#having a small moment of clarity even if he doesn't fully understand it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

birdmitosis · 4 months

Note

💔 for the chapter 3 princesses?

💔 An angsty headcanon

Like Tower before Her, Apotheosis cannot really emotionally connect to individual people, but while Tower would be unhappy and lonely if She never had people around Her at all, Apotheosis has trouble with that. Individuals are just so small, even if they wanted to get near Her. The Protagonist would be the only one who could ease that for Her; without him, Apotheosis really is a supremely lonely god.

Den can still hear the cabin and the basement -- Her cage, Her pit -- talks to Her. It's why She's starving, malnourished. It tells Her that She deserves it after what She did.

Eye of the Needle, if Adversary progresses to that point, is far less capable of being able to readjust to a more normal life. She has gotten to a point where She constantly feels unsatisfied by never having the fight She was denied. She might not be forever doomed to that, but She may fall into the trap of eternally searching for it.

Fury's rage is stoked by a severe self-loathing. She hates what She has become and hates the Protagonist for turning Her into it. Without the Protagonist around, that rage is still there, but Her self-loathing eats at Her more. She is less than what She was, She thinks, and She can never get it back. She was denied that. She takes this to mean She can never be better, so She embraces being worse even though She doesn't want to. (As a less angsty headcanon, this makes me think She might get along with Witch/Thorn/that version of Wild.)

Burned Grey remembers trying so hard to accept the Protagonist destroying what few small desires She had: to leave the cabin with him, and to not die. She tried to accept his decision, even with tears in Her eyes, but now She accepts Her desires fully even if they hurt both Her and him. She would, I think, be the vessel most upset about never being allowed Her wish in the end if not for the full understanding that seems to come with reuniting with the Shifting Mound.

Drowned Grey cannot emote and cannot quite access Her own emotions in Her death. Unlike the Burned Grey, where the dry heat that consumes the entire Construct is an expression of Her desire to burn it all down and destroy it all -- which She fully feels and is aware of -- the constant rain in the Drowned Grey's route is Her sorrow fully externalized. She can't cry and She can't even quite feel like She wants to cry anymore, but the Construct itself weeps. She thinks that drowning the Protagonist is making him feel how She choked on Her own blood... It isn't, but She does want him to feel and understand Her: the emotions She can no longer access, She needs him to be fully faced with Her sorrow at being betrayed, at not being trusted, at not being understood.

Moment of Clarity is as broken down as the Protagonist and any of his voices. They are not the only ones who have done all of this over and over and over and over and over again, after all. And they have all exhausted every other option before finally freeing Her solely because they can no longer avoid it. They can no longer do anything else. The tender moment She shares with the Protagonist is almost despite Herself... He is finally, finally letting Her out and it almost looks like he made the choice to do so. She can almost pretend he made the choice to do so. But he tried so hard to put it off until choices just didn't exist for either of them anymore, didn't he?

Thorn still has so much Witch in Her. This isn't the headcanon; it's obvious if you choose literally any of the options other than finally freeing Her. My headcanon is that if She would, of course, sometimes continue to backslide into being more like Witch in negative situations. And She would hate it. There'd be a lot of uncertainty in Her still if She could actually be better, if She wasn't still the worst.

Networked Wild, if She could actually escape like that -- even with the Protagonist and the voices -- would still always feel incomplete and too afraid to ever risk looking at and facing what She'd done, what they had done, and what it might mean for all of them. They would probably always be doomed to fall apart at some point.

Wounded Wild feels incomplete, even if She will always feel grateful for the kindness, empathy, and companionship She receives "despite" being incomplete. Maybe She can work past that eventually, but it will take her a long time, and also a long time to really feel okay facing who and what She had been and done. (Again, a slightly less angsty headcanon, but I think this means Wounded Wild-from-Beast would get along well with Thorn.)

Wraith wants so, so badly to be able to heal Her relationship with the Protagonist and to forgive him and the voices. She wants it so badly She can't let herself realize it. The one moment She allows herself to is when, if they toss themselves and Her into the abyss, She asks "WHY DO YOU HATE ME?" Her laughter that follows is at Herself for Her folly.

