#he feels the love he knows he has for sonic towards strive but in terms of trust... there's next to none there.

[timeclipsed]

♡ ?? ( change attraction to cool level or smthing idk whatever you like best <3)

Send ♡ to see what my muse thinks of yours (status — accepting!)

●○○○○ | AESTHETIC ●●●●○ | AFFECTION ●●●●○ | INTEREST ●●●●● | LOYALTY ●○○○○ | TRUST

[another-sonic-blog]

SilvAmy prompt: Silver is feeling under the weather and Amy being the optimist she is helps him clear his thoughts? it’s v v vague and it could go down either a platonic or romantic route, but I think Silver and Amy are characters that understand each other and have this connection? Exploring that idea would be super adorable, especially if romantic because it opens a gateway to so much more bonding between the two

Confessions

SilvAmy (Romantic) One Shot

1k500

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If Silver could control one aspect of his life, it will be to stop his love for Amy Rose.  

He didn't know exactly how it happened nor the exact moment he realized his feelings for her. Silver was well aware of the feelings Amy had for the blue bur. He was able to understand that. Sonic was the hero of Mobius, he has saved not only the world but the universe as well. Sonic was an important aspect of Amy's life and the feelings she had for him were valid.

He also admired the blue one and even wished to become like him one day.

When he went back to the past to change his futute, he found out that Sonic was dead.

And although that affected him greatly, no one was as affected as Amy.

He remembers the tears, the nights were Amy couldn't sleep, the nightmares.

Silver was there with her every single night. Caressing her hair and waiting for her to fall asleep in his arms.

And every night, he damns Sonic for making Amy feel. He hated him, for being the first person Amy loved and for being the first one to break her heart.

But better times came. Amy cried less and would smile more. Silver would be there for her. Hanging out, sleepovers, eating together.

And the night finally came when she stopped crying.

Watching Amy grow into the strong girl she is right now was everything he could ask for.

Her strong but soft personality, her leadership, her kindness, just everything about her.

He was crazy in love with her.

One day, he finally dared to confess to her.

He was holding a small flower he had planted with Blaze and decided to give it to her.

But as he entered the Resistance's main room, he saw Shadow kissing Amy.

It's not like he didn't see the signs.

He once caught them chatting outside the Resistance, they were taking a walk. Amy was smiling which was normal for her personality, but what threw him off was that Shadow gave Amy a small smile once in a while.

He wasn't the only one who noticed. It was the other agents as well. Silver would hear the gossip between them but he just pretended not to hear it.

"I saw them holding hands once!"

"Do you think they are secretly dating? That's so romantic."

"I heard that Shadow always visits Amy first after coming from a mission."

Even when Silver knew all of this, he still had hope that Amy would choose him. That everything was just false rumors and that his eyes were lying to them.

It has been two weeks since he saw them together and a lot has happened to them.

Blaze was back to her dimension, the new Zombot virus was spreading quickly, the Resistance was destroyed and Shadow has become a Zombot.

Silver had expected Amy to react badly but this time it was different. He thought that she would need some type of comfort but instead, she pushed away from him.

It was as if she didn't want him to see her vulnerable. That pained him the most.

Silver wanted to be understanding, after all, Amy's boyfriend turned into a zombot but what about him? Didn't his feelings count?

He felt jealous, angered, frustrated but most all he felt sadness and a great sense of depression overtake him.

His best friend was gone, the world was ending the girl he was so deeply in love with won't look at him twice.

"Silver?"

He recognized that voice anywhere. He didn't look at her, instead, he kept looking to the view in front of him.

They were currently flying on the last Resistance shuttle, heading towards the secret location of Angel Island. After the events of today, he needed to take a breath of air and decided to go to the top part of the shuttle.

"Are you alright?"

Silver kept quiet as he heard Amy coming towards him. He didn't want to look at her, not now when-

"Would you look at me?"

Silver felt soft hands touch his cheeks, forcing him to look at the pink hedgehog.

He didn't want to look at her because he knew he wouldn't be able to resist for much longer.

Her quills move back and forth as the wind danced between them, making her look as if she floating. The light of the sunset made her eyes shine as her green emerald eyes contrasted with the colors of the sky. She parted her lips, almost if begging them to kiss them, to be touched by Silver's lips.

Silver went for it. He grabbed one of her hands and pulled her towards him. She felt right into his arms and Silver closed his eyes as he moved closer to her face. She was positioned perfectly, her head was tilted as if she was an invention.

Silver was just so close, so close to tasting heaven but he stopped himself as he saw the discomfort of the pink one.

She moved away immediately, her eyes were surprised and worried at the same time.

"Silver, you-"

"What do you see in him?" Silver was at the breaking point, he just didn't care anymore.

"What?"

"I can understand Sonic, but Shadow?" Silver added, "He wasn't there for you. He didn't see you cry every night, he didn't hold you when you broke. He is not even here now. So why him?"

Amy took a few moments to collect her thoughts. Silver and she were good friends, best friends even. They could rely on each other and tell everything but it's even a while since she felt like Silver was hiding something from her.

"He loves me ... a lot and for me, that's more than enough-"

"I love you too! So why be with him when you can be-"

Silver didn't realize what he had said until he saw a red flush covering her cheeks. He wanted to disappear, maybe if he jumped out of the shuttle he could-

"I love you too."

The moment Silver heard the words come out of her mouth, he felt his heart skip a bit. It was like in his dreams, maybe even better. Silver was lost of words because he was expecting Amy's face to show some kind of content but it was the complete opposite.

Seeing that Silver wasn't speaking, Amy continued. "I love you ... but you know that we can't be together."

Getting out of his trance, Silver quickly. "But why?"

"You are from the future. I am from the past. As soon as this is done ... you have to go back to your time."

"But I can stay, I-"

"No, you won't." Amy turned her head to him a warm smile, "You are the hero of the future ... Your people will need you and I know you don't have the heart to give them your back."

Amy grabbed Silver's hand caressing them softly, "And I love you because of that ... You wouldn't be my Silver if you didn't."

Amy knew Silver too well. He wanted to deny it but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. If his people needed him, would he be able to give them a blind eye? Would he be able to stop caring about the future and his friends?

No, he didn't think he could. He would leave because as much as he loves Amy, he also loves his people.

And that was the main reason Amy loved him. She loved that part of him, the part of him that always strived to better the future.

"If you love me ... then why are you with him?" Silver asked, a small hint of jealousy in his voice.

Amy looked at the sunset a warm smile plastered on her face as she reminiscent the black hedgehog.

"Shadow knows of my feelings for you and he accepts that. He loves the way I love you," Amy said. "He accepts everything about me and if he loves me... that's enough for me to try and love him back."

Silver analyzed Amy's face. The warm smile she had disappeared. Her eyes had softened and the brightness of them was no longer more. He knew that she must be extremely worried. She didn't know anything about Shadow's whereabouts. The last thing she knew was that he had turned into a zombot.

Silver was still heartbroken, but now he was able to understand Amy's motive. He was able to comprehend why Shadow. He got a new perspective on the black hedgehog as well. It must pain the black hedgehog to death knowing that Amy's heart belonged to someone else.

