#he doesn't know me and i don't think about his interpersonal life outside of the displays of friendship we see between him and the cast

[blackcrystalball]

I am neither a pro or anti for anything and I don't engage with pro/anti shipper discourse because I was there for the several Steven Universe debacles.

But I just need to know; who the fuck do these people think they are.

Genuinely who the fuck do they think they are, because making assumptions on someone intentions with their own friends based on the insane stories they're making up is fucking ridiculous.

I'm not even going to touch on the rpf shit because that adds an additional layer to this that are honestly still not as rude as shitting on their actual, real life friendships.

Do these people not have friends? I presume not because if how they behave online speaks to who they are as people, I can't imagine anyone would want to subject themselves to that.

Honestly, white knighting for a grown woman who is more than capable of handling herself both professionally and interpersonally is not only bizarre but also fucking pathetic. It's weird, sad and embarrassing.

They're being hateful dickholes for what? What are they going to get out of this? Because it certainly won't be Angela's approval.

The Smosh twitter girlies need to get lives, actual friends and diaries urgently because this behaviour is unacceptable and just plain embarrassing. Like I cannot stress enough how embarrassing that kind of behaviour is going to be for them once they mature enough to see it for what it is. I've been a phannie since 2014, I remember the Phan proof videos, thinking about the posts I made back then feels like dunking my body in ice water.

And the worst part of their behaviour is the fact that real people are getting caught in the cross fire. Behaviour like this is going to happen over and over again. Every fandom will have deranged behaviour like this forever. The real issue is that the subjects of their obsession and discourse are real people with internet connection. The cast are seeing this shit.

They aren't made up little characters birthed and killed whenever you turn your laptop on or off. They're real and they can read. They are seeing this shit.

They are seeing it.

i remember some of those losers on twitter were implying/joking with their other loser friends that damien was trying to push the ship for his popularity sake (their ego and and how important they think their warped perspectives are to the creators they are fan of as an incular little community is laughable btw) because he dared to mention angela a couple times. (im not even gonna get into how infantalizing it is to be this protective over 30 something year old capable adult woman. but i guess you can only be infantalizing to men!! women dont count as adult humans capable of controling their own narrative i guess lol) or they would imply he was being weird and obsessed because god forbid he had something to say about his coworker he clearly values and likes a lot because she is talented and lovely (this is something only the parasocial angela stans on twitter can notice and appreciate not the people who know her real life!!! nope!!!) just like he does with his other coworkers/friends btw. he also mentions them when its in the right context. shocking concept! (i remember him mentioning how chanse gives good level-headed fashion advice and how gentle he is with it how erin/spencer are so funny etc etc on his streams but nobody is clipping that because it doesnt fit an anti-shipper or shipper narrative!) these are types of fanfics/headcannons a hardcore shipper would come up with btw, i always notice how hardcore shippers acts the same delusional ways with antishippers but with narratives shifted a little, jokingly or not. they are made from the cloth lmao. there are some stans that loove taking largely innocuous stuff like this to fit their narrative about what damiens true intentions are over every little normal human things he does because they are obsessed with their idea of him as this uniquely bad dude that i think actually reflects who THEY are on the inside :) just my humble little opinion/rant. i really dont think they are that important or have much power btw. just annoying and loud in their own community which goes away easily if you mute it/ignore it. which i did for a longtime but this weird shit they are doing sparked some hidden ire i guess lol, all fan spaces have weirdos like this. i have been in a kpop fandom before and its so funny how these people are doing the same stupid ship wars over a youtube/improve troop. im sure they also partake in similar fandoms before just like this. talking about biases being obsessed with lineups etc all are kpop standom language. its that type of behavior a fanship/parasocial relashiship driven mega industry cultivated spilling over every little micro fandom now. /this is just my weird theory that explains some of the off putting behaviors i've seen, in my experience at least.

It is wild to me just how much Damien is hated over there on smoshtwt, and people are attacked for stanning him. The same for the crazy amount of hate damangela gets as a ship.

I think it's unfortunate that damangela stuff cropped up after shourtney came out as married so people began suspecting that people shipped damien and Angela in the same way?

Also, admittedly, there is a lot of infantilizing of both Damien and Angela by their respective fans.

I think it really just needs to be an issue of blocking/muting antis like you said!

[hexhomos]

I don't know if you've written about this before, but I saw that you wrote a bit about Jayce's potential origins in Arcane. I was wondering if you wrote anything similar about Viktor anywhere, or what you headcanon his heritage to be? I know he was originally Evil Russian and is now vaguely Czech. Arcane leaves it extremely untouched, but I always thought it was implied his parents were immigrants based on the unique accent (not typical for Zaun or Piltover which basically means not American/UK based), and the fact that he even has an accent where Jayce doesn't (even though Ximena does). Viktor is such a narratively isolated character in Arcane that it's hard to rationalize him having a large interpersonal community in Zaun, which makes me doubt he belonged to like a specific cultural enclave, but I don't really know.

I vaguely implied his mother comes from Bilgewater in my catafalque fic i think, but that isnt a "country" so much as an island that got turned into an universal pirate all-purpose hub in the middle of the sea. Viktor’s deal is that he's inextricable from Zaun (as one of the establishing champions of that region, defining look and theme for so much that came later) but he's very much penned as an Outsider, alienated, etc. He was born here but he doesn't fully Assimilate, his disability and his accent detaching him from standards of normalcy.

My solution to this general conundrum is that his family originates from Somewhere Beyond. The continents and regions currently displayed in the league worldmap aren't the "entirety" of the world, just what the lore has explored so far. There are other places behind the dark spots of the map that we haven't seen yet! One big example of this being the birthplace of Nilah, the yet-unrevealed Kathkan region, which takes inspiration from south & southeast asia. (Nilah is specifically drawing from India, iirc.)

Here's what im talking about, taken from the Ruined King book:

See how the land keeps going off the side? There's more we haven't seen!

This map is also some centuries outdated, which is why you see Zaun's pre-colonization name (Oshra Va'Zaun) and some pieces of land that have since nuked themselves out of existence (Camavor has gone through a life-extinction event known as the Ruination, and records of its existence stopped circulating.)

In my head, somewhere beyond that border is where Viktor’s family came from, but since they were fishermen (remember Zaun is a harbor town) they eventually end up as part of Bilgewater's regular population, until his mother settles down inside Zaun, where Viktor is born. ta-da! The finer details and lorebuilding are up to the viewer, take your pick.

[cillyscribbles]

my modern!cats au giving me, an avid non-smoker, thoughts about smoking and self image, of all things. i will put them under the cut, but meanwhile! enjoy this 1. shameless illustration of my own fic 2. tugger not quite loving the makeup (or costuming) of his poet-murderer role. (yes a local staging of roberto zucco changed my life, very nice of you to ask!)

so smoking bad etc etc don't smoke. anyway, all three brothers deuteronomy smoke, or at least have smoked for large chunks of their lives, albeit for wildly different reasons and standpoints.

munkustrap's been smoking since middle school, his start more or less aligning with the time period when old deuteronomy falls sick, grizabella ramps up her work, and munkustrap, at the ripe old age of maybe 14, starts managing the household and finances and whatnot.

he wishes he'd never started smoking, don't get me wrong. he wishes the relief of the thing wasn't worth it. he quits and starts again throughout the years, over and over and over, climbing into the third decade of the habit without being able to break it, never moving past the numbed feeling of failure for it. it's the one crack you'll occasionally catch in that aged picture of constant steadfastness and responsibility he's got going on.

to be unable to handle it all feels to him as good as giving up entirely. he smokes behind the school. he puts away the ashtrays when he has guests over. he doesn't like smoking with company, and he hates his shame being made known. if you'll allow me a pretentious second, it's sort of like an upward climb that he wants to take on alone so nobody else sees him stumble, and no one helps him if he twists an ankle. it's fine by him because he needs to be able to handle it himself. he needs to.

so. all this, versus tugger, who started well into adulthood and barrelled into it full and consciously. tugger, who smokes to replace sleep and sanity when his life runs on cigarettes and caffeine. but nothing more. he doesn't care to quit, he doesn't care to change. cigarettes look good between his fingers. he knows how to hold them pretty, like he knows everything else about himself that builds the picture he wants.

and, on a more interpersonal level, it upsets him that munkustrap is so acutely ashamed of it, the same way munkustrap is upset tugger is so casual about it. to some degree, though, i think that's because tugger's entirely hyperaware of how fragile life is and on how small a technicality shit can go sideways and end up killing him or anyone else. it's hard for him not to think about it. but it gives him some sort of strength to look for morbid humour in the things munkustrap wouldn't let himself laugh at, i think. it's gallows humour, to be fair, but it's good humour to tugger nonetheless. he finds stakes if not thrilling then certainly intriguing.

besides, making any sort of change to himself for other people, to tugger, is like betraying himself. he's built up that resistance to outside influence, and he's built it up hard and total. he doesn't mold, he doesn't bend, he'll do and look and say whatever he wants, he associates seeking validation strictly with misery. he doesn't understand munkustrap's frustration, or desire to please people, nor does he want to.

the thing with how tugger is, i think, is that he's just prodded at enough for both the street culture he grew up in and the inclination towards self-preservation of someone visibly queer to mesh together into something that can be spectacular and unmovable, and sometimes still turn ugly. i think curiosity is easy to push into cruelty with tugger.

shame is easy to mock for someone who's overcome it and tries hard to forget how insidious it can be. i think both munkustrap and tugger can be cruel to each other without wanting to and without really transgressing toward each other in a way that would dent their relationship, primarily because it's such a strong relationship but also because they're used to some sort of cruelty from the world at least, they just know better where to hit each other verbally to mess each other up. so. self-control, boys. comes to one of them easier than the other, LOL. and again, don't get me wrong. tugger doesn't want to be cruel to munkustrap, but it's not always a thing he can push away the instinct for. munkustrap doesn't want to be cruel to tugger, but he's been making hard decisions for ages and all but expects someone to be hurt by the end of it, and tugger is manageable. so. damn

[technicolorfamiliar]

The Passing of the Third Floor Back Dir. Berthold Viertel 1935

I think The Stranger could fix me.

I will never understand why more people don't reference this movie when talking about Connie's career. It's in his top five must-watch's for me, for sure.

The Passing of the Third Floor Back is not by any means a great or groundbreaking film. Some moments are shot well, some of the lighting is interesting, but over all there are relatively few bells and whistles, not that the film needs any. It's based on an older silent film based on a play, and that comes across in the film's focus being primarily on the story and character relationships. Some of the breakneck pacing doesn't really suit the dialogue or the story, but that was the style of filmmaking at the time. And that's why casting Connie as The Stranger was a brilliant move; his thoughtful and considered line delivery as well as his calm, grounded physicality disrupts the 1930s Britishness that defines the rest of the film. Casting another British actor as The Stranger may have worked depending on the actor, but Connie's otherness -- not only in his voice but also his height, demeanor, and fashion -- works in the character's favor… and the story's too.

