#he has his strings around Gustaf

[dead-dove-orchid]

Moldable, like clay.

[fleetingfigures]

LFRP - Beau Myvatorr

Confident in step and focused in gaze, this Viera seems one to loathe nonsense. However, despite his best attempts to blend in with society outside of Golmore, it is readily obvious just how out of touch he is.

| The Basics |

Name: Beau Myvatorr

Age: 81 Summers

Birthday: 29th Sun of the Sixth Umbral Moon

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Sexuality: Pansexual

Zodiac: Western - Capricorn Lunar - Metal Ox

Languages: Native Tongue (unnamed, refuses to speak in it with outsiders), Common Eorzean (rough, but gets the job done), Garlean (can mimic basic phrases).

| Physical Characteristics |

Hair: Black, untamed locks. While rough, Beau makes sure to inlay his hair with various herbs and flora at night to conceal any overwhelming scents.

Race and Gender: Rava Male

Eye Color: Pale green

Body Type: Built and Athletic. Less lithe and nimble than the average Viera

Dominant Hand: Ambidextrous

Speech: Monotone, accented, and never one to mince words, Beau appreciates cutting to the chase and sees no use in niceties. (Voice Claim: Gustaf Skarsgård)

Apparel: Prefers leather and furs as it is what he was most used to while within Golmore; however, he has decided to try and branch out, accepting more appropriate attire for each land he visits. He says it's the best way to learn the culture and its people. It also helps him to not stand out anymore than he already does.

Common Accessories: Two feathers braided into his hair, and a charm crafted of sticks and string, both with no obvious surface meaning.

| Personal |

Profession: Wood-warder, Hunter, Whatever will get the ferryman to port him across the next sea.

Hobbies: Gardening, weaving, wood-carving, Vocal mimicry

Residence: Countless inns across the realm, but if the land permits, Beau prefers to take residence within unmarked trees upon his travels.

Birthplace: Myvatorr, a village near the outskirts of the Golmore Jungle

Religion: Adheres strictly to the tradition of his village.

Likes:

- The stillness of dawn - The scent of herbs upon fresh soil - Those who do not beat around the bush - Those with clear purpose - Small creatures - Freshly charred game - Setting an example - Exceeding expectations

Dislikes:

- Overpopulated cities - Aimlessness - Overly advanced social customs - Those with no confidence - Those who shame tradition - Speaking too long - Garlemald

| Relationships |

S/O: None

Children: As is tradition, Beau has returned to his village multiple times for reproductive purposes, but has never sired the children himself. It's not his role, after all.

Parents: Unknown father, mother was a matron (elder) for their village.

Siblings: Doesn't know, and couldn't remember their faces even if he did.

| Traits |

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

| RP Hooks |

- Threats Beyond the Jungle -

To say that the realm is unstable is an understatement, and with recent developments, Beau would be a disgrace of a Wood-warder if he did not address them. For decades the Wood stood undisturbed thanks to the efforts of he and his brethren, but once the men of steel had erected those towers of foul Mist and seemingly became enthralled to a single purpose, Beau could see that his efforts were only forestalling an inevitable eventuality. Giving up his name, and forsaking his tradition, Beau seeks to learn about these developments and destroy them from the source. However, not everything is as easy as he'd like to think it is, and it can't be solved through his brute force alone. Now displaced from Golmore, and dealing with the effects of the Telophoroi and the Final Days, Beau wishes he had the guidance of his home once more.

- Tradition -

Bound by duty, and wishing to see his home continue on no matter what, Beau tries his best to uphold the way of life he once had within the Wood. In leaving Golmore he gave up his forest name, but kept that of his village; he may have abandoned his tradition and betrayed the law his ancestors followed for ages before him, but he did so for the sake of preserving Golmore. In breaking tradition, he seeks to uphold it, and while not completely orthodox in his ways, he still wishes to honor and continue these practices no matter where he goes. As a result, many who meet him, especially other Viera who have left Golmore, may find him to be highly judgemental and opinionated about their way of life. Does it root from a sense of a moral high-ground, a desperate wish to keep his way of life as traditional as possible, a mix of the two, or perhaps none at all? Whatever it may be, in order to see his mission complete, he must learn to accept the differences of others, and of himself.

- Ever Searching -

Ignorant he may be of civilization beyond the Wood, Beau wishes and is eager to learn all he can about the world he now finds himself in. Anything and everything can be of use, but topics surrounding around Mist, or 'Aether' as these outsiders call it, are of highest import to him.The towers of the Telophoroi and the effects of the Final Days weigh heavily upon his mind at all times, and he'd be hard pressed not to learn how best to combat it. He refuses to let his efforts be for naught, and he'd rather perish himself than see his home fall to the threats beyond the jungle's edge. However, as eager as he may seem, that does not yet make him a suitable student. Prideful in disposition and confused with most concepts, it will take one with quite a lot of patience to instruct him well.

- 'Oculi Silvae' -

Wood-Warders are regarded as fearsome warriors, and Beau is no exception to that fact. In protecting his home, he spared nothing to make sure that those who trespassed never had the will to follow through with their plans. Even as day turned to night, and sun turned to downpours, Beau never stopped watching his quarry, and never let them have a moment's rest. He used their tongue to taunt the living with an unsettling mimicry of the slain. He'd leave them for days to lull them into a sense of safety. Above all, however, he never once blinked in the face of any trespassers. They were the ones who were to falter, to fear, not him. They would learn the Wood is superior to their steel through the spilling of their iron, and learn they did. Within the realm of Imperial rumors, tales speak of the 'Forest's Eyes', and those who return to tell the tale never came back the same.

(So as to prevent too much text clutter, More RP prompts and Background can be found on Beau's Carrd)

| Perspective Writing |

(Here are a few examples of Beau's 'voice'.)

Scale - Adroit - Heady - Feckless

| Additional Info |

Beau's personal plot and ongoing hooks center heavily upon MSQ developments from both the end of Shadowbringers to the end of Endwalker. As a result, those who have not finished Endwalker should be wary when seeking rp with Beau as I will most definitely be bringing up plot points that are relevant to both expansions.

Additionally, given Beau's blunt attitude and judgemental nature, he may not be the most agreeable or 'nice' person out there. There are times when his roleplay will be displayed as being openly disparaging of another OC's decisions/actions, but please note that this is simply to stay as true to his character as I possibly can. Not everyone you meet will be instantly friendly, and Beau is a testament to that. I encourage conflict between my OC and yours so as to drive some form of change in both of them, but obviously, as I am writing this here, if you do not wish for such comments or situations within your RP, then Beau is not the best fit.

| Contact Me |

Tumblr: @fleetingfigures | Follows are from @kneeyabee!​

Carrd: As stated above, Beau's Carrd contains more information than is present here. Please look at it for a more in depth look.

Discord: I would prefer to be contacted via discord before RP’ing with anyone! As for my handle, please send me a DM here on tumblr as I would rather not share my discord publicly on an LFRP post. Timezone: I work off of EST (UTC -5) and am usually active more so during the late afternoon leading into the night. My schedule is up in the air atm, so scheduling will more so occur on a session to session basis!

Oh, and always, as I myself am above the age of 18, I’d prefer my RP partners to also be above that age as well to make sure we’re on the same page.

[lihikainanea]

what if bill was stressed about auditions and just his work in general and he doesn’t realize how distant & almost mean to tiger but it just makes her feel unwanted because she doesn’t realize he’s stressed & thinks he’s just tired of her :( how would bill react once he realized he’s been hurting her feelings?

Ohhhhhhhhh godddddd I am too emotional for this.

And like, here’s the thing right. Maybe Bill isn’t being outright mean, but he’s snapping pretty easily and it’s uncharacteristic for him. He has the patience of a saint most of the time, but it’s been a bit of a bad string of luck. He’s not nailing auditions, and it’s rattling his confidence. He’s not getting callbacks. He’s barely getting any first calls about jobs to go out for. Maybe him and Gustaf are really getting into it, their relationship is tense for some reason or another and that’s really weighing on Bill, because he's so close to him. Gustaf is his guide, you know? He’s his North Star, and it messes Bill up pretty badly when they’re not getting along.

So he’s been pretty withdrawn, a bit manic really. Tense meetings with his agent and his management team, seemingly every day. And usually he regains his calm, his peace in focusing on something else--someone else. Taking care of tiger, hovering like the tall Mother Hen that he is helps him rebalance. It helps him just focus on something else for awhile, something productive.

But this time he’s just...he’s tired. Probably a little depressed. He’s irritated and aggravated and kind of just wallowing. He’s not cooking a whole lot, so tiger comes in from work and he’s still tucked away in the back room where he was when she left this morning. And tiger’s tired too, you know? Bill’s energy is contagious, and she’s just kind of...absorbing a lot of it.

He’s not really giving her any affection, and it’s only because he just doesn’t even think of it. He’s too wrapped up in his head, too mad about everything to focus on anything else. Tiger wakes up in the morning and he’s already out of bed--or if he isn’t, then he’s on his side turned away from her. She gets her own coffee most mornings these days. If she catches him in the hallway, she might be able to steal a small kiss--but even that is brushed off.

“Not now kid,” he unwraps her arms from around his waist, “I’m waiting on a call.”

And maybe tiger doesn't even realize the effect that this distance is having on her, but she’s just slowly being nudged into a real bad place. Bill is such a calming presence in her life and she relies on--she needs--his affection, his touch, just his loving and comforting presence around her. And now not only is he high-strung, but he’s snappy, there’s nothing comforting about him, and tiger is just starting to get in a real bad place.

She tries to kind of seek it out herself--which god, can you hear that? That’s my fucking heart breaking. Maybe he’s locked away in the back room late one night and tiger just kind of knocks on the door gently, opens it a crack.

“Hey,” she mumbles and her voice cracks a tad, “Can I um...can I lay on the couch? In here?”

He stares at her for a second--hell probably the longest he’s looked at her in awhile--but then he goes right back to his computer.

“I’m working tiger,” he says. She bites her lip.

“I know,” she says, staring at her feet, “I won’t make any noise. I promise.”

She looks to him for confirmation, and he lets out an annoyed sigh and juts his chin at the couch. She curls up, trying to breathe in at least a faint scent of him, and the rhythmic tapping of his fingers on the keyboard lulls her to sleep. It’s nice just to be in the same room as him.

But then she wakes up, right, and Bill is nowhere to be found. Disgruntled, trying to swallow around the lump in her throat she makes her way out of the room and finds him at the kitchen table.

“You left,” she mumbles pitifully. Bill doesn’t even look up.

“You were snoring,” he says, “It was bugging me.”

She’s quiet, and eventually he flits his gaze to hers over his screen.

“Just go to bed tiger,” he says haughtily, “It’s late enough already.”

“Are you coming?”

“When I’m done,” he doesn’t move to kiss her, doesn’t even tear his eyes away, and she just doesn’t have it in her to ask for a goodnight kiss.

And like, look. Tiger is every emotion in the book. She feels rejected. She feels so fucking hurt. She feels denied, she’s pent up, she just want this comfort and his safety and right now he’s anything but. And it’s not that he’s being mean to her, it’s just that he's not perfect and he’s pretty caught up in his own shit and he doesn’t realize how much she needs him, or how much he’s hurting her.

And I think after another day or two of this--of not behind held while she sleeps, of that thumb she loves so much getting away on her, of him not hugging her or touching her or hell even having a conversation with her...I think tiger’s hurt, and her pain turns into something much more familiar.

Anger.

And anger, she knows. She likes anger. It’s comfortable. So maybe after one more morning of her waking up alone bed, Bill nowhere in sight, she gets angry. And she shoots out of bed, pulling her clothes on as she walks to the back of the apartment and then she whips the door of the office open with such a force that it slams against the wall. Bill jumps, spilling coffee on himself, and he glares as he shoots to his feet.

“Tiger what the fu--”

“No,” she says, and it’s not a shout but it’s definitely...furious. It’s so angry that Bill is taken aback.

“No,” she says again, and she points at him angrily, “Bill If you don’t want this anymore, then have the balls to fucking say it.”

Bill stares at her, stunned. Her chest is heaving, her face is redder than he’s ever seen it, and her eyes just look...wild. She’s fucking irate.

“Enough of this, you asshole,” she seethes, “We meant the world to each other before. And that means you should at least have the fucking decency to tell me to my face if you want this to end. You think this is a game, Bill? You think you can fucking phase me out?”

Bill still hasn’t said anything, he’s just taking it all in and tiger is taking his silence as fuel to her fire.

“This is me, Bill. Your best friend. Your fucking best friend. You have seen me tear men limb from limb and if you can’t extend the courtesy that I deserve, then I’ll do the fucking same to you. Try me.”

She’s in front of him now and he’s still just staring at her stunned, but she leans her hands menacingly on the desk.

“Say it,” she seethes.

“Say what?” he finally breaks his silence, and his tone is eerily calm compared to her.

“Say it,” she demands, “Say you don’t want me anymore.”

And for as hard as she tries, her voice cracks at the last part. It knocks the wind out of Bill--because it’s seemingly from left field, because she’s so angry, and because she’s so....wrong.

“What?” he asks, and ironically it’s quiet enough--broken, stunned enough to kind of get through to her. She’s still breathing heavy, her eyes flitting around in rage, but he ducks to catch her gaze.

“Is that what you think?” he asks softly. Tiger guffaws.

“Why would I think any different?” she says incredulously, “Bill, you’re acting like you can’t stand to be around me these days. You don’t touch me. And not sex, I don’t give a shit about sex right now. You don’t kiss me. You don’t hug me. You don’t even cuddle me when we sleep.”

She’s hurt, he can see it all over her and tears are starting to pool in her eyes. She blinks them back.

“Trying to get any kind of affection out of you these days is like pulling fucking teeth. So if you’re done, then be a fucking man about it and tell me.”

