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unorthodoxdeity · 2 years

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that last post didn't scratch the itch im making a long post. all my thoughts. all my opinions. my life story. this literally does not matter and is paragraphs of bullshit but i dont want to feel like im operating with a filter so im putting it out. your regularly scheduled programming will resume shortly but for now this is happening.

Okay so I've been in fandom spaces for a while. They've morphed and changed quite a bit. I think they have all the same problems just manifested differently. It also feels more isolated. They feel quieter. I don't know if it's because most of my fandoms are dead and I havent adapted well to whatever else is happening but it feels like fandom culture is on its deathbed in a way. Well not fandom culture as a whole, that will always exist in some form. I think its moreso just a metamorphosis mixed with me being into older content with smaller followings. This is just my view. I have zero wider perspective on what the whole is like. I couldn't tell you of any big places to talk about fandom related things that aren't vaguely tumblr and twitter. There will always be dedicated pockets of something. This is just about my pocket. The whole it's more isolated thing is also probably just my problem.

I've seen the shipping debate happening my entire time here. It's always existed in different ways. I think there are a lot of ways you could define both sides. I think there are a lot of things both sides have to argue over. It depends on the person and how they view the debates really. I know a lot of people define it on terms of harassment and others define it on terms of what they're morally okay with harassment or no harassment.

I'm not going to attempt to pin definitions on either side currently mostly because I just don't care. I think that miscommunication is what stifles a lot of progress though. There isn't reslly much to progress to either way. People will do what they think is right and its not like there's any solid achievable end goal for either side (in my eyes, someone might have a reachable goal idk).

I've been involved with the debate a lot. When I was like 10-12 I was a proshipper by definition I guess. I didn't call myself that. I didn't care I just shipped what I wanted.

When I grew a bit older and started getting involved with more online debate I became an anti. I actually called myself that one. I don't know what flicked the switch. I think I was turned off by the gung ho "I'm going to draw fucked up shit for shock value" attitude a lot of proshippers had. It was the whole "these damn puriteens" "get minors off the internet" and general talking down to people who had legitimate concerns thing that ruffled my feathers looking back. I know most proshippers are not like this. I also know a lot of it wasn't for shock value.

There were a lot of reasons people did the things they did. Some were coping, some were approaching it with the same attitude I had when I was 12. A lot of them were sick and tired of people trying to talk down to them with their concerns as if they had the full moral highground. Nobody really likes the holier than thou attitude unless they agree with the person I've found which is reasonable. Who wants to be told what to do?

That carried on. I debated with people with the same high horse that I hated on other people. Then I got tired. Every time I opened my phone my heart was racing it was so dumb lmao. Arguing was like crack. I eventually realized that and just stopped. It wasn't just the shipping debate I was involved in those stupid identity politics and was involved with more important actual politics and debating homophobes and people who were probably trolls. Probably not the healthiest thing in the world. Did not do my health any favors. One day i just stopped.

I don't know what flipped that switch I think I just tuckered myself out. I didn't go on social media much. I went outside and touched grass as I had told so many people to do. The grass was nice. The sun was shining and there were even trees and real people (woah).

Then quarantine eventually happened and I was inside and online. I wasn't in my old unhinged frenzy though, I actually went back and deleted all of my accounts to start from scratch. I had no opinions on much fandom discourse and the opinions I did have I just kept to myself. I still saw things that pissed me off but that wasn't my problem.

I downloaded tumblr again after like years. Joined fandom spaces. Once again was faced with that old discourse. Ironically enough a ship I had enjoyed was confirmed to be incest and I was in such a quarantined haze at that point I just said fuck it and forced myself to agree with proshippers and quite literally abandoned any moral values I had. Looking back that was so funny. I never treated it like a fall from grace. I treated it like a fuck you.

It wasn't that dramatic or anything. I wasn't punching the air and seething when I saw either side. I was moreso just doing what I wanted because I could and happened to interact with proshippers so I just like called myself that. I became more involved with their values and oh boy my horse is getting higher!!!

I think that's just a problem I have when it comes to any sort of debate. I get really full of myself. That's fucking annoying I know. Anyways as I was flexing how cool and subversive I was I realized I wasn't having fun anymore. That happened any time I got too wrapped up in an ideology. It was no longer about the thing it was about the approach to the thing. I did a similar thing with identity politics. I wasn't me I was my labels.

I feel like this was a really bad representation of how I was as a proshipper. I kind of framed it as me intentionally agreeing with them but it wasn't just that. It was like another flip switched but it was also moreso me swallowing my pride and that pride getting replaced with a different kind of pride. I wasn't in as much as an unhinged frenzy because I had set rules on How I can debate. (No debating after 9pm, you can not respond if they don't respond in under 10 minutes, if you call them names you have to stop ect.). It was tamer because I had to learn how to be tame and I did. It worked. The rules started to become more rigid and my urge to debate almost depleted.

I stopped focusing outward and returned to how I was when I was 12 almost. I shipped my fuckshit and had an occasional gloat about my moral superiority over those damn antis. Nothing really special for a twitter user.

I made friends during my stay in both communities. They were all good people. None of the people I befriended threatened anybody or did anything you heard from those horror stories. None of them were pedophiles. They were just opinionated nerds most of which had trauma that guided their opinions. You were also bound to be outcast if you disagreed with them though. It's how relationships formed based off opinions go, especially online.

I don't talk to any of them anymore, there was no fight we just drifted apart. That was okay. I can't say my stay in either community was better or worse than the other. I think most of it was determined by my self control. How much I would indulge in being vile to someone and having them be vile back in retaliation. I did forget to have fun along the way in both though.

I've come to the conclusion I don't necessarily like being part of any community. I don't like the culture of either.

