#he doesn't deserve a girlfriend OR a boyfriend frankly!

[wannaeatramyeon]

Lunchbox for Your Boyfriend! Jake Kim, Samuel Seo

Jake Kim x Reader

"What's that, boss?"

Jake grins at Brad as he pulls out his lunch that was specially prepared by you. You had held it out to him this morning, looking exceptionally happy with yourself. Jake's expression then matched yours when he asked "For me?" and you nodded.

"Yeah, looks good!" Jason adds.

After carefully opening the lid, Jake unveils... well. Rather questionable items. At least through anybody else's eyes.

Greying meat (bless whatever poor, indistinguishable creature gave their life up for this) and wilted salad sits on one side. And there was rice - but even that looked oddly wet yet dry at the same time. The ambiguous small lumps of black, whatever the hell that was, were the final cherries on top.

All Jake saw was your love poured into this meal. He couldn't wait to tuck in.

That was not what Jason and Brad saw. They exchanged looks at the frankly inedible meal set out in front of the Head of Big Deal. Sure, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but if judging meant avoiding chronic food poisoning then it's just good sense, right?

"On second thoughts..." Jason murmurs, leaning away from the 'food' as Brad subtly gags.

"Huh?" Lineman pops out of nowhere, joining them at the table and trying to see what everyone was looking at. Oh... That looked. Unfortunate.

"Who shit in your lunch, boss?"

Samuel Seo x Reader

It dwells on his mind.

That ugly bento box. The bright neon pink hue, the cat pawprints on the lid. Tucked away under his desk, and wrapped in a garish purple fabric with teddy bear faces. Out of sight, but not out of mind.

You had 'tiptoed' out of bed at 5:14am. Samuel knew, because you were not quiet. You couldn't be quiet or discreet to save your life. Your heavy footsteps echoed from the bed all the way to the kitchen, and it was quickly joined by a cacaphony of saucepans or plates or whatever the fuck clashing down.

Somes days Samuel thinks he doesn't deserve you, this morning he wonders what he's done to deserve this. You had stayed up talking about nonsense until 2am, and now - inspired by bento boxes and cute lunches, was intent on making one for him.

Lovingly prepared by your girlfriend, you had said. Samuel thinks about said 'love' as you continue to bang around in the kitchen.

And then an hour later, as he pads out to greet you and ready for the day, you're covered in grease and hair in disarray but looking pleased as punch.

You hold the offending lunch outstretched in your hands. In that hideous box, and even more hideous cloth. He was sure whatever was inside would be infinitely more offensive to his senses, if your past cooking attempts were anything to go by.

With anyone else, Samuel would have scoffed and sneered. With you, he takes it with thanks and a stiff smile.

It really must be love.

[frazzledsoul]

Finished Shameless season 4 last night and here are my unsolicited thoughts, once again:

I think if Fiona had not been dating Mike and was just working for the cup company she could have made it work. I mean, she might have done something to screw it up, but if she weren't being fully integrated into Mike's perfect family she wouldn't have felt so much pressure to rebel with the one person she relates to, his shithead alcoholic brother. I think Mike would have backed off, she would have been good at her job, and she would have had more time to spend at home (and notice that Debbie had a 20-year-old "boyfriend", for instance).

On that note, I think Fiona really starts courting danger when she provokes a fight in traffic, she's attacked while in a company car, and she outright lies to Mike about it and somehow acts like he's the one that owes her something. She tended to treat Steve like shit once she found out he was privileged because there was no way his problems could be as bad as hers and I think she has the same disrespect towards Mike, even if she no longer has the same problems. Once she's got all this nice stuff handed to her, she gets overconfident and rebels and screws everything up. It wouldn't have been like that if Mike were just her boss.

This doesn't excuse anything, but I kind of get it with Robbie. Maybe it was because the actor was in Chicago Med and he was actually kind of dull, but yeah he's a little hot....in a scuzzy, chaotic way, of course.

That said, the coke incident was entirely her fault and it doesn't matter that it was an accident because she shouldn't have been doing hard drugs around a bunch of little kids (I also can't picture her doing this in S1-3, either). Her insistence that she's going to fight it because she shouldn't be punished because she didn't INTEND for anything bad to happen...sorry, honey, that's bullshit. The fact that she pleads guilty after Lip had pretty much took over running the household and was literally taking Liam with him everywhere, begs and pleads to be trusted again, and THEN violates her parole and goes out and parties again after one (1) day of unsuccessful job hunting? Honestly, I've been in his position too much IRL to have much sympathy.

I honestly think Lip's struggles at the beginning of the season were mainly because....he's not used to having a real job or a schedule? He's used to scraping along and scamming and hustling and being good at it and he couldn't deal with actual expectations. After the interlude with Mandy early in the season he sort of becomes...a dreamboat, honestly? He's like a completely different person and he was actually succeeding at keeping things afloat and working/going to school. I know he's going to screw it all up and it's going to be awful. Oh, well.

Mandy, as usual, has a completely tragic plot going on in the background that deserves more attention. It's frankly not realistic to me that her boyfriend was allowed to stay in the Milkovich house after he had beat her. Sure, Mickey & co may not have been successful at keeping him away from her, but that doesn't mean they have to let him stay there. Also, that last scene with her waiting on Lip (and pretending not to know him) and his shiny new college girlfriend who shares her name kind of hurt.

Ian completely disappearing for the first couple of episodes of the season while Mickey focuses on unionizing the hoes kind of threw me off guard. Also, I ship him and Ian too much now. I can't believe I have one more season with them and then four seasons of almost nothing. Ugh.

What a twisted family the Milkovich household is at the end of the season: a newly out Mickey, his bipolar boyfriend, Russian hooker wife, her girlfriend, and a baby. Yikes.

The less one says about Debbie's plot the better. Yikes. And the worst is yet to come!

That's really all we get of Bonnie and Carl?!?

Sammi doesn't seem that bad. Honestly, I feel she's the main reason Frank had a real plotline this year.

I would have liked it if Sheila had mentioned Karen at least once, but...nothing. I feel she expended so much energy on finding a surrogate child in Hymie and this season's random kids she wanted to adopt because Karen was just someone she couldn't deal with anymore, and once she was no longer the same person, it made sense to her to send her away. I kind of hope at the end of all of this she went to find Karen and Hymie and got them away from Jody.

Why did I have to watch Kevin and Veronica's incest threesome last year if Veronica's mom was just going to keep the resulting baby and they were going to have their own kids anyway? I assaulted my eyes for nothing.

Nice to see you, Negan cosplaying as a nice guy! I won't get used to it or the newly not-dead Jimmy SteveJack.

So on to season 5. I'm half tempted to skip season 6 because I get a feeling it's just pregnancy drama the entire season and that's quite tiresome to me.

[indras-wife]

hey there, so happy to find more Indra fans on this website! could you write your HCs about him in a relationship? preferably with a female s/o. thanks in advance!

Happy to find a lot of people here interested in him too ! Indra is definitely a character that deserves the spotlight. And your request is sooo good😍💞Thanks for requesting it. I included before and after the succession conflict. Hope its okay with you💖

Indra in relationship(before the Ninshu succession conflict)

-Firstly, he never imagined falling in love and having a girlfriend. This man always considered love an inferior and not important feeling. It all changed of course when his s/o came to his life very unexpectedly.

-At first he would feel lost, not knowing what to do or say as a boyfriend. Soon with his s/o’s help he starts to open up a little and show his lovely side.

-Beautiful words, smiles that only his s/o could see were inseparable parts of their relationship. He also would allow his s/o hug him and comb his long majestic hair(he never lets anyone else touch his hair).

-From time to time, Indra would make small trips with his s/o, making everyone in the village know that she belongs to him. He won’t tolerate any other men trying to flirt with her or even speak with her.

-Indra’s soft and hidden side would come out only with his s/o, which frankly is a big accomplishment for her. She proves others, especially his father, that he can be loving despite his cold attitude.

After the succession conflict

-The old Indra is GONE. Dead.

-Romance? Don't even expect it. He would be too focused on destroying Ashura and his father’s ideologies.

-The cold demeanor becomes even worse after the fight. No hugs, kisses, cuddles. Nothing.

-He would even go to such lengths as kidnapping his s/o and making her his wife. Whether his s/o wanted it or not doesn't matter. That man gets what he wants and finds important in his life and he found his s/o being his wife mandatory.

-Despite his cold and sometimes even rude behavior, Indra would feel guilty and try to be a little bit more romantic from time to time, but don’t expect him to be that kind always. He may surprise his s/o with some kisses or even intimacy focusing mostly on her pleasure.

[alexissara]

Polyamory Is Queer

So a post on twitter happened where a pansexual person was saying Polyamory was queer and that he wanted people to include Polyamory in their pride merch was getting massively dunked on on twitter. nearly 1000 people at the time of me starting to write this had decided they should tell this person to die, to say he was a fed, that polyamarous people weren't oppressed in any way, that the oppression they have is deserved, etc. That alone to me would speak to the queerness here of polyamory, getting mass harassment for dating to suggest that even against our own, a pansexual guy.

Like the post is cringe in that asking for merch is cringe, like who cares, it's capitalism, I don't care about polyam flag merch, in fact, I probably wouldn't buy it if it existed in general. I would rather get merch of three girls holding hands being polyamarous and really that mostly doesn't exist and, a little sad sure, but it doesn't matter. It's not really an access of oppression.

However, I want to talk about why polyamory is queer and to knock down all the common talking points that are levied against queer people. I am not using any strawmen here I promise you I only need to look at these quote retweets to see SOOO MANY people saying the same shit I see right here.

Polyamarous People Are Not Oppressed

Polyamorous people face many different forms of oppression. There is the obviously and previously stated mass dunking on a person for daring to say they want more polyam merch and that polyam people are part of the wider queer community. This isn't a lone incident but instead I see all the time monogamous people feeling it is totally fine to dunk on polyamarous people because they met one that annoyed them or because it makes them uncomfortable or we are sluts or something. The mass harassment and open hatred are in fact a form of oppression.

However, it doesn't just result in the public opinion but the legal reality. You can be legally fired for being polyamarous basically everywhere. If you have a divorce and you are polyamarous your child will be taken away, it doesn't matter if you have proof if it being consensual it is a mark against you. If someone is sick in the polycule only one person can claim themselves as a partner to go to a hospital and see them. Polyamarous people do not have a right to be married. Polyamarous people are subjected to increased criticism about their relationships. Polyamarous people face a hyper comparison when one person lies about being polyam to abuse their girlfriend or a polyam person ends up being a bad partner it is cast on all polyamarous people.

