’t much he could do about it

If it was a fellow student pushing you around, on the other hand, there was no holding him back

You loved how protective Marcus was of you, but sometimes you worried that he’d get carried away

Marcus always made sure you were never around to witness the fights take place, but the scrapes and bruises on his face that hadn’t been there when you saw him that morning were all the proof you needed

In such cases, you would insist on patching him up afterwards

The first few times this happened, Marcus was embarrassed by all the attention you were giving him

After a while, though, he grew to love the feeling of having someone fuss over him, especially if it was you

It was nice to have someone care about him for a change

You weren’t much of a fighter, but making sure he didn’t get Tetanus was your way of looking out for him

When you and Marcus weren’t getting into trouble, you were actually a pretty cute couple

Your roommates became accustomed to the two of you being a package deal, which often meant sneaking into each other’s rooms after lights out

Sometimes, it was to make out, but other times, it was so you could have late night conversations that you didn’t get the chance to have during the day

The topics of these conversations varied—they could be deep and philosophical (which was Marcus’s favorite kind), an opportunity to open up to each other about yourselves and your pasts, a time to plot someone’s death (usually only theoretically), or simply joking around

After especially long days, you would accidentally drift off in the middle of these nightly chats with your head on Marcus’s chest, but he never minded

He’d pull the covers up on your side and wrap his arms more tightly around you

While both of you were perfectly capable of pulling all-nighters, whenever you fell asleep, Marcus was never far behind

The sound of your evened-out breathing was like a lullaby to him, so it was safe to say that his sleep schedule drastically improved after the two of you started dating

You’d found that you slept better with Marcus, too, so on the few nights you spent apart, you’d doze off listening to the mixtapes he’d made you in your Walkman, which were full of your favorite songs and songs that reminded him of you (though, these had quickly become your favorites, too)

It was rare that the two of you weren’t together, though

Even during the day, you and Marcus were practically joined at the hip

At lunch, you would hold hands under the table and share food

Of course, this always opened the door for plenty of teasing from your friends, especially Lex

“While you’re at it, why don’t you chew the food up for each other and pass it back and forth like little birds?”

“Fuck off, Lex”

It was always in good fun, though

Actually, the other Rats were relieved when the two of you finally got together because the weird tension that had been brewing leading up to that point went away, meaning group hangouts could carry on normally

They could overlook you sitting in Marcus’s lap if it meant you weren’t being distant and secretive

Just like they pretended not to notice when you showed up to class wearing each other’s blazers by mistake after spending the night together

Or walking in late looking ✨especially disheveled✨

All in all, you and Marcus are King’s Dominion’s cutest couple™️ that only, like, five other people know about, but still-

[westwingwolf]

In this post, I go into a long, defensive character/ship study for reflection after New Blood so for the sake of not clogging the tag and anyone who doesn’t want to see it or doesn’t want to be spoiled, it’s under the cut.

I think if you are looking for Tim to apologize for some of those early days, you are going to be disappointed. At least for a while. Because Tim sees a lot of what he did as practical training methods he’d use on any other rookie. Whether that’s right or wrong in your opinion, doesn’t matter. It’s how Tim sees it and therefore how the writers intend for him to see it. For all else, any time Tim crossed a line: he was called out, acknowledged it himself, apologized and/or thanked Lucy for her help.

A lot of those things were what Tim was going to do to any rookie if he thought that was the type of training the rookie needed. Tim says he is a show type of guy. He isn’t just going to tell a rookie the wrong or right method. He is going to create a scenario in which they learn it the hard way but in a safe, controlled environment. He was going to kick Jackson out of the car if he got the answer wrong, but Jackson got it right. And when he realized Jackson needed a different type of training to help him get over his fear of gunfire or quit or else Angela would get fired, he changed his tactics. And both times literally end up saving his own life. Lucy knew exactly where she was when she radioed that Tim had been shot. Jackson ran down the armed guy shooting at Tim because Tim said if he couldn’t get into the fight to stay in the car, so Jackson found a way around that.

The way Lucy words it, it doesn’t sound like she believes that Tim tormented her all through the job. Just that first day (well, and the second but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that those first 2 shifts can be treated like a first day) and some time after. Because the next thing she mentioned as a month later is the bathroom incident. That happened the day Tim came back to work after being shot. In between time which she spent an entire shift with Officer Wrigley(?) who was nice and treated her like a rockstar, and was boring because he wouldn’t take interesting calls. She is stuck with that until Tim questions if she is just going to let a criminal get away when she can do something about it. She called him a pain in her ass which he responded was the job. In that moment you can see that Lucy is not going to back down, and that Tim sees this as how to best train her. Their reactions of each other shows a mutual understanding of the other and the start of an acceptance. And maybe Tim does torment Lucy a little all through the job just to keep her on her toes.

As to the bathroom incident: in Amber, Harper made a point of saying how important it is to find a proper bathroom so that’s obviously something they teach at the academy or veterans learn through experience. And Lucy knew to secure the bathroom which she did. Just not enough. And Tim knew that would probably happen so he took advantage of that. Just as he would if any other rookie who needed that type of training had done that. This happened before he got the call about Isabel. The things he did after, intentionally starting a fight with the biker gang, that was out of line because he was upset about Isabel. And Lucy called him out on that. Just as she has done every time since Tim has stepped over the line.

I don’t believe Lucy actually gets triggered when she walks into a shoe store. Exaggeration to prove a point through humor. I laughed anyways. Especially since I’m sure the things that actually trigger Lucy are more like complete darkness and locked in confined, tight places. Does he say boot more than anyone else? Yes. Does that change depending on the outward image Tim is trying to convey? Also yes. The hardass Tim was those first few days/weeks/months (depending on which timeline we are going with) is not who he truly is. And Lucy knows that. She sticks up for him more than anyone. She calls him out on his shit, but also reminds him he is a good person. That side of him only comes back out when he truly fears not being tough will cause a setback. Such as when he yelled at her for having something in her gun hand other than her gun after Chris was shot and his TO pointed out that he told him how to proceed and his rookie didn’t listen. And Lucy wasn’t even mad at Tim about that because by then she knows him and what he is like. All her anger was at Emmett for stepping in where he shouldn’t. Because Lucy can handle herself, and she can handle Tim. Which Tim knows perfectly well and has said so. If Lucy was truly so upset by all that Tim has done, she wouldn’t insist that they are friends. Yes, she was eager to get out of training, but she also took the time to ensure that they had proper acknowledgment as to the closure of her training. And an acceptance that they would be friends from this point on was admitted by both of them in that “see you tomorrow.”

I’ll grant you the lessons can go overboard, but they actually work. When Lucy was in that bomber’s house after he set a bomb, she told Harper to get clear of the house and radio for help. Why? Because she learned that radio frequencies can sometimes set off bombs. She never forgot that lesson. And used it as payback for Tim later so double bonus.

So here is where Lucy can differ from any other rookie trained the same way by Tim. She learned those lessons and remembers them later when she is more or less by herself. It’s not just something that can be told and hope you remember when the necessary time comes. It is something lived through experience, again in a safer and more controlled environment, that she remembers. Maybe not all rookies would, but she did. And where she differs is how she gets Tim back anytime she feels he needs payback: stealing his money clip, giving him her bar tab as an evaluation, giving him his own powder bomb, etc. Things no other rookie would dare try, and he lets her get away with it. Because I think he actually likes that he found someone who can match his diabolical ways. Honestly, if these two weren’t such good people at heart, they’d pair up to be the world’s greatest supervillains.

Jackson called Lucy out on why would she want Tim to torment someone else if she hated how he treated her. So either she didn’t have that big of a problem with it or she doesn’t like the implication that it was something wrong about her that Tim felt warranted that kind of treatment. Yes, Lucy needs praise. She has always needed praise. Especially from authority figures. (Yes, I know the implications of that from a shipping POV, but if you are already shipping Chenford, you’re either ignoring it or waiting until it’s no longer an issue or both.) It’s clear from her relationship with her parents that she at first tried to get it from them. That’s why she studied psychology. To please them. And once she found what she wanted and stuck with it, she thought they’d be happy for her and she’d get that praise but she didn’t. She is still looking for it in her life. So she looks at this situation as there must have been something wrong with her and somehow the new rookie is better. Which Tim disproves. It wasn’t about her being less than; it’s about her being different and needing different training tactics. And her differences are actually things Lucy values, and Tim values too (clearly as he is tried to get Barnes to see policing as helping people and not as engaging enemy combatants. Plus take a look at how Tim treats people in the community even ones he previously arrested. He still tries to help them.) But Tim recognizes Lucy also needed a different perspective even if her perspective still ultimately wins out. Which Lucy acknowledges in Resolutions. She still chooses to be a cop in her own way. She still values empathy and compassion first and foremost. Seeing the world as the scary place it can be just rounds out her perspective, but it doesn’t overwhelm it. And Tim stopped pushing that perspective after Lucy found out just how scary the world can be. Because Lucy has been though all of that, gained perspective but still stayed true to herself, she is a good cop. Again, something Tim acknowledged. He disavowed her of the idea that she was somehow less, explained his position, and complimented her with probably the highest compliment he could give someone: the respect of being a good cop.

That difference in how Tim & Lucy approach things is what made them such a great partnership. Tim sees things with suspicion first, compassion second. While Lucy is compassion first, suspicion second. They both quickly adapt to either, but also help the other with finding the necessary POV. So they hardly ever miss anything because if one doesn’t see it, the other will. They are complimentary but not so stubborn in their own initial POVs that they force the issue making things worse. If one is passionate in their belief, the other will follow their decision.

So here is my point: whatever they went through before, good and bad, does not have a drastic effect on discouraging their friendship (and possibly romantic relationship). All of that is more or less fond (okay not so fond) memories. They understand each other, have forgiven each other (Lucy more than Tim because Tim crossed more lines), accepted their faults, encouraged each other, acknowledged each other, and basically formed a lasting bond that is more than TO/rookie and even more than most friendships can be lucky to have. Perhaps even more than most romantic relationships get. And frankly, holding any past mistakes over each other’s head to the point of disgruntlement would not lead to a healthy relationship. Which is why I don’t think Lucy truly holds what Tim did against him. I think it was as it appeared: wondering why the new rookie was treated differently and if that is a reflection on her. Which it wasn’t in any negative way. But to make her point about the differences, Lucy had to list the ways Tim handled everything in their early days. And to make his point, Tim clearly explains the differences and what necessitates that difference. An apology for any of that would negate the point he was making. If Lucy was truly upset in any lasting way, she wouldn’t have immediately worried about Barnes, and she wouldn’t have been so happy at Tim’s compliment.

Will Tim ever apologize for the early days? Maybe. Maybe not. Does he need to? I don’t think so. Not for me anyways. Because Tim is a show me type of guy, and he has shown Lucy in so many ways how much he values her. And Lucy has shown that that means more to her than anything.