For starters I don't like how people on both sides will accuse the other of being pedos (proshippers accusing antis of projecting, antis accusing proshippers of being pedos because of fiction). It's just baselessly throwing around something that's become a buzzword.

I don't like how a lot of fetishization gets wrapped up in the proship community (specifically towards trans people). I don't like how poppytwt formed (i know a lot of proshippers agree with me on this one) or rpf. I don't like how both sides call the other cult like because it's also baselessly throwing buzzwords around. The comparisons of legitimate real world issues sparked by religious institutions also rubs me entirely the wrong way.

I don't like how some antis feel the need to "punish" proshippers. It's not your place and once you start hurting real world people over fiction you're just making yourself into the badguy in the situation. I've also seen proshippers intentionally go out of their way to give antis similar treatment. Equally dumb. Neither community is a hivemind but yknow. Those sour apples exist everywhere.

I think i just generally don't like being told what to do or dictated. Yes that's childish I know.

Idk I think both have their reasons. Like yes it's just fiction and yes fiction does have impacts, I think those can coexist. When it comes to harassment I don't think that's cool in any context when it spawns from fiction. That probably makes me a proshipper in a lot of people's books and like if that's your framework of viewing it cool.

I think I've just chosen to like. Win the game by not playing. I'm not either purely because I choose not to be and just do what I want outside of that. That's probably annoying. Which is fair.

I don't hate people that choose to allign themselves with either side they're not like less than or anything. If you're not going around harassing anybody then you're always chill. Like idk just because I find the debate annoying and tiresome doesn't mean I find most people like that. If that makes any sense idk. Moreso to say its my problem not yours. Like most of my distaste for debate comes from what I've experienced due to my own lack of self control.

It also kinda feels like running with a filter though. Like I'm so worried about getting back to that point I avoid saying half the things I want to say. Then that leads to a little burnout of its own because of some weird obligatory feeling.

I think most ppl here are chill like nobody is too wrapped up in their own ideology that they stop having fun like I was. Their opinions are the side dish not the main course which is respectable and difficult to do if you struggle with your horse getting some fucking Growth Spurts like I do.

I don't know why I'm posting this here exactly. I think its to show where I'm coming from and removing the filter ig. I think I've generally gotten better at containing myself that I can say things and not feel the need for it to spiral into a month long debate with someone. The horse is off steroids ig. I acknowledge that I'm still probably very unlikable to a lot of people which is fine it can be offputting no matter where you lean.

Okay thoughts organized into very chaotic long post back to blorbo shitto posting

#long post #discourse

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beann-e · 3 years

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-tried to make it a bit long so you could enjoy , happy birthday I hope you have a fun day 🥺

Celebrating your birthday

Goshiki

- you always praised goshiki ever since youd been dating you would tell him how amazing he was , how he was the best player on his team , encourage the way he talked badly about his opposing teams ace saying his was much better and he’d be even more awesome when he took ushijimas spot as ace

- goshiki has never felt like he’s done enough to be awarded your praise though he won’t tell you

- no not when you place kisses all over his face and on his red stained hands from hitting the ball so hard that night, applying moisturizer on his callouses he’d gotten from the constant beat down at practice or even just kissing him softly and whispering you got this in his ear the night before a game.

- For weeks youd been telling goshiki your birthday was coming up but why had he suddenly gone missing ? your boyfriend was MIA everyday since youd told him. He was always working late and coming home at 2 am walking through the house only to fall into bed and ignore the hugs you tried to provide for his tired body Him falling asleep as soon as you sighed and took it on your own accord to wrap your arms around his waist and pull him back into you

-It was enevitable that he would have a game on your birthday him explaining that he felt horrible and could happily ditch it your brain knowing that he would only be sad the whole day if you let him. No matter how much volleyball came in between you two for the last few weeks you’d still been adamant about wanting the best for him. You telling him with a smile you didn’t care what you did for your birthday as long as you spent it with him. though you did ask for your present to be what he always teased you about telling you that one day he would get you a seat on his teams bench so you could see him play up close.

- you never actually thought he’d do it. You thanking everyone as they walked past you on the bench gifting you your small happy birthdays before the match began

- your heart swelling everytime you saw your boyfriend make a point and it wasn’t until the last few seconds of the match that you felt something was off

The air swirled around you as your body felt a chill run through it your eyes making contact with your boyfriends as he looked away and jumped in the air his serious face focused on nothing other than that moment as the whistle sounded. His teammates eyes widened in shock as they held their mouths open goshikis eyes falling to his hands looking in amazement before he looked down and realized there was a body clinging to him yelling into his chest

Your loud cries falling from your mouth before you or anyone else could speak

“ YOU MADE THE LAST SHOT —A CROSS SHOT BABY — YOU WON THE GAME “

You’d never thought this is what would have made your day. Him blinking twice before he ran off the court trying to get you as far away from the cheers of his team and coach as he could

ignoring the protest from the referees that stated he couldn’t do it screaming at him that he had to say his thanks firsts.

he scooped you up in his arms kissing you harshly before pulling back to breathe heavily him half expecting to see a smile when he looked down at you only to see your face concentrated on the floor trying to understand all these past weeks him explaining it for you

“I was working —- working so hard on perfecting the cross shot for you baby “ his sweaty jersey clinging to him as he smiled widely at you who was spluttering nothing but small praises for him

“ every night after practice —I spent perfecting it so you could come here tonight and see i’m not a loser — that’s what I wanted to give you for your birthday I didn’t know what else to give you “

he felt his eyes trying to water as he wiped his wet jersey over his face “ your always saying how you want me to master what I love to do and I— i did it and I — I gifted it to you — and I just I love you so much — your so dedicated to me that you came here on your birthday and I “

