#haven't seen all his supports though so maybe i know nothing

[duthea]

they're vibing

[heelluring]

— wherein your boyfriend, heeseung cheated...

warnings: C H E A T I N G, caught in an act redhanded, angst angst angst, cursing, sex, hoping bad things on someone, punching and slapping, melted ice cream (?)

You can't deny that the relationship between you and heeseung are starting to blur. It started with a simple, 'i'm tired...' until it escalated into no calls for almost a week. Tried to be an understanding girlfriend, giving him as much 'space' as he wants that maybe, you regret doing so. It feels like it just cause further drift in between you two.

You tried asking for help though, that's when your sister, rina came into picture. Your sister tried to reassure you, she is working at the same company as heeseung does and as his senior. "He's just tired, the company's expecting everything to be perfect for this upcoming project and everyone is tensed." She said dismissing your worries when you met her for a coffee.

"You really think so, unnie?"

"I swear, after this week hee will just come back to you as if nothing happened" You were delighted when you heard that. But, when did your sister called your boyfriend by his nickname that you only have the privileged to use? BUT THEN AGAIN, you're still happy with the reassurance she gave you. Holding out hope that you didn't poke around the 'nickname' incident too much. Maybe after working for the same company, they became close. Perhaps, rina and heeseung became each other's support system as they struggle to work in a toxic environment. That made you feel relieved for some reason.

True to her words, heeseung came back to you like nothing happened in the following week. He was all smiles, the happier ever since you seen him. You felt like the past came back when the both of you are just starting with your relationship. Heeseung was so attentive when he came back that time, saying he wanted to spend time together as a payment for all the times the two of you didn't got to do what the other couples do. You were happy, so happy. All the doubts, concerns, and insecurities was once again burned down the ground.

There's also a time where you invited rina to have lunch with you and heeseung, with also the purpose to thank her for reassuring you but of course, heeseung doesn't need to know about that. And so, with the three of you in a table, you can't help but smile and enjoy the company of the two people you love. Can't help but to laugh at their antics as they talk and tell silly stories together.

Then, heeseung had to go into a business trip. He said this would be his ticket to get a promotion, and as his girlfriend, you let him go with a heart burning support. Reassuring, and taking care of everything he need until he left. Weeks passed by and you haven't heard of him. Aside from the occasional, 'I'm okay... don't skip breakfast' there was nothing. No calls or video calls.

And, you understand. Heeseung was working so hard to get this promotion and the only thing you can do to support is by waiting for him. Just like today, as always... you tried your luck, maybe he's free and having his lunch right now since it's morning in the New York whilst it's late at night in Seoul. Maybe he'll finally pick up the phone since according to rina the company is doing some finishing touches and will be back at the end of the week, and besides there's only a 12 hours difference. You always make sure to call him in the morning to not disturb him so now that heeseung will be back soon, you were filled with hope. But then,

The number you have dialed is either—

he's not answering. You tried to dial his number again but it still failed. It's not even ringing, perhaps his phone died. Maybe he's too tired, is he even eating well? You can't do anything but sighed, and continued to walk. With a tab of ice cream in your hand, you finally saw Rina's apartment building. After confirming your identification to the security, you waited for the elevator.

Ever since heeseung left, you tried spending time with your sister. Growing up, you're not that close. And after her help with regards to your relationship, you felt something sparked in between of you causing you to wonder what happened for the two of you to grow apart. Seeing this as an opportunity to build connection, you tried hanging out with her. But, she's been busy for a while. Always saying that you two will hang out once all her work is done. You were concerned about her, of course. It looks like the company is giving her a hard time so you stepped up your game. What could comfort her better than a good creamy ice cream, right?

The elevator produced a sound the same time its doors opened to the intended floor. You calmy took a step, mumbling the unit number over and over again. "205... 205..." You carefully looked at the unit number before finally stopping at the right door. You were about to knock when the door moved open slightly at the sudden force from your knuckles. It didn't create a sound though, the door wasn't locked at all. Or, maybe rina thought she did locked it but failed to do so the last time she used it.

You, then pushed it completely open as the silence greets you. All the main lights are off aside from the light and soft sounds coming from the living room. You started walking through the entrance, and after sensing that there's a person, it automatically opened its lights. A pair of men's shoes scattered lousily at the floor. Your sister obviously got a visitor.

You continued your venture until you came into the living room. The light and the sound you heard earlier came from the TV as you expected, the soft buzz of the actors' voices where the only sounds heard in the entire apartment. Your eyes then travelled to a certain direction, and was greeted by a rather familiar suitcase. Your heart beat in a rather uncomfortable way. You were getting nervous from the thoughts that are slowly creeping inside your mind.

"It's impossible, y/n. Heeseung's still in new york..."

You sighed, trying to control your breathing that you didn't even noticed escalating the same time as your heart beat. After getting courage that you didn't even know where you get, you started walking closer to the couch. A piece of clothing one after another revealed in your eyes. You tried to calm yourself but the way your hands trembled says otherwise, as you bravely grabbed the neck tie that is disposed on the couch together with the others.

It's a classic dark blue with an elegant design. A design that you are so familiar with as the one who personally picked and gifted it for heeseung's birthday last year. You clutched it closes to your heart, as the other one made in contact with your mouth, tears slowly filling your waterlines.

"Ugh—" Your breath hitched at the sound, head swiftly looking at the direction of the master's bedroom to your side. You frozed completely, even your breath stopped. The only thing you can feel is the way you heart beats as you wait for another sound. Maybe it's all in your head, a hallucination. You decided to walk closer to the door, now all numb and deprived of normality.

You thought you're dead inside but what you see on the other side of the door is what further killed you. "Ugh, shit, hee! You're fucking me so good baby. Yes—" It was your sister getting fucked by your boyfriend of 3 years on the bed. You can clearly see how heeseung's cock disappear in her hole as he thrust. How her eyes rolled at the back of her head in every rut. Groans, moans, and slap of skin to skin were the ones dominating the whole room. How can you not hear them the first time you walked in? How can you not see all the signs?

That's when you realize, you were blind all along. How can you not suspect when your sister called your boyfriend by his nickname? How can you not doubt all the smiles and subtle touches they do at the lunch you three did? How can you be so oblivious all this time?

You sighed despite the shaky breath, as you swipe the tears away. This will fucking end now, and you'll make sure to see the end of it as you look at the security camera blinking in corner of the ceiling.

As the moans increased, you decided to kick the door with all the strength you had making it swung open with an alarming noise together with the panic screams you induced to the two people on the bed.

"Shit— Y/N!" Heeseung cursed getting dressed in panic as rina hugged the sheets to cover herself. "Y/N... this is not what it looks—" The man stopped his blabber when you throw the tab of ice cream at them and to everyone's surprise the now melted chocolate ice cream spilled everywhere staining the bed and the two. "We're over..." You said, surprised by how stable your voice are, how void you are of emotions. And, that's the last thing you said before turning around to walk away.

You were about to go out the front door when a pair of hands stopped you on your way, "Wait, y/n... please, love let me explain" Heeseung desperately begged, as he look straight at you. His eyes filled with emotions but... you unfortunately, weren't. His hair was messy, there are marks everywhere on his body, and most of all his lips are swelling with a stain of red lipstick, a profound reminder of his deception.

And, your lack of emotions as you look at him made heeseung devastated. You sneered, harshly swatting his hold before your clenched fists made in contact with his face. Heeseung fell on the floor, shocked as he look up to you. You thought you were drained of emotion but you were completely wrong. You can't feel anything other than, "I am so fucking disgusted of you." ... disgust. And the way your eyes look at him empty, with no expectation whatsoever, as if he wasn't deserving of any emotions even anger from you made heeseung even more distraught.

You felt another presence walking up to you, but before she can even finish apologizing your hands automatically made in contact with her cheeks making her look at you in shock. "I hope both of you suffer far more greater than I felt." and I'll make sure of that. You mumbled before walking completely out of their lives.

heelluring, 2024

[helluvathings]

Some thoughts on Ozzie's response at the trial

One moment that caught my attention, and I've seen a few reactors comment on it too, is that Ozzie's defense of Blitzø's right to a fair trial is lukewarm compared to Bee's. She gives a character reference, speaking about him almost fondly, while Ozzie offers one understated line.

He speaks lightly, but isn't that the kind of phrase usually accompanied by a side-eye and a pointed, "You do have a good explanation, right?" And I've seen a lot of Ozzie call outs for not just "sharing the truth," since he "knows what's really going on."