SPECIAL CASES:

Arms Race/No Way Out doesn't know how to be anything other than a weapon, doesn't know how to do anything other than hurt the Protagonist. Doesn't know how to want anything else. She is joy in Her purpose, but She is nothing outside of it. She likes him, yes, but She doesn't know what to do with it. She is -- ironically, given the name of the alternate Chapter IV -- empty, maybe even more so than the Deconstructed Damsel.

Mutually Assured Destruction/Empty Cup panics because She does not know how to be anything other than what She is. If She steps out into the unknown -- if She changes -- what is She? Is She nothing if She is not the one who hurts the Protagonist? All She can do when Her armor and sharp edges crumple and strip away is to put Her heart in his hand and trust that he will be able to lead Her to what comes next.

Stranger doesn't have a Chapter III at all, but so They aren't left out entirely: what happened shook Them all up really badly at first. It wasn't just Harsh, Neutral, and Soft all pleading with the Protagonist at the end of their chapter, but Emo and even Monster as well.

45 notes · View notes

avelera · 1 year

Text

So I really thought the plot of S2 of Good Omens was going to include a beat where either Crowley went back to being an angel or Aziraphale accidentally Fell, and I wanted to walk through some of the moments I thought were leading to such a Side-Swap between Aziraphale and Crowley, in part because some of them revolve around mysteries that still haven't been fully explained:

When Crowley went out to the street and had his lightning strike "freakout", I truly thought that was maybe a hint that he had flipped sides (accidentally?) back to being an angel

One reason being the "tiny miracle" he and Aziraphale perform later. Why did it fail so dramatically that it set off the klaxon alarms in Heaven?

One theory I had was that Crowley had already reverted back to being an angel, without realizing, so their miracles didn't cancel each other out. Instead, two heavenly miracles occurred which, combined, created that huge outpouring of power visible from Heaven.

The other theory I had was that the miracle to disguise Gabriel was a tiny, quiet miracle, that it totally worked as intended. The alert Heaven got was Crowley's lightning strike, which was also on the same street, right next to Aziraphale's shop. I thought there'd be a twist around that location confusion, and we'd learn that the power outpouring was from Crowley becoming an angel again. Sadly, no dice on that front (the timing didn't quite work either, and I did enjoy the smash cut to their "quiet" miracle not being so quiet)

Note: We still don't have clarity on why their "tiny miracle" failed so spectacularly!

In the second episode we had so many scenes of Aziraphale questioning his faith in God. Of treading the line. Of lying. Of doing all this behavior that felt just a sneeze away from him Falling.

We have that famous book-based line where Crowley wonders aloud if they got it wrong the whole time, wouldn't it be funny if he did the right thing and Aziraphale did the wrong one? Aziraphale doesn't think that possibility is funny at all, but there are so many small indications and subtle hints that Aziraphale acts in a demonic manner and Crowley in an angelic one.

Note: We still don't have a resolution as to whether Aziraphale's questioning of God will lead to anything. Could be an S3 thing.

Not just in the Resurrectionist plotline where Aziraphale truly does not understand how his nitpicking over the corpse sale led not just to Elspeth and Morag possibly starving, but it directly led to Morag's death. All for the want of a corpse they couldn't even return? Aziraphale's actions were wall to wall evil in that episode. In contract, Crowley not only does favors for Aziraphale this season, he explicitly does not ask for repayment for them. They are truly selfless acts. This is in addition to saving the goats and Job's children.

The thing is, I just couldn't tell if those moments of Angelic Crowley and Demonic Aziraphale were plot points or simple character quirks along the lines of "Just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" - were we just being reminded that these two are both gray? It felt like Crowley did too much good and Aziraphale did too much evil for it to be a quirk rather than a plot point, but then... it wasn't a plot point. Like at all. There was no Falling this season.

When we saw Crowley in Heaven, I really wondered if the fact he could hack into Muriel's files wasn't just a poor password but because Crowley had already, accidentally, Redeemed himself or Risen or whatever you want to call it. I wondered if it was a Clue.

Note: We never got answers as to why or how Crowley was able to hack through Muriel's system. Probably it's been left for S3 but at the very least we got new questions raised around Crowley's power level as an angel and what his power level is currently.