Her tone is biting, but her face is giving her away. She’s hurt, she’s so hurt, and Bill just feels like a fucking idiot.

“Tiger, I’m not done,” he says, and he bends again to catch her eyes, “I’m not done.”

Try as she might she can’t stop the look of relief that clouds her face--but she also crumples a little, a few tears escaping.

“Then what’s happening?” she says, “Why are you like this?”

“Because I’m a fucking moron,” he sighs, rounding the corner of the desk and grabbing her elbow. He pulls her to the couch, sitting down and putting her on his lap.

“Because I didn’t even realize how distant I’ve been. I didn’t realize how much it was hurting you,” he nuzzles her cheek, kissing her jaw softly and god tiger could just pass out from it. He’s finally touching her somehow, and she wants to cry with elation and also deck him one.

“I’m sorry kid,” he strokes her cheek, “I’m so sorry.”

“I know you get caught up,” she mumbles, “But god Bill, you were...you were almost mean, to me.”

He sighs, leaning his head against hers.

“Thanks for snapping some sense into me tiger,” he says, “I don’t ever want to make you feel like that.”

She weaves hand in his hair, scritching softly and lays a gentle kiss on his hairline.

“Can I make it up to you?” he asks quietly, and she kisses his nose.

“Yes,” she says, “And you can start by just putting those strong arms around me, big guy. I’ve missed them.”

Man, the next few days are just a fucking gigantic cuddle orgy until they rebalance again.

[shhhhhskars]

See You Again (part 2)

Click here to indulge in part 1. This is kind of our babies getting emotionally vulnerable with each other, and being weirdos together. All the feels. Very fluffy and soft soft Alex things. I hope you enjoy this. (P.S. sorry if there are typos or what not, my brain has been tired lately.)

There was something bittersweet about finding it when she did. A mixture of embarrassment, unease and relief. It over took her body in a rush as she gazed at his messy scribble in the lonely kitchen, and she had to physically close her eyes to ground herself for a few seconds. All was silent, except for the soft humming of the refrigerator, and she basked in it for a second. With the tension leaving her body, she realized just how disappointed she truly was a second ago. And what was this undeniable shift she felt in the pit of her stomach, the muddled clenching that was there just prior- practically nonexistent now? All of that pent up anxiety and frustration. Gone. Poof. Easy like that. Simply because he had signaled that he was still around.

How was it possible that he could shift her mood so effortlessly? The thought made her seethe a little, his pull was far too strong on her emotions, and it terrified her.

Making a mental note to check in with herself later, she took her her sweet time to climb the staircase up to the rooftop terrace- an effort to convince herself that she was not a complete soft trash can for the man who waited for her. She did her best to maintain an expression of nonchalance- an effort to appear cool, calm and collected. Instead, she found herself chewing at the inside of her bottom lip the entire time, to hold back the smile that was fighting it’s way across her lips. 

When she finally reached the top level, firmly pulling open the french doors, she stopped curtly, legs suddenly feeling like lead.

The roof terrace which was designed to be a cozy space- was decked out intricately from left to right. Draped from edge to edge- twinkling round string-lights hung, the glow that emitted from the circular bulbs standing out against the black, industrial wire and the bare night sky. They wrapped around the exposed wooden beams that provided a shaded area in the day-time, and looped back to where she was standing. Starting at her feet, there were milky wax candles of all sizes, placed in careful bundles all around the terrace floor, burning comfortably in temperate night. A few over-sized metal lanterns lay among them, with taller candles inside, the light bouncing back and radiating against the glass. Dozens of healthy sunflowers (her favorite) beamed straight up in ceramic white pitchers, which were spread through out the various surfaces- one on top of the lounge table, another on top of the bar area. 

He staggered his usual potted plants to the outskirts of the terrace, their terra-cotta buckets adding to the rosiness and haziness of the scene- which made just enough room for a fluffy, layered spread of blankets, on top of a heavy, white quilted duvet. A handful of throw pillows were scattered a top, all some shade of creme or white, some with cotton covers, others knitted, some just soft and fuzzy. Two generously sized wine glasses were perched on a wooden stool next to the area, already filled with a deep ruby hue, and she could tell it was her favorite blend that they kept in their mini collection downstairs. A gentle, soft jazz instrumental filtered through the air, nearly undetectable due to the fact that they were nestled in the heart of the city, the buzz from around them undeniable. 

She was in awe of the energy of the space- of his lofty and particular intimate curation. Stunned, she held her breath. 

As if on cue, the giant Swede who was responsible for it all, appeared from around the corner, whistling softly to himself, carrying an extensive charcuterie board with two large hands. He nearly jumped when he saw her standing in the door way, and clutched at the wooden board firmly. 

“Holy shi.. I said around 10...ish, 'baby. Hi, though.” he muttered with a furrowed brow, but a silly smile was spreading across his face just from seeing her frame in the doorway. He walked over to the wooden table that was near their fort of blankets, and placed down his work of art, shifting it into place on the table. 

Still in complete shock, she ignored him and his time request, watching him nonchalantly shift some of the cheeses on the board. 

“Alex...did you do all of this...for me?” she questioned, clearing her throat to catch his attention when he ignored her. “Alex..” she pressed again, softly, and he pried his attention away from the cheese brought his eyes to hers finally. Looking around, he gave her a tiny, innocent shrug and a nod, as if to say, yeah, I did. He pushed himself up, dusting his butt off a little as he did so, and walked over to where she stood expectantly in the door way.

He wrapped a hand around the small of her waist, pulling her into him, and she sighed a breath of relief, from the much needed contact. 

“We haven’t seen much of each other as of late. I figured, we could use some alone time.” he said modestly. “I mean, I know it’s nothing much, or whatever but...something small, you know, just for us.”

She scoffed, wrapping one arm around his waist, pulling his body closer to hers with a gentle jerk. Suddenly her Tiramisu and lingerie felt minuscule, compared to what he did for her. 

“Small? Baby...” she planted a solid kiss on his chin. “This is everything.” she whispered. Music still softly threading along in the background, he blushed a violent shade of light pink, and brought his lips gently onto hers, leaving a lingering, soft kiss that made her want to whine when he broke it. He dropped her waist and went for her hand, interlocking their fingers and pulling her out of the doorway, and down onto the terrace. “C’mere.” He tugged at her arm, prompting her to follow him to the little area he had set up for them.

**

A few glasses of wine in, and she’s sitting pretzel style on top of one of the pillows, giggling at a Skarsgard camping story. This time, he remincised on  camping with G, and Gustaf’s then girlfriend. Bill also tagged along, as well as a young Valter, and the trip was a memorable mess, because Valter, Bill and Alexander were forced to share a tent. Other than Gustaf and his girlfriend making their...sounds, Valter could swear up and down he heard a bear in the middle of the night- which led to him waking them up in the ass crack of night,  to sob a bit and beg them to check it out. Bill volunteered, and instead of coming back into the tent he took an intentionally long smoke break, which caused Valter to freak out even more.

 His shirt rode up as he spoke, animated and enthused as ever, exposing his sculpted, tan torso and gray boxer briefs. This was one of his top five favorite positions to be in, ‘cause he could gaze right up at her with ease, head snuggled in her lap and his long body stretched out to the maximum. If she threw in a little head scratch, ah, that was true bliss. 

“Ah...that little motherfucker, man. I miss him when he was small. Now he’s all...smart and what not.” Alexander commenced his reminiscing with a chuckle, followed with a small sigh. 

She smiled down at him, one hand brushing through his locks, the other, reaching for her wine glass and dragging the rim up to her lips. “Yeah, well, that generally happens, sweets. You have fifty million siblings, you should know this.” she said with a little tug on his hair. He winced, belting out a mumbled ouch, and pinched the side of her thigh.

“Fifty million, yeah? I’m defffintely telling my dad you said that.” he said with a goofy little giggle, raising a hand up to gently trace her cheekbone.

“You wouldn’t fucking dare, Skarsgard. You know that’s my bestie.” she said with a roll of her eyes, cutting her eyes at him playfully.

“Ooh, and I’m telling mom you said that,” he countered, changing from his index to his rough thumb, bringing his hand down to stroke her jaw-line with his large finger. A full on grin was spread across his face now, fully amused at teasing her, and her mouth dropped dramatically. 

“You’re playing dirty. I thought you missed me, sir.” She gave her best pout and sad eyes, but it only made them both laugh.

“I missed the hell out of you, and those awfully dramatic facial expressions you do. You should be an actress.” he touched the tip of her nose with his index finger, and she shook her head with a small laugh.

“Oh? There’s a joke.” she said with a little snicker, imagining the scenario briefly. She ran her hand down his tummy, tracing small circles on exposed skin. He shuddered under her touch, and he closed his eyes, snuggling his head more into her lap. It was getting later and later, and Alexander became more and more of a baby when it was close to his bed-time.

“Mmmmm.” he mumbled as adjusted, relaxing under her touch. She took a good look at him, laying their with his eyes closed. She could see every line, every tiny little wrinkle that creased up at the side of his eyes- she adored each one. Under his eyes were slightly puffy, like he was restless and needed a good rest tonight. She looked at his faded stubble that was growing back at a rapid rate from his last visit to the barber. 

“What? Does that feel good?” she asked, nibbling on the inside of her bottom lip gently as she peered down at him.

He nodded slowly, and she stopped the circles on his tum for only second, just for his eyes to shoot open and his brows to furrow down. Her eyebrows raised in surprise, and she resumed her circles. He smiled and closed his eyes, once again at ease.

She stifled a laugh, at how simple he was to please, and how lucky they both were to have found each other in a such a messy world. And it was strange...it was very rare that she craved affection, or romance, the whole idea of it made her kind of cringe sometimes- yet she felt so comfortable laying here with him, surrounded by candles and laying in a fort of throw blankets. It was oddly comforting, to know that in this moment she could just be- that there was no real need for a facade of any type of persona right in this moment. She brought her left hand to his hair again, giving him a little head rub while her other hand ran over his stomach and chest under his thin white t-shirt. It hitting her all at once, that if anything could be considered perfection, it would be this moment, with Alexander, right here.

“You could be anywhere in the world, but you’re here with me. Ain’t that about a bitch.” she joked awkwardly with shake of her head, not letting up her movements.

His eyes opened at that- but they were still half closed. Darkened blue orbs half covered by sleepy kids stared up and into her soul for a second and she had to look away.

“Please, kid, where else would I be?” he challenged, with a lazy little yawn.

She shrugged, unable to find the right words, and he chuckled at her silence, and her eyes fell back on him. She paused this time, letting her hand rest on his chest, grazing her hand his right nipple softly.. He smiled a little at the tickling feeling of that. “If I didn’t meet you..what, I’d be...drunk somewhere with Dada? Talking about some new dumb thing he saw online, listening to his stoned ass. Or maybe wandering around a hotel alone? Trying to find somewhere other than my empty room read a script.” He finished his little rant with a chuckle. “Really no where else I’d rather be.” he added softly, with a small shrug.

She was taken aback at his brutal honesty, at how he opened himself up to her- this was a rare occasion indeed. She felt her heart physically softening in her chest for him, and it ached a bit.

“Nah. You’d be out making some new art. Creating. Being dope. You know. It’s what you do. It’s in your genes.” Building up the people she cared about was in her nature, and this earned a blush and a shy smile from him. He paused, those blue orbs scanning her face, from her eyes to her nose, to her lips- then back up again to her eyes. “Oh? Tell me more.” he teased and laughed, pinching his nipple so hard he jumped. “Only teasing. Only teasing. I appreciate you and your words. I appreciate them more than you know, my love.” He gently braced himself, so he could push himself up and out of her lap, adjusting his body so he could face her.

She swung her legs over his, scooting closer into him and his warm core, and he wrapped his hands around the small of her waist, nuzzling his nose on hers with a gentle eskimo kiss. “Don’t think anyone’s ever said anything that nice to me, and for no reason.” he said, leaving a kiss on the tip of her nose.

She closed her eyes, breathing in his familiar scent. The night was winding down, minutes until twelve now. The city was still buzzing- but it was significantly quieter right now. Their soft jazz and candles were still going strong.

She shrugged and he paused, waiting for her to finish her thought, and she took a moment to gather her words. Emotions and hormones were running through her at an all time high, and it was wonderfully painful, beautiful and messy at the same damn time. She knew what she had to get off of her chest, it had been a long time coming.

She took a shaky breath, raising her head so they were both eye level, holding the sides of his face and getting a good grip with her hands before starting. He noticed the moisture from her hands seeping through, a sign of her getting nervous- that he always found extra cute.

“I love you...Alex. I’ve known...for a while. But I’ve been. I’ve been waiting for the right moment.” she said meekly, her throat constricting slightly. Alexander had been the one who said I love you first, and she was anxiously waiting for the perfect moment to reciprocate the energy. This, was it. There was no other time.

Eyes softened, he smiled, his heart quickening a few beats, before tilting his head into hers, closing the small distance in between their faces with a rough, eager kiss. She dropped his hands hurriedly from his face, wrapping them around his neck and bringing herself closer to him. He pulled her in, and she crawled into his lap, straddling him. A hand in the back of her hair he gently tugged, pulling her face back. “Fuck. I love you, kid.” Was all he could manage to get out, before she was gripping at the bottom of his tee, and putting her lips back on his, desperate for more of him, for all of him- in this moment. Little did he know, she hadn’t even revealed her secret weapons- the lingerie and his chilled Tiramisu that she was sure he would get all excited about once he realized he had an post-sex snack waiting for him.

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 31 Pt 1

The days following Sildie’s birthday passed with the usual pre Christmas rush, work, and kids. Sildie and Gustaf got caught up in the holiday spirit, buying presents, squaring away the legal paperwork, working out the logistics of moving. It was a little daunting for both of them. Then there was the Christmas party and dinner with his family Christmas Day. Out of the two, Sildie didn’t know which she was dreading the most. At least she was on vacation until the kids went back to school mid January and had the time to chew on it all. She needed this time with them, with Gustaf. The time to make sure the six of them could coexist together.