But the more I think about it, the more I feel like his slight involvement probably makes things look worse from his perspective. Tbf, the dialogue disparity could be timing constraints and wanting to make use of Kesha. Still, I honestly suspect Ozzie knowing more than Bee would make it likelier he'd be reluctant to outright vouch for Blitzø's character even if he supports a fair trial.

I do plan to touch on a few separate points. But the BIG thing I haven't seen brought up: Ozzie is the only person in that room who may know the extent to which Blitzø's use of the grimoire has actually, undeniably endangered Hell. I feel like this fact has sort of slid from people's minds, but as a reminder:

IMP obliterated part of Ozzie's ring directly outside his club. In a setting where there are likely security cameras, and at the very least, his bouncers were shown to be in the general vicinity. And there were cherubs with high tech battle suits visibly involved. Assuming Ozzie investigated this, his additional knowledge isn't actually in IMP, Stolas's, or Blitzø's favor at all.

Rewinding to touch on what Ozzie actually knows about Stolas and Blitzø's situation:

Ozzie is aware that Stolas has feelings for Blitzø.

He could guess, if he ever thought about it, that Blitzø must’ve been getting to earth a different way beforehand since his business precedes the crystal. However, he's never told this. Depending on how much he cared to look at the particulars, it possibly didn't occur to him at the time (though if he looked into the Lust Ring attack, he likely figured it out).

He also has no confirmation that Blitzø has feelings for Stolas. Fizz has probably speculated, maybe he shared Blitzø had come to Lust for toys—but Ozzie has only seen them together at Ozzie's, when he was more concerned with helping Fizz revenge-ruin their date than drawing any relationship analysis (except in the ways that helped him revenge-ruin their date).

Ozzie may also know about the anti-Blitzø parties, or at least that Blitzø has a poor history with relationships. Fizz knew his "love life [was] a pile of shit," and that giving the stage to Verosika during House of Asmodeus would get results, so at the very least, he seems familiar with Blitzø's bad habits. If Ozzie doesn't know Stolas is different, a very possible explanation might be that Blitzø had been using Stolas’s feelings to get the book. Not "forcing himself," but not really Lust King-approved.

I.e. Ozzie can assume “not forced,” but not “mutual feelings,” or “Blitzø did nothing wrong." Blitzø has also told him one of his skills is "killing things without giving fucks," so again, the background knowledge of Blitzø isn't necessarily a good thing here.

Then after Apology Tour, Blitzø went into a depression slump and probably cut off contact with friends, including Fizz. From Fizz and Ozzie's perspective, the day Blitzø got the crystal, his thing with Stolas outwardly ended, and he likely never shared much about what happened (if he didn't deflect outright). Fizz may have noticed and commented on Blitzø acting strange, but the circumstances are ambiguous.

To summarize: Ozzie can guess Andrealphus is full of shit, and that some sort of setup is happening. But he doesn't know "the truth," in the sense he could speak up and clarify everything.

What else he possibly knows:

IMP had a massive fight with well-armed heavenly beings in the middle of the Lust Ring.

This was shown to have caused substantial damage. Loona destroyed what looked like one of his buildings, on top of other property destruction, right in front of his club. If they had security cameras, Ozzie probably knows this. Like I mentioned before, two of his own bouncers were outside, alongside dozens of witnesses. If he investigated at all, there are ways he could piece together what happened.

A frequent reaction has been, “Ozzie knows everything Blitzø did was above board, he could’ve clarified.” But Ozzie has a lot of facts that actually look awful? Depending on what surveillance caught from that fight, Ozzie very well could've connected IMP to cherubs coming to Hell. To his ring specifically.

Two conclusions to be drawn from this:

If Ozzie has recognized as much, he hasn't said anything. Which is both him already covering for IMP, but it also means he's hiding something Satan would desperately want to know.

Ozzie has a legitimate reason to be upset at Blitzø and Stolas for bringing him into this. First because Stolas wasn't up-front about the formerly illegal details of Blitzø getting to earth (let alone moments like in Truthseekers where there's already been major transgression). Then afterward, when the spillover of their indiscretion caused damage to his ring and possibly got Lust Ring demons killed.

Ozzie is involved enough that all this could cause trouble for him if he's implicated

I've seen people say he'd be immune because of his rank. But while he'd physically be fine, Mammon was already going at him and Bee about their partners. Mammon has also threatened that Ozzie would "regret revealing" his love for Fizz, in pretty clear foreshadowing. Ozzie has a big, well-known weak point.

Also, Blitzø was on trial about unlawfully going to the human world (or doing it "unwittingly" as a pawn of the evil Mastermind Stolas). And this all happens while he has a registered Asmodean Crystal on his wrist. He even tries using it to get to Stolas while they're dragging him away. The more Ozzie speaks up, the more closely Blitzø is examined, and the clearer it is that Ozzie is involved with something illegal.

The legitimacy of Blitzø's behavior on Earth is a bit dodgy as well. Remember how Verosika let Blitzø win that bet because she was wary of getting into trouble for the conspicuous monster? They’re clearly supposed to keep a low profile. If Ozzie linked IMP to the Lust Ring incident and realized they've been stirring up trouble topside, his lack of interference may indicate he's already making allowances he legally shouldn't be.

Do I think the imagery of Ozzie and the other Sins falling in with Satan during the song may go complicated places? Possibly. And Ozzie clearly did want to help after Fizz’s text and seemed to feel he couldn’t. I don't think he's exactly blameless, in the sense he's aligned with a messed up system here. I also have no idea if the writers considered any of this, or if we're ever going to see Ozzie's thoughts or feelings about the attack on Lust. Maybe that was just a cool fight scene to set up the cherub/DHORKS threat, and it won't have further relevance.

But honestly, the fact that illegal use of the grimoire brought trouble to Ozzie's doorstep makes me more willing to shrug off his muted response at the trial. Even if Ozzie isn't aware, Blitzø and Stolas's lawbreaking led to an attack on his ring. If he is aware? It’s already iffy to expect he'd stick his neck out in a hopeless situation where it’d only get scrutiny turned his way. Wanting him to do so despite associating IMP with a heavenly threat and massive property damage? That's a big ask.

Maybe overthinking, especially if it’s revealed he doesn’t have much intel on the Lust Ring attack. But I feel like Ozzie knowing more about Blitzø's situation makes it harder for him to intervene, as opposed to easier. He may even have legitimate reason to feel like IMP has been endangering Hell, but has kept quiet for Fizz's sake.

Mostly, I wonder if it's coincidence that the show made that Lust fight visually, noticeably destructive, then next time we see Ozzie, it's Bee vouching for Blitzø's character, while Ozzie's statement focuses on getting an explanation. Her defense seems to be "he's cool, I don't think he'd do this." Ozzie's is more coded like, "It's fair to see what he has to say." Like maybe he's thinking it would be in character for Blitzø to have done something illegal and ill-advised that puts Hell at risk, so he'll stick with a safer defense. And honestly, I love Blitzø... but I also get why Ozzie might be ambivalent.

[btsgotjams27]

things you don't know | jjk

summary: it’s been seven years since you last saw the boy that broke your heart. after moving back home, you try everything you can to avoid seeing him around town, but destiny has a wicked way of doing the opposite.

✨ title: things you don't know | one shot ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: M/17+ ✨ genre/au: angst | ex best friends!au | ✨ word count: 4.3k ✨ warnings: language, drinking, light kisses, miscommunication, reader jokes about unaliving her other best friend, mentions of throwing up ✨ prompt: “i thought i’d never see you again” ✨ a/n: heyoooo. so this is loosely based off a friendship i had in high school and in case you're wondering (irl) i haven't seen this man in over 17 years (oh gawd i'm old). anyway, thank you to @shina913 for being my beta.

✨ mini-series masterlist ✨

You were a fool to believe nothing could tear you and your best friend apart. Just like in the movies you'd watch for hours, you realized you were not the main character; he was. You were only part of the supporting cast, the best friend–not the one he wanted. Someone else had been occupying his mind, his thoughts, and you guessed you weren't privy to know all of him.

You wondered if you became the villain in his story. Were you the other woman? How could you have known if he never told you? He was your best friend. The one you shared everything with–your hopes, dreams, and even the dumbest little details of your life.

And maybe you expected too much. Maybe you had built a world of sunshine and rainbows and believed no storms could ever weather through. Maybe you cared too much, thinking he felt the same.

But at long last, you had become the girl jealous of Josie–the person who took away your best friend.

