#he ain't fucking leaving unless you drag him kicking and screaming
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f1-birb Β· 10 months ago
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landonorris There's nowhere else I'd rather be. Proud to say I'm staying with mclaren, let's carry on what we started 🧑
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punkscowardschampions Β· 6 years ago
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Janis & Grace
Janis: Is the baby still at ours? Janis: Iggy just told me Janis: What's going on Grace: They came and got her not long ago Grace: It's wild! Grace: How much did Iggy even tell you, like omg?! Janis: You know, he's Mr. CCC about fucking everything Janis: if any of the rest of yous had said something, I'd have thought you was taking the piss Janis: Is she even allowed to do this? Janis: Last I heard was Rio wants the baby back and Junie don't want it Janis: Ma just standing there holding it like umm πŸ˜‚ Grace: Exactly why I let him do the honors Grace: Obvs! The baby came out of her she can do what she wants Janis: I dunna, surely Demi gets a say Janis: This is fuuuuucked, man Grace: Duh! He's still her dad Grace: They'll have to share Grace: Awkward Janis: Literally, how is that gonna work Janis: if Junie's dumping him Janis: Fucking hell, do we still have to have him over for family functions Grace: Idek Grace: Doubt it. Buster doesn't parade his exes around at them Grace: It'll be like that, I guess Janis: πŸ™„ Janis: As if they weren't becoming enough of a who's who of has beens Janis: Dying Janis: Why did they think this was a good idea, again? Grace: I'm like, did they even? Junie obvs didn't Grace: Ugh Grace: Only this family omg Janis: Well that's a whole 'nother situation Janis: he's JUST had his 22nd, literally yesterday Janis: and it's his first boyfriend Janis: Yeah, time to go get a baby and a ring Janis: Ma and Pa got 'em fucked up Grace: So true Grace: It's cringe that that's ancient by ma's standards, babes Grace: And that this fam can't go a year without bringing the drama Grace: Remind me of all this if I ever ask you to have a baby for me Janis: Literally bitch, we was cooking by then Janis: she's insane, not a role model, like Janis: Ha, you'd never Janis: Could turn out like me Janis: You'd die Grace: omg ew Grace: let's cancel that idea forever Grace: by the time I get a new man you'll have 4 with barista boy anyways obvs Grace: no room in the oven, honey Janis: Planning on taking forever, are ya? Janis: 🀒 Leave off Grace: Yeah. Single and loving it, thank you, bitch Grace: You're gonna make loads of cute babies with him and you know it Janis: Good, 'cos how embarrassing to have your baby drama overshadowed by Ri's like Janis: Can't have that Janis: Nu-uh, count me on team Junie, for the first time in probably ever, like Grace: Sure Jan Grace: I'll believe that when I see it Grace: πŸ˜‚ Janis: See the lack of babies dropping out me, like Grace: I'll see you pushing a twin pram Grace: πŸ’• Janis: Oh no Janis: Can you imagine Janis: War flashbacks Janis: Not again Grace: I thought Ri was gonna have twins Grace: Double the drama Janis: Could take one each and bounce, tho Janis: Be helpful now Grace: OMG Grace: One randomly has a american accent too Grace: Amazing Janis: Demi would love it Janis: The theatrics Janis: He can't even deny it Grace: I wonder if he'll still go to Paris Janis: I would Janis: What's he going to do here? Janis: God I hope so, can't deal with the moping and shit Grace: Um, be a dad like he was so desperate too, I'd hope Janis: Yeah how bad he gonna want that now he can't have his designer gaybie Grace: He still has her though Grace: Rio isn't going to stop him seeing her or anything Janis: It ain't the same though, is it Janis: Not the dream he was buying into Grace: Duh, but if he wants Venus as badly as he said he did then he'll have to cope Janis: Nah Janis: don't reckon it was about her Janis: All about the lifestyle Janis: like a