#he didnt stick it out til his birthday but i will have an extra drink for him on the day. he didn't hurt. he was comfy. he wasnt alone.

[critterbutt]

how do you even prepare for a goodbye call from someone who had admitted themself into a hospice

i didn't think id need to drink to anyone new this year, but maybe that was stupid of me

doesn't help that their birthday is on the day i have my lil drinking ritual

went nearly a whole year without losing anyone, but don't think that streak is staying.

wonder how long it'll be til there's no one left to lose

don't know if it's better or worse, these calls. the last two i had. well

one was probably pointless, i don't even think they were capable of... coherent thought at that point. hearing their voice as they just. made noise. moaned. struggled. it was awful

and the other, i couldn't even say anything. i said i love you and that's it. i started crying after and couldn't stop. so did they so i couldn't even go back if i wanted to

i hate these calls and i hate loss