The story of The Passing of the Third Floor Back is timeless because it's so true to life. People act out all the time without even realizing. They are cruel and unkind to others and themselves. It's contagious, if one or two people in a closed environment like a boarding house, workspace, team or club are overly negative and meanspirited, soon more and more people in that environment will start behaving similarly. At least that's been true in my experience. One person with a bad attitude or a tendency to gossip or be lazy or cliquish can slowly create a general atmosphere of bad behavior (especially so if that person is in a position of leadership).

The Stranger says of the other people in the boarding house, "It's not easy for them to see themselves. The illusions are so strong." Before he arrived, none of them were really seeing one another. They were reacting to their assumptions of one another, or to the worst versions of each other brought out by stress, living in close quarters, personal and interpersonal problems, etc. It took an outside perspective and the presence of someone seemingly different for them to begin to actually, finally see one another and themselves.

The single, 30-something Miss Kite's self-loathing presents as cruelty barely concealed by humor. But after a brief, sincere and openminded conversation with The Stranger, she dives into the wake of a huge steam boat to save Stasia (who really was asking to fall, I don't care how excited she was). When someone Miss Kite supposedly didn't care one iota about is suddenly in danger, she steps up without a second thought. She didn't do it for the recognition or attention, she put herself in harms way because it was the right thing to do, and afterward is treated like a hero. She's given a new source of self worth -- she realizes she can be brave. But it's not a one and done fix, she still reaches for her makeup when she sees her reflection after being in the water. But because she revealed her courage in the face of a crisis, people begin to see her differently, and hopefully so too she would gradually begin to see herself in a new light.

I really appreciate that The Stranger's influence isn't perfect. Everyone easily reverts back to their old ways, supposedly because of Mr. Wright acting against The Stranger, but they probably would have slipped into their old patterns regardless. The best The Stranger can hope for is to plant seeds of goodness in each of them. And just like people in real life, some people just aren't as receptive to change. After all, it's always harder to eliminate bad habits than it is to implement good ones.

I'm not sure what's going on with Mr. Wright. Does he know who or what The Stranger really is? Or is he just a dick? The movie probably would have worked without an openly antagonistic character. Wright could have just been creepy and gross in a normal creepy and gross way. I'm not sure we needed the scenes with him and The Stranger to play out the way they did. The more I think about it I feel like those scenes kind of cheapen the story. Most audiences are smart enough that you don't have to turn your script into an outright morality play for them to get the point. Those two scenes are probably the only thing I would have changed about the script. The Stranger and Wright needed to have a confrontation, but Wright insinuating that he knows The Stranger's motives and rules makes it seem like Wright is more than he appears to be and ehhh idk. The movie just doesn’t need it. In my opinion, anyway. It's like the writers were trying to say a bad guy can't just be a regular dude who does bad things. It would speak more to our reality, in 1935 as much as 2025, if Wright was just a regular person without any special knowledge or abilities who enjoys hurting and exploiting others. And it's interesting that he's a self-made man, someone who built himself up from nothing -- if this movie really wanted to say something it could have been about the nature of power and money being potentially corrosive to a person's soul. So as a formerly destitute person, Wright could have been a challenge for the audience as someone we want to empathize with deep down, because he raised himself up by his bootstraps and that makes him more relateable. But any empathy we may have had for Wright as a complicated character is destroyed when he outs himself as having some kind of special knowledge about The Stranger for some reason. I haven't read the book or the play, so I don't know if this dynamic originated in the source material or if it was an addition on the part of the screenwriters but it's unnecessary and treats the audience like they're too stupid to handle a morally complicated character.

I'm not going to do a character analysis of everyone in the film (today… maybe in the future lol), but it's worth talking about Stasia. I like that she's far from perfect, that her victimhood makes her act out even more than she probably would have otherwise. I like that she's not this naïve, innocent little kid. She's seen and been through some shit. And her armor is to be as mean-spirited and selfish as everyone else. She can give as good as she gets and, although she's clearly one of the more sensitive characters in the film, she's not a doormat. I mean, everyone calls her a useless little slut to her face all the time, no wonder she's as volatile as she is. She clearly has a conscience when most of the adults around her seem to lack any empathy at all until The Stranger arrives. Everyone in the house treats Stasia like she's an imbecile but she's likely the smartest out of all of them. She's the only one interested in nurturing something, the delicate white flower she keeps in a small pot. It's not clear how old Stasia is either. (Rene Ray was 23 - 24 when the film was made.) She's young enough that the landlady can threaten to send her back to whatever horrible orphanage or group home she was living in previously. But though she's a child, we get the impression from her interactions with Wright that she's lived a hard life, having to resort to thievery and very likely sex work to get by. But for as hard as her life has been when we meet her, she still maintains a childlike sense of wonder that finally gets to flourish when The Stranger comes into her life, and I just CAN'T TAKE IT. Stasia's the only one out of all those broken people who could have summoned The Stranger because, even if she's not perfect, even if she's damaged goods, she's the only one who is able to ask for "one decent person in the world." And we hope, we pray that the few days The Stranger spends with her will help her be that one decent person that someone else might need one day. UGH.

See, I love stories like this. For as mangled and beaten down as my own heart is, I love a story where someone good and full of love appears under mysterious circumstances to a bunch of messed up people. Usually these kinds of stories are centered around Christmas -- The Bishop's Wife: Carry Grant's Dudley helps David Niven and Loretta Young's marriage; Miracle on 34th Street: Edmund Gwenn's Santa Claus helps Natalie Wood and Maureen O'Hara believe in magic. While The Passing of the Third Floor Back isn't a Christmas movie and The Stranger isn't specifically called out as a supernatural being like Dudley the angel or Santa Claus, there are echoes of this story in those later films. There's almost as much suspension of disbelief in this film, and there may not be as much literal magic but the message and structure are basically the same. I mean, this movie is not subtle -- the boarding house is across the street from a church which we really only see when The Stranger arrives and departs. They don't really talk at all about God or Jesus like in The Bishop's Wife, but The Stranger embodies traditional virtues like hope, charity, and justice as well as values like patience, empathy, and honesty. It could very easily have been a Christmas movie if it had been made 5 - 10 years later. I guess the main difference is with those other movies, at the end you're left feeling like everything's going to be ok, everyone lives happily ever after. Here it's not such a sure thing. We hope Stasia and everyone else has healed permanently, but it seems incredibly tenuous. We hope The Stranger's work had lasting results, but there's no way to know for sure. Their new found hope in one another and themselves needs to be taken care of and nurtured regularly like Stasia's little flower UGHHHH, the s y m b o l i s m .

Obvs I have a lot I want to say about Connie's performance specifically, but here's a quote from him about the role from Feb 1, 1942 in the New York Herald Tribune:

"Evil can be strong and powerful, but it can never take the place of good. I felt this deeply at another time when playing the Christ-like character of the Stranger… My one aim was to play him as a man who wanted to give the world a lift, just as now the world so sadly needs a lift. The Stranger was the most difficult role I ever undertook. There was ever the danger of going too far. If for an instant it were made insincere, the part would fall to pieces.

"Another delicate question was that of appearance. I don't want to be blasphemous, but I played him as a well-dressed man… My one precaution in this respect was to keep the Stranger from any possibility of seeming theatrical. It struck me that those boarding-house people to whom he came might readily think of him as a traveler, even a traveling salesman, and so I had him wear a gray suit and carry a suitcase. His hair was well groomed, though white. But his face was not old. I tried to make him ageless.

"No mysterious light came or went with him. But when he was shown in his dingy room he took a flower from his coat and put it into a glass of water, then opened the blind and let in a gleam of sunlight. It was the simplicity of beauty you can make out of nothing. Of course, there was far more than that, something not quite of this world. The Stranger, like the Wandering Jew played by me earlier, was fantastic in a spiritual way."

I'm so glad we have quotes like this so we can kind of understand the way Connie thought about his work on this film, even several years later. The interview the quote is from must have been around the time he was doing Nazi Agent, which is another interesting point of comparison. The good brother in that film, Otto, is just an ordinary man but he's put in an extraordinary situation. The Stranger on the other hand is an extraordinary creature put in a very ordinary situation. Otto's goodness is human and relatable, or at least should be in the face of war and crimes against humanity. The Stranger is, like Connie said, Christ-like and therefore considered exceptional in his goodness. The love The Stranger has for humanity radiates out of him not through any special lighting effect but just by his calm openness.

(There are some interesting choices the filmmakers made with lighting. Throughout the film, The Stranger emerges from or is partly concealed shadows. I'm not sure if this was like The Spy in Black and a nod to Connie's past work in German Expressionist silent films or just a successful way to keep the character mysterious. Either way, I thought it was a good choice.)

For having top billing, Connie doesn’t have a lot of dialogue in the film, at least comparatively. And what lines are spoken are done so with such exceeding gentleness and softness. Some lines are almost whispered. He does raise his voice in a plea to Wright, but that's the only time. Even when he lets the boarders have it for attacking Stasia at the end of the film, he's intense without shouting at everyone. A lesser actor could NEVER.

Most of the time The Stranger is observing everyone else. I love watching him watch everyone, especially Stasia. When he arrives at the boarding house, he has very little to say at their dinner party but is busy watching how the boarders interact with one another. He's not merely gathering data, he's reacting to them internally. The Stranger clearly has feelings, but Connie's so incredibly masterful at subtlety, that I wonder if this wasn’t one of the bigger challenges of the film for him. Regardless of however hard he's working, he makes it look effortless. I love watching him watch Stasia have fun and experience joy when they all go out on the steam boat. You can see in the way he looks at her that he's so happy for her, that she gets to actually be a kid for a few hours.

Connie was really concerned about dropping the ball with this film. He, at least in interviews at the time*, was worried that stepping back from more obvious acting choices, in order to inhabit the character in the most authentic and appropriate way possible, wouldn't translate through a camera. It seems he thought he was taking a big risk with the way he chose to play The Stranger, and I agree.

The Stranger, as a performance, is THE perfect example of being vs showing one's art. And so we get one of the most interesting, soulful, deeply compassionate, empathetic, and gentle performances from a male actor during this era, especially in British filmmaking where actors were often either total caricatures or way too buttoned up to emote at all.