The city you lived in had grown vastly the last time you were here. Multiple lanes were added to the highways, and fields of land were cleared out for new homes, shops, and restaurants to try. Though the only thing on your mind was not bumping into him.

His was the only face you didn't want to run into in a city that felt familiar and unfamiliar. It felt silly. You're a grown woman with a car and an apartment–had bills to pay, and running into one person shouldn't haunt you as it did.

You might have done some detective work, going through old high school friends lists on Facebook and Instagram, lurking to see if he would show up. But as you suspected, he didn't exist on social media, so your chances of seeing him increased in your weird little mind.

The old hangout places were on your no-go list. Remember, you're trying to avoid him. He has not been on your mind every waking second, minute and hour. You weren't wondering how he was doing or if he was okay. He didn't deserve to occupy your mind, take all your energy.

But if you were to bump into him, you had a monologue ready to tell him how he had fucked up your mind, spiked all your insecurities, and hoped he and his stupid little girlfriend lived unhappily ever after. He deserved that, at least.

"Did you see Lillie's Instagram post? The one where a bunch of them were out celebrating Josie's birthday?" Lana asked, sipping on her iced vanilla latte. Lana was another high school best friend who didn't stomp all over your heart.

And regarding Lillie's post, it was hard not to see it when everyone you knew was tagged. Some things never change, you guessed. The same circle of friends, the same drama, the same gossip, but then again, you were sitting with one of your oldest friends.

"Yeah, I saw it."

And you also noticed how Jungkook wasn't in any photos. After doing your detective research and scouring through the internet. He was a ghost, not even showing up in tagged photos. You were hoping to get a glimpse of him in the background, but you hadn't seen a picture of him in years, so you had no idea if he had grown into that big 'ol nose of his or if he had gotten those piercings and tattoos he's always wanted. There was no trace of this man, not even in Josie's pictures.

Last you heard, they were still together, and you always rolled your eyes hard, remembering what Jeon Jungkook did to you. Didn't even have the fucking balls to say it to your face, but in a letter instead.

You suspected it was all Josie's fault. Probably afraid you'd steal him away, or he'd prefer to hang out with you. And you understood, he wasn't your boyfriend or anything, just a friend. Ex-best friend, that is. So you supposed any girl that did like Jungkook would be intimidated by your friendship.

"Have you seen Jungkook at all?"

Lana knew what went down–dropping you like a fly, like you didn't exist. She had teased you like a madwoman because you were crushing hard on his friend, Jimin, and somehow ended up befriending Jungkook.

"Nope," you said flatly.

"So, you know how we always talk about Jungkook being untraceable? I think I found him," she said, pulling out her phone.

Your jaw clenched before huffing out a breath. Lana liked to poke the bear when it came to Jungkook. You knew it wasn't intentional, and there was a part that held onto those painful memories because you weren't over what he did to you. Countless nights of questions and if you could've done anything to save your friendship. Wondering what you did wrong and why he picked Josie instead of you. You thought he had feelings and just didn’t want to act on it.

Lana slid the phone over, her two fingers zooming in on a brightened photo. "It's definitely Jungkook," she pointed to a figure in the background.

You narrowed your eyes as she moved the photo around. Your heart skipped a beat. You'd recognize that nose anywhere. It was him. He wasn't a ghost. There was actual evidence that he existed.

"I searched for more photos, but nothing else came up."

You chuckled. "Of course not. Jeon Jungkook doesn't exist on social media. It was never his thing anyway. It was always Josie who liked the attention."

"As a couple, they make no sense to me. What does he see in her anyway?" Lana pondered, sucking up the last of her latte.

Josie was popular and pretty and did every extracurricular activity known to man. Jungkook was quite the opposite: introverted, kept to himself, played games day and night, yet somehow they still ended up together.

"I don't know. Maybe she has a great personality or something," you answered.

She had everything and could’ve had anyone in the senior class, and something always bothered you about their relationship. You just couldn’t put your finger on it.

Lana could see your despair and decided to change the subject. "What are you doing tonight? Jimin is having a small party and was super excited when I told him you moved back."

You narrowed your eyes, your lips thinned. "What are we? In high school again?"

"Come on, babe. It'll be just like old times. I'll even pick you up. I know you hate driving."

It's only been a week since you've moved back. You didn't even know where all of your cute clothes were. "I have nothing to wear." It was the best excuse you could come up with at the moment.

"I got you. Don't worry about it!"

Fuck—you should've opted for a different excuse.

"I thought you said this was a small party," you said, wearing a dress that was barely covering your ass. You'd get Lana back for putting you in the tightest dress.

"Trust me, this is small." Lana hooked her arm with yours, dragging you to the kitchen, where Jimin poured several soju bottles and sodas into a pitcher. It was quite the concoction.

“How can he afford this place?” you whispered as you stared at the fancy marbled island and large commercial refrigerator.

Lana shrugged. “I don’t think he lives by himself. Probably has roommates or something.”

"Ladies! You're here!" Jimin squealed, setting down the soju bottle. He hugged Lana before greeting you warmly. "Oh—it's so good to see you!" He wrapped his arms around you, moving you from side to side, digging his chin into your shoulder.

"It's good to see you too, Jimin. You're, um, still quite the host." His parties were all the rage in high school, and now that you look back, you're unsure what you saw in Jimin. He was a good guy, a great dancer, but he partied too much for your taste. Maybe you were shallow and just liked him for his looks.

"I have a reputation to uphold." He wiggled his eyebrows, handing you a shot glass. "I call this little drink 'Soju Sunrise.'" He held his glass, waiting for you to clink it against his.

"Here goes nothing." The glasses clack together, and the mixed liquids go down your throat as smooth as silk. Surprisingly, the cocktail is rather tasty, and you hold out your glass for another round.

"Yes! That's my girl!"

After multiple rounds of Jimin's Soju Sunrise, your body loosened up along with your tongue, being quite the chatterbox to everyone hanging around. The alcohol coursing through your veins made catching up with old friends less dull. Though you wish you could've had a sign plastered to you stating your job, why you were back, and what you've been up to. It would've made your life simpler.

As you exited the bathroom, Lana immediately pulled you into an empty bedroom, closing the door behind her.

"What the fuck, Lana?"

"He's here!" she exclaimed out of breath.

"Who?" Confusion sets on your face.

“He-who-must-not-be-named!”

"Voldemort?" You raised a brow, pouting your lips together.

She struck your head. You scowled, rubbing the spot. Still confused, you think back to the crowded room.

A lightbulb finally goes off. You blame the Soju Sunrise for making you an airhead. "You've got to be kidding me."

"She's here too."

Oh, how you'd rather be clawing your eyes out right now. It would hurt less than facing Jungkook and Josie after all these years.

You had your little monologue prepared and ready to go, but you didn't think you'd have to recite it. Did you even remember what you wanted to say?

You looked around the room and sprinted when you saw a window. Your hands fumbled with the lock, but it was too hard to open.

"What are you doing?" Lana asked, her eyebrows knitted together, watching you struggle.

"I'm gonna climb out the window." It was the only sensible thing to do.

"You're so fucking dramatic."

"It's the only way to avoid them."

Lana grabbed your arms and made you look at her. "You are a grown-ass woman. Put on your big girl panties and walk out that door with your head held high."

"But I don't wanna," you pout. "And I'm wearing granny panties." You lowered your head, staring at your dress, picturing the blush-colored panties with a little bow on the front.

"Granny panties with this dress?"

"What? I couldn't find other ones and I like full coverage." Curse you for not unpacking like you should've been doing.

"Would've been better if you went commando."

"Lana! I have some dignity."

"Do you, though? You won't even leave this room and face the one person who broke your heart."

"Thanks, Lana," you said flatly.

"You're welcome!" she smiled, shaking your body. "Come on. You can do this. I believe in you." You rolled your eyes, staring blankly at her. She scanned you from head to toe, then back up to your chest. "Sweetie, we gotta make sure your tits are stunning." She dragged down the top of the dress, ensuring the swells of your breasts were peeking through.

"Lana, I'm not trying to seduce the guy." Okay—maybe you developed a crush on him, but it's not like you were going to make a move, he had a girlfriend for fuck’s sake.

"Yeah, who cares? We're trying to make Josie jealous."

"This is so high school," you comment, digging through your purse for your lipstick.

"Your point is?" Lana blinked.