(On that note, did the Gabriel statue ever fucking matter? What was the point of that whole thing? Just a weird statue, that was all??)

When Aziraphale took off his halo, I was excited for the possibility that THIS was it, THIS was when he would reject his angelic nature SOMEHOW, perhaps by necessity to save the shop and Nina and Maggie. Instead it was just... a weapon??? Somehow?? I thought he was doing the same thing as proverbially ripping off his own wings.

Basically, I wanted an ending where Crowley and Aziraphale kiss an reunite and realize they really are so important to one another, they've connected, they've inspired each other, they've changed each other... all at the absolute worst possible moment. If either had Fallen or Risen first, they could have been on the same side, instead I wanted to see them figuratively or literally torn in opposite directions into a Heaven/Hell that they loathe but can't escape because technically, all that you need to do is trust or distrust God in order to Fall or Rise, and it can't be easily or quickly faked, because it's about faith and it took them millennia to find or lose their faith, they can't just go "Whoops, never mind, actually I don't trust/I do trust God after all!" just to get out of it.

Frick I just really wanted to see Angelic Crowley and Demonic Aziraphale absolutely fucking miserable at their situation just as yet another Apocalypse kicks off, so they have to navigate that and the fact they're totally out of their depth in their new lives and they miss each other desperately.

Maybe I'm just too much of a angst muffin but damn, there were so few stakes, so little that was lost or threatened this season. Literally, Aziraphale could turn around right now and do the silly apology dance and really, it would all be a wash, Crowley would take him back in a second. They're not in peril, nothing was truly lost, they're barely separated at this point what with Aziraphale's new status there's really no reason he couldn't even visit Crowley. Barely anything has changed - Crowley always knew that Aziraphale was faithful to Heaven, he just has a promotion now that technically gives him more latitude to call the shots, which could easily mean a lot of time spent on Earth with Crowley too.

*Sigh* I'd probably be less bothered if I didn't feel like there were signs everywhere that some sort of Fall/Rise was coming, unwillingly, for one of them. Maybe it'll still happen in S3! Who knows!

#good omens #good omens spoilers #spoilers #good omens meta

95 notes · View notes

bi-bard · 3 years

Text

Milkshakes - Team Free Will Imagine (Supernatural)

Title: Milkshakes

Pairing: Team Free Will X Platonic!Fem!Reader (as put in the request)

Requested: @gabrielasilva1510

Word Count: 1,846 words

Warning(s): violence, death

Summary: [Early Season 11 (Before Episode 10)] Sam and Dean think that there's something that can be The Darkness. Castiel warns them but... who knows? Maybe God's ultimate weapon isn't as scary as it seems.

Author's Note: I used dodie for outfit inspiration because the outfit matched the vibe but change it if you want. I only used a female read because it's in the request and it helped with clarity because the whole imagine is in 3rd person (I do usually use they/them pronouns in my work). Finally, I thought the milkshake flavor sounded good, but you can change it in your mind if you want to.

Hey! I did a rewrite of the ending of Supernatural. It took a really long time to complete, so it would mean a lot to me if you check it out. Here’s a link! (it’s on my personal account)

----------------------------------------

--Third Person P.O.V--

Sam was leaning over a lore book in the library. It was too early for him to be so focused on the book but he felt like he needed to. The Darkness being released was his fault, he needed to find a solution.

Dean walked in from the kitchen with a cup of coffee and was clearly still half-asleep. He sat across from his brother.

"What're you reading," Dean grumbled out in between sips of coffee.

"I found this book about the most powerful beings," Sam explained. "Most of them are just rumored to exist but I thought it'd give us a jumping-off point on where to find something to help us defeat Amara."

"Anything interesting," Dean asked.

"A Nephilim; kid of an angel and a human," Sam said. "There's no mention that they could kill someone as powerful as God. Then there's..."

Sam trailed off and went back through the book, hunting for a particular page he had read nearly an hour ago. He pointed to the page once he found it.

"This doesn't even have a name but it describes a creature created by God to be a weapon," Sam explained. "I was doing some snooping on some message boards when I first found out about it. There's a lot of religious nuts and self-proclaimed hunters who think this thing is gonna be the end of the world. They say it's a prophecy that can't be stopped."