I mean, Connie's fans know he could broadcast sexual vibes through time and space, but here in this film he's affectionate without any expectation of reciprocity or sexual overtones. He's broadcasting real intimacy, in his confidential tone of speaking, in his hand on another character's shoulder or arm, in a quiet secretive look. This is a person who makes whoever he's with feel exceptional, like they're the only two people in the world in that moment. He's completely present. It's. So. Fucking. Good. Connie talked about wanting to give the world a lift, but he's also lifting up his scene partners! He brings out the best in whoever he's on screen with with this performance, the same way The Stranger lifts people up! Yes, I am yelling!

And what about The Stranger himself? It's never explicitly stated that he is anything other than a wanderer, a traveler looking for lodging. We don't get any exposition scenes of him before he arrives at the boarding house. The audience knows as little about him as the characters in the film do. He is completely mysterious, and yet everyone pretty much trusts him implicitly, with the exception of Wright of course. We know exactly three things about The Stranger: one -- he is Good and hopes to inspire good in others; two -- he came to the boarding house specifically because Stasia wanted (instead of needed, interesting…) someone like him in her life; three -- he cannot directly interfere with people's lives in order to accomplish a desired outcome. And that's all we need to know! I can't help thinking if this movie was made today, most filmmakers would add some unnecessary backstory for The Stranger. Let protagonists be mysterious, people! Audiences don't need to know everything! Let us draw our own conclusions! Personally I like the possibility that The Stranger is the physical embodiment of an abstract concept/s, but that's just me. My point is that it's GOOD to have characters that spark conversation and multiple interpretations, I LOVE IT DO MORE PLEASE.

This matters even more when people walk away from a film being truly touched by a character or performance. People went to see this movie when it came out and were flattened by Connie's take on The Stranger, an existing character. Unfortunately I can't find the articles or quotes where this was originally mentioned (there really needs to be some kind of text-only repository of Connie articles/interviews), but apparently some people were so affected by this film that they wrote beautiful, heart-wrenching letters to Connie. Some people were so deeply touched and claimed this film helped save them in some small way, saying it was exactly what they needed at that moment in their lives. That, in short, Connie was unbelievably successful in what he hoped to accomplish with his performance, that he was able to reach through the camera and offer something genuinely beautiful and hopeful to those who needed it. UGH.

Maybe my takes on The Passing of the Third Floor Back are not new or even particularly nuanced. People have been saying the same things about this film ever since its 1935 release. But it remains one of my favorite Conrad Veidt films, I mean, top shelf stuff. He's doing the most interesting internal work an actor can do, certainly for the 1930s. He stands head and shoulders, literally and figuratively, above his fellow cast members and indeed most of his peers at that time. The kind of inward, reflective, subtle work he is doing in this film wouldn't become commonplace for years.

There's so much more about this movie to unpack. I haven't even talked about the gramophone man and class discrimination. Or the queer coding of Miss Kite and Larkcom. Or Wright's death -- was it really just a heart attack or did The Stranger "interfere" by opening the window for the gramophone man to get in?? Or about how Connie was making this AND King of the Damned AT THE SAME TIME. The two films could not be more different. Blows my mind.

Anyway, tl;dr Connie understood the assignment and gave us something truly beautiful and special.

*"My Most Difficult Role", Conrad Veidt interviewed by Max Breen, June 29, 1935

[vasito-de-leche]

so three things,one I love your hc/analysis on forget me not its *chefs kiss*and nice to see more content on him!! two I do have a request ! I am curious about your hcs for how forget me not would like actually navigate a relationship?

sorry if this is lengthy or if my request is a lot im a lil new to all this !!

;RE1999 FORGET ME NOT - Relationship Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons about Forget Me Not in a romantic relationship.

not lengthy at all, ty for the ask anon! <3 super glad you liked my FMN post too!!

you asked about how I think he'd ACTUALLY navigate a relationship, so I went a little deranged thinking about it cause the guy is FASCINATING to analyze. sorry if you were expecting something else! like, something more romantic? if you just want romance stuff, deffo feel free to leave another ask being more specific!

Right off the bat, Forget Me Not strikes me as a type of person who has a lot of trouble keeping any sort of solid relationships due to his poor interpersonal skills.

Similar to Pavia, he exists outside of conventional society - but unlike Pavia, Forget Me Not has taught himself how to imitate others and mask as a sound, hinged and regular individual. He can charm his way in and out of any conversation, change the tide to his favour and play any role necessary for his goals - but it's all play pretend in the end, because he wholeheartedly believes that none of it is meant to last. Every relationship and connection he makes is done with one purpose in mind: to further his goals.

When someone approaches Forget Me Not intending to seduce or romance him, he plays the role of a perfect gentleman. Or whatever is convenient at the moment, really. His keen eye allows him to quickly discern little details, until he fully figures out your type just so he can adapt accordingly. This is a fantasy that wears off overtime - once you overstay your welcome and outlive your usefulness.

And because Forget Me Not is too much of a coward to risk his reputation and hard work by being the one to break your heart, he manipulates the situation to come out of this relationship scot-free. If you can't find any reason to leave him on your own, don't worry, he'll make sure there's something.

But when it comes to him being interested in someone and navigating a romantic relationship...

When Forget Me Not falls for someone, he falls hard and fast.

I want to insist on the lack of interpersonal skills - Forget Me Not has gone years denying himself of something as simple as a friend, someone to confide in. His whole existence revolves around revenge. To him, there's no space for romance in his life, he has no time for something so "juvenile". He can't fathom the idea of being attracted to anyone. The muscle in his rib cage isn't capable of love, it's just there to keep him alive until the world is rid of humans.

And yet, as blind and oblivious as he may be to his own feelings, Forget Me Not falls hard and fast entirely because of how desperate for connection he is. Attraction is something that paralyzes him and affection is a parasite that worms its way into his heart.

When Forget Me Not falls for someone, he becomes impulsive and reckless, not a lot but just enough to be noticeable by those who see him regularly - there is this slightly intense and unhinged feeling to his words, as opposed to the suave and smooth talk he casually dishes out, like he's itching to unravel and show his true nature right there and then. It's something that you still pick up on, long after that conversation has ended, something that you must've heard incorrectly because it's a little out of character, coming from him.

This is because he has no fucking idea on how to deal with it, because he doesn't even know something is happening to him.

No matter what he does during this state, he finds a way to justify all of his actions because denial is his first and foremost coping mechanism. If he finds himself staring at you from across the room, it's because he's making sure you're behaving. To ensure you're not a spy or cause any trouble to other patrons! If he remembers your favorite drink, it's because he needs to get enough points to be on your good side. After all, you probably have a lot of information he could use. If his hand lingers on yours, it's because he was distracted. Etc, etc.

If it goes on for long enough without any sort of confrontation, it'll start to eat him from the inside. Forget Me Not will think that you're using some arcane skill on him to make him act this way before he acknowledges he has a crush on you. Suddenly, there's a whole new thing occupying his brain - whenever he's not dissociating at home, he's thinking about you and that's dangerous.

Surprises are the way to his heart.

It's very hard to catch his eye, since he doesn't care for appearance nor status - he just doesn't care, period. Again, love isn't an option for someone like him. But the one thing that will absolutely rock his world is being caught off-guard.

Forget Me Not is a great actor, he plays his roles in conversations perfectly, he studies the way people talk to each other, the way one must gesture and move, the appropriate amount of eye contact one should make. He micromanages every single aspect of conversations because diplomacy is his forte, it's something he needs to excel at. Long story short, he knows how each and every conversation should go for him to get his way.

Which is why hearing someone laugh when they shouldn't, a genuine snicker or a chuckle, is enough to give him pause. He's intrigued and lost, because people aren't supposed to behave like that. Not the type of people he's used to, anyway. Condescending laughter is to be expected, everyone is pretending to have fun, but a real laugh? Without any hidden meanings or implications? The audacity to go off-script, regardless of how that might affect you? That's what will inevitably put you right in his sights.

These surprises must start out small, however. Forget Me Not is a very jaded and vindictive person with a very fragile ego and stubborn mind - someone who openly goes against everything he stands for, regardless of whether they're right or not, will end up on his black list. As seen with his reaction to Druvis III choosing to move on from her grief, Forget Me Not doesn't do well with his beliefs being torn to shreds so suddenly.

This mentality about everyone being inherently rotten and bound by so many unspoken rules of conduct and whatnot needs to be challenged little by little. Because at the end of the day, Forget Me Not projects his own baggage onto the world, and he must ease himself into the idea that people (and himself) can have actual depth and be more than just a means to an end.

And sure, he has an obsessive personality - some of his behaviour stems from the need to figure out "the catch", like he's constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop when it comes to you, just so he can go "I knew it!" at the end. Forget Me Not, under all that aloof and detached confidence, is nothing but a wounded animal. Gaining his trust or approval is harder than it is losing it.

On the subject of falling for anyone who isn't a pure blooded arcanist.

There is the possibility that Forget Me Not may fall for a human or mixed - two groups that he, alongside Manus Vindictae, holds with extreme contempt and hatred. Right away, it goes against everything he stands for and, as stated before, he doesn't do well with his beliefs being challenged so abruptly.

Whereas Manus Vindictae is an organization that has no problem being so openly hypocritical in their practices (loathing humans, yet offering them salvation just so that they can be used as pawns), Forget Me Not is an individual who lives mostly within his own head, in a constant state of denial and delusion. The idea of falling in love is already ridiculous to him, I literally just spent so many paragraphs talking about how he needs to ease into the idea of forming any sort of meaningful connection, even if it's something he does yearn for and something that he does so horribly. So imagine the absolute fucking whiplash of falling in love with the representation of everything he despises.

Forget Me Not navigating relationships is already difficult enough, but him trying to navigate a relationship with a human or mixed - especially one that is vocal about his affiliation with Manus and his own opinions - is even harder.

But not necessarily impossible.

However, it would lean towards a godawful and unhealthy dynamic, in which he'll begin to blur the lines between affection and aggression. Think of an ourobos, a permanent loop of Forget Me Not being unable to let go while also pushing you away.

He scrambles to find any "rational" excuse to justify his attraction for you. If you're docile and compliant, he'll insist that you're "different" and "not like other humans" just to remain righteous and true to his beliefs by separating you from your roots. And if you're not afraid to call him out and argue with him, he'll feel validated in his beliefs and latch onto you like a parasite because "you need to be reminded of your place". It's unrealistic to think that Forget Me Not can change his mind and become a better person right away, he would need years to heal from his own baggage and biases, then even more time to undo all the things he's absorbed from Manus Vindictae.

But I know these types of dark relationships aren't everyone's cup of tea, so I won't go into detail about it! Other interpretations in which he manages to get rid of all the toxic sludge that is his emotional baggage and questionable morals are just as valid!