Cis/Het Men Can't Be Queer

When people make this argument their projecting the bad boyfriend of a friend of theirs onto all polyamorous people, it's a straw man. We've decided some time ago that cis/het men can in fact be queer, I don't even like that. If I was big goddess of queerness I would vanish cis/het men from being queer but we already decided that they were. I frankly just do not care for cis/het dudes generally, some of my favorite siblings are cis/het dudes.

The A in LGBTQIA includes Asexuals and Aromantics both of whom can be Cis/Het men. The I can in fact also include cis/het men people who are intersex and assigned male at birth and id as men do exist and those people can in fact be cis/het.

Polyamarous People Aren't Historically Oppressed

The reality is if you look at the history of the world, you'll find that most cultures were not monogamous. A lot practiced Social Monogamy aka a woman was owned by a man but the man fucked around and that was normal. However, many cultures simply had no concept of monogamy, in fact there are some cultures to this day that are non monogamous without men having ownership of women. The reality is much how history is much gayer then we know and a lot more trans then we know history is also a lot more non-monogamous. Many indigenous cultures and pre Christian cultures practiced various forms of non-monogamy. These cultures were wiped out slowly with the Christian take over of the majority of the world. Ethical or not we know many powerful people took multiple wives in countries like China where the empires had ranks for their consorts as a standard practice. These are not vastly different then the kind of monogamous marriages that were common place by kings only they didn't need to kill their wives to be with other women.

The reality is that something that came natural to many be it bad or good instincts was suppressed and removed. Polyamory was wiped out from most the world because it deviated the mind set of the colonizers. Of course any place queerness has been suppressed queer non-monogamy was suppressed as well. We know that polyamarous people have had to hide their relationships especially if they deviated from the heteronormative model like like in the case of  William Moulton Marston, Elizabeth Holloway Marston, and Olive Byrne whom had to cloak their relationship be that sexual or not.

Polyamarous Are Just Sleeping Around

I don't have to go in depth here, asexual polyamarous people like me exist. I am dating many a hot lady and person and I haven't had sex in years. I don't have sex. You don't need to have sex to be polyamarous.

However, what's wrong with wanting to have sex? Why is that a grounds for oppression? Having lots of sex or no sex, it doesn't make you more or less valid. I saw someone say that polyamarous people deserve to have their kids taken away because their sleeping around.

Does a single monogamous mom deserve to have her kids taken away if she sleeps around when her kids are with their dad? What about a dad? Like sleeping around is something most monogamous allosexuals do. Be that cheating or being chronically single and going on hook up apps for sex. The second you start dating your supposed to swear away your libido towards others forever until you break up.

If that's your form of chastity play with your partner, I am not here to stop you. However, consenting partners deciding they are good with each other fucking other people isn't wrong.

Polyamory is Oppressing Women

Where in the terfy world have I heard people claiming someone else's private lives are actually just oppressing cis women. Can cis/het dudes say "Hey girl, I'm polyamarous so it wasn't cheating when I fucked your best friend" sure they can but that was still cheating. People don't even time to understand Non-monogamy to know that the vast majority of polyam people would say that it is cheating to have sex with another person without informing your partner or agreeing in advance you both can sleep with anyone you want.

Again, I don't give a shit about cis/het dudes, send them to the sun, I don't care but here they are used as a hypnotical device to attack other queer people. The OP who was getting harassed on mass was Pansexual and most everyone I have seen say Polyamory is queer has been some form of queer person. I don't know if you know this but cis/het dudes do not want to be queer, they don't want to be counted among the homosexuals on account that many of them are homophobic and transphobic.

This simply willingly ignores that many women are polyamarous. If you look at many poly groups you'll see lots of women there looking to date men and women. If you go on dating apps like her you'll see lots of polyamarous women. If you go to one trans women's discord server you'll see lots of polyamarous women there. You can see polyamarous lesbians

Polyamory Is Oppressive

Typically they form at some form of Polygamy and go like, see, polyamory is oppressive and you all act like your better then us! This utterly ignores that to this day monogamy has not unpacked it's roots as a system of ownership. The history of dating for love is actually ridiculously small in the white world. Monogamy was just one of several systems of women being sold to men by the men in their lives. One that took root and was forced on many many many people's who did not practice this form of oppression or oppressing women at all until Christians came to their land.

Polyamory can be unethical as can many other forms of non-monogamy and some are rooted in systems of ownership just like monogamy is rooted in that. The reality is our hearts are not ethical anyway, we can't expect love to be perfect and utterly unproblematic but also there are forms of polyamory that are ethical.

Polyamory Is Just A Choice

I saved this one for last because this one is feelings based where the others have provable facts this one people can simply chose to believe me or not. However, I want to talk about wider queer theory for a second to really practically engage this idea. While the popular narrative is that being queer is not a choice some queer theorists have pushed back on this idea. The main queer counter arguments are We Chose Our Own Actions and If It Was A Choice I'd Chose It.

We Chose Own Actions poses us with the idea that while our internal feelings might not be a choice we chose how we act on our choices and queerness is choosing to express and live outside of what we are told. That queerness itself is the choice of acting against the cishetero systems of control. So it doesn't matter if a Republican law maker is secretly gay, he wouldn't be queer because queerness in this model is a choice, it's an identity we chose.

Then the If It Was A Choice It Chose It model says, so what if it was a choice. It choses to simply ignore internal feelings and say it doesn't matter why I want to kiss other women, the fact I chose to do it is consensually with other women who chose to kiss women in itself is valid and worthy of respect. That there is nothing shameful about being queer and therefore if they could chose to be queer that is enough to be respected. This simply says being gay is great, I like being gay, I'd pick it every time and you can't stop me and I will be respected.

We went over these models to say that even if you end up disagreeing with me, that being non-mongamous is in fact not a choice to you that that doesn't necessarily excluded it from being queer and that doesn't mean that Polyamarous people don't deserve respect or rights.

However, to me being polyamarous is core to who I am. It is not a choice for me but I would chose it every time. I would never want to get rid of my 15 year relationship with my Fiancé or my 8 year relationship with my girlfriends in Scotland or any other relationship I'm a part of. To me it's natural to want to be with other people, to feel romantic feelings and it feels gross to me to suggest that I should suppress those feelings or if I did that it would be morally better.

I was in high school when I started dating my Fiancé, even then Freshmen year of high school I told them, "Hey if you wanna date other people, that's okay". At the time, It was mostly because we lived an "unbareable" thirty minutes away from one another, sometimes an hour in traffic. "Worlds away" and unable to drive I really wanted them to be able to be loved and have everything they wanted in a relationship. They did not act on that for years and years. Many years later we talk about polyamory more seriously, I had feelings for my now 8 year long distance relationship GFs. We had all been friends, they helped me come out as trans, we got on so perfectly, and there was a guy friend of ours that they had been kinda attracted to and wanted to try to feel things out with. We agreed that we would explore our feelings and stuff.

From there we've been actively identifying as polyamorous, there was bumps in the road, I was not a perfect girlfriend and I misunderstood how Polyamory worked like thinking we all had to want to date each other and realizing that was not the case. It felt right to be polyam and it kept feeling right as we met people, had feelings and let our relationships evolve to wherever they went naturally, disclosing with each other obviously but we love talking about crushes and dates and stuff together. We've never dated the same person and we probably never will but we love each other and love seeing each other be loved. This is core to who I am, my Fiancé is my soul mate, but my soul isn't small, it's big and it has other soul mates and sweet loves.

It what comes natural to me and it would feel as bad to me to stop being polyamorous as to go back into the closet about being asexual, trans or being a lesbian. To me it's the part of my identity that is probably most in practice in that I talk to my GFs every single day, I live with my Fiancé, their actively part of my life every single day and I am open to new feelings every single day. Even with a recent break up with one of my Girlfriend's of nearly two years I not once wished I was monogamous, my heart was in pain but I still loved being polyam.

I don't have anything else to say on this topic really, I don't care if I get dunked on, to me, this is who I am. I don't particularly love "the polyam community" as a wider hole, I am in my own lesbian niche. Still, I think even the unfortunately straight among us deserve to have the right to love who they love. Nothing anyone stays is gonna get me to suddenly see my love as selfish or something.

[If you want more polyamorous sapphic art to exist in the world maybe consider throwing me a few bucks on Patreon or Ko-fi so I can afford to make more.]

[jigjagflist]

Please, I'm Begging

Here I am again trying to sleep, and the miserable idea of you/what you did still occupies my thoughts. Hell, even on the drive home I was thinking about it. I know you had me hacked. I know you paid people to track me. And for what?? Because I was interesting to you and you wanted me under a microscope? Back then I was on pot so often that I couldn't realize what was happening. As the years go by I piece together more and more of your stalking saga. Do you know I identify as an Ace now? Yeah, I'm so detached from dating that I have no desire for sex whatsoever.

You must know some of my family history, how I was never in a household with any sort of loving couple. My parents' marriage was awful and the ugly divorce was a constant strain throughout my childhood and teens. My sisters never had boyfriends growing up, I never had girlfriends, because we were raised very modestly and ignorantly Christian. My dad never gave me any advice about girls. My mom only gave me one tip in the 4th grade. It was "try writing her a poem". Ha, did you know that's why I would write poems for girls? I bet you didn't know that part. Yeah, it was to make my mom proud and find a girl to love and show her that I'm not like my dad and that I'm a good boyfriend/husband material. But girls hated that. They made fun of me for writing poetry just like you did.

As I got older my family lost respect for me because I couldn't find a girlfriend, like I'm some creep who probably deserves to be single. That hurt. Do you know how many times I was rejected or stood up? I was abstinent until around 20 yrs old when I decided I should give it a shot, like it's something that I could achieve naturally. But no, I didn't know anything about girls or sex, and I got kicked to the curb and ridiculed by everyone. And this isn't the movies where the good guy finds inner strength and willpower to overcome adversity. No, I went into a chronic depression that you will never imagine. I had no one. No one to help me change my ways, to give me advice, to comfort me (except my cat at the time). Did you know that my cat died/got lost when I ran away from my dad after he hit me at age 25? I bet you didn't. Or maybe you did, because I think you were still stalking me at the time. Anyway, it wasn't easy to learn how to manage depression. Not everyone is like you, plenty of socially proficient friends to console you at a moments notice. Friends who teach you things like "fake it till you make it." That doesn't work for guys. I know because I got ghosted countless times after tying to have sex but not knowing how. Nobody would show me the way. It hurt so badly.