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

[frogtanii]

hq boys as the crimes they’d commit

warnings: CRIMES, crackfic, probably many typos idk i’m so tired lmaooo, cursing, drinking ??? idfk 😩💦

an: and i did this for what?? inspired by hq hcs royalty @sugardaddykenma @hina-wit-da-glock (AJSKSJ SORRY FOR TAGGING Y’ALL IF YOU SEE THIS, IT IS DEF NOT UP TO PAR W Y’ALLS WORKS ILY)

karasuno

sawamura daichi- insurance fraud!! somehow this is such a dad crime to commit?? dadchi didn’t try (dumb excuse, how do you accidentally commit insurance fraud smh) to commit insurance fraud but at one point in his late-thirties, he was very very broke and was already working as much as possible so, he decided to fake an ankle injury, as you do, and filed a bunch of claims which made him bank. daichi kept doing it until he was able to quit one of his jobs and buy himself a really nice suit and a rolex (uhhh 🥵). he somehow never got caught tho and to this day, none of his friends know how he was able to afford a tesla on a cop’s salary (sorry daichi but acab 😔✨)

sugawara kōshi- child abandonment!! ok you can try and fight me on this but i feel in my bones that suga absolutely despises children. he can tolerate ages 10+ but anything younger than that, he will punt them into the next dimension. the thing is, people just assume he likes kids because of how good he is with his team which is why his aunt begged him to babysit his nephew taro. taro was being an absolute brat when suga took him out for the day and he was 👉👈 this close to snapping. he put taro down for like 3 seconds to pay for their ice cream and when he turned back, the demon spawn was gone. he panicked, running around the park looking for taro when it turns out, taro was just bent down behind the bench. some random karen called the police and suga has never craved murder more.

nishinoya yuu- arson!! you CANNOT tell me nishinoya doesn’t have a ~murder~ playlist that he listens to to get himself hype (me too noya, me too). one night, he got a lil too hype listening to start a riot by duckwrth and watching demolition videos on youtube. he snuck out of his house to an empty shed like 30 minutes away and maybe... lit it on fire while genocide by lil darkie played on a speaker nearby. what he did NOT anticipate was the absolute size of the fire so he freaked out and called the firefighters who promptly called the police. he didn’t want to get grounded so he called daichi to bail him out. daichi still told noya’s parents 😔.

tanaka ryūnosuke- vandalism!! tanaka had been on alt tiktok and saw a group of cool friends spray painting an abandoned building. he thought “that’s cool, lemme do that!” but then he realized he had no friends (AHDGS JK I LOVE TANAKA). he asked nishinoya who was grounded from the arson incident and he knew he definitely couldn’t ask daichi, suga, asahi, or enoshita so he decided to go it alone. that proved to be a MASSIVE mistake. he got the supplies, arrived to the building of his choice (thanks saeko :3), and decided to spray paint a huge p3ni5 in bright red paint. he finished “successfully” and zoomed back home. what he didn’t realize with his two-and-a-half braincells is that he signed his glorious piece with his full name. the cops were at his house the next morning...🧍

hinata shoyō- forgery!! hinata did NOT think that forgery was even a crime. how was he supposed to know that he wasn’t allowed to copy his mom’s signature on a permission form! all he wanted was to go to an overnight training camp 😿

kageyama tobio- attempted murder!! kageyama swears it sounds worse than was and he is absolutely incorrect. what happened was so much worse. he and hinata were having a competition to see who could hold their breath the longest underwater (you can’t tell me they haven’t done some dumbass shit like this) and kageyma lost almost instantly (he has the tiny lungs of an asthmatic). he didn’t want hinata to notice so he held hinata’s head under the water for like 10 seconds. suga walked in though, saw hinata thrashing around in the water and immediately called the police. kageyama never forgave him.

tsukishima kei- cyberbullying!! first of all, i had no idea you could get arrested for cyber bullying!? that being said, neither did tsukishima who spent 80% of his time making fun of people online (and on his real account!! bold). eventually one of the people he bullied (hinata) reported him on instagram and his very lame account was deleted (pls don’t bully people online 😤).

yamaguchi tadashi- shoplifting!! andjksh this is so funny because this scenario has happened to me and i can just SEE this happening to poor tadashi. yamaguchi gets super late night cravings (and usually tsukki will walk with him at like 3 am 🥺 nEWAYS) so he’ll sneak out and walk to the mini-mart near his house. one night, he was so tired but also super hungry so he went onto his nightly routine and basically sleepwalked into the store. he picked out his favorite chips and candy bar (which are sour cream&onion lays and milky ways in case you were wondering 😌✨) and just... walked out the store without paying. the store clerk was mysteriously missing so yamaguchi made it all the way home, ate half the bag of chips and passed out without realizing what he’d done. once he did, he cried for 2 hours straight.

nekoma

kuroo tetsurō- telemarketing fraud!! kuroo originally did telemarketing fraud as a joke?? like he was trying to prank call someone pretending that they had lost their information and they actually gave it to him??? he was mildly concerned but even more excited. he did it over and over again but he never used the info for anything. to this day, kuroo literally has a notebook full of credit card numbers and bank account passwords but he refuses to use it because he believes it’s ✨wrong✨(but it isn’t wrong to take all that information in the first place under false pretenses, not realizing that once people find out, they are forced to close credit cards and accounts but go off self righteous king). once he brought the book up to kenma and he offered to sell it on the dark web. now kuroo feels less bad about what he’s done! :D

kozume kenma- computer crime!! pfttt this one seems kinda obvious but what do you expect from kenma :). he spends so much time on the internet, he’s definitely picked up some less than legal skills that still help him now 👀. kenma did little mini crimes like getting into other people’s wifi but his crowning achievement was when he hacked into the minneapolis pd website and had it so when you opened the page, a black lives matter screen came up. he never told anyone that it was him who did it but he thinks it’s the best he’s ever done.

yaku morisuke- racketeering!! yaku, the feral king, ran an underground gambling ring in the basement of nekoma (do they have basements?? who knows! i don’t!) during his third year. the only reason it didn’t get shut down was because coach nekomata took a portion of yaku’s profits whenever he won (which was literally all the time). everyone on the team has lost money to him which is why they never play with him anymore. they won’t even let yaku play monopoly 😔.

haiba lev- indecent exposure!! poor lev’s head is so empty, he tends to fall for whatever pranks his senpai’s do to him. this time kuroo had somehow convinced him that in order to grow his schlong, he had to run outside naked for 10 minutes because the moonlight had special growing properties. lev was a lil scared ngl because he was already superrr tall and didn’t need to grow his height (or his dick ((boy is hung)) but poor lev is insecure) but he did it anyway. long story short, an old woman saw him parading around the neighborhood naked and called el policia. 0/10 dick did NOT grow and had to spend a night in jail naked 😿

aoba johsai

oikawa tōru- prostitution!! KAKKAKA iwazumi made fun of oikawa for being so shitty and said that he couldn’t pick up anyone if he tried. flattykawa took this as a personal challenge and went out onto the street, asking people if they’d have sex with him. with the way he was asking (and the way he was dressed), people assumed he was a paid w h o r e and someone eventually reported him. iwazumi had to pick oikawa up from the station- he never let him live this one down.

iwaizumi hajime- battery!! it wasn’t technically battery but oikawa is a lil bitch and overreacts (at least in his words -_-). the amount of times iwa-chan has beat the absolute shit out of oikawa is uNREAL. he just can’t handle the stupidity sometimes so he just smacks the crap outta him. not for real for real but the way oikawa reacts, you’d think a murder was occurring. one time, shittykawa screeched so loud, they got a noise complaint -_- hajime hates it in these streets.

matsukawa issei & hanamaki takahiro- conspiracy!! issei and hiro have a secret blog where they discuss conspiracy theories and such but one day, hiro found an article that explained how jfk’s death was an inside job. he sent it to issei who began to theorize how HE’D do it. that devolved into a massive thread on their blog of how’d they murder a president which blew up and caught the attention of the cia who sent the a letter telling them to quietly delete the blog. they did because they were terrified but they kept the letter and now it’s framed in issei’s apartment.

kyōtani kentarō- assault!! baby is an angry little boy but for all the right reasons. he was at a bar (when he’s all grown up, duh) and he spotted an absolute drunk creep hitting on a girl who clearlyyyy did not reciprocate his feelings. kyōtani, being the respectful king that he is, went over to the guy, pulled him by the jacket and beat. the. shit. out of him. while the bartender was happy with the fact that the creep was out, he was not impressed with the damage to his bar. he just sent kyōtani out who casually adjusted his leather jacket and rings, and hopped on his motorcycle to ride away into the night. i am the FATTEST simp for this man ONG 🥴

shiratorizawa

ushijima wakatoshi- stalking!! poor ushijima has no idea how intimidating he can be. he was on a train late at night after practice and the woman sitting across from him left her purse sitting on the seat. being the gentleman that he is, he took the purse and followed her to return it. the only problem is that the closer he got, the faster she ran and when he tried to speak (yknow with his scary, deep, baritone voice), the woman screeched and called the cops on him because he was a “strange, big man who was following her home.” when the police showed up, ushijima was painfully confused and just held up this tiny ass purse in his massive hands. the cops laughed.

tendō satori- ???!! no one knows what crimes (or how many 😳) tendō has committed but each of his teammates have different ideas- ushijima: “i don’t believe tendou is capable of committing any sort of felony. well, maybe murder”; semi: “of COURSE he’s capable of crimes??! do you know how many times i’ve seen him come into the dorm with a suspicious stain of red on his sweater?? *shudders* if i end up dead, tendō did it...” in actuality, the only crime tendō has committed is ~drugs~ but he’s not bouta tell his friends that.

goshiki tsutomu- would be a VICTIM!! my baby tsutomu would NEVER commit a crime!!! i love this man with my everything and the only crime he’s committed is being too damn cute 😤🥺

[plus-size-reader]

Detective Work

Stu Macher x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1218 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Stu’s gf getting really freaked out about the murders, to the point where he has to prove to her that she’ll be safe.

I decided to leave this open ended for now. Comment to let me know how you would react in this situation and that will help influence the reader’s actions in the second part. 

——————————————————————————————————

You had been on edge ever since they found Casey Becker all strung up in that tree.

No one could really blame you for that, but that didn’t stop Stu from making a joke out of it every chance he got. He thought the whole thing was hilarious, from the stupid curfew to the strange way everyone was acting.

It was like a game.

However, you just didn’t see the humor in it like he did.

You didn’t think that the chance of being gutted, or stabbed or whatever was something to laugh about. You were terrified, and Stu laughing at you wasn’t going to change that.

“I don’t know, what if it’s someone we’re close to? What if it was someone like Billy?” you reasoned, gesturing over to your friend as some kind of example.

You didn’t really think it was him but he was right there and he made for a good scapegoat for this conversation. No one knew who the killer was, and in a small town, there was a good chance you’d met whoever it was before.

Though, rather than move on from what you were suggesting, Stu laughed again. “Why would he want to kill his own girlfriend?” you had no idea, not really but it did get you thinking.

Whoever committing all these murders had to have a reason. They had to be justifying it to themselves somehow, and that was even more terrifying.

“Shit Stu, I don’t know...what would you want to kill me for?” you wondered, shooting out the hypothetical in hopes that it would somehow help you figure it out.

For all you knew, Stu could be a killer.

...Nah.

You would have known if the man you loved had a secret hobby that just happened to be murder...right?

You hoped that you would.

“I wouldn’t kill you. We have too good of a time together” he grinned, as if that was the only thing keeping him from doing it.

Great, another one of his jokes.

“I’m being serious Stu, I’m scared” you groaned, reaching over the shelf to hit him lightly in the shoulder. You had no idea what he was doing, but this was serious.

Not everything could be a little joke like he tried to make it out to be.

People were dying, and they weren’t going to stop until the cops actually figured out who was doing this.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But you don’t have to be scared, I got you baby” he assured, this time something different in his eyes. It was a seriousness, a strange confidence that actually did something to help.

As odd as it sounded, you didn’t doubt that Stu could protect you if he had to...not that you ever wanted to have to find out if that was the case or not.

“Thanks, oh-did you remember the chip dip for the party tonight?” you wondered, unsure if he’d grabbed it when you were at the store. The whole thing had been his idea, and as much as you hated it, you knew that you were safer in Stu’s house than you would be alone in your own so you went along with it.

Not that you wanted to really go to a party right now.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. You’re so stressed” he tutted, running his hands over your shoulders to find the muscles there much more tight than they’d ever been before.

You took a deep breath, doing your best to do as he suggested, though you were finding even the simplest of tasks much more difficult than they should have been.

You couldn’t even focus with this intense dread in the air, and the fact that Stu was just being Stu didn’t really do much to help.

His sense of humor and personality were one of the things you loved most about him but you were fully going to lose your mind if he didn’t start trying to be a grown up about it.

People were getting slaughtered, and if you weren't careful, you two could have been on the chopping block.

“Well, it’s not like I don’t have a good reason” you groaned, letting your head roll back as he poked and prodded at the knot in your neck.

You just couldn’t relax, but this wasn’t one of those times that you pushed yourself to a near panic attack over a bad grade on a test or a parking ticket.

This was real life and you were all in danger.

In fact, Stu seemed to be the only person not at all phased by the inevitable doom of this town.

Maybe that should have worried you. Maybe if you would have been paying closer attention in the first place, you would have figured this all out but because you hadn’t been and because you had blind faith in the man you loved, you just hadn’t.

In all fairness though, you didn’t think that you’d ever be having this conversation.

“What did you just say?” you repeated, feeling like in this moment, your heart was liable to beat out of your chest. You had been so in your head, the words that just escaped his lips had only slightly registered.