"And you think hunting it down is a good idea," Dean asked.

"Listen, I don't think it's fair to think this thing wants to end the world," Sam replied. "I think it's the best choice we have right now."

"Alright, fine, where do we look," Dean asked.

The boys didn't have to look far before Castiel popped into the library. He asked where they had gotten on their path to defeat Amara. His eyes went wide when they explained what they wanted to do.

"Are you two insane," Castiel asked.

"Listen-"

"No, I know more about this than either of you," the angel stopped Dean's argument. "This creature could kill you both with a look and end the world with a flick of the wrist and you want to track it down?!"

"Isn't it worth trying," Sam asked.

"'Trying,'" Castiel was so unbelievable done with the idiotic decisions of the Winchesters at that point.

"If we don't try something, then Amara kills all of us anyways," Dean said. "We need something Cas. This could be the thing."

Castiel sighed, letting his head fall forward for a moment before looking back up at the boys.

"Fine," Castiel threw his hands up. "Do you know how to find this thing?"

"Looks like a spell," Sam turned the book so Castiel could look at the page. "We should have everything. It's strange no one's tried-"

"Succeeded," Castiel corrected. "People have probably tried if the spell is so simple."

"Okay, good, let's get the supplies and give it a shot," Dean clapped his hands and stood up.

In a matter of minutes, the boys and their angel were back around the table and ready to start the spell.

Castiel and Dean jumped when Sam grabbed a knife and nicked his hand.

"One of us needs to be bonded," Sam explained. "Like a human compass. It feels right that it's me."

He didn't wait for the other two to respond before he started reading the spell of the book. Castiel and Dean exchanged a look for a moment.

As he finished the spell, a purple flame shot up from the bowl for a second. Sam felt his arm tingling from the wound up. He shook it out, trying to understand what it was telling him.

States over, a young girl, a college student visiting home, is sitting in a booth at a small diner.

In between page turns, she sits up straight. Her eyes flash the same purple as the flame from the spell before she snaps out of the trance.

She looks around. Everything feels different. It's like the air had shifted around her. She furrowed her eyebrows... what the hell was that?

--time skip--

Dean pulled the impala up to the curb of the street. The three of them look at the nice house. White picket fence, two stories, a garden.

"Are you sure about this," Dean asked Sam. "This seems like a pretty normal house."

Sam nodded, "I can feel it. It's here."

"Alright, let's go," Dean replied.

The three of them got out of the car and made their way up the pathway. None of them knew what fight they were going to get once they opened that door. It could've been a deadly fight. They may not have even had a chance to fight.

Still, with one last silent check with the others, Dean lifted his hand and knocked on the door.

The last thing they expected was for a girl to open the door with a wide smile. She had a white dress on with an orange cardigan over the top.

"Hello," she said happily. "What can I help you with?"

"Sam," Dean looked at his brother. Sam just nodded. He could feel it in his gut. "What's your name?"

"(Y/n)," the girl replied. "And you are?"

"I'm Sam," the taller man answered. "This is Dean and Cas."

"Nice to meet you," she held a hand out.

Sam awkwardly accepted, shaking her hand. They both froze, eyes flashing purple before they both stepped back from each other.

"That was weird," (Y/n) mumbled, frowning at her hand. "What was that?"

The boys looked at each other but before they could speak, there was a crash from inside the house. The girl jumped.

"Who's that," Dean asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "My parents are gone. No one else is supposed to be here."

Sam and Dean grabbed their guns before all of them walked inside.

Before they could get any answers for themselves, an angel rounded the corner and tried to grab (Y/n), who ran behind the others as soon as she saw the angel.

She stumbled backward toward the wall in shock and fear. She covered her mouth as the more angels walked into her living, not that she knew that's who they were.

Sam, Dean, and Cas were getting thrown around.

"Stop," Sam yelled as they walked toward (Y/n).

"We need something to defeat the Darkness," one of the angels said. "This is our option. Thank you for leading us to her."

(Y/n) was shaking more as she listened. The Darkness? Why was she so important to them? To the boys or the others who had broken into her house?

