#he doesn't express much emotion beyond an intense blank stare

[niksixx]

Close to Perfect

Requested: My idea 

Pairing: The Dirt!Nikki Sixx x Fem!Reader 

Description: Your baby’s father doesn’t show up to the birth of your son, so Nikki takes his place. 

A/N: As always, your support is incredible. Reblog, comment, add tags <3 

Y/B/N: Your baby’s name

*Picture is NOT mine. Found on google. Credit to the owner.* 

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In a room filled with three other people that are comforting you and doing all they can to make you feel safe, you’ve never felt more alone and afraid. Sweat slicks every crevice of your body as you try to focus on the nurses hooking you up to machines and not the bone crushing contractions you’ve been feeling for an hour.

Your due date wasn’t quite near, but your baby boy wanted to make his appearance to the world a bit earlier. Your water had broke suddenly in the kitchen as you were preparing dinner, almost dropping the butter knife as the liquid trickled down your thighs. In a panic, you called the only person you could think of in that moment: Your son’s father.

As he chose not to be in your son’s life, it shouldn’t have surprised you that he refused to bring you to the hospital either. Begging and pleading as the contractions grew more frequent and painful did nothing but cause him to hang up the phone.

The only other option at that time was to call a cab, tipping generously at the end as the cab driver had to deal with your moans and whimpers from the backseat. Luckily there was a nurse with a wheelchair waiting for you at the entrance to the hospital.

As the nurses finish adjusting the IV, you wiggle around in the bed to try and find a comfortable position. A growl erupts from your belly, and instead of being graced with substance, you’re presented with ice chips.

While the contractions were growing more painful, you still weren’t fully dilated enough to start pushing. You opted for the epidural, promising to yourself that your next pregnancy would be all natural.

After the nurses left to wait on other patients, the solemn reality hit you. You were about to become a first time mother, and you were going to have to do it alone.

Calling your child’s father was useless. He’d never show up. He didn’t care enough about the life he helped create, and you refused to believe that you even needed him there. You could do this just fine on your own.

And then the epidural had worn off and as you reached ten centimeters dilation, it was time to finally push. But as the nurses and obstetrician were helping you adjust for labor, your cell phone chimed next to you.

With a stretch, you clicked the speaker, hoping to make the phone call quick as you were only minutes away from your first push. “Hello?”

“Hey, Y/N. You know that Def Leppard cutoff shirt I always wear?”

The doctor gives you a quizzical look. “Uh, Miss--.”

“Yeah, I do,” Trying to mask the groan of pain, you bite down hard on your lip. The intensity of the contractions is only growing stronger now, and you’re not sure how long you can last. “Listen, Nikki, now isn’t really a good time.”

“Wait, don’t hang up! I just need to know if I left it at your house last week. I can’t find it anywhere and Mick swears he didn’t steal it.”

Again, the doctor shoots you a look, one more annoyed this time. “Ma’am, we really need to--.”

“Nikki, I’m literally in the hospital about to give birth. Can the shirt wait?”

There’s a sharp breath on the other end after a long pause. Aside from your baby’s father, Nikki was the first person who had known about your pregnancy. You’d grown up together, and even visited Nikki and his band a few times while they were busy touring the world and playing music for anyone that’d listen.  “Right now?”

You nod. “Right now.”

He hesitates before asking the question he already knows the answer to. “Is he there?”

“No, Nikki. My water broke earlier and I called him to ask if he could bring me to the hospital. He hung up and I called a cab. Unfortunately, your shirt isn’t my main priority right now,” You laugh in good nature. Part of you is hurt, though. How could anyone neglect their responsibilities as a parent? How could anyone, any man, deny their child?

Neither one of you signed up for this life. The baby’s father had made it his priority to remind you that your child was merely an accident, and therefore he owed no responsibility for a child he never wanted.

Nikki had been more than a friend throughout your pregnancy. Caring for others was in his nature, apparently, but when it came to you, it felt different. He took care of you in ways he didn’t need to. Helping you bathe. Picking up food to ease your cravings. Holding you as you cried in his arms. He had always gone above and beyond for you even when he didn’t need to.