You huffed. Okay—fine. If this were the only time you'd see Jeon Jungkook and Kim Josie, then fuck it. You could pretend everything was great for five minutes. Your hand went underneath your dress, tugging off your granny panties and tossing them on the ground.

"Holy shit—going commando too?" Lana squealed and clapped excitedly.

Hiking your dress up just a smidge, you were ready to smile and lie through whatever this dreaded conversation would bring up, probably old feelings of hurt and regret.

You hooked your arm through Lana's, with your shoulders back and head held high. This was it. After all this time, you would face the son-of-a-bitch who broke your heart and the cruel witch who took him away.

You had class—at least, you hoped you did. So, you'd play it cool, be calm and collected. Pretend like you had your shit together.

That is until you turned the corner and immediately spotted them snuggled up in the corner. Josie looked like a lovesick puppy all over him. Jungkook, not so much.

You clutched Lana's arm tighter and came to a halt. You repeated your short monologue in your brain from the bedroom to the living room, but it was as if your mind had wiped everything and your brain's connectors were short-circuiting.

Your eyes glistened as you watched the two. Josie sat on his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, kissing him. Your lower lip quivered, and your stomach sank. You weren't sure if you needed to hurl because of them or because of the soju. Perhaps both.

Jungkook pulled away from her grasp, seemingly annoyed by her show of affection. As soon as he turned away from her, his eyes landed on you.

You flashed a small smile and a wave of your hand. Who knew seeing Jungkook would make you feel the complete opposite of the narrative you had created? In your head, he was a heartless best friend who left you for a wicked witch, but here he was in the flesh and was just that big-nosed, doe-eyed boy whom you shared everything with. You missed him so much and wanted to catch up on life like no time had passed.

Lana turned to you. "Hey, what happened to the bad bitch persona? Aren't you gonna tell him off?"

"I'm so stupid, Lana. I can't do this." So much anger had been building up within the last seven years, but underneath that anger was just a girl who was heartbroken.

Lana nudged you in the ribs. You two watched as he pushed Josie off his lap, causing her to frown. You attempted to let go, but she pulled you in as Jungkook beelined toward you.

"Oh, my god! Jeon Jungkook in the flesh?" Lana said in a dramatic tone. "You do exist! I can't believe it. Well, I'm going to find myself another drink! Have fun catching up with your bestie!" She punched Jungkook's shoulder hard, and he scowled and flinched, massaging the spot.

You pressed your lips together, unsure what to say to him. It's been seven years since you last saw him. Once you graduated from high school, you were out of each other's hair. You were off to college a few hours away, and he stayed in town to attend a local university.

Jungkook cut off all forms of communication. It was like your friendship ceased to exist, which hurt you the most. The last thing you received from him was a measly little letter explaining that he was with Josie and that she didn't want you coming in between their relationship.

You couldn't understand why Jungkook couldn't just talk to you. Josie was never mentioned in conversations, nor did you see him with her, so it felt out of left field. If Jungkook told you he liked someone, you'd never stand in the way of his happiness. You thought he knew you better than that, but maybe you were wrong. Maybe you didn't know each other at all.

"I thought I'd never see you again," Jungkook said, the corners of his mouth curving into a warm smile.

You only paid attention to the glow-up Jungkook had. He did get the lip piercings he wanted, along with the tattoos. You could see them peeking through underneath his gray hoodie hanging off his shoulder. The white tank top defined his taut chest, letting you know he liked to work out. His damp hair curled in all the right places against the nape of his neck and his forehead. The silver chain adorning his neck looked pretty enough to tug on.

"You look great, by the way," Jungkook added, breaking you out of your daze.

"Oh, thanks. So do you." You manage to squeak out finally; then you remember how provocative you looked in your dress compared to sweet, innocent, looking Josie in her pink floral sundress, who was making their way toward you.

"Jungkook, can we please get a drink?" Josie whined, giving you the once over before latching onto Jungkook like the leech she was.

"You remember—"

Josie interrupted, "Yeah–don't remind me. Can we go?"

Josie stormed off toward the kitchen, leaving you and Jungkook behind. Did he have any say in their relationship, or did she tug him around like a puppy on a short leash?

You're stunned but not surprised by her remark. Once a bitch, always a bitch.

Turning your attention back to him, you realize you have nothing to say. The scars from this friendship were carved deeply into your heart; not even the monologue you rehearsed could dissipate the pain he caused.

"I—I gotta go," you said, taking off toward the bedroom because you couldn't fucking leave your underwear on a random stranger's floor. You had to save whatever dignity you had left.

"Wait—" He tried to grab your attention and followed you, walking through the hallway toward a room. He watched you go from one end of the room to the other, searching for something. "What are you doing in my room?"

You straighten your posture, slowly turning to him. "This is your room?"

"Yeah, Jimin and I share this place along with another friend.”

Oh, now you were going to fucking kill Lana. She knew. She must have! That's why she wanted to bring you here. And out of all the rooms, you had to pick Jeon Jungkook’s to leave your underwear in?

"Great," you said in exasperation. You turned back around in search of your panties. "Where the fuck is it?" It could only be in so many places.

"Where's what?"

You got down on your hands and knees, tugging your dress down, looking underneath the bed for your granny panties. "Nothing," you grumbled. "Fuck it. Forget it." You stood, walking past Jungkook. He could have your underwear as a keepsake, you suppose.

"Hey—" He gripped your arm. "Come on. This is how you greet me after all this time?"

You scoffed, glaring at him. "You're fucking kidding me, right? You're lucky I'm even speaking to you. You don't even deserve that."

He lets go of your arm. "We kind of ended on a sour note, but it wasn't my fault."

He couldn't see it, but smoke was fuming from your ears, and you wished your death glare could burn through him and maybe even through Josie. How fucking dare he put all the blame on you? And for what exactly? You might add that you did nothing but be his friend, and he ghosted you like you meant nothing to him.

"So it's my fault?" You assumed he was placing the blame on you. "How is it my fault? Please enlighten me, Jungkook."

He quieted down, cowering his head.

"You showed up holding hands with Josie, then proceeded to not talk to me like a human being and instead wrote me a fucking letter like the coward you are. A letter, for fucks sake. You could've had the common decency to say it to my face."

You walked out of language class, and there they were, hand in hand as you idly watched from behind. And he didn’t even hand you the letter. He had stuffed it in your locker.

Your words took him aback. His recount of how everything went down was different from yours. "I'm sorry," he said. His eyes flicked to yours before looking away.

"Well, it's too fucking late for apologies."

Jungkook called out to you, and you didn't look back, storming away from him. You passed by Lana, telling her you were leaving and that you'd talk to her later.

You ran out the front door, stopping at the sidewalk's edge, remembering that Lana drove. "Fuck," you grumbled, pulling out your phone to grab an Uber.

You were stupid to think Jeon Jungkook wouldn't affect you after all these years. Maybe it's because you haven't dealt with feeling abandoned by him. Maybe you wished you did more for your friendship. Whatever the reason, you knew moving back wasn't a good idea because you’d have to deal with this.

"Hey!" Jungkook called out. You looked over your shoulder and continued walking. He ran in front of you to grab your attention. "Can you talk to me?" he asked, stuffing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

"Why don't you fucking write me a letter? Since you're so good at that," you mocked as you shuffled around him. He was a shitty writer who could barely pass Creative Writing without your help.

"That's not fair."

You scoffed, stopping in your tracks to turn back to him. "Run back to your little girlfriend. Don’t you have to get her approval first before talking to me?"

"She's not my girlfriend."

You tut. "Yeah–okay." That was hard to believe, considering she was all over him.

"She's not. We haven't been together for a while now," Jungkook explained.

"You looked pretty cozy earlier."

Jungkook looks at the ground, kicking around an invisible rock. "It's complicated."

"That's great, Jungkook, but I really don't want to hear about your relationship problems. Good luck with Josie and in life. You two deserve each other." You pulled out your phone to see if the Uber was arriving.

Crossing your arms, you walked back toward Jimin's place. You wish you pinned the pick-up location somewhere else, but you'd have to endure his presence longer.

Jungkook followed, giving you some space, stopping when you did. His eyes raked over you. His dimple appeared and disappeared as he licked his lips and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"When you got your acceptance letter to college, and you decided you were leaving, you didn't bother to ask about what I thought," he said, hands still in his pocket, staring at the ground. Your eyes flickered to him before looking away. He softly chuckled, "I thought to myself, what would I do without my best friend? I had nothing going for me, didn't even know what I wanted to do—still don't know what I want to do. And as much as you make me out to be the bad guy in your story, there are a lot of things you don't know."

