#he believes he's factkin and Did Not Like The Implications Of That
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weird trains of thought at 5/6 am
#bluposting#meet the team#plural.core#<- concerning the following events#woke up around 5:50 to go piss#i think we came straight out of REM sleep#we almost never remember our dreams but there were some echoes of whatever this one was#we were in an escape room ''alone''#the dream based this part somewhat off an irl escape room where everyone was divided into separate smaller rooms#but that wasn't the core conceit of the dream that was just the location we were in#and something negative happened. thats all i remember#got up and pissed and got back#and we were thinking about it#the idea popped up that maybe that dream wasn't for me#so whoever it WAS for in-sys i hope it was cathartic. because it seemed like it was based in a lot of pain#and then we got to thinking about this factive we got before we realized we were a system#i'd like to call this maybe early 2021?#at the time we had considered our plurality just kinning#so we're having a conversation on discord and at some point the main fronter flicks out and the factive flicks in#and then he realizes he exists#he believes he's factkin and Did Not Like The Implications Of That#so he um. like#ok bear with me#he like ripped himself out of existence#through overwhelming self-hate and pain#because he thought he was us factkinning someone#and that train of thought led to here#because these things are things we don't tend to tell people#not out of fear or shame or guilt#these are just things nobody else will have full context for
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