Did you know I have a shaved head now? Yep, age 32 and my male baldness is so bad that I look better with a John Travola look. My youth is a memory; I was cute, and I could've made a cute girl so happy if I knew better and wasn't toyed with so much. Are you wondering how I learned to manage my acute depression all these years without medication? Well, I wish I could say it was some technique, but I really just timed it out per se. Frankly, you could say that even my depression got lethargic. It stopped being so vehement everyday. I throw myself into my restaurant work and hopefully wear myself out so that I think less about what hurts and more about the money I make. Now, the depression is still prominent in my mind, idly mostly, but it rages now and again.

I'm not OK. I'm a great waiter, but my conversation is usually one-dimensional since I still struggle socially. I'm definitely more of an alcoholic and still smoke menthols after like 10 years. Not OK. I'm working out a bit and I'm in decent shape. My coworkers and clientel give me the respect and admiration I never got from female company. But everyday I think about episodes like: "You can't be Brannon Rosen" in the line for the show, or "There's someone pretending to be you" at Subway, or "Walk with me" at Cathedral Square, and I wonder what it all means. Do you have any idea how much that fucks with my head? IMMENSELY. Obviously, because I'm writing this at 2AM when I have to be up at 6:45 for work. So, please, just contact me. Message this Tumblr or text me. My number is still the same 251-487-6743. Or come see me at work, I don't care. I'm done being afraid of these thoughts. Please. This is the season when I wrote "Life Continued" which was about a post-suicide attempt (one of them). You can even send one your friends to explain the situation to me. I'm BEGGING for your help.

[formulaonedirection]

He’s having a strop x

[yoongis-tangerines]

hey I love your fics! can you do something where the reader is a badass like sasaengs are scared of her and the member boasts about her to others? thank you💜💜 Have a nice day!

➼ pairing: idol!yoongi x fem!reader

➼ summary: established relationship, reader is less of a badass and more of a tsundere, hope that's okay, teeny little drabble

➼ word count: 2k, short and sweet :)

➼ what to expect: "yeah, actually, taehyung hosted a live yesterday. maybe you should hop off and go watch that one, hm?"

➼ warnings: language?? reader is a bit rude to the vlive viewers (the ones that deserve it anyways)

➼ talk to the characters!

➼ thank you for the request, anon! if you also want to request something, do it here!

➼ THIS IS NOT A TRANSCRIPT OF HIS PTD LA VLIVE! i just picked a random concert for him to do a live after and this one seemed fitting

yoongi starts the live, eyes flitting around the screen as viewers trickle in quickly

"hello." he waves awkwardly, smiling at his awkwardness just a moment after

you're mulling around in his hotel room just off camera with a book and a stoic look on your face

it's a well known fact throughout the fandom that you're yoongi's girlfriend, it's been a public relationship for a little more than a year now

yoongi appreciates that his fans love you, you're very well adored by them

but of course, there are always those fans who are quite jealous of you, but those aren't real fans anyways

and yoongi knows that

in fact, your relationship isn't only good for him, but quite frankly his safety as well

you're a closed off person, you're not very cheerful or bubbly, but yoongi loves you all the same

you tend to..,,,. intimidate people

more on that later :)

"just waiting for everyone to come." yoongi reaches for his glass of wine sitting near him on the table, taking a sip and reading over the multitude of comments, mostly filled with purple hearts and well wishes

and the thirst comments, but those are always good for his ego (however graphic they are...)

it's not long before he sees them: the comments asking where the other members are

it's not like he doesn't mind them, deep down he wishes they would just pay attention to him. if he wanted to bring another member in, he would have already

"how did you all enjoy tonight's concert?" yoongi asks softly, leaning on the table to watch the comments in all the world's languages bombarde him

he and the members have just finished another successful concert in LA, and although he absolutely loves being with his fans and performing with his bandmates, sitting with you alone in a hotel room and winding down is pretty appealing as well

comments of praise filter in pretty quickly, he struggles to keep up with them all

"they're probably not even all home yet." your voice chimes in from the background

yoongi turns to face you, you haven't even glanced up from your book. he turns back to his live

"oh, right." he smiles his gummy smile

"i hope everyone gets home safe. it's probably hectic, fifty thousand people leaving all at one time." he grimaces at the thought, playing with his chain bracelet

you enter his mind again after a moment of silence and he turns back to you

"come here, baby, come sit with me." he pats his lap and gains your attention for a moment

you gently place your bookmark on your page and settle your book next to you on your shared bed, swinging your sock-clad feet over the edge and striding over to your boyfriend, his gummy-grin on fully display as you comply with his request

you cross your arms and raise an eyebrow, seeing there's only one seat and he's sitting in it

he pats his lap again cheekily

"c'mere." he urges again

you roll your eyes and settle down on his lap, flicking your hair over your shoulder and peering into the camera and reading the comments of your arrival

y/n-ieeeee!

💜💜angel💜💜

너무 예뻐요💜💜🤍🤍 (so pretty 💜💜🤍🤍)

милая пара! (nice couple!)

¿estaba ella en el concierto? (was she at the concert?)

you squint, much like yoongi, and nod

"i was there. but i'll never tell you where." you sigh casually, crossing your legs and slinging your arms around yoongi's neck

i thought i saw her! my friends thought i was crazy

yoongi! get us an uber, we're stuck at so-fi! 🚗🚗

service sucksssss, still watching the live tho

okay wait is no one gonna acknowledge that she can read spanish?

yoongi laughs, "she's a woman of many talents." he's so very proud of you, but he'd never say it that way. it makes you feel like he's being condescending, but you know he loves you

there's a comfortable silence as the pair of you read through the constant comments

he can feel you tense suddenly, and he follows your eyes to the comments

and then he sees it

where's taehyungie-oppa? 💜

he can feel the storm brewing right next to him

your tongue pokes inside your cheek in irritation and you hum in mock fascination

yoongi tries to quickly change the subject

"so, um, you guys-"

"hi, um... what's your name?" you squint to read the username, "mrs-kim. yeah, hi. nice to meet you. i think you've forgotten who's hosting this vlive?" you tilt your head, feigning innocence

"y/n-"

"yeah, actually, taehyung hosted a live yesterday. maybe you should hop off and go watch that one, hm?"

as much as yoongi wants to stop you, he can't help but listen, his lips tugging upwards fondly at your attitude

he doesn't mind the comments, he knows he's loved, but it's just fun to watch you get all fired up

yoongi can't help but just stare at you, his eyes landing unabashedly on your lips as you speak

see, this is why your relationship is good for his safety and his management sees no problem with you dating him

you scare people

you're not afraid to put fans in their place when they're out of line

disrespectful shippers, fans of only one member, sasaengs, you name it

yoongi can't remember the last time he saw a sasaeng at the airport or even caught wind of one on their tail

you're also pretty good of... taking care of things

not in a violent way, per say, but he notices when things haven't gone according to plan, one dirty look from you and things are going right again

your type of personality has attracted your own group of little intimidating friends before you even met him

how did you meet him? well, that's something he'll never forget

the only part yoongi doesn't like to admit is he was attending a club in france in disguise

and surprise surprise, someone recognized him from only his eyes in a mask and a beanie

now that he thinks about it, it's actually quite impressive, the dedication that his fans put into his features and recognizing them

he's sure they weren't meaning to swarm him, but they were causing quite a commotion and drawing even more fans over to him

he really just wanted to be alone

and then- that voice he would never forget

"hey, leave him alone. it's like you're all leeches; scram."

once you shove through a few fans (and a few more aggressive ones) the others take a hint and scatter, still whispering to each other and glancing over at him every once in a while

"hope that helps. you looked a little claustrophobic in there. i'll be with my friends if it happens again." you point to your group and start to join them again when he instinctively stops you

"hey! um, thank you... for that. can i- can i buy you a drink?" he gestures vaguely to the bar he's sitting at

he doesn't know what just happened- but he knows he doesn't regret asking

you smirk knowingly, "sure. thanks." you take a seat next to him and inform the bartender of your favorite

the two of you got to talking and he ended up asking for your number

oh, he knew his management and probably namjoon would be absolutely livid when they found out, but who's he to care? he just met the girl of his dreams

and, something he didn't know until much, much later, is that you were actually a huge fan of him and his members

you were very good at keeping that under wraps until he got to know you better, and he appreciated that more than you could know

it wasn't until a little further into your relationship that he started noticing the fangirl traits about you

anyways, back on track with your friends-

your friends know people who know people, if you know what he means

"and if you can't-"

as you go on your little rant, yoongi grabs your chin between his fingers and effectively interrupts you mid sentence by planting his lips firmly on yours

you let out an uncharacteristic squeal at his behavior as his hand hooks under your leg

first of all: yoongi is pretty strict about the limited pda in front of his fans because he knows a lot of them have jealous tendencies (he was the one to tell them they were cheating on him if they had partners after all)

second of all: you're not huge on it either, and he knows that full well

you're still in shock when he pulls away, blinking owlishly as the comments go positively wild

you clear your throat and lick your lips

you don't even glance at the comments flying in before rising off yoongi's lap and waltzing over to your shared bed

"well, i guess we're done here." you hint quite obviously

yoongi can't suppress his grin as he takes one more quick glance at the screen

as much as he loves his fans-

"i'll see you guys at the next concert. sleep well, everyone." he blows a brief kiss and fumbles to end the live before shutting off the camera and joining you in bed

♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        

it doesn't take the other members long to notice yoongi's chipper attitude the next day, his arms woven around your waist and his chin propped on your shoulder

you're in a relatively quiet part of LA, so as to not draw as much attention as they would in crowded areas

nowhere near so-fi stadium, that's for sure

"handsy today, yoongi-ah?" jin teases as he sets yoongi's coffee on the table, joining the rest of you in your little corner of the coffee shop

yoongi hums in agreement as his hands run up and down your sides, making you squirm

"min yoongi." you scold, swatting at his hands

"sorry. can't help it." he's not sorry in the least, settling his hands on your thighs as you swat at his hand once more

"am i going to have to sit in a different seat or can you be civil?" you turn around to face him with mock seriousness

"yes, ma'am." his roaming hands come to a stop on your hips and they stay there. you nod in approval

"get a room, won't you?" jimin teases, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly

"you guys are just jealous that this woman is dating me and not you." yoongi shrugs, feigning innocence

"mmm, we mustn't be so modest." you tone drips with sarcasm as you run your fingers casually through his orange locks

"i'm actually kind of glad she's dating you... you both scare me when you're together, so perfect match." jungkook teases from his seat

"i scare you, jungkook?" you tilt your head

somehow, the simplest of questions strikes a bit of fear in jungkook's system. he gulps

"... no?" he manages

hoseok bursts into laughter and hits him on the arm, "oh man, that was the most unconvincing "no" i've ever heard." he wipes his tears

"shut up, hyung!" jungkook whines, taking a cautious glance at you

you chuckle, "it's okay, jungkook. i get it a lot." you wink and the maknae's face turns a beet red color

"but you don't scare me." yoongi muses from below you

you raise an eyebrow, "oh yeah? weren't you the one 'yes ma'am'-ing me earlier?" your voice has dropped considerably, and yoongi gulps, similar to jungkook

"yes, ma'am."

want to read more? check out my masterlist 💜

how can i make your dreams come true? request something 🌹

have any questions? ask me here 💌

like what you read? leave a like 🤍, or better yet, reblog or comment any feedback you might have

[freindly-neighbourhood-anarchist]

☀︎︎-: 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 :-☀︎︎

Kimetsu no yaiba x reader

°•.《 characters 》.•°

Rengoku, Giyuu, Shinobu, Sanemi

Tw: Swearing because Sanemi is Sanemi

____________________________________________

I'm definitely gonna binge write this series after watching the movie, I literally cant stop thinking about it--

Send in as much requests as you want!! :))

I do fluff, different AU's, angst and NSFW(we'll see).