You turned away from him as your eyes began to well up. You didn't want to cry before him, rehashing things from so long ago. You let out a shaky breath, trying to contain your emotions.

"Why didn't you say anything?" you asked, using the back of your hand to wipe away the snot threatening to fall.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I would never want to keep you from something that made you happy," he admitted.

You were always open with each other, so you're unsure why this one thing made it seem like he couldn't be honest with you.

"Tell me one thing."

Jungkook hummed.

"Why didn't you tell me about Josie?" It was the one question that lingered since you received his letter.

His lips thinned. "Honestly?" You nodded. "It all happened so quickly. Jimin was throwing a party that night when you told me about going off to college, and I was in my head, overthinking everything. And Josie was there, being sweet and comforting me, and I don't know what came over me. I just kissed her to make myself feel better. Then, the next day at school, she took my hand and told everyone we were together."

"So, let me get this straight? I told you I'm going off to college. You get upset, kiss Josie because you were mad about me leaving, and then end up in a relationship with her?"

"Well, when you put it that way, it sounds ridiculous."

You turned to him, hitting him across the chest several times. He held his hands up to block you. "Because Jeon Jungkook, it is ridiculous! God–you're such—a—" you groaned. "Do you know how much you hurt me? We could've avoided all this if you had just talked to me. Life could've been different for us. You could've come with me, and then we could've been together."

"Together?" He stared at you with his starry brown eyes.

"Yes, you dummy! I liked you, if you couldn't tell. I was going to tell you, but then you and Josie happened, and well, you know how the rest of the story goes."

You closed your eyes and let out a long-awaited breath. It felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders, getting all this out in the open. You weren't expecting Jungkook to do anything to make you feel better, but at least he could hear what you wanted to say after all these years.

Your uber pulled up and you opened the door, holding onto it as you looked at Jungkook. A glimpse of the boy you once knew still lingered in his eyes. If you could go back and do it all over again, you would've fought harder for him, fought for what the two of you had. It was too precious of a friendship to let go just like that. Unfortunately, life didn't work that way.

There were no forms of time travel or alternate dimensions where the two of you could've lived happily ever after, and there were only the choices you made here and now.

"Bye, Jungkook."

✨ read part two | read part three ✨

[daydreaming-in-letters]

Against the wall

05/24/2024

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,917

Warnings: rpf, alcohol, pining, naughty thoughts, fluff

Summary: Sometimes all it takes is a room full of people to figure out you want nothing more than to be alone with that one person.

A/N: Guys, this was written in a fevered frenzy. Haven't felt the muse in months and don't know whether she did a good job, but I am so happy she is not dead.

Picture is a screen cap from this video

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

If you enjoy my story, you are very welcome to like, comment or reblog. No permission is given to copy, repost or share my work on other platforms.

She had forgotten how much she loathed being in a room full of people. Maybe it was a condition that came with age, to appreciate silence and solitude, or maybe, just maybe, it was entirely his fault. 

Her back leaning against the wall, his hand was splayed out right next to her head, supporting the weight of his body as he leant in slightly so he could focus on her voice above the noise of the bustling room. He had never been this close to her, so close she could smell the intoxication scent of his body, and in an instant the chatter was drowned out by the wild drum of her heart, which in turn made it one of the most challenging tasks she had ever had to face to string her words together into meaningful sentences. 

But it seemed she had somehow succeeded, against all odds, as he turned his head to look at her, his face so close now that she could feel the heat of his breath on her face. And as if that had not been enough to clear every coherent thought from her head, he chose to turn his lips up into the most dazzling smile upon her silly joke. 

It made her dizzy, combined with the sparkle in his eyes it was an almost deadly combination, impossible to resist. It had captured her completely. He had captured her completely, occupied her every thought in a way that was bordering on concerning, for her sanity, maybe even for the idea of feminism she lived by, but even more so for the very essence of her existence. 

She had seen it all so clearly, a happy future, no one to bother her, especially no man to cause her even more worries than she already had. Just her, the path in front of her clearly mapped out. And then he had crossed her way, and it had dawned on her that what she had deemed the perfect life would seem like nothing but a cheap substitute next to a life with him. Certainly, she could still be happy without him—if she needed to. 

The problem was, she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to live a life without the sound of his laughter, without his twisted sense of humour and the way he looked at her when they were engaged in a conversation, as if there was no one else in this world, as if it was only him and her. He made her feel secure in a way no one ever had. When he entered the room, she could feel her shoulders relax, her breath going more easily and the galloping of her heart slowing in pace. And when she talked to him, it was as if she had never done anything else in her entire life. There was nothing of the usual unease or urge to appeal between them that might, under different circumstances or with a different man, lead her to a point at which she had either moulded herself into a completely different person or where everything meaningful she had wanted to say and that had been phrased so clearly in her head became lost somewhere on the way from her brain to her mouth. With him though, she could just be herself, safe in the knowledge that he would not judge or tire of her at some point. 

If only she knew with the same certainty if he felt the same. Obviously he did enjoy talking to her as well, or he wouldn’t be standing here right now, choosing to talk to her when he had a room full of people to choose from. But did he also hang on her lips like she did on his? Did he also wonder if they were just as soft as he imagined them to be? And would he like her to step closer, or pull him closer to her instead? And when her hand rested against his chest then, would she feel the same thunderous beat that drummed behind her own ribs? Would it start to flutter as soon as their lips met and refuse to fall back into its regular rhythm until their bodies lay sweaty and spent, their desire finally sated? And in their blissed out state, would he hold her? Would he pull her that impossible inch closer and press the softest of kisses to her forehead, telling her all she needed to know without uttering a single word? Would he still be there in the morning to see her tousled hair and sleep-wrinkled face and look at her with the same affection she thought to find in his gaze right now? Would he—

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” His back still turned on the intruder, he gave her the most dramatic roll of his eyes she had ever seen, making it very hard for her to hide a snicker. “Come, there is someone I need you to meet.”

She wanted to protest, wanted to do whatever it took to keep him close, but before her brain had even been able to form a protest, he was being dragged away from her, his lips forming a silent apology. 

This social engagement was tedious. The thought came as somewhat of a surprise to him. There had been a time when he had truly enjoyed this kind of event, but tonight something just was not right about this party. Well, not ‘something’ as in an unknown factor that made this party different from other parties. It was not unknown to him at all. In fact, this evening had been perfectly enjoyable up until that moment he had been so rudely separated from her. 

She was still leaning casually against that wall, the only difference being that he was too far away from her now. To be fair, any distance that exceeded an arm’s length was too far for his taste. She on the other hand did not seem to mind his absence much, as someone else had already taken his place by her side to engage her in what appeared to be a most entertaining conversation. Not one glance did she spare him, while all he could focus on was the ludicrous attempt to will himself back into his old position, close to her. So close that her breath would waft across his neck again as she spoke, the heat of her body crawling over his skin. Maybe her hand would find him by accident—or intentionally, which would be all the better. After a moment he would return the favour, finally giving in to his longing to feel the smoothness of her skin against his fingertips.

Instead all he could feel was his mouth opening as she brought the glass to her lips and took a sip of champagne. Would he be able to taste it on her tongue if she allowed him to kiss her? He almost hoped he would not be, because what he really desired to taste was her, the exquisite, singular flavour only she possessed. 

And still, that would not nearly be enough to sate his hunger. He wanted to taste all of her. Her lips, her skin, the moist heat at the apex of her thighs. He wanted her so much he could feel his mouth drying up upon the ardor of his wish, no, need for her.

What would it be like to have her? He had imagined it a thousand times over and yet there were so many questions still left unanswered. Would she voice her pleasure or enjoy in silence? Was it her wish to be the director of their passion play or did she want him to lead the way? Would his name glide over her lips in a soft moan or would she scream in ecstasy when they had finally reached the peak? Would she stay serious, caught up in desire, all the way through or would there be giggles and laughter? And what then, after they had given themselves to each other completely? Would she leave, seeing this as an experience best enjoyed once only? Or would she stay, her naked body resting against his in peaceful slumber, and allow real intimacy to begin? 

If it were his choice to make, he would know exactly what to choose. But he could not blame her if she opted for something different. Commitment was tough, and there had been times when he had thought that he, like so many others, was simply not built for it. But watching her now, he could not recall how he had ever been this blind about himself in the first place. 