And whoever went through that pain, they had Silver's respect.

And now that she understands her, it would be easier for him to let her go. Although he knew that it wasn't going to happen in a long time.

"I am sorry," Silver added. "I put you in an uncomfortable situation."

"No, you didn't. Actually, you made me happy when you confessed," said Amy. "If it makes you feel better ... I think I am never going to forget it."

This moment right here. It was the moment Silver always wanted but never knew he needed. Amy and him, finally sharing their feelings and coming with terms with each other.

The love that can never be but it will always prevail. Silver's body felt light as if he was dreaming. However, he knew that it was due to this moment of utter bliss.

His heart was content that it had finally been realized from the cage it had been on for a long time.

He can finally move on into a better future.

Silver kept holding Amy's hand as they watched the last ray of sunlight disappear. He let out a sigh and whispered.

"I think, I won't forget either."

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A/N: Sorry for the long wait and that this is short. I've been super busy with my other stories and only had time to answer this today. I hope you enjoy it and if you would like more let me know! I hope this is similar to what you wanted. Thank you!!!!

[dreamings-free]

Oct 24th 2019

Last April, Louis Tomlinson took to Instagram to announce that he was "turning a page" creatively, declaring that his new focus was to make music for himself and his fans rather than commercial success. Today (Oct. 24), another page is turned, as the 27-year-old singer releases his latest single, "We Made It."

Tomlinson actually wrote the song two years ago, long before publicly sharing his musical awakening. But as the "We Made It" lyrics indicate, the sentiment has been on his mind for a while: "Don't need to say no more / Nothing in the world that I would change it for / Singing something poppy on the same four chords/ Used to worry 'bout it but I don't no more."

While those particular verses nod to Tomlinson's One Direction days, Tomlinson suggests that they also stemmed from his feelings on his first two solo releases, Steve Aoki's 2016 track "Just Hold On" and his 2017 Bebe Rexha team-up "Back To You." "I’m really happy with the collaborations I released, but as I look back, I don’t think those songs sonically were as true to me as they could be," he admits. "I was making music for other people, as opposed to making the music I love."

The rest of "We Made It" -- which features acoustic guitar and a beat drop on the chorus -- encompasses Tomlinson's relationship with on-again girlfriend Ele*nor C*lder as well as with his fans. He announced his debut solo album, titled Walls and due Jan. 31, 2020, the day before dropping the song, giving the song's title even more meaning. "I'm really relieved to finally be here," Tomlinson said in his reveal.

Billboard caught up with Tomlinson ahead of the "We Made It" release to hear about the song's inspiration and what else fans can expect from Walls next year.

You first teased “We Made It” in February of last year. Is there a reason it’s just coming out now, especially since you’ve released "Two of Us" and "Kill My Mind" in between?

There was a group of songs that I wrote maybe about six months ago, including “Kill My Mind” and “Walls,” which is another single and the title of the album. I knew I wanted to get an album out as soon as possible, but I wanted to be really confident with the body of work that I had. I think there wasn’t enough songs on the album that I was really super proud of. Once I’d written “Kill My Mind,” I felt a little bit better about things, which is why I’m now releasing music more frequently.

What inspired you to write “We Made It”?

It kind of has two meanings. The verses are written about the early times of me and my girlfriend, me going to visit her at university and stuff. But the sentiment of the chorus is a message that is something I know I’m going to feel on my first tour dates, for example. That feeling of achievement -- I want it to feel collective, because the fans have been really patient with me. I’ve gone through a bit, and they were super supportive. It was kind of just a message to them, really.

The chorus talks about being underestimated. How does that relate to the message to fans?

I think that’s a general message of “We Made It” when I’m referencing the fans. There’s lyrics in there that relate to me personally -- I’ve spoken about times in the past, especially in those first 18 months of One Direction, I struggled to find my place. It’s kind of just reflecting on those times. Also, like many songs, rooting for the underdog. Trying to capture all of that.

Have you had any other experiences over the past two years that have impacted the way you approach songwriting?

When I grew up, I was quite reliant on radio for discovering new songs. And what was on the radio at the time in England was Oasis, Amy Winehouse, Arctic Monkeys. In more recent years, radio has taken a slightly urban shift, and to a certain degree, for a short period of time, I kind of fell out of love with music. One day I went through YouTube and Spotify and found bands and songs that I really love, started discovering music that way. Artists like Sam Fender, Catfish and the Bottlemen.

It’s funny that you mention Oasis -- the guitar on “We Made It” sounds very Oasis-esque. Were they a big influence on the record?

I mean, of course! Oasis is the best band in the world. They’re definitely [my] favorite band, so naturally their influence is woven in there.

I love everything about the ‘90s. I certainly love the fucking clothes as well, I wear a lot of that kind of stuff. I was born in ‘91, I just really identify with it. Bands like Oasis, they were so big growing up where I was -- they have a real effect on me.

The songs you’ve released so far each have a slightly different feel to them. Is there one that feels the most like you lyrically and/or musically?

My favorite lyric is a song that isn’t out yet called “Walls.” That’s a lyric I’m really proud of, it kind of showcases me as a lyricist. In terms of sound, I just absolutely fucking love “Kill My Mind.” I’m really proud of being able to release something like that. It feels really good to perform it.  

What other topics and sounds do you explore on the album?

There’s a little bit more emotional stuff. In general, I’m just wearing my heart on my sleeve, and being honest, reflecting on a breakup. As a lyricist, I always try to be as honest as possible. Once fans have heard the album, they will see a slightly different side of me.

I’m always striving for the most organic, live, real sounds as possible. Sometimes that feels like you’re fighting against the tides, because radio leans quite urban, especially mainstream radio, in the U.K. as well. We worked on a lot of different mixes to ["We Made It"]. It started out a little bit more electronic, especially in the chorus and the drop. So we just put it more in line with the album -- I wanted to make it feel a little bit more live and authentic.

You can feel a pop-punk influence in “Miss You” and a little bit in “Kill My Mind." How much has that type of music impacted the creation of the album?

When I was about 14 I bought a live Green Day DVD, and I was pretty amazed. It kind of gave me the bug. I was singing Green Day songs when I first started, so naturally my voice was molded to that kind of sound and especially that kind of chorus. It’s always something that I’m conscious of. The most important thing for me is that I don’t have too many programmed sounds on the record. I want to be able to feel the guitars and feel the atmosphere of the track.

How do you feel you’ve grown as an artist over the past few years?

It’s just been a massive learning process. The experience that I had in One Direction was absolutely fucking incredible. But it’s a very different kind of experience. For the music industry, that’s not a real-life example. There were conversations before that I never had to get involved with before when I was in the band -- I’ve had to think on my feet and learn on the job. It’s all part of making you a better person, better artist, better businessman, all that. I feel like I’ve learned a lot.

It sounds like this year has been formative for you, as far as being confident that what you’re making is what you should be making.

Definitely. My biggest goal is to get out on the road as soon as possible -- I’ve got tour dates penciled in. I’m just looking towards that now. I miss it.