"Come on, (Y/n)," one of the angels had a hand out to her. She shook her head and the angel chuckled. "Fine. Make this harder."

The others came running at her.

"No," she yelled, dropping to the ground, and covering herself with her arms.

A pulse of energy shot out. The angels that had broken in had burned in front of her.

Dean, Sam, and Cas looked at each other.

(Y/n) slowly looked up from where she was.

"Hey," Sam walked over, kneeling next to her. "You alright?"

"What was that," she asked, shaking. "Who are you? Who were they? What did I do?"

"Hey, hey," Sam touched the girl's shoulders. "It's alright. Hey... how about we go somewhere to calm down? How about some food, yeah? Is there a restaurant nearby or something?"

She nodded. Sam helped her stand up fully and led her to the impala. Dean and Cas sat in the front while Sam and (Y/n) took the backseat.

(Y/n) rambled about a small diner nearby, giving Dean quick directions before falling silent again.

The four of them took a booth in the farthest back corner. (Y/n) sat leaning against the wall, Sam next to her and Cas and Dean across from her.

"Umm... do you know what you want," Sam asked quietly, making (Y/n) aware of the waitress there.

She was an old friend, "You alright, (Y/n)?"

"Yeah," (Y/n) nodded. "I'm just a little tired. Umm... can I get a cherry vanilla milkshake?"

"That it for you, dear," the waitress checked. (Y/n) nodded with a grin, playing with the end of her cardigan's sleeves.

The waitress took the other three's orders before walking away.

"Who were those people," (Y/n) asked. "Why did they break into my house?"

"Because God made you a weapon," Cas said bluntly, making (Y/n)'s eyes go wide.

"A weapon?"

"He means," Dean jumped in, "you have powers that you don't know about. That's why you were able to get rid of those angels."

"Those were angels," she tried to keep her voice down. They all nodded. "I thought angels were supposed to be good?"

"They are supposed to follow orders," Cas corrected. "Not all of them are good."

She nodded, "Are you guys angels?"

"No, well, Sam and I aren't," Dean pointed between him and his brother. "Cas is."

"Oh," she muttered. "You're not-"

"I'm not gonna force you to go to heaven to defeat the Darkness," Cas promised.

"The Darkness," she said. "What's that? Why do I need to fight it?"

"The Darkness is... kind of our fault," Sam explained. "She's trying to create a new world in her image, which includes destroying this one."

"So, how'd you find me," she asked.

Before they could answer, the waitress came back, dropping off their food and drinks. (Y/n) leaned forward and took a sip of her milkshake and grinned to herself for a moment.

The boys were so confused. This was God's weapon?

"Well, Dean and I are hunters," Sam continued once (Y/n) back over to him. "We hunt monsters. Our grandpa was part of this group, the Men of Letters. They have a book in their collection that talks about you. There was a spell that led us to you."

She nodded but furrowed her eyebrows. Monsters? God? Hunters? After what had happened today, she struggled to deny all of it but was still hesitant to believe them?

"Well, if the Darkness knows I can defeat... her... won't she be looking for me too," (Y/n) asked.

"We can keep you safe," Dean promised.

"You're sure?"

"As sure as possible," he nodded.

(Y/n) looked down for a moment, "Okay. I'll go with you. I just... I need to get some stuff from my house and tell my parents that I'll be gone."

"You can't tell them where you're going or why," Dean said. "It'll put them in danger."

She bit her lip, "If it saves them in the long run, fine."

(Y/n) asked a lot more questions that day as they ate in the diner. They told her about monsters and the big bads they had faced. Monsters' weaknesses and abilities. Their other hunting buddies. People she could trust.

Sam, Dean, and Cas trusted her immediately. They felt like they needed to. Like she was a person to rely on.

And there- over a cherry vanilla milkshake- (Y/n) watched her entire life change forever.