Keep in mind, I havent read the manga. I'm caught up to the train Arc and that's it, so try not to spoil anything by requesting characters that havent appeared yet lol

« `` •"𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐧��~"• ´´ »

☼︎ ☀︎︎ʀᴇɴ��ᴏᴋᴜ ᴋʏᴏᴜᴊᴜʀᴏᴜ☀︎︎ ☼︎

Holding hands is sort of a need for him-

He's huge with PDA and holding your small hand within his reassures him quite a bit. He never needs to ask to hold your hand, he just grips it whenever and wherever.

I feel like he'll sense when your nervous and be really perceptive, so he'd hold your hand to ground you in a way

It's highly effectve.

"Delicious!" Your energetic boyfriend chirped, eating his takoyaki with fervour and a bright smile.

You ate your own food from across him, shaking your head a little with a slight smile slanting onto your lips.

It's definitely been a long day, so winding down and eating with your amazing boyfriend is definitely a preferable way to end it.

He sort of sensed your stress as you came back from training, sweat sleek across your forehead. And thus, he ran a bath for you and then took you out for dinner to take your mind off of whatever was bothering you.

He's always had a keen intuition and was brilliant at reading emotions on others. It was a weird super power at this point. But he noticed how relaxed you were now that you were with him, it melted his heart.

His eyes flickered over your expression, his eyes soft with adoration and affection." This is certainly calming after a long day!" He exclaimed happily.

At his jolly aura, you nodded in agreement," Honestly... It's like you have some weird superpower to make me forget about whatever was annoying me. Kinda freaky." You shivered.

Letting out a hearty laugh, the man reached out, interlacing his long fingers with yours suddenly. The warmth of his skin sending goosebumps over your arms.

"I just know you too well! Nothing wrong or freaky about that!" His grin was filled with light.

Your fingers tightened around his, his warm skin seemed to be heating up your own body as well. Thank God, you were beginning to get cold anyways.

"Have I ever told you about how cute your hands are!" It was more of a statement than a question, pulling his hand and your hand closer to him so he could get a better glimpse at your soft hands." So tiny... So soft. It's like I'm being touched by an angel!"

"Geez, you're cheesy."

"You love it~!"

"... Fair point."

•«☔︎ 𝙜𝙞𝙮𝙪𝙪 𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙤𝙠𝙖 ☔︎»•

Bro I'm sorry, but I dont think he holds your hand much-

I feel like he thinks he doesnt need to show how much he loves you through actions, more so through blunt words.

But he will get the sudden urge to hold your hand every once in a while, so be prepared because he could get the jump on you at any point.

Doesnt like PDA that much, it makes him slightly uncomfortable because it's in public but I feel like he would get used to it later in your relationship.

Ocean-blue eyes stared at you hesitantly as you continued to speak about the new breathing technique you had learned.

Both you and Giyuu were walking peacefully through the garden you had grown over the years, the plants varying in different colours and sizes. They reminded him of you.

Your peaceful personality cued him to remember the petals of the flowers blowing gently in the breeze. Not to mention you smell very distinctly and sweet just like the flowers as well.

But as he walked with you in this haven, he felt pretty agitated and frustated. He hid it well with his usual deapan expressions, but he could feel the pit of the emotions growing bigger.

His hand twitched suddenly when the back of yours brushed against his, his cheeks tinting pink at the abrupt contact.

Gulping, he looked straight ahead with sharp eyes and a furrowed brow.

The atmosphere shifted.

And when you had stopped talking, he knew that you had noticed the harsh shift as well.

"Giyuu?... Are you feeling okay? You look like you're burning up." You questioned out of concern, a worried expression upon your face.

Shaking his head briefly, the ravenette continued to walk with his head staring straight ahead," I feel optimal. Why do you ask?" He was so obviously trying to change the subject.

You frowned a little at the stiff response and opened your mouth to respond but your boyfriend had beaten you to it.

"Let me h-... Hold your... Hand... Please." He uttered, looking down with red cheeks, an embarrassed scowl squirmed on his lips.

You were silent for a long while, making him wait nervously for your answer. What he wasn't expecting was the cute snort of laughter coming from you and grabbing his hand tightly within your own, your other hand wrapping around his forearm like it was a substitute teddy bear.

His cheeks heated up tenfold and he had to look away before you noticed.

"You're such a cutie. You don't need to ask to hold my hand you know?" You teased lightly, nudging him playfully by bumping your hip against his.

"I-it's embarrassing." He retorted.

"Whatever, cutie."

"No."

"Yes."

"Stop it."

꧁ꕥ 𝑲𝒐𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒖 𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒐𝒃𝒖 ꕥ꧂

She would sooo tease you for wanting to hold her hand-

Like, she would hold it obvi, but she'd tease you about it for a good 5 minutes before finally giving up lol

Flustering you is one of her favourite pastimes, it was what your relationship was built on top of in the first place. Teasing eachother was always a thing you guys did.

But Kocho takes teasing to a MAXIMUM.

It's like you guys are challenging eachother to a tease off and she just refuses to loose. She'd rather die.

Dramatic but true

What a fucking queen-

"Ara, ara~ what was that? You want to hold my hand?" The raven haired woman pressed her hand against her lips, raising a suggestive eyebrow at you." Oh~ How scandalous! You're saying we should do pre-martial hand holding? why, that's practically a crime!"

You deadpanned at your girlfriend's words," Holding your hand is a crime?..."

"Mmhm!"

"But we literally made-out yester-"

She smiled at you passive-aggressively," I'm afraid we can't hold hands until we're married! Too bad!" She sighed, pretending to seem devastated ," How could you suggest we do such a lewd thing? In public, no less! You're quite the little scoundrel, hmm?~"

Your deadpan only deepened," Well then... I guess I'll just have to marry you then, hm? So I can hold your hand for the rest of my life." You chimed out, a slight twinkle in your eye. At the sight of Kocho's cheeks tinting a bright red, you smirked in triumph." Oya~? What's that I see? Is that blush?" You poked her warm cheek affectionately," I think it iiiis~!"

Biting her lip, Kocho scoffed and rolled her eyes," Just because you won doesn't mean you-... Shut up." She huffed out, losing her composure.

" Aha! So I won." You grinned out," I think I deserve a prize for winning for like... the first time." You said that last part quickly.

" You're not getting a kiss, if that's what you're referring to!" She smiled up at you passive aggressively.

Now the win didn't even feel like a win.

I guess, Kocho will always win in the end.

You pouted at her, eyebrows furrowed," You're so petty...." You groaned out, before a cheeky grin crossed over your lips," How about letting me hold your hand instead?"

Kocho stared at your grin with an unimpressed look, before her eyes softened and a gentle smile spread onto her perfect lips." Wipe that cheeky grin off of your face and I might consider it."

A bright smile instantly spread onto your lips and you held out your hand expectantly for her to take it. Her radiant smile only widened and her hand settled into yours, her warm fingers closing over your own as if she was keeping them safe in her hold.

" Now you have to marry me." She stated simply," I want to hold your hand in mine for the rest of my life as well."

᯾༄𖦹.𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕘𝕦𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕚 .𖦹༄᯾

BRUUUUH THIS FUCKING MAN-

Ok, so hear me out lol-

I have read up on his character a tiny bit and bro he's such a fucking SOFTY like-

If you were to ask him to hold your hand he'd highkey have to process what you said for like a minute or two before finally agreeing to it lol

He has such a tough-guy exterior when on the inside he's actually really caring to those who are important to him.

Definitely one of those characters who seem like pricks but they like something cute like cats or something-

"Uhm... Sanemi?" You spoke up suddenly, interrupting the peaceful silence.

Your boyfriend broke out of his daze of appreciating your beauty and hummed to let you know that he was listening, picking up some of his uneaten rice with his chopsticks.

"Can... Can I h-hold your hand?"

He choked on the rice he was eating, coughing into his fist and thumping his other hand against his chest to try and get the rice that shot down the back of his throat to go down.

You went to get out of your chair to help him, concern etched onto your face, but he held a hand up to stop you. Instead, you simply passed your water to him, as of which he chugged greatfully.

When he had finally gained his composure, he held out a slightly trembling hand, his cheeks tinted red as he let out a gruff," yeah... Of course you can, idiot. You don't have to ask..."

Adoration bloomed in your chest at his words and you grabbed his outstretched hand, instantly interlocking your fingers with his. Absentmindedly, you ran your thumb up and down his hand comfortingly as you smiled like an idiot to yourself.

Ba-dump.

Sanemi's heart thumped in his chest at the look of love on your face, feeling his whole body heating up. The wind pillar was known for being ruthless, intimidating and quite frankly... A bit of an asshole.

But around you? He's a completely different person.

Between you and his little brother, he's always going to have a huge soft spot for you both.

So he'll always treat you well.

Squeezing your hand lovingly, he let a slight smirk curl onto his lips," You look like a dumbass smiling like that.... You must really like me, huh?" He tried to tease.

"I don't like you."

Arrows shot through his heart, his smirk dropping in an instant," Oi-!"

You giggled at his response," I love you."

The frown on his lips wobbled a little, threatening to break out into an idiotic smile. Clearing his throat, he looked away from you and pressed the back of his unoccupied hand against his mouth to hide the smile that threatened to appear.

"Oh..." He could only respond with," y-yeah... Same here."

"You're so socially inept."

"I'm damn not!!" He grumbled, eyebrows furrowing," I fucking love you too!! Is that better?"

You grinned childishly, bringing his hand up to your mouth and placing a light kiss to it," much better."