Stu only shrugged, clearly not understanding why you had your panties in a bunch over this. “I said, you don’t have to worry about it because I know who killed them”

It was so nonchalant, so casual that you almost felt sick to your stomach. How could he know something like that? Why did he know something like that? You had no idea.

...But you weren’t going to get yourself too worked up.

After all, you were sure that this was just another one of Stu’s sick jokes that he pushed a little too far. Sometimes he read the room wrong, and this had to be one of those times.

There was no way that he actually knew who the killer was.

“That isn’t funny, Stu” you scolded, batting him in the arm as aggressively as you could without actually hurting him. You couldn’t believe that he was joking about that. People were dying, and you couldn't believe that he would even venture to suggest that.

You were scared for a very real reason, and he thought it was okay to try and lull you into comfort by suggesting he spent his free time with literal murderers? It was far from funny

Still, Stu didn’t even budge.

He had nothing to hide from you, as far as he was concerned. If anything his biggest mistake was keeping this from you in the first place. If he had told you sooner, you wouldn’t be as worried as you clearly were right now.

It would have been much better if he was more considerate of your feelings from the beginning.

“I’m not kidding Y/N, I know who’s killing them” he repeated, now completely serious, his face straight and stoic.

...Shit.

He was telling you the truth, and now you were in too deep to back out. Assuming that Stu knew exactly who was doing this, why did he keep it to himself?

That was horrible.

You knew that much was true, but the one thing you didn’t know was where to go from here.

[erizee]

diversity win! local nerd accidentally writes a 855 word letterboxd review for jigsaw (2017). oops lol

anyway here it is

its a good movie! its just not a good saw movie my enjoyment rating gets so messy because of that because i Did enjoy the movie on its own (aka 3-3.5 stars), but i hate it as a saw movie (0.5-1.5 stars) so i guess that makes it a 2. i think thats fair.

this review is 855 words long lmao i have THOUGHTS about this

things i like about this movie - the MUSIC yea thats saw. charlie clouser never misses - its saw so thats a plus either way - i like anna in theory i think shes a fun main trap-storyline-character - the concept of a jigsaw fanclub is sooo on brand lol i wish they would have connected that to the jigsaw survivor group or even better, introduced the fanclub TOGETHER with the survivor group in 3d already but this is a nice start anyway - the fact that jills family had a pig farm where they had an outbreak of some pig disease aka they had to get rid of the pigs explains where they got the pigs for the pig vat - 2 big slidey doors get slided shut :) like in the bathroom :) - "jigsaw lives forever in the works of his followers" is a Great line and it should have come from an apprentice instead of the fanclub. "you have a choice. scream or dont" is also funny and on brand for the saw-typical "jigsaw apprentices dont follow any of jigsaws rules" and i think thats funny :)

things i dont like about this movie - zero connection to the previous movies which sucks because those connections are one of my favourite things about saw. literally all they do is bring in tobin bell, mention jill once and thats it :( i get that they wanted to restart it all & make money off a new series or whatever but a) clearly that didnt work out and b) the least they could do was mention more characters. wheres lawrence :( he never got caught they could have done so much with him. and the way the one pighead we see p much wears hoffmans outfit and yet he doesnt even get mentioned DESPITE THE FACT that this movie is about corrupt cops (not as well done as other saw movies did it but still. spiral gets a pass for this because its just better in general). disappointing - it also doesnt fit into the timeline at allllll it fucking sucks, i spend so much time thinking about the saw timeline and making sense of it based on complete bullshit hints lmao and it does all makes sense! but this movie just doesnt give a fuck about any of it apparently. the flashback with the mislabeling shows a brain tumor but it started as COLON CANCER (which lawrence mentions in saw i). why does eleanor have The Saw if clearly no one ever found the bathroom. theres no way the first trap john ever made was a huge group trap thats bullshit. im fully aware im the only one that cares about this but still it bothers me lol - logans backstory makes ZERO sense and john is soooo ooc in this movie. hed never let someone survive because it was "an honest mistake" lmao. that man put people into traps for depression and for mourning their dead child before like. sure sometimes he tests actual bad people but for the most part hes just a self righteous and bitter old man. its so out of character i genuinely dont concider this movie canon (that plus how the timeline doesnt make sense) - they tried to fit logan into the previous timeline and it COULD have worked! hoffmans flashbacks in v worked and they could have done sth similar here! but they didnt and because theres no sequel to it they didnt fix it either. where was logan during the other movies? did he retire from being an apprentice or what. lmao. - stupid boring traps that dont make sense. i like the reverse boom stick but thats it the rest is lame. theres practically no cool machines and BARELY any gore or at least fake blood :( come on this is saw. we need gallons of fake blood in these movies. i also have no proof for this but i think they used less practical effects than before too - the plot twist is that john is dead which. yea no shit lmao thats not as creative of a plot twist as you think. he literally got neck-sawed to death in the THIRD movie. - nothing looks dirty enough AND theres no weird green/blue/red filter on anything. sucks. - it feels soooo hollow - they rly chickened out by making eleanor a fan of jigsaw without letting her actually be Evil. she doesnt have to be an apprentice just there should have been more - WHY did he not say game over. im disappointed

anyway yea. good movie. not a good saw movie though and that makes this wayyyyy less enjoyable than it deserves to be.

[kareofbears]

persona 5 strikers thoughts and feelings

This is going to be a long post. Like, the type of post you’d only really have time to read when you’re trying to sleep but you’re not ready to be unconscious yet so you’re just looking for something to do to spend your time with minimal effort. 

So in 2018, a masterpiece was born into the world: Into the Spider-verse was released and it was amazing—it’s honestly the best spiderman movie we have without a doubt, and it’ll be very far into the future before Spider-verse is beaten as the best spiderman movie. Them’s the facts. Then in 2019, Spider-man: Far From Home was dropped. It’s a great movie! Great characters, great continuation of who these characters are and works fantastic as a continuation of a story. It’s really hard trying to take the torch of a previous movie (or in Marvel’s case, juggling twenty something movies) and come up with a new movie that both works on its own, as well as being the next step in this series of films. Thus, with that idea in mind, I think it’s kind of unfair to judge into the spiderverse and far from home, because these are two movies with two completely different objectives in mind. 

Okay, so this is still a persona 5 strikers post, I promise, but the idea is the same: Persona 5 could basically do whatever it wanted—new story, new characters, new everything, and it’s just plain old awesome. However, Persona 5 strikers did not have that sort of freedom. It was bound to the original game, and it had its own rules and stuff it had to keep intact, characters they had to work with, and on top of that, it had to justify its existence as a sequel (lets pretend money doesnt exist lmfao). 

SO, the big question is: did it do that? Did it justify its existence? 

And my answer: holy fuck did it ever do that

I came into this game knowing the extreme bare minimum. I knew there was someone named Sophia, and i knew there was roadtrip, and i knew there were Personas. That’s my knowledge of it before i played it on the Switch.  I should also clarify like, early on, that i was not expecting anything from this game. At all. I was the world’s biggest cynic of this game—if you scroll down my p5s tag far enough, youll just see me complaining about a game that hasn’t even come out yet. I was fully expecting to have this be a Waifu show, and any male character that isn’t Akira to just be shoved aside like some kind of nerd in a high school hallway, and i have never been more pleased to be wrong. In fact, i actually owe it an apology, because of how fucking rude i was for no reason!!! Because this game deserves everything to be honest. 

Persona 5 strikers is, frankly, insane. Insane in the sense that it got to pull shit off that just would never have existed in the original game, because the original game is scared. It had to be as impressive as possible and garner as much attention as possible. Strikers does not have that problem—every single person who bought that game does not need to be convinced that persona 5 is a good game. They already played it. That means Atlus can just fuck around and have a good time, and man did they have a good time. There’s still scenes that still shock me if i think about it too hard, because i’m used to atlus having to follow this sort of rule set when it comes to persona 5 (or any of the main games im assuming, but i havent played them.) And on top of that, there’s still shit that’s Atlus Trademarked Branded in a good way. The style of story of story telling, and revealing the mystery that is so integral to what p5 is, is still there. 

So, to make this even a little bit comprehensible, i will make a list! 

First of all, What is this game?

In short, this game is an OVA of an anime. It’s bonus side content that has one thing in mind: to showcase these lovable characters more by putting them in fun situations. That’s it, and it is just phenomenal. That was the main point of, i’d say, like forty hours of the game. It’s just fun times with fun characters. 

But to get deeper of what i think is happening, or what they were thinking during the development, is that this is a second opportunity. Persona 5 (as we all know) had a lot of problems, and we were not quiet about those problems. We yelled it all out, made posts, made complaints on every social media platform ever. And Atlus heard all of them, and Strikers is a way to mitigate those mistakes. Aside from being a fun OVA, Strikers also works to be a deeper exploration of these characters—more specifically, the characters that did not receive much in the original game. Creating this sequel is having the ability to redo what they felt (or to be more specific, we felt) in the original game while adding new ones. I will get to that in a second.  

The format of the game 

Absolutely brilliant to throw them on a road trip. P5V already forced us to experience Shibuya for 200+ hours, and im so glad that they didn’t do that again. Going from town to town, making us experience these new places alongside our favorite characters is so good, and it just makes sense. It’s fun, it’s lighthearted, and it’s actually shockingly good. But one thing i do want to talk about early on is the way the story unfolds and the villains that they use, and what they do with it because it’s very interesting. 

So as we explore japan and stuff, we encounter jails, and with those jails comes an antagonist. This antagonist works to be a parallel to one of our characters. That character will find it in their hearts to feel bad for the antagonist, because the antagonist could have been them had the original game not happen. At first I thought all of the thieves were gonna get an antagonist, and i was really hyped for the ryuji one. And then came to hour forty of the game where i realized “yeah that’s not gonna happen. There’s just not enough time.” And i was right, and the game ended. But i am not salty at all, honestly, because the people who got a direct antagonist were: Ann, Yusuke, and Haru. (we wont count zen and sophie). 

Is there a trend??? Yes. these are all characters in the original game that have received the worst treatment by atlus. The three of them are basically cast aside the minute they finished their original arc, and its horrible! BUT that’s why this is the path that atlus chose for them—to give them more depth, and screentime, and a way to show their inner self. That isn’t to say that the ones who aren’t those three (makoto, futaba, mona, akira, ryuji) didn’t get anything. Futaba still has her thing at the end with ichinose, and she was very prevalent and animated during the rest of the game. Mona and Akira have to be a focal points, that’s just the nature of the game. The other two though, I will talk about in depth in a second.  

Makoto

Y’all i poke fun at shumako fans sometimes cause its kind of easy and fun, but i honestly love makoto. In my very first playthrough of p5 (my first ever jrpg game, first persona game, i had no idea what i was doing), i had only maxed out two characters: ryuji and makoto. And i know she had a lot of screentime and love in the original game which is great, but i truly felt like she was dissed in this game. Her only roles were

A driver

Someone to tell them “we don’t have a choice. Let’s keep going and see where this takes us.” (seriously, if you replay this game, you will see how much she does this)

Idk, i just wish she had more to do, especially compared to how much love they gave the other characters. 

But let’s talk about some of the new characters! 

Zenkichi

Damn you atlus. Damn you and your insistence at bringing in cop characters. I was fully on board with hating zenkichi, i was fucking ready for it. I was convinced that there was nothing they could do convince to like zenkichi. I was immune to their copaganda. 

And then i ended up loving him, which makes me sad a little bit. I didn’t realize how desperate i was to have an adult who has a persona. Someone who wants the world to change just as much as they do, while still having that aspect of them that makes them adult. Like??? As someone who is technically an adult, its a breath of fresh air. An adult. Who fights. For justice. Using a persona. And god i love akane so much, and her obsession with the thieves (that scene is probably in my top ten fave scenes of the game). Also what i loved about zenkichi is that he fucking hates the cops!! He hates the system of the cops!! And thats why i actually really started to love him!! Because i thought it was atlus saying that the systematic problem of the police cannot be solved by one person, and zenkichi threw away his badge. I actually cried at that part!! 

But then he became a cop again, and i was just :/ but as a character, i really love him to bits and would love to do a study on him, or at least use him as an outside pov. But! i absolutely love his persona, since im a les miserables fan hehe

Sophia 

she’s probably my favorite new aspect of the game. I was ready to not like her—again, i just suck like that, lmfao—and when i saw her, i was scared that she was just another waifu. I mean, she was very cute after all. But then as the game went on, i thought she was a little too cute. And even further into the game, i finally slapped myself in the face and realized oh my god shes not a waifu. Shes a sister. 