“I have some good news.” She said sitting down at the table with a fresh pot of tea after the kids had gone to bed.

“I like good news.” Gustaf smiled, and tugged her into his lap. “I like good news and you in my lap for Friday night tea dates.” He kissed the nape of her neck and lingered, the scent of her grounding him. They had reinstated their Friday night tea dates as a way to talk about anything and everything, a designated weekly vent and purge session. She’d missed them.

She reached over and grabbed her messenger bag and pulled it into her lap.

“No work.” He growled, and it wasn’t his usual playful tone. “You’re on vacation Sildie.” And he’d see that she’d get the rest and relaxation she needed.

“It’s not work. It’s my good news. Our paperwork came in today. Approved by your lawyer and mine, all we need to do is sign and I can file on Monday.” She said quietly, she still wasn’t sure this was actually happening.

“Get me a pen.” He said without hesitation and she chuckled as she held one up. She stopped him before he took the pen by gripping it tightly.

“Read it first. You know it as well as I do but read it before you sign, just in case.” She said gently. He was being rash and stupid and he knew better, read before you sign and read everything. Kissing her cheek he started to read.

“Just excited.” He mumbled. She leaned back as his arm came around her.

“I know you are but read first.” She sipped her tea and snuggled into him staring at the tree, all lit and sparkling. They were about to move in together, be a family. Her gaze rested on the digital frame that held a Christmas photo of when the twins were still babies. Quinn and Dana happy, the pang of grief echoed in her chest. Whatever it takes Quinn, she thought, I’ll see them all happy and cared for if I meet the same fate as you. Please don’t hate me for it, she said silently, he’d a good man.

After reading through it he signed the bottom and handed her the pen. She felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders once pen had been put to paper and her own signature had been placed next to his. The kids would be safe, whatever happened to her, they would be safe and cared for.

“Can I ask you something?” He said kissing her on the spot below her ear.

“Of course.”

“Move in with me?” He grinned against her skin as she chuckled. He felt suddenly alive and excited.

“Not wasting any time are you?” She laughed

“Fuck no.” He kissed her, long and slow. “I want to be in our bed. Move in with me.” He murmured.

“After Christmas. We have the party tomorrow and then dinner with your family. Boxing Day we can start moving.” She said softly. She was excited but it terrified her. They hadn’t told the kids yet, and what if they hated the idea.

“So that’s a yes?”

She giggled. “It’s a yes. Yes I’ll move in with you. Yes we can tell the kids. Yes to sleeping in our bed.”

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?” He grinned kissing her hard. It was like all his Christmas’s had come early.

“Repeatedly.” She was smiling so hard her cheeks were hurting. “At least every hour.”

“Then to keep that winning streak going, I love you Sildie.”

“Sweet man I know you do.” She placed a hand on his chest over his heart. “I love you too.”

“You’re moving in with me.” He said quietly as if the thought hadn’t really sunk in yet, that shit eating grin spreading across his face.

“Yes I am.” She whispered. His kiss was other worldly, nothing short of mind blowing.

“Are you ok to sit with the kids tomorrow? I have some shopping to do that I didn’t get a chance to do last weekend.” She asked as she filed the legal paperwork back into her bag.

“Sure. What time’s the party again? Six right?”

“Yes, and you’re sure Bill is ok with all of them?”

“He offered. I was on the phone with Alice and overheard she was booked. I think Alida and Oona are coming over for a bit too, so Lily will have a playmate.”

“I need to make sure I have something nice for them.” She said as if making a mental shopping list of things to get and do tomorrow.

“No you don’t.” He said firmly.

“Gustaf.” She sighed.

“You don’t Sildie. He’s doing it because we’re family and because he wants to.” He said gently, it would take her a while to get used to that, to be able to depend on family without feeling guilty for it. “Let him help. The poor guy has been wanting a rematch with Finn on Mario cart anyway. He’s still in disbelief that he was bested by a seven year old.” He snickered.

“Is he ok with it being overnight?” She asked sipping her tea.

“He’s fine with it. He has all the details of the hotel and the party. Things will be fine.” He reassured her, and he’d have to do it again a thousand times over before leaving tomorrow night. He kissed her neck, lingering, tasting. “I know we’ve been busy as hell the past week or so, but I miss you.” He murmured, that low tone making her belly quiver as his hands roamed under her silk blouse to find the gorgeous black lace beneath. “I’ve missed touching you.”

Between her work schedule, court, and the kids Christmas parties with friends and school camp activities they’d had a dry spell. Then there was the legal paperwork and moving in, they were both a little stressed, a little anxious. Sex hadn’t even crossed her mind until just now.

She turned in his arms to straddle him. “It’s been a rollercoaster. So much crammed into each day, I’m fucking exhausted.” She chuckled.

“I feel much the same. I like being with the kids but it’s taking a bit to adjust.” His huffed laugh was humorous. “It’s full on, all the time with them. Will your work and court schedule get easier in the new year?”

“To a point, unless I take partner and then it’ll be much the same. Which reminds me.” She fished around in her bag again and handed him her legal pad. She had the most elegant writing he noticed. “Would you take a look at this? It’s my list for Oliver and I want to make sure it doesn’t sound too demanding or ungrateful.”

“Of course.” He kissed her. “You’re considering it.”

She shrugged. “Still on the fence. I need to get past Christmas and revisit it again once we’re all moved in with you. I need to see it with a clear head.” Her kiss was tender. “Things will change when you’re out of town and I want to be sure I can handle it.”

“You’ll have my family as backup.” He said softly and twirled the loose wave of hair around his finger. “And we can always book Alice to take the pressure off you. Or we can hire a housekeeper and or a nanny. You’re not alone anymore love. If I can’t be here physically to help then I’ll find another way.” He kissed her sweetly. “When are you going to give Oliver the list?”

“In the new year. I’ve already told him I need to get past the remainder of this year, especially with all the changes. He understands and partner isn’t something they want to rush into either, even though they want me to start yesterday.” Her chuckle made him smile.

“That’s a good plan. Can I read this tomorrow?” He asked as he glanced at the pad. “I don’t think I’ll comprehend much tonight.”

“Whenever, there’s no rush.” She kissed him sweetly, her hands wandering to dip into his sweats and stroke him.

“Sildie.” He breathed. “My Sildie.” His hands streaked up her thighs and pushed her skirt to bunch at her waist before his mouth took hers tenderly.

“I need you.” She whispered. “Right here, right now.” She kissed him, mouth hot and hungry. “I want to ride you.” He hooked her g string to the side as she slipped his tip along her wet heat.

”Take what you need love.” He murmured, mouth claiming hers roughly.

It was that soft cry as she impaled herself on his cock that always made him weak for her. She rode him slowly, his massive hands on her ass grinding her into him as he stretched her, filled her.

“So big.” She moaned as she threw her head back offering him her throat. Not wasting the opportunity he savaged it, her release cresting. “Gustaf.”

“Take me with you.” He groaned as he felt her body bow before she came hard, her pussy clenching him tightly as she rode him. “Sildie.” His breath caught as he held her onto him buried deep inside her as he came, spilling his seed.

“I love you.” She said softly, his face cupped in her hands. “So much.”

“I love you too.” He held her close as they caught their breath.

She yawned. “Sorry, now I’m beat to hell.” She chuckled.

“To bed love.” He said gently with a smile. “Big night tomorrow.” He leaned his forehead against hers.

“I’m still not too keen on going.” She huffed, but she also wanted to get it over and done with so she could move on.

“I know, but I’ll be there. We can get the business end done and then enjoy a night out.” He kissed her slow, lingering to take it deeper as she relaxed.

“It’s not the dedication that’s freaking me out, it’s all the people coming up afterward to tell me how sorry they are, or stories of his time in court. I don’t know if I can handle it all being shoved in my face all night. Sorry I’m rambling and...” She closed her eyes and took a calming breath as his lips pressed a kiss to her forehead, lingering to help her find that calm she desperately needed.

“Will there be dancing?” He asked against her skin, hopeful.

“Yes.”

“Good. I’ll just dance with you for the rest of the night so they can’t talk to you.” He smiled.

“That’s not a bad plan.” She looked at him, kissing him quickly. “It beats getting shit faced and blubbering in your lap outside my front door.” She grinned at the memory.

“And we have a room in case it gets too much and you need to get the hell out of there.” He had created a safety bubble for her. A quiet space where she could retreat to because he knew at some point tomorrow night a panic attack was highly likely. “Speaking of a room. Bedroom, let’s go, because I need some damn sleep too.” He laughed. Lily had decided that 5 am was her new wake up time regardless of the holiday season and for the past week Gustaf’s sleep had been cut short. He’d made sure Bill was ok with the kids for most of Sunday because he was getting a damn sleep in after the party.

She curled into him and plummeted into sleep, exhaustion and relief that there was no work to rush off to for a few weeks taking her under hard. She’d been better since getting past her birthday. The grief was still there but it seemed manageable, like she’d turned a corner and was able to exist without it constantly consuming her. He was slightly worried that it would rear its ugly head in spectacular fashion at either the party tomorrow or with his family, he’d prefer it to be with the latter. They at least would understand and she’d have the space to distance and collect herself if needed. It felt like a ticking time bomb just waiting for her guard to be down before blowing up in her face again.

His own anxiety was a little high too, she was moving in. He wanted her with him, in their bed, under one roof, comfortable, as a family. It did not negate the fact that it was scary as hell, especially if the kids hated the idea. He’d dropped a few questions to feel them out, what they were thinking and they seemed like they’d be ok with it. He was hoping the work he’d done on their rooms made it easier. Sleep took him a little while later and it felt like he’d only just passed out when Lily was up chattering to them.

“Morning little lady.” He slurred, the cobwebs of sleep still addling his brain.

“I’ll get her.” Sildie mumbled and stretched out on top of him before kissing him sweetly. “Go back to sleep love.” She murmured. “You’ve had her and her crazy ass wake up schedule for the past week.”

“K.” He breathed and sleep took him under again.

Sildie changed a somewhat grumpy Lily and headed out to make some tea. “Well little lady if you’d just sleep longer you wouldn’t be such a grumpy pants.” She chuckled, snuggling her in and kissing her head. She would let Gustaf sleep, the man had been up with the kids and keeping them occupied for nearly two weeks while she’d been plowing through work and a mentally taxing court case. She felt a little guilty for leaving the house and kids for him to deal with and knew it wasn’t a habit she could fall into. She never forgive herself if she took advantage of him, or made him feel like she was.

Once Brendan had surfaced she left Lily with him cuddled on the couch and took a shower, Gustaf was still out cold. After spending most of the morning with the boys, she changed Lily and sat of the edge of the bed.

“Dad dad dad. Sooch.” Lily said softly.

“Time for dad dad kisses huh?” She set Lily down on the bed and stroked a hand down his chest. He snapped awake with a sharp inhale and blinked at her.

“It’s eleven love.” She said gently as he looked around wondering where the hell he was.

“Shit I didn’t mean to sleep that late.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Sorry I know you have shopping to do.”

“It’s ok you needed it.”

“Dad dad.” Lily squealed and his low chuckle made her smile.

“Hello Lily bear.” He said and lifted her up the bed to kiss the tiny girl before snuggling her in.

“Would you like some tea?”

“I would, but first.” He tugged her hand and she chuckled as she curled up with him. “My two best girls.” He murmured, the familiar sentiment choking her up. Damn it she thought, she couldn’t get emotional now, she’d never get through the night. His kiss chased that thought away, slow and loving. “Morning my love.”

“Morning.”

“You heading out shopping?”

“I’ll make you some tea first, but yes I’m about to try and do shopping.”

“Brave girl.” He chuckled. “It’ll be madness.”

“Yes but I have stuff to get.” Like for tonight, she thought. She had her dress, she just needed the underwear. And she had a plan for that underwear. She kissed him tenderly and got up to make a pot of tea.

Gustaf came out carrying Lily as she set the teapot on the table to steep for him. Her belly did a little flip at his disheveled look, all soft, warm and rumpled, still half asleep. Damn she wanted to go back to bed and snuggle with him, do erotic things to him.

“Bye love, have fun.” He kissed her softly as she grabbed her bag and left for a few hours. She’d done most of her Christmas shopping online and had them wrapped and under the tree, but needed stuff for tonight, something for Bill and something for his parents even though Gustaf had said it wasn’t necessary. For him it wasn’t, for her however, she needed to, she couldn’t turn up empty handed.

Gustaf goofed around with the kids, he’d shower before they went out tonight, but it was nice to just have a pajama day. It was relaxed and carefree, and he’d noticed that the kids had settled since he’d been staying in the apartment with them the past month or so. That was a good sign he thought, moving next door may not be as emotional or stressful.

Sildie came home around 3:30, arms full of bags. Some of it was wrapped and the kids were more than happy to place it under the tree, shaking boxes as they went to try and determine what she’d purchased.

“You look like you had fun.” He chuckled, taking one of the bags from her hand and placing it on the table before kissing her.

“I did actually. But now I have to get ready, go get my Christmas glam on.” She kissed him chastely.

“Do you want to do that here or in our room?” He asked.

“Here. All my stuff is here.” She said quietly.

“Ok, Bill texted and he’ll be here at five or so.” He kissed her tenderly. “Once you’re out of the shower I’ll go home and take one and bring my monkey suit back here.”

“Sounds good. I’ll need help with my dress at some point.” She said wickedly.

“I think I can help you with that.” He winked at her as she took her bags to her room and disappeared.

In all honestly he loved the way Sildie looked with no makeup and in sweats but he couldn’t help but fantasize what she would look like all dolled up. He went home and showered, grabbed his tux and headed back to Sildie’s in clean sweats. He didn’t want to have to put it on until the last minute. Bill arrived just after five and he sat talking to him until Sildie called out.