“ I wanted nothing else all I wanted was to be with you — that’s all I wanted to do and seeing you perfect something that you’ve been trying to do since I met you is just “ you planted your head on his chest “ it’s amazing your so cool goshiki “

Your boyfriends head spinning rapidly when all your praises suddenly hit him now knowing the only thing that could make this better would be to show off that he’d just scored the last point and won the game for his team

He felt on top of the world right now he had his fine ass s/o wrapped around him like a teddy bear and he was being praised and told there was no one as cool as him in the world

His brain short circuited as the team tried to pull you away to stop feeding his ego until they just sighed and let goshiki tell them how much better of an ace he was gonna be than ushijima your eyes going hard on ushijima as you mumbled “ birthday “

your boyfriend not seeing the shake that ran through the taller males body at the one word that had been laced with so much malice and just a slight teasing to it as if daring him to diagree and as brutally honest as ushijima was he was not stupid

he shook his head up and down quickly only agreeing that goshiki did have a chance with a reassuring yes slipping out after. His hand immediately grabbing tendous arm to walk away in fear of you

Your birthday being made as you saw the male in front of you happy that’s all that mattered to you right now. This is what made your day your boyfriend working hard on something not only because of himself but because he wanted to impress you that was when you felt loved.

That was the best birthday present knowing you’d always be engraved in someone’s mind as the simple push — the person that helped them better what they couldn’t do on their own.

sakusa

-sakusa honestly didn’t know what to do for your birthday he knew anything you’d come up with he’d have to go out of his comfort zone so he was trying to mentally prepare himself for that fact alone 2 months prior to your birthday

- he wasn’t that surprised when you said that all you wanted for your birthday was to go out to eat lunch with your boyfriend at least once. Him rolling his eyes asking why you two couldnt just order takeout and he could buy you some dollar decorations and could pop a happy birthday pin on you and call it a day

- you only answering with a straight faced and voice monotoned “ we’ve had takeout 2 weeks in a row ‘kusa “

-“ and it was good—no ? we enjoyed our own house atmosphere and being alone yes ? “

-“ and it was cold because you made us clean off the table then switch the plates that the food came in then wash our hands then for the last step watch as we reheated it. His eyes rolling as he plopped on the couch agreeing to go out but only with setting rules and boundaries for himself on this small birthday party between you two

- you two would only go somewhere he knew they cleaned and wore gloves to cook. or even at least might wipe down the tables and somehwrr he would be comfortable with by knowing the owners

- which is how you two ended up at onigiri miya with osuma giving you guys a discount off -- which wasn’t that much may I say —- atsuma siting with suna while he snapped pictures posting them to the group chat with the caption ‘ our germbabies first day out ‘

- you sighing happily as you looked to your left and right oh yeah his other rule was the two tables next to you had to be pushed as far away from yours as possible because he wouldn’t go if you two were just going to be packed and seated in the middle of the restaurant with people he didn’t know

“ I hope your happy “ his tone was snappy and accusing as he gripped his mask away from his face directing his spoon under the mask slowly

“ ‘kusa come on take off your mask “

he grunted rolling his eyes at you “ havent you gotten enough “

“ please wanna see your pretty face “ he felt heat spread throughout his body and spread across his face as he muttered small protests and profanities at your words

the mask being pulled off and crumbled in his right hand looking at you heavily “ god anything else you want —want to take away my sanity too huh “ he laughed “ you’ve stripped away all my other safety precautions whats next “

you smiled happily voice slipping out excitedly knowing you’d scare him with your next request “ let’s go to the pool after lunch “ he felt his body tighten at your claim he hated to tell you he wasn’t going to do something on your birthday or to tell you no but

“ no “ he spat as his your brows furrowed “ havent you gotten enough — ive put myself close to — and directly in the line of death enough for you today “ he said staring at you from across the table

his own body jumping a bit when a person tried to walk over to him for a picture shaking his head and face made up in disgust at their maskless face and how they simply looked like they’d gotten dressed in the dark

“ god —look at this i’m ready to go—I can’t do this much longer my love your days over “

“ babe seriously you didn’t even give me a present“

he laughed as he stood up putting his mask back on and tucking the money for your lunch into the receipt given to him before raising his hand halfheartedly waving the waiter down and nodding his head at them before walking behind you hand placed on the small of your back directing you through the loud and rather messy crowd

“ you’ve gotten your present from me already “ he whispered “ you’ve gotten to see me maskless — in a crowded environment if I may add and you didn’t get sick so yay “

you laughed as he spoke again “ enjoy it cause you won’t get it again “ he tore his mask off smiling softly at you as you studied his face

it wasnt the fact that he wasn’t wearing his mask you’d already seen him maskless when you two were alone. What made your birthday was the fact he was willing to go so far out of his comfort zone for you.

He never would have just went out to a resteraunt and ate his food around others and allow others to cook his food without him seeing it done physically himself and making sure nothing bad was happening. much less him taking his mask off around other people — people he didn’t know

you couldn’t help but feel a flutter as you looked through the car window he was right you were enjoying this because you knew you would never get it again not until another birthday when you would have sukusa go out of his comfort zone time and time again just to remind you how much he truly loved you and would do anything to make your birthday a special day for you

lev

- lev is a child he likes doing fun things you were no different yourself and if you were you could always calm him down and assume the role of parenting but then again if you weren’t someone of maturity that could maybe explain why you two were in jail on your birthday.

