#he deserves a team that has good strategy where he won't be number 2

[maya-caffrey]

lord tests me everyday (i am a ferrari fan)

[migleefulmoments]

Cassie: "Nonnie, I do get where you're coming from. I think C just realizes D is worth it and I do believe, in my heart of hearts, it won't always be this way." If your bf is choosing to live a fake life and expects you to just go along with it for X number of years, he is not worth it. I don't care if he is Darren Criss or any other attractive famous man, no person on Earth is worth the heartache that ccChris has probably been through whilst watching his "hubby" constantly choose fame over him.

Cassie’s answer really blew me away. She’s has chugged down all of Abby’s Kool-Aid and she’s fully buying into Abby’s juvenile ideas about relationships, sacrificing for love, and the power of love. THE 5 have clearly read Twilight one too many times! Everything they know about love, they learned from Bella and Edward who taught them with the idea that love is all-consuming, that there is no sacrifice that is too much as long as he loves you, and that in the end, happily ever will save the day. 

You’re right, there are a lot of scenarios where love is not enough and you have to walk away for your own mental or emotional well being. Sometimes it is an abusive partner making bad ccchoices and sometimes it is a wonderful partner whose future no longer looks like yours. One of my favorite Youtubers just announced she split with her husband 2 years ago and kept it a secret- even wearing her rings in the first half of this video! They broke up simply because they reached a point where they realized there was a fundamental difference in what they each wanted in life and the relationship couldn’t go forward (she wouldn’t say what that was). My husband’s cousin got divorced after her husband realized he wanted to be a dad and she wasn’t interested in children. Another YouTuber I watch called off their engagement after they realized she wanted a picket fence on a cul-de-sac and he wanted to a cave in the middle of nowhere (he was dead serious).  Their goals were incompatible and asking one to compromise wasn’t fair or healthy. ccDarren chose fame over ccChris and their relationship. ccDarren is unwilling to risk his position in Hollywood in order to openly love ccChris. He is so caught up in being THE actor, musician, and executive producer Darren Criss, that he married a woman he despises and spends all his time with her. She enjoys the lifestyle his fame has provided for him while ccChris has to hide in the rafters and scurry around ccDarren’s life completely unseen. ccDarren is incapable -or unwilling -to rid himself of his toxic team whose main goal is to “ccruin him” and by extension, ccChris. I don’t believe that the same man who gave this interview would choose to stay in a relationship where his feelings and needs always come second to ccDarren’s career.  Spending 1:00 am-7:00 am spooning the night away is hardly compensation for having to keep their relationship hidden and standing by while his lover lives his life with another person. Scurring in the dark and in disguise certainly isn’t enough to keep a relationship alive and healthy for 10 years.

(My comments are in italics below)

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Anonymous asked: I love Cc, but I just can’t imagine C agreeing with all this and if he did, my heart still hurts for him.

cassie1022 answered: Nonnie, you’re more than entitled to your opinion. I, respectfully, disagree. C is not a victim in all of this. He made a conscious and willing decision to stand with D. He’s just as culpable in all of this as D is and he’s tried to show that on more than one occasion. I’m not heartbroken for C and I don’t think he would want us to be. At the end of the day, he has a love most people only dream about. Many people perceive C as being the more fragile of the two, and I think that’s a grave mistake. C’s the glue that holds them together. He’s always had to fend for himself and the world wasn’t always kind to him. D grew up in this seemingly perfect little world where he trusted everyone and thought people were mostly good and that’s part of why he’s in this situation. (Cassie et. al believe that love makes it all ok and that ccChris chose to stay so making him as culpable as ccDarren. It’s an interesting theory- basically, she’s saying that anyone who is an abusive relationship is culpable for the abuse because they chose to stay in the relationship. This is a dangerous and harmful belief because it ignores all of the barriers that keep people in abusive relationships- lack of money, lack of a safe place to go, fearing for their lives if they leave, low self-esteem from the abuse-to name just a few. I realize that Cassie is just turning ccChris staying in an abusive relationship into ccconfirmation bias, but she’s speaking to a lot of young people who don’t understand that and are learning that they should always stay because love makes everything ok.  “At the end of the day, he has a love most people only dream about.” Besides the fact that that kind of love exists in fanfiction and Twilight, I am gobsmacked that a middle-aged adult would imagine she knows this about Chris Colfer’s love life. The most Chris has ever said about his love life is to say tell a young fan that his dedication was to his boyfriend, to acknowledge to Andy Cohen that he had a boyfriend, and to acknowledge to Sandra Bernhart that Will was his boyfriend. Oh, and he said several times that he was not in a relationship with Darren. To believe he has a “love that most people only dream about” she would have to fabricate every detail single details she thinks she knows.  That is not the behavior of a healthy adult.   Big strong ccChris who went through hell and came out so strong that nothing touches him now. He’s the “glue that holds them together” and the “Captain of the ship” even though he’s literally being ignored while ccDarren lives a very full life with Mia by his side. Poor widdle, innocent ccDarren who grew up wealthy and since wealthy people live perfect lives and everyone around them is kind, he never learned who to trust. Gag)  

flowersintheattic254 You only have to watch the impact theory interview to see what drives C. C is strong and he stands up for those who are marginalized. C is tough and stronger than people give home credit for and he’s loyal too. (See the video and my transcript below. Notice that Chris never mentions his love life in any of the statements that Flowers believes are 100% about his relationships) 

notes-from-nowhere:

I agree with @flowersintheattic254. This is such a good interview

Anonymous asked: I guess it makes sense that C’s the rock. I guess it’s just me thinking that since C’s out and proud, he deserves the same from his partner. But as you said, D was too trusting and I guess C is his strength, keeping him from giving up on everything shitty he’s going through. (Such a good little minion, repeating everything she’s groomed to believe) 

Cassie: Nonnie, I do get where you’re coming from. I think C just realizes D is worth it and I do believe, in my heart of hearts, it won’t always be this way.