“Gustaf? Can you come help me please.” She called from her room.

Nothing prepared him for the sight of her in black lace and deep Christmas red heels. He shut the door and leaned on it, pinning his hands against it with his ass.

“Fuck me.” He choked and her giggle was wicked. She walked to him slowly and he shook his head. “Nope. Kitten if you touch me we aren’t going anywhere except to our bed.” He growled.

“You’ll just have to control yourself.” She purred. “Remember on my birthday when you said you wanted to see me in black lace and heels and that blindfold, tied to our bed?”

“I remember.” His voice strained, he was close to blowing his load in his fucking sweats like a teenager.

“Looks like Santa got your message. I don’t want to stay overnight at the hotel, I want to come home to our bed.” She walked her blood red nails up his chest and stroked one over his jaw. “I want you to do things to me.” She purred and kissed him sinfully. “All night long.”

He was struck speechless. He’d never had someone that played this game so fucking well.

“Cat got your tongue?” She smirked, those ice blue eyes sparkling mischievously.

“My kitten has.” He growled and her seductive chuckle make his cock twitch. “Fuck I love playing this game with you.” He breathed as she leaned a palm on his chest and kissed him.

“You need to get dressed.” She purred and palmed his erection making him groan.

“So do you or I’m going to fuck you where you stand kitten.” He growled.

“Patients daddy.” She breathed, nipping his bottom lip before sashaying over to where her dress was hanging.

He stood there and breathed, willing his cock to calm down at the mention of her endearment for him. It was difficult considering the vision in front of him. Black lace corset, g string, suspenders, lace top thigh high stocking with a red seam running up the back of those incredible pins she called legs. The red heels were four inches so they would be the same height tonight, and screamed fuck me.

She stepped into the dusty gold column sheath dress and wiggled her hips to get it on. A simple cut, figure hugging, plunging neckline, thigh high split. Modest for a formal party, devilish enough to tease Gustaf all night. She felt him stand behind her and help zip her up and secure the clasp for the deep Christmas red sash that cinched her waist and draped to the floor with the rest of the skirt. He rested his hands on her hips and kissed her neck seductively.

“You do realize I’m going to need a defense lawyer after tonight.” He said softly as he started to dress.

“Why’s that?” She asked a little confused, walking back to the bathroom to touch up her makeup and apply the 24 hour deep siren red lipstick she’d bought as a why the hell not.

“Because I’m going to have to kill every man in the room that looks at you.” He smirked pulling his tux pants on and zipping them up.

“I hope we can get a two for one deal then.” She huffed.

“Why?” He chuckled as he buttoned up his shirt and tucked it in.

She stood in front of him and ran a nail down those buttons, half tempted to strip him naked and take him in her mouth.

“Because you’re fucking royalty for one.” She scoffed. He watched her as she tied his bow tie, that bottom lip sinfully red and beckoning to him. “And every woman there is going to want you, I’m going to have to beat them off with a stick.”

He chuckled at her words and her smirk tugged the corners of her mouth. “I love you Sildie.” He said softly. “You’re the only one I want.”

“I know. You’re the only one I want too.” She kissed him, his brain melted as her tongue teased his. “Seeing you in this makes me all tingly.” She moaned biting her bottom lip.

He gripped her by the chin gently and teased his thumb over her bottom lip before kissing it, slowly. “Mine.” He growled, his eyes met hers as her pussy tingled at the possessive tone. “Are you ready to go kitten?” The intimacy swamping them both.

“Yes.” She choked breathlessly.

“Let’s get the business end of it done. Then...” He kissed her longingly. “Then kitten, I’m going to do all kinds of delicious things to you.” His low tone caused and involuntary shiver to ripple across her body. “Mmm, you like the sound of that don’t you.” It was a statement more than a question. The man was able to bewitch her with his words, his tone.

“Mmm hmmm.” She was already drunk on him. “You smell so good.” She purred. He kissed her again before pulling away, a cocky smirk on his face.

“Let’s go lovely lady.” He chuckled, sitting to slip his shoes on. Standing he held out his hand for her, his gilded goddess, her halo of molten copper cascading down her spine. And that dress was something else entirely and he knew what was hidden under it. That was going to be fucking torture all night, he thought, the little minx.

Bill almost choked on his drink when Sildie came out, the boys all standing around gobsmacked.

“Piddy.” Lily squealed pointing at Sildie from the safety of Bill’s arms.

“Yes little lady, she is very pretty.” Gustaf said and kissed her until she giggled.

“You’re sure you’re ok with this lot?” Sildie asked, still a little nervous as Liam hugged her.

“More than ok, besides I have a rematch with Finn to take care of.” He grinned. “Have fun. I’ll text you if I run into any issues.”

“Thanks again Bill. You bailed me out.”

“Anytime, they’re great kids.” His grin told her he was having just as much fun as the kids were.

Gustaf helped her into her coat and the pair set out for the hotel. She was nervous, her hands wringing in her lap as he drove was a dead giveaway. He took a hold of her hand and brought it to his lips kissing her fingers. “Just breathe love. I’ll be right here, all night.”

“Sorry.” She chuckled. “I’m on edge.”

“As expected.” He pulled up to the hotel and looked at her. “Deep breath. Together love, you and me.” He kissed her fingers again and stepped out of the car to walk around and open the door for her. Holding his hand out, he helped her to her feet, the top of her stockings peeking out from the split. Fuck me he thought, she would be the death of him. Giving the keys to the valet he slipped a hand around her waist and held her to him. “Breathe.” He said, lips at her temple. “Let the lawyer surface and take care of business.” He kissed her cheek sweetly and looked at her, his courtroom lawyer looked back. “There’s my girl.” He growled as they walked into the hotel ballroom. “I’m proud of you. You’re so fucking strong.” He kissed her, not caring who could see them. She was moving in with him, he loved her, and he wanted to shout it from the rooftops.

Her firm had spared no expense, and there were tables for at minimum 300 people. The room had a massive dance floor and stage, blue and silver glittered everywhere to turn it into a winter wonderland. Snowflakes and fairy lights, fresh flower centerpieces and silk festoons.

Gustaf took her coat and he felt his arousal spike again at seeing her, his gilded goddess on the outside, his erotic sex kitten beneath. They were met by Oliver and swept up into the throng of introductions and small talk. For Gustaf working a room was second nature, it was just like a press junket, but for Sildie it was anxiety central and to compound matters her grief was hovering waiting to pounce. Thankfully Oliver had kept them moving quickly before he could be too overwhelmed with people figuring out there was a celebrity in the house. It was one of the downsides of his chosen profession. He didn’t want that overshadowing the party, he was just along for the ride, to support Sildie.

“I owe you one Oliver.” He said as Sildie stepped away from him to talk to Dana’s partner in family law.

“How’s that?”

“For shielding me.” He chuckled.

“Thank Sildie. She sent a memo to everyone before tonight and talked to me specifically. She wanted you to feel comfortable with her family.” He smiled.

The penny dropped, this was her family, the only one she had left now that Quinn was gone.

“Ah! I see she didn’t forewarn you.” He said quietly.

“No, she didn’t.” He said wistfully, looking at the gorgeous woman just out of reach, he found his fingers itched to touch her. “She’s had a lot on her mind.”

“It’s none of my business, but I’m glad she has you, glad the kids have you.” Oliver said carefully, not wanting to overstep.

“I’m so ridiculously in love with her.” Gustaf said shyly. “And she’d kill me for telling you that.”

“Your secret is safe with me. I know the feeling.” He said looking at his husband of six years.

Oliver hesitated. “Is she doing alright?” He asked gently. “I don’t like to pry it’s not my business, but I think of her as my own daughter and she’s been through hell.”

“She’s doing better.” Gustaf said quietly, keeping his gaze fixed on Sildie. “Her grief and guilt is substantial.” He didn’t want to divulge her painful moments, it was none of anyone’s business and he wouldn’t betray Sildie’s trust by spilling it to her boss, father figure or not.

“I can only imagine.”

“I’m sorry Oliver I can’t elaborate. Her grief is her own story to tell.” Gustaf said gently, trying to be as polite as possible.

“I completely understand and apologize if that put you in an awkward position. We all felt the loss, no one more keenly that Sildie.”

“She’s doing better, so are the kids. I love her Oliver, and I’ll move the world to see her and the kids happy.” He said, feeling a need to make his intentions known.

“You’re a good man Gustaf.” Oliver said as Sildie walked back to them with Elsa.

“I’m trying.” He huffed a chuckle.

“Your past is just that, the past. We all have one and we’re all far from perfect.” Oliver held out his hand for the man walking over with Elsa slipping it around his waist and kissing him as Sildie introduced Gustaf to Dana’s partner in law.

By the time they were asked to sit for dinner he’d been introduced to probably half the room. Pulling the chair out for Sildie he had to contain his groan of disappointment, Lucas and his date had made their way over to their table.

His entire system froze as his gaze landed on her, the quick polite smile on Lucas’s lips as his eyes focused on Gustaf. The familiar prickle and wave of heat as his fight flight response kicked in at seeing a threat. You vindictive asshole, Gustaf thought silently. Throwing his sobriety and addiction in Sildie’s face was one thing, but an ex girlfriend, that was just cruel.

Sildie sat and saw where his gaze had landed.

“Hey.” She said softly and his eyes snapped to hers, concerned ice blue looked back.

“Hey back.” He smiled, he would not let this asshole get to him and ruin her night. He’d promised to be on his best behavior around Lucas and although tempting as it was to stalk over there and press his fist to his face repeatedly in an abrupt manner, Gustaf knew how much it would embarrass Sildie, she’d never forgive him.

“You ok?” She asked gently. Something was up she could feel it.

“Yeah, I just wasn’t expecting Lucas to be at our table.” He shrugged, trying not to let the woman sitting next to Lucas get under his skin either. He wouldn’t think her name, he wouldn’t say her name, she was just a blip in his life.

“Gustaf I’m sorry, I should have told you.” She said apologetically. “There’s been so much going on I forgot.”

“It’s fine love. I just don’t want him upsetting you, especially.” He let himself get lost in her for a moment, calming the white hot rage at the man across the table by running his fingers through her hair, watching it shine.

“Let me handle him. He’s just bitter and jealous.” She said quietly trying to contain her own irritation. She’d tried to get him to sit at another table but in the act of goodwill toward all men she’d let it slide, now she wished she hadn’t.

“Of what?” He chuckled softly.

“Of you love.” She kissed him tenderly, she needed to set his mind at ease. “You have the one thing he wants, the one thing he’s never going to get.” Her kiss was sultry, that hot seduction burning him from the inside out.

“I love it when you kiss me like that.” He grinned.

“I know. I’ll handle him if it comes to that, ok?”

“I know you will, but if he upsets you like the last time.” He toyed with a wave of hair she’d meticulously curled just for him. “We will have words.” His tone was unmistakably equal parts, protective and possessive. “Tonight is difficult enough for you, I won’t see him, or anyone for that matter, make it worse.”

“Fair enough, no punching him, no making a scene.” She said seriously, she didn’t need them getting into a fist fight over her in the middle of the office Christmas party. “Remember, I still have to be able to show my face in court with everyone in this room.” She said flatly, the lawyer had surfaced and was in complete control.

“I’ll only need words love. I promise I won’t do anything to embarrass you or lay a finger on him.” He kissed her tenderly not giving a shit who saw, especially Lucas, especially his ex. Lucas was the one with a problem, not him and he wouldn’t jeopardize what he had with Sildie over a few snide remarks and bringing his ex to a party. He would just ignore them, in his mind they weren’t here, he had other things to worry about.

Dinner was exceptional and she found herself enjoying the time to catch up with Elsa. She couldn’t help but flick a glance to Lucas’s date, she looked oddly familiar. They hadn’t met but she’d seen the woman somewhere before and it was irritating not to be able to place her.

As dessert hit the table she felt Gustaf’s finger stroking her thigh where the split in her dress had revealed silk lace and bare skin. His touch both calmed and aroused her. She smirked at his soft tone as he talked with Vera. The poor girl was beyond it, her voice meek and shaky as she spoke to the Scandinavian god beside her.

“Stop breaking my admin.” She whispered and Gustaf chuckled as Oliver took the stage.

“Just making small talk. She’s a good kid and very shy.” He said kissing her temple. “Deep breath love.” He murmured, his lips lingering. “Together, you and me.” His words grounded her as Oliver started speaking.

It was the usual spiel, the recap of the year, the high and lows, achievements and gains. “Tonight we start a new tradition.” He said gently and his gaze fell on Sildie. She felt her gut plummet as he continued. This was it she thought, just sit and get through it, you just have to listen and smile. “Tonight we honor the tireless work of two of our greatest attorneys, their lives and careers cut short, their compassion and humanity greatly missed.”

Gustaf stayed where he was, his hand on her thigh, an arm casually around her shoulder, his lips at her temple. He’d felt her tense, her body preparing to take flight the moment she was pushed, the moment her anxiety threatened to overwhelm her. “Easy kitten.” He growled, the tone and endearment enough to snap her out of it, her breath shuddering out. “Breathe love, I’m right here.”

“Dana excelled at family law, courageously fighting for the rights of families, mother and father, and most importantly children. Quinn was the complete opposite.” The room chuckled, including Sildie. “Quinn O’Rourke was ruthless in the courtroom, an adversary many of us here tonight faced on a daily basis. Although ruthless and stubborn, a man that could skewer holes in defense counsels case like Swiss cheese while he was prosecuting, Quinn held the same beliefs, the same compassion as Dana when defending. A rare soul that believed there was always some goodness left in a person if you took the time to look.”

He heard Sildie choke back a breath at Oliver’s words and gently squeezed her thigh. “I’m here love, you’re ok.” He whispered and kissed her temple. “Deep breath.”