small dog in a designer handbag, init Grace: How rude Grace: I hope you're wrong Grace: Poor baby Janis: Meh, she'll be looked after Janis: Jay's better without her Ma Grace: But Demi isn't as bad as that, is he? Grace: For real like Janis: I don't know Janis: Never really talked to him tbh Janis: He's annoying Grace: He is A LOT Grace: And that's from me Janis: πŸ˜‚ Janis: Such a good match with Junie, like Janis: fuck's sake, boy Grace: Opposites might attract but they never stick Grace: Has he never read a magazine, god Grace: Obvs not Janis: Cosmo ain't really his speed, babe Janis: Shoulda clued him in Grace: Yeah right! I didn't want to tell you all of this in case you didn't believe, imagine the vibe if I tried to school him on his love life Grace: And with my past boyfriends Grace: ugh Janis: Fair, and if I showed up and heard a screaming brat, I'd be straight back out the door, like Janis: Yeah, but he's even more clueless than you, like 😜 Grace: Liar, you love being a sister-in-law to your bae's sibs Grace: And she's such a cutie 😍 Grace: Excuse you! You better mean I've got the film aesthetic down, bitch Grace: I'm woke Janis: They don't cry, much Janis: and can both wipe their own arses Janis: I can deal with that, like Janis: Sure, sure πŸ˜‚ just saying, did he need such a rude awakening? couldn't just realise he weren't the one before dragging a kid into it Grace: Where's the lie, girl? Grace: Had that scare myself though, so can't shade too hard Grace: Even though I am 😈 Janis: Boys Janis: So clueless, so stupid Janis: Not that Rio comes out looking much better but Janis: Hopefully we can get out of this without having to involve the law or the social 🀞 lads Grace: Literally! I'm not trying to go on a chatshow with this weave Grace: Trackies are more your vibe Janis: Gonna ask why, but now I get it Janis: Scared I'll snatch it live on air Grace: That or kick off and kick out at me in last season's nike air Grace: So shaming babe Janis: Fuck off πŸ˜‚ Janis: whatever I'm wearing cost twice as much as your overpriced topshop garbage Grace: Hence I'm not showing myself up like on air Grace: Catch me in labels or leave me out Janis: Unless you wanna fuck Nance Janis: the rich cousins are claimed Grace: EWW Grace: There are enough websites advertising sugar daddies if I can't pay my own bills Grace: no need to go gay or keep it in the family thanks Janis: I dunna, sounds like you wanna fill Ri's stripper shoes to me Janis: Take her place 'til she works of the baby weight Janis: No one would notice Grace: Girl you better stop! I don't have the body for that Grace: Even with baby weight she'd earn more in tips like Janis: Yeah, you're so butterz like Janis: its alright, pixels hide many sins Janis: and they've gotta be at least a little short-sighted with all the wanking they do Grace: OMG shut up Grace: So gross Grace: Like I haven't had enough online drama to fill a life Janis: I mean, was thinking it was quite the #brand switch-up but Janis: gotta get that viewer engagement baby Grace: πŸ™„ Janis: Please tell me Rio's gonna change its name tho Grace: What would she even choose tho? Grace: it's not that bad Grace: Heard more cringey ones Janis: Its awful Janis: Full on stripper name Janis: least give the kid a choice about it, like, eurgh Grace: What are you gonna name all your barista boy babies? I'm dying to know Grace: And judge Janis: Please Janis: I told you, not happening, so I ain't thought about it, have I? πŸ™„ Grace: πŸ˜‚ Grace: You so have Janis: Bitch no Janis: You were always in to knocking poor Barbie and co up Janis: not me, bitch shoulda kept living lavish Grace: You can do both Grace: Get with the times, babes Janis: Bullshit Janis: That's a lie yummy mummy's say to feel better about the fakeness of their labels, trust Grace: Mum did okay, hardly living in a cardboard palace, are we? Grace: And she had loads, I'm not thinking you'll go that hard Janis: Imagine how mint you'd have it as an only child though Janis: or if