It's safe to say that this was the day he vowed to marry you.

[poppletonink]

Let It Snow Review

★★★☆☆ - 3 stars

On a Christmas Eve, Gracetown becomes blanketed in snow. As three stories come together to form one, a group of teenagers lives change indefinitely as romance forms in the most unlikely of places. Alongside romance blooming, a series of dramatic events sends them down festive paths they never would have anticipated ending up in.

The Jubilee Express by Maureen Johnson

★★★★★ - 5 stars

Jubilee Dougal was not expecting to spend Christmas in Gracetown with a family she didn't know. But when her parents got arrested; her boyfriend was being neglectful; her train broke down on the way to visit her grandparents; and she trekked in the snow to a Waffle House, she didn't have much choice. She wasn't expecting to fall in love with a total stranger either - but Christmas has an effect on people.

It took me a few pages but once I got into this one, I loved it.

Jubilee is awesome - who doesn't completely favour her over pretty much every character in this book. And Stuart is the sweetest man on earth.

Stuart's mam kind of freaked me out a bit, but she was nice so it was fine.

And the way that Stuart and Jubilee bonded over having terrible exes was cute.

Also, on that note, I hate Noah with all of my guts - he found out his girlfriend had several near death experiences within a few hours and he didn't even care at all!? What's wrong with this guy!?

But, overall, I got really invested in this one - it was the cute, cozy Christmas romance I was looking for. I loved it.

A Cheertastic Christmas Miracle by John Green

★★★★☆ - 4 stars

When Tobin and his friends get a call from Keun at the Waffle House, they set out on a trek to join him there - if only for the cheerleaders. But getting there isn't so easy, with a broken down car; miles of travel all if which is covered in snow; and two twins threatening their every move. Along the way, Tobin discovers maybe he isn't going for the cheerleaders after all - maybe he is simply in love with his best friend: the Duke (Angie).

The Duke is definitely my favourite character - she was created well, she wasn't very feminine but didn't judge other girls for being feminine.

Also I love the pop cultures references - Twister is one of the best board games around and James Bond is iconic.

I think it was kind of slow paced, but it was still good. My main issue is the sexist interpretation of cheerleaders - sexualising the concept of cheerleaders themselves, pom poms and short skirts. It was addressed, but it still made me uncomfortable.

I thought Tobin and the Duke were super cute together. However, it took me a while to get there.

Overall, I liked it quite a lot - this is the second thing I've read by John Green and his writing style is still something I'm getting used to but I do like it.

The Patron Saint of Pigs by Lauren Myracle

★★☆☆☆ - 2 stars

The fate of a singular teacup pig falls into the hands of a dramatic teenage girl, Addie. Whilst trying to keep the pig safe, she has to navigate her broken relationship with her boyfriend Jed, after having cheated on him by kissing someone else.

I didn't really like the writing style - frankly, I found it boring after the first page. Also, can we talk about the writing is very Eleanor and Park esque - even down to the racism ("He seemed so exotic" almost killed me).

Addie is really annoying too - she totally doesn't deserve Jeb.

Plus, this story argues that it's okay to cheat on someone as long as you apologize profusely in an attempt to salvage the relationship.

But, I have to admit I mostly finished this one for the teacup pig - and to see how the stories intertwined in the end.

[dreamedofyou]

Before today I was fully on the gramblack train with my clown theories and headcanons and all. Despite the show clearly screaming "Gram likes Eugene" at us I really deluded myself into believing it was all just a misdirect and that it can all be explained away by Gram just projecting onto Eugene, but uh... I don't know what to tell you other than today's episode being pretty clear that Gram does indeed like Eugene, as simple as that. With how deranged I've been over the prospect of gramblack, I expected to feel really disappointed about the show ruining that potential (like I fully expected to be so annoyed by the wasted potential that I wouldn't even come on here to talk about it) but the opposite happened? I'm kind of... glad that gramblack won't be canon now??

And it's honestly because of the way they made me dislike Black this episode. I go into it more here but at this point I just struggle to see why anyone would fall for someone like Black (I mean, Eugene evidently did but I'm seriously going "girl, how??" at her tbh) and I think both Gram and Eugene deserve better, quite frankly. Maybe the series will show us a different side to Black in a future episode and I'll get it then but I'm not really holding my breath. Tbh as things in canon stand now I'd prefer for all 3 characters to stay single. I really liked Eugene rejecting Gram (and telling him she simply wants to be alone at the moment) because combined with her "I don't want to be just some chick chasing after a guy. It's pathetic" line, they're really portraying her as someone that knows her self-worth as an individual, not as "someone's girlfriend" and as a woman whose life doesn't revolve around constantly having a boyfriend (which is so often how female characters are portrayed on tv, especially in BLs). I love that Not Me is going against that (at least for now) and I feel like her getting with Gram would take away from that message. Though I do feel like they'll have her think things through and by the end of the series she'll decide to get together with Gram after all, but I hope not. Black as we know him now is just not capable of having a healthy relationship, period. We've heard from Eugene how he treated her at times. I think I've been guilty of ignoring the red flags whenever she talked about his negative traits because I interpreted them differently but like... there really were a lot of red flags with him.

That being said, there are still things that confuse the hell out of me when it comes to Gram and Black's relationship. For example, how everyone kept mentioning they were together literally "all the time," how touchy Gram was with "Black" from the get-go as if that was normal for them, how he told "Black" to just crash at his place as if that was normal for them too... All of those things just aren't clicking with the Black we got to meet in the flesh for the first time. I find it hard to imagine THIS Black would ever allow himself to get that close to another person. I imagine anyone would know getting too touchy-feely with him would get shoved away in annoyance. And yet Gram's first interaction with "Black" on the show was him draping his arm over "Black's" shoulders with a huge smile on his face. I imagine no one would dare ask Black to bandage his hand because they knew if they did so, they'd get a death stare and him telling them he can bandage it himself and that they should mind their own business. And yet Gram asked (and did it). So this must have been normal for them but it's so hard for me to imagine Black letting it happen, especially since rn he doesn't seem to give two shits about the gang, Gram included. Idk, it's all just a bit confusing to me?? Like I'm hoping we get an explanation but idk if we will and it'll keep bothering me for the rest of my existence (or at least until I move on).

[literatigifs]

anonymous asked: I've seen other people say that people are only team Jess because they like his development outside of his relationship with Rory and that they often forget how he actually was when he was with her. What do you think?

I know that it sounds like a good argument but most of the time when I do see people say this, it's just used for the sake of belittling anyone's interest or preference in Jess when it comes to Rory's boyfriends.

I don't think it's bad for people to admit that they like Jess as a potential romance for Rory after his development because frankly their relationship didn't get the best showing during season 3 (we got more conflicts that were more or less resolved and less good moments between them when they dated for about 8 months). But whenever people want to dismiss fans' general preference for Jess, it's often in the form of "well we didn't see them ever in a relationship again unlike Logan so frankly for all we know Jess might still be an asshole boyfriend". And I'm always just, so baffled by the complete lack of logic in this response because even when Logan apparently "developed", he still broke up with Rory at her own graduation from Yale only because he didn't see the point in salvaging their relationship unless she married him. Jess's main issues in his relationship with Rory were directly tied to his issues as a person; he couldn't communicate well with anyone, not just with Rory, he suffered from low self-esteem and he was a teenager who worked a job full-time because he frankly didn't see the point in attending classes if he was never gonna amount to anything anyway. By the time we see Jess in season 6, he has practically done the opposite of all of those things, and even when Rory kisses him while being with someone else in 6x18, he handles it with so much more grace than he ever could have when he was 17. So I think it's safe to say that Jess is well past his previous issues as a potential boyfriend to Rory. This is why some people consider him to be a better future match for her than any of her other boyfriends because not only did we see Rory "try" again with Dean/Logan, and both cases being an affair where she was delegated to the other woman, no less, but both of those cases ended with a finality to them.

Also, I'm well aware of people always wanting to clutch their pearls at this but, Jess really wasn't as bad of a boyfriend as everyone loves to paint him off to be. And even if the affair with Dean/Logan happened outside of their "official" relationships with Rory, that still doesn't excuse that they happened and both guys seemed to be fine with her being in that position, despite seemingly loving her so much.

PS but I also never understand these same people being all "oh but he still deserves better than having to pine for her in the revival", despite shedding tears over Logan apparently being hung up on his college girlfriend from like 10 years ago.... like you guys know that you can pick a proper lane for this, right?

[mypimpademia]

Worth It.

Shinso x reader

TW: Swearing, reader steals a man, pure bad bitchery

Note: this concept has been in my head for literal MONTHS and now I'm finally writing it bc i had no idea how to before (i still dont know how to write it as I'm writing this, I'm bouta wing it like a mf)

I made Intelli the mean girl for this fic bc she a bitch fr

A college AU but its hardly relevant + a lil smau

Towards the end of writing this, I started hating it. I'm so sorry😭

I recommend this song too bc this is where the idea for this fic came from:

This was getting annoying to watch.

How long was Hitoshi planning to stay miserable with that girl?

Intelli and Hitoshi have been dating for awhile now. You had honestly never liked her, but you just barely tolerated her for Hitoshi. But only a few weeks into their relationship, things went to shit.

Intelli became overly controlling over him, and even tried to force him to stop being friends with you, and some other people. You, being his best friend, told him to break up with her.

Of course, Hitoshi agreed that it'd be best to do that. But not even a few hours after talking to him about it, he came back to say it didn't go as planned.

Intelli was holding blackmail over Hitoshi's head, and posed a huge threat to his dreams of becoming a hero. Most of what she said she'd expose was no where near true, but with her intellect she could easily make people believe it.

But frankly, as their relationship went on, the sight of even a strand of her hair made you want to either puke or fight her.

"Toshi~" Intelli cooed, coming up behind Hitoshi and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Hitoshi visibly cringed, but tried to hide it as best as he could.

"Hey, babe." He boredly muttered, doing a terrible job at faking any enthusiasm.

Unlike your best friend, you made no effort to hide the disgust you held for her sheer presence.

"Y/n..." Intelli muttered, her tone dripping with distaste for you, making you scoff. "Mind if I steal Toshi for a bit? No? Thanks-" She attempted to drag Hitoshi away by the arm, but you placed a firm hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"I do mind actually, we were in the middle of a conversation before you interrupted." You told her. She chuckled, before tugging on Hitoshi's arm more.

"Yes, but he's my boyfriend-" She attempted to give reason for her to take him away, before even Hitoshi stopped her.

"I've got a project I need Y/n to help me on, I can stop by your dorm later though?" Hitoshi suggested, lying through his teeth.