[wonderswritings]

Internet Love: Extended Cut

Sumaray: Chris Evans has discovered the world of tumblr. Under a fake profile, Chris stumbles upon Y/N’s account when she makes a post about his on-again-off-again girlfriend. The two talk and Chris tells Y/N who he really is. The two become friends and Chris flies her out to see him and she becomes everyone’s best friend and unknowingly strains Chris’ relationship. Drama in ensues and Y/N regrets everything. Love can be amazing and beautiful, but it can also be deadly. Pairings: Chris Evans x OC, Chris Evans x Reader, Sebastian Stan x Reader (best friend), Anthony Mackie x Reader (best friend) Warnings: Cheat but not really, LANGUAGE, Angst, Crying lots of freaking crying, 

“Earlier today, we gave you the exclusive on Chris Evans and Brittany Lewis recently getting back together. We’re here today with friends of Chris Evans and Brittany Lewis to discuss the recently renewed relationship.” The interviewer turned towards their gest, smiling at them both. “I’m here today with stars Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie. Thank you both for being here today.” “Thanks for having us.” Sebastian nodded, smiling. “Yeah, it’s great to be here.” “As you both must know, Chris Evans recently got back together with Brittany Lewis, what can you both tell me?” Anthony and Sebastian looked at each other, having a silent conversation. They both turned at the same time, smiling. “I think it’s great.” Anthony’s hand came into view, hitting Sebastian’s arm. Sebastian turned, Anthony giving him a pointed look. Sebastian turned, smiling although it was strained. “I think it’s great along the lines that Chris seems happy.” “And what about Brittany? Do you both like here?” Anthony reached over, grabbing his coffee and take a sip before he put it back, rubbing his hands over his leg as he sat up. “I’m not going to lie to ya man, I’m not particularly fond of her.” “Really? May I ask why?” Sebastian made a face, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest as Anthony started to talk. “I have nothing against the girl, or her relationship with Chris, I just don’t think she’s right for Chris. Look at their past relationships, they ended and not all of them were on the best of terms.” The interviewer nodded, turning to face Sebastian. “What about you? Do you like her and the relationship with Chris?” Sebastian sighed, shaking his head and closing his eyes. “Chris is my best friend man. I only want what’s best for him. My personal opinion is that he can do better and he could do better. This relationship is hazardous to everyone involved.” “Does Chris know of both of your opinions?” Both men nodded, a grim look on their faces. “He does, yes. The thing you’ve got to understand about Chris, is that he cares in a sense, too much. He does everything in his power to make other people happy, ignoring his own needs. I believe that’s what he’s doing with this relationship.” “Anthony?” “It’s like Seb said, Chris strives to make other people happy. He puts their needs before his own, and he suppresses his own feelings, his needs. When your in the public eye like we are, any relationship you have is going to be out there. Everyone knows how their last attempts at a relationship went. This’ll either end the same way, or worse.” The interviewer nodded, flipping the papers he had. “How does Chris feel about your feelings towards his relationship?” “Chris understands that we each will have our own opinions about things and as long as we are respectful about it, it’s fine.” Sebastian nodded, and the interviewer leaned forward, shaking their hands. “Again, thank you both for coming here today and taking the time to speak with me. It was a pleasure having you here.” “Thanks for inviting us.” “Yea, it was a pleasure.”

Marvel Tag: @emoryhemsworth  @kindnesswins  @supernaturaldean67  @wildefire@kirakombat  @katykyll  @be-amaziing  @imaginesofdreams@helloangelicaaaaa  @regrets-decison @sonic-lipstick-is-mine @hp-hogwartsexpress @indaybella99  @rashinyx2002  @lilypalmer1987  @flipsorenson-99  @dninah  @marvel_af

Internet Love: @hista-girl @alonna-oxoxox @steelbluebucky @unhealthy-obsession @dninah @shieldgirl95 @lilpageofeverything @thebookisbtr @wordlesswriters @onthapathatass @nikkyshows @patzammit @partypoison00 @rashinyx2002

*If I can not tag you after three times, I will remove you from the list*

[onestowatch]

Matthew Chaim on Bon Iver, Road Trips, and ‘The Mathematics of Nature’ [Q&A]

Photos: Dan Robinson

When asked, people would readily agree that logistics and emotions don’t entirely align. Left versus right brain, we’ve all been told which side of the spectrum we sway toward. Yet, after the personality tests are settled and we inevitably grow through our experiences, feeler or thinker aside, it becomes clear that the palette of the human experience is certainly not black or white but iridescent in nature.

Songwriter, artist, and travel enthusiast, Matthew Chaim will tell you that his life journey follows this colorful metaphor. Losing his father at only 12 years old, Chaim was exposed to some of the darker hues of life at an extremely tender age. It was this exposure to immense pain that spurred the outpouring of his heart into music.

From his first EP, 2018′s HOMEMADE, to his debut album The Mathematics of Nature, Chaim’s evolution as an artist and a person is wildly apparent. From the deeply personal and profound subjects present to the intricate sonorities utilized, with The Mathematics of Nature, Chaim has reached a new height in his artist career, one that exemplifies incredible courage and relentless creativity.  

Together, Chaim and friend, producer, and co-writer Jason Wu, a.k.a. Rabitt, explore the multi-hued palette of the human experience. A concept album through and through, though seemingly intangible, as one allows themselves to get lost in the project, the range of sonics explored becomes an extension of feeling. By marrying the science of sound with the art of emotive expression, we can better understand what The Mathematics of Nature truly entails.   

Each track tells a different part of Chaim's story, complete with all the highs and lows and back and forth that comes along with being so distinctly human. As the album progresses, the story moves through various gains and losses: the death of his father, the loss of a love, and finally the discovery of the world around him and what is truly most important in life. The Mathematics of Nature becomes a sort of sonic photo album, highlighting beautiful moments of strife and clarity along the way.  

We had a chance to catch up with the myth, the legend, Matthew Chaim on everything from the grieving his father, his solo trip across the United States, and the inspirational process of constructing The Mathematics of Nature. 

  OTW: Let’s start at the very beginning, how did you catch the music bug?  

Chaim: I started playing the drums when I was about 15, and quickly adopted the vision that I would spend my life touring the world as a drummer. That vision hasn’t changed all that much. My position on stage has simply shifted a touch more downstage. 

OTW: Any groundbreaking musical or philosophical influences on you?

Chaim: My influences are ever-changing. A big one for me throughout the creation of this project was and is Bon Iver. When I drove across the country to move from Montreal to LA, I was driving West for eight days and that meant witnessing eight sunsets in a row. Every evening as the sun began to set, I’d switch off whatever album or podcast or audiobook I was listening to and put on Bon Iver’s 22, A Million. Not only is that record an incredible sunset soundtrack, it also showcases such free, stream-of-consciousness creativity in both the writing and production. And that is the place I also strive to write from. Or rather, not so much strive towards but let go into.  

OTW: Your lead single “Sunflowers” is about the loss of your father as a child. How did experiencing this grief at suh a young age shape the person you are today?

Chaim: I was already a pretty sensitive kid before my father passed away. He died when I was only 12 years old, and I think it left me in a very confused and shocked state. Perhaps more so at such a tender age, but I believe we all find ways of storing such immense pain in faraway crevices of ourselves—both physically in our bodies and mentally/emotionally in our psyches. Writing songs has proven to be a great way for me to excavate this hidden pain within me, and reverse some of the numbing work I had to do at such a young age. 