That blew my mind, im ngl to you. A female character that isn’t supposed to be romanced? By jove, what a miracle! 

And she…is an amazing character. Im sorry, i just love her so much. I love her so much that she  probably ranks as my fifth or sixth favorite character which is surprising even to me. Everything about her is delightful and invigorating. She’s funny??? Her comedic timing is amazing, and she has such chemistry with the rest of the team. She’s actually useful to the plot, and while her character design is a little too on the nose for me in terms of cuteness (i mean, good god she’s wearing oversized sweater to show how cute and tiny she is, and her hair has literal hearts in it), she is absolutely lovable. 

But what i actually really wanna gush about for a second is sophia at the last stage of the game. You get the idea, i dont really like to get excited over things, so at this point i figured that there was nothing this game could do to shock me. 

And then sophia had a persona awakening. 

Like. holy fuck did i yell. I didnt realize what was happening until the music had already kicked in. and its just so fucking smart!!! Sophia??? The ai?? With no heart?? gOT A PERSONA???? AWAKENING??? BECAUSE SHE LEARNED WHAT THE HEART IS AND THE PASSION THAT YOU NEED IN ORDER TO GET A PERSONA??? I started crying honestly, because it was just so smart. And looking back on it now, its obvious!! Of course it would lead to this, it only made sense that the culmination of her character arc leads to her getting a persona, nothing else would have been as good. Also, her voice actor is just amazing?? When she was talking to ichinose at the end, i actually got incredibly emotional because of the line reads. Its just so spot on and it really captures the essence of sophia.

Muah. five stars Atlus. You got me. 

Ryuji <3!!!!

Oh man. Oh boy. Okay. so where do i start. 

Yall know i love him. Hes probably my favorite fictional male character of all time, and he is the one i was the absolute most cynical about in this game. I was expecting literally nothing. Nothing. Like. nothing. I thought he was just gonna keep being used as a joke, or a gag, and he’s gonna be super horny all the time for the other girls and it was gonna make me mad and there was gonna be some insane homophobic/queerphobic jokes in every other scene and i know i was being unfair, but i cant help it. 

And then i played the first two hours of the game, and i cried the entire time. Because ryuji has never been better than he is in this game. Its crazy. 

The ryuji in persona 5 strikers is who ryuji should have been/how he should have been treated this entire time. From the actual funny jokes (for example, the gold bar joke + his reaction to it in the beginning of the game), defending his female friends instead of being the one people need to defend from (natsume arc), and the fact that he was the one to be there with morgana and akira in the very beginning of the game. Its such a small thing that they didnt even need to do, but it was such an integral part of the original game for me, that i just was convinced that nothing like this was going to happen. But then it happened. Its just small stuff like that that could have been overlooked but it wasn’t because this game? Persona 5 strikers? Fucking loves ryuji. 

The actual respect they gave this boy is insane and i wasn't ready for it. Like, they gave the shujin trio lunch, they gave the little charm of the katana when they were in natsume’s jail, and, in my opinion this is the second-best thing that they could have given ryuji is sophia. Ryuji and sophia are the pinnacle of a brother & sister bonding relationship in the game that isn’t akira & futaba. And its really prevalent too?? Small stuff from the beginning of the game (pulling her out of a jail, calling her shorty), but then you have the iconic “shut the fuck up” scene, and that scene was so well characterized and written and voice acted, that somehow him saying “fuck” was the least exciting part of that scene to me. Ryuji is an older brother to her, like its undoubtable, and its only further cemented at the end of the game where Ryuji helps out ichinose because he knows how much sophia cares about her. This game. Love ryuji. And i love. This game. 

You know what else i love? Akiryu. 

Guys. i was fully prepared to starve in terms of akiryu. But theres just. So much of it. I wont get too deep into it, because i think this aspect of the game for me still needs marinate a little bit. Like, what was that last shot when EMMA died and Ryuji walked to approach Akira so they could relish in their victory together?? And the smile from both of them??? What the fuck. That was amazing. Also Joker being saved by Ryuji when he was about to fall from the cliff to save sophia??? WHAT. The LEADER AND HIS RIGHT HAND MAN? WHAT. anyway. If theres anything i want to keep for myself in my own brain, its the akiryu aspect of this game, so i wont talk too much about that part of things (instead, itll probably manifest in fic lmfaooo). 

Sure, there’s tidbits of stuff i dont like that they gave ryuji: sexualizing ann in that one cut scene and making him touch the jails even though it hurts, and i recognize those and frown at them, but for the most part, i am blown away with how they treated him.

Basically, Ryuji has never been better. From the opening of the game with him being the first text message and the one to sling his arm around akira, to the very last cut scene where it was ryuji wordlessly leaving because he’s so confident that they would never be separated for long, this game adores Ryuji and i am so so happy to say that.

The Royal aspect of things

Yeah, i had to talk about this, but itll be a short thing i just wanted to point out. Because the last part of this game...is persona 5 royal. Which is curious. Like taking reality and giving that power to someone else so you dont have to experience suffering anymore? And even like, the final section just looked a lot like the top half of maruki’s palace?? And whats even crazier is that we had a boss fight with sophia, just like how we had a boss fight with sumire? Royal and Strikers have like, the same thesis statement. It’s kind of uncanny.It’s interesting, it’s like atlus came up with these two ideas, and then just decided they liked both of them so much that they just did it twice. I don’t mind though—actually, in terms of how the last Palace/Jails go, i probably like them both about equally. 

Though i did love the final battle in this one more than i did in royal. Splitting into teams?? Thats cool as fuck, and really innovative and i didnt see it coming. It also kicked my ass. A lot. 

Now for the last stretch: the small stuff!

The music — bomb as fuck. In my heart, Daredevil is ranked the same as Rivers. Axe to grind is also amazing, but Daredevil owns me

Akechi — i really debated whether or not to talk about him, but i figured a bullet point should be enough. Im really shocked that he wasnt in this at all. Like not even a name drop. If this is an OVA, and the point of the game is to please the fans, and akechi is arguably the fan favorite character, i was really ready for something. But there was nothing, except for the pancake hallway if that even counts as a reference. Thats it. Thats all i wanted to say about him.

The humour — FUCKING HILARIOUS im convinced that in my fifty hour playtime, five of that is dedicated to me laughing and unable to continue the game 

Akira — so much personality! His lines of dialogue are crazy sometimes (like. Whats up with him saying Ryuji has ‘nice abs’ when they were in bath? Im crazy and even i dont know what the fuck that could mean) 

Battle system — oh my god i almost forgot to talk about this. I love it! I kind of miss the turn based aspect just because i found it very comforting for some reason, but this hack and slash style of gameplay is so invigorating because i do feel like it justifies shit like the baton pass and huge attacks.  This battle system fully encompases how the Phantom Thieves are supposed to fight, you know what i mean?

Anyway, thats my thoughts on strikers. Loved it. Amazing. 9.3/10, wouldve been higher but Konoe’s Jail almost bored me to death. Also im a monster and i didnt do any requests that isn’t a fun one, teehee. As if i play persona 5 for the persona aspect of things.

[kannra21]

Dating Hoshino Ryo

At first he's completely aloof, similar to Daisuke in a way but different motives. He's very dedicated to his job, it's one of the things that brings him happiness and pride. When he decides to completely indulge himself in something he's doing it earnestly. He's also not a risk taker, he's the type who's constantly worrying about things. Perfectionist of sorts? He just wants everything he puts his mind on to be as good as it possibly can. That's why he's actively trying to avoid love matters since he's so busy with making his life work nicely for him. Person like him looks cold from the outside but in reality he has a big heart. He looks up to his sempai and respects his superiors.

When you appear in his life he'll be formal, as usual, until you make a move on him bc otherwise he won't take the initiative. It's too risky for his heart. It'd be even more difficult if you were his colleague because colleagues dating within the same unit is against the rules. If this happens, the couple is given the choice to either end their relationship or one of them would have to leave the MPD which is lowkey giving him a heart attack.

He's afraid bc when he falls for someone he falls too hard and does reckless things, he hates this side of himself. Will pin you to a wall behind their common workplace at the station and kiss you all over. He's passionate and soft and slow and sensual. He can't think straight, it's just the way you make him feel. Your colleagues often wonder why you come out of the corner looking all disheveled. He's fixing his tie and his well-put hair is now looking messier (and hotter but you're not supposed to say this aloud).

Is putting extra effort in his looks, in his free time he's dressing in oversized shirts, sweaters, cuffed and cargo pants, and all that jazz. You're teasing him ab it but he doesn't mind it bc he knows that you find it hot. Will always be expecting you with a small surprise such as bouquet of flowers or sweets, he's a big romantic. Will slowly dance with you in the middle of the room while following the rhythm of the music. He never shows this side of himself to anyone, only to you. It's the way he's showing you his trust in you.

He's overly protective of you and although he doesn't want to admit, he's a little possessive. If someone's raising their voice at you during work, he switches from "calm reserved Ryo" to "angry boyfriend Ryo" and puts himself in front of you to have a "little chat" with whoever you're having problems with. Everyone notices the change in personality but pretend they didn't see because they knew how much you meant to Hoshino. They were all good friends in MPD, they didn't want to hold grudges against each other.

When you're sent on missions he always makes sure to give you lower-risk tasks, he's always looking after you and going extra mile to ensure the completion of your work. His colleagues think he's wasting time bc he used to work more efficiently before his obsession with you and him pampering you. He's trying to convince them otherwise but no one believes him. It's a running joke between your colleagues.

There were times when you saw him utterly devastated such as when Haru refused to work with him and went with Daisuke to England. He was sitting on the bed holding his head in his hands grieving. He blamed himself for being such an ass towards him and he hated himself. You didn't like to see him like this since you knew how much he looked up to Haru and you wanted to call him to give him a lecture but he begged you not to do it. Too late, you already tapped the "call" option and he panicked. Not knowing what to do, he kissed you and continued making out with you and you could hear Haru's voice on the other line "Hey y/n, what's up?... Hello?... Mby she called by mistake.", he hang up. Hoshino was never rly encouraged to prolong his kisses but this was urgent and once you parted you couldn't help yourself but to be amazed. This turned into something more later in the day.

When he's in mood he gets clingy, hugs you behind your back and kisses your neck and ears. He whispers the most beautiful of praises and encouragements. Sweet talk is his thing and he's showing you just how much he loves and appreciates you. Sometimes it brings you to tears because no one ever loved you like this before. He's feeding your heart with so much positivity and he's genuinely happy to have this effect on you. He kisses your forehead, tells you that you're his beautiful angel and that he'll protect you from everything in this world. You're convinced in his words because of how overprotective he acted towards you when at work.

If you're the later shift you'll arrive home greeted by rose petals on the floor leading to a certain room. You're getting all blushy bc you can already assume where this is going. You enter the bedroom and see bed covered in rose petals, candles on furniture and silent music playing in the background. He gets out of the bathroom in only a towel and he's surprised to see you arriving a little earlier than expected. You just jump on him, kiss him and you make out like there's no tomorrow.

He likes long walks, his favorite is taking you on the beach during a sunset. He'd listen to you talking like this forever and the landscape looks truly amazing. If you get a little playful, you'll spray him with water and he'll scold you like a worried bf he is bc he can't allow himself to let you get a cold. He always worries about things and you're assuring him that everything is fine. Night looks beautiful and the starry night sky gives the whole ambience a completely new meaning. You can't take your eyes off of the stunning view and he's hugging you closer to himself, in moments like this he'll tell you that you mean the entire world to him and he'll keep you warm or buy you smtng to eat. He's spoiling you so much and you're the luckiest girl alive. You never ask for much, you're modest but this won't stop him from trying to meet your expectations and getting your approval.

Of course, there are times when he gets extra wary when you're talking to other guys. He's not questioning your loyalty, he's worried of them making a move on you and the sole thought of it fills his heart with rage. He can be an asshole sometimes when he's having his doubts and you need to tell him to calm down bc he's making everyone uncomfortable. He apologizes, but only to you because he feels like he doesn't owe them anything, he's this stubborn.