- Kenma and kuroo outside your cell dressed up in pajamas kenmas game boy clicking away as the two stared into the cell kuroos eyes boring into your boyfriends kenma occasionally eyeing you a bit intrigued with this side of you he’d never seen before

-Kuroo taking the dad role while kenma whispered behind him about how lev was an idiot and you — he couldn’t say anything about you

-he just assumed that idiot lev here was the one who decided to go in an abandoned house and wreck the whole thing only to find out that you were the one who came up with it

-the original idea was for you two to do what you saw on a movie where a woman destroyed an old house no one used for fun and to let all her fustratuons out and since it was your birthday —not that it would have mattered if it wasn’t —lev would have still done it with you birthday or not but now since it was your birthday this gave him even more reason to show little to no hesitation to follow behind you

-Which is not what you two really needed from each other

-when you both went to town on the house even breaking the outer walls of the dirty building levs arms reaching the ceiling with every pull back of the hammer to the wall he made. You and lev looking at each other happily when you turned to see the woman at the screwed up houses threshold

-“ oh hey you must be here —we must of had the same idea “ you smiled even harder when she returned it only for your smile to drop when you watched her call 911 with a laugh telling them how she was gonna get so much money and be able to buy a new house and get out of this rundown neighborhood because of two stupid kids

-your body sweating and looking away when kuroo beat into him about it saying how he now had to talk the lady out of suing

-your eyes darting to kenmas all knowing ones when lev screamed that you came up with the idea earlier and really lev just didn’t want you to be sad on your birthday so he just simply followed behind kuroos claims because he loves you and honestly it originally sounded fun before the arrest

“ god y/n —legs here is an idiot but never expected him to bring you into this “ kenmas voice challenged you as he smirked softly at his game” huh always felt like it would have been the other way around when it came to who influenced who “ your body stiffened as a cough leaked out

“ huh “ kuroo looked dumbfounded at his friends words

“ nothing kuroo just perfect a match a—perfect match “

The ride home was long as you two thanked kuroo and kenma before you ran down the sidewalk looking back at lev “ there’s still an hour to my birthday “

lev smiled as he watched you get further into the distance “ which means “

“ tag “ you screamed him following “ Y/N WE JUST GOT ARRESTTED “

“ AND SOMEONE IN CANDA JUST PUKED UP RED BEANS — COME ON “ he found himself laughing you suited him so well he always loved having fun and everyday was fun with you

his body finally catching up to yours as he tagged you wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his own body panting softly yours leaning back against his chest and looking up “ babe you see the stars “

you nodded at him smiling “ so pretty “

“ yeah really they are“

“ they always look so happy and beautiful and just bright—- they always make me feel calm at peace and just they settle my nerves “

he turned you to face him looking into your eyes as he smiled kissing you softly mouths moving to the tune of a song as he you smiled into the kiss head falling to his chest while he sighed in content in this moment

“ couldnt have described you better—“ your face went up in surprise that he thought those things about you “ happy birthday y/n”

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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April 29th-May 5th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from April 29th, 2019 to May 5th, 2019. The chat focused on Catcha by Anko.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Catcha by Anko~! (http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until May 5th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Do you feel that Myouki and Yumi will be able to get along in the long run? What sort of obstacles in their relationship do you expect? What sorts of things might bring them together?

keii4ii

1. I have two picks for this one! Myouki transforming, even though I was expecting it from the synopsis, was a big 'ooh yesss' moment. Magical cat transformation is inherently exciting! Plus, it felt like a gear shifting moment for the story. Second one isn't really a scene, but the one panel where you see the framed picture of Yumi and her mom(?). While it's a fairly normal thing to have, it still shows that her parents are real, that her relationship with them isn't just a plot device. It also made me wonder if there's something special about that relationship that we will be learning in the comic later on.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Why do you think that Yumi is so determined to save the cafe? Ultimately, do you feel that she will succeed? How might her goals change as she continues to pursue her dream?

ankoart

@keii4ii Myouki transforming was something I was looking forward to drawing for so long after I started Catcha! It's still one of my favorite scenes. I'm really glad you're picking up some of the smaller details as well! Family is important to Yumi for sure!

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene, or i guess more the panel, is where they shake hands. i really adore that hesitation cause i think it helps visually kind of express how theres going to be struggles but theres also hope to be had that theyll manage to work together. so emotionally i think it just really works for the moment and the entire panel flow. 2) In the long run, yes I think the two will find common ground. But emphasis on long cause I think it's gonna be a while. I think the biggest obstacle for their relationship is just how out of touch Myouki might be with humanity. Cause I feel hes not going to understand why humans do the way humans do. Like why theyre staring at their phones all the time or why they dont worship at shrines like they used to or something. and i feel this is gonna cause him to butt heads and make yumi have to cover with customers, leading to many long structures and them having to teach each other about themselves and about how they can make the world work for them. as for bringing them together, cats. definitely cats cause at least thats the one common ground they can really share. 3) Myouki for the shallow reason hes a cat and has two colored hair. Two things I like. Hes also grump boy which I also like. 4) From the impression I got, I assume Yumi has fond memories of someone who probably died or something tied to that cafe. And it's kind of like her last place to remember them by. Or said person also believed in her or something like that. I think there's also just a little bit of stubbornness in there too cause she already made the bet. So it's kind of too late to back out now without taking an ego punch. I think she will succeed, but I think her goals will shift slightly in perspective. Right now I feel shes mostly about saving the business, but when it becomes not about saving the business I think shell really dedicate herself to making a true place for cats. Like giving them a home without it just being a gimmick.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Who exactly is the person who introduced Myouki and Yumi? What is her end game in helping Myouki to not be forgotten? What do you see her role in the story being later on?