OTW: You’re originally from Montreal, can you tell us about the music scene there? How does it compare to Los Angeles?  

Chaim: I don’t know that I ever found myself deeply embedded in the nucleus of the Montreal music scene, so I’m probably not the best ambassador to talk to it. But I will say there is an incredible culture in Montreal that has allowed some pretty incredible music to come out of the city. I definitely found my little community of creative collaborators there, and I’m super grateful for getting started in Montreal with those friends. There is a rhythm to Montreal that is completely different to Los Angeles. And the more time I spend here in LA, the more thankful I am for having some sort of tether to the slower, more grounded pace that Montreal built in me.

OTW: When moving to LA you took an epic solo road trip across the country, were there any profound moments experienced on that journey?

Chaim: That whole journey had a pretty profound effect on me. I was surprised to learn just how much I enjoyed driving long distances completely alone, and after the first few days, I settled into this wonderful rhythm that felt really empowering. There was something about getting to LA by myself and on my own terms that gave me this beautiful sense of independence and freedom. And the closer I got to my destination, the more the Earth rewarded my efforts with its beauty. 

As I got into Colorado and then through Utah, the natural landscapes opened up into these incredible expressions of just how creative and grand the world can be. I also met some incredible people along the drive. I chose not to plan my overnight stays beforehand and often ended up couch-surfing with complete strangers. Some of whom I’m still in touch with. It has been nice to settle into LA for a while now, and have my own space and whatnot. But I definitely feel another road trip coming in my near future.

OTW: Any recommendations for when we plan our road trip across the U.S.?

Chaim: Check your oil and tires. Plan as little as possible. Go slow. 

OTW: Tell us about meeting your primary collaborator and friend, Jason Wu a.k.a. Rabitt?

Chaim: Jason and I met in the Summer of 2018 when I was here in LA for a few weeks on a writing trip. I had actually reached the end of my trip the week prior and was planning to head back to Montreal when my good friend Aidan D’Aoust at the Songwriters’ Organization of Canada (SOCAN) had contacted me with a cancellation at their LA house. He asked me if I wanted to extend my trip a week and stay at the house, and it was in that extended week that I was lucky enough to meet Jason. We were thrown into a session together, and out came “Sunflowers” on that very first day. 

That was a really powerful and cathartic song to write, and I was excited to see what else Jason and I could create together. I left back to Montreal, and a few weeks later decided to drive myself across the country to LA. Jason and I started writing together on a regular basis in the fall of 2018, and both our creative collaboration and friendship steadily grew. It’s been an incredibly gratifying experience to build an entire project from scratch together. His talent, creativity and willingness to take risks make writing songs with him exciting every single time.  

OTW: Since your debut EP, your sound has changed a bit. Tell us about what inspired this sonic shift?

Chaim: I think it has a lot to do with what’s in my ears that effect where I’m going sonically. At the time of writing my debut EP Homemade, I was obsessed with Drake and the whole Toronto, OVO thing: PARTYNEXTDOOR, Majid Jordan, etc. Then last year, I started to fall back in love with my favorite band as a kid, Coldplay. And that sent me on a whole adventure of digging into artists that I was familiar with but never went deep on, such as Bon Iver. And when I started to really listen to 22, A Million, it was over. I was in love.

OTW: Tell us about the process of putting together The Mathematics of Nature?  

Chaim: A lot of The Mathematics of Nature was written in the fall of 2018, just after making the trip across the country and committing to discovering what my life could be like if I came to LA and didn’t leave. Before making that trip, however, I also ended a long-term relationship with someone I loved in Montreal. So I got to LA full of the raw sensations of a breakup plus the inspiration I soaked up on that drive and out came all these songs. Once Jason and I decided to put together a project that was entirely written by us, it allowed us the freedom to do some experimental and exciting things with the songs. I think we felt that the cohesion would be there no matter what since our creative signatures would naturally touch every track. So with that in mind, we just threw ideas at these songs and saw what stuck. I’m super excited about the final creation, and yet also know that this is only the beginning.

OTW: Any collective motifs or themes? Easter eggs?

Chaim: Lots of themes are threaded through these songs for me, and the order of songs also plays some importance. A lot of it lives at this intersection of heart and mind, of left brain and right brain, of math and nature. But I also love the idea of people discovering their own meaning and relationship with the songs. In terms of easter eggs, one thing that comes to mind is in the intro song “Tender.” There are these vocal samples in it that are my vocals all chopped up and pitched and tuned in different ways to create something melodic yet of little to no lyrical meaning. However, within the gibberish, you can sort of make up your own ideas of what I’m saying. I’ve started to hear certain lyrics in there. You might find your own.

OTW: We hate to play favorites but we can’t help but mention how much we love“Departed.” What was the inspiration behind that one in particular?

Chaim: “Departed" is about the on-and-off relationship I was in back home. It speaks to the intensity, the volatility, and the pain of constantly running away and running back to someone you love. Interestingly enough, “Departed” was probably the most laborious song to write and finish on the project. I remember it took us a good few sessions to start to feel like we had something. I had written it off early on in my head as something I wasn’t crazy into. And then, sure enough, it grew into this super emotional and special song for me. It’s also one of my favorites to perform live.

OTW: What does your writing process with Rabitt look like?

Chaim: Jason quietly starts an idea on the guitar or piano or some pad sound, usually a very simple one. And I sit in the back of the room and quietly sing some melodies and jot down some lines. Sometimes he’ll print out a loop of that one sound and I’ll go outside the studio and write to it on the balcony or somewhere alone. After I feel like I’ve got something I’m into, I’ll head back in and only then will we start to put what I’m writing and what he’s writing together. There’s this “alone, together” quality to our collaboration that I really enjoy.

OTW: We have to mention, the sounds found on the project are truly mesmerizing. How did you and Rabitt go about shaping the sonics of the EP?

Chaim: We just try and do the weirdest things we can think of. On “Thoughts," which is the second song we wrote together, we started by loading up some sort of vocoder connected to the mic and I recorded some ideas. Jason then pitched those vocals down and sped them up. We scanned through them until we landed on this crazy frog-sounding rhythmical thing, which ended up becoming the main percussive element to the song. Jason is also incredible with melody. Coming up with melodies is probably my favorite part of songwriting, so typically my artist child gets all frustrated when someone else in the room is pitching their own melodies. But Jason is amazing at creating these addictive melodies that end up in a lot of our songs’ post-choruses. For more sonic details than that, you’ll probably have to ask Jason directly. But yeah, I think a lot of it is simply our intention to find sounds we’ve never encountered before. 

OTW: You’ve been busy performing live around North America. Tell us about the curation of your live show? A little bird told us there is a meditation portion of the performance…

Chaim: That bird is giving everything away. It’s been super exciting to build out a live production for this music, and we’re just getting started. My goal with the live show is to bring people into a quieter state. Not outwardly quiet, as surely I want the music to be loud AF. But an internal quietude, a concentration. Because it’s so easy for us to forget to enjoy what we are experiencing in the moment and spend our time negotiating with the endless train of thoughts and judgments in our minds. 