The way Forget Me Not acts when he's in an actual relationship.

Every relationship Forget Me Not has had so far has been for the sake of The Walden and/or Manus Vindictae, and he's always made sure to keep them at arms length anyway - so this would be the very first "proper" and official relationship.

And it's a mess. He reeks of insecurity.

Taking into account everything I've said just far, Forget Me Not could easily put all of that knowledge and masking into treating his partner like the gentleman he pretends to be daily. He could just do that! But it stops coming naturally to him the second he's in your presence. Because the thing that attracted him to you in the first place is all those details that set you apart from his "norm", Forget Me Not is stuck in this area of not knowing whether you'd prefer the person he pretends to be or something else, something he might not be able to provide. Note how it's "something else" and not just himself.

The idea of Forget Me Not as a person falls apart when inspected closely, and so he's left insecure and vulnerable. He latches onto you easily, in private and in public, shifting his focus to revolve around you instead - the brand, new and shiny light in his life - but lacks confidence when it comes to keeping you by his side without any sort of manipulation.

He tries, God, he tries so hard. But I can absolutely see him pull all sorts of moves on impulse. From really childish and petty things (insisting on being the only one to serve you drinks, subtly influencing the seats, so that you always sit somewhere he can see or without any of the other patrons bothering you) to genuinely insidious things (lying both to your face and behind your back to drive the people he considers "undeserving of your attention" away, keep you in the dark about certain topics).

It's a lot of back and forth, establishing boundaries and showing him the lines that shouldn't be crossed so that all these actions don't become the norm. To be in a relationship with him, you'll need a lot of patience to guide him or the backbone to set your foot down when needed. I'd say at this point, he'd definitely respond better to being challenged - you're his partner, after all, he holds you way above everyone else in the room, way above himself as well.

But once he's fully eased into the relationship? When he now knows you like the back of his hand? And you've shown that you're willing to stay, even with all of his faults? He becomes so very clingy, but also much more tired in your eyes.

Forget Me Not's antics - his possessiveness, slightly obsessive behaviour, etc - are replaced instead by this lingering feeling of sadness. Instead of kissing your hand in public to make a statement for the world, he holds your hand in private as if his life depended on it, because he now fully believes the relationship to be too good to last. It's like he's preparing to say goodbye before fully enjoying the present with you. Like you leaving him is not a possibility but the end of the road. Coincidentally, it's this "doomer" mentality what pushes Forget Me Not to be more confident when it comes to being vulnerable around you.

I like to think that Forget Me Not is extremely eloquent when needed, but he's physically incapable of talking about his trauma or any other unpleasant experiences in his life - it's directly a result of all this constant repression. So he wouldn't tell you about it, but he would still hope that you can understand him without the need for words. I just see him as a physical person once comfortable!

[arokel]

If you’re not swamped with requests, could I please have anything Bobby related with angst or hurt/comfort? 🙏🙏

Maybe Bobby is struggling to bond with the team because they’re very put off by his approach to rowing? (Like this guy sits and screams at them and critiques them all the time in the boat so it makes sense that they don’t like him at first, and Bobby gets it but the crew needs to fully trust their coxswain in order to be successful. And then maybe something happens and the team has to step up and be there for him, or alternatively Bobby does something that puts himself into harms way for them?

Honestly, feel free to do whatever, I’m happy so long as Bobby is in it 🙌

hey! sorry i went a slightly different direction than your prompt - i didn't think i could do it justice in a tumblr-sized fic <3 but this is at least in the spirit of it i think!

Befriending Al's Babies

Words: 1387 Rating: G Notes: this is book canon - aka Bobby, Chuck and Jim were in the varsity boat while Joe, Shorty and Roger were sophomores. Ulbrickson clearly had a soft spot for Joe's boat, which pissed off the varsity guys enough that Bobby created a specific chant about it - BAB, or "Beat A'ls Babies"

Bobby should be thrilled. They've got Rantz now, finally - Bobby knew he was the final piece long before Ulbrickson did, even though the prospect of working against Rantz's uneven technique doesn't fill him with joy - and the boat is flying. It's what Bobby has wanted, what he's known he could have, ever since he saw what that stupid sophomore boat could do last year and knew he could have made them even better.

But instead, there's something nagging at him.

"Alright, Moch, you've been frowning to yourself long enough," Chuck says, jogging slowly beside Bobby as they make their way up from the shell house towards campus. "Tell uncle Chuck and auntie Jim what's got you down when we should be celebrating."

"Why am I auntie?" Jim says. With his long legs he doesn't need to jog to keep up, even though Bobby is striding as purposefully and quickly as he can in the hopes of escaping any conversation.

Chuck is loping now, circling around in front of Bobby with a little backwards dancing step. "Because I don't want to be. Out with it, Bobby. You're no fun when you're moping."

"No one is fun when they're moping," Bobby mutters, but he knows when he's beaten. He keeps walking anyway just to make Chuck jog backwards for a little longer. "It's Morris and Hunt."

Chuck frowns, stumbles, and winces. Serves him right. "What's wrong with Morris? I like sitting behind him. He's steady, never crabs. And Jim likes Hunt, too."

Bobby doesn't want to have this conversation. He never wants to have any conversation about his interpersonal skills or lack thereof, but Chuck and Jim are his friends and they're trying to act like it, too. He can only keep pushing them away for so long before they stop. He sighs, making an about-face towards the water and starting to walk again. If he has to talk feelings, at least he can do it with something to look at besides Chuck or Jim.

"They're fine in the boat. They row well and they listen to what I say. But out of the boat... I don't know. There's something off, like they don't trust me or they don't like me. And I know I'm not exactly a likeable guy -"

"Shut your trap, Moch. Don't fish for compliments," Chuck says cheerfully. He winces a little with each step; he must have tweaked his ankle.

Jim is slightly more understanding, but that might just be because he's not dealing with a minor ankle injury. "Have you considered that maybe, possibly, they're still a little sore about you calling them Al's babies all last season?"

"That's - well - that's true, I guess," Bobby says. It feels like pulling a staple out of his thumb to admit it, but Jim has a point. He keeps walking anyway. "But I'm nice to them now. Outside of the boat."

"Right, because you've never held a grudge in your life."

That's true too, and ordinarily Bobby wouldn't be ashamed to admit that he can nurse a grudge with the best of them, but in this moment he's frustrated and a little bit hurt - both by Roger and Shorty's obvious distance from him and by his friends' ability to brush it off so easily as being all Bobby's fault.

He stomps down the grassy embankment towards the cut and doesn't check to see if they're still following. Maybe it is his fault; people often find his abrasiveness in and out of a shell off-putting. But that's just who he is. Roger and Shorty will just have to deal with it.

"Well there's nothing I can do about it," he says, once scuffing footsteps in the grass behind him have confirmed that he does still have a captive audience for his fit of pique. "I can't go up to them and apologize; it was just smack talk. If they're still mad then that's their issue to fix."

Suddenly there is a hand gripping his bicep to spin him around, knocking him off balance. He sets his jaw as he finds his footing again and glares even further up than usual at Chuck Day.

"Robert Gaston Moch. You can use your grown-up words and tell them hey, all's fair in love and crewing, no hard feelings. It's that easy." Chuck heaves a sigh and releases Bobby's arm, smoothing out the wrinkles left in his sleeve. "They'll like you just fine once you've cleared the air."

It's petty and childish to keep arguing back, but Bobby is petty and childish, and he's so damn frustrated that he can't just feel good about a successful practice, or at the very least sulk about it peacefully in his room.

"It's just that people don't like me, usually, and I'm an asshole most of the time and -" he says, ignoring how his voice has gone tighter with suppressed emotion. Then, even more suddenly, he is hoisted into the air.

Jim, now holding him bridal-style, shakes him gently, like a cat taunting a captive mouse. "Okay, into the lake with you."

"What -"

Before Bobby can question or protest, he's in the water. It's cold - colder even than it usually is for March, and for a second the shock of it leaves him unable to tread water. He recovers quickly enough to glare at Jim without betraying his momentary loss of control and paddles slowly to the bank, gritting his teeth against the icy pins and needles pricking his bare arms.

Jim grins, raising his voice just loud enough to be heard. "Are you ready to take it back?"

Bobby is even less ready now.

"You bastard," he pants as he clambers up onto the grass. "And people call me unpleasant to be around -"

"Haven't learned your lesson yet, I see," Jim says, deceptively pleasant, as he pins Bobby's arms to his sides and hefts him into the air again. Bobby tries to kick out and escape, but Chuck is immediately there to restrain his legs as well.

Voices behind them briefly postpone his soggy fate.

"Are we throwing Moch in the water now? Did we win something?" Roger Morris slopes into view, seemingly unfazed  by Bobby's torment. Then his dark brows come down in concern and displeasure. "Shit, he's shivering. Are you guys hazing him? Weren't you on varsity together?"

Bobby feels his face burning with embarrassment and anger despite the shivers. Of all the people to come to his defense, to see him when he looks this pathetic at the hands of his so-called friends - of course it's one of the two guys who currently like him least.

"I'm fine. I don't need anyone babying me," he says. He realizes his unfortunate wording immediately, but it's too late.

Roger grins. "That's odd; I thought we were the babies."

Bobby grits his teeth and looks away. He won't snap back. If Chuck and Jim are right, he'd only be making things worse. He can be the bigger person, even if his jaw hurts with how much he's holding back. It's not fair -

"Don't look so hang-dog, Moch, we know it was all just talk," Roger says, with an audible roll of the eyes. "We were just letting you stew in it for a bit before we forgave you all the way. You're too good of a cox to stay mad at forever."

"And Rantz?"

It's still spoken through gritted teeth; Bobby can't forgive that easily either. But he feels a little less cold anyway.

Roger shrugs. "Joe will forgive anyone anything, poor man. You can ask him yourself. Anyway, we're middle children now, just like McMillin and Day. We're all grown up and mature; holding grudges is beneath us."

Jim turns a laugh into a cough.

"Oh, I like him," Chuck says, delighted. "Morris, I think you and I are going to be great friends."

He gently lowers Bobby's legs until Bobby's feet can find purchase on the ground again, and once Bobby is steady Jim, too, lets go with an encouraging back-pat.

"That's good to hear, because you've lost me as a friend after today," Bobby says sullenly.

Chuck pouts. "Aw, no, Bobby, I like you too. You're a likeable guy; isn't he, Roger?"

"We'll see," Roger says, but his faint smile goes at least a little way to soothing Bobby's wounded pride.