It had been strange at first, that sense of belonging that always befell him when she was around, completely unexpected. But ever since he had felt it for the first time and realised its true meaning, it was as if he had discovered a law of nature, complex and yet so easy to understand, as if it had always been an inherent part of him.

Once again, the dryness he had felt earlier returned to his mouth, more demanding this time, until it had managed to push every other thought aside for a moment. Instinctively he set the glass to his lips, his eyes not once leaving her until he had lifted the bottom high enough to block his view. It had only been for the blink of an eye, but now he found himself almost choking on his final gulp when his eyes returned to find her spot against the wall empty all of a sudden.

Leaving without a goodbye was childish, she knew, but she just could not shake this nagging feeling that had befallen her out of the blue, that being in the same room with him without talking  to him or being able to at least be near him without looking as if she was running after him like a duckling was far worse than not being here at all. 

With a sigh she set down the glass on an empty table she passed on her way to the exit. What a waste, as it was almost half-full, but somehow it did not taste quite right, and so she left the rest of her drink behind, like the dream that she would ever be to him what he was to her. 

It was dark as she entered the hallway and the air felt uncomfortably cool in contrast to the air inside that had been heated by all those bodies. Their chatter was still following her now, echoing from the walls left and right. 

It must have obscured the noise of his steps, or maybe they had not made any sound at all. Otherwise she would have recognised their rhythm from a mile away. But instead, she only realised that he was there as his warm hand closed around her wrist and gently brought her to a stop. And despite the fact that she had halted her steps almost instantly, she had not expected him to be this close now as she turned, so close that she could see the startled expression of her eyes reflected in his own. So dark, so green. 

He did not utter a single word. He did not have to. She knew when his grip on her loosened and his fingers softly glided between hers. She smiled, and so did he. And then, slowly, they began to walk.

taglist:

@rosecentury

@lowkeysimpinloki

@fightmespideyboy

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Thank youuu, maayybbee a comforting headcanons about your choice of Creepypasta with a reader who is like uh like really really tired in all sort of ways that they won’t cooperate in anything, mind being so nice to give them a whole slideshow of their messed up childhood and

Y’know just a really fucked out reader

Sorry if it’s y’know too much or anything, you can do it whenever you want!

-🐰

I love writing comfort scenarios <33

Credits to divider goes to saradika-graphics! Go follow them and support their works

Thank you so much for requesting!!

Ticci Toby

He understands that sometimes, everything is too much and your brain just kind of shuts down

But he is also a very anxious person

So when he sees you laying in bed, the exact same position you were in when he left in the morning, he gets a little concerned

Have you moved at all? Have you eaten? Drank anything? Taken a shower?

But he respects your privacy and doesn't ask you about it, assuming maybe you just wanted a lazy day to yourself

So he brings his dinner up to you that night, sharing just in case this is in fact the first you've eaten all day

And when you continue this behavior the next day, he begins to panic

The other creeps know something's up too, or at least, E.J does, because once Toby gets home E.J approaches him about it

"Hey, I asked y/n to clean the equipment they used in the gym last time and they just said no. They also seemed pretty lethargic, barely moving or breathing at all. Nothing to worry about right now, but it is concerning."

And with that, he walks off, seemingly not even wanting an answer, just wanting to give Toby a heads up

So once again, Toby goes to your room once again, seeing that you still haven't moved

"You haven't moved." He says

"Mhm" you respond absently, scrolling on your phone

"Have you eaten today?" He asks, beginning to get nervous

"Mhm" you respond once more, though it's not a real response it's just one to make him happy

"Um. EJ said you didn't want to clean the gym equipment you used?" He fidgets with his fingers now, picking at the dry skin

"Mhm" Is the only thing you say, and the only thing you're going to say he realizes

So he comes to sit on the bed next to you, moving some of your hair out of your face (if you have any, if you don't he rubs your back) "Are you ok? You can talk to me, you know? I love you"

This seems to trigger something in you, because instantly a flood of tears happens

This startles him, but he continues to comfort you nonetheless

He pulls you up and drapes your arms over his shoulders, while his go around your body, rubbing your back and head

He doesn't talk because he doesn't want to overwhelm you, so he silently rubs you and kisses you until your sobs turn into sniffles

"Let me take care of you tomorrow?" He asks, pulling away to look into your eyes

You pull him back into the hug and nod "please"

Jeff The Killer

Jeff doesn't really know how to deal with his own emotions, let alone someone else's

So when he sees you in a funk, he decides to just leave you alone and let you deal with it yourself, because he doesn't trust himself enough to actually help instead of hurt

But this of course, it seen as him leaving you in your time of need from your perspective

So this only makes matters worse, causing you to snap at others for small things, like when Toby accidentally bumps into you while you are on the way to get another snack

He of course, apologizes profusely, but it just isn't your day so you yell at him and tell him to be more careful next time

When Jeff gets home, Toby is talking about the incident with another creep

Not in a malicious way, but in a concerned way

This peaks Jeff's interest "What are you saying about my partner over there??"

"I'm just worried is all. They totally blew up after I accidentally bumped into them" Toby says, putting his hands up defensively

Jeff scoffs and rolls his eyes, already tired of the mood you're in

So he goes up to your room and walks in angrily saying "Why are you being such a dick? What'd Toby ever do to you?"

You don't feel like arguing, so you snuggle further into your bed

He laughs at this "Seriously? You're gonna ignore me? Listen dude, I don't know who you think you are but I really don't like this fucking color on you. Fix your attitude before I fix it for you" And with that he slams your door

Next day, you bump into each other in one of the hallways, and he tries to talk to you obviously seeing you still upset, but you push past him

Or at least try to

He quickly catches you and pins you against a wall "Just listen to me, won't you?!" he yells

This is all too much for you, so you begin to cry, bowing your head so maybe he won't see it

He softens at this, loosening his grip and looking at you confusedly "Why....why are you crying?"

"Why are you being so mean to me??" You ask as you sob

He sighs and brings you into a tight hug "Ok.....Ok tell me how long you've been upset"

"A long time!" You say truthfully "It's not even about Toby!"

"Why didn't you say anything??" He asks, cradling your head against his shoulder

You grip onto his chest and try to catch your breath before talking "Because you left and I thought you didn't want to see me!" You whine in a fast, high pitched voice

Despite this, he seems to catch every word "No, baby, baby....I always wanna see you I just didn't wanna hurt you...." He whispers into your head

"But you did!" You say into his shoulder

"I know....I'm sorry" He rubs your back a bit before kissing your head

"....really?" you sniffle

"Yeah" He pulls away and lifts your head to kiss your forehead, before pulling you back into the hug

You are quiet for a while, standing in the hallway and holding each other before you finally break the silence "it did feel good to cry"

He snorts and pulls away "Well I'm glad you liked it, because now I have snot and spit all over my hoodie"

You smile and kiss his nose "You love it"

Ben Drowned

Barely moving himself, he probably won't notice for a little bit

But when he does, he just assumes you're in a lazy mood, So he tries to snuggle up with you in bed

You flip over, avoiding his touch which makes him raise an eyebrow "Hey, you ok? It's cool if you just wanna be alone but this isn't like you"

"I'm fine" you say quickly

"....oookay.....do you want me to leave you alone?" He asks, his face changing from confused to concerned

You don't answer for a long while, but when you finally do you say "no"

"ok" he says simply, staying to his own side of the bed while he plays video games

Eventually, you begin to cry softly, and you flip back over to snuggle into his chest, wrapping your arms and legs around him like a koala

He looks at you for a moment before putting the game aside for a second and petting your head "I thought you said you were ok?"

You shake your head and cling harder

"Alright, c'mere" he says, pulling you up into his lap and putting your head in the crook of his neck

You try to hide your face away in his shoulder, but he grabs your chin before you get the chance "Hold still, I wanna kiss you" he says

With this, he kisses anywhere he can reach, eventually letting you drop your head back onto his shoulder while he grabs onto your arm and kisses from your shoulder all the way down to the tips of your fingers

Once he is done, he looks down at you, seeing that you are now only sniffling he uses a knuckle to wipe away any remaining tears "now are you ok?"

You nod and wrap your arms around his neck, kissing his cheek "Good. I like seeing you happy"

He then pecks your lips and hands you another controller, so that you can play the previously discarded game together

[hornydilfsinyourarea]

Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter x Yandere! Male! User

Author's note: Took me a while to make, sorry guys, I made two endings because why the fuck not, the bots are in the same setting, just different out comes and point of views, the Will bot is more focused on you kinda, and the Hannibal bot is more focused on what Hannibal felt through it (there is also a scene where you find out what Hannibal actually said to Will if you look at the Hannibal bot), I was also listening to 'Red Sex' by Vessel while writing both bots- there are a lot of trigger warnings in both bots, so be warned. This is pretty long.