Live shows are an excellent place for us to start and tackle this habit, because by attending a show we are essentially saying, “For the next however many minutes, I am going to focus my attention on this centralized point of entertainment.” People are giving me the gift of their attention. So that’s why I’m playing with this meditation section of the show. We’re still in the research and development phase, but I have some pretty crazy visions of what this production will evolve into in 2020.  

OTW: Anything special in the works for 2020?

Chaim: So ya the live show is front and center for me in 2020. We’re going to be taking this music out into the streets for sure. I’ve also got some songs to share with you in 2020 that are... important to me. That being said, I'm also starting to pendulum swing back into writing more, and I think I’ve got some fresh music in me that is ready to take form.

OTW: Who are your Ones to Watch?   

Chaim: I’m really into EDEN right now, love his new releases. There’s also this insanely talented Canadian artist named Leif Vollebeck who I’m obsessed with. He just dropped a new record two weeks ago. 

[theparaminds]

We all remember moments entwined with difficulty and sadness, moments we stand unsure of our next step and the right choices. Yet, through those times we also remember the music and the art that fills the cracks in our happiness, the art that allowed us to live and breath, even through the confusion. Xavley knows this all too well, he knows what it means to be hurt and healed through art. And now, he is putting his heart towards doing the same for others.

Ever since the release of project ‘oof’, Xavley has finally found himself clearing the daily fog that filled his creative energy, instead producing lush and breathtakingly emotional music that resonates with any soul, whether it be young or old, tired or excited. His combination of genre and connective lyricism guides his music to a plateau of beauty every artist strives towards, yet so few can achieve.

While this last year has been anything short of easy for Xavley, there remains the constant happiness and knowledge that all the hard work is not going to waste, that others are finding it to be the bright spots of their often dreary and disappointing days. And for that reason, Xavley has remained, and will continue to be, the beacon of hope, resilience and artistry for so many in need.

Our first question as always, how’s your day going and how are you?

Honestly, my day's been rough as fuck. This year's probably been one of the hardest of my young adult life,

but in terms of how it was objectively: it wasn't bad. My day started off good, I woke up on my own terms after a really weird ass dream and then I listened to this album called “Sen Am” by Duval Timothy. Mind if I ask how your day was?

Yeah my days been great! Thank you so much for asking. Would you be cool telling about the dream you had and what’s been going on for you  the last year?

I forget how some of the parts fit together, but as a general overview: my friend’s sister married the prince of England. After that, Usher threw a beach party to celebrate with a bunch of tiny little micro plastic bead things that were supposed to inflate into beach balls when they hit the water, but instead they just absorbed all the heat in the ocean and caught fire. A lot of people got hurt and it caused an environmental crisis. When we caught him (Usher), he broke out into this weird live performance of a very sexual video to evade capture. Then we were at a party where my uncle and his friends were wearing shirts saying “company boss” and “the new guy” while my aunt was giving me life advice. At one point she transformed into a middle aged woman who said something racist when I mentioned going to Ghana.

And to sum the year up super quickly, I had a friend who was doing a bunch of things that made me feel hella uncomfortable while I was living with him, so after trying to ghost him while I was still living there, dumb I know, I ended up having to formally end our friendship. After that, he did his best to make the living situation pretty uncomfortable for everyone living there by giving me the silent treatment and opening up to our other roommates and then the other three people ended up kicking me out. Since then, I've had to couch surf for like a month, they aren't giving me my deposit back, and I've really struggled to get a grip on school stuff

Damn, that’s brutal, have you at least been able to find comfort through music and art  as escapism and a personal release?

I'm not sure. I'd say yes because I do A TON of music stuff when I'm procrastinating on my other responsibilities, like work or school. Music is a relief when I can actually make a good song, but if not, it presents a different kinda stress. The act of finishing a song is pretty relieving, but sometimes making them is also stressful. Listening to good music by other people is a good coping mechanism though some songs help me think back to nice memories, others kinda help me reframe how I'm looking at the situations I find myself in. I guess part of why my day started off so nice was because spotify gave me a good ass discover weekly playlist.

Have you had a good memory from the last difficult year that sticks out to you? Something that distracted from the hardships and down times?

I've had so many good times this year. Yesterday, my friend and I were at the library and this girl working at the desk snorted and that shit was SO FUNNY because she definitely didn't want to snort. We weren't trying to laugh at her because it really could've happened to any of us. I guess it was just a laugh we both needed. Every show I've played has been a blast; I usually really like meeting and interacting with new people and those places have presented some cool opportunities to meet and reconnect with people. One of my closest friends let me stay at her house for a minute while I was tryna get my life together and there were a lot of fun times then. I guess something that distracts me is knowing that I don't know what tomorrow's gonna be like. That's kinda reassuring.

How would you say you’ve found yourself as an artist through this time, wether through soundcloud, live shows or just generally making music? In a sense, how has your musical vision developed?

I'm actually not entirely sure how to answer that one. I guess what comes to mind first is how I've developed as a person. I still really need to work at being more collaborative. Hearing what other people have to say and how they say it in their art has really touched and inspired me to be a better artist. I like to surround myself with people who inspire me to be a better person and to be a better me. I think finding myself as an artist is kind of an everyday thing because who I am as a person and who I am as an artist are one in the same. In my art, I try to say and be some of the things I am and stand for. Sonically, I feel like I could produce about anything, but I'm not really sure why I like making music in the genre that I do. I guess it just feels like it's the most me if that answers the question When I go back and listen to my old stuff I can hear who I was and what I cared about. I like hearing myself mature but I also wish the old stuff was just as good as what I have now. But if it were just as good, then there'd be no point in growth.

Would you personally say you have a certain type of person or listener you hope to resonate with? Possibly someone who may have felt or is going through situations and emotions similar to yours?

Honestly, whenever people reach out to me to tell me how my music has impacted them it's so so incredibly surprising. Maybe it shouldn't be because we're all people and people go through shit, but it is. This one time someone told me that my music helped them stop self harming and I was like, "damn. that's what I needed x amount of years ago". So it's nice to know that my stuff is sometimes able to provide for others what I struggle to provide myself. I guess one thing that's really influenced the progression of my sound is how I grew up around a lot of white people and, up until now, I never really felt "Black enough" or good enough in any regard, so I've always hoped that what I say and how I say it resonates with those who look like and experience the world in a way that might be even the slightest bit similar to the way I do. Of course, I believe that a lot of music is for everyone, and I would definitely encourage anyone to listen to and feel with my music, but I would love for it to resonate with the Black people just trying to do the day-to-day.

Absolutely, that's essential in music. When you personally were becominging interested in music and art, who were the musicians who did the same for you and your emotions?