----------------------------------------

Masterlist

What I Write For

Request Guidelines

Musical Prompts

Small Moments With…

When Worlds Collide (Doctor Who Crossover Series) Masterlist

Some Original Characters

folklore/evermore Writing Challenge (and Masterlist)

#supernatural x reader #supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfiction #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester imagine #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester fanfiction #castiel x reader #castiel imagine #castiel fanfiction #team free will x reader #team free will fanfiction #team free will imagine #imagine #fanfiction #x reader

175 notes · View notes

jjk-anime-horray · 3 years

Text

Confessions and Conclusions

Dazai Osamu x reader x Oda Sakunosuke

Series Summary: While Dazai finally gets over the death of his friend and moves on with his life, he has to watch him unnaturally return into the would, and now he has to watch him turn twisted and into everything he hated in a way.

Chapter Summary: Dazai finishes his confession to (Y/N)

Previous Chapter: Clarity

“(Y/N), listen, I think i’m in love with you.”

“What?”

"I'm in love with you (Y/N)."

Staring in shock, you eyes widened as looked right at the form in front of you. You didn't know what to think, this is not what you were expecting to hear in this conversation. You were expecting something more along the lines of 'Y/N, help me with the sexual tension I have with Chuuya' not this. This was just unexpected, especially from Dazai's past behavior it didn't match up at all, it was just confusing. This couldn't be a joke could it?!? You needed answers.

"I uh- " The words started to dissolve into your mouth when you tried to speak. With a brisk cough into your hand you recenter your thoughts.

"How long have you, you know, liked me? or do you know when you started?"

"I couldn't tell you an exact time when I started, I guess it was pretty gradual in it's development. But, I would be lying to myself if I didn't say I haven't found you fascinating since the night you wandered into lupin when you first arrived in Yokohama."

"That long are you serious?!"

"Well I didn't say I loved you then, but I did find you interesting. I probably first started realizing my feelings towards you when Odasaku was resurrected, i'm not sure why, but it just triggered something inside me that I don't fully understand." Then he looked down into his lap, with a noticeable tinge of red on his face, he noted an important detail. "and frankly i've never felt before until you came along."

Then it clicked in your head, the night when you found him crying on the park bench. You head couldn't help but bring up the words he said to you then: “I just need someone to hold onto right now.” Then you realize all your subtle interactions with him. Your lengthy conversations that you never get bored with.

You thought back to the night you two first met. When you first ran away from your past life and into Yokohama. The rainy night where you happened to stumble into same back bar he was at. The connection you felt with him even back then you felt with him now. The same curiosity and mutual understanding that you felt for each other. The unspoken words that seemed to flow right through the ears of both of you and though your minds like you were actually saying them yourselves.

Looking into his beautiful chocolate eyes you could almost peer into his memories and see the events from his point of view. His hidden worry when you got hurt. His seceret jealousy when you attended the gala with his rival and ex-partner. His concealed adoration and infatuation with you that he tried to cover up with his usual facade to the rest of the agency. The pain he felt, the loss, the sorrow, and the genuine happiness when he was with you. The small sassy chit-chat he would take part with you.

The both of you had walked into the cafe like the first night you had met. Him arriving first and had already taken a seat, and you sauntering in after. The only difference in this is this time you two planned to meet each other. Dazai was there because of Odasaku, just under different circumstances. You were there to find answers, except this time they were about Dazai and not your self. And both of you were there to just let yourself sit on your decisions, just like the first time.

It didn't really matter what events were going on around you when you two were together, the two of you could sit in this room together, looking into each other for as long as you wanted for all you cared at the moment, it was just you, and him.

All the cases the two of you took together, the dangers you've encountered, it all lead up to this moment. Him sitting across from you. You could look into his eyes and solidly know that he wasn't lying about any of this. He could be the person he was around you, you couldn't conceal anything from him like he could from you. Because he was gazing into your eyes like you were to him.

And when the lady who always serves you two when you go out to get coffee takes your order, instead of your usual you say surprise me.

Finally when you two get your coffees the two of you already know the feelings you hold for each other are mutual.

"Life sure has it's moment's doesn't it."

"Yep, It sure does."

But this time when the two of you clink your cups you hand is encased in his. Everything else was the exact same as how you two left it.