she had none Grace: Believe me I have Janis: Unlucky Janis: even if you were riding solo you're still #7 Grace: Lucky 7 πŸ˜‡ Janis: If that makes you feel better, babe πŸ˜‚ Grace: How soon do you think we're gonna all have to roll out and see the baby? Grace: It's gonna be soooooooooooo awkward Janis: Hopefully we'll just smooth over it like we do everything, eh Grace: Gonna have to take back all my yay gay & I love my two daddies gifts Janis: Good Janis: Vom inducing much Grace: Demi would've gushed and you know it Janis: Didn't take much Janis: #loose Grace: You're so savage about him Grace: You didn't even know him you said Janis: He was a prick, didn't need to look hard, or listen, to see it Grace: πŸ™„ Janis: If he was a top bloke Janis: Wouldn't have made Junie have a kid with him Grace: But you didn't know that's what he was doing, don't lie that hard, babe Janis: Yeah, I ain't saying that Janis: He's just an annoying cunt, standard Janis: but now we see the whole truth of it Grace: That boiling hot tea Janis: Just glad its another one off the Christmas card list Grace: Ugh true, can't treat myself and all of you Grace: Poor Junior though, his birthday is trash now Janis: Dunna why you bother, we're still young enough to not get side eye over it Janis: I got it fuck all, like Janis: Yeah, bad timing, worse luck forreal Grace: He should be loving life with uni over Grace: So tragic Grace: πŸ’” Janis: Is he ever loving life Janis: Let's be real Grace: Ouch Grace: You've got a point though Janis: The facade is gone now though Janis: He'll have to deal with his shit like the rest of us Grace: mhm Grace: πŸ‘ Janis: This fucking family Grace: Your bf has it worse tho, his dad is a proper headcase, right? Janis: Yeah, he's a right cunt Grace: Seems like it from the little one's vibe Grace: He doesn't like you still either, how rude Grace: never gonna let you πŸ’ in Janis: Yeah, you know your a right tosser when even kids don't fuck with you Janis: Idc, I'm unlikeable Grace: πŸ˜‚ Thanks for letting me off saying it Grace: You lovebirds need your own place Janis: πŸ–• Janis: Working on it Janis: May as well wait to see where we go for college tho Grace: Yeah Grace: If he gonna do photography? He's really gifted at the snaps Janis: Yeah Grace: Make sure he doesn't forget my clout Grace: Or willingness as a subject Janis: 😏 Janis: how could he forget Grace: SHUT UP Grace: you know what I'm saying, bitch! Janis: πŸ‘Œ Janis: got it, calling all men in need of muses, like Grace: πŸ™„ Grace: You doing a night walk with your dog squad later? Janis: Yeah, why, you scouting for 🐢 talent? Grace: I'm just asking if I can come with or is 3 humans a crowd πŸ’˜ Grace: The gym was such a non-event today οΏ½οΏ½οΏ½ Janis: You can come with Janis: No doubt Jim will think I'm bullshitting so you can fill him in on this ridiculousness Grace: yay Grace: he might not believe this face either even though it's one of a πŸ˜‡ obvs Janis: Overcome with a pressing need to take your photo, we get it, bitch 😜 Grace: πŸ˜‚ Grace: Not hard to compete with your resting bitch face, babes Janis: Please Grace: And I don't need to hear how much he loves your O face before you go there, thanks Grace: TMI with the 🏩 antics Janis: You're the one who brought it up, babe Janis: 🀷 kinda sounds like you want the goss Grace: Please Grace: I just know how nasty you are Janis: Now you just sound jealous πŸ˜‚ Grace: I said I love being single not that I love not getting any Grace: Excuse me Janis: 😬🀒 Janis: definitely did NOT ask Janis: gross Grace: You can cope Janis: Hmm Janis: Barely Grace: Pablo's literally tripped over you and your boy sooo many times Grace: but I'm the gross one, okay sure Janis: Maybe he's the gross one then Janis: Clearly doing it on purpose, weirdo Grace: Or maybe you are Grace: Exhibitionist Janis: Yeah, well want you lot to see Janis: Nutter πŸ™„ Janis: all up in my business 24/7 you gon' see some things Grace: πŸ™„
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