“The Swedish Bar Association, in recognition of Dana and Quinn’s commitment to justice have founded an achievement award for exemplary conduct by an attorney inside the courtroom in their honor. To be awarded to someone that shows the same tenacity and compassion, the same humanity and dignity toward others as they showed, in the pursuit of justice.”

That just described Sildie to perfection, Gustaf thought silently.

“It was therefore only fitting that the first recipient to harness these qualities of such a prestigious award be Quinn’s sister, Sildie O’Rourke.”

*************

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector @lihikainanea

[embcrn]

✧･ﾟ: * ( demi-male / he/they / gustaf skarsgard ) — welcome to ireyne, [ BALDUR OLEGSON ] of [ HILAK ]. when the doom came, you were [ UNALTERED ]. at [ THIRTY-EIGHT ] years of age, the world around you changed. the act of [ INVENTOR AND DOOMSDAY CULTIST ] suits you; after all, the whispers always said you were [ EXUBERANT ] but also [ ERRATIC ]. you are [ FOR ] the doom. ( sigi / 21 / est / she/her )

ohhhh to be a week late posting the intro for your doomsday cultist. just xena and sigi tingz.

baldur was raised in a doomsday cult that began in hilak, but became nomadic due to tensions with the local hilak citizens

his mother and father were religious extremists who joined the cult before he was born, and the cult that he is in now is very different from how it looked when he grew up

he was an eccentric child, and more pacifistic than the others that he traveled with, often occupying his hands with bits of string or other crafts

when he came of age, he decided to split from the cult itself, as organized religion wasn’t his strong suit, but he kept to the notion that doomsday was coming and would spread the word wherever he went

baldur was seen as mostly harmless, if annoying, to the villages he preached the word at, but when he began to invent things that could be of use to them, people took notice

now he peddles his wares with a side of doomsday trutherism, versus his beliefs about doomsday being front and center

he met his wife hathor while on the road. she was from a different type of doomsday cult and they quickly fell in love. sometimes they travel with different sects of different doomsday cults, but mostly they keep to themselves

they have strong relationships with traveling circuses and other nomadic performers as baldur is largely nonviolent and keeps hathor from being as violent as she wants to be.

he knits and sews, since they have few resources and are unable to keep things like a loom to weave cloth with. he’s also invented several different travel looms that help him make their patchwork and unique clothing.

after the doom, baldur felt that sweet, sweet vindication and began preaching the word again, distributing pamphlets and warnings alongside the news he has come to print in ireyne

he accidentally invented the printing press once

[halfway-happyyy]

Blindsided

Anonymous request: a cute and fluffy fic where the reader attends the It premier but it’s also her first time at red carpet event because she isn’t famous. *Changed it up a little bit but the theme remains the same. Hope you enjoy*

No strings attached; giving something to someone without needing or wanting anything in return. You figured it was the best way to live your life and the only way to navigate relationships. Naturally when you met Bill, neither of you were looking for anything too serious. His career demanded far too much from him and you had been down that road more than once before; this arrangement simply clicked. 

“Come to the premier with me.” Bill slugs back the rest of the amber liquid in his pint glass, grinning at you.

You don’t hear him over the tuning-up of guitars from the start up band at the bar. “I didn’t quite catch that!” 

Bill shifts in his seat, leaning forward across the table. “Be my plus one to the It premier, it’s in a week from Tuesday. It’ll be fun. Alex and Gustaf are going.” You hear him fully at this point, though the question doesn’t entirely sink in.

 “You want me to attend the It premier with you?” 

Bill nods emphatically, his green eyes wide and bordering on glassy. He looks happy. “I do. I know it’s your first premier and I know that you get kind of nervous around crowds but it would mean a lot to me to have you there.” If you’re honest with yourself, which you always try to be, you have no reasonable explanation to say no. Bill opens his mouth to say something else but you interject, shaking your head. 

“I’ll go with you. On the condition that we go as just the way we are now.”  

Bill cocks his head to the side questioningly. “As in?” 

“Just friends.” You announce.

His eyes flash and you know instantly that you’ve said something wrong. “Why is that something that is so important to you? Why is it so hard for you to comprehend that someone may actually want something from you, other than the occasional fuck or beers at a bar?” It causes the breath to catch in your throat and you swallow hard. You watch as Bill gets up from the booth and throws a leather jacket on over his denim button up. He hesitates before he leaves and turns back to add something. “Some day someone is going to lay their heart on the line for you, and you’ll be powerless to stop them.”  

It’s only while you’re on your way to the TCL Chinese Theatre in Hollywood that the gravity of what you’re about to do, sinks in. You had decided two nights ago that you were going to go to the premier. You’re nearing the theatre and the urge to tuck and roll from the cab you’re currently in, is overwhelming. “This is it.” The cabbie announces, pulling up to a curb just before the theatre. “Though I’m not entirely sure how you’ll find your way in…” You glance up from the watch on the underside of your wrist and your heart sinks a little at the sight of a sizable gate around the entirety of the building. 

“Cheers man.” You sigh, handing him a twenty dollar bill and exiting the cab into the balmy September evening. He had obviously dropped you off at the least busy side of the building, but you could hear rumblings of voices in the distance. The only sound around you now were those of your heels clacking against the pavement underneath you. As you round the corner, you spot Alexander first. At six foot four, blonde hair, and also unbearably handsome he is standing next to Gustaf but Bill is nowhere to be seen. 

Gustaf notices you first but has to do a double take and when he realizes it’s you, he waves a hand happily and nudges Alex. “Y/n!” Alex beckons you to follow them, so you push your way through throngs of people.

“Where’s Bill?” You ask, when you eventually catch up to the two brothers. 

Alex stands on tiptoes to survey the surrounding hoards of people. “Uh… somewhere up at the front on the red carpet. We made a bit of a late entrance.” He winks in your direction. “We’re catching up with him soon though. I’m positive that he can’t wait to see you.” Your heart skips a beat in your chest. 

Bill obviously hasn’t told them about the row we got into… 

“She’s with us,” Alex tells the security guard and he let’s the three of us past the main gate effortlessly. 

It is absolute madness on the inside; men, women and children all dressed in fashion’s latest designs and agents of celebrities running around the carpet with headsets and clipboards. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to this environment; the feeling of dread is almost overpowering. 

I should not have come here tonight… 

And then you and Bill exchange confused glances from five feet apart and everything falls away. You watch, transfixed, as he realizes it’s you on the red carpet. You’re expecting him to be angry, but you receive a dumbfounded smile instead. “You made it…” He announces once he’s made his way past the interviewers and photographers. 

“We’re off to find our seats!” Alex tells Bill, jabbing him teasingly in the ribs. Bill only nods in acknowledgment and turns his gaze to yours. 

“I’d have been a fucking idiot not to come.” You murmur. “I detest crowds; they make me extremely nervous. The idea of giving my heart to someone scares the shit out of me and I spent far too much money on this dress and these heels and yet I still feel like I don’t belong here… But I needed to see you. I needed to do this for you, I am embarrassingly proud of what you’ve accomplished so far.” 

Bill shakes his head, grinning. “God, you look so fucking beautiful.” He closes the gap between you both, placing a gentle kiss to the crook of your neck. “I’m over the moon to have you here with me and to show you off.” He takes your hand in his and presses his lips to your knuckles. “I’m laying my heart on the line for you my love.” 

This causes a smile to bloom across your face, and you give a gentle squeeze to his hand. “I’m certainly powerless to stop you.”

[fucking-hell-skarsgard]

Paradise - Chapter Twelve

AN - Some swearing and mentions of sex.

