#he cuddles all the plushies we have proof 🥰🥰🥰

[khaleesiofalicante]

Damn I feel like it's been forever for some reason lmao. Last week's hell is finally over and I get to relax this week! I'm going out with some friends on Friday and I've also cleared my phone and organized my notes!!! It feels so good😭 Now I have some thoughts about last chapter BECAUSE WOW

First of all fuck Mallory, I hate her and I will never get tired of saying this and I am now divided between wanting to read the next chapter so bad and dreading it with my whole being 🙂

My heart broke into a million pieces with the first part!!! Rafael's fear for Max is shown so damn well and Max's thoughts are messy and all over the place and the way you can see him moving in and out of reality is overwhelming!!

I kinda guessed the "why isn't he smiling?" part but fuck if it ripped my heart 😭😭

"Tears of grief" Max loving him so much he literally recognizes his tears and knows these ones too.... And saying he looks as if he is grieving something that was his everything, not knowing David was grieving him. Grieving them. The life they had built. Gone.

"I wanna see daddy" WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SCREAMING INTERNALLY ON MY FLOOR!! When we first saw on the first chapters I was so confused and now that the dots connected I am in pain 😭. And you wrote that scene so beautifully, their pain and horror and how you see Max slowly losing himself because it's just too much. The pain is too much. Losing David, Lance's pain, his job, his home...

And the scene with Magnus!!! GOING TO MY FAVE COLLECTION 🥺. Also him giving the band to AJ later, because Magnus said he could give it to someone else when it hurt just a little bit less HOLY SHIT😭😭

I can go on a three hour analysis so Imma stop jdhdjdjkd. BUT THE PRESENT TOO JFC

Max's growth. That ends me everytime. Seeing how much he has changed and how he survived through all of this. Thinking of the was Alec told him how proud he is of Max because he made it. Not the way he planned. But he did it. He got so far, and that took so much strength but he still survived. Same Alec, same🥹

But also the fucking parallel:

"He was careful now (...) Just in case. Just in case he'll get his heart broken all over again."

///

Not without an explanation. Not without getting his heart broken into a million pieces one last time.

Then, just like everything else in life, things slowly got better. This whole fic is a prove of it and I can't even-

YES LANCE CALL HIS IDIOTIC SELF OUT!!! TELL HIM DAVID LOVES HIM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!!! I WILL NEVER GET TIRED IF HIS SASS BTW

You once said that tlnd was was about acceptance and healing, but IALS is about forgiveness, about learning to forgive the people we love, but mostly about learning to forgive ourselves (I have the receipts don't @ me) and this scene portrayed that so well. Even though Max knows it wasn't his fault he still blames himself. Because knowing is not the same as accepting it. As Max said, shit is hard to internalize.

THIS GOES TO MY TOP 10😭😭 LANCE AND MAX TALKING TO EACH OTHER IS EVERYTHING I KNEW I NEEDED FROM THE VERY START I AM SO EMOTIONAL!!! Also Lance and Max's detective skills together??? ✨ Iconic✨

Tell me how to love you as you want to be loved and I'll do it to give you the comfort and safety you deserve is something I'll never get tired of😭😭 istg I could go on a whole speech about this part because it's so true. Sometimes parents don't love us the way we want to be loved, but that doesn't mean there's no love there. It's just different of what we expect. And sometimes people go their whole lives not knowing of that love and that's just sad.

That is one unproblematic child,” Max noted. “Really doesn’t fit into this clusterfuck of a family.”

“I’m waiting for him to set Hollywood on fire,” Lance informed. “Don’t lose hope yet.”

HOLY SHIT I JUST REALIZED I'M THE ARTHUR OF MY FAMILY. WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS KNOWLEDGE???

I have so many feeling about that apartment and Harry and them but I will not unpack them bc this shit is already long enough 🙂

Their conversation. The way they've both changed so much. Talking about how they wished they were there for Lance and for each other. I was in TEARS

Everything of the last scene was *screams internally* David fucking pushing Max to the wall, stronger than hate. "He's scared of something". Fucking Mon ange, *what did Mallory do to you?"

I just want you to know I will combust into confetti or tears in the next chapter. Probably both...

Anyway this turned long and I better go. Take care and drink lots of tea!!!!

💙.💙.💙.

This made me so 😇😇😇😇 and gave me some motivation to write the next chapter 😭😭😭😭 Thank you 💚💚💚

This is Lance sleeping in Arthur’s room 🥰🥰🥰