[skippygiraffee]

Now I wanna hear more of your thoughts about Raihan and Leon and their insecurities wrt each other, and how they might solve them please.

absolutely, thank you for asking <3!! as per usual with me, I'm unsure how long this will be, so I'll put my thoughts under a read more for the sake of people's dashes/the tag. BUT I do think about these two a lot, especially this side of them, so I have a lot of thoughts floating around in the mind palace that I will try and materialize >:3c

I have a hard time picking a place to start with these two because the aforementioned mind palace is more like brain soup, and I'm trying to pick out the tasty bits from the broth with this one (meaning I think about it a lot, a lot) and it's hard to put pen to paper so to speak. but essentially, I doubt either of them started their careers with high self esteem to start with, and then I have in my own personal headcanon that Rose specifically pitted them against each other for the sake of numbers and marketing. it would be good for his bottom line, and Leon's brand as a champion, if he had a really strong and flashy rival, and Raihan was right there begging for the spotlight for various reasons.

when it comes down to each other specifically, however, here's a breakdown of some of those insecurities:

Leon is infinitely jealous of Raihan's freedom and that he has control over anything in his life

Raihan resents the effortless way in which maintains his popularity

Leon's body issues manifest in being spiteful towards Raihan's assumed ease with posting on social media

Raihan feels like Leon never has time for anything or anyone outside of Rose's elite circle of people

both think the other has social skills that they themselves seem to lack (for Leon it's interpersonal relationships and close friendships and for Raihan it's the way Leon is seemingly comfortable around and with powerful people), and they feel equally small when the other is in those settings

there's a lot of unresolved anger and tension from the years and years of being sold as rivals that has done immense damage to their relationship, and neither thinks they can overcome it

Raihan in convinced that Leon will always be, forever and always, out of reach in every possible way

Leon thinks he'll never be good enough for Raihan unless he remains at the top, the best, the undefeated Champion

to break some of them down a little more, Leon just doesn't have time for anything or anyone that isn't Rose or the League once he's Champion, and of course to anyone he's close with that's going to sting. and I think Raihan has a habit of questioning his place in people's lives, to the point that any shift in energy or attention can feel like the end of the world. so for Leon to just be busy with shit out of his control would definitely fester and build inside him, to the point where I think a lot of that boisterous energy on the field in battle is Raihan trying to let out that building anger towards Leon, when he logically knows it's not Leon's fault. however, logic and emotion don't always meet at the same junction, so Raihan and Leon have definitely had fights that spilled over into their shared friendgroup over how Leon will just ghost everyone for months on end.

I also think both want what the other has, in that childish way that kids always want what their friend is eating, but also in the very adult way of wishing their lives had turned out differently. Leon so desperately wishes that he wasn't caged up in Wyndon, forced to perform, forced to be Rose's left hand (because Oleana is his right, and Leon isn't even good enough to be there). he loves battling, loves his Pokemon, loves everything about what he does except being Champion. so he wants to be Raihan.

and Raihan is sick and tired of always being one step from the top, constantly reminded that he isn't good enough to be Champion. so painfully aware of the sacrifices that come with it, but he'd be fine with it for a taste of the adoration that Leon has. he wants to feel what it's like to wear the crown, be loved and cheered for, rather than hearing someone else's name being yelled from the stands the moment he enters the field anywhere but Hammerlocke. he wants to be Leon so bad it hurts, makes him privately bitter, and publicly aloof to avoid dealing with it.

Raihan has spent so long looking up, and Leon has spent so long feeling trapped I truly think it's a genuine shock to the system when the whole thing just stops. Leon wakes up in the morning Champion, and goes to bed dethroned. and it wasn't even Raihan who took his crown.

dealing with that is a whole other beast, you know? because they defined a good chunk of their relationship on the rivalry dynamic. do they scrap it, do they keep it, what do they do with that? how do they look at and deal with all the emotions being thrown right on the floor after Leon is defeated, because Leon is also dealing with the after effects of the whole Darkest Day event, which is at best just a natural disaster narrowly avoided, and at worst an extreme upheaval in the lives of so many people thanks to Rose being in prison and his company being left without leadership and Leon being left with lifelong ailments thanks to it.

honestly, once Leon is ready for the conversation, I think a lot of anger on both their parts comes out first. tears, yelling, the works. where they just start listing off all the built up anger and resentment from the years. it's not healthy, by any means, but they aren't sure how else to really lay it all out. and once it's out there they have to figure out how to deal with it, like unpacking an old closet and finding long forgetting items, and figuring out whether to toss or keep them. for Leon, he's just sorry, because he wishes he had been better for Raihan, for everyone, and he carries all the guilt in the world for the past decade or so of being Champion. he let everything fall to wayside, and now he has to figure both himself out and how he fits back into people's lives. for Raihan, he has to really really confront where his anger is coming from, and he hates that it's been staring at him in the mirror for a long time, being displaced onto Leon.

the legitimate things wrong with their relationship, like the foundation it was built on and how they talk to each other and treat each other, they work it out by slowly rebuilding everything. not from the ground up, because they can't erase what happened, and don't want to, but their rivalry is different. they battle together, but they'll be damned if the other outdoes them in making curry (Leon can't, but that's because both Hop and Raihan aren't sure what the fuck is up with his tastebuds). a lot of it is just them mellowing out, getting calmer about things, and doing their passions in different ways.

I dunno, I just like thinking of them as middle aged guys who still think their older mons can still duke it out like they're spry, and of course will for them, but Leon and Raihan laughing and having fun. and the local kids are wondering how these two were once these fierce rivals that their parents still talk about, when they're just sitting back and having a relaxed match. where the baggage of the past still comes up every now and then, but they get to sit down, have the time to talk about it, and come back better. I think more than anything they work it out with time and openness, honesty and compassion, more than anything. and it's what they deserve really.

[landinrris]

okay so I read the whole lengthy essay you wrote about that girl in your latest ask and I totally agree with you but in a different way.. me personally am the type of person that doesn't even care who their sibling is dating let alone care about Lando fucking Norris and I just don't understand why more people can't be that way, like why careee? also like these are billionaire men in their mid 20's and early 30's that we are talking about here, that basically travel(in a way) for a living, if it wasn't that girl then too Lando would've been seeing someone, its just that we would not know... so how does that make it any different now just because its all over the internet... like mate this was happening all while you were unaware and its happening now as well... also I am someone who doesn't follow anyone other than the drivers I follow, like no family or rumoured girlfriend or closest friend or anyone related to their personal life at all... and when I tell you I know so many obsessed 'fans' that literally follow the driver's complete bloodline, and if that's not creepy than I don't know what is.... that's it for my rant I guess, thank you for coming to my ted talks... also I just saw the t-shirt pic you uploaded and you're literally sooo pretty

Yeah, I get that. I think only paying attention to the drivers' professional lives is totally normal. For the most part, I don't follow any of the family members of any driver. I definitely think there's a line between following the drivers and some of the people they involve in their lives and following someone who doesn't interact with them in an extra-curricular sense. Like for example, following Lando and some of his friends because they all regularly hang out and share/make content doesn't feel like a particularly weird boundary, especially considering their profiles are public. I simply like seeing Lando smiling and having fun. Trying to request to follow private accounts because those people are in proximity is where is gets weird for me.

But yes, the fact that anyone cares to the point where it makes them upset... should probably log off and go talk to real people outside of the internet. Lando's said before if he wanted to hide something he could. People truly have no idea what goes on in their interpersonal lives or what the true nature of their relationships are to any of these people. They're literally humans like every other person on here that has real human emotions and motivations, not tv characters.

Also also thank youuu I appreciate it 🫶

[uriekukistan]

how do you … hhow do yiu start writjng. like how do you. opening paragraph…. how do you begin..

sksjdj sorry this took so long, i genuinely rewrote my answer 3-4 times 💀 took me a few hours to figure out how i wanted to answer this tbh bc usually i don't even know what im doing either

also im by no means a perfect writer, i’m still working to improve with every fic, so pls take this w a grain of salt, everyone writes their own way as well…hopefully this isnt too long or annoying or preachy or anything.

i always have an outline of my fic ready before i start writing, regardless of if it's super vague or highly detailed, i also try to think about what the character(s) want from the situation(s) and potential ways that could create conflict (not in an angsty way per se but in a plot moving way). knowing this is super helpful for deciding where to start because different types of openings are good for different stories.

ideas i use a lot!

-> character intro! this is my most commonly used way to start a new story. i like to make sure my MC is in the first sentence so the reader knows who the story is going to focus on. this does have a potential to go wrong, bc essentially, there's the good way and then there's my immortal 💀

when i say to use a character intro, i mean like their mindset/beliefs as they pertain to the plot, main conflict they're facing, or how they're feeling at that moment, rather than "basic info"

ex: megumi fushiguro is 15, has black hair and green eyes, and he's a jujutsu sorcerer and is in his first year at jujutsu tech. in his free time, he reads. he loves animals. he was abandoned by his parents at a young age, so he's wary of others <- boring, bland, sparks 0 interest

VS: Megumi was never a fan of love. Not in books, not in TV shows, not in movies, and certainly not in real life. He hadn’t so much as considered having romantic feelings for someone in fifteen years of living, and he wasn’t about to start now. Definitely not now. Not after what had happened. <- interesting, gives insight into how megumi thinks (and how strongly), sparks interest bc what happened??

hsiao doesn't want to date a coworker because she has a dangerous job, but has a crush on saiko. urie can't express his feelings because he's spent ages bottling them up, and now he needs to grieve someone he didn't realize he cared for until it's too late. establishing these things is really important, and should be done eventually either way.

i think this method works best for stories focusing on a conflict that's more internal because it sets up the characters psyche, but can still be used for external conflict effectively!

-> dialogue: another one that can be tricky, and gets a bad wrap sometimes, but it can very much be used well. it's good to use if the story is focusing on interpersonal conflict, especially if it involves a lot of arguing. usually, i throw the reader into a high tension, fast moving scene with dialogue, sometimes one with a confrontational start, sometimes in the middle of an already brewing interaction.

-> strong feelings: this works best with negative feelings, so i use it mostly for reeeeaaaallly angsty fics. physical pain, extreme sadness or guilt, grief, rage, or high stress work really well for this, because they're feelings that tend to consume everything else. you gotta be ready to dedicate a few paragraphs to really good descriptions that make readers feel. it's a bit intimidating to write and has the potential to overwhelm readers as well, so i tend to reserve it for fics that i intend to be really heavy and upsetting, no happy ending/comfort type fics

-> straight into action: gonna be honest, i try to avoid this one as much as possible unless it's in a multi-chapter fic where the characters/conflict have been firmly established. used outside of this, i think it works best with actions that are literal beginnings, or it feels like part of the story is missing. things like waking up, opening a door (staring at a blank page trying to write..........)

lil tips ig

★ shorter sentences: my usual writing style has a lot of lengthy sentences, but when it's the first thing a reader sees, it slows down the pace immediately. of course, there's a place for long sentences as well, but the average reader is going to go for something that grabs their attention quickly.