September 27th - Stockholm, Sweden

Bill’s POV

~~~~~~~~~~

Watching Eva with the boys was wonderful, she was brilliant with children. It ended a bit messy with flour everywhere. Once everything was cleared I joined my brothers in the living room, they were engrossed in a video game. Eva was in the kitchen with Megan finishing dinner. I swapped with Gustaf, he sat on the sofa behind Eija, who was painting her nails.

Eva came in and sat next to him, she tried to hide a yawn.

“My brothers snoring keeping you awake?” He joked.

Eva smirked. “No, he doesn't snore. It's the constant sex that keeps me awake.”

Everyone groans while Eva and I laughed.

Valter screwed up his face. “Really that's a low blow.”

“Nah with those legs it's pretty high.” Eva cackled.

Alex held up his hand. “Okay enough with the sex jokes.”

Eva and Eija both started talking about tonight, I saw Gustaf nodding off. Megan popped her head around the kitchen door.

“Dinner's nearly done.”

Eva and Eija got up and went to help in the kitchen. We finished our game and went to help. My, Megan and Eva were dishing the plates up, dad and same were ferrying that plates to the table and Sanna were cutting up the pizzas and garlic bread.

Alex and I helped with plates while Eija sorted out the wine for us and juice for the little ones. We all sat in the places as yesterday. I made sure Lucas and Kol had napkins tucked in their t-shirts to save them from the pasta sauce. I saw Eija had poured Eva a glass of juice, not wine, I caught her eye and she smiled at me.

“Sam told me. She can't drink on her meds.”

I smiled back at her, taking my place next to Kol. Slowly everyone slid into their seats and we began eating. It was like heaven in my mouth. I loved Eva’s cooking, especially Italian. Everyone commented on how lovely it was, the boys were so happy that they had helped make dinner.

“Are you going to help me at home?” Sanna asked Lucas.

He nodded with a mouthful.

“Do all of you help at home?” My asked Eva.

She nodded wiping her mouth with her napkin. “We all help do things; cooking, cleaning, washing. None of us was bottle fed so mum tends to look after the baby, Dad and us older ones look after the little ones.”

Kol asked to try Eva’s garlic bread. I watched as he offered Eva a bite of his pizza. They swapped slices.

“What do you think?” Eva asked him.

Kol smiled handing her back her slice. “It’s good.”

I saw dad wink at her and Megan smiled. Kol was the only one that was a fussy eater, he was getting better but was still cautious of new foods. Eija and Alex were talking about tonight, excited that we could spend time together. Gustaf and Sam were whispering about something. Valter was talking to mum about his trip to Germany.

It was nice to be all together again. Eva fit right into our family as if she was the missing jigsaw piece. Everyone had told me they were happy for us and they all liked Eva which was a weight off my shoulders. Mum had cornered me while Eva was busy with dinner, she had told me that Eva would be in our family for a long time. She told me she could hear wedding bells, even though she knew how I felt about marriage. Even though mum and dad were still friends, their divorce had come as a shock. It changed my view on marriage, suddenly the vow till death do you part could be scrubbed out as if it didn’t matter. Lucas started talking to me so no one noticed my silence.

As Eva had prepared dinner she was spared the cleanup. She floated upstairs after kissing my cheek, Ragnar followed close behind her. Once everything was washed and put away my siblings migrated back to the lounge for another match. Dad, Megan, Mum and Sanna stayed in the dining room talking.

It was just after our second match started Eva came back down the stairs, taking a seat next to Eija on the sofa.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eva’s POV

I smiled and made my way into the living room. The older boys were transfixed on the video game they were playing. Eija was sat on the sofa, scrolling through her phone funny so she didn’t smudge her fresh nail polish. I sat on the sofa beside her. Her nails were a dark red colour, looking almost like blood.

“I was inspired by yours.” She nodded at my hands.

I looked down at my nails, I had them done days before I left Toronto. They were almond shaped, not too long, and were painted a lovely rich, dark cherry red.

“Thanks. I've had them done since I was 16. It was my little treat when I got sick, it always let me feel better. So where are we going tonight?”

“Sturecompagniet,” Alex said without looking away from the TV.

“I know it. One of my girlfriends is married to one of the managers, Vinnie.”

Bill looked at me, “Do you know everyone in bars.”

“Only the good ones, a girl has to have her trusted places where she can perform. I could ring up and see if V is free.”

Eija turned to her, “You can? I’ve only been in there once and feall in love.”

“Yeah and I can get Valter in too.”

Alex turned to me, “He’s old enough to drink.”

“Yeah but entry is 21 and over. We’re a month short.”

“Shit.”

“Don’t worry I can pull a few strings.”

I pulled my phone out and sent a quick message to Vinnie. He replied quickly, more than happy to put us on the list. He did warn us there would be a few people in V, but they were trusted regulars. He also would let Valter in only if he could be sensible, wouldn’t get shit faced and only had drinks inside V.

“Yep, everything’s sorted.”

Eija peered at the message on the screen and snorted. “My brother is on baby watch.”

“What?” Valter managed to tear himself away from the screen.

“Two conditions. One, no getting pissed, you will be thrown out. Two, you can only have drinks inside of V.”

He nodded, “Okay, that’s fair enough. Thank you.”

Eija and I chatted about clothing. She flipped through my work photos on my Ipad. She wanted inspiration for her makeup tonight. She didn’t realise I did the makeup for all my shoots, it was easier than hiring someone extra when we first started and didn’t have lots of money spare. She begged me to do her makeup as she loved one model's smokey grunge look.

Sam and Sanna, we’re taking Lucas home to bed, But Sam would be back after to go out with his siblings. Sanna and I whispered so the boys didn’t hear.

“I’m going to do some secret packing while he’s busy at preschool. Just let us know when we’re good to go.”

I hugged her. “Of course. I have a feeling mum will let me know sometime tomorrow.”

I knelt to hug Lucas goodbye. He kissed me on the cheek before hiding behind his mother’s legs. Sam hugged me and told me he’d see me later. After they left Megan took the boys up to bed. Kol climbed into my lap to give me a hug.

“Can you read me a story?”

“Is it okay if we do it tomorrow. We’re going out.”

“To a party?”

“Yeah for big kids.”

He laughed. “Watch for Alex. He gets funny when he has too much sugar.”

I tried not to laugh. “Don’t worry I'll look after all of them.”

“Okay.” with a kiss on my cheek he climbed down and followed his mother upstairs.

Eija leaned closer, “He loves him.”

I sighed, “I love him too.”

“Do you have a sibling his age?”

“Yeah, my sister Lena is a month older than him. They’re both so similar, I think they’ll get on great.”

“Could be his first girlfriend.” Eija waggled her eyebrows.

“Ha. Lena wouldn’t, she’s more of a cat person.”

“That’s a sensible way to be. Cats are arseholes but they're better than men.”

“Amen.”

I checked the clock on the wall and saw the time.

“We’d better go get ready.”

Stellan appeared in the kitchen doorway. “Hadn’t you guys go get ready?”

Eija and I looked at each other and smiled. The boys finished their game while Eija and I went upstairs. I changed into a sexy underwear set and pulled my silk robe over the top. Bill came in as I was tying the sash.

“Alex called the taxies. They haven’t got one big enough so we’ll have to take two cabs. The second one will be a bit later than our cab.”

I dug my hair accessories bag out of my case. “That’s fine. It gives me and Eija time to get ready. Plus we can take Valter, then he won’t have a problem getting in.”

He pecked my cheek before entering his wardrobe. “You’re not just a pretty face babe.”

Eija knocked on the closed door, I pulled it open. “Oh, you’re ready. I’ll need help carrying my stuff.”

She helped me carry my makeup and hair products. Ejia sat on the end of her bed watching my style my hair in her vanity. Using straighteners I tamed some of the curls and used the heat to set curls in place, I pinned them up as I went along.

I sat on the end of the bed while she showed me her clothing options for tonight. We finally decided on a black, off the shoulder bodycon dress with thin crisscross straps over shoulders. Paired with barely-there sandals in burgundy and a leather, biker jacket.

After seeing her outfit she let me pick whatever I thought would suit her. I settled for loose messy curls, sexy but still a bit edgy. I let her curls drop to help with the boho look. A simple dark smokey look, to make her blue eyes pop. She looked like she belonged in a spy movie. Thankfully I had brought all of my things back from Canada, so I had my full range of foundation. I mixed two together to get the perfect match for her.

There was a knock on the door.

“It’s cool we’re decent.”

The door opened revealing Valter. “The boy's taxi will be here in ten, our taxi will be about 40 minutes.”

I nodded, “We’ll be ready by then.”

He hung in the doorway not moving.

I turned away from Eija’s face, “Yes Vatler?”

He half smiled, “Can you do my hair.”

I laughed. “Yeah give me 20.”

He nodded and closed the door. Once it was clear both Eija and I giggled quietly.

“So what was it like when Bill told you how he felt?”

I paused. “I didn’t expect it. I’ve liked him from the beginning but we both mutually agreed that it would be better to keep it casual. It was a lot easier especially with us working in different places. Plus the reunion sex was always amazing.

Eija held up her hand. “Okay, ewww. Please refrain from talking about your sex life.”

I went back to blending her eyeshadow. “Okay sorry. Keeping it casual just worked at the time. When he told me about Alida I stopped everything completely and went back to being friends.”

She huffed. “That girl.”

“I know there are no words.”

“So excuse my girlish curiosity… Did you sleep with anyone else while Bill was dating her.”

I nodded. “Two people. One was a bit of fun, for a couple of weeks and I had a random one nighter. He’s a friend. It wasn’t planned at all, we got a bit drunk, slept together and in the morning we both agreed that it wouldn't happen again.”

“Do you mind me asking who.”

“Bill knows about the one night stand but he doesn’t know who it was or about the fling.”

She held out her pinkie. “I won’t tell, I promise. Girls honour.”

I linked my pinkie with hers. “The fling was with Alex Høgh, from the Vikings series Gustafs in.”

“Holy shit! No way! He’s yummy. How did it happen?”

I sat down next to her. “I was Ireland for a bit helping at a friends bar for a couple three weeks. Your brother came in with the cast, and we just hit it off. Spent the next three weeks fucking.”

Eija lay back on her bed and laughed. “He’s so hot. You did well.”

I sighed. “That’s not the best one.”

She sat bolt upright. “Spill.”

I wet my lips. “I had a one night stand with Tom.”

Her face moved from confusion straight to realisation. “Hiddleston?”

I nodded.

She squealed. “OMG! How?”

I fiddled with the brush in my hands. “I went back to London for a doctor’s appointment, he had a two days before he flew to Australia for Thor. It was just after his break up with Taylor, he came over and we had dinner. Two bottles of wine later we end up in bed together. In the morning we both agreed that it was a one-off and being friends was fine for us.”

“Holy shit. It's good he doesn't know.”

“Well, he didn't ask who. But I won’t lie if he asks.”

“That’s because you two love each other silly.”

I smiled and caught the time in her clock. “Okay back to work.”

“I didn’t realise you had a Bill complex. Tall, dark and handsome.”

I turned to rummage in my makeup bag, hiding the pink flush on my cheeks. “I didn’t plan it. They just happened.”

“Changing the subject, how did you get so good with makeup?” she asked as I chose a lip colour for her.

“When I was getting diagnosed I was on bed rest a lot. There's only so much tv you can watch and books you can read. Mum bought me a few pieces of makeup and let me play around with it. The in uni one of my housemate did special effects and makeup so I learnt loads from her.”

“Lucky you, mum was never really big on makeup.”

“You don’t need it anyway, you’re gorgeous. Okay, I’m thinking this pink.” I held up a lovely rose pink liquid lipstick.

“So it’s a nude?”

“Well more like an enhancer of your natural colour. I find nude on pale ladies makes you look dead.”

She took the tube off me so I could start on my own makeup. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

After she finished her lips she watched me with fascination as I transformed my face. I went for my go-to formal look, winged eyeliner and red lipstick. It really didn’t take me long at all. After perfecting the look five years ago every time I do it I get quicker and quicker. Once I was finished I began packing away my kit. We placed all my kit back into Bill’s room, I left the hair bag on top so I could finish my look. I left the pins in my hair as I went to help Valter.

I knocked on the door. He opened it still in his clothes from earlier. “Thank god. I’m so lost. I have no idea what to wear.”

I laughed as he let me in. Heading straight for his wardrobe I rummaged through his clothes. I looked back at him sitting on his bed. I pulled out slim-fitting black dress trousers and a crisp black shirt. I handed both items to him.

“Put these on and I'll be back.”

I went back to bill’s room and grabbed a tub of hair paste and a comb. I knocked on his door and waiting for the okay before opening. He looked sharp but needed a final few touches. He sat on his bed while I worked on his hair. He had recently got a trim so the top was nice and long but the sides were shaved down. Using the paste I slicked the top back away from his face. I washed my hands in his bathroom before leaving the paste on his side. I saw him catch himself in the mirror.

“Holy shit. Bill was right, you know what you’re doing.”

I smiled going back to his wardrobe. “Thanks, I guess you asked him for help, and he told you to ask me?”

He nodded. I found a pair of slightly worn in Dr Martens brogue boots, I handed them to him. I went back to jackets and was torn between a nice suit jacket in burgundy or a lovely biker jacket I found at the back. I held one in each hand.

“Okay, what one?”

He looked between the two, “I don’t know what do you think.”

“Well, the suit jackets more like I'm a nice man that will take you to breakfast after we have sex. The leather jacket says I’m the kind of man that will fuck you and not leave a number.”

He laughed, “Let’s be bad.”

I handed him the jacket to him and put the suit jacket back in the wardrobe. There was a knock on his door, Eija popped her head round.

“Taxi will be about 5.” She saw Valter, and her jaw dropped. “Oh my God.”

I laughed. “Yeah, I know. I just need to get sorted.”

Back in bill's room, I pulled on my stockings clipping them to my garter belt. I slipped on my black dress and heels, I finished my hair using the mirror in the bathroom. I perfected my hairstyle with help from a few pins and gave it a coat of hairspray. I slipped on my jewellery from my box on the dresser. I touched up my red liquid lipstick in the mirror as Bill’s door opened.

Eija stood there catching sight of me. “Jesus you’re hot. I’d totally do you.”

I laughed. “Thanks. Can you zip me up please?”

She pulled up my back and hooked the top closed. I pulled my velvet jacket over my shoulder and made sure my wallet, phone, lipstick and powder were in my clutch. I hooked the chain on my shoulder.

“Okay, I’m good.”

Valter was waiting for us downstairs as well as the rest of Bill’s family, minus Bill, Gustaf and Alex. My caught my eye and winked. Megan pulled her phone out and asked us to pose. She took a few pictures of us. Eija and I were the same height and with heels on we were level with Valter

Stellan put his arm round Valters shoulders. “Well, Eva you turned him into a good-looking man.”

Eija laughed. “He looks like roman.”

Valter looked at me and I smirked. “Well, it was the only thing I could think of.”

Lights flickered through the window.

“Taxi’s here. Okay, guys be safe and look after each other.” Stellan handed me a key on a chain and some money. “For the taxi, I gave the same to the boys. The keys are to get in later, I know you'll be sober enough not to lose them.”

He was an amazing dad, “Thank you. I’ll look after everyone.”

I took the key and tucked it into the secret pocket of my bag. Valter got in the left side behind the driver, Eij slid into the middle and I took the right seat. Everyone waved from the window as the taxi pulled out of the drive. It was about 30 minutes later we were pulling up in front of the club.

I recognised one of the bouncers at the door, and as I got closer he realised who I was.

“Eva! What a surprise.”

We hugged and kissed cheeks. “Hello Dimitri, We’re up in V.”

Dimitri didn’t even bother to check the list. “Of course my dear. You know where you’re going? Or do you need a guide.”

I smiled. “We know where to go.”

Once inside we made our way upstairs. Vinnie was waiting by the small coat check for V. We hugged and I introduced him to Eija and Valter. The two of them checked their coats and went ahead to find the boys while I talked to Vinnie.

~~~~~~~~~~

Bill’s POV

When the taxi pulled up outside Sturecompagniet the line was already around the corner. We climbed out and Sam paid the driver with dad's money. My phone beeped and I saw a message from Eva.

Go see the bouncer give them my last name. He'll check your IDs against the list.

Someone will show you upstairs. See you soon, I love you xxxxx

Gustaf read the text over my shoulder.

“It's funny. You're the movie star and your girlfriend is more famous than you.”

I elbowed him in the ribs. “Let's go.”

The boys followed me up the steps. The entrance was guarded by five burly men. I stepped up to the one with the clipboard.

“Hi, table reserved under Bianchi.”

He checked his list. “Got it. ID please gentlemen. “

We reached for our wallets and handed him our IDs. He checked our four names off the list then handed them back to us.

“Thank you very much. If you go in the door and to the right. Someone will show you upstairs.” He smiled.

We followed his instructions and found another duo of burly men. One of them stepped forward.

“Good evening gentlemen, my name is Vinnie. Eva told me who to expect. I'll show you upstairs.”

The other man unhooked the ruby rope and we followed him up the stairs. He stopped before a young woman.

“This is Olivia, she's in charge of V. She'll take your coats and show you through to the bar. Enjoy your evening.”

He shook our hands and made his way back down the stairs. We handed our jackets to Olivia and she tucked them into a large locker with a number 1 embossed in gold.

She smiled. “There’s one locker for each table. That way no-one has to worry about losing their number or picking up the wrong jacket.”

She was dressed in a smart black dress with a white colour and heeled shoes. She hung our jackets up and walked us into the club through the double doors.

V club was relatively quiet there were a few couples or groups here and there. Nobody paid any attention to us. Olivia showed us to the booth next to the bar, it had a small gold reserved plaque that he removed. She smiled at us.

“I'd there's anything you need, one of the bar staff can call for me.” she retreated back to her podium at the top of the stairs.

One of the bar staff came over and took our drinks order.

Alex leaned back onto the bench. “So… what happened with Alida?”

I huffed. “We've been fighting for a while. It’s hardly a big surprise, we never see each other anymore. I guess we've started to realize we want different things. I want kids, she doesn't. She wants to get married but you know how I feel about that. She wants me at home more but with all the work I have, I can't do it. Then she doesn't want to travel with me longer than a few weeks, so we barely see each other.

Sam shook his head. “That's tough man.”

“Two weeks before filming finished we had a fight over the phone, she told me she wanted some time apart. In London Eva and I talked.”

Gustaf snorted. “I know full well you two did more than talk.”

I smiled. “I had a nightmare, and we ended up in bed together. After her performance, we both confessed our feelings for each other.”

The waitress placed our drinks on the table. I took a large mouthful of the ice cold beer.

Alex smiled over his glass. “I just can't believe it's taken you nearly 5 years to do it.”

I saw Sam and Gustaf confused look at our older brother.

“What am I missing?”

I saw Alex blush and I laughed.

“He walked in on us. Coachella 2014.”

Alex blushed harder and Gustaf laughed at his reaction.

“In my defence, I thought you were alone.”

I smirked. “In our defence, you should have knocked.”

He laughed. “That's true. I just saw someone on top of him, recognised the tattoo and retreated as fast as I could.”

We all laughed.

Alex took a sip of beer. “The morning after Eva did make breakfast. Then you two told me everything.”

Gustaf sat back. “I'm impressed you kept your mouth shut for so long.”

He and Alex fake bickered like old ladies. My phone beeped again and I saw Eija had sent a message saying they had left.

“They've just left home.”

“they'll be another 30 minutes. More than enough time to talk. So what happened after?” Alex smiled.

“I went to see her the day after we came home. She tried to tell me that she didn't really mean what she said. It was a moment of madness, she was angry and upset.”

I drained the rest of my pint. “She started going on about how it was all my fault if I wasn't away so much she wouldn't get upset. I told her that I had taken her seriously and that I didn’t want to get back together this time. I was honest with her, I told her as we were separated I had slept, someone. That's  when she slapped me, she started screaming that I was a cheater. I just told her that I never cheated on her and that I wasn’t getting back with her. Then I left.

They were speechless.

Alex spoke first. “Christ I didn't think she'd act like that.”

I shrugged. “Neither did I. But here I am three days later and the happiest man in the world.”