RebelVampire

5) actually my favorite illustration is the most recent page: http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2782734/page-18/ theres a great level of precision and detail in the cat related objects that i really appreciate, and you know 1000% what they are at first glance. I also enjoy the overal page composition cause it really has this nice montage feel that really helps showcase the changes that are going on with the cafe and how they really do create a nice atmosphere like is the characters' goals. 6) I assume she is some higher up in the food chain deity that is responsible for Myouki in some way. Possibly also a cat cause her eyes were kind of cat like. But going on this wavelength of course she doesnt want myouki to be forgotten cause thats how you get demoted. i do think shell appear later on to check up on them and give some sort of assessment. which will cause conflict between myouki and yumi as they try to impress but havent worked out all their relationship kinks yet.

keii4ii

5) There's a lot to like throughout the comic. I appreciate the creator doesn't shy away from drawing the environments, showing unusual angles (even for non-dramatic moments -- e.g. bottom left panel here http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2737479/page-25/ ). If I had to pick one..... I'd go with this one. http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2776781/page-17/ The environment is very simple and understated, yet it gives a sense of a fully 3-dimensional space. I also like the contrast between the busy hatching vs the simplicity of the rest of the image!

Delphina

Just caught up with this one, such a cute story so far!

Desnik

5. I liked this. I enjoy small, organic moments and the kittens are a fun bonus. http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2727534/page-06/

Delphina

My favorite scene in the comic so far is Yumi going out and feeding the cats. She just looks so happy and it's so sweet! http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2727534/page-06/

keii4ii

Jinx!

Delphina

Hahahaha

It was KITTTEN O'CLOCK apparently!

Myouki definitely seems to have a big chip on his shoulder and I think a lot of their obstacles are going to be him learning to be tolerant and understanding (especially in a customer service context), and Yumi being veeeerrryyy patient with him. Beyond the typical café trials of running a business and literal cat-herding, I would love to see more gods or supernatural/dangerous things happen because of Myouki's involvement and how Yumi rises to the challenge of handling that (or brings her human perspective in, a la Natsume Yuujinchou).

I think my favorite character so far is the Mystery White-Haired Lady. She seems kind but also mischievous, and I want to know what kind of relationship she has with a god to tease him like that. Like Rebel said, I think she's higher up in the deity foodchain and could either be looking out for Myouki OR wanting him to fail spectacularly. But she seems to appreciate Yumi so I'm leaning toward a more kindly sort.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. What do you think Myouki’s backstory is? Why is Myouki so out of touch with the human world to the point he’s no longer believed in? Do you think he will come to accept humans by the end of the story?

ankoart

Author swooping in to let you all know I'm SUPER excited to read your thoughts, and my heart is so full right now! @RebelVampire I'm never quite confident in if I'm getting feelings across when I try and slow down scenes with moments of hesitation and such, so I'm really happy to hear that the handshake read clearly and you enjoyed it! Haha, Myouki would certainly be baffled by a lot of modern human quirks, like people staring at cellphones. Cats are definitely always the answer though! (>w<) I'm really happy you like Myouki. I love him for shallow reasons too, haha! Hummmm, I gotta say, you seem to understand Yumi really well! <3 The page you choose as a favorite illustration is one I put so much care into, so I'm really happy! I know there's not much that actually happens in that page, but I'm trying really hard to create a sense of space and atmosphere in Catcha! It means so much to know that's appreciated! And oh ho ho, your guesses over the mysterious woman who visits the cafe got me grinning. She's gonna keep everyone guessing for awhile soon as to who she is!

@keii4ii Oh man, I had so much fun with that picture of Myouki. It's such a simple little illustration, so I wanted to add lots of delicate details when inking it to add more depth!

@Desnik and @Delphina That page was such a fun excuse to feature some kittens at last! I felt kind of guilty before then about what a lack of cats there were, lol.

@Delphina Myouki being a deity will certainly add another flavor of challenges to their partnership! (Yumi already had bitten off more than she could chew with trying to start up her own business, but now she's got a cranky deity to please on top of everything else!) I'm so happy someone likes ~ Mystery Lady ~ ! She's really fun to write, and I feel like she hasn't had much opportunity to shine yet. I hope you look forward to more scenes with her~!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. How do you think Yumi will get along with the cats that Myouki winds up bringing? Will she be able to care for them all? Additionally, what sorts of personalities do you think the cats might have?

RebelVampire

7) Yumi and the mystery lady atm. Mystery lady is just so weird so it's kind of hard to anticipate where she's gonna go in a convo. So it makes their interactions kind of compelling. I also feel like mystery lady offers a great way to see into other side of Yumi that arent immediately present just cause of how she is. 8) I feel like Myouki probably got hurt by some humans and then it snowballed. So basically he cut off contact, and because he wasnt contacting humans as much they just went "cat god? maybe on the internet." not to mention myouki doesnt seem to be the type to like change, so aas the times progressed i feel like he just naturally remained stubborn and complained that the humans were changing and no longer respectful. basically old guy stuff. but eventually i do think he will accept humans again when he learns to open his heart. also when he learns how popular cats are on the internet. 9) the detail i want to appreciate is the cat coat patterns. They look very realistic to actual cats, and i love how theyre all varied. You'd be surprised how many ppl just make plain colored cats (which is fine cause i love all cats but i digress). Thus, I can appreciate the thought put in to making sure the cats weve seen are varied in appearance. 10) I think Yumi will do fine but i also would kind of like to see her interact with a cat that is legit the biggest asshole. And see her challenge herself with patience with trying to let the cat warm up to her rather than forcing herself on the cat. I think at some point the care might wind up jeapordized too cause they can only take in so many cats and...yeah, i dont think theyll put a hard limit on everything at first until they realize how much work is involved. as for cat personalities, besides the one i mentioned i also hope theres the cat who just sits everywhere theyre not supposed to be musing how if it fits, it sits.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. What sorts of obstacles do you think Yumi will face business wise when it comes to running a cat cafe? Will the gimmick and renovation be enough, or will Yumi still have other challenges ahead of her?

keii4ii

12) I was actually mildly surprised that she had the funds to buy all those things for the cats? (Though I guess second hand market and thrift shopping may have been involved!) Funding can be a problem, possibly vet bills in the future. I wonder if Myouki has any helpful powers in the cat health department.

