#hc . / ɪᴛ's ᴏʙᴠɪᴏᴜsʟʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ 【 ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ 】

[skaeptical-a]

your daily dose of x-files pain that i always think about is that in 8x14 and 8x15, when scully finds mulder and they presume him dead? she follows out with his wishes. peaks at his charts to make sure he’s really dead. helps arrange the funeral because they’ve had late night conversations and pillow talk about this ; about what happens if they die or end up in a coma. she does everything she can  medically and  extraterrestrially     to bring him back,   BUT   she also respects his living-will and wishes. it breaks her heart to put him in the ground. 

especially in deadalive (8x15) when they find out that he is not dead. that she was kept out of the loop on a lead and a hunch, and he is alive. there’s so much relief. there’s also so much pain, especially trying to process the grief she has gone through since mulder isn’t there with her during that time. she’s spent months without him at her side, months without him at lamaze classes, months deciding to let go of his apartment and taking the fish to care for them. (you bet she grieves when that molly dies....). then he’s back. he’s been  buried alive   for three months. she has to deal with knowing she finalized the paperwork, made the arrangements, and put him in the ground. he didn’t have a noticeable heartbeat, but she still blames herself because he had the shimmer of one. he had one enough to be alive. she feels like she’s failed him.

which is why when he comes back, she tries to give him everything he needs. a place to stay, work when he asks for it, space. literally whatever he needs. it breaks her heart not to be able to tell him out loud that the baby is his, but she can’t burden him with a truth he isn’t read for and doesn’t seem to want while searching for himself. that makes her mouthing    ‘it’s yours’    all the more painful.  

[skaeptical-a]

                             H E A D C A N O N        001.   RELIGION 

Does Scully still practice her faith later in life? If she doesn’t when or why did she stop?

LONG POST *

         this has to be one of my favorite thing to ever receive a question on, because scully’s catholicism certainly plays a large part outside of her role as a skeptic. while i do not think scully is a devote and goes every sunday and mass on every wednesday, CANONICALLY, especially in between I Want to Believe, season 10 and season 11, scully is at the forefront of her faith. the mentions are far from underlying, going as prominent to show scully in chapels and church, as well as referencing some prayers. HOWEVER, her   faith     and her    skepticism   often parallels and run in contradictions.  (so, the short answer, i believe scully holds some form of christian and catholic values but more so in the respect that her   skepticism  is symbolic for the head and    faith    is symbolic for the heart. a balance between thought and soul we see often parallel.)

         i want to believe   REALLY  delves into the parallels, too, where scully is trying to treat a child at a catholic hospital. she takes the methodical science route while the hospital’s influence is strictly relying upon god. granted, she comes to question her influence and decision, there is a clear struggle here between  i want to believe in god   and   here are the facts.

       to go through the season, though:

         in the episode revelations (3x11), scully makes a comment about not having gone to confessional for six years. it is often references that she has slipped away from her religion at the beginning of the series, stepping away from traditional church values to methodical science. yet, the struggle exists of a full closed circle, from faith to skeptic back to faith. (which i have a minor head canon elsewhere that mulder does influence her revelation with his own passionate beliefs.)

        i suppose some other great moments to discuss dana’s faith stem from within the cancer arc, where she questions full heartedly why she wears a cross when it seems to be little hope. during this arc, she blows off father mccue wanting to pray initially, but in the first two episodes of season 5, scully finds herself more certain and finds strength in her faith. father mccue re-enters and he ministers her faith.

         in orison 7x07 (when she kills pfaster), she talks about remembering a the song don’t look any further from her childhood when her sunday school teacher had been killed. in correlation, she draws the conclusion god is telling her something about pfaster, that he is not dead and that there is danger, especially after orison calls her scout. at the end, she holds a bible. there’s so much to unpack, but she weighs this heavy burden. a conflict between law and between god. scully believes in evil/the devil. she questions her own credibility and virtues. “who was at work in me? what made me pull the trigger?” mulder asks what, if it was god and she rebuts with “what if it wasn’t?”     WHICH during both episodes involving pfaster, dana sees the devil in pfaster, undoubtedly. dana proceeds to cast pfaster as evil incarnate. though, in s11, she also steps back and insists the devil does not exist, but she jokingly references that in case he does, i sleep with my back to the door.

         my favorite part of her religion stems from a quote in season 11, “prayers aren’t meant to be sentiment, it’s a conversation. you can do it like a meditation or if your needs exceed your grasp, you can ask god to act on your behalf.” though, scully does not use god as a crutch to actively pursue her own goals, despite strife and struggle, she only ever holds conversation with him. in a sense, god is a soundboard of her GRIEF, reasoning, or things she can’t explain/lacks guidance on, especially in emotional strides. (having to hope william is okay, praying mulder is alright after they split between i want to believe and s10, etc. though all within practicality. in a way, a therapy. it gives her someone to speak to when there is no one else around.)

         in short, she holds some catholic values. however, she does not practice to the full extent given her skepticisms and methodical science. again, science being the head  and  faith being her heart.

[skaeptical-a]

@foxbelieve​​ ASKED :  ✎ for a headcanon about our muses domestic life

MSR HC 001 .  SLEEPING HABITS & SUBTLE TOUCHES

          She wonders if insomnia’s contagious, nights plagued on his beliefs. Quiet groans escape her, frustrated with cold sheets and empty space. She’s come to realize it’s his absence, the faint hint of his cologne, aftershave, body wash      that linger in the air and seep home beneath her sheets.

          The two seem less at conflict when she’s there or he was here. It startles her independence to realize how much she misses him in those moments. 

          Point proves itself all too well, lithe frame caught against infamous leather couch. Cushions met her parallel, knee propped up and resting at the back. The other laid astride giving space between her legs where lanky form came to lay. His untamed hair was soothed at her palm, his cheek at rest against her stomach. In opposing hand, while classic played at his attention, her book slowly came to dip. Long blink fought in realm of defeat. Dexterous fingers absent-minded through his hair drew down to stroke his shoulder, splaying across the steady rise and fall of his back, book soon closing at the peak of her knee. Pages mingle in bothersome bends she’ll fix at a later time                   but  he’s asleep. She’s half way there too. 

         It’s not pure exhaustion or restless nights      

                                                                                 but a quiet bliss in comfort of their touches. 

OR  MSR HC 001.   she’s more comfortable seeking out his touch and giving it in return in their domestic life. the reservation she’s held slips away, letting herself invade his space and vise versa more so than before. (because these two have always had a sort of domestic relationship anyway.)