Sometimes he brings up stupid topics while lying in bed with you before sleep like fear of losing you one day bc your job is too dangerous and his mind gets clouded with dark thoughts. That's why he's so afraid of getting too attached to someone, if he loses you he'll lose himself and before he continues ranting any further you take his hand in yours and lean your forehead on his. You tell him that nothing will ever happen to you as long as you're with him and that's enough to make him calm again.

He's not exactly skilled at cooking so he appreciates it v much when you teach him certain things. He's not lazing around, he's listening to you rly carefully and taking notes on important things you tell him. You reward him with a peck and he gets cuddly. You still can't believe that such a softie works as a police officer. You ask him what motivated him to choose this job and he said that he looked up to his dad a lot. His dad was one of the highest ranked men in their department and he died protecting other people. He was a literal hero and many remember his name till this day. Therefore, out of respect and in memory of his dad, he decided to become a cop as well. Besides, he always wanted to be someone's hero and he finally found someone who could make it all happen.

When he gets stomach ache you offer to massage him and although he refuses bc he doesn't want to bother you, you do it anyway and he melts into your touch. It's not like you mind it since his body is slightly toned and you need to contain yourself because he's so handsome and yet you need to concentrate on his pain. You take such good care of him, he gets goosebumps and is so grateful. He wants to return the favor somehow but there's no need to bc of how mindful he constantly is of you and he loves you so much. His heart is full and he always has that dreamy look whenever he spends time with you. He loves it when he puts his head on your lap and you caress his hair and face. Your hands are soft and warm and he's in bliss. He hums and feels so much better with your treatment. You scratch his scalp and he buries his face in your belly. He's lying turned to the side on purpose so you couldn't see certain things but you notice from how his back is slightly hunched and you just know. No one can make him feel this way the way you do.

When the crew is traveling by a police van there's a possibility that there won't be enough space for everyone to sit in so Hoshino will stand up for you to occupy his seat but you sit on his lap instead and everyone is looking at you. Hoshino is blushing and whispering in your ear that this wasn't such a good idea but you continued talking about how the van is too small and criticized it's lack of equipment. During patrols he's sharing his food with you if you didn't have enough and if you get hurt he'll always help you out or even carry you. Your colleagues already knew what's going on between you two but they decided not to tell boss. They found you lovely and gave you their full support.

On the other hand, they're teasing Hoshino because he always supported the idea that work should be done with seriousness and dedication. He's blushing and telling them that he's trying to be as professional as possible. Their colleagues appreciate the more relaxed and humanistic Ryo rather than the workaholic one they all got used to. They talk casually with him and ask him some love advice but then he gets angry and tells them to go back to work. Noup, nothing changed. Workaholic Ryo is still present, he just accidentally showed them his new side, that's all.

He's the one who doesn't appreciate theme parks and crazy rides but he'll go with you if you really want to. He never really talked about this before but he's afraid of heights. He thinks he's a party breaker but you actually don't take him to ferris wheels or roller coasters. You take him to everywhere else like water rides, bumper cars and he's absolutely in love with shooting games at the stalls where he can win you a toy. You stayed at the arcade section for at least two hours. You had so much fun that day and no one felt sick on top of it.

Haru found out about you two eventually and teased you bc he claimed how he knew this entire time. He's so happy for you and he's congratulating you. Daisuke isn't interested whatsoever but he decided to mess with Hoshino a little bc he can and bc he's a millionaire bastard. He invited you to his high-end restaurant for his top-noch first-class dinner to test if you were docile and if your relationship was real. Daisuke couldn't care less about your preferences, he just wanted to see Hoshino's reaction. You politely declined and Hoshino became dangerously serious which surprised even Haru, he never saw him this angry before. Haru concerningly asked Daisuke if he went completely insane and he just said that he got his confirmation. He turned around, entered his expensive car and Hoshino couldn't believe the audacity of this guy. Haru just shrugged and said "it's Kambe".

You want to take him to a karaoke night and you're being so enthusiastic ab it but he's shy, he doesn't want to embarrass himself in front of everyone else and especially in front of you. You somehow manage to convince him and you came to the bar. When he starts singing you realize that he's actually good at it. You tease him that he's a man of many talents, he's flattered and tells you that you're not so bad yourself. Now you're trying to persuade him to wake you up every morning with his nice singling and he gets soft just by thinking ab it. You really are his angel and more.

He really enjoys cuddling with you in a blanket while watching a movie and snacking on something at night. Whoever falls asleep on the couch first gets covered in the said blanket, gets a pillow tucked under their head and the other goes to their bedroom. Hoshino will carry you only if he feels like it, besides, he doesn't want to disturb your sleep. He'll make sure you get properly covered before leaving.

He loves baths with you bc they're rare. He always takes a quick shower before work and making time for you to do something like this is super relaxing for him. He'll scrub your back, smear the foam everywhere and it's the best feeling ever. You'll do the same for him and massage his scalp, he's living for it. After a tiresome day at work he's definitely looking forward to things like this. He's kissing your shoulder and you're surprised. You make out and you need to keep it down so you wouldn't overflow the bathroom floor. It's funny to you how he doesn't find sharing a bed with you sexual while he does sharing a bath. He says it's bc you're naked at the moment and you say that he could as well just take your pjs off, that there's no real difference. He's all flushed bc he can't find the appropriate answer and you laugh.

However, he does get hot and bothered when you're testing his limits. He'll dominate whatever happens from this moment on but if you insist on taking the lead, he'll let you. You don't know how he knows certain things and you suspected that he had girlfriends before, you're jealous and he told you that he's actually just well-informed. You're so smug at the moment and he's replacing this expression of yours with a new one full of want. He's passionate and mindful and he's completely weak to your own happiness. He could entertain you like this for hours and he's v open to conversation and exploration of what you want. He's v loving and caring and you can't get enough, it's like an addiction.

He'll drive you to work and many already noticed that you come together most of the time. Your colleagues are being dorky and calling you a "cople", you're blushing and he tells them to go back to work, he secretly enjoys their teasing.

He kisses your cheek while you were typing something on your laptop. Boss saw it, you panicked and Hoshino said that he wished you a happy birthday. Boss noted that it was, indeed, not your birthday and that he knew through your resume. Hoshino replied that he has mistaken the dates and you laughed. Boss huffed in amusement, you two were so obvious that even the blind could tell. He allowed you to be with each other as long as you're not doing lovey-dovey things at work, you were good assets to his team so he didn't want to lose you. Hoshino's eyes were basically shining and you were glad. He was so pessimistic ab the outcome of this possible situation but now he's grateful and he cherished your relationship even more.

It's his birthday and you surprise him by dressing as a sexy cop. You say kinky stuff like bad boys going to jail but he's such a good boy and the joke is literally useless, you make him laugh tho. He suggested to play bad cop good criminal scenario so he took your handcuffs and used them on you. Now he can't see you the same way during work anymore. It was the best birthday gift.

He takes you to a little trip at the botanic garden and it's so amazing there, being surrounded by such beauty is a wonderful experience. You sit at the bench and feed the swans in the lake. You have no idea how Ryo comes up with ideas like this but he never ceases to surprise you. Every day is something new with this guy and it's always a positive thing. He knows how to make you relax after a stressful day at work and he makes you smile when everything seems like it's falling apart. You tell him you love him, it comes out of nowhere and he's just so happy. He wants to make you feel like this all the time. Only then does he know that he's succeeding as a boyfriend and making sure that you end up with someone who actually deserves you.

You wake up the next morning, head towards the kitchen and notice that something smells rly nice. Was Hoshino cooking? You take a look and sure enough, he was making a breakfast for you two. You approach him and kiss his cheek, telling him good morning. He reduced the fire, picked you up and seated you on the counter. He kisses you and tells you good morning as well. At one moment he looks insecure and you ask him what's up. He says things like you being the key ingredient for spicing up his world and he's covering his face from how cheesy and stupid it sounds. Hoshino trying out cooking jokes was hilarious but you're so in love with him and you kiss him and say smtng cheesy in return to make him feel better. You take a taste of his food and it's great, you love it. You feed each other and he looks so adorable when he's munching on it.

When he's sick you find it hard to leave him by himself since you want to help him as much as you possibly can and he's telling you not to do it bc he'll spread it on you. You don't listen, partly bc he's just as same and would rather spend time taking care of you than doing anything else. The boss knows in advance and is already counting on backup whenever something like this happens. You don't need to inform him, it's already clear to him that whenever one of you gets sick, the other will soon follow.

He takes you to hanabi festival, you're dressed in yukatas and watch beautiful fireworks in the distance, it's one of the most amazing sights to see. He gets down and you squeal bc YES it's finally happening! You've waited for this moment in so long. He apologizes, his napkin just fell and you're disappointed like never before. "By the way" he says as he's reaching for a small square box in his pocket, you squeal again and he opens it, revealing an elegant-looking ring tucked in puffy inserts. He asks if you want to marry him and you shout the long expected "yes", you're hugging and crying and he can't believe his own eyes, he became the luckiest guy in the world.

@narcopharmacist These are the HCs I was talking ab. Hope you like it. ^^

[angelofthequeers]

hi! So I have being thinking (or observing) lately, how people prefer lu//ka over ni//no (I mean lu//ka is shoved everywhere but thats not the point). Like lu//ka is praised for being chill, akumatized for someone else, being 'musical', protective, etc (honestly ni//no has more qualities unlike... Yeah). And it just bothers me so much idk. I mean pocs are always side eyed in favour of white characters that's not new but I guess the is-ni//no-actually-lu//ka (though a v fun crack idea) (1/n)

Not at all! I’ve also noticed how Nino is increasingly shoved to the side to make room for Luka, aka a generic “rebellious” white boy who looks like he never showers and his mum dresses him and whose interest in a younger girl is so creepy that he had to be retconned to be her age. And I don’t get it, because Nino has an actual fleshed-out personality considering his lack of screentime:

he’s impulsive and super protective of those he loves, to the point where he jumps into battle repeatedly against a literal supervillain who could crush him into a paper ball without effort if she really wanted to

but he can also be stubborn and drag his heels in, like in ‘Horrificator’ over the kiss scene that Alya didn’t include

he also got akumatised over his impulsiveness because he was so angry for his best friend

and yes, that’s different to Luka getting angry for Marinette in ‘Silencer’ because

he didn’t give a flying damn about the rest of the band, just the girl whose pants he wanted in

he didn’t actually??? Confront XY and Roth directly??? He just stood there trying to get Marinette to leave and then when she was threatened, he just stood there and stewed. Compare that to Nino, who actively went on the attack at Gabriel to try and fight for Adrien and damn the consequences

he’s got varied interests and personality outside of his DJing. He loves filmmaking, he’s goofy (think ‘Puppeteer 2’), he gets flustered easily, he parkours with Alya in their free time, he loves Just Dance...there’s so much more to him than just ‘plays an instrument and makes fun of a pretty girl for stuttering’

his self-worth issues! He didn’t think he was worthy of being a superhero, that he could defend Alya in an arm wrestle... I don’t know what Luka thinks of himself. I don’t even know if he thinks

he’s so selfless and loyal! Remember ‘Zombizou’, where he stayed behind so Alya wouldn’t be a zombie alone even though she wouldn’t have a clue once everything was fixed? Where he went in to bat for Adrien in ‘Bubbler’ even knowing he could be making an enemy out of a powerful and influential man? Where he stuck by Adrien in ‘Jackady’ and made sure he was safe? What has Luka done in comparison? And before people insist that he’s barely had any screentime, they also insist that Nino has no personality because he’s hardly ever on screen too and yet I can pick all of this about Nino, so they can’t have it both ways

And you’re bang-on with characters of colour being shoved aside for white ones. You see it in how Chloé replaces Alya as Marinette’s best friend despite being a literal horrific bully while Alya has been there for Marinette through thick and thin and is the literal reason why Marinette became Ladybug not just once but twice. You see it in the colourism (preferring lighter skin shades and features over darker ones) where Kagami has all but replaced Alya as a love interest for Marinette and sometimes even as her best friend because Alya is Lila’s new bestie. And that’s not to say that Kagaminette ship and friendship are bad! I love love LOVE them to bits and Kagami is one of my favourite characters of all time. But I hardly ever see Alyanette anymore in favour of Kagaminette, and even just Alya and Marinette best friend stuff because Kagami has essentially replaced Alya. And that’s also a common salt thing too; if it’s not Chloé replacing Alya, it’s Kagami.