Kabocha

“1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?” http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2734702/page-20/ At first, I really thought that this was going to go... differently (because I didn't read the synopsis), and that this was gonna end up being a tale where the main character gets turned into a cat. I am admittedly quite pleasantly surprised by the fact that... It's not that. I'm 100% into the whole cat cafe idea~ “2. Do you feel that Myouki and Yumi will be able to get along in the long run? What sort of obstacles in their relationship do you expect? What sorts of things might bring them together?” Ahahahaha. Grudgingly, yes, I think. Myouki's a very rare type of cat, isn't he... I think, if anything, we're going to see him being aloof... continually. There's going to be a lot of stress, and maybe eventually Myouki'll have to understand that he can't just be a jerk if he wants to have his shrine...

“3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?” Myouki. He's a cat. I like cats. It's pretty simple. “4. Why do you think that Yumi is so determined to save the cafe? Ultimately, do you feel that she will succeed? How might her goals change as she continues to pursue her dream?” Admittedly, I'm not sure I have enough information to go off of to answer this question! This comic is very cute, but it's challenging to come up with theories that I can back up with evidence quite yet... But I would assume that Yumi's interested in keeping the cafe because it was in her family for a while. Probably a grandparent owned it, and it was the place of many nostalgic memories? Hmmm.

Kabocha

“5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?” Hmmm, that's hard to say! I think I actually like the latest page a bit -- the middle shot with the cat supplies has a good sense of depth and business. You get a good feel for how much work has been going into prepping the space. http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2782734/page-18/ “6. Who exactly is the person who introduced Myouki and Yumi? What is her end game in helping Myouki to not be forgotten? What do you see her role in the story being later on?” If she's not Myouki's mother, she's another kami with her own interests in seeing Myouki succeed... Maybe she's from Tashirojima. “7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?” I'm actually the most curious about Yumi and our strange disappearing magical lady. I'm just curious to see how that appears... “8. What do you think Myouki’s backstory is? Why is Myouki so out of touch with the human world to the point he’s no longer believed in? Do you think he will come to accept humans by the end of the story?” Myouki... Hm. I feel like he might just be a rural kami or something -- from an area that used to have people, but not so much anymore? And maybe his shrine was out of the way. I think he's just lonely, honestly. Maybe he sees the kami in town who have these huge shrines and is just like T_T about it.

“9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?” I actually really appreciate the attention to Myouki's hakama. Thank you for paying attention to that! “10. How do you think Yumi will get along with the cats that Myouki winds up bringing? Will she be able to care for them all? Additionally, what sorts of personalities do you think the cats might have?” Myouki's gonna bring a bunch of different cats, probably more than a few need some sort of treatment from the vet... They are the cats he needs to get homes, I'm sure. I, too, want to see her handle the biggest asshole of a cat, like Rebel does. :'D “11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.” The screentones are well done, I think. It gives me a nostalgic sort of feeling... Kinda like some of the webcomics I used to read back in the day. It's a very nice feeling, honestly. “12. What sorts of obstacles do you think Yumi will face business wise when it comes to running a cat cafe? Will the gimmick and renovation be enough, or will Yumi still have other challenges ahead of her?” ...Health inspections and food regulations. There's sure to be a licensing issue or something... bureaucracy!!!

Kabocha

I enjoy the overall premise of this comic though... It really makes me wanna go to a cat cafe for real

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. What role might Yumi’s friend Mayu have to play in the course of the story? What other sorts of characters do you think we might meet given the premise?

RebelVampire

11) i think the comic's strengths are the attention to detail on the cat related objects. like not just the cats themselves, but the water fountain, the scratching post, etc. it really helps sell the cat aspect of owning a cat cafe and ya, as a cat lover just immediately attracts me as i scream yaay cats. 12) I agree with Kabo that food regulations is gonna be a huge one. And there's probably also other things to consider. Like some cat cafes let ppl adopt the cats from there to give them homes, but that comes with its own legal requirements and such. i also agree with keii that vet bills are gonna factor in too as a business expense. especially if myouki is bringing in strays cause at the very least those strays should probably be neutered and spayed. but the third option im going to add is marketing. cause you can have the best gimmick in all the world, but if you dont work out you marketing plan youre just going to wind up with 0 customers since theres no brand awareness. 13) im just most looking forward to the cafes opening day right now just to see which of these theorized issues is a thing and which arent. and also just to see whether its a big success or a huge failure. cause like i said, marketing is a necessary thing. 14) I think Mayu is going to be a force of support for Yumi, but I also think shes going to be sort of a representation of what can happen to relationships when you focus too much on business and dont find a good life work balance. down the line of course as yumi buries herself more and more into work. as for other characters, i do kind of hope we might meet a grumpy health inspector who hates cats and is just flat out awful to myouki cause that sounds like a challenge of character growth

Kabocha

YEAH. And then Myouki has to learn how to be nice to people in order to get what he wants/needs out of the system... That would honestly be kinda funny.

As far as question 13 -- I think I look forward to seeing all of the cats that show up. :D 14. Mayu... well. I don't know. Maybe eventually she will do something like... help in the cafe? Maybe she ends up being allergic to cats and can't help out. You know, one thing they do around here is they have the cafe part of the cat cafes separate from the... cat area. So you get your food and drinks made, and then you go join the cats afterward, knowing that not all cats are super clean.