Intelli's eyebrow twitched, but she gave in, letting go of his arm. "Bye, Toshi." She said, kissing Hitoshi's cheek and looking you up and down, before walking off.

"Sometimes, I can't tell if she's just plain a bitch or if she's secretly a dumbass." You sighed. "Maybe she's a little bit of both..." Hitoshi chuckled, making you laugh with him.

"You really need to find someone new." You told him, shaking your head. "I know, but I'd rather not chance losing my dream career." He groaned.

"True... Whats your type anyways? I know its not Intell anymore, she's probably traumatized you." You giggled.

"She did, but I think my type is someone who can really understands me, and someone I can have fun with." Hitoshi said.

"Like a best friend?" You questioned him. "Yeah, exactly like a best friend. That'd be my perfect version of a s/o." He replied, expression growing soft.

Since Intelli and Hitoshi's relationship had gone down hill, you've been there for him more than ever. It eventually lead to this unspoken romance that constantly roamed between the two of you.

But because of Intelli, neither of you pursued it, for the wellbeing of Hitoshi.

"Well, if I were you, I'd find someone and just make sure the bitch doesn't find out." You told him. But if you were being honest, it was more like a suggestion, because he really did need, and deserve someone other than Intelli.

"Like cheating?" He gawked. You were both thinking the same thing— Intelli would likely find out. But it was better than simply being stuck with her, so you nodded.

"Well, I'd at least make sure the other person knows. But it'd be worth it."

'I'm worth it.' You thought.

You sighed, looking down at your phone, the time on your phone displayed.

"Shit, I've gotta get to class, we've got a guest lecturing us and my professor will tear me a new one if I miss it." You told him, stuffing your phone into your pocket.

"See you later?" Hitoshi asked you.

You were about to say something about how he told Intelli they'd hang out later, but decided against it.

"Yeah."

◇◇◇◇◇◇

You sighed, feeling your tired feet throb as you walked down the hall to Hitoshi's dorm. Taking one of your backpack straps off your shoulder, you began rummaging around the pocket where you usually kept the spare key to Hitoshi's dorm.

You blinked, as you weren't able to find the key in the small pocket. You began searching your entire bag in the middle of the hallway, taking nearly everything out.

"Shit." You mumbled, thinking you had lost it.

Then you remembered, 'Thats right, I was in a rush this morning. Its on my desk.' You thought to yourself.

Like hell you were going all the way back there though.

You placed your items back into their bags, then pulled out your phone to text Hitoshi.

You hummed, rocking back and forth on your heels as you waited for the door to be opened.

A moment later, you heard the lock click, and the door swung open.

Hitoshi looked you up and down before smiling. Then looked both ways of the hall, before tugging you into the room and shutting the door.

"Why are you treating me like a side piece or something?" You questioned him.

He hummed in confusion as he locked the door.

"Does it feel like that? Sorry." He apologized. "What did she do this time?" You asked, referring to Intelli, as she wash the only person the put Hitoshi this on edge.

"She said if we were doing anything other than a project we'd break up, and you know what that means." He told you, shaking his head.

You hummed, and pulled out your phone.

"What are you doing?" He asked, peering over your shoulder.

"You'll see." You blunty told him.

You sent your message, and tossed your phone onto his bed.

You grabbed onto Hitoshi's collar, tugging him towards you so he was looking you in the eyes, making his breath hitch as his face tinted red.

"You're crazy if you think I'd get you snitched on." You playfully consoled.

"What did you do?" He questioned again, watching you flop down on his bed as you kicked off your shoes.

"I texted Monoma and Momo to post about a project on private snap that only has Intelli on it so that it'll be more believable." You told him.

Hitoshis eyes went wide, as he mentally questioned how you came up with that so fast.

You patted the space next to you, beckoning him to sit with you.

He sat down, shaking his head and laughing.

You and Hitoshi talked for hours and hours, but it each flew by. When you finally checked the time, you barely had enough time left before dorm visiting hours were over.

"What? Already?" Hitoshi gaped, as he watched you sling your backpack over your shoulder.

"Mhm." You hummed.

He groaned, clearly not wanting you to leave, but sat up anyways so he could come see you out.

Hitoshi unlocked the door for you, but upon opening the door, you were both met with an unwanted sight.

"Hey Toshi!" Intelli greeted, completely passing over you even though she saw you.

"H-hey, Intelli." Hitoshi spurred, trying to keep composure.

"I came to help on the project. Even Momo was complaining, so I thought you could use some help." She offered, clearly not convinced that there was actually a project.

But like you said, you weren't going to let him get caught.

"No, we finished it." You told her bluntly, folding your arms across your chest.

But clearly, Intelli didn't plan on letting up either.

"Well then, I could proof read the written portion." She insisted, taking a step towards you.

"We already did that already."

"Well I'm sure there are some mistakes."

"We triple checked."

Hitoshi looked back and forth between the two of you, silently preparing himself to break up a fight.

"You must not get what I mean—" Intelli straightened her posture more than it already was, and leaned towards you. "There's probably mistakes because it was you helping him." She mocked.

Hitoshi already had a hand reaching for your waist, ready to pull you back in a situation where you lunge at Intelli.

"You wanna talk about mistakes? How about we start with you, bit-" Before you could take a single step towards her, you were being pulled back by your waist.

"Watch your dog, Hitoshi." Intelli retorted.

Damn, was she lucky Hitoshi could hold you back.

"At least I bite, unlike some people." You shot back. She narrowed her eyes, leaning towards you again.

"Y'know Y/n, you're not as good as everyone thinks you are. Everyone thinks you're so great, and nice, but I know how you really are." She said.

"You only think that because everyone's not you. Its no goddamn wonder your blackmail folder is thicker than you." You hissed.

Intelli, clearly flustered that you even knew about her blackmail folder, stood straight again. She crossed her arms and cleared her throat slightly.

"You think youre so much better than me. A better person, a better best friend, you probably think you'd make a better girlfriend too, right?" She asked you.

"Of course I do, who the hell wouldn't?" You chuckled.

You felt Hitoshi's grip on your waist loosen. Either he was getting just as angry and was going to let you fight her, or he thought it the tension was thawing.

"Alright, since you're so much better than me, show me." Intelli insisted.

You smirked. "Alright, you asked for it."

Slipping out of Hitoshi's grip, you turned to face him.

His brows raised in surprise and confusion. And next thing he knew, you had him by the collar for the second time today.

But this time, your lips were pressed against his.

It took him a moment to process, but soon, he melted into it. Moving in sync with you, he placed his hands back on your waist.

As much as you wanted to continue, you still had to tell that bitch off.

Pulling away from Hitoshi, wiping away the string of saliva that connected your mouths, you turned back to Intelli.

You walked straight up to her, and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"Toshi doesn't react like that when you kiss him, does he?" You hummed, hearing Intelli audibly gulp.

"Like you said, I'm a better person, a better best friend, and a better girlfriend." You repeated her words from earlier.

"I wouldn't lie to him, expose him, whether what he did was true or false, and i wouldn't hold him back from doing what he wants." You taunted.

"And the thing is—" You leaned in, next to her ear.

"I dont think it, I know it."

"I'm perfect for him." You whispered to her.

Intelli nearly toppled over in defeat, leaning against the nearest wall to support her body.

"Anyways, see you tomorrow, Toshi." You mused, before walking away.

◇◇◇◇◇◇

The next day, you met up with Hitoshi in your free time like usual.

You were aimlessly walking around campus, talking about random topics, laughing as you watched random people do stupid things, and just having fun.

Except now, you were hand in hand, and the air around the two of you seemed lighter. And the look of adoration you and Hitoshi shared was more evident.

But in the middle of it, of course, something had to happen.

Intelli had stopped you both in your tracks, her brainless groupies behind her.

"Did you know everyone is talking about you, Hitoshi? And with all the things they're saying... you might not be able to recover from it." She said snarkily.

"Not too worried about it actually." Hitoshi admitted, a slightly bored tone to his voice.

"Tch, well you should be. So tell me, was she worth it, Hitoshi?" She inclined.

Hitoshi looked over at you, a grin spreading across his face.

"Hell yeah."

[angelsswirl]

Dysfunctional

Chapter 2: Alright

Notes: y/s/n means your and lisa's ship name

Rating: T

"Hold up, let me get my mind right. Let me get my mind right. You know everything is alright. You know everything is all"

You had never hated anyone more than you hated Lalisa Manoban. Never. You swear.

You didn't even know it was possible to dislike someone as much as you disliked her.

Worst of all? She knew it. She knew you didn't like her. You think she found it amusing. You're absolutely sure she sees you as more of an obligation than a partner. And that just made you even more furious with her.

She was cocky and loud and an asshole and infuriatingly attractive.

...Where the hell did that last one come from?!

Nevertheless, you couldn't stand Lisa and you were going to have to spend a lot of time with her within the next coming months.

You must have killed someone very important in a past life to deserve this.

•°•°•

"Lisa and Y/N were seen leaving a sophisticated coffee shop in downtown L.A. Saturday. This is the first time they have been spotted together. Has pop's newest darling finally tamed our ever allusive hip hop stallion? We certainly hope so. #y/s/n"

And so it begins, Lisa thought as she flipped the channel on her flatscreen. This entire situation was rather annoying but it wasultimately just another hurdle she had to jump over in the path to success. She supposed it could be worse.

"Right? So, what's all this then?"

Lisa looked over to her friend with a raised eyebrow, "Since when are you british?"

Jennie frowned, "You know that avoiding the question thing you do won't work on me. Answer the question."

Lisa rolled her eyes and sighed, "Well. Apparently, I have a girlfriend now."

"You? A girlfriend? That's the funniest thing I've heard all month."

"Interesting. I didn't know I was a comedian." Lisa spoke sarcastically.

"Neither did I."

Lisa glared at Jennie harshly.

"Well! What am I supposed to think?! You don't date. You specifically make it a point not to date anyone and suddenly you have a girlfriend? Sorry if I had to laugh!"

Lisa eyed Jennie oddly, "Calm down. We're not actually dating. It's just PR."

"And you agreed?"

"Didn't have much of a choice. Just another job." Lisa shrugged noncommittally.

"What about the chick? She got a twin sister?"

"She's cool. She hates me. It's cute."

"Ugh. I just love it when my fake girlfriend hates me. It really makes everything so believable! We fool absolutely everyone!"

"Are you implying that she shouldn't hate me and I should fix that?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"And why does it matter? At least this way I don't have to worry about her getting attached. Or being the subject of my songs for the next three albums." Lisa rolled her eyes again, crossing her arms over her chest in a deliberately dramatic fashion.