Don’t get me wrong, Kagami is very much a POC. She’s faced a hell of a lot of undeserved backlash and awful treatment for being the “bitchy ice queen” and even fetishisation (don’t get me started please or I won’t shut up but some of the stuff I’ve seen has made me physically nauseous at the Asian fetishisation). But at the end of the day, I’ve personally seen her treated “better” than Alya...if by “better” you mean fetishised, which is a large part of why I don’t trust 90% of other Adrigaminette and Kagaminette fans. The way she’s treated compared to Alya looks more positive but it’s still fetishism and racism. She’s just not outright bashed as much as Alya because colourism and specifically anti-Black racism, as subconscious as it might sometimes be.

And that racism and colourism (which I most definitely had a point with I swear) is something that ties into the Luka and Nino thing, where people with lighter features are preferred over people with darker features. Luka has 1/100 the personality that Nino does and get he gets 100 times the love that Nino does. He also has people gushing over his appearance and how he’s a “hot bad boy” but I never see people loving Nino for his dark skin, for his brown eyes, for his prominent nose...for anything, really.

(Not to get personal but as a fellow Arab who also has brown eyes and a nose that’s not thin and dainty and is very obviously non-white and something I hated for years, that shit hurts)

Like, if someone doesn’t like Kagami, most of the time she’s just ignored as a character and the author/artist doesn’t touch on her. But if someone doesn’t like Alya? Instead of just having her be friends with other girls instead or just naturally drift apart from Marinette (which uh is still not cool), they go wild on her, turning her into an aggressive bitch who’s obsessed with her scoops and getting Adrien and Marinette together even at the cost of Marinette’s happiness. They take her flaws and wildly exaggerate them to justify hating her (don’t ask about the sheer vitriol I saw in the aftermath of ‘Feast’ over a mistake that Luka would just be coddled for). And while it’s not as prominent, because Alya is at the intersection of being a girl and a POC - especially a Black girl - and cops double the crap, I’ve also seen Nino demonised into a spineless idiot who just stands by and lets things happen instead of...you know, the boy who literally rushed a spider supervillain to save his girlfriend, knowing he could die very easily.

I just want some wholesome Adrino 😔 There’s all this “Luka would show Adrien how to rebel and just gets how he feels” and blah but like...Adrien already knows how to rebel. He just does it in little safe ways because he’s an abused kid, rather than doing what the salters think he should do and turning into a generic copy of Luka without a thought for the consequences that Gabriel can inflict on him because he’s still a kid under his parent’s “care”. And Nino already gets how Adrien feels! He’s Adrien’s best friend! He knows what to say to Adrien and how to be there for him without having to resort to strumming a guitar and telling Adrien how he feels like Luka does to Marinette.

Nino was Adrien’s first friend. Nino’s been there for Adrien through thick and thin, through having an arse of a parent who forces him to be flaky and unreliable with hangouts. Nino is physically affectionate with Adrien without throwing himself all over him like Chloé and Lila do. Nino’s actions as an akuma were to make his best friend happy. And yet people still seem to think that Luka both loves Adrien more and is a better choice for him. Why??? All Luka would do is sit there and play his guitar. Luka is his music and nothing else but Nino...Nino has so much more to him than just his DJing.

I feel like part of it is not wanting to break up DJWiFi, which...okay, valid. That’s one of my favourite ships of all time because they’re so darn happy and cute together and it makes me melt to see two POC happy together. I personally would turn to polyamory because I want massive cuddle piles. But if you don’t want that and you’re deadset on Lukadrien (😬) then just...don’t shove Nino to the side. Continue to include Nino as Adrien’s best friend and give him appropriate screentime and character growth outside of being a cardboard cutout friend. It’s not an either-or thing like so many people seem to think, and platonic friendships are just as important as romantic relationships.

[super-nowa-art]

i got angry. and when i get angry, i rant. and when i rant, i need to share the rant with the void of social media, just to have an outlet.

if you don't agree with me, i don't care. not looking for discourse.

i watched this video, for context. literally no one cares but idk

https://youtu.be/5uaJ1XyRwrU

Ok this is about to be long so bear with me.

To begin with, why are we still gatekeeping? It's 2020. Queers should stick together instead of debating who's identity is "valid" or not. Let people be who they want to be.

Also, I don't know what your views on trans people are (think you've made videos with trans folk so I'm guessing you're not intentionally being transphobic), but the preferred pronoun law is actually meant to PROTECT trans people. Which is fucking needed. In 2020 alone there have been at least 36 people killed in the US for being trans. There are probably a lot more, considering murdered trans people often get misgendered by the cops and the statistics don't include them. World wide, more than 3000 trans folk have been murdered for being trans in the last 11 years. And again, there's surely a lot more we don't know about.

The preferred pronoun law that you mock is life saving. It keeps trans people from being outed where it would be dangerous to be outed. Most trans people are killed by someone they know. Yes, the law is there to provide an encitement to use trans folk's correct pronouns because it can induce extreme dysphoria to be misgendered, but more importantly, it's there so a trans person's coworker or boss is less likely to mis-gender them and out them.

And the part where you said you can get a fine for misgendering when you make an honest mistake; no, you can't. At least, that's not what the law is for. The law is for repeated misgendering, demanding license or medical proof that you are biologically the gender you identify as, etc.

As you may have already guessed by my passion for this topic, I am myself trans. Non-binary, to be precise.

Now, I know that we as humans love to label things. I love to label things. I love labeling myself! I like knowing other people's labels! When someone identifies as merely "queer", I get this itchy feeling of: "yeah, but what ARE you?"

I get wanting to label things. What I do NOT get is aggresively stating that someone's identity is invalid. Identifying as simply "queer" is fine! If that's what you resonate with, go for it! Does it irk me that I don't know what that means exactly for you? Yes. Does my inherent need to categorise people start shouting for attention? Absolutely. But it's their identity, and that's cool! It is really none of my business, as long as I know what pronouns to use.

Now, I understand the confusion and anger around this. Before I came out as or even knew I was non-binary, I identified as a lesbian. Love being a lesbian! It's great! I really identified with that term, and I still do.

But then I realised I was trans, and thought hey, I'm not a woman, can I still label myself as a lesbian? Should I just say I identify as "attracted to women"? Say I'm gynosexual and confuse everyone including myself?

I went with just calling myself a lesbian, because that is the term I've used about myself for years. When you said that this word is very important to some people, you were right. Where you were wrong, however, was when you implied that it isn't hugely important to us, too.

Because here's the thing: gender and sex are not the same thing, and more importantly, gender and what pronouns you prefer are not always directly correlated. I know this might confuse you. That's totally fine! I'm confused about everything almost all the time, I feel you! But it is how many trans people feel. I get this tingly awesome feeling when someone refers to me as he/him, because I want to be percieved as masculine. I don't feel like a man, but I want to be seen as masculine or androgynous. I use they/them pronouns, because it's easier than explaining that sometimes I want to be called him, but sometimes not, and basically explain my entire gender to someone.

I understand this feels threatening. It feels like someone is taking away your identity that means so much to you, and that you might have endured a lot of hardship for having.

But remember, us trans people have gone through shit, too. I don't mean to in any way compare the two struggles. I don't want to sit here and say "we have it worse", because really, it doesn't really matter. What matters is this: I get misgendered every day. When you're a binary trans, you can pass for being cis and automatically be called what you want. That will never happen for me. Unless someone asks me my pronouns (which is the best, try it), they are going to assume I'm a female. And I don't blame them! I see boobs, I think girl, too.

Now, imagine you have struggled with figuring out yourself for a long time, and you finally, finally find what you are. What you identify with. And then someone says that you can't identify as that, because you don't fit the mould. News flash, I never fit the mould anywhere, ever! The one place I have always felt safe and happy is within the queer community. And that's why gatekeeping fucks me up so much. Because people like me, who have been the weirdo all their life, hating their body and not knowing why, being confused and scared, not daring to come out, not wanting to draw attention to myself, finally find a place to belong. And then you get shut down. It feels awful.

Explaining that gender and pronouns don't have a direct correlation is hard. Because you can't really explain it. It's just a statement. Like: gender and sex aren't the same thing, but even harder, since it's based on experiences and not the fact that is: trans people excist.

Now, I know that this might have been focused more on cis women who use the pronouns he/him. And yes, like you said, pronouns do indeed give a big indication on what gender identity someone has. But it doesn't HAVE to. They might have a weird or bad relationship with their femininity for various reasons, or they might just feel like a woman but not identify with the female pronouns.

For example, I have a gender I know what my feels like. But I can't explain it for the life of me. Try explaining your gender in detail! It's a lot harder than you think, and it gets even harder to explain when the words aren't even invented.

A he/him lesbian is not a man trying to make fun of your identity, I promise. It's someone who either doesn't have any other word to use (like me), feels a strong connection to the word and associated identity (also me), or a woman who doesn't want to be labeled as she/her for various reasons, but who is attracted to other women. We are not here to shit on your identity! Please don't shi on ours!

I know that probably no one will read this absolute monster of a comment, and that's ok. I got so upset I actually teared up a little bit, so I felt like I had to express myself or I would be thinking about it indefinitely.

Please, if anyone's reading: be respectful. Understand that understanding others is hella difficult, but we have to try, and that both gender and sexuality is very fluid and complicated.

I tried to be as respectful as possible, please have the same courtesy if you intend to commt on my comment, so to speak.

Sad but hopeful lesbian signing off!

[offtopicoverload]

Howdy there!! Who are the li’s you fancy the most from LITG??

hi! thanks for the ask!

i honestly dunno who’s my top answer, cuz they’re all interesting in their own way

I’m only going to talk about female LIs cuz the only male routes I’ve finished are Bobby and Jake, and I tapped through most of Jake and only ended with Bobby on my first run cuz I never unlocked Marisol, so I’m not the best source lol

Talia:

She’s just so chill but has no problem standing up for MC, she has her back no matter what

Which, like, what a queen

She’s the original and only one of 4 LIs, which maybe it’s just me, but for a game based on an incredibly heteronormative reality show, allowing representation for queer audiences from launch is such a big deal and so cool to me, so Talia’s kind of special in my mind

She was also my first LI so nostalgia points

And she’s such an easy LI, not much drama on her route outside of Lucy, just her having MC’s back as the boys make themselves look like idiots

And she has so much potential, like I know some people think her only personality trait is fancying MC, which I mean, is a little fair, but there’s so many opportunities for her in fics and headcanons to develop the good amount of information we got on her in 13 days

I absolutely love how self-aware and confident she is

She just went for what she wanted, struggled a bit with commitment at first, because who wouldn’t, but after that it was smooth sailing

Like obviously what she said in the Beach Hut at the beginning of the season wasn’t great for MC, but she knew exactly what she wanted out of her time on the show

She was confident in herself and her sexuality so much so that she was just down to have a fling with a girl and not worry about how it would effect the show

And then she *coupled up* with that same girl, not even giving a shit about the rules or anything

A queen

Allegra:

I know she’s not an official LI, but her arc is what got me into writing so she gets a million points for that

I love what could have been done with her progression if she was given an actual route, I’m a sucker for some good enemies to lovers, but alas, she’s canonically a bad bitch with a lot of internalised homophobia yet enough confidence to ask MC out

I still love her

Marisol:

I know so many people hate her, and I get it, but I do really like her growth

Maybe it’s cuz I’m pretty analytical too, but her analyses never bothered me or anything, and now that I’ve played her route so many times, it’s pretty obvious that that’s a defense mechanism, and I understand that

She very much so has a “figure their weaknesses out before they have a chance to figure mine out” attitude, and I’m 99% positive it’s because of the ex that Elisa reminded her of

So not only has she been burned in the past, I’m willing to bet it was by the only woman she’s been in a serious relationship with

I really have no problem with her commitment issues, it’s understandable, and I can really empathise with her fear of coming out, it’s absolutely terrifying even if you’ve accepted it and bought a flag, saying the words can be really difficult

My biggest issue is her entitlement and immaturity, I guess?

Like her using Graham to make MC jealous just feels like an excuse to crack on with him and still have MC available for when she’s ready

I understand her being scared to couple up, but playing games to distract herself just made things with MC worse

And unless youre on her route, and sometimes even when you are, it’s clear to me that she expects things and has no problem saying what they are, but going after them is a problem?