★ u don't have to start from the beginning!! honestly i get this from writing academic essays, but sometimes it's easier to write the beginning after you wrote the rest because even if u think u know where ur going, it can change as u write it. tbh once i wrote fic almost entirely backwards 💀

slfkjgnkjnsfglk i hope this was at least somewhat helpful, honestly i wasn't sure what to say, but i'm really excited to see ur fic!!! ik u have a lot of things planned, so i'm sure once you get the first words out there, the rest will start flowing !!!

[likesomekindofcheese]

Hey! Just recently finished The Great and frankly I’m also upset about Grigor’s relationship between Georgina and Marial, of which I haven’t liked her character since the beginning of the show and can’t seem to fathom why he loves her. Anyways, I can’t seem to find the post where you explain why you don’t like it, and if you haven’t written/posted it, I’d love to see why!

*cracks knuckles*

Hi there! I don't think I made a whole official post about why I don't like it outside of jokes. So let me explain why here. To get one thing over with, it was a personal thing. Gwilym Lee was my celebrity number one husband-boyfriend crush for ages. I began watching The Great for him. And of course I wrote lots of Grigor x reader fics to channel my imagination and lust. So when he became a cheater in season 2, out of nowhere, without any warning...it was a shock. I tried to think through it, justify it, but it never did. It felt like even in my fantasies, I wasn't safe. I wasn't good enough. The minute I slipped up in a romantic relationship, I would be cheated on as punishment. I had panic attacks and couldn't sleep and cried for days. I couldn't even look at the show or images or of Grigor for without crying. It was as if...I was the one cheated on. I literally had to get therapy because it bothered me so much.

Okay, now that this is done, here is my personal take of why Grigor/Marial is bad as a pairing. Also, this is just me being biased and my personal take, so if you ship the pairing...eh, good for you, all the more power to ya. This post isn't for you.

Let's move onto the foundation. I've discussed it a lot with the Queen and legend @ladystrallan but here it is for all y'all. The Big reasons why. Starting with the most important one.

Reason #1) Marial does not actually give a shit about Grigor's well-being and happiness.

Often in fanfics, when Grigor cheats on George, it's because he is sad about George and the OC or Reader or whoever is worried about him. They want him to be happy, wanted, loved, and valued, and chosen. Marial does none of those things. It's never about "how can I help this poor little meow meow feel better?" It's about "what can he do for me" like she's the damn rat from Charlotte's Web.

Reason #2) Marial does not respect Grigor

If Marial did respect Grigor, she would listen to what he says. She would not blab to Catherine about Peter having sex with and accidentally killing her mother. In season 3, when Peter dies- Grigor is sobbing and in a grieving state for his best friend. Marial on the other hand is celebrating his death like the munchkins celebrating a house dropping on the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz. Let's put it this way- if someone who you loved, someone you were very close to dropped dead out of nowhere, would you want to date someone who celebrated the death as good thing? No. If she did respect him, she would support him in his grief. She would keep her trap shut. Even if she personally didn't like Peter...she would still be there for Grigor's struggle of losing his friend. At the end of the day...Marial will betray her bestie to become a lady again. She is only on her own side and no one else's. She gets some Pet The Dog moments with the serfs...but not with anyone else she has interpersonal connections with at court.

Reason #3) The Affair is selfish.

Marial does none of these things. She starts the affair not because she is worried about his well-being, or happiness, or respect or selflessly genuinely loves him...she starts it because 1) he was a former fling, 2) she is rich again and she can, and 3) to spite Georgiana. Grigor kind of wants to feel happy and alive again- but it's bc George is away from him!

I understand that fiction is not reality. We can use fiction to discuss taboo things. Or even admit that we fantasize about things we know are ethically wrong. It says nothing about us. Just because we fantasize it or like it in fiction doesn't mean we like it in real life. But...

Reason #4) The Writers paint Georgiana's affair as bad and Grigor's affair as good.

We have all of season one to see how much it hurts Grigor to see his wife be Peter's mistress. And I'm not going to pretend it is entirely good. But Georgiana does get a few lines in season 1 after the poisoning that she kind of...HAS to be Peter's mistress. That their high social standing and wealth comes from their close friendship with Peter that in no ways should be tampered with. And this includes the complete lack of boundaries with Georgiana, because he is the absolute ruler emperor. Like that line in Six The Musical- If Peter says it's you, it's you. As far as I know, Peter and Georgiana is consensual other than the implied power balance and she's lucky she likes Peter and he's a good lover. In fact, back in the day, men WOULD offer their wives as missteress to the king because you could get a huge castle and lots of lands and money from it! That's what Mary Boleyn's husband thought when Henry VIII made her his mistress. You don't technically have a choice- might as well make the most out of it.

Yet the writer(s) paint Georgiana as bad and frame Marial as good, as something that Grigor needs to heal (it ain't), that she is his true love (blech) all without taking a big look in the mirror. They don't know how to handle a complex woman as Georgiana but they think framing Marial as a girlboss makes it better (yuck).

On a related note...imagine if we switched the genders? If Grigor was Georgette and Marial was Mark, we have Georgette being lonely and swept up in her exes charms. Giving everything to Mark, even when he crosses her personal boundaries. Despite this, she keeps running back to him, swearing she'll marry him even though he hates her recently dead bestie and doesn't comfort or support her mourning.

If that was the case, there would be riots! People would be all "omg you deserve better! My poor baby! Dump his ass, queen!" But...no. Since we have Miss GirlBoss (tm) Marial, this toxicity is apparently okay.

Reason #5) Grigor's love and loyalty to his wife was part of what made his character so endearing in the first place.

It's like if Peter said "fudge" instead of "fuck," but we all fell in love with Count Dymov because he loved his wife so much. That is why there are so many Grigor fics out there. Becuase the depth of love he has not only for Peter...but for Georgiana. It's not the issue that his honor as a man is insulted to have his wife sleep around...it's because he is genuinely heartbroken and sad about it. That he loves her that much. And that he loves Peter that much too. He's crying when he tries to put a pillow over Peter's face to suffocate him. In fact, Georgiana does care about his well being despite the whole mistress stuff. When he gets scruff out of rebellion, she knocks him out and tenderly gives him a shave. They tease and flirt with each other. She sits on his lap. Who wouldn't want a relationship where you are that wanted, adored, and unconditionally loved? In fact, their only conflict was Peter. If it wasn't for Peter, they would have an idyllic, wonderful marriage. Look up The Great on TV Tropes- they are listed as "Happily Married."

So him having an affair on Georgiana, to where he is given an option to KILL GEORGIANA and abandon her for Marial felt egregiously out of character.

This is not why i signed up. I wanted him and Georgiana to heal and grow and triumph in their love, especially as the series went on and Peter focused more on his romantic relationship with Catherine to where that WAS the show.

So yeah...those are my two cents.

[lyinginthesnow]

i don't know if you still think about Bad Succession but i have a proposal: instead of shiv actually cheating on tom with nate, nate is actually shiv's Sexist Jerk Ex Boyfriend that she hates and is only working with out of convenience that flirts with her but she never reciprocates. but then one day tom sees nate make a move on shiv and immediately assumes that she's cheating on him, but then he doesn't get to see shiv shove him away afterwards and berate him. there's an entire arc in season 1 all about this miscommunication where tom breaks the engagement off because of what he saw and shiv is heartbroken but is determined to have tom realize it was all a misunderstanding and get him back. shiv stands outside of their apartment (that tom kicked her out of) holding up a radio playing Their Song (you can decide what it is) and tom peeks out of the window. he starts tearing up a little and there's a flashback to the night they met and that song was playing but once it fades out he shakes his head and goes "i'm sorry shiv... but we're over." before shutting the window. then one episode while at a business party nate sees shiv again. he's all like "well well well, i hear things didn't work between you and mr. minnesota. maybe it's time you give old natey a chance, eh shiv?" but then shiv is like "yeah well tom and i are going to get back together. we're just... in a rough spot right now." and nate's like "oh come on. what could you possibly see in him? you should just forget about boring tom and get with an exciting guy like me." then there's a pause and shiv is like. "okay. you really wanna know what i see in tom, nate? i see the love of my life. my biggest supoorter. i know that if i get into trouble, he'll be there to have my back. that's a lot more than i can say for an entitled douchebag like you, who's so blinded by his privilege and toxic masculinity that he can't think of anyone other than himself. yeah, tom's not from the big city, and he doesn't have the biggest house or car, but you know what? that's because he worked for what he got instead of having it handed to him, and if you think that makes him boring, then so be it. i'm more than proud to have him as my partner. and... as my future husband!" then she splashes the wine she's holding in his face before walking away and there's a shot of nate looking all shocked. she goes to sulk outside when tom comes out to sit next to her. he's like "hey... so... i saw what you said to nate. did you really mean all that?" and shiv is like "tom... of course i did." and tom's like "i thought... at the party before, that you were cheating on me with him." and shiv is like "WHAT? god, tom, no! i would never cheat on you." and tom's like "well.. now i feel so guilty. i'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, shiv." and shiv's like "and i'm sorry that i never told you about what nate was like before, tom. let's agree never to let a misunderstanding like this get in between us again!" then they kiss and the engagement is back on and they get married.

oh absolutely. and thank u for such a complete and elaborate proposal :) im obsessed w tom leaving before he can see her shoving nate away. that’s the kind of misunderstanding that would be aggravatingly dragged out over a season for sure. and it’s sad to lose the dinner party where she and roman make fun of tom’s suits, but you’re right, Bad Succession shiv would have to work up the courage to defend tom against the elitism of her peers.

i had some vague thoughts about Bad Succession tomshiv, which your ideas align with, in terms of tom and shiv being more bland and conventionally sympathetic, and this being accomplished by focusing on external interpersonal factors sabotaging the relationship, removing blame from tom and shiv themselves. the issues would be Misogyny (in the most direct, non-systemic way possible) and Her Evil Dad. the struggles within shiv regarding the harm she causes tom to maintain a feeling of safety within the relationship would get phased out pretty quick. I’m thinking when tom proposes, she’s hesitant. She says “I think you should know, before you get too close… I’m Damaged”. but over the course of their marriage she lets down her armour and learns to Love In A Healthy Way. as for their career ambitions, they would eventually learn that Love is the most important thing. tom would have an emotional moment where he says “i love you, not your money, you” (bc in this alternate universe that’s 100% unquestionably true, deep down beneath the seductions of wealth and power he’s just a boy from saint paul who fell in love with the most beautiful girl in the world) and at the end they’d run off together to a trailer park

also Their Song would be Uptown Girl. sorry to steal that from kendall’s kidnapping fantasy vehicular manslaughter extravaganza but Bad Succession would have used it here first

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

Charles Kinbote Propaganda:

World’s least reliable poetry critic. Weirdly obsessed with this poet John Shade and then publishes a commentary on his final work and wildly misinterprets lines to make it seem like him and Shade were bffs.