Jennie sighed. She patted Lisa's jean-clad thigh somewhat placatingly. She had never been one to be particularly adept to her friend's feelings. That was more Jisoo's and Rosé's forte. But they, pointedly weren't here at the moment.

"It matters because, like you said, it's a job. And you don't do your jobs half-assed. So why start now?"

Lisa supposed Jennie possessed some semblance of a point.

"So now what? You want me to make her fall in love with me?"

Jennie chuckled, "Well, I was thinking more like fall in like with you. And find out if she has a twin sister!"

Lisa hummed, "I'll see what I can do. No promises, though. She seems pretty dead set on hating me."

"You never know until you try."

"Come on. She's not that bad. You're just mad that you didn't get a say in any of this." Lucas said to you with a frown marring his generally attractive features.

His boyfriend, Ten, nodded along in agreement. His shaggy black hair falling into his eyes and causing him to blink rapidly.

"No. Those are mutually exclusive. She is that bad and I am mad about this being sprung on me, but those two facts have nothing to do with each other." You insisted with a matter-of-fact head nod.

Lucas rubbed the non-existent wrinkles between his brows. His sigh reverberated throughout his entire body. He then turned his head toward his boyfriend for help.

Ten shrugged before speaking, his lips pursed to keep his frown off his face. He knew you wouldn't respond well to scolding so he attempted not to do it to the best if his ability.

"Y/N. You knew when your career started that you weren't always going to have control over everything. That's not how being a celebrity works. Especially, this early on in your career. Take Lucas and I for example. In a perfect world we would be out of the closet and letting the world know that we love each other. But we can't. Yet. It's not safe for us personally and business-wise."

Your arms slowly fell from their crossed position over your chest. They landed at your sides defeatedly. You understood Ten's point. You really did, but it was still a hard pill to swallow that you didn't exactly have the control over your life that you wanted.

"Fine. I'll be less hostile. Get to know her or whatever. But that doesn't mean that I'm okay with this situation now. Because, I'm not. I think it's stupid and invasive quite frankly."

"You think that now, but wait until you see the results. Your fan count will start to grow, hers will too. I wouldn't go as far as to say your success is riding on this, but it definitely is a very important factor."

You squeezed your eyes shut as forcefully as you could. You continued to learn the hard way that giving up control was never easy but always inevitable for your chosen career path.

But then again, you'd argue that you didn't choose this career, but it chose you.

"Alright. Let's see where this goes."

"Also. I still hate her."

"We were so close."

[maximumsunshine]

So the comment in question is from my wife's not exactly boyfriend that she lives with in Seattle. I thought Bob liked me just fine. Up until 24 hours ago I myself liked Bob just fine. So I really wasn't expecting this. I showed it to Robin. I screen capped it. I deleted the comment. I blocked both Bob and his wife Amanda.

The thing is this comment is from someone who doesn't know all the facts and is misinformed in a key area. I'm not going to hash it all out now but the part about surrendering him without telling them he is dangerous taking too long is grossly misinformed.

But Robin? Robin refuses to even further explain the situation to Bob, much less defend me at all, because she has to live with him and doesn't want him to be angry at her. I guess my feelings towards her no longer matter.

Which is good because I've been struggling to respect her for awhile now. She was making some efforts to better herself so I applied cautious respect for that. But fuck it. It's not even a me verses Bob thing. But if she's going to let Bob assume the worst of me based off of misinformation because she doesn't want him upset with her, then that's a her problem.

The thing is. This kind of sums up Bob's values. He will always choose the life of any dog ever over the safety of even his not exactly girlfriend's children. He will choose even the most random dog on the street over even the humans directly in his life. Robin herself isn't as important as Ziggy the dog he's never even met and has only vaguely heard about. So I sort of feel bad for Robin that she has to go home to that with that clear as day knowledge that she only marginally matters in comparison to dogs. But well, she made her bed in his home so she's going to have to lie in it. She had Columbus options when I asked her to move out.

Here in a week or two she's going to learn in entertaining ways how ride or die my friends (one in particular but they are all of them feral) and she'll have to live with the knowledge that Bob, would never for her. I'm honestly not sure any of her friends would. How sad for her, really. But well, that's not my problem. I earned my friends' love by being ride or die for them in return.

Frankly, Robin and Bob deserve each other and I'm all but washing my hands of them both. Bob is blocked for good. His wife has exactly one way to reach me should something happen to the father of my children. Robin I will keep the peace with because life is less stupid when we can get along and we do have children together and an informal child support agreement. Yeah a lawyer and divorce would make things concrete but fuck that's a lot of money and a lot of headache and my only available pain med ever again is tylenol. No it's easier to keep the peace and some 2,400 miles between us. I am done trying to maintain a friendship though.

So yeah. I'm angry. But in the end, I mostly feel pity for Robin. But honestly I've been trying for decades to get her into therapy. She had every opportunity to fix her shit. She still chose someone like Bob over someone like me. (OK maybe this is a little me verses Bob.) And that's a her problem because Bob's love has harsh limits and my love has no bounds, so long as you aren't a cunt. I'm fucking fabulous. She is so scared of making him mad she won't even correct misinformation.

I think if I were asked to sum up the last 6 weeks with just 3 images, I'd chose these 3.

Like I realize these images leave out the bits about me almost dying from cancer, my 9yo being on suicide watch, and me leaving a cult, but nevertheless this is my reward for 3 months worth of efforts.

[everydaychurch]

Beauty from Ashes (Part 2) by Warren. Read pt 1 first

Before I left Detroit the Lord spoke something to me. I was sitting in my pick-up truck waiting to go into my soon to be ending job (Yes God does have a way of speaking to us in ways only we can understand). As I  was offering my prayers to start my work day I heard, in the depths my heart  “Warren, I will restore to you the woman of your youth”. Honestly I was disappointed. I wanted my marriage back. I know now that wasn’t going to happen. I also wondered who this girl could possibly be and questioned if I was just hearing voices. Maybe I was crazy. So after I came home to Seattle, back now for months, with those disastrous dating attempts that resulted in my swearing off dating behind me, I get a text from an old high school girlfriend I friended on Facebook. We talk on online for several months. Since later she had a trip coming up to Seattle from Spokane on vacation I agreed to meet her for coffee. I had sworn off dating and had no intention of a relationship with anyone. Starting any romance other than being friendly was off limits at this point. I had been spending most of my time working on myself and focusing on my relationship with God. A good friend was also walking with me as a helpful counselor and support partner.

As I walked to the meeting place agreed upon (Starbucks) I wasn't the least bit nervous to see my old high school girlfriend Julie. My main goal was to hopefully apologize for being such a bad high school boyfriend. Then out of nowhere the same voice from the year before saying the woman of my youth would be restored to me spoke again. As I walked up to the her table, still maybe 40 feet away, the voice spoke to me again asking  “Can you be married to Julie the rest of your life?”.

 I was a little freaked out. 

However, the presence of God was with us as we caught up on life and we could sense it. The next few days were wonderful as we met again the following Sunday.

Did I mention that when God asked me that question while approaching Julie at Starbucks my first reaction without hesitation was “yes”? 

It was obvious. We dated for a year (300 miles away from each other). We have been married for 4 years. God did promise to renew. Not the way I expected of course but I know everyday of my life Julie is a direct gift from God. He had a plan before I did ( I didn’t have a plan) Julie is by no means my salvation but reuniting with Julie further helped change my perspective on how I see God. This was supernatural as far as I was concerned. Julie is a widow. I don’t think she ever anticipated marriage again so late in life either but I know God is renewing her too and changing her view on the nature and goodness of God as well. 

I have been blessed through work as well. I have gone from $17 an hour to a financial figure I could never remotely anticipated. I have been able to take good care of Julie.She has health concerns and does not work. I can pay the bills and have a nice home and car. I am certainly grateful at that alone;  BUT God was not done yet. 

I was able to share 2 years with my step-daughter Ellie. She is in college now and back in Spokane. I think I did a pretty good job helping Ellie get ready for adult life. I didn’t have to do much. She is very mature and has a strong faith in Jesus. I can honestly say I love her. I am still not, nor was I perfect, but I like to think I didn’t screw it up and am a positive influence. I have incredible in-laws as well. I love them and they love me too. That is such a gift.

I also have a much better relationship with my kids and grand kids. Ministry and church life were rough on them and I didn’t do a very good job of protecting them from the time obligations my position supposedly required. I failed to nurture. I wasn’t giving to them with the attention they needed and deserved. There seems to be a running story of “PK’s” or Pastor’s Kids in culture today as if its a funny joke that the pastor’s children are the trouble makers or the ones that grow up to be the most anti-church or anti-god humans. There is truth in that, but its not humorous. Its a tragedy. You can pass blame on church culture for this, but the reality is that it has nothing to do with church culture. The buck stops with the dad. I was ultimately responsible.

I would like to believe I am a much better dad today because of what I have been through and that my deeper, more accurate view of God has taught me how to love them and treat them with the dignity they deserve and as the wonderful adults they are. If I knew then what I know now I don’t think I would have let my church position take priority. Insecurity, fear, and a mentality of works may have possibly ruined the ability of my children to understand  the truth of God. My prayers are always for them to feel loved and know love from God and for them to truly know Him. Only God can do this and I know God can do this.

My daughters are so precious to me. Not a possession, but unique individuals who have their own purposes, talents, strengths and weaknesses, They are all smart, artistic, passionate for justice, good moms, and hard workers.

Another big surprise of God’s restoration is what happened in November of 2017. We had moved a few miles away from my old church where I was once on staff and where Julie and I  lived across the street previously when we were newlyweds. Julie, Ellie, and myself were looking for and trying churches in our new city. Nothing was sticking. Nothing felt right.

I believe when you find the right church you know it. It will be clear and peaceful. Let me backtrack the story a bit. When I first came home to Seattle in 2013 I ran into my former Senior Pastor’s wife Mary in Safeway. I explained to her how I was divorced now. I used to feel I had to explain this whenever I ran into anyone who knew me before when married the first time. That’s a story in its own right. I rarely even think about having to justify this to anyone anymore. Mary was full of Grace and urged me to come talk with her husband. I thought. “No way is that going to happen”. It didn’t end the way I would have preferred while on staff at this church. Many of the challenges I faced in my role there  were magnified by my lack of maturity and my misunderstanding of the true heart of God. My faith neurosis blemished the good things that were accomplished under my ministry . Like a house on fire I surely never wanted to enter that building again, especially after a divorce from a spouse who was once also on staff there. I am sure my pride had a lot to do with that. Pride fueled by shame.