Like her going after Lurik even though they don’t have a connection, or Gary even when he’s with Hannah

But then it never works and she gets sad and I melt because I’m weak

ALSO, can I just say how awful it is that Lucas and Henrik don’t pick her unless they have to???

Like cmon she deserves MC after that

And when they finally couple up? And she’s all soft? The GROWTH ohmygod

Anyway I love who Marisol became, maybe not everything she started out as, but definitely the person she ended the season as, more confident and self assured and willing to be vulnerable

It’s precious

Elisa:

I still haven’t done an Elisa route

I tried to a couple months ago, but dumping Marisol felt so cruel, what the hell was Fusebox thinking with that?? 

I do really like that they learned from their mistake though, even if they went in the opposite direction

From what I’ve seen of Elisa, she can be pretty sweet, I’ve seen her described as a Lucas-Bobby hybrid, and while that’s not the most interesting personality to me, I will say that she’s a really cool character that FB messed up on

Why did they make her a straight up villain???

And why ONLY her???

None of the other female LIs have been villains or had such a complete 180

Like her going from shouting at Chelsea, who is literally meant to be MC’s ride or die and the person outside of your LI that youre supposed to want to defend and avenge, to “i cant even sleep because im pining so hard”

I know the treatment of black women has been discussed before, specifically in regards to Hope and Erikah, and it is by no means my place to speak on it, but I definitely think something’s going on with Elisa

Anywayyyy, I love her archetype

The celebrity and influencer has so much potential, to the point that I wrote a one shot without even knowing her lmao 

And she’s so confident in a way that’s so different from Marisol

She doesn’t even care if MC’s happily coupled up, she WILL get in her pants and I respect that

In conclusion, Fusebox did her dirty and I’m probably going to try and retcon some canon for her in the future

Lottie:

Ohmygod

Lottie

A goth babe

Lottie

Yeah, anyway, so I love her

Her growth is just unbeatable in my opinion

Yeah, she still has her flaws by the end of the season, but she went from ready to rip everyone’s throat out to biting her tongue around Hannah

And her and MC???

And the development between them??? 

Ugh

No matter what way you swing it, you’ve either got best friends to lovers or enemies to lovers and I adore both

And her aesthetic is one of my favourites, I’m alt myself and having a character like that is just so cool

My Runaways MC is a ball of sunshine with some hidden darkness specifically because Lottie’s such a dark cloud but can start shining with the right person, and that’s my absolute favourite trope

But man were the wedding episodes a cop out

Why couldn’t they give her the Noah treatment? Or the single treatment? Where they just get together after the show? Same with Hannah, why are they giving such an intense confession after who knows how long of literally nothing, like no communication even????

Don’t get me wrong, I kinda simultaneously love it for the angst and yearning, but it just… makes no sense?

So yeah, amazing bat lady that I seriously vibe with and wish my MC could have wifed up

Hannah:

I know this is a little controversial buuuut

I fucking love Hannah

But only OGHannah, Returning Hannah was butchered and I will never let that go

And it was such a toxic message too, that she needed to change herself and her appearance just to get a guy to like her?

Fuck that, Original Hannah was amazing and perfect exactly as she was

I love her trope, too, the naivety and how obvious and clear it was that she’s still learning about the world and relationships, to the point that it’s going to get her in trouble

And her obsession with fairy tales? 

Fucking adorable ohmygod

I started a fic a while ago that I think I’m gonna scrap, that just indulged in the fairy tale metaphors and stuff because I just love how cute it is lmao

If she wasn’t dumped, I think she could have had amazing growth alongside Lottie, and their friendship/kinda, probably, most-definitely-if-MC’s-not-there-more-than-a-friendship growing together would have been so good

In an alternate reality Hope was dumped instead, and that helps me sleep at night

I firmly stand by the fact that Noah should have been the deciding factor between Hope and Hannah/MC, where Lottie said something that screwed with his head earlier in the day to make sure her friends were safe

Noah should have saved Hannah/MC and Hope should have returned with Rocco, hellbent on revenge and proving herself

That would have been so good for Noah stans and such good drama, that actually made perfect sense

Hope was fully expecting that she’d get picked by Noah because they’d spent three days attached at the hip and then to just… not have that happen. It would have driven her insane and if there was then a scene with MC where she just like, gives up

Like she’s spent the past two days grafting Noah but he won’t make up his mind and she’s just done and MC can comfort her or fight with her and you just get to humanize her make her vulnerable and hurting and I fucking WISH they did something like that, even for RHannah

And Hannah’s growth in the Villa would have been so amazing

I think her idea of a perfect guy is definitely too much, and I’m not advocating that she settles by any means, just that she could have learned that there are things more important than money

That conversation on day 1 where you choose between money, kindness, and intelligence still baffles me

Like why are you a gold digger Hannah?!?!

Why don’t you just want a Prince/ss Charming???

Her and Hope should have swapped and I don’t understand why they weren’t

I mean, I do really like Hope, but Hannah’s just so cute and has so much to learn and her struggling in the Villa just to have a lightbulb moment with MC would have been precious and now I want to write it dammit

Anyway, Hannah is adorable and had so much potential and she never should have returned if they were just going to scrap everything that made her Hannah, except for snooty literature

I wanna listen to her rattle on about Belle and Mulan and every other Disney Princess and what they meant for representation and progress in media and then compare them to their original stories like a dweeb and I would have melted on the spot

Like yes, please tell me more about how gruesome Cinderella is

She should have shown up at the finale and hugged MC and been innocent and sweet so I could have just lost my shit for like a half hour

But stan OGHannah, burn RHannah

AJ:

Adorable, precious, denied an arc outside of coming out

I am not exaggerating when I say that I cried at 4:30 in the morning at her blushing face when playing the first two days

It’s just so fucking cute and I’m a sap and I don’t know why it made me cry, but it did okay?!

And her coming out was such good representation!!! By far the best thing in Boat Party, and I’m so proud of the progress FB’s made in queer representation at the very least

I know she’s pretty one dimensional, but most of S3 is unfortunately

Her being available right off the bat was also such a win, I’m positive it’s the reason she had so many stans

If her and Yasmin had switched or her and Lily, they would have been the ones that were dominating Reddit polls and stuff

And I know she’s written as masc but I just can’t really see it? Like I can’t see her in a dress, but outside of a few clothing items, I guess I just can’t see it? Maybe androgynous is more the word for my image of her, like definitely a mix

She’ll wear a skirt under the right circumstances, but never a dress, a crop top with a flannel, her prom outfit that’s like a frilly jumpsuit, stuff like that? idk im not a lesbian

Her route for me was so glitchy, but I know that if MC’s stolen from her by Yasmin, Tai, or Ciaran, she has some really cute scenes and I wish I could have seen them

And I know some people were ragging on her for the eyelash at the end of the scene but I thought that was just a perfect callback - maybe it’s the writer in me

Basically, AJ’s adorable and why did Ciaran have to split her and MC up, not cool dude

Yasmin:

I forgot I was doing a Yasmin route a while ago, but from what I’ve seen and played, she’s really sweet 

I hate that she’s almost nonexistent outside of her route

Give us a mysterious musician friend, you cowards!

I saw that she sings to MC on the final date and damn is that cute

Her eyeshadow kinda throws me off, but her stuffed animal makes up for it

And I’m salty that Yasmin the Lamb disappeared too, that was such a nice detail that made me start a Yasmin route

She’s distant and self-assured, but has a soft, gooey, nostalgic center and I wish we saw more of that, even if we weren’t on her route

My final thoughts on Yasmin: An artsy indie icon that I really need to stop getting distracted from and finish her route

Lily:

Again, don’t know much about her, but she seems really cool

Her shaving her head between the finale and Boat Party is such a flex and I wish she did it right before Boat Party so we could see her in all her bald glory

She’s into cars, right? And… architecture?

Idk, I barely remember my own name, let alone a 10 minute date from months ago

But I’ll definitely get around to doing her route at some point, maybe just to write for her, we’ll see

Elladine:

I know she’s not an LI, but MC so should have been able to run away with her

I missed that option in S3

I kinda get why they didn’t do that, but Boat Party’s just so messy in general

And I would include Genevieve here, but she’s so cute with Seb that I’d feel bad splitting them up

But Elladine had actual problems with Nicky!!!

Why did they mention it for it to never pay off??

And I’m so mad that the hype around her died when it was revealed she wasn’t an LI or the badass of the season, because I still adore how sweet she is

I also want to brag that before we got a name I was calling her Emma and that’s just on example of my almost psychic-ness

But yeah I wanted Ell to be a run away option and I’m salty that she wasn’t

Know what, fuck it, Viv too, she’s smart and cool as hell, let us love these awesome women FB, you cowards!!!

I have no idea who would be my number 1 based on canon, but if we’re talking hypotheticals, I think my answer, as strange as it is, is Hannah.

I just love what she could have been, but by no means what she is. 

It’s so awkward to know her for three days, not see her for three weeks, then spend a couple more days with, a couple weeks at most, just for her to write a whole ass book about MC?? And tell her about it with that hair????

No thanks, I’ll stick with closeted sapphic horse girl nerd Hannah because I guess that’s somehow my type??? Oh god what the fuck I swear I’m not a total weirdo

[mmagazinemoment]

Why my past loves make me want to look into nihilism as a lifestyle.

Good morning, midday, afternoon, or evening to you my fellow queers and allies and plain and simply gorgeous humans. You see I have already written another version of this edition but instead I have a pure heroine filled piece instead, and you may not be ready for it because it covers a few serious points but it’s also the (fuck your ex) vibe, not literally…unlesssssss * insert meme*. Thanks for joining me again my loves

 Why my past loves make me want to look into nihilism as a lifestyle

You ever just meet someone and fall completely into their arms and become almost a complete and utter 3rd leg of the other? What I mean in all seriousness is, don’t you ever feel like the love game grows on you like a drug addiction and I know some of you will see this and be thinking? What do you mean “the love game” I know it’s not a game, a figure of speech as such. Basically, what I’m trying to say is have you ever loved someone so much that you didn’t see the signs of detrimental dysfunction.

Wow that all sounds so serious, let me dial it down a little, I’m just trying this new thing called being uncensored and not caring about preconceived notions of myself from external eyes. Months ago, I was shattered into a million pieces and I won’t blame just him because it was my fault for thinking every relationship or whatever it was, was going to end up like a tv romance, no that’s a lie. I over invested and blamed him for hurting my own self, sure he had something to do with it, but he wasn’t just to blame. Can’t tell me I don’t know how to take accountability (wow I’m funny).

For instance, in a movie you meet and lock eyes with someone and the breeze grasps your hair, when I met said person, I was like ‘omg he’s tall, I’m going to fall in love with a giraffe’ and then I tried to build a home in him, without the investment and time taken to be careful with my time and words of affirmation in efforts to receive reciprocation I never got unless it was backhanded or what I wanted to hear. So how did you perceive your first love? Did he/she/they look pleasing? Or was it the scent of their perfume or cologne? Did they dress in a floral vintage outfit or was it a suit and tie? Ballet flats or sneakers? Tell me? I want to know all of the juicy details!

I know some of you probably didn’t ask or ever want to know but my first love happened in a series of me closing doors journeying through my uneasy sexuality labelling and let’s be real, fuck labels am I right? (unless you find comfortability and closure under a label and with that you’re perfectly valid), Love to me was like heroine and in some senses it still is. When I first learnt of love, it didn’t feel like love, it felt like obligation, perhaps a trend. Love felt like learning all he moves to a Tik Tok dance as fast as possible before the hype disappeared, and it became irrelevant again, questionable reference point but blame social media not me. I was never satisfied.

Keep in mind this was 15-year-old me, trying to gain some sense of validation to seem a little less repressed and not confused because before 15 year old me realised that 12 year old me wasn’t as weird as I thought.  I was under this veil of non-transparency and speaking on the subject of transparency I must tell you 12 was the year of age I realised that I wasn’t like the other boys at school, just swooning for girls and getting scared of cooties, I was just begging to be seen by whoever had eyes to care. Sounds dramatic I know.

