#he ain't fucking leaving unless you drag him kicking and screaming
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
landonorris There's nowhere else I'd rather be. Proud to say I'm staying with mclaren, let's carry on what we started π§‘
#lando norris#lando bleeds mclaren#he ain't fucking leaving unless you drag him kicking and screaming#BABY BOY KNOWS HIS HOME#AND MULTI YEAR EXTENSION LETS GOOO
456 notes
Β·
View notes
Text
Janis & Grace
Janis: Is the baby still at ours? Janis: Iggy just told me Janis: What's going on Grace: They came and got her not long ago Grace: It's wild! Grace: How much did Iggy even tell you, like omg?! Janis: You know, he's Mr. CCC about fucking everything Janis: if any of the rest of yous had said something, I'd have thought you was taking the piss Janis: Is she even allowed to do this? Janis: Last I heard was Rio wants the baby back and Junie don't want it Janis: Ma just standing there holding it like umm π Grace: Exactly why I let him do the honors Grace: Obvs! The baby came out of her she can do what she wants Janis: I dunna, surely Demi gets a say Janis: This is fuuuuucked, man Grace: Duh! He's still her dad Grace: They'll have to share Grace: Awkward Janis: Literally, how is that gonna work Janis: if Junie's dumping him Janis: Fucking hell, do we still have to have him over for family functions Grace: Idek Grace: Doubt it. Buster doesn't parade his exes around at them Grace: It'll be like that, I guess Janis: π Janis: As if they weren't becoming enough of a who's who of has beens Janis: Dying Janis: Why did they think this was a good idea, again? Grace: I'm like, did they even? Junie obvs didn't Grace: Ugh Grace: Only this family omg Janis: Well that's a whole 'nother situation Janis: he's JUST had his 22nd, literally yesterday Janis: and it's his first boyfriend Janis: Yeah, time to go get a baby and a ring Janis: Ma and Pa got 'em fucked up Grace: So true Grace: It's cringe that that's ancient by ma's standards, babes Grace: And that this fam can't go a year without bringing the drama Grace: Remind me of all this if I ever ask you to have a baby for me Janis: Literally bitch, we was cooking by then Janis: she's insane, not a role model, like Janis: Ha, you'd never Janis: Could turn out like me Janis: You'd die Grace: omg ew Grace: let's cancel that idea forever Grace: by the time I get a new man you'll have 4 with barista boy anyways obvs Grace: no room in the oven, honey Janis: Planning on taking forever, are ya? Janis: π€’ Leave off Grace: Yeah. Single and loving it, thank you, bitch Grace: You're gonna make loads of cute babies with him and you know it Janis: Good, 'cos how embarrassing to have your baby drama overshadowed by Ri's like Janis: Can't have that Janis: Nu-uh, count me on team Junie, for the first time in probably ever, like Grace: Sure Jan Grace: I'll believe that when I see it Grace: π Janis: See the lack of babies dropping out me, like Grace: I'll see you pushing a twin pram Grace: π Janis: Oh no Janis: Can you imagine Janis: War flashbacks Janis: Not again Grace: I thought Ri was gonna have twins Grace: Double the drama Janis: Could take one each and bounce, tho Janis: Be helpful now Grace: OMG Grace: One randomly has a american accent too Grace: Amazing Janis: Demi would love it Janis: The theatrics Janis: He can't even deny it Grace: I wonder if he'll still go to Paris Janis: I would Janis: What's he going to do here? Janis: God I hope so, can't deal with the moping and shit Grace: Um, be a dad like he was so desperate too, I'd hope Janis: Yeah how bad he gonna want that now he can't have his designer gaybie Grace: He still has her though Grace: Rio isn't going to stop him seeing her or anything Janis: It ain't the same though, is it Janis: Not the dream he was buying into Grace: Duh, but if he wants Venus as badly as he said he did then he'll have to cope Janis: Nah Janis: don't reckon it was about her Janis: All about the lifestyle Janis: like a small dog in a designer handbag, init Grace: How rude Grace: I hope you're wrong Grace: Poor baby Janis: Meh, she'll be looked after Janis: Jay's better without her Ma Grace: But Demi isn't as bad as that, is he? Grace: For real like Janis: I don't know Janis: Never really talked to him tbh Janis: He's annoying Grace: He is A LOT Grace: And that's from me Janis: π Janis: Such a good match with Junie, like Janis: fuck's sake, boy Grace: Opposites might attract but they never stick Grace: Has he never read a magazine, god Grace: Obvs not Janis: Cosmo ain't really his speed, babe Janis: Shoulda clued him in Grace: Yeah right! I didn't want to tell you all of this in case you didn't believe, imagine the vibe if I tried to school him on his love life Grace: And with my past boyfriends Grace: ugh Janis: Fair, and if I showed up and heard a screaming brat, I'd be straight back out the door, like Janis: Yeah, but he's even more clueless than you, like π Grace: Liar, you love being a sister-in-law to your bae's sibs Grace: And she's such a cutie π Grace: Excuse you! You better mean I've got the film aesthetic down, bitch Grace: I'm woke Janis: They don't cry, much Janis: and can both wipe their own arses Janis: I can deal with that, like Janis: Sure, sure π just saying, did he need such a rude awakening? couldn't just realise he weren't the one before dragging a kid into it Grace: Where's the lie, girl? Grace: Had that scare myself though, so can't shade too hard Grace: Even though I am π Janis: Boys Janis: So clueless, so stupid Janis: Not that Rio comes out looking much better but Janis: Hopefully we can get out of this without having to involve the law or the social π€ lads Grace: Literally! I'm not trying to go on a chatshow with this weave Grace: Trackies are more your vibe Janis: Gonna ask why, but now I get it Janis: Scared I'll snatch it live on air Grace: That or kick off and kick out at me in last season's nike air Grace: So shaming babe Janis: Fuck off π Janis: whatever I'm wearing cost twice as much as your overpriced topshop garbage Grace: Hence I'm not showing myself up like on air Grace: Catch me in labels or leave me out Janis: Unless you wanna fuck Nance Janis: the rich cousins are claimed Grace: EWW Grace: There are enough websites advertising sugar daddies if I can't pay my own bills Grace: no need to go gay or keep it in the family thanks Janis: I dunna, sounds like you wanna fill Ri's stripper shoes to me Janis: Take her place 'til she works of the baby weight Janis: No one would notice Grace: Girl you better stop! I don't have the body for that Grace: Even with baby weight she'd earn more in tips like Janis: Yeah, you're so butterz like Janis: its alright, pixels hide many sins Janis: and they've gotta be at least a little short-sighted with all the wanking they do Grace: OMG shut up Grace: So gross Grace: Like I haven't had enough online drama to fill a life Janis: I mean, was thinking it was quite the #brand switch-up but Janis: gotta get that viewer engagement baby Grace: π Janis: Please tell me Rio's gonna change its name tho Grace: What would she even choose tho? Grace: it's not that bad Grace: Heard more cringey ones Janis: Its awful Janis: Full on stripper name Janis: least give the kid a choice about it, like, eurgh Grace: What are you gonna name all your barista boy babies? I'm dying to know Grace: And judge Janis: Please Janis: I told you, not happening, so I ain't thought about it, have I? π Grace: π Grace: You so have Janis: Bitch no Janis: You were always in to knocking poor Barbie and co up Janis: not me, bitch shoulda kept living lavish Grace: You can do both Grace: Get with the times, babes Janis: Bullshit Janis: That's a lie yummy mummy's say to feel better about the fakeness of their labels, trust Grace: Mum did okay, hardly living in a cardboard palace, are we? Grace: And she had loads, I'm not thinking you'll go that hard Janis: Imagine how mint you'd have it