Oh boy. There’s so so many, the artists that first come to mind are: Isaiah Rashad, Ravyn Lenae, Steve Lacy for sure, MoRuf, Lo-fi Le-vi, Daywave, Lauryn Hill, Noname, Wild nothing, Abra, Thundercat, Willow Smith, Beach fossils, Bibio, Shlomo, King Krule, Yeek, Brent Faiyaz, TORO Y MOI!, Childish Gambino for sure, Redline Graffiti, Princess Nokia, TOM MISCH, Little Dragon, OutKast, Alicia Keys and Michael Jackson.I guess the people I’ve done my best to imitate would be Joji, Ravyn Lenae, Brent Faiyaz, Lauryn Hill, Noname, Chance, Gambino, Earth Wind and Fire and Washed Out. Every artist I’ve ever liked has had a profound impact on me. But I think some of my friends have had the largest impact. My friend who makes music under the name Nicole Watson has had a massive influence over how I write and how I sing. I definitely wouldn’t be where I am without her. Aside from her, my friend Joseph who goes by TEMPOREX, and then my old step-brother named Jay who makes music under the nam “Dream-Like”.  I’ve been a part of a few artist group chats that’ve really encouraged me. One specific one that comes to mind was created by this guy named Marcus who brought us all together as a fanclub group for The Internet band. The people I can name from that off the top of my head are Aidan Ochre (he makes music under that name), this producer named Walt, this dude named Deon, and a few other guys. My friend who makes music under the name Oliv Blu has also been a pretty big source of inspiration for me.

When you see the paths these inspirations of yours take, the improvements and new sounds they explore, what paths do you begin to hope to go down and what are musical avenues you hope to explore later?

I guess I hope to go down the paths I don’t yet know yet. I don’t think I’ll ever  want to completely transform into some other musician. I personally think borrowing and adopting aspects of another’s work is park of being an artist, but to completely adopt their sound, style, subject matter or whatever would be a disservice to myself. I have stuff to say and if I’m not saying it as myself then I feel like that’ll just retract from the value of what I personally think and feel. I guess in the end I just want to like where I’m going as an artist. And if we’re talking  musical avenues... I’d say the unreleased stuff I’m holding onto is deeper in the Rnb/Soul genre. I think, in a way, when I first started making music was when it was at its best. I’ve really been trying to get back to that raw sound because Oof really felt like I was trying to conform to a mold that other “bigger” artists have already laid out. To get there I’d love to be able to combine the rnb with some of the more jazzy influences and  little bit of shoegaze/chillwave or something.. I think it’d be pretty dope to keep some of the lo-fi attributes in there too.

How did you find yourself approaching the avenues of releasing ‘oof’, and what did that project represent as a whole for you?

With Oof I was revisiting a lot of old soundcloud demos I put out like 2+ years ago and cleaning them up a bit. I actually don’t remember if I had any intention with that one outside of trying to gain some traction in my music career. The goal was at least to to do better than I did on Ghost on the Run, but there wasn’t a whole lot of intention behind Oof as a project. Most of the songs are either me processing depression/anxiety stuff or other shit from my silly love life. In the end, all the songs just ended up sounding like they’d work together. I tried to put them in an order that “made sense”. Every time I’ve finished a project I look back at it and think “that doesn’t really feel like me.” but this upcoming EP/Album I have titled “with love,” feels a little closer to what I sounded like when I first started making music. I like that a lot. So to go back, Oof was a period of growth. What’s funny is that I go through the same exact emotional process whenever I release an album and then a couple months down the road I look back and I’m like “eh.” and then a few more months follow and again I look back and listen for where and how I can improve.

I feel like art and learning in general is about learning to experience, in whatever way one does, the space between the skills they’ve gained. Like if someone gets a trophy for every drum pattern, each vocal run, or every piano/guitar chord they know, then eventually they’re gonna step back and be like “damn, I have all these trophies and there isn’t much space left for any more”. But if they look closer they’ll find that the gaps between their trophies are bigger than they thought. There’s always space for more. Sometimes it’s just really fuckin hard to see those spaces, especially if you’re doing the same shit over and over.

When you look back upon that project and the work you're currently doing, what have you found the biggest differences to be and do you find yourself prideful of oof and those past works?

If we’re talking technicalities, I feel like I do a better job with my vocal runs and general layering stuff. I also feel like I’ve become a better lyricist and I feel like I’ve let go of the structure that I used to embrace. I’m proud that I was able to complete them (the albums) because I have ADHD so finishing shit can be really hard for me. It’s nice to see that I am capable of finishing projects when I really put my mind to it. The developments between each one are some things to be proud of.

What would you say is your biggest goal going forward and what are you going to do to ensure it becomes completed?

Honestly man, I just wanna be happy. I don't really care whether I blow up or not, I just want to keep making stuff that helps me feel good about myself because I've been pretty damn unhappy for a long time and I feel like it's about damn time that turns around. I want to produce films and write poems and somehow incorporate all of my arts into one final project one day, like a masterpiece of some kind. That'd be pretty dope to see.

Moses Sumney once signed a dollar and gave it to me after a show when he had like 4k followers on IG and I am DETERMINED to meet him at some music award show and give it back to him. That's when I think I'll be like "yep. I'm good.” I don’t even know why,  I don't even really care about giving it back to him that much. But I've been holding onto that thought since I was a junior in high school and I gotta bring it to fruition. I also want to be able to make other people happy. I'm doing my best to do that now, but I don't have a whole lot of resources to help people like I want to. I definitely contribute to efforts when, where, and however I can; but it'd be pretty damn tight to have the mobility to do it on a larger scale. At the same time, I think it just matters that I do what I can whenever I can for whoever needs it. I'm still trying to think that one through. I want to help my family be happy and I want to help kids get access to the arts they wanna practice. I would also love to help them learn how to practice those arts, if they fall under the pretty wide variety of things i'm learning to do,if not, I'd love to help them find people who can help them. And I guess by doing that I'd be paying respect to the people who've helped get me to where I am today. Like a pay it forward kinda thing.

I love your story about Moses, I’m sure you’ll get it one day. Maybe as a final question, and it may be really loaded for you. But, what is the point to this difficult journey you’ve undertaken? Why is it you have poured your heart and soul into this all? Why, for you, is it all worth it?

The most difficult journey for me has been learning that I'm worthy of being heard and loved and understood. I'm still working at it, but I've been trying to recognize that what I say and how I say it has value as a contribution to the greater human to non human life to earth to universe conversation. It's kind of hard to think about sometimes but I know that because I even have the opportunity to be alive with the resources and people I have around me, I have to do something with it all. I am choosing to have the responsibility of making something of everything that's been given to me so I can give it to others and then, I hope, they'll do something with what they have and pass it on to someone else in whatever capacity they're able to give. I guess another thing that's been incredibly frustrating for me has been watching all of my friends do really well with their music while the progression of my "career" has been super slow. It's taught me how to be happy for others and how to separate my success from theirs, but that's been a little frustrating. In the end, if it doesn't work out I'll probably keep doing music but it'll just be a hobby. I'll pick up something else and try that.

That’s a perfect way to look at it and visualize what the purpose is. Do you have anyone to shoutout or anything to promote? The floor is yours!

Yeah! I'm dropping a single this Friday, November 23! Also follow me on instagram @xavley and comment a Never Gonna Give You Up reference one of @TEMPOREX’s instagram posts and tell him Xavier sent you. Also go listen to Dream-Like because he's been dropping a lot of hot tunes lately.