Nobody was ever there to tell me at such a young age that there were others like me, “different”, the type of boy who watched rebel without a cause and felt weird when James Dean was looking so gorgeous and composed in that leather jacket or admiring Tim Curry when he dressed like no man I’d ever seen on a movie screen in or even real life in the Rocky Horror Show, something sparked in… me. I started on the smallest step I knew, acknowledgement, I knew I could find a home in the fact that there were more people like me, and wow I was right. I was finding comfort in what I knew, I found a few gorgeous women and obviously because of my age we thought that holding hands and a peck on the cheek was all we needed in life from the label of ‘relationship’, but it was only ever a weekly process. Anytime I found ‘love’ I wouldn’t know what to do with it without the chase, like a dog chasing a bone. Even to this day I have never had a successfully long relationship but at least these days it’s not because of my toxic traits, I like to think I’ve grown a considerate amount since I was 15. Don’t get me wrong, neither of those experiences were love? How could they be?

Ironically love happened even ‘after’ I was in a relationship. I had another relationship when I was 17, it lasted a little longer than the prior, it went for a month and a half, I was convinced I loved her, so sappy but you wanted transparency right? I have a lot of it. After that, my ex brought to attention after she cheated on me that I was using her as a sort of beard to cover up the truth about myself, I never knew how to perceive myself until then and that was only the second step, there was so much more to cover.

Skip forward past a few experiences leading up the near current, I met someone, a sort of fleeting romance, now (forewarning, this gets sappy) we talked for a few weeks if my memory isn’t hazy, and we quickly developed something no short of a connection. FaceTime after FaceTime I’d gather more and more pictures of his goofy face and at one stage, I thought I was going to be happy for the foreseeable future, then came reality. You can’t be loved by someone who doesn’t want to face themselves and you can’t help them anymore than what you’re capable of giving out. I didn’t listen to that, naturally things just got worse, and I hated everything…

He would apologise, I would validate his actions to friends who were concerned and realising that I was getting too soon attached and it wasn’t going to end well and I copped the consequences, I still have only recently not found regret in messing up this badly because if I didn’t make that mistake then I would’ve just witnessed those mistakes I made in the lap of somebody else and this is where the saying goes, better the devil you known then the devil you don’t. let me tell you it did more than a number on my mental health before I added up the reasons as tallies against us and internalised what I should’ve subtracted (hehe see what I did there). In all seriousness I wanted the thrill, I sure as hell got one.

Your mental health is amplified by your lifestyle choices and the people you choose to keep in your circle, friendship, or relationships regardless, the whole thing was out of whack and a tornado was nothing less than the accurate definition of where I was at, and it hurt a lot but sometimes it’s best to leave that situation if that person who you thought was going to be there for a while and a necessity to your life ends up being the detriment. (as Ashley Frangipane said) “its crazy when the thing you love the most is the detriment, let that sink in”.  

 If there is one piece of advice that I want whoever sees this to take with them it’s this, Keep your space sacred baby, you only have one life, but also please do not criticize yourself for getting caught in the motion sickness, sometimes you just can’t avoid it and that’s ok. Life is not a movie, life is more like the behind the scenes extra that puts everything into perspective, it’s rational and shows the hard work put in place to make the art and you should remind yourself as such. Remember also that if you cannot cope with all of the stress that presents itself in your life, that there are people that are equipped to help you hold some of the baggage for you until you are ready to take it back and analyse it. Whatever your grief is, I assure you, you’re not alone.

As always, stay healthy and strut your shit and I cannot stress this enough but keep raging against the machine and the super straights xoxo without the gossip girl, farewell until the next piece of The Mantra Magazine. *keep this in mind* next issue will be a little forward, it will include themes of segregation and war regarding the families of the Palestinians and Israeli conflicts happening right now. So, bring some tissues and an open mind. Farewell.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #353

“well i’m a creep  /  i’m a weirdo  /  what the hell am i doing here?  /  i don’t belong here”

If you won an all-expenses paid trip to anywhere in the world for a one week vacation, where would you choose to go? For just one week, um... maybe South Africa, actually. Two weeks would probably be more ideal, but I've learned via my friend who worked with the KMP for a year that it's very isolating and you're very disconnected from society (also from the Internet, haha), but regardless, I REALLY wanna see the meerkats. Especially with the heat and all, one week might actually be all right. How often do you get notifications on your favorite social media site? That would be Facebook, and it really depends on how much I share that day. Sometimes I barely touch it, and sometimes I share a billion things and get a few notifications of people reacting. What’s something you’re actively trying to forget/care less about, if anything? Hi, have I told you about my breakup? What was the last encounter you had with a bug? Ugh, the fucking house is having an ant problem. Apparently, it's happened before here this time of year, so a couple times a days I find one on my arm or something and crush it. What is something considered “childish” that you still like or enjoy doing? I'm certain some people would consider RP childish, given it's essentially "make believe," and that's one reason I don't tell people about it. Name a song that you have a strong emotional connection to. Why is that song so important to you? The #1 song would be "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin. I've told why before and don't feel like doing it again. Is cannabis legal where you live? Nope, but it should be. How often do you walk your dog, if you have one? I don't have a dog. What is something you'd feel confident enough to give a presentation on? Me? Comfortable giving a presentation? Bitch please. Which CoVid vaccine did you receive, if any? I got Moderna. I wanted Pfizer, but supposedly they're the same thing, just different manufacterors. How do you feel you've made a difference in the world? I don't feel I have. But it's my goal in life to die feeling like I did. Do you eat any candies in a specific order? (ie: M&M's) I fucking read this as "candles" and was really confused. But anyway, yes, but not M&Ms; I only do that with candies that actually have unique tastes depending on color, like Skittles. What is one common childhood illness that you managed not to catch? I never got chickenpox. Is there an heirloom that has been passed down generations of your family? Probably, but I don't know about it. What is the most unique pet that you ever owned, or would like to? Hm. I'd say maybe a Chinese water dragon? People tend to not know what they are; they mistake them for iguanas all the time. Have you ever been in a bad car accident before? A bad one, no, but I've been in one, nevertheless. At the description of what happened though, the cop said we were extremely lucky we weren't flipped over. My mom's driving skill saved us. What is your favorite type of weather to experience? Snow! I like a steady pace of large flakes. Do you know your social security by heart? I don't, actually, but I did at one point. Now, I only know the last four digits. Would you move out your house if you could right now? Yes, even if we just moved here. Mom and I really, really don't like living in the suburbs. We miss being in the middle of nowhere. When is the last time you slept in someone else’s bed? Not since I last visited Sara's. Do you like being called baby? Not really. Like if it's from an s/o, it's all right, it's just really not my favorite. Have you ever slept in the same bed of the opposite sex? Yeah. When shopping at a grocery store, do you return the cart? I openly judge the fuck out of you if you don't. Do you think you would survive in the wilderness if you were abandoned there? I know I couldn't. Not in my shape. If you had a child at the age you’re at now, do you think you’d be a good parent? God, no. Do you eat your Oreos with milk? Yes. I strongly prefer them that way. Do you think French kissing is gross? I mean in concept I think it indisputably is, like even if you brush your tongue, it's still just... gross. But that doesn't mean I'm against it at all or won't do it when I love somebody. It's an "I accept you and your germs" thing, haha. Are you wearing make-up? What brand(s)? No. I pretty much never wear makeup anymore, even to take pictures. The last male you spoke to…is he attractive? That would be my psychiatrist, and I'm not attracted to him, no. He's like another dad to me. Have you ever had mice in your house? Back when we lived in the woods, we would have a minor mouse problem in the winter sometimes. I fucking hated it because my parents used the inhumane traps, save for one. I guess it was an affordability thing, idk. One or two got caught in that one, and I would let them go outside. Do you enjoy working with animals? It depends on what I'm doing. If I'm cleaning up after an animal, NO, because I seriously struggle with stomaching it. I canNOT touch vomit or feces, so that kinda eliminates a lot of options. Because of how physically weak I am along with hyperhidrosis, I also can't really exert myself much, so there ya go, more reasons I can't. I wish I could. Have you ever been in a tornado or hurricane? Plenty of hurricanes. If you're in a competition, are you in it to win it or just for the fun? The fun, experience, and growth. What's your favorite show on Comedy Central? I don't watch it. Which love story would you want your life to turn out like? I don't know, really. Do you usually go to sleep before or after the people you're living with? Before, at least usually. Are you into ripped jeans? Yes, though I don't wear jeans anymore. Have you ever been to any Disney parks? Yeah, Disney World in Florida. Which band has the best name, in your opinion? "Cradle of Filth" sounds pretty damn badass and unholy, I dig it. Do kids often knock on your door on Halloween? This will be our first year in this house during Halloween, so I really don't know if any will? I mean we live in a suitable neighborhood, so idk. Which one of your exes do you feel like you have the most chemistry with? Sara. Do you share the same political views as your parents? Dad, no. Mom, some. Have you ever done any internship? No. What's the last thing you got paid to do? Take pictures for someone. What's something your mother always says? "Drive like everyone else is stupid." It works though, haha. Always expect that someone you see might do something moronic and be prepared. For example, she is very adamant about us looking both ways when a light changes to green versus going immediately, and it's literally saved Mom's and my sister's lives. What's something your dad always says? To reach out to him if we ever need help with anything, and he'll do everything in his power to be there. What's your favorite thing to wear? Loose tank tops with loose-ish pj pants. What's your favorite day of the week? Nowadays, it's Fridays. Snake Discovery and The Dark Den both upload that day, haha. Do you have a favorite coloring book artist? Lisa Frank is the Wholesome Lead Bitch. Have you ever wanted to model? No. Have you ever seen someone have a seizure? Yeah, my sister. What's your favorite car? I am not NEARLY educated enough on cars to answer this. Why did you cry the last time you did? I'm seriously grieving Virginia. Her death has stricken me harder than any other I've experienced, even my own grandmother's. Who was the last person to piss you off? Probably someone on Facebook, but idr. Do you like winter? I love winter. Do you have a favorite flower? Yeah; I really like orchids. Dahlias are also gorgeous, and roses... Would you get a shamrock tattooed to your forehead for $5000? No. As great as that money sounds, tattoos are (relatively) permanent, and that would look pretty stupid imo. Are you very flexible? Not anymore. Who was the last person to tell you you looked nice? Probably Mom. Do you have the right time set on your microwave? Yeah. Do you have any old newspaper articles? Why? No. Do you have a flat screen tv or just a regular box? Flat screen. Do you like Tootsie Rolls? Ugh, no. Do you like Slim Jim’s? Oh fuuuuuuck yeah man. What color is your mousepad? Black. Do you get your eyebrows waxed? I used to, but now I just leave 'em be. Would you date someone that had a different religion from you? It would depend on the religion and the intensity. I could NOT date someone exceptionally religious. A common question: What are you listening to? Caleb Hyles and Halocene's cover of Radiohead's "Creep." Would you ever get a nature tattoo? Well, I want at least a meerkat tattoo, so. I'll probably get a snake somewhere, too. Where do your siblings work, if anywhere? My older sister is a mammographer, and my little sister is a children's social worker. Saving lives, then there's me lmao. Who do you generally talk to the most? Mom and Sara. Have you ever had a crush on someone of the same gender? Yeah, multiple times. Do you enjoy painting? Not really, no. I stress out about messing up. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin? Around a week ago, left shoulder, to get my first Covid vaccine. Is there a person you talk to everyday with? Well, considering I live with my mother... I usually talk to Sara too, but a day sometimes passes where we don't. Does one of your parents ever complain to you about the other parent? Mom does that all the time about Dad. It's no shocker they're divorced. Dad's long since moved on and doesn't talk shit about her. Who was the last person you wished a “Happy Birthday” to? I actually don't remember... Someone on Facebook, I'm sure. Does your best friend have a job? Not right now, she's dealing with some wild health issues where it's much safer that she doesn't. When you move out your house (or if you already have moved out) do you plan on still visiting your parents' house? Well of course. I especially plan on visiting my mother at least once a week, either going to her place for dinner or her coming over to mine for the same. We're way too close for me to not see her. I'll still visit Dad, too. Do you usually take home leftovers if you eat out in a restaurant? It depends on what I had and if I know I'll eat it warmed up. What’s your favorite thing to have for breakfast? Cinnamon rolls. Why did you break your last promise? I barely EVER break promises, but this one I actually forgot I even made. ;_;