Sam laughed. “She’s amazing. Great with kids, cooks like a dream.”

Gustaf smiled. “She’s lovely. You two are perfect together.”

I blushed, “Yeah she’s amazing. We want the same things in life.”

“Babies?” Alex laughed.

“She can’t have them. Well, there’s a tiny chance.”

I explained about Eva’s accident and her injuries. How there was only a very small chance of her conceiving a baby and an even smaller chance of carrying the baby long enough that it might survive.

They were shocked and upset. They now knew how strong she was. Living with that want every day, being around children and not getting upset. When she told me I was upset for her, that night I did cry. I know why she didn’t tell me, but I would have like to know so I could share her grief and sorrow.

Gustaf squeezed my shoulder. “I think the two of you will get there, someday.”

I smiled. “Mum thinks so too. She was adamant even after I told her.”

Alex laughed, “Well you know mum. She always gets a feeling about certain things, and is never wrong.”

“It’s a woman’s thing.”

We all looked up and saw Eija and Valter stood by our table. Alex moved closer to Sam and the two of them slid into Alex’s side of the booth. Eija looked like a supermodel, tall and slim. I knew Eva had done her makeup and hair because Eija wouldn't’ have the skill to create her look, I suppose having 7 brothers didn’t help. Valter looked like the definition of a bad boy. With the slicked hair and dark clothes, he looked like Roman.

“Where's Eva?” I asked.

“Oh, she's talking to Vinnie.”

The waitress came over and took their drinks order.

Alex turned to our little brother. “You're looking sharp. What happened?”

Valter rolled his eyes. “Eva helps me. So you're saying I look like shit all the time?”

“Noooo… not all.” Alex tried not to sound sarcastic. Valter stuck his middle finger up.

“Eva knows her shit.” He turned to me. “Thanks for making me.”

I shrugged. “She knows what she's doing.”

I saw Alex’s mouth dropped. Gustaf noticed and turned to look at what Alex was staring at, I saw his eyes widen. Bill looked and sniggered, finding the looks on their faces amusing. I turned to Eija and she winked pointing behind me at the door. I turned in my seat to see Eva walking through the door.

Holy shit.

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 23 Pt 2

He let her sleep in, knowing that tomorrow she’d have to be up at five and rushing around. With the kids ready and lunches made he watched her sleep, etching that picture in his mind. He sat on the edge of the bed and toyed with her hair, content as it fell through his fingers. She didn’t stir which told him she’d slept heavy and well, which was what he was after. He kissed the nape of her neck and she breathed in sharply, head wobbling up off the pillow as she got her bearings.

“Cases to slay my lovely lawyer.” He murmured, kissing her temple as her head flopped back on the pillow.

“I was hoping time had stopped so you’d still be snuggled with me.” She chuckled.

“The sooner I go the sooner I’ll be back.”

She rolled and looked at him. Crisp white shirt and jeans. Was the guy TRYING to kill her. She hooked a finger into the V and pulled him to her for a kiss, sinful and slow.

“You can’t kiss me like that before you have to go to work.” He growled.

“Well you shouldn’t have worn that shirt.” She shot back and grinned against his mouth. “You know what that does to me.”

“Maybe it’s all part of my plan.” His eyebrows wiggled and she laughed, he was such a goofball. “There’s always the parking garage.” He grinned and she playfully slapped him.

“You’re never gonna let me live that down are you?” She said sitting up and kissing him before climbing out of bed.

“Not a chance, besides...” He caught her around the waist with a chuckle and pulled her to him, naked and already aroused. “I like playing this game with you.” His growl sent a shot of heat to her core.

“You might get lucky at lunch. You still coming?” She asked softly.

“I’ll be there, but you’ll be the one coming love.” He kissed her, devoured that mouth until she whimpered. “Get in the shower.” He said softly. “You can’t be late.”

“Tease.” She quipped playfully.

“Pancakes?”

“Sure.” He walked her to the bathroom door before prying her hands from around his neck kissing them both.

“This weekend can’t come soon enough.” He murmured and kissed her sweetly.

“As long as you bring this shirt with you.” She grinned.

“Oh it’s already a done deal.” He chuckled and let her get in the shower.

She made his head spin and his world light up, so did the four kids at the table. Lily squealed for him with a dad dad and he cleaned her up before pulling her out of the high chair.

“Do you have to go?” Finn asked quietly.

“Only for a little bit. I’ll be back Wednesday morning.” He hugged the kid close sensing that the separation for him would be worse this time around. “It’s just work buddy and if I could, I’d take you all with me but you have school, I have work, and I need someone here to make sure Ama is ok.”

“We’ll make sure she eats.” Brendan said quietly as he watched her bedroom door, the kid knew what Gustaf was asking.

“It’s getting her to stop work and sleep that concerns me.” He chuckled. “But yes, please make sure she eats. And I have a special job for you Finn, if you’re up for it?” The kid nodded. “I need you to give Ama a big hug from me before you go to bed, when you get up, and when you get home from school ok?”

“I can do that.” His grin spread wide.”

“I knew I could count on you.” He said as he ruffled the kids hair.

She would be the death of him walking in dressed as she was. Dark brown suit, gold shirt that shimmered with burgundy, and that damn black lace he could just glimpse under it, the sky high heels that put them eye to eye, and her hair neatly coiled up in that fucking clip. His goddess, sexy as fuck.

He stood at the counter and watched as she hugged the kids and made her way over to him. With a cheeky smirk across her dark burgundy tinted lips she stopped in front of him and let her fingers sneak into the V of his open shirt. Her kiss was smoldering, that slow deep kiss that set his brain on fire.

“Good morning love.” Her purr only added to his predicament, to fuck her now quickly or make her wait. She kissed him sinfully, pouring herself into him. “Cat got your tongue?” She asked when she let him breathe again, those ocean blue eyes finding hers as she gazed at him from under her lashes.

His hand seductively trailed her hip and fanned out over her lower back before he pulled her in close. He ghosted her lips and jaw before kissing her cheek and lingering. Damn she smelled delicious.

“No, but a sex kitten might have more than my tongue.” He growled, nipping the shell of her ear gently. “You might find yourself in a predicament at lunch time.” He kissed her tenderly. “Is your office private, does it have a lock?”

“Yes.” She chuckled. “But we can’t, not there I’ll get fired if we’re caught.” She said seriously and although it would be thrilling to have him fuck her there she couldn’t risk it, shouldn’t risk it.

“There’s always the parking garage.” He quipped and her laugh had him grinning. “Either way love, I’m having you before I leave today, and we won’t get caught. I’ll make sure of it. Eat, fuel up. You’re gonna need it.” He kissed her and reluctantly let her go.

“Can you get out for lunch earlier?” He asked as he placed a plate of pancakes in front of her a little while later.

“I’ll certainly try.”

With the kids fed and clothed, lunches packed, Sildie stood on her threshold and looked at him. Her gorgeous man in a white button down and slim fitting jeans, life couldn’t be more perfect than right now she thought. That smile on his lips, only for her.

“I’ll text you when I’m on my way.” He murmured.

“You in court this morning?” He asked.

“No it’s an office day today.” She kissed him and lingered, fuck he smelled so good she wanted to bury her face in his neck and nibble.

“Good to know.” He grinned. Cupping a hand behind her neck he held her a breath away and let his eyes drift over her before he kissed her so her toes curled and her mind blanked.

“I’ll see you later.” She sighed as she stepped away and into the elevator.

He heard the devilish chuckle as she bit her lip, doors almost closed. Damn if she didn’t make him hard and wanting.

One day love.

Came his text as she got in the car and she couldn’t help the small whimper at what he’d done to her that day. He was right, every time she did it she thought about how he’d immobilized her and fucked her senseless.

He tidied up her apartment from breakfast and went home to pack, not that he’d need much. He sat with a fresh pot of tea and took care of some last minute emails and by eleven he was heading out the door for a cab. He texted her on the way and grinned, damn he wanted her, like a randy fucking teenager.

He took the short walk to her office and was surprised when the receptionist walked him straight back, she’d told them he was coming. He thanked the receptionist and was sure his smile made the girl sigh. Her office wasn’t what he’d imagined as he glanced around. Dark wood, old time male Executive. He wondered now if the light and bright office they’d made for her would be a good fit. He could always change it if she hated it.

She was standing with her boss as he entered and after the usual pleasantries were observed they were finally alone. He placed their lunch on the coffee table and let her say goodbye to her boss. She closed the door quietly and he pressed her against it gently. His kiss was tender but seductive, that erotic taste flooding her system.

“I want you.” He murmured, flicking the lock on her door quietly.

“Gustaf I’ll lose my job if we get caught.” She said honestly but her pussy clenched at the thought of him taking her here.

“Then we’ll make sure we don’t get caught.” He growled and kissed that treacherous spot below her ear. Her low moan made his cock twitch in response. “Lets eat.” He said softly. Her grin against his lips before he kissed her made him laugh. “Done by one right?”

“Yeah, I have a one o’clock with Lucas.” She smirked and felt his gaze as his hands tightened.

“Well, you’d better eat so I can see you’re properly satisfied before then.” He grinned.

They talked over their meal, plans for Christmas Eve, for Christmas Day, and skirted her birthday. He wouldn’t push that today, he wanted to be home if she was going to be mad at him or fall apart or maybe both. It was his idea, the kids just jumped on board, he’d take the heat if it came to that.

“This office doesn’t really suit you.” He said quietly. “Too dark.”

Her peal of laughter made him smile. It had been a while since he’d heard that laugh.

“To tell you the truth, I fucking hate it. It’s too dark, too much wood, too much male executive ego, if I’m being honest.” She said as she cleaned up their containers and dumped it in the trash.

“The one good thing though.” He said stepping to her and pulling her sharply into him so her spine rested against his chest. “Is it has a lock on the door.” He growled.

“We can’t. It will be my ass in a sling.”

“Do you trust me?” He murmured, and kissed her neck where her blouse had opened.

“Yes.” She sighed as he chipped away at her control.

“We won’t get caught.” He turned her in his arms and kissed her, that slow burn that made her moan softly. “You’ll have to be quiet love.” He purred as he took her by the hand and led her to her desk.

He sat in her chair and spread his legs wide so she could stand between them. Those talented hands drifted up her thighs and disappeared under the hem of her skirt slowly, bunching it up around her waist. He kissed her as a finger stroked over her g string and he groaned into her mouth.

“You’re soaked for me already love.” His arousal surged at the thought of sinking his cock into that wet heat.

He devoured her mouth as his fingers ripped her g string down and held it as she stepped out of it. Those fingers tormented her thighs on the way back up before they destroyed her pussy. He had her teetering on the edge in minutes. He spun her quickly and continued to keep her hovering on that edge as he unzipped his jeans.

Damn him and those fingers she thought as she tried desperately to hold off until he was inside her. The sound of his zipper made a soft whimper escape and she swallowed it. They’d be so fucking dead if they were caught, she’d be fired, on the spot fired. It was reckless but she found she couldn’t resist him.

“Hands on the desk.” He growled and nipped her ear.

No sooner had her palms hit the timber he stroked his head over her labia and thrust in hard. She gasped his name as he started to move, urgent powerful strokes that filled her deep. She rocked back to meet his thrusts and that was the end of them both.

He pistoned his hips, hard, fast, brutally urgent. His fingers tormented her sensitive bud and he felt her tremble.

“Go over, don’t hold back.” He growled and pounded into her, fingers furiously circling her clit.

She came hard, almost cracking her teeth she clenched them so tightly so she didn’t scream his name how she wanted to. As her pussy clamped around his cock tightly he thrust faster until his release crashed through him. He leaned forward and kissed the back of her neck before pulling out and zipping up.

With a shit eating grin he sat in her chair, cleaned her up with the scrap of lace before pocketing it, and tugged the hem of her skirt down while she stood there trembling and panting. He pulled her into his lap and kissed her tenderly.

“You’re evil.” She said pointing a finger at him, that sly smirk twitching her lips.

“Didn’t get caught though.” He grinned.

“It can’t become a regular thing.” She said sternly. “I just find it really hard to resist you when you touch me like that.”

“Thank you.” He said softly and trailed a finger down her jaw. “For indulging me.” He kissed her, that love he held onto so tightly pouring out of him.

“Don’t make it a habit ok?”

“I won’t.”

They sat there for the remaining ten minutes in each other’s arms, stolen kisses that spoke volumes.

She knew all eyes were on them as they walked out. She’d have to get used to it when they went out in public together. She didn’t like it but that was part of his deal, the celebrity he was.

“Looks like you turned my admin into a puddle of goo, what did you say to her?” She chuckled when they were waiting for the elevator.

“Hello.” He said simply. “She was a little stunned when I told her I was here for you.”

“I don’t think she believed me when I said you would be joining me for lunch.” She said and as soon as the elevator doors opened his mouth found hers destroying every thought in her brain. He left her dizzy.

“I’ll call you when I land.” There was no way in hell he was going to fuck this up again.

“See that you do love.” She kissed him tenderly. “You’re my everything Gustaf, remember that when it gets rough ok?”

“I’ll text you or call you if it gets bad. I promise.” That was a promise he had every intention on keeping from here on out. “Bye love.” He kissed her again and couldn’t help notice the lawyer sitting in the waiting room watching them as he drew back. It was her opposing counsel. He grinned and kissed her like it was with his last dying breath. Mine it said, hands and eyes off.

“Bye. Be safe please.” She said, her voice quavering.

“Always.” As the doors closed she let the steadying breath out. His last kiss left her lightheaded and swimming in arousal.

She straightened herself and walked back to the office as if nothing had just transpired. She saw the look her admin gave her and chuckled. Gustaf has ruined her, poor kid.

“Hi Lucas, come on back.” She said cheerfully, there was no stopping the smile.

Lucas waited until they were in the conference room alone before asking.

“So you’re dating a Skarsgård?” He asked quietly.