Delphina

I could see Myouki being EXCEPTIONALLY OFFENDED that humans don't think cats are clean

Kabocha

Oh, of course he would be! XD "What do you mean, you don't want my friend here dipping his paw in your tea? He cleaned up after the litter box!"

If these cats are anything like mine, it'd be like "NOPE YOUR DRINK NOW, CAT"

Delphina

As far as strengths, I really love the gentle shoujo manga style with the screentoning, it definitely puts me in the frame of mind as to what genre of story to expect and I can tell that's a big inspiration here. I'm not sure what the artist is using to make this or if she's working with a pressure sensitive stylus, but I can see hints of spot blacks and line weight variation on different panels creeping in http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2749987/page-13/ and I'd really love to see more done in that direction, because I think line thickness and variation is pretty important when you're working in greyscale.

ankoart

Ahhh, I've been intending to add some responses to all the wonderful discussions going on here, but was having some computer issues over the weekend! Finally got that figured out so here I go~!

ankoart

@RebelVampire -I'm never sure which characters people are going to respond to, so I'm really happy to hear people are intrigued by the mystery customer. I can't wait to hit a chapter where she gets to return and shine! -You understand Myouki really well too! -I've had lots of fun looking up different cat breeds to add variation to the cats that will be joining the cafe. I agree that all cats are great, but it's also nice to stray away from the ones you usually see. -Poor Yumi already has Myouki to deal with, but who knows, there may be a cat out there that causes her even more grief! -Designing all the cat themed things has been so fun! It's basically just an excuse for me to design things I wish I owned, lol -There's def a LOT more that goes into running a cafe than just showing up to work, and I'm glad people recognize that! Yumi does her research and prepares best she can, but this is new territory and she's on a time limit. Bounds to be a few hiccups as things progress! At least one of the things you mentioned will be popping up within the next couple of chapters! -Yumi's nervous and anxious about opening day too! -Mayu and Yumi's relationship has definitely shifted since they graduated high school. The current story doesn't highlight much of that yet, but we may get more notes about some of Yumi's friends as things continue... <3 -A grumpy health inspector would be hilarious!

keii4ii

“It's basically just an excuse for me to design things I wish I owned, lol” Are you secretly a cat

ankoart

@keii4ii -Funding is huge issue, and the cafe was losing profits when the story started! Yumi would never have been able to do something like this without help. The mysterious customer is helping her pay for this, but that's only mentioned briefly here: http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2735609/page-21/

lol, I'm a lover of cats (>w<)

Also I enjoy spoiling my own kitty

ankoart

@Kabocha -Oh man Yumi getting turned into a cat would be fun though. She'd probably be adorable! -Yumi and Myouki need a get-along sweater, haha. At least Yumi is trying her best. -Y'all are boosting Myouki's ego way too much, lol. He's going to feel honored to be so many people's favorite. -The cafe is def a source of fond memories for Yumi. Sometimes it's hard to let go of the past. Like moving out of your home, and seeing it turn into somewhere you don't even recognize anymore. It's kind of a sick feeling. Yumi's not ready for that. -Gosh I'm so happy people like the latest page. There's a lot of panels coming up where I poured in hours of work just to try and level up the art in the comic! -TASHIROJIMA! It' a dream of mine to visit there someday, haha. -Clearly I need to bring back our mystery lady sooner rather than later~ her interactions with Yumi are really fun. -I think he's just lonely, honestly Aww, this pulled on my heartstrings. Myouki's definitely struggling with the grief of being forgotten by humanity right now. -Thank you for noticing Myouki's hakama! Not many people know about them I think, haha. I've always wanted to own or wear one. (Maybe I should make purchasing one a goal for this year!) -lol looks like "asshole cat" is gonna need to be a thing! -I feel like I'm failing to use screen tones well lately, but knowing people appreciate them is so encouraging! I'm gonna try and study more techniques and up my game! -Oh the bureaucracy of it all~! -More cats more cats! -Mayu coming to help out in a cafe would certainly be adorable~! We'll see how things go! Also please go to a cat cafe if you can, they are so much fun! And haha, Myouki would get VERY offended if people suggested his cats were too dirty to be in the same area as humans who are eating. Human's are way less clean than cats are.

Kabocha

Hey, as a fellow screentone user, I definitely appreciate when they're used effectively by other folks!

Also, regarding Asshole Cat being a thing -- YES Even if they're a friendly sort of jerk of a cat... You know, the sort of cat who has to lay on your favorite coat as you're getting ready to leave... and put hair all over it... Or, they eat a treat, only to get sick all over the rug you just cleaned OR, the perennial favorite: Knocking stuff off shelves.

ankoart

@Delphina -Myouki will challenge anyone who calls his cats dirty. How dare they! -I'm so happy the shoujo feel carries through! I ink everything by hand using a maru pen. (That's also why there's sometimes spots or grit stuck on the page, haha. So hard to keep it clean!) Right now I've been focusing on getting really thin, delicate lines, so there hasn't been a ton of variation, but I hope once I master that gentle look I can ease back into more variation on line widths!

@Kabocha I used to tone by hand, so getting to play with it digitally is so much fun! But I also sometimes get stumped as to how to approach things, lol. Knocking stuff off shelves is the best asshole cat move, I love it so much.

Kabocha

Oh gosh, I can't imagine toning by hand in this day and age. T_T It's so expensive... plus it's like AAAAAA ALL THAT TIME But it can be a challenge to figure out the right approach. ...Gradients. Gradients are very helpful for this. XD

When in doubt, slap a gradient on it! (don't actually do that, it's bad advice) Regardless, I'm looking forward to seeing where Catcha goes -- it's very cute!!

ankoart

lol it's bad advice but I def am guilty of it!!!