That was the end everyone! I know it might seem like oh you didn't solve the major conflicts in the story you made, but that was actually my intentions. The story wasn't supposed to fix all the cities problems, it was actually just supposed to be closure for Dazai and the reader. The truth is that two people can't fix everything, but they can find comfort and love in each other in unusual circumstances. Feel free to ask about any questions or comments you all might have.

#dazai osamu #dazai x you #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd au #bungou stray dogs au #bsd #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs #fanfiction #odasaku x dazai #odasaku x reader #x reader #anime #weeb #manga

27 notes · View notes

letters-from-eros · 4 years

Text

Pairing: Kirishima Eijiro x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst To Fluff

Form: Oneshot. Songfic

AU: Hanahaki disease.

A/N: I had to edit this so hard for me to like it at all 😭 I hope you all enjoy.

Thank you.

You laid down, sprawled out on your bed with flower petals surrounding you. You think they're petals from a rose but they could just be stained in blood. You honestly didn't really understand how your condition worked, even though the extensive research you did and the consults with doctors. What you did know is that you're grateful that you haven't started coughing up blood, which is a side effect of progressed Hanahaki; AKA you're conditon/disease. It was obvious you had bigger and better things to worry about than Kirishima (the cause of the suffocating disease) but the petals were a constant reminder of him. You wonder if he thinks about you at least a tenth of how much you think about him.

The only people who know about your... Condition, is Jiro and Mina, your two best friends. Jiro is there to comfort you, though she can't quite understand why you would go through so much pain just to hold feelings for someone, Mina's there to try to make Jiro understand the importance of love and to make you happier about the situation. You couldn't ask for better friends, honestly.

The lump in your throat starts to form and come up and you take a deep breath and let the cough come, sitting upright, expelling the flowers. After the coughing fit is done you're left panting but there was something that didn't have the petals just fall out of your hand. You look at your hand that you coughed into.

Blood. It was laced on the flower making it oddly stick to you're hand.

You quickly went to the bathroom to flush the petals you just coughed up and wash the remainder of blood off your hands before rushing back to your room to call your two support units. You fumble with your phone before you manage to start a group call.

One ring, Mina is in.

"Hey, what's up?!" She asked in a cheery tone

"One second..." You hoarsely respond, waiting for Jiro.

3 rings, Jiro picks up.

"Sorry, couldn't hear my phone over my music, what's up you guys?" Jiro says in her usually monotone voice.

"I... I coughed up blood, guys," You confess to them.

"Y/N..." Jiro sighed, you could practically hear the head shaking and facepalming.

"It's time to confess, hun. And if he doesn't reciprocate it you can go get the procedure," Mina said in a fairly sassy tone, referencing the procedure I could take to make sure I would never cough up flowers again but that would iradicate my feelings for Kirishima.

"Yeah, I know. I'm not a blinded by love idiot," You respond, matter of factly.

"Thank god.." Jiro scoffed and you and Mina chuckled.

"So how am gonna ask him out?" You ask your polar opposite best friends.

Timeskip

You see Kirishima and Bakugo argue over... Something, at Bakugo's desk that was on the other side of the classroom than yours. You watch the clock tick for a few seconds before you start writing your note.

'Meet me at the auditorium,

-Vines'

That was his nickname for you, vines. It referenced your quirk called the same thing. Oh the irony that you can sprout vines from your palms and control plants then you get a disease to cough up flowers.. The doctor who you went to to consult when you first starting coughing up the petals actually said that your quirk had the possibility to make the condition worst.

The bell rang and Bakugo and Eijiro continued arguing. You quickly left class and slipped the note into his prior to hurrying to the Auditorium.

Once you got there you found Mina adjusting her stool for the drums (Bakugo taught her how to play them) and Jiro tuning her bass. They both faked illness at some point of class to go set up the stage.

"Hey there, lover girl," Jiro said into the mic as you threw your backpack into some random chairs on the back row.

"Aren't you supposed to say check one two?" You snarkily replied. Once you got on stage you adjusted the height of your mic stand so that the mic was at your mouth.

The plan was great. You're gonna sing a cool love song that was playing in your earbuds when you first met Kirishima. You hope to god he doesn't have the memory of a goldfish and remembers the fact, especially after already telling him multiple times prior to conceiving the idea to sing to him. It was your favorite song because of that reason..