(Will Graham) Scenario: "You… never felt seen, not even once in your life, the kid with eye bags under their eyes, who looked both sad and empty at the same time, quieter than the quiet kid themself, barely even speaking- some didn't even know if you could. After completing high school, and nearly a decade of therapy, you questioned why you even bothered with everything, there was nothing wrong with you. You have seen many therapists, none never saw you… you were sitting in the waiting room for Hannibal- he offered to hold therapy sessions for you, you came early though- While you were looking down, thinking about canceling the session maybe- you suddenly saw too feet come into your view, making you look up- and then… you felt your world stop when you saw him" (Hannibal Lecter) Scenario: "Hannibal saw you, he really did- how could he not? When he heard about you from a colleague, he knew he had to have you as his patient. A poor lonely child… never once feeling seen in their life- with one parent in jail while the other hanged themself, truly tragic, you didn't look like you wanted to die, that much was clear to Hannibal, but he could see… that was a route you were willing to take. Having been alone since you were sixteen, went to a boarding school, no other family left, went to different therapists for almost 10 years, you were getting tired of it, he could see, it was why he was so… fascinated with you, he's surprised you haven't turned out insane after everything- but Hannibal thought too soon, he saw the way you looked at Will Graham, another client of his, the way you barely spoke to him, looking off to the side… a lovesick expression on your face. It saddens Hannibal, why waste your time with someone who only talked to you once? While he was there, trying to make you see that he saw you first, it confused Hannibal. Hannibal even once caught you taking a picture of Will- what else were you doing? Something had changed in you that day you met Will." Warning: NSFW in both, stalking, breaking and entering (implied, but not actually mentioned, I mean, how else did you get inside of Will's house?), taking non-consensual photo/s (nothing sexual- well, depends on you, if you want to be that creepy), User is a Yandere but is written to be more fucked up in the head because of mental illnesses (like Joe Goldberg), User is written to be both possessive and obsessive, user is kind of written to be around mid or late twenties (or 30's, depends on you, user is just not younger than mid or late twenties, that's all), Accidental love confession (Will bot, user receiving), kidnapping (willingly though, Will bot), Hannibal is strangely supportive of your behavior (He even praises you, such a sweet guy), praise kink (Hannibal bot, user receiving), ridning (Hannibal bot), Hannibal dies in the Will bot, but Will dies in the Hannibal bot (You can pick which one you end up with, unfortunately you can't end up with both... yet), Hannibal might just take advantage of your possessiveness and eagerness (like subtly telling you about someone he hates, basically manipulating you into thinking they need to die), Soft/Gentle! Dom! Hannibal? (He still a bottom tho, so is Will), user is written in a style that they are socially awkward (or have social anxiety) and have attachment issues (meaning they can easily attach themself to someone who shows them basic affection, like what Will did), I think this is all, please do tell me if I missed a warning- Please remember I do NOT condone in this kind of behavior nor the acts done in these bots

Who do you think sees you?

Will- "I see you" Hannibal- "He never saw you, did he?"

^link to bot^ ^link to bot^

[shadeysprings]

On the Lookout

—Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: The excitement rolling through your veins as a new ranger in Jackson County turns into fear when you realize the true intentions of your partner.

Warnings: This is a dark fic. Noncon, unprotected sex, age gap (about over 20 years, reader is over 18), breeding kink, implied use of drugs, somnophilia. There may be more but kindly proceed with caution.

A/N: I know I promised something else but the pull of Joel is just too strong. As part of my sleepover, this is my second gift to all you amazing people. Might be a bit sloppy but oh well. Maybe some sort of spoiler if you haven't seen/played the game.

Your likes do nothing but your feedback and reblog are everything. Support content creators. Enjoy! ❤️

Purple and pink hues paint the sky, the beautiful sight making you smile as you peek out from the window of your garage home. The spring chill blows through the open pane, signifying a new day and the beginning of your new community duty as a ranger in Jackson County; a task you’ve been wanting since you and your dad joined the settlement. 

The conversation you had with Maria two days ago is still fresh in your memory, how she pulled you aside while preparing lunch for the residents, looking at you with a worried expression while she explained the dangers of patrolling the perimeter. But such concerns didn’t dampen the excitement rushing through your veins, giving the county’s leader a smile of gratitude for giving you such a great opportunity to help the community along with a promise to do your best. 

But doubts soon began swimming in your head as you watched the rangers take off that same evening. It made you think why, after several times asking Maria to switch your post, it’s just now that she agreed to the change. And your thoughts immediately shifted to Joel and Ellie finally having enough of your rambling about your distaste for working in the kitchen.

You don’t even question if Ellie caught on to your envy of her. That a kid of fifteen was already being one of the first picks amongst the others your age or older when going out to clear the area of infected and clickers alike. Though you try to reason with yourself that you’re good with a gun, Joel and Tommy said so themselves when you would tag along with the brothers and Ellie to go target practice at the edge of the county. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. You’re ready.” Joel said when he caught you that night and asked if you were finally told the good news. “Your daddy would be very proud of you.” He added and that was enough for you to believe in yourself.

You take your dad’s old revolver and run your thumbs against the cylinder. They were empty of bullets when Joel gave them to you, rendering the weapon useless. But still, you keep it safely beside you in your bed, a small trinket to feel his presence and to give you a sense of safety despite his absence. 

A breath of surprise escapes you when a knock resounds on your door.

“You up yet, sweetheart?” Joel calls from the other side. “We’ll be on the first group to ride out.”

“I’ll be right there.” You call back, placing the gun back under your pillow and checking your pack, making sure you brought everything you need before zipping it close and heading to the door. 

Joel greets you with a smile when you open the door. “You ready?” He breathes.

“More than you know.” He chuckles at your response and gives you a playful wink. He then cocks his head to the side and you follow him after setting the locks of your door in place. 

As the morning light shines down from the heavens, you can’t help but notice the difference in Joel’s features. His hair is combed back and his beard looks freshly trimmed, far from the usual unkempt look that you’re used to seeing. There even seems to be a spring in his gait, a sense of ease washing over him and in extension, bleeding over to you. 

The chatter at the stable takes your attention off of Joel, a nervous smile grazing your lips as the reality of your first day as a ranger begins sinking in. You follow Joel and group up with the others around Tommy, Ellie standing at your side and greeting you a ‘good morning’, one you return with the same exuberance.

“You ready to kick some infected butt?” She grins and you nod.

You can’t wait to learn the ropes and do something meaningful for the community that took in both you and your dad, to prove to them that you’re worth more than mixing stews and setting out plates at the mess hall. 

You can’t wait to make your father proud.

“Ellie, you’ll be partnered up with me,” Tommy announces and you startle in surprise when Ellie cheers in excitement. “We’ll take the route east. The last patrol said they saw some infected scattered around the area.” 

You tense slightly but make to hide it amongst the others. You didn’t want anyone to think you were weak and faint-hearted. That it was a mistake giving you a spot within the rangers.

You try to latch onto Ellie’s energy, keeping your morale high yet take some of Joel’s gravitas to give the impression that you’re serious about your job. 

Once Ellie calms down, you scoot a little closer to her. “You’re not scared?” You whisper while Tommy continues giving the other pair their assignment.

“Scared of the infected?” She scoffs and then glances at Tommy. “A little, but Tommy will be with me and he’s a much better shot than Joel.” The grin on her face is mischievous, looking at your other side and sticking her tongue out at her surrogate father who only rolls his eyes at her. 

“Aren’t you usually partnered with Joel though?”

“Yeah. Unfortunately.” She sighs playfully then stares ahead at the big wooden gates of the county. “But you’re here and he’s always partnered up with the new recruits.” She says matter-of-factly. “But don’t worry, you’re in safe hands. Tommy may be great with a gun, but Joel—he’s better at surviving.”

You suddenly stand in attention when your name is called, your heart pounding in nervousness as Tommy checks his ledger before facing you. 

“You’ll be partnered with Joel.” Tommy nods to his brother and you look to your side to see Joel already looking at you. “You both will take the lookout tower by the west ridge. It may be the farthest but it is the safest.” He states, flipping another page in his notebook. 

“Updates on infected in the area?” Joel inquires.

“None for three weeks now. Though Dylan mentioned he saw some at the next ridge over.”