Ok so basically this poet John Shade just died. Before he died he (nearly, by one line) finished this big poem about death and his life. Kinbote considers himself Shade's good friend (he's not- Shade describes Kinbote as "some neighbour" in the poem at one point) and decides to posthumously publish the poem with his annotations to explain it since Shade is dead and can't explain it. It's pretty clear from the start start that Kinbote is completely bullshitting however he also claims some pretty crazy stuff. He believes the whole poem is about this country called Zembla, which Kinbote apparantly told Shade a lot about before he died. Zembla isn't real. Kinbote uses the annotations as an excuse to infodump about Zemblan lore. He believes he is the king of Zembla and is pretty clearly delusional (although possibly aware of that? at the end he says that after writing the annotations he might end up in a madhouse). Also Kinbote might just be someone Shade made up after faking his own death to make a big statement. It's a little unclear. Sorry if this made no sense lol.

Nana Daiba Propaganda:

Okay, I have heard literally nobody else say she is an unreliable narrator and I'm not sure myself, but I need to get something out of watching that recap movie so hear me out. Rondo Rondo Rondo, as well as a recap, is Nana's perspective on the series as a whole, and I'm very convinced that the way it's told isn't just because they needed things to be shorter. A lot more emphasis is given to some scenes than others, and when this happens, a brand new scene plays out, putting equal emphasis on it, and all of these brand new scenes have one thing in common, beyond the revue component; Nana knows. She knows every detail shown, but doesn't acknowledge details which aren't, which makes sense for a recap movie, but the way she interacts with the plot is so distinctly different from the anime itself that I like to think she's leaving things out. We don't get a significant amount of the buildup to the revues, because most of that is interpersonal stuff which Nana simply was not involved in. But we do get a massive chunk of episode 7, the episode which, outside of the recap, is still from Nana's pov. Junna and Mahiru's respective revues with Karen and Futaba and Kaoruko's revue with each other are shown very briefly and divided up into sections which Nana is shown acting out with the Giraffe immediately after, but large amounts of emphasis are put on Nana's two revues, even if they're both kind of mixed together (which I think makes sense. Hikari and Karen were the two girls who brought about the end of her repeat performances, and she wouldn't have lost if Hikari hadn't arrived and Karen hadn't gotten the drive to stand on stage from her. Of course she'd kind of mix those two losses together. Though rip to the scenes in between because even though it makes sense that a lot of the stuff there would not matter to a recap movie or Nana I still think it's funny that Nana's whole big conversation with Junna where she reveals the time loops just does not exist to Nana or the movie. So sorry Junna). Certain small, emotional scenes ARE shown, like Junna and Nana's talk at the end of ep 9, but considering that Nana was involved in that and the immediate next scene is a new one where Nana discusses how Junna essentially saved her, yeah, that specific scene would be in her head. There's a lot of things which Nana wouldn't know, but since this movie is confirmed to be Nana's pov I do think that it could be both where the recap angle kind of takes over and Nana's general perception of Karen and Hikari's whole childhood friend thing. Also, since everything following this is very much recap-centric, aside from the additional scenes, which are 100% shown to be from Nana's pov, I need to address the scenes following the revues again, just because I think it's funny that, within Nana's pov, she gets to act out the previous revues in an even more unreliable way. I love this girl and I'm not sure how much Rondo Rondo Rondo counts as her being unreliable but I love her for whatever she had going on in this movie anyways.

[halliescomut]

Faux Incest in BLs

So the title is quite clickbait-y, but I couldn't resist. I just wanted to kind of talk about it because I started rewatching Cherry Blossom After Winter again, and this is a major part of that story. Faux Incest is actually a surprisingly common trope in BLs and I see a lot of criticism in relation to it. For me specifically, I think it comes down to the portrayal and context.

I will say I specifically despise the accusation of incest, when the story makes it clear there's no blood relation happening. But in fairness I also dislike when the twist is they weren't actually blood related, but thought they were when they started their romantic relationship.

Now I haven't seen every BL (sadly) and I can really only speak about ones I have, but if you have encountered this trope outside of these shows, then please tell me, so I can add to my thesis. I know that faux incest is a common trope everywhere kind of. It's very 'shocking' and 'forbidden' to do step sibling or adopted sibling romance storylines, and you see them in straight media all the time too. Classic #1 example: Clueless. But back to BLs. Specifically the ones that come to mind are Cherry Blossoms After Winter (which is what started this), KinnPorsche, HIStory 4: Close to You, and TharnType.

I'm going to start with portrayal and when I hit a bit of an ick wall with Xing Se and Yong Jie. In HIStory 4: CTY, you have Xing Se and Yong Je, who are step brothers who were raised together as brothers, and there's a sizable age difference for the characters. I would have to speedrun the series to give you exact numbers, but I think it's somewhere around 8-9 years. They seem to have been a family since Yong Jie was fairly young, I think probably 7-9. Yong Je's feelings for his older stepbrother seem to begin when he's around 12 or 13 I think, and are related to Xing Se being a pretty kind and attentive older sibling. We don't get a lot of information on their relationship once Xing Se moves out of his parents home, but it seems implied that he's not a frequent visitor, but also doesn't avoid seeing his family. There's indication that while Xing Se is 'out' in general, he is not out to his family, and the stress of frequent interaction is what keeps his visits brief and more sporadic. Yong Jie becomes fairly obsessed with Xing Se, and there's all kinds of reasons you can read into why. The obvious are that Xing Se is very confident and personable, while Yong Jie seems to struggle with interpersonal communication. (I find Yong Jie to be pretty strongly autistic-coded, which I hate because it is very negative representation). Xing Se being out, even if not to their parents and that implied freedom is another basis for adoration. In addition to social confidence, Xing Se is someone presented as having excelled academically, which Yong Jie, while not unintelligent, seems to struggle with. In general it's all of the basic idolization of older sibling ideas, but with the addition of Yong Jie recognizing a sexual attraction as well, and that developing into something pretty obsessive. My ick wall is hit of course with the inciting incident of their relationship, which is Yong Jie purposefully getting Xing Se drunk and raping him, as well as recording it. Without that plot point, I don't know that there ever becomes a relationship, but to be honest, them having lived apart for several years, specifically formative years for Yong Jie, I don't know that I would have been particularly disturbed by Yong Jie as a 20 year old man confessing his feelings to Xing Se. And that's based off the fact that at best, Xing Se was recognizing and living with Yong Jie as a sibling for maybe a quarter of his life? Like, would it certainly be an adjustment for Xing Se? 100%, but it's possible, but not likely. As the story stands in how it's told, I feel like Xing Se accepts a romantic relationship with Yong Jie kinda because "well I already fucked him, so...*shrug*". Like they could have a good and interesting relationship and dynamic, but I think Xing Se's feelings of responsibility to his family and his reluctance to 'rock the boat' any more than it's already been rocked kind of take away a lot of the agency in his decision. VERY long story short, for these two--It's a no for me, but it's more because of the sexual assault and coercion than anything else.

KinnPorsche is gonna have the shortest paragraph...because these two dudes weren't biologically related in any way, and didn't meet each other until they were adults. They weren't overcoming familial feelings. People just seem to like to throw the incest label at them because. Even with the adoption of Nampheung into the Theerapanyakul family, we don't know if that's legal or emotional, because the reality is we can trust Korn as far as Chay could throw him. And since Nampheung completely removed herself from the family as an adult, there's really only the familial connection in Korn's head, which is more related to his desire to control the pawns in his little chess game than actual human affection. Bottomline: KinnPorsche barely counts in the category and while they, like many others struggle with the concept of consent, I don't have an overall issue with their romantic relationship.

The couple I'm referencing from TharnType is Tum and Tar, and they are honestly barely a secondary couple, and you could almost categorize their characters as tertiary in the story. We do know that they become a couple in the MAME-verse, it's just not fully depicted in the TharnType series. Since we have yet to see their full romance, some things may change, but based on the information we do have, this is a less problematic situation to me than Xing Se and Yong Jie, specifically because of their ages and living situation. They have about a two year age difference, and their parents get married when Tum is 18 and Tar is 16, and that's when they start living together as a family. That time together is pretty brief as Tar goes to study abroad and Tum goes to university, so the reality is they spend very little time living as siblings. Both develop feelings for the other, which they hide, which is another aspect that makes the situation a little less ick on my part. They're both old enough to know their own minds, and it's mutual, which I like a bit better than one character confessing and the other going 'yeah alright, why not?'. So, as the story stands now, barring any egregious consent issues, I'd have no issue with Tum and Tar.

Now we're gonna talk about Cherry Blossoms After Winter. You'd think I'd have a bit of an issue with Hae Bom and Tae Seong. While they are definitely not blood related, as Hae Bom was adopted by Tae Seong's mother when he was about 7, and he and Tae Seong are the same age. They've lived together for 9 or so years like siblings, except it doesn't seem like they developed any sort of familial affection for each other. When they're introduced, you learn that even though they were in the same grade, they never shared classes. They never hung out really. Like they were essentially roommates who shared a house, and occasionally saw each other in the kitchen. That's the vibe you get from their relationship. I'd say the closest thing we have to sibling behavior is Tae Yeong beating up Hae Bom's bully, which does give very 'only I can terrorize my sibling' vibes, except Tae Yeong doesn't terrorize Hae Bom, he just ignores him. Now there is some resistance on Hae Bom's part over the transition from their previous relationship (however you would categorize it) to a romantic one. But that's not based on it being taboo because they're 'related' but based around the fear that Tae Yeong's mother would not approve (it's inferred that the issue is the gayness, not the perceived familial relationship), and the possibility of Hae Bom losing another maternal figure. In all honesty, if you change the set-up to them being neighbors, Hae Bom with only his father, and Tae Yeong with his mother, and Hae Bom becoming a frequent presence in Tae Yeong's house because his mother also becomes a maternal figure to Hae Bom...could practically have the same story without the faux incest.