Follow Xavley on Instagram and Twitter

Listen on Spotify and Apple Music

Photos by Colin Shephed, Ben Ward, and Travvis Redding

[thebandcampdiaries]

Zama Rripa - American Soul

Zama Rripa is a talented artist and songwriter currently based in Miami, Florida. His sound could be described as a prolific and passionate blend of Americana, root-rock and more, going for a really unique and charismatic approach. Recently, he set out to complete the works on a new project, a release titled “American Soul”. This project will actually see the light of day later this month, and people will be able to enjoy the nuances and the details of this remarkable release!

To me, Americana is a really timeless music genre. It is really all about carrying the fire and sharing powerful stories, sometimes even going back decades. It’s always amazing to see that the style and edge that has turned Americana into one of the most pivotal art forms of the century is actually still alive and well, with many new performers retracing the steps of some of the best artists in the industry, while adding a very new and innovative spin to it. This i most definitely the case of Zama Rripa, an artist who is definitely inspired by some of the truest icons of the genre, even though he has developed a sound that is very much his own. Zama is a realy mercurial artist, a person who has the ability to experiment with various genres and ideas, making for a unique, diverse and forward-thinking feel. He has the power of innovating music, while maintaining his sound fresh and familiar at the same time. When you listen to the should featured on the artist’s most recent release, “American Soul”, you might actually immediately feel a connection between Zama and some of the most inspiring songwriters on the scene, from Bob Dylan and Paul McCartney, down to modern acts like Fleet Foxes or even Bon Iver, only to mention a few. For Zama, the possibilities are truly endless.

“American Soul” is a very remarkable release, because this project allows the incredible edge of rock music to meld in with the intimacy of roots music, going for a very particular and one-of-a-kind sound. In terms of production, “American Soul” certainly hits the mark with a fantastic and clear tone. The record feels refreshingly crisp and intelligible and it is polished but never overproduced. This is quite important to me, because I’m always a fan of albums and songs that sound really pristine, yet not too over-cooked in the studio. This way, you can still experience the human element in the music, as opposed to some stock studio trickery! In this case, this release definitely has got plenty of warmth and personality!

“American Soul” is actually going to be released on October 26th, 2018, just a few days away! Stay tuned, and do not miss out on this remarkable release, as well as other content from this talented and passionate artist. If you enjoy the work of legendary artists such as Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, John Mellencamp, Fleetwood Mac or The Beatles, Zama Ripa’s new music is definitely going to be right up your alley!

https://iamzamarripa.com/music/

We also had the chance to chat to the artist - Keep reading to lear more!

I love how you manage to render your tracks so personal and organic. Does the melody come first, or do you focus on the beat the most?

Answer: Depends from song-to-song. Some of the songs come melody first, in the head. “Forever Sung” is one of those songs. “Live and Let Live” came from a guitar jam with the beat. I had the lyrical concept for the song laying around and it seemed to fit. “Live Your Thing” I had a lyrical concept, and picked up the guitar and the little intro Stonesey-like guitar riff came out, with the concept in mind, and the song built around that. “Left Behind” came out at once, sitting there with the guitar and just letting the words and riffs and chords go-where-they-may—the characters in the song appeared. “Live Your Thing” was written in an hour. “Left Behind” in 2 hours. Some songs take weeks, and the great majority of the song ideas I’ve had have never grown into full songs. But I keep everything.  I always write down or record any and all little ideas, whether melodies, lyrics, concepts, riffs, chords, or what-have-you and then then fill them in while walking or driving, or going to sleep on them, before revelations come out. Sometimes things will come to your head out of nowhere. I try and keep the antennae up in perpetuity. Like I said though, of course, some ideas come to fruition sooner than others -- I’ve got thousands of initial ideas still refusing to reveal themselves. It gives me great anxiety. But I don’t push. Just carry on. But those un-realized ideas do haunt.

Do you perform live? If so, do you feel more comfortable on a stage or within the walls of the recording studio?

Answer: I do perform live. I came up street-busking. I played in handful of bands over the years, mostly in Los Angeles, CA, USA. But I love the street. It’s anonymous, it’s alive, tuned-in, and you never know what will happen or who you’ll meet. I have a deep-seated need for both performing and writing. I’m always inclined toward the intensity of both, to get it out and express it. It’s cathartic and alive—that’s the destination, with the hope of peace, following, which is rare, but that’s the goal. I always say it’s the pursuit of grace, mercy, and joy, and truth. Most of the time you don’t know where it is, but you know it when you hear it and feel it. I think the freedom and hope and possibilities come from the process, and the faith and discipline to follow the process day-in day-out. I had an inkling, a glimpse, but I couldn’t grasp it for so long. And it’s hard to hold once you do grasp it. But it’s the only way. And really, most importantly, of course, at the core, it’s love we’re after. And to get it, you’ve got to stand where the fire is. Always. Stand where the fire is. That’s the only way to live – to be alive. Stand where the fire is.

If you could only pick one song to make a “first impression” on a new listener, which song would you pick and why?

Answer: “Live Your Thing” – first, there’s no other way to live, it’s the only mechanism which allow the pursuit and hope of realizing happiness and tapping joy. All of the songs are about that in some way or another, but perhaps this one says it most palatably. It’s tough, though. I love to rock, and I love the more vocal harmony songs. I love it all, and at some point want to do it all. Much of the “American Soul” record material was different, as it was more concept-driven, so the sonics may seem to serve as the vehicle. Also, this record was recorded somewhat primitively and on-the-fly -- I worked with musicians coming from very diverse backgrounds, over a period of two months, in multiple studios, and I was not trying to stamp the record with a definitive “sound.” We just recorded it song-by-song, with what we had available at the time and how we felt at the time. I will re-visit all of these songs at some point with just the guitar and harmonica and foot drums to see where they go. I’m not sure any song is ever finished. Just like old stories from the good ‘ole days, they change or diminish or more commonly, become wildly embellished over time. If you’re interested, there’s back-stories on all of the songs here: https://iamzamarripa.com/music/

What does it take to be “innovative” in music?

Answer: For me, not trying to be “innovative” and following the very muse that makes you want to say something in the first place, wherever it takes. I think the door to anything must always be open. Following down every path of every road and back again, if you have that luxury as far as the economics of time allows. Focusing on finding the truth of what you are expressing, boxing it on its ears, turning it on its head and attacking it from every angle – owning your art. Living in your art. Being your art. Life as art. That said, there are so many great artists who were explicitly trying to be innovative and succeeded wildly. But I would say, not just for the sake of it, but because those artists had elemental, primal truths to speak, with the conviction and seemingly other-worldly mandate to do so.

Any upcoming release or tour your way?

Answer: The release is the album “American Soul” and there is a tour starting in the Southeastern US this winter, which will hopefully expand through summer.

Anywhere online where curious fans can listen to your music and find out more about you?

Answer: Thank you for asking. Below are some links. They’re all works-in-progress. The goal is to keep growing and building. The ultimate goal though is to make this world a better place. As I always say, we gotta love each other as intensely as possible, every day, all the time. We should strive for grace and mercy and truth and beauty in all our actions. This is the only way – the proper code of human conduct. We’re not perfect – we’re human – we’re never going to be perfect. But we have to try – we have to seek perfection. Every day we gotta get up and ask: “What’s today?” and respond: “An opportunity to be awesome.” And we have to let the music play, eternally. We’re here to serve each other. I’m trying to serve as best I can.