“I can be there in fifteen minutes,” There’s commotion on the other end of the line, most likely Nikki panicking to find his shoes and keys. Fifteen minutes isn’t ideal, and your doctor is certainly in a mood now as he stares at you with a blank expression, eyebrows pulled together. Another contraction hits and you grip the sides of your thighs tightly. “Y/N, I’m on my way. Don’t have that baby without me.”

~~~

Nikki is by your side shortly after your first push. Seeing him wide eyed and a bit frazzled eases your pain, and you’re glad he’s there now. You didn’t realize how much you needed his support.

“I’m here, I’m here,” He kisses your forehead quickly, reaching one arm around the pillow to cradle your head, other hand clasped tightly in yours. “Let’s have a baby, okay?”

You nod and focus on the doctor as he commands you to push. Unfortunately for the epidural wearing off, you feel every shred of pain. Sucking in a breath you push again and again, sweat beading your body as every ounce of energy is slowly being drained from your body.

“Baby’s crowning.”

Nikki gazes back at you, his look one of pure adoration. “You’re doing so good. Only a few more pushes okay? You can do this.”

His words make it feel possible. Your lips are dry so you lick them once before adjusting your grip on Nikki’s hand. “I can do this.”

“Ready, Y/N? And one...two...three…”

An ear splitting cry erupts throughout the room, and the weight is lifted off your shoulders as your squirming baby boy is placed on your chest. The blood and gunk on his tiny body isn’t even worth cringing over as you hold him against you. Tears course down your cheeks and drip off your chin, but Nikki is there beside you wiping them away, all the while completely mesmerized by your strength.

As much as you don’t want to let him go, you hand off your son to the nurses for a quick bath. Head against the pillow, your body is overcome with extreme fatigue. A hand comes up to your forehead, pushing the hair off your sweaty skin.

“I did it,” Pride swells in your chest. The morning sickness, the constant cravings, the heartburn, the back pain, everything was worth it. “I did it.”

And even pride swirls in Nikki’s heart. The road to your son’s birth hadn’t been smooth sailing. There were many bumps in the road, and Nikki knew more than anyone how much you had doubted yourself, your abilities to raise a child alone. But if anyone could overcome the adversity life threw at them, it was you. And you’d do it with passion and grace. “I’m so proud of you.”

~~~

Wrapped tightly in a white blanket, your baby boy is fast asleep against your chest. Your jealousy thickens as you observe his sweet little face sleeping so peacefully against your chest.

Almost as if he can hear your thoughts, Nikki pipes up from the chair by the window. “Are you tired? Do you want me to hold him?”

You’d have forever to hold your little boy, so you gingerly hand him over to an excited Nikki. After helping him reposition his arms to support the baby boy’s head, your own head sinks into the pillow, eyes fluttering shut.

“Hi, Y/B/N. It’s me, Uncle Nikki. I’ve been friends with your mother for a while now, and I want you to know that you have the best mommy in the world.” Your eyes fly open as quick as they had closed, and the sight in front of you warms your heart. Pressing a delicate kiss to your son’s head, Nikki holds him close. “Somedays, she’s going to struggle though. And when she does, I want you to know that I’m always going to look after her. She can do this alone,” Emotion clouds Nikki’s voice. “But I want her to know she doesn't have to.”

Something in the atmosphere changes. The man in front of you cradling your son as if he were his own had transformed before your eyes. Your heart had always held a soft spot for Nikki, and growing up it wasn’t uncommon for adults to assume you were romantically involved. You’d always denied a relationship between you and Nikki, but as you stare at him softly singing a lullaby to your son, the possibility of you and Nikki entertaining something more than friendship rose to the surface.

“And there’s something I never want you to forget, little one,” Nikki speaks to your son, but his eyes, so full of something that can’t be described as anything other than longing, are zeroed in on your face. “Your mother, even with all her flaws, her quirks, and her insecurities, she’s as close to perfect as one can get. And to be loved by her is something out of a dream.”

[smileyoongle]

Come Back Home (A Kim Taehyung Mafia AU) // Part 9

Look who's back....lol. Enjoy this angsty installment, I'll see you all with the next chapter soon. Also, there might be mentions of suicide, so please be careful if that's something you get triggered by.

Summary: You were dead. Or at least that's what Kim Taehyung thought. But love never dies. A myth, yes. And maybe that's why when he finds out that you are alive, he may have already lost you.

Pairing: Mafia!Taehyung×Reader

"I swear to god, Taehyung, someone's gonna see us." You gasped, Taehyung's lips tasting the skin on your neck as he held you tightly, your body trapped between him and the steering wheel. Your hands were tangled in his hair, eyes fighting to keep looking out the window in case someone actually saw the lustful daze you both were stuck in. 