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I listened to Chris’s interview and he was asked about ambition:

Chris: ... I was really good at playing that character (Kurt).  People really do think I was playing myself and although we were experiencing very very similar things, I was very different from that character.  I was much more cynical than that character.

Tom: In fact, I am glad you brought that up. I heard in an interview someone asked you if you were a character in Game of Thrones and you said ‘I want to say that I would be the Mother of Dragons but I think I am actually Cersei’. 

Chris: I‘m sorry but she is a woman who knows what she wants and she goes out and she gets it. Her methods-her strategy- is a little questionable but I just love any woman with a drive. I remember when I was in my senior year of high school I was chosen to put on my own show. It’s called the senior show.  Every year one senior in the drama class got selected to basically put on whatever they want and usually they would put on an SNL-type variety sketch kind of show, but I was like “Nope I’m writing a musical” and I gender-reversed Sweeny Todd and called it Shirley Todd so I could be Mrs. Lovett so I was Mr. Lovett.  Because we were all seniors, no one wanted to do it and I ended up blackmailing all of them to be in it.  It was a great show. 

Tom: Walk me through how that drive and ambition has manifested in your life. Is that something you value in yourself? Is that something that you’re skeptical of in yourself because when you answer that question- and I fully understand that was a little tongue-in-cheek, but when you say “I fear that I’m actually Cersei” is there part of you that is very cognizant that there is a line that you can cross with drive and ambition or...

Chris: Oh I think so, I think that ambition is so much a part of who I am-maybe to a fault- but I’ve never got to the point where I was so ambitions that I was causing harm. I think growing up, ambition and hope and goals and dreams was literally all that I had. My family didn’t have money and I wasn’t good looking and I wasn’t athletic, I could act and I could sing, I could write but there aren’t many areas for you to do that when you are a young person- at least when I was a young person they weren’t. So I think my ambition sort of just became my imaginary friend. It was a survival tool, it wasn’t narcissism, it was survival. 

Tom: In that, I can be somewhere else, I can be bigger than this, I can go places was that the sort of your savor mechanism?

Chris: Yeah, I think it was  Making a treasure map to a life that was better than what the life I was in currently. That is what it was for me.  Hence, why I also identify so much with fantasy and superheroes and Greek mythology and literature it was all part of ...yeah, I always use fictitious people as my examples of getting somewhere.

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Chris: To go back to what you said about bullying, I’m in a weird place right now because I played a bullied kid on national television, you know for 20 million people a week watched me get pushed into lockers and thrown on floors and called “a faggot” called “queer”... all these negative things and I experienced all that myself in real life.  I really let people know that was one of the reasons why people connected to my performance because it was coming from such a real place and I let people know i was bullied horribly when I was a kid. I was bullied so horribly in middle school that my mom pulled me out of school and homeschooled me because the harassment got so severe.  But I’m at his weird place right now that I feel like I’m so not a victim anymore ...that I kind of- maybe it’s my ego- I don’t know, but I get tired of being associated with someone who is bullied because I don’t allow that to happen anymore. At all! I’m proud of where I’m at now because the minute I see someone who tries to take advantage of me or isn’t kind... I have the option to walk away now- which I didn't when I was a kid. But I feel like I have to stop talking about it because I’ve told millions and millions of kids around the world that it is something you get to leave behind.  Because of my circumstances, I don’t get to leave it behind because I’m always asked about it and it’s a good thing to talk about because it’s still going on but as a certain point, I feel like I’m doing the kids who look up to me a disservice when I keep talking about it becuase it does-maybe for them-  seem like it doesn’t leave me. Does that make sense?

Tom: If this was the last words that you speak on the subject of being bullied what would you say that was your process to close that chapter.. to feel good about yourself.  I’m definitely putting words in your mouth, being born in some way where that is not who you are anymore? 

Chris: It is really about just knowing that you get to move on from it. That is the thing... adolescence is the toughest time in your life because you have no freedom but you have all this responsibility. You are expected to make adult decision but you don’t get the benefits of being an adult and you’re literally trapped in an environment- high school- unless you are homeschooled. You have no control of who you are around and probably the lesson or the bridge that I crossed in my life that has given me the most relief is knowing that I don’t have to be in any environment that I do not want to be in. I think that would be the message that I would give to kids who are being bullied. But also the world is full of assholes. Bullies, they do go away at a certain point, but there will always be people in your life that you don’t like, that are mean and rude and when you do go through a period of harassment- especially when you are young- you do learn how to overcome that and how to maybe have inner peace but you can’t ever control the world around you but you do learn a lot of good communications skills. I think. 

Chris makes it very clear that he is NOT Kurt

Chris identifies with a character who knows what she wants and goes out and gets it. That is very different from ccChris who is sitting back and accepting that he is not a priority for 10 years and counting. 

Ambition and drive are very important to Chris- ccChris is allowing Darren to drive the relationship.  Darren is getting everything he wants while Chris continues to make all of the sacrifices.  

Chris is adamant that he will not be bullied every again and that he will wake away from anyone taking advantage of him. The cc fandom heard this and saw it as confirmation bias because he is still in a ccrelationship with ccDarren aka he doesn’t see the relationship as being abusive or that he’s being taken advantage of therefore ccChris just confirmed CrissCofler is real and that ccChris is in control. 

The final paragraph is once again confirmation bias- Chris no longer has to be in an environment he doesn’t want to be in- hence he’s happy with ccDarren. By saying that people are still assholes, he confirmed that Ryan Murphy, Mia and Darren’s team are all assholes but he’s in control now and it doesn’t let them ruin his life..