God can be funny sometimes. He does the unexpected.

Jump back ahead 2 years as Julie, Ellie, and I are church surfing with no success. A persistent voice starts speaking to my heart saying “go talk to Steve” (the pastor). I hear this over, and over, and over again. It doesn’t stop until I set up the eventual appointment. I had a boss once who had a motto when ever there was silence between two people that went like this “Just have a conversation”  We were going to have a conversation. I had no clue what the result would be.

Gracefully in the two hour meeting that followed with Steve, Mary, Julie, and I an amazing occurrence of healing took place. Love broke out. We were invited to come back. To be restored. To be protected. We began attending Northwest Church right away and still attend to this day. I am part of the Worship Counsel, teach guitar, and play guitar on the worship team. I never thought in a million years something like this would ever happen. 13 years had passed since I was a staff member there. It was like a son returning home to his family after a long journey. Steve is retired now and change is in process but I am excited for what the future holds. More opportunities and restoration continues that quite frankly blows my mind.  

I was unexpectedly asked to be a part of a team that traveled in May 2019 to Nashville to serve in music worship for the Chaplains portion of the Foursquare Church’s National Convention. Wow. I didn’t plot, plan, or ask for any of that but the door opened. Julie went with me. More evidence of the wonderful nature of Jesus in action. Quite a contrast of my former false beliefs.God was pouring out His love beyond expectations and I knew it.

I had been to National conventions in many years past. I always felt so inadequate when I did. I recall feeling that if people really knew me they would certainly challenge my attendance. So I would play the pride game. Espouse my position of course since I served at a large church. This was my off-based, ugly attempt to justify myself. This gathering was certainly different. I just felt blessed for the opportunity and gave what I had to offer. It was very freeing. No stress at all. A National Convention doesn't justify your position with God, Jesus justifies your position with God.  

God has certainly proven over and over again, through all the difficulty I have endured who He is. How He loves people. How He loves me. When that light bulb finally went on for me my perspective on everything changed. How I view God now changed how I see myself and how I see the rest of the world around me. I no longer wrestle with the mind games of “if” God loves me or not. I am secure in knowing that He does love me deeply and its much easier to respond to His love when that is etched on your heart.

I am not suggesting a different gospel than what the bible clearly teaches. We are still sinners saved by grace. Jesus is our savior and Lord and He is the only way to reconciliation. We must acknowledge our sin and need for redemption. We must know Him and know that He laid down His life on the cross for our sin. His words are clearly written; “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” John 14;6. 

However let me end with this; He is a relational God. Slow to anger and full of grace. He wants all to know Him and follow Him. He wants to be the honored centerpiece in all our lives. He knows all our issues. He is patient. He sees you right where you are. He knows how to untangle false assumptions of who, and how He is. He wants us to love others in the same way; but we have to walk out our lives with Him to the fullest so we can do that. To love others as naturally as breathing. 

The Gift of Jesus Christ is above all the entanglements, sin, and struggles we have gotten ourselves into. He is our hope, our joy, our healer, our restorer, and our re-newer and so much more

Peace

[thefloatingpoem]

I don't want to be disrespectful, but I don't understand your issue with sherlock and "queerbaiting." I'm all for representation in media, however, realistically not everyone is gay. John has said multiple times in the show that he isn't gay, and he was married to a woman. Two men are allowed to be close friends without having to satisfy a tumblr-worthy homoerotic fantasy. As I said, I fully support representation, but just because two characters aren't gay for each other doesn't make a show bad

There are many things I’d like to unpack in your ask, nonny.

It’s difficult to know where to begin. I’ll start by saying I’m glad you agree that queer representation is important. So let’s start there, with the textual representation of queer people in Sherlock.

The characters who are textually queer in Sherlock include: 

-Moriarty (confirmed most recently in TFP when he jokes about his bodyguard having ‘more stamina, but is less caring in the afterglow’), -Irene Adler (established as gay during the Battersea scene with John, in which to his assertion that he’s not gay, she replies, “well I am. Look at us both.” More on John later. She also nonconsensually drugs and whips Sherlock, which I think is extremely out of character for a professional in the kink community) -Culverton Smith (who has an honest to god hard on when he’s suffocating Sherlock and breathes his fear of death in and says in the most rapturous voice, “lovely”), -Eurus, (who suggests that the victim of her brutal rape could have been a man or a woman and she wouldn’t have noticed)-and to some extent Magnussen (who creepily kisses Sherlock’s hands, among other weird bodily power things he does, like flicking John’s face).

Perhaps you’ve noticed that this is a list of villains, all of whom are queer coded, and most of whom to some extent have the hots for Sherlock and violate Sherlock’s bodily autonomy when he is otherwise incapacitated (other than Eurus, because equating queerness with incest would be a little much even for this show).

So for our queer representation on this show we get 6, count em, 6 queer monsters, 6 queer psychopaths.

Forgive me if I’m less than thrilled about this.

BUT I was willing to overlook this, I was willing to forgive this, because to my view, the plot was inching forward towards a realistic portrayal of queer love—a nuanced and hard won happy ending, a love narrative that would speak to the complexities of human nature and queer identity.

Let’s turn to that question for a while. Queerness does not exist in a vacuum. It exists within a highly oppressive heteronormative framework. And so when you tell me, John has said many times that he isn’t gay, I say unto you: so did I.

My only way of surviving a homophobic environment was to swallow whole the lie that I was straight, to try as hard as I could to believe I was straight. This is compulsory heterosexuality. The result of this doublethink was that I had no interest in romance or sex. But I publically feigned interest in men for many years. I worked hard to convince myself that I was straight and normative. I was trapped deep in a subconscious closet. We often talk about the closet being something that we know we’re in and we want to be out of it. But I tell you, I honest to god thought I was straight. I thought I would marry a man and have children and live in the suburbs. As it turns out, none of those things have happened, thank god. But I spent many years of my life telling people I wasn’t gay.

By the way re: John and his marriage to a woman, being married to someone of the opposite sex has virtually nothing to do with whether you’re gay or not in a world where visible gayness is met with violence, death threats (my gf has literally been chased with a knife), rape threats (this has happened at least three times that I can think of off the top of my head), judgment, discrimination, and hate. Also, many people, like a younger version of myself once did, believe that they are straight and do their best to act accordingly, including marrying someone and finding out later that they were wrong in doing so. All this being said, John could easily be bi or otherwise queer. Suggesting that his marriage to Mary should preclude any and all attraction to men or taking that as proof of straightness is frankly biphobic and erases the bi experience.

But let’s move away from the personal significancer of a John Watson coming out/discovering himself narrative, and towards addressing your other comments.

Regarding your comment, “Two men are allowed to be close friends without having to satisfy a tumblr-worthy homoerotic fantasy”: From my perspective, summing up what the Johnlock fandom does as “tumblr-worthy homoerotic fantasy” is infantilizing and doesn’t give full credit to the depth of thought and nuance that goes into these transformative works.

I can name on one hand the pieces of mainstream media that tell a story like mine. Blue is the warmest colour is one, Carol is another.

The work these fanfiction authors are doing for representation by taking mainstream stories and queeriung them is monumental. But it is still not mainstream media representation. And we deserve that.

And now we come to the queerbaiting portion of my response.

Tropes are what tell us what kinds of archetypal stories are being invoked in the telling of a new story. In TV, there are many different kinds of tropes: plot tropes, lighting tropes, musical tropes, dialogue tropes, camera angle tropes, etc. For example a long lingering gaze in television codes romance for us. It’s a romantic trope. 

For more on tropes, here are some useful resources: http://thorinlock.tumblr.com/post/132779606878/romantic-shots-in-bbc-sherlock

http://ifyouhaveenoughnerve.tumblr.com/post/76422437022/the-unabridged-dictionary-of-johnlock-tropes-157

http://tvtropes.org/

As a culture, we tell a lot of straight white love stories that end happily. Most of our romantic tv tropes come from these stories.

As a culture, we don’t tell many gay stories, and usually when we do, they are tragic and someone dies (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BuryYourGays). A common trope in stories about lesbians that I hate is that one woman leaves the other for a man—and that’s supposed to be a happy ending.

The point is, the filming and story telling tropes of romance are all over this show and these characters. Close shots of them gazing into each other’s eyes, the soft looks they give each other when they think the other won’t notice, the soft lighting accompanying these scenes, the dialogue, especially in the scene in ASiP at Angelo’s. As an exercise, try imagining that scene if Sherlock were a gorgeous woman.

JOHN: So you’ve got a boyfriend then?


SHERLOCK: No.


JOHN: Right. Okay. You’re unattached. Like me.  Fine.  Good.(modified from this transcript )

And then John licks his lips.

This is where it becomes queerbaiting. When the BBC tweets “Sherlock’s in love, but with who?” in order to promote s4, in which Sherlock’s romantic life is not shown to be developing at all, that is queer baiting. And it’s cruel.

More on queerbaiting:

https://www.autostraddle.com/how-do-we-solve-a-problem-like-queerbaiting-on-tvs-not-so-subtle-gay-subtext-182718/

http://www.afterellen.com/tv/471593-lets-end-queerbaiting-2016

Basically, the idea of gayness between Sherlock and John is a running joke on the show, a joke which has no pay off. Perhaps your sexuality has never been thrown in your face, or laughed at. Perhaps you have never been threatened violence or stalked or whistled at. But I have experienced all of this, just for holding my girlfriend’s hand in public.

So in sum, we have a show using romantic film tropes in order to make a joke about my sexuality, a joke at the expense of the marginalized.

Of course I’m upset and angry.

If this is a show about an epic platonic male friendship, that’s fine.

(Epic platonic male friendship is the oldest, most done narrative in existence, by the way. This is an excellent if somewhat dry book about the cultural shift in the twelfth century from tales of epic brotherly love/devotion between knights to tales of chaste courtly love between men and aloof women).

But in that case, stop it with the romantic TV tropes, stop teasing queer fans on twitter, stop making homophobic “no homo” jokes for the straight audience to have a laugh at my expense, and for god’s sake, stop writing all of your villains as queer coded psychopathic monsters. Was that really necessary??? It’s homophobic and it’s bad, lazy writing, and we deserve better representation than that. We deserve more than psychotic gay villains and desperately unspoken hidden subtext and winks and nudges on twitter from the creators. We deserve real representation, no hinting, no winking, no implying. Real, textual queer representation.

My last comment to you, nonny, is this: Indeed, not everyone is gay. And neither is everyone straight. I’m tired of never seeing myself or any part of my identity reflected in mainstream media.

For more information about media’s skewed representation of the world, see this GLAAD report.