"You worry too much. Who cares if someone sees us? You're mine and I'll touch you whenever I want." His words were slightly slurred, brows furrowing in concentration as he put his point across. You glanced down at him, his lips swollen and eyes red, staring at you with every ounce of admiration he held. Your heart fluttered, all your focus gathering on the man before you. You slowly leaned down and pressed your lips against his, kissing him in the most loving way possible. You were on cloud nine with how perfect his lips felt against yours, every kiss different and refreshing. Pulling away, you leaned your forehead against his, catching your breath while he rested against the dark leather seat. "Yours." You mumbled, earning a proud grin from Taehyung before he pulled you closer and captured your lips once again.

A sharp knocking on your window startled you, dragging you out of your... illusion. You gasped lightly, turning your gaze away from the driver's seat of Taehyung's car and looking out the window. You didn't know how long you had been sitting alone in the car, but Taehyung had told you to not go anywhere until he came back. He was currently inside the club, dealing with those people who posed a threat to your safety. Something told you this threat wasn't gonna end anytime soon but you couldn't find it in you to care. You just wanted to remember everything and go back to living your life without any problems. Taehyung's words had hit a chord somewhere in your heart, the warmth of his body when you had hugged him was still embracing you. You didn't ever want to let that feeling go.

Rolling the window down, you looked up at Yoongi who was standing before you with a bloody arm. Your eyes trailed across the sleeve of his jacket to see a bullet wound, blood oozing out of it without any control. Your eyes widened, lips parting in shock. Yoongi noticed your tension, his eyes following your gaze to the bullet wound he had received while blocking you from those gangsters. For you, it may have been just a lethal injury but for Yoongi, it was a badge of honour. He was just glad that you were alive and okay. Life had given him another chance to protect the girl he used to call family. He still did but, you didn't remember a thing about him.

"I..- Are you alright? I came to check up on you. Taehyung will be here in a couple minutes." He said, voice low and breathing a little shaky. You saw how his skin was paler than usual, worry overcoming every other sense of relief you felt at the moment. You immediately got out of the car, holding the door open and gesturing for him to get in. Yoongi frowned, looking at you with a confused expression. "That doesn't look good. You need to sit." 

Your voice was gentle and kind, different from all the times you used to scold Yoongi for being so reckless. He didn't know if this was better or not, but he hoped you'd go back to being his family someday. Yoongi pursed his lips, slightly shaking his head and opening his mouth to tell you he was fine until you interrupted him

"Please. You wouldn't even be hurt if it weren't for me." 

Yoongi felt that ache in his heart, his throat constricting as he forced himself to look away from your pleading eyes. Your words were innocent but wrong. You didn't know how much yoongi was willing to take another hit for you. Not just Yoongi, all the others too. With a stern nod, Yoongi sat inside the car, your hands wrapping around his arm as you helped him in. The warmness of your touch was enough to make him feel relaxed, but his head was now spinning a little. Stupid bullet.

You bit your lip, glancing around for anything you could use to stop his wound from bleeding. You felt responsible and if anything were to happen to him, you were definitely gonna blame yourself forever. You rubbed your head in panic, peeping inside the backseat of the car to get your resources. 

"Y/N." You moved back to look at Yoongi, his deep voice calling out to you with a hint of familiarity. Your eyebrows were raised in question and concern, your mind ready to give him whatever he was about to ask for. Yoongi looked up at you, studying your expression. He knew it very well, he had seen it before plenty of times. The least he could do was let you know that it was okay that you were in his life. It was okay that he was hurt because of you. It was okay because...you were the only one who always cared.

"Me being hurt, or anyone else for that matter, has nothing to do with you. And I want you to know that we all would gladly take a bullet for you. Anytime." 

There was a wave of intense emotions pouring over you. Anger at yourself for not remembering anything. Surprise that you had such an impact on people you didn't even recall. And worry that someday you'd probably end up having someone die for you. You were frozen in your place, hands clenched by your side as you tried to form the right words to say. There was a knowing look on Yoongi's face, his lips stretching into a smile as he glanced behind you. "It's okay. I understand." He said, making you look down at the ground in shame. It must be a really good feeling to know how much love was being poured upon you. For now, you were just lost, but hopefully, that little book sitting beneath your pillow at home would help you recover.