Kabocha

Me toooooo

ankoart

And thank you! Going for that cute factor >w<

Kabocha

As kind of a final word... I wanna tell you, Anko, to keep having fun with this! I think your enthusiasm really shines through, and it's heartwarming. I look forward to seeing what you do in the future with this comic, and any others you choose to work on!

ankoart

Oh my goodness, thank you so much!! This whole chat has been really encouraging, and those words mean so much to me! I want to create something that is just fun and calming to read, and heart-warming for anyone who enjoys it. I'll keeping working hard to achieve that!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Catcha this week! Please also give a special thank you to Anko for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Catcha, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/

Anko’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ankoart

Anko’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/AnkosArt

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #catcha #anko

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sleeplesssecrets · 7 years

Text

ive been thinking about writing here for several nights in a row and i just havent, so im going to sit down and dedicate a little bit of time to this blog for a minute. i miss having the strong desire to blog on here rarely, instead of having a weak desire to do it more often. i dont know if that makes sense. today i went out with my friend to go ice skating which is so much harder than people make it look. im really bad at it like i knew i would be. i have little to no athletic abilities to begin with, and i am pigeon toed. i cant roller blade and i learned to ride a bike when i was 9 which is a lot older than a lot of people. she was very supportive of me but shes not an amazing teacher so i kind of suffered but had fun anyways. she really believes in me for some reason and went out of her way to buy me a used pair of ice skates. she has ridiculous pipe dreams for me. she thinks im going to be good at it before my next birthday. she has no idea how horrible i am at things. im so bad at things. yesterday my fiance and i went to whole foods with my sister and her husband and sampled wines ?? it was more than samples tho. i was sufficiently drunk by the third “sample”. according to my friend, im a lightweight tho so. i dont want to build up a tolerance tho. i find it hilarious it takes little to nothing for me to feel drunk. i used to, and still dont, fully understand people who love getting drunk and seem like they brag about it. but i get it now i think? it’s so much fun haha. theres a loud large fly in my house annoying me. loud large bugs that fly are a pet peeve of mine. if i were granted one wish i would wish the earth had an ecosystem that didnt rely heavily on bugs. i hate bugs. except for bees. bees are good and pure. anyways i took this personality test a youtuber suggested and it fucking read me. it’s called the enneagram and i did it with my mom, it read her too. i want everyone in the world to take it honestly so i can read them haha. the only person so far it wasnt as accurate as it was for me was my fiance. tanner rarely fits into categories tho, which is why i thought hed be a nine like me, but hes a two. but im not convinced. at first i didnt want to be a nine but im ok with it now. some places call the nine the mediator which i hate. i hate being pinned as someone who doesnt take a side. mediator is a bad word for what i actually do. im not vocal about my stance, and i dont mediate, i crawl back into the shadows of “debates” (poorly executed arguments imo) and dont speak up. im a hypocrite because i do call myself a feminist and an ally, but im not a very good ally. you cant rely on me to open other people up to feminist ideas because unless it’s a big important issue, i avoid conflict. it’s really hard for me to speak up about feminism because everyone else seems too argumentative and fight-y. im more flight-y. run away. avoid. nevermind. ignore. block. it’s integral to my mental health, is an excuse of mine when i dont speak up, or when i choose bliss (ignorance) on a given subject. anyways im obsessed with this personality test. i want to know all of the types and type people without making them do a test. you know when you meet someone and they immediately remind you of someone else? it’s like they have the same type maybe. and thats what i wanna know. the enneagram is big for me. bigger than astrology which i love and used to live by. i still believe in the stars tho. this week im ovulating, which is suckish but always fun. hormones are fun. if i could be hormonal without the pain all the time, i would. it affects my sexuality not just in my libido, but my attraction to genders. my bi-ness fluctuates and this week is a women week. we were watching the trailers before a movie the other day and every actress i recognized, my body physically responded to my attraction to those people. anyways i dont get out a lot so it doesnt take much of the outside world to make me happy. tanner hates even going on walks especially if he finds them pointless, he’d rather be at home chillin. which is something i used to bother him about very very much but i stopped because i realized that is one thing about him that i can’t budge him on. so when im riding passenger in a mostly quite car with people i love watching the sunset over the highway we’re on, im really living. it’s weird but cars for me can be really good places for my mind. i can almost clear my mind and focus on my breathing when im in a car riding in silence. on the ride home today, watching the sunset on the highway in the quiet van with my friend driving, i told her i was sorry for being so quiet. i told her i was focusing on my breathing, which was true, but she probably thought i meant because of my asthma. i had a close one today so she knows i have problems with it every now and again. by that time tho, i was actually feeling better so i was using that glorious time in the car to breathe all the way into my lungs and breathe all the way out. it’s a pattern of breathing i only do when i have just recently used my inhaler, or right before i am totally awake. and when i can breathe like that, i can almost dissociate on purpose and peel myself off of the vinyl of reality like a sticker. when i finally got used to having sleep paralysis, i stopped hallucinating sounds and shadows, and began lucid dreaming in those minutes before falling asleep again. i can be awake and aware in my head and vividly exist on what feels like a foggy plane separating myself and the physical place im in. anyways i normally dont talk about this because i like having it as my own little fun secret with myself but no one reads this blog and it has lots of other dumb secrets on it so they all kind of drown each other out in the white noise of a space on the internet dedicated to me talking almost exclusively to myself. i get attached to things and i never want the good things or the good people in my life to end and i have an insecurity that my relationships aren’t real and im in constant need of validation of friendship from certain people and when i start feeling like i want to stop typing i get sad that something i spend nearly an hour working on is just going to be another post on this blog. and because i hate revisiting the past i probably wont read it again for a long while. so im going to click post and stuff this dull razor into the disposal slot in my wall for later people to find a pile of other dull razors just like it, aging poorly together.

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