As a final point, the 'taboo' state of incest at large is based around the fact that we know it causes negative reproductive repercussions. So, in the context of romantic relationships that can't result in naturally conceived offspring does it really matter if there's a familial relationship? Additionally, with faux incest when there's no blood relation, whether conceiving offspring is possible or not, is that equally as taboo? For me, to be entirely honest, the issues come around with the consideration of possibilities for abuse and assault. Do I technically care if two step siblings decide they have the hots for each other as adults and act on it? No. But the presence of assault, grooming behaviors, coercion, or abuse of power would certainly change my opinion, as it really should regardless of any other information.

Well, I guess I just wrote 1500 words about perceived incest. If you have thoughts let me know.

[moe-broey]

Actually.... thinking.... more about Alfred/Alfonse friendship........

Thinking about how maybe there's bumps in the road there too. They BOTH struggle w friendships. Almost in opposite ways though? Like Alfonse I've described it a million times he has Issues™ LMFAO (said w love and kindness), but Alfred. Having been sheltered and secluded, having little to no outside contact beyond his immediate family/retainers. He literally says Alear is his first friend. He takes it SO personally when Alear is just trying to set boundaries. And I guess w Alear, there's the additional emotional weight of, this IS someone he's known all his life, except, not truly. They are extremely significant to him, on top of it just being a very strange relationship to navigate due to their circumstances.

Still.... I don't really have a good measure on how this would translate to his relationships outside of Alear, and the weight of his relationship with them. I don't know if he would take it so hard if at any point when they were getting along, Alfonse suddenly pushes back for an unknowable reason. But also? Would the reason really Be Unknowable? Because like. It really is one of the first things anyone learns about Alfonse on an interpersonal level. Even when he acts like it's all business, that. Really doesn't fool anyone. And it certainly wouldn't fool Alfred, I don't think. Would knowing the reason why soften the blow?

I feel like Alfred Would have fun playing along though. Like. Light goofing about it. Which, on a good day, I think Alfonse would find some humor in it, even if he doesn't show it. A playful and dryly sarcastic back and forth. Maybe a bit of embarrassment, but no harm done. On a bad day, though, I think it could end very poorly. A bit of conflict.

ALSO. THEY BOTH. Come on SO strongly actually. Like. Alfred when he's Trying His Best and Alfonse when he finally DOES let anyone in. Like that's absolutely going to be a little disastrous. I think, if they can overcome it though, they'd be very ride or die for each other! I mean, they're both like that, in general. So devoted it fucks them over LMFAOOO

(Also worth mentioning, it's a bit harder for me to have a good read on Alfred's character at the moment, cause I think I have more supports unlocked on Céline than I do Alfred. Need to change this... need to get both of them actually..........)

[casspurrjoybell-19]

Does it Matter? - Chapter 22 - Part 1

*Warning: Adult Content*   

As soon as Dara was settled on the bed in Maric's room, Mathers began to get together medical supplies for Garrod to take to Brayan to treat the slave.

 "Get him some clean clothes, too," Maric told Garrod. 

"And a hot meal. This won't be resolved tonight, so we'll have to make sure he's taken care of in the meantime." 

"Are you sure Brayan's the right choice for that?" Garrod asked. 

"I like Brayan. He's a good Captain. Good at keeping people in line and on task. Not sure he really knows how to interact with people when he's not giving or taking orders, though." 

"I think that's the first time I've seen Brayan try to turn down a job you assigned him just because he lacked confidence in his own ability to perform it," Mathers added as he packed the medical supplies into a small bag. 

"It's certainly outside of his comfort zone." 

"You didn't see the way the slave looked at Brayan when you startled him?" Maric asked Mathers. 

"Brayan just saved his life. The slave trusts him. Maybe ideally that trust would be transferred to someone with better interpersonal skills but that's not possible. Of course if Brayan fails I will hand the task to someone else but I don't think he will. I have faith in him." 

"He'll be safe with him, if nothing else," Garrod commented. 

"Poor little thing. Don't know what inspired him to get himself in the middle of all this when his life is already as rough as it is." 

Maric sat down on the edge of the bed and forced himself to look at Dara again. 

In better lighting he only looked worse. 

The blood and Dara's hair concealed a lot but Maric was fairly sure his skull was not the shape it ought to have been. 

"Compassion, perhaps." 

"Amazing that someone can be that kind when nobody's been kind to them." 

Garrod took the bag of supplies Mathers handed him. 

"Thanks. I'll go get some clothes together and check in on Brayan." 

Maric nodded.

Now that he was looking at Dara again, he couldn't take his eyes away from him. 

"The slave's to stay with him but I want you to make sure anything else Brayan needs is taken care of." 

"Yes, sir," Garrod said. 

Once Garrod had left the room, shutting the door behind himself, only Maric, Mathers and Dara remained. 

Maric watched as one of Dara's fingers, which had been bent backwards at an unnatural angle, clicked back into the correct position. 

"He will be okay, won't he?" 

Mathers leant against the head of the bed and looked down at Dara. 

"I believe so. If it were anyone else I'd say no but judging by what he survived last time and what he's told me since about his abilities, I would be surprised if he didn't recover." 

Maric nodded. 

That was what he'd thought, too but he needed the reassurance.

"What I don't know is if there's anything we should be doing to help him," Mathers said.

"Should we try to get food or water into him? Should we try to set his broken bones? Are we better off just monitoring him while his body takes care of itself? I just don't know." 

"I'm scared to touch him," Maric admitted. 

"I don't want to hurt him even more." 

"Okay," Mathers said as he sat down on the edge of the bed a respectful distance away from Maric.

 "We won't touch him." 

"He keeps getting hurt when he's around me." 

"He got hurt before he was around you, too." 

"He should be safe with me. He deserves to be safe." 

Mathers was watching Maric carefully. 

"You care about him." 

"That hasn't changed." 

"I know. I had some idea but..." Mathers waved a hand as he searched for the words to express his thoughts. 

"He's a healer. The most logical concern is that this incident will further set back any chances he had of regaining control of his ability but that doesn't seem to be where your mind is going at all." 

"No, I suppose not." 

Maric was silent for a long moment. 

"If I'm honest with you about something, Mathers, can you keep it between the two of us?" 

"Of course, Maric." 

"I think I resent the fact that he's a healer. I wish he wasn't. Maybe he'll be useful to me one day and I'm certainly grateful he was able to save my life but I miss the way things used to be. I miss him." 

"You know, I've been thinking," Mathers said. 

"About the things you are and aren't supposed to do to a healer and about how long he was unable to use his ability and how, when you needed him, he was able to save you. Right after he almost died, too. On the surface, it doesn't make much sense. He shouldn't have had the stability he needed to do what he did." 

"How do you think he managed it?" 

"I think it was because he had you," Mathers said. 

"I think he knows it, too. After that night, he seems to have simply given up on his ability. He has no faith in himself but why? Nothing bad has happened since then. The only thing that has really changed is the relationship between the two of you." 

Maric shook his head. 

"Even if you're right, what would you have me do? I have feelings for him. I don't know if I can conduct myself appropriately if I let myself get close to him again." 

"I'm not so sure that's an issue. I was certainly taught it was but I can't say the evidence before my eyes is pointing in that direction." 

Maric watched Dara. 

His breathing didn't sound quite as laboured anymore. 

"Maybe not." 

"Can I make a suggestion?" 

"Hmm. Of course." 

"Ask him what he wants," Mathers said. 

"We can speculate all we like but he's the only one who really knows." 

Maric let out a quiet huff of laughter. 

"I'm not stupid, Mathers. I'm just cowardly. I've been afraid of what he might have to say about what part he wants me to play in his life. Or doesn't want me to, perhaps." 

"Is avoiding the conversation really preferable if you're already acting as thought the worst possible scenario had come to pass?”

 "Maybe I'm cowardly and stupid." 

Maric made a face at the quiet crackling sound coming from somewhere in Dara's body. 

"You're right. I'm not doing him or myself any favours by avoiding the situation. I'll talk to him when he wakes up."

[teruel-a-witch]

what if one day steve and danny stumble into what they think is a crime scene but actually turns out to be the production of a cop tv show and the more they find out about the show the more familiar all the details seem until they realise to their horror that someone is making a tv show about a fictionalised version of their team. of course it's highly sensationalised and inaccurate but has just enough details for it to feel creepy and make steve and danny suspect someone they know has fed the production some information. (jerry, it was definitely jerry)

turns out they can't shut it down because all personal information has been changed and there's not enough actual accuracy in the show to impact their procedure/operations since the viewers don't care about accuracy so much as entertainment and interpersonal relationships between characters.

they are, however, welcome to stay and watch the filming as long as they don't interfere. it's actually a bit amusing to watch their all too familiar banter from the outside, danny grins and pointedly looks at steve when his counterpart lectures his partner about recklessly risking his life and steve smirks when his calls danny's 'a nagging wife' which makes danny huff and glare adorably.

nothing could've prepared them to what they saw next, when their characters' usual heated argument suddenly turns into them making out against the wall in the interrogation room right in front of the 'suspect'.

their simultaneous 'what the hell?' startles everyone but the writer and director defend their choice 'just because it didn't happen like that with you guys doesn't mean we aren't allowed some creative license and our viewers respond well to passion. especially since two episodes ago captain o'malley finally confessed his undying love for his partner and sergeant walters reciprocated they are supposed to be unable to keep their hands off of each other. just like you were, i imagine, when you first succumbed to the obvious attraction between you two. all that flirting couldn't be for nothing.'

afterwards danny is quiet and steve angrily promises to have a word with jerry. when they confront him steve asks why, on top of everything, would jerry say that steve and danny are a couple? they are in for another shock when jerry says that he didn't. apparently the production team just assumed, based on all the details and behaviour, because it made more sense for their characters to be romantically involved rather than not.

steve is rattled because he feels exposed but the absence of danny's ranting is worrying so he overcomes his fear to ask what's wrong. danny surprises him with how small and resigned he sounds when he murmurs 'is the idea of being in love with me really so off-putting to you??'

steve realizes his reaction was misinterpreted and ended up hurting danny's feelings so now he has to risk admitting the truth even if it means making things awkward because he can't stand danny thinking he's not worthy of his or anyone else's love.

he never realised he was that obvious and being confronted with the opposite made him act defensively. 'i was bitter, and resentful, it felt like they were throwing what i could never have in my face. how unlikely is it to be hopelessly in love with your best friend and have him magically reciprocate? the chances are probably one in a billion'.

steve is afraid he made things awkward with his confession and tries to leave a speechless danny, until he is stopped with a hand on his wrist and a blinding smile. 'you big oaf, did it never occur to you that i am your one in a billion? now let's make our fictional selves jealous.'

once they are done making up for lost time they send jerry a gift basket.