“I am, however that’s not up for discussion, even an off the record discussion.” She said firmly.

“You know his history?” Lucas asked, he was concerned and he was also painfully in love with her. What did the junkie have that he didn’t he wondered.

“Lucas, I appreciate your concern, but yes, I do know his history, and I’ll say it again, it’s not up for discussion.” She glared at him. He knew that glare. “My private life and who I choose to date is none of anyone’s business, including yours. Drop. It.”

He put his hands up in an I surrender. “I just want to see you happy Sil. The kids...”

“Are fine.” She snapped cutting him off and glared at him over her glasses. “And I am happy.” She said with a smile and a finality he knew all to well. “Deliriously. Now, let’s talk depositions.” She opened the file he’d placed on the table and pushed her anger down. “Also, don’t call me Sil, you know I fucking hate it.” She glared at him and he knew he’d crossed a line.

She walked Lucas out and closed the door to her office for a brief moment breathing out a shaky sigh. Where the fuck did he get off she thought, the anger bubbling up? She got the whole looking out for her thing but where the fuck did he get off? She was a grown ass woman, raising her brothers four kids, in love with a man that had given her more in the past few months than anyone had ever done throughout her entire life, with the exception of her brother. It irritated her when people stuck their nose into her business, her private life.

She was responsible for the safety of those kids not Lucas. And in what fucking universe did he think it was ok to call her Sil, only her brother got to call her that? Her inner fury was interrupted by Gustaf’s tone and she smiled, he’d landed.

“Hi lovely lady.” He murmured, she could hear the smile in his voice.

“Hi.” She breathed out relieved, and tried to contain the anger in her voice.

“You ok?” He asked. Fuck she thought the man picked up on that anger and frustration from one word, damn it he knew her too well.

“Yeah, just shit, I’ll be ok, can we talk about it when you get home?” She asked quickly.

“Of course. Unless you want me to phone in later tonight and we can chat? Get it off your chest so it’s not eating at you?” Please, he thought, please let me in love, he pleaded silently.

“Yeah ok. I’m sorry.” She didn’t want to tell him about Lucas because, well, all males got possessive and pissy when another male either showed interest or upset their woman. She knew Gustaf would be no different and with the Ana stuff still hanging over them she didn’t want to spark something while not face to face.

“It’s fine love, together remember?” He had no idea what had upset her but he wouldn’t have it destroying her over the next few days while he was away.

“Ok.” She breathed out, feeling somewhat better that he would be there to listen.

“Whatever it is love we’ll tackle it together. Breathe.” He said softly, and smiled when she let the stressed out breath she was holding whoosh out. “I have a dinner meeting tonight. I’ll call after, around ten or so?”

“I’ll be up.” She scoffed. “Reading as usual.”

“I had no doubt.” He chuckled. “I miss you Sildie.” He said softly.

“I miss you too, so ridiculously.” She chuckled. “I have to go my four o’clock is here.” She said as her next client walked in the door.

“I’ll call you tonight love.”

“Ok, Bye.” She hung up, squared her shoulders, and got back to business. She couldn’t let this minor hiccup derail her or the progress her and Gustaf had made in the past week.

Gustaf tapped his phone in his hand thinking while they drove to the hotel. His thoughts ran to the worst case scenario that someone had heard them fooling around in her office and she had been fired, but she was still at work so maybe that wasn’t it. It wasn’t grief either, he knew that sound in her voice and this was more annoyance and irritation than grief. He’d give her the time this afternoon to chew on it before prying it from her, it was how her brain worked. She needed time to process it before she dealt with it.

The remainder of her day went by quickly and without fuss, just how she liked it. The kids were a little down as they came home knowing Gustaf wouldn’t be there tonight. However their faces lit up when he squeezed a quick five minute call in before his dinner meeting to talk to them.

She stayed in the kitchen while they had their time with Gustaf. Her heart lightened hearing the laughs and jokes fly between them, Lily perched on Brendan’s lap squealing a dad dad at him. His laugh was relaxed, unrestrained. Sildie grinned, he was moving past it all, finding that peace he craved, he deserved.

Dinner was happier, the call with Gustaf being just what they needed. Reassureance, that connection with him, that they were important, that he cared. Finn came out to her well after she’d tucked them in and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

“You ok kiddo?” She said ripping her glasses off. She was a little concerned as he’d gone to bed without fuss.

“Yep, I just promised Gustaf I’d give you big hugs from him before bed because you’d miss him hugging you.” He said and hugged her again. “I forgot to do that before bed.”

Her heart got stuck in her throat. “You give the best hugs.” She said softly and hugged him tightly.

“Do you miss him?”

“Gustaf?” She asked and the kid nodded. “Very much. But he has work to do, just like me, and just like you have school. It’ll get easier.” She hoped, fuck she hoped it did because today seemed harder than the ones before it.

“Night Ama, love you.”

“Love you too. Back to bed now, straight to sleep.” She watched him go and smiled, Gustaf had tried to ease them into this separation and her heart swelled.

She was deeply in lawyer land when he called.

“There’s my beautiful lawyer.” He said as his face popped up on the screen. Damn she missed him, that smile, those crows feet she desperately wanted to rub her thumb over. “Sorry it’s so late love, I got tied up.” He said as she looked at the clock, it was just after eleven.

“It’s ok I’m still reading.” She smiled and put her work to the side. She picked up the laptop and moved it to the kitchen counter so she could make tea. “Everything go ok for you?”

“It was fine, those meetings are always laid back.”

“Thank you for calling earlier, the kids were miserable on the way home knowing you weren’t going to be here tonight.” She said gently. “I miss you.” Her voice was quiet.

“I miss you too love.” He could see it, the sadness that they were miles apart. “I figured they would be feeling a little down. They doing better now?”

“Yes, they’re good. We had another long talk about you being away for work. It’ll be fine, with time it’ll get easier.” She sighed. “I hope.”

“I’m sorry love.” He knew it was tougher on the kids, which by default made it harder on Sildie.

“Don’t be. You’re doing what you love. Never apologize for that.” She looked at him and he nodded. She wouldn’t be that person, she wouldn’t be Ana.

“So what got under your skin and irritated you love?” He asked carefully.

“Fuck where do I start!” She huffed as the kettle boiled.

“Start with what happened after I left that put that anger in those beautiful eyes.” He said gently. He would listen, he wouldn’t get upset, he had to be her rock just as she was his when he was feeling the same way.

“I was irritated when someone poked their nose into my private life. It’s none of their fucking business who I date and even if it was they don’t get to tell me to be careful because of your past history. And they certainly don’t get to try to throw the kids in the conversation.” She felt the fury bubble up. Ok maybe she was angrier about it than she first thought.

“I’m assuming the mention of my history was prior to my sobriety?” He asked carefully. It wasn’t a secret he’d been a party animal along with the drugs and alcohol and women.

“I didn’t ask for them to elaborate. It’s none of their fucking business, or mine for that matter.” She grumbled.

“I’m an open book with you Sildie, if you want to know something you only have to ask.” He looked at her and saw her shoulders relax.

“I know.” She breathed out. “I know you’ll answer anything I ask about that side of your life but to be honest I don’t need to know. That was then, this is now, and you’re sober. That’s all that matters.”

“Look at me love.” He said gently as his heart swelled to bursting at her trust in him. He continued when she did. “Most people, look for the bad in everything, in everyone. It’s worse for those of us in the limelight. I don’t give a shit what they say about me Sildie, because I know the truth and I know what I am now. I’ve moved on from that part of my life. I’m sober and that allows me to be with you. I know what happens if I slip up and I have absolutely no intention of allowing that to happen.” His tone was low and soft, not a hint of anger and it soothed her. “Ever.”

“But what right does he have to fucking stick his nose into our business, your past?”

“Absolutely none, and I’m assuming you told him as much.” He was struggling to stay calm when he wanted to know who the guy was and rip him apart for making her feel this way. He had his suspicions who it was but couldn’t be sure.

“I did.” She breathed out and scrubbed a hand over her face. “Rather abruptly.” She poured her tea and took the laptop back to the table to sit. “Even though he was one of Quinn’s best friends it doesn’t give him the right to ask those questions and pry.” She spat half heartedly.

“No it doesn’t.” He let the anger dissipate, he had to tread carefully here. The fact it tied back to her brother was a recipe for potential disaster. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” She shrugged and sipped her tea.

“Are you talking about opposing counsel?” He asked, keeping the irritation out of his voice. Willed his body to stay relaxed and neutral even though it was as taught as a bow string. Jealousy was an ugly emotion and he knew deep down he had no need to be feeling it.

“Opposing counsel?” She looked puzzled until the penny dropped. The only opposing counsel he would know was Lucas from the Meyertech case. “Yes, Lucas. Sorry, it took me a bit to put two and two together, you haven’t officially met him yet.” She said quietly.

“Not yet.” He growled, and it wasn’t that seductive growl that made her wet either. This was primal and exactly why she was hesitant in mentioning him. “You know he’s sweet on you.” He said half joking, half wanting to beat the guy bloody.

“I know.” She said watching him carefully.

His eyebrow shot up. “You know?” He huffed out trying desperately to keep that jealousy he felt well and truly out of it and under control.

“Yes. Lucas and I went to university together with Quinn.” She told him. “Are you jealous?” She asked seriously the lawyer surfacing. She wasn’t about to let this get out of hand and she knew, just knew, this went back to Ana.

“I don’t know. Do I need to be?” He said honestly. “The look he gave you as he walked away said enough of what he’d like to have happen between you two.”

“I know exactly what he wants to happen between us Gustaf. I’m not completely oblivious.” She said sternly, she wouldn’t let this get out of hand while they were miles apart. “He’s always has a thing for me. He asked while we were at university, before I left for the US, every time I came back for a visit, and he asked when I first came home to Sweden for the kids, it will be the same answer now as it was then, no.” She watched him carefully. “An unequivocal no.” She didn’t want to have this conversation over the phone but it looked as though they were having it regardless. “I don’t want him Gustaf, I’ve never wanted him.” She looked at the man she adored, the vulnerability in those dusty blue eyes making her heart sink.

“I’m just being stupid aren’t I?” He huffed, a little disgusted at himself for ever doubting her, for ever feeling that jealousy.

“Not stupid, honest, and I appreciate it. Just, please don’t punch him or anything. He’s a good guy, great lawyer, and was one of my brothers best friends.” She said and he nodded.

“I won’t. Unless he steps over a line.” He looked at her, the promise heavy in his words.

“Then he’ll get a fist in the mouth from me first and he fucking knows it.” The slight smirk on his face making her feel slightly better.

“It’s just, the way he looked at you sent me from I’m fine to jealous madman in a blink.” He felt ashamed that he’d even thought those ugly thoughts. “It’s a guy thing.” He huffed.

“I just want you love. I know this is what Ana did to you, isn’t it?” She asked gently already knowing his answer. “The games she’d play?”

“Yes.” He choked it back, that bitter taste of betrayal in his mouth.

“If I wanted to be with Lucas I would be, but I don’t. I just want you love, that hasn’t changed.” She watched him carefully.

“I know.” He said softly.

“We good?”

“The best. Let it be done now ok?” Done until he came face to face with Lucas. “Thank you.” He said gently.

“What for?” She huffed.

“For protecting me, my private life.” He said gently and her eyes snapped to his. “Not many have, outside of my immediate family.”

“I... of course.” His slight smile made her belly uncoil. The stress of the conversation lessening.

“Please don’t let it bother you love.” He said gently. “Unfortunately there’ll be more of it once word gets out that we’re dating.”

“I figured, I just got so mad when he made assumptions that he had no right to make and no information to back any of it up.” She breathed out letting the last of it out. “Anyway, thanks for hearing me out.”

“Anytime love.”

“And thanks for not getting all male over it.”

His laugh made her smile. “Getting all male?”

“Yes.” She giggled. “Like the beating of chests and dick measuring.” She grinned.

“The only dick measuring we’ll be doing love is me thrusting inside you and fitting snugly.” He growled.

“You know my office still smells like sex.” She quipped with a grin.

“Good.” He winked. “You’re beautiful Sildie.”

“Only to you.”

“You should get to bed, you have to be up early love.” He said gently, he was hoping she would rest now.

“Yeah I’m beat. I miss you. It sounds corny and it’s only for tonight and tomorrow night but...” She shrugged. “I’m not going to sleep well either without you here.”

“I miss you too love and I know I won’t sleep well either. Well, maybe better because I have this.” He held up her g string from today.

“So that’s where it went, I should’ve known.” She smirked. “I looked for that damn thing for nearly an hour freaking out that someone would find it.”

“It smells just like you love.” His tone low and silky. “I can’t wait for this weekend.” He growled.

“Me either. I have plans.” She winked.

“Oh do you now?”

“Mmm hmm, plans and moves.” She purred.

“Well then, the weekend better hurry it’s ass up.”

“You better go sleep then.” He quipped.

“Yeah, you too love. I’ll try and call in the morning for the kids.”

“Ok.” She yawned. “If you can’t it’s ok.”

“I’ll try. Go sleep love.”

“You too.”

Hanging up was always the hardest. He closed the laptop and breathed out. Their conversation went better than he’d hoped. He wouldn’t punch Lucas but if he crossed her again they would be having words. He wouldn’t see someone use his past, his history, to fuck with her or the kids, even if the intention was looking out for their best interests.

He showered and climbed into bed, her g string wrapped around his hand. Damn he missed her, that warm lush body against him, the smell of her hair. He fell into sleep a little while later with thoughts of their weekend and how he would say those words she deserved to hear.

Sildie crawled into bed at one. She hadn’t gone straight to bed because she knew it would be cold and he wasn’t there to snuggle into. She’d hidden his white dress shirt he’d worn last week, the one that she’d fucked him in. It still smelled like him and she breathed deeply as she settled. Sleep and exhaustion took her in moments.

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