“American Soul” releases October 26, at all digital stores including:

iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/album/id1438916290?ls=1&app=itunes

AppleMusic: http://itunes.apple.com/album/id/1438916290

Zama Rripa website: http://iamzamarripa.com/

Zama Rripa “American Soul” Youtube Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7aXUgLZJOw&list=PLkj6LpPL3Ig2-tr8QiN3ObsolocooULni

Zama Rripa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zama.rripa7/

Zama Rripa Facebook Music Page: https://www.facebook.com/zamarripamusic/?modal=admin_todo_tour

Zama Rripa Twitter: https://twitter.com/jpzamarripa7?lang=en

[theseventhhex]

La Force Interview

Ariel Engle

La Force is Ariel Engle, vocalist and newest member of Broken Social Scene. The music of La Force is nocturnal electronic pop, featuring Engle's enchanting vocals over dynamic production. Stepping up to the role first helmed by the immeasurable talent of Leslie Feist, Engle brings La Force's singularity to the familial energy of Broken Social Scene. Born out of the culmination of AroarA – her musical project with husband and Broken Social Scene bandmate Andrew Whiteman – La Force is a deep reflection on the magic and dismantlement of motherhood; the never-ending tightrope walk of life, and death; and the re-discovery of self. La Force captures the bold creative spirit of an undeniable voice… We talk to Ariel about varied vocals, motherhood and unwinding…

TSH: Tell us more about the genesis of your band name being in relation to a tarot card representing strength – what resonated with you most about this…

Ariel: I'm not into tarot per se, but I’ve always been drawn to the La Force tarot card. I can’t settle on who is in control, the lion or the woman. They seem to be in a delicate balance of power, one defined by the other. I see it also as the animal impulse in balance with the intellect. In French, words are gendered. I like that Force aka Power is female. Unfortunately vagina is male.

TSH: In terms of lyrics and subject matter, what sort of themes would you say were at the forefront of your mind for your debut release?

Ariel: In two words: Life and death. I was losing a parent while becoming a parent. It’s about the dismantlement of identity and birth of a new one. There are major growing pains on this record. Lots of liminal states. Dream-like diaphanous feelings. The aftermath of a loved one’s death is unlike any other state as is the state of new motherhood. There is no preparation for it and for some, like me, it was at times eviscerating.

TSH: Is there a particular emphasis on the notion of being able to lose it all?

Ariel: It’s definitely one of the themes on the album. I remember having a moment where I felt like I had it all. All my future projections had materialised. I had my health, no one I loved had died, I had a new healthy baby, a great partner, a home and I was supporting myself by singing. I had the feeling of standing on a mountain with my riches barely contained in my hands with the pieces about to slip out at any time... and they did. On ‘Lucky One’, I’m waiting for the axe to fall – stating that we are ultimately at the mercy of lady luck. On that track I give my pessimistic tendency the mic.

TSH: As you went about fleshing out ‘Lucky One’, what sort of intentions and ideas did you initially have in mind?

Ariel: I wanted to deliver a ‘straight’ song. Something immediate and easy to connect to. Andrew Whiteman helped me write it. He’s good at delivering pithy lyrics that I struggle to find.

TSH: Moreover, what sort of motivations do you draw on to pen a track like ‘Upside Down Wolf’?

Ariel: I love that song. It was a very quick song. I kept the lyrics I first came up with on garage band. I’d picked up my 4 string cigar box guitar that I call my wolf because there’s an image of a wolf on it. It had been strung right handed (I’m a lefty) for an actor who was in a production of The Caucasian Chalk circle for which Andrew and I had written music. I left the instrument at the national theatre school in Montreal for a year. When I got it back, the strings were out of key a half step and I wrote a song as it was. Strung upside down and out of tune. I made up a pattern that reminded me of African records I heard growing up. I love the cascade of circular guitar patterns. I love music that is mesmerising, either through the use of drones or repetition. My first love for music is getting in a state of being rather than a state of thinking. That’s probably why lyrics generally come second to mood.

TSH: How would you assess the overall sonics of your vocal delivery throughout this release?

Ariel: I think they are varied. They were recorded in different places at different times. I wanted people to hear me so they could connect to my voice with little impedance. I was especially pleased with the way ‘Mama Papa’ was captured. We recorded that towards the end of the process in Montreal at Studio Mixart with the help of Warren Spicer from Plants and Animals. It has a warmth that I like and would look for again on future recordings.

TSH: What’s been the most liberating aspect of your recent musical endeavours?

Ariel: Making decisions that were my own. Having the final say and giving myself licence to trust my musical impulses. It’s a rush. I’ve always been in collaborative musical environments. It’s perhaps more natural for me but I’m excited to see who I am becoming as solo La Force. I may like it more than I’m willing to admit because I have strong opinions about sounds. Not all the sounds on my album are as exactly as I’d like but I’m happy with it overall and at many moments very happy.

TSH: What piques your interest most during the limited windows of time that you have to get around whilst on tour?

Ariel: I try to walk as much as possible in a given city. I look for local unpretentious places to eat, bookstores, vintage clothing and occasionally a museum. I like to feel that I’m on a little adventure in each town. I want to feel what it smells like, how its residents move in it and shape. I will often invite people I meet along the way to come to the show.

TSH: Does being immersed within the art form of music allow you at times to feel free from stress and anxiety hurdles?

Ariel: It both causes it and relieves it. I think that with any art there are moments of total release from the day to day. This is the alpha state that artists strive to attain. There's no magic formula for getting there and sometimes trying too hard to feel inspired can be a stress in itself. There are also moments on stage when all pain melts away. Those are the highs we all get addicted to.

TSH: How has motherhood changed you as an individual?

Ariel: It tore my sole a new one. I cannot unknow the love or the feeling of someone’s total reliance on me.

TSH: What does spirituality entail for you personally?

Ariel: I'm still trying to find out but I know it’s out there or in me and I need it. I recently asked my atheist mum what she felt the meaning of life was and she said ‘living’. Now I just need to understand why we die and what that all means. I shun those who claim to know and yet have found no answer. I’m open to an epiphany.

TSH: What are you primarily passionate about outside of music?

Ariel: I love interesting clothes preferably ethical designers and am passionate about shoes. Perhaps I’ll design some one day. I also love looking at architecture details; old tiles, old plaster, and last but never least, my fascinating and deep souled little daughter.

TSH: How do you like to unwind in your spare time?

Ariel: Solitude and silence. Preferably lying down looking at my window at the mountain across the street. When I occasionally exercise it winds me down but it involves getting up from my silent solitude.

TSH: Finally, looking ahead with your solo project, what is your biggest drive?

Ariel: Finding my people. The handful or armful who will connect to and with me. That drives me. Nothing grandiose, just genuine. I hope to keep a steady output. Maybe find new collaborations for short projects.

La Force - “Lucky One”

La Force - La Force