The sound of footsteps made you turn around, your eyes meeting Taehyung's as he walked towards you with the rest of his group. You spotted Minho with an unconscious Yoona in his arms, not even glancing at you as he made his way to his car. There was a little bit of nervousness settling in on seeing the intimidating people before you, but it was all gone when you looked into Taehyung's eyes. The illusion you had witnessed came rushing back to you, cheeks growing warm as you looked away from him.

"Are you okay?" He asked almost immediately, your eyes catching the little cuts on his knuckles. It didn't take a genius to know that Taehyung had beaten the shit out of your potential kidnappers, and for some reason, you felt satisfied. You nodded in response, peeking over your shoulder at Yoongi who was sitting inside the car. You turned your attention to Hoseok, who watched you with a sad look in his eyes, your hands hesitantly pointing at the elder male behind you. Everyone's eyes immediately shot to Yoongi, eyes widening momentarily as Hoseok rushed to Yoongi's aid. 

Taking note of your conflict, Jungkook patted your shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile. "He's gonna be okay, Y/N. It's been a long night. Let's head home, yeah?" Jungkook's tone did little to calm you down but you still nodded, not quite catching his meaning of the word 'home'. 

Everyone began filing up in their cars, your feet stuck in one place while Taehyung cleared his throat beside you. He still hadn't asked you if you would be okay with coming home with him. He didn't want to burden you with too many things, your comfort was his only priority. That time you threw yourself in his arms, indicated that maybe you would want to stay with Taehyung. That thought boosted his hopes, his eyes lighting up as he waited for you to pay attention to him.

"Y/N, I think it's best if you stay with me tonight." The words were easy to say. They even made your heart flutter in excitement. Staying with Taehyung? That was definitely something you could do. But the universe seemed to be against it, for Yoona's face flashed in your mind. You glanced at Minho's car, seeing that it was still in the same place where he had left it. 

You couldn't be selfish now, could you? Yoona needed you. She was drunk and Minho must be shaken up too. It wasn't just you who had been pulled into that traumatic experience, Minho had endured it too. He was a normal person, like you. He wasn't like Taehyung or Yoongi. He couldn't just come out fine after going through things like these. You had to be there. For your friends.

You swallowed thickly, formulating your words carefully so as to not hurt Taehyung. But he'd surely understand, right? 

"I should head home, Yoona doesn't look okay and-"

"Don't give me an explanation. I get it."

Your heart stung at how harshly Taehyung replied. His eyes were now blank, all that affection having been erased, as if it was never there. Taehyung gave you one last look and rushed past you to get in his car, his shoulder brushing against yours. You swore you wanted to cry then and there, not understanding what made Taehyung snap like that. You turned around, watching as Yoongi spoke to Taehyung inside the car, his eyes finding yours and you saw it clearly. There was so much disappointment in Yoongi's eyes that you felt guilty even if you didn't know what you had done. Your eyes stung as all the cars drove away, pain overwhelming your senses all of a sudden.

💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤

"Taehyung!" Namjoon bellowed, eyes widened in bewilderment as the man in question angrily tossed everything to the floor. Taehyung didn't care what he was breaking, as long as he heard the satisfying sound that indicated the destruction of the object. The emotions running through him were strong and unfathomable, a little too dangerous for anyone to handle. The crazed and defeated look in Taehyung's eyes was beyond explainable. He was tired and done. He didn't want to hear how much you cared about your shitty best friend. He wanted you to come back to him. Because you were his. He wanted you to just leave everything and come back to his arms. 

"Taehyung, you need to calm-"

"No, I won't fucking calm down. It hurts in here and I need it to stop." 

Jungkook almost didn't recognize the person in front of him, it was like he was seeing a stranger. Taehyung jabbed his finger to his chest, cheeks wet with the onslaught of tears that seemed endless. No matter how many things Taehyung broke, it wasn't satisfying enough. And it wasn't until he felt the cold metal underneath his shirt that his anger diminished. Standing in the middle of the mess he had created, he pulled out his gun, eyeing it like it was the solution to all his problems. Everyone's eyes widened, breathing faltering when Taehyung slowly looked up at them with hollow eyes.

"She kept me sane. And I'd rather not live than be without her."

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As you can see, I clearly can't tag a couple people. Dm me so that I can actually try to help you with why I'm unable to tag you. Also, comment if you wanna be added to the taglist.

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