#he cant betray his own feelings and el by finalizing their bond like that when he knows deep down it's not truly what he feels
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☎️🎲 🤼♂️ ✈️🚪 ➡️ 🫀🎮⌛️
Always on My Mind by Pet Shop Boys
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#byler#stranger things#bizarre love triangle playlist#mike wheeler#mike's pov#this is a bop#but also sort of sad#it's confusing though#because I think on the surface it matches really well with mike's behavior during his and el's fight in 4x03#part of him was visibly (superficially) trying to salvage their romantic relationship#but there were limits to what he was willing to say/do in this moment (simply say the words i love you)#he tried to empathize with el and when that doesn't work he still tried to understand her bc he cares about her very much...#it's like he was willing to do everything but that one thing#he was willing to apologize and do everything he could except just say those words#however in contrast#the lyrics 'you are always on my mind' repeating throughout#serves as a reminder (just like the will the wise drawing does) that mike's heart belongs to someone else#and deep down he knows it#he cant betray his own feelings and el by finalizing their bond like that when he knows deep down it's not truly what he feels#and so upon that fight going downhill#mike has sort of given up and i do think that while his focus on is on el and how he hurt her#which he wanted more than anything to avoid in the first place#he's nonetheless distracted by his feelings for will (per usual)#after just recently gaining the knowledge that miscommunication and misunderstanding caused him and will to needlessly grow apart#and that will truly does want him in his life#those feelings of guilt and shame and heartbreak are intermixing because he thinks he probably doesn't deserve either of them#unfortunately for mike (fortunately for us) he can't keep up the secret of his true feelings much longer#bc el knows now that it's not the words she wanted to hear but that she wanted to feel it based on his actions#unfortunately mike is going on a journey of thinking el still loves him irrefutably and will not want him in her life if he doesn't say it#*queue episodes of mike stalling his ass off bc he doesn't want to be untrue to himself but also doesn't want to lose el*
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