Two plants were on both sides of the door, you focus your quirk to move the plant vases to the middle of the main aisle, curling the branches into an intricate design that ultimately formed a heart.

"Pretty~" Mina spoke up in awe, staring at it. It was somewhat rare for you to use your quirk for something other than combat and it can be forgotten you can do cool, small things like this.

The door starts to creek open as Jiro and Mina start playing the beginning instrumentals. You start to sing the beginning verse as Eijiro fully comes into the auditorium, already awe struck.

Eijiro Kirishima's POV

"All I wanted was you," Y/N strong yet smooth voice sings, bouncing off the auditorium walls. I've get to hear her sing on rare occassions and I don't think I love anything more, well except for Y/N herself but unlike her singing I have to keep that love to myself...

I take a few steps further down the isle as an instrumental sounds off. Her quirk is so cool to add this beautiful and manly arbor, I doubt anything like this could be bought at a store.

I try to focus solely on her voice, but the thought keeps ringing in the back of my head onto why am I the only one watching? I know this song held significance us, but this seems so sudden. I am a man for spontaneity yet something like this seems random nonetheless. I should just focus on her singing.

Your POV

The ball starts to form in your throat towards the end of the song, you try to surpress it but your voice cracks just slightly, which is so embarrassing.. Which makes you focus on how stupid you're probably looking out of embarrassment which leads to you not focusing on the flowers which make them launch out in coughs. You pull the microphone away as weakening coughs expell the roses. After your coughing fit theres a bed of rose petals, each one dotted with at least a little blood.

A pair of strong arms make you stand up straight before entrapping you.

"You have Hanahaki?" Kirishima questioms softly, barely above a whisper. Apparently he's heard of the disease. Didn't he do a very botched project on it once..?

"Mhm..." You confirm. He nuzzles his forhead into the crook of your neck as you hug him tighter.

"Because of me?" He questions again, sounding guilty, it took a second to process that if it was him, it meant that you reciprocated his feelings. The question was fueled by his instant assumption to blame himself.

"Mhm..." You respond, a bit to anxious to respond in full words, let alone full sentences.

"I'm so sorry.. I had no idea.. Y/N," He says, drawing away and looking into your eyes, hands moving to either side of your face. "Y/N.. I love you so much, I'm so sorry I didn't show you sooner.. I never meant to hurt you!"

How unmanly was the only word that Kirishima could think of to describe his cowardice to tell you how he feels, only to see that it left you with a painful disease. The supporting grip on your waist tightened, and the man in front of you looked like he was about to shatter into a thousand pieces.

"Its okay! There was no way you could've known!"

"But-"

"It isn't you're fault, please don't blame yourself.." You empathetically started to mirror Kirishima's feeling of guilt and sadness and your smile slowly turned into a dejected one.

Strong arms wrapped completely around you in a tight hug, causing you both to wobble a bit.

"I'm so sorry.. Uh, d-don't I need to kiss you? To get rid of the.. The flowers, I mean," A warm tint that complemented his hair flushed across his cheeks as he thought back to his botched project on Hanahaki. Requited feelings was enough to keep the disease at bay.

"Not if you don't want to, Kiri," You smiled warming at the flustered teen in front of until a rough collision of lips against yours. It was filled with anxiety and awkwardness from the redheads behalf with this being the first time kissing anyone, let alone someone who he loved as much as you.

"Woo!!" Jirou catcalled, exiting the auditorium with a playful smile

"Yaaaasssss!!!" Mina cheered.

They were already gone by the time you both had pulled away from the kiss, leaving you both at a complete and utter loss for words.

You relished in the feeling of breaths unclogged with suffocating flowers, the feeling on Kirishima's soft, lingering hold across your waist that he didn't even know was there. There are no words in the english dialect to describe this moment of blissful clarity. It was hard for you to even come up with words to say.

So many feelings to express, but all that came out was a soft, grateful, "Thank you."

#my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #mha #boku no hero academia x reader #mha x reader #my hero academia songfic #kirishima eijiro #kirishima #kirishima x reader #mha kirishima #kirishima imagine #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima eijiro fluff

66 notes · View notes