as an only child though Janis: or if she had none Grace: Believe me I have Janis: Unlucky Janis: even if you were riding solo you're still #7 Grace: Lucky 7 π Janis: If that makes you feel better, babe π Grace: How soon do you think we're gonna all have to roll out and see the baby? Grace: It's gonna be soooooooooooo awkward Janis: Hopefully we'll just smooth over it like we do everything, eh Grace: Gonna have to take back all my yay gay & I love my two daddies gifts Janis: Good Janis: Vom inducing much Grace: Demi would've gushed and you know it Janis: Didn't take much Janis: #loose Grace: You're so savage about him Grace: You didn't even know him you said Janis: He was a prick, didn't need to look hard, or listen, to see it Grace: π Janis: If he was a top bloke Janis: Wouldn't have made Junie have a kid with him Grace: But you didn't know that's what he was doing, don't lie that hard, babe Janis: Yeah, I ain't saying that Janis: He's just an annoying cunt, standard Janis: but now we see the whole truth of it Grace: That boiling hot tea Janis: Just glad its another one off the Christmas card list Grace: Ugh true, can't treat myself and all of you Grace: Poor Junior though, his birthday is trash now Janis: Dunna why you bother, we're still young enough to not get side eye over it Janis: I got it fuck all, like Janis: Yeah, bad timing, worse luck forreal Grace: He should be loving life with uni over Grace: So tragic Grace: π Janis: Is he ever loving life Janis: Let's be real Grace: Ouch Grace: You've got a point though Janis: The facade is gone now though Janis: He'll have to deal with his shit like the rest of us Grace: mhm Grace: π Janis: This fucking family Grace: Your bf has it worse tho, his dad is a proper headcase, right? Janis: Yeah, he's a right cunt Grace: Seems like it from the little one's vibe Grace: He doesn't like you still either, how rude Grace: never gonna let you π in Janis: Yeah, you know your a right tosser when even kids don't fuck with you Janis: Idc, I'm unlikeable Grace: π Thanks for letting me off saying it Grace: You lovebirds need your own place Janis: π Janis: Working on it Janis: May as well wait to see where we go for college tho Grace: Yeah Grace: If he gonna do photography? He's really gifted at the snaps Janis: Yeah Grace: Make sure he doesn't forget my clout Grace: Or willingness as a subject Janis: π Janis: how could he forget Grace: SHUT UP Grace: you know what I'm saying, bitch! Janis: π Janis: got it, calling all men in need of muses, like Grace: π Grace: You doing a night walk with your dog squad later? Janis: Yeah, why, you scouting for πΆ talent? Grace: I'm just asking if I can come with or is 3 humans a crowd π Grace: The gym was such a non-event today οΏ½οΏ½οΏ½ Janis: You can come with Janis: No doubt Jim will think I'm bullshitting so you can fill him in on this ridiculousness Grace: yay Grace: he might not believe this face either even though it's one of a π obvs Janis: Overcome with a pressing need to take your photo, we get it, bitch π Grace: π Grace: Not hard to compete with your resting bitch face, babes Janis: Please Grace: And I don't need to hear how much he loves your O face before you go there, thanks Grace: TMI with the π© antics Janis: You're the one who brought it up, babe Janis: π€· kinda sounds like you want the goss Grace: Please Grace: I just know how nasty you are Janis: Now you just sound jealous π Grace: I said I love being single not that I love not getting any Grace: Excuse me Janis: π¬π€’ Janis: definitely did NOT ask Janis: gross Grace: You can cope Janis: Hmm Janis: Barely Grace: Pablo's literally tripped over you and your boy sooo many times Grace: but I'm the gross one, okay sure Janis: Maybe he's the gross one then Janis: Clearly doing it on purpose, weirdo Grace: Or maybe you are Grace: Exhibitionist Janis: Yeah, well want you lot to see Janis: Nutter π Janis: all up in my business 24/7 you gon' see some things Grace: π
0 notes