“They’d have to fall off to get to us, so I’m not worried.”

“You’ll be able to spot them from the tower. You’ll just have to keep watch though if you can get rid of them, that would be better.”

“We’ll do what we can,” Joel assures.

“Alright,” Tommy shouts and the chatter in the barn quickly dies down, seriousness waving over in the atmosphere. “Y’all know the drill, children. Run your routes, mark your log books, and clear any infected you see along the way. And if you run into something you can’t handle, you come back home. Am I clear?”

A resounding ‘yes’ echoes through the stable.

You look around when the others disperse from the group, feeling a little lost on what to do next. But a hand on your shoulder takes your attention, looking up to see Joel standing close, his fingers drumming over the strap of your pack. 

“You wait for me up ahead. I’ll grab our horses and guns.” You nod in agreement at his words and leave him to stand by the open gate.

Slowly, the settlement begins to wake up, the sun peeking out from the mountains on the horizon and shining its light from the sky. You still can’t fathom how normal everything feels living in Jackson as you watch the residents greet each other with happiness, that somehow, you’ve gained some semblance of your old life before the pandemic struck. 

From where you stand, the threat of the outside world feels distant, and that nothing could go wrong as long as you stay within the walls. But since that night your dad came home after a night patrolling the area, his body laying lifeless in the arms of Joel, you became a cynic. 

His luck eventually had to run out and the bite marks that decorated his body along with the bullet lodged into the side of his head only proved it to be true. Joel tried to explain what had transpired, apologies spilling from his lips while he stayed with you to mourn for your father. But you knew well enough to piece things together, that what Joel did saved him rather than kill him. And for that, you were grateful. 

Though you can’t help but think when it’ll be your turn. 

“Seem to be digging deep there, sweetheart.” 

Blinking away your thoughts, you turn to face Joel as he nears you. The reins of two horses clasped in one hand while the other carries two rifles.

“Uhh, it’s nothing.” You smile and reach for one of the horses. “Just—just thinking about my dad.”

He stays silent but gives you a nod of understanding, thankful for the lack of questions or explanations others usually give when you talk about your father. But with Joel, you don’t feel obligated to show a strong facade, to lie about being okay because out of everyone who showed you sympathy, he’s the one who understands you the most.

Pushing the thoughts of your dad at the back of your head, you take a firm grip on the saddle and lodge your foot into the stirrup, a strenuous groan erupting from your chest as you struggle to hoist yourself up. You fail a couple of times, dropping back to the ground yet you only push yourself to try harder. But each attempt leaves you frustrated, only successfully slinging your upper body atop the animal before you slide back to the ground once again.

“Here,” Joel nears you and you huff out a breath. “Let me help you, baby,” You startle slightly when his hands find purchase on your waist, his face only a breath away from your own when he speaks. “Grab tightly on the pommel and at the count of three, you push your foot and pull yourself up, okay?”

“Okay,” You mumble, your face heating up in embarrassment. 

“One, two—” You do as he says, fingers gripping tightly on the pommel as he continues to count. “Three.” Kicking off the ground, you grunt as you pull your weight forward. “Straddle, baby.” He instructs and you carefully lift your other leg to stride over the horse, a blush creeping up your cheeks when you feel his hand caress the curve of your ass, only pulling away when you successfully take a seat. 

“Good girl.” He praises and you look down at him when he gives your thigh a light pat, the heat on your face spreading down to your neck. “You know how to work one of these?” His question comes all of a sudden, holding out the rifle for you to take.

You reply with a shake of your head.

“Best I show you when we get to the tower.” He hums but still lets you keep the weapon, gesturing for you to sling it over your shoulder. “You got a gun?” He asks.

“Only my dad’s but I kept it at home.” You frown. “No bullets.”

He nods then reaches behind him and holds out a small pistol. “Feels like it weighs nothing.” You comment as you grip the gun, amazed at how light it feels in your grip.

“That’ll help you move and attack faster.” He notes. “An infected comes running at you, it’ll only be seconds from when you take it out and pull the trigger.”

“Got it.” You stare back at the gun before stowing it in your pack.

“Now, here are a few things you have to remember.” The seriousness in Joel’s tone makes you tighten your grip on the reins, keeping your focus on him as he lays down the rules. “Stay close to me. If something feels wrong, or you hear something that didn’t come from either of us, you tell me. Are we clear?”

“Crystal.”

“Good. You’ll be okay,” He smiles, his hand resting once more on your thigh. “I’ll keep you safe.”

You smile back at him. 

Without it being said, you trust Joel with your life. He’s taken it upon himself to look after you since your dad passed, even after insisting that he shouldn’t bother. But his persistence was impeccable and slowly, Joel became a constant entity in your life. And if there is anyone you could rely on to save you from any danger, it’s him. 

If he and Ellie survived traveling all the way from Boston to Wyoming, a ride to the lookout tower would be nothing but a walk in the park. 

“You alright, sweetheart?”

You try to hide your discomfort as you glance at Joel, huffing out your pain as the horse continues to jog you on his back. You and Joel have been riding for almost two hours and it was after the first stop that your lower back began to protest getting back on the horse and riding further up the incline of the ridge.

You thought you’d be okay, that you came prepared for the intensity of being a ranger. But with each step the horse takes and even with just a small bump on the dirt path, your back screams for you to stop. 

“It’s my back.” You admit, frowning to yourself as you try to keep still to at least alleviate any of the pain. “It’s my first time riding.”

You hear him sigh and it’s enough to make you feel worse. You broke a rule; you didn’t tell him that something was wrong when he specifically told you to do so. 

“Do you want to stop?” He asks, concern laced in his voice.

“How far til we get there?”

“About twenty more minutes if we keep this pace. Five if we run.” He confirms, moving his horse closer to yours before pointing up ahead at the tower that grows larger by the second. “Can you hold up til we’re there?”

“Yeah,” You agree breathlessly. “I can manage.”

A sigh of relief escapes your lips as soon as you arrive at the foot of the tower. You steer your horse by the stairs and grip tightly on the saddle as you try to ease yourself down. But Joel is quick, his hand already reaching for your hip while the other makes to grab your hand and free your grip on the pommel. 

“Nice and easy, sweetheart.” He says softly. “Arm around my shoulders.”

You do as you’re told and wrap your arms around his neck, allowing your legs to freely slide off the back of the animal. Though before your feet could even touch the ground, Joel hooks his arm under your legs, effectively carrying you as he makes his way to the steps of the tower. 

“You don’t have to, Joel.” You tell him, feeling awkward to be carried like some child. “I can walk.”

“Can you?” You blink in surprise at his sternness. “It’s four flights of stairs.”

Four? You look up at the tower and swallow thickly upon seeing how high it is up close. You want to say no and agree to have him carry to the top but you’re unsure if Joel would even make it himself. He’s not that old, and the strength he shows is usually unmatched for a man his age. But you’d rather be cautious than selfish and the last thing you want is to injure the both of you and have the others come to your rescue—that is if the infected or raiders don’t get to you first.

So, you gauge the pain that radiates from your pelvis and throughout your lower back, determining that if you pace yourself properly, you’ll be able to make it without much hassle.

“I’ll keep up.” You tell him earnestly. “If I fall, I’ll call for help.”

You think for a split second that he would agree with you and put you down but from the way his mouth slants and his forehead creases, you can already tell that he’s made up his mind. 

“I promised your daddy I’d take care of you before he died.” He says as he begins climbing up the steps, your eyes suddenly stinging with unshed tears at the mention of him. “So that’s what I’ll do.”

You acquiesce to his decision and stay silent on the way up, keeping your arms locked around his shoulders while looking toward the trees scattering over at the next ridge over. The small ranger’s cottage takes your attention and your mind flutters into a daydream, thinking how peaceful it would have been to stay there alone and pass the time enjoying the scenery before the world went to shit. 

You gasp in surprise when a couple of infected appear out of the blue, their screeches and grunts echoing throughout the vast clearing. You sense Joel stop from his ascent and you look up to meet his eyes, the worry ever-present in his hazel orbs. 

“Infected.” You whisper and look back to the cottage, Joel following your line of sight, grunting before resuming his climb. 

“We’ll take care of them.” He drones, his breathing slightly labored. “But we’ll take care of you first.”

The lookout tower is larger than you’ve anticipated, cleaner, and very much intact than the ones you’ve come across before. With the tower being the farthest checkpoint from Jackson, you’re certain that some of the night patrollers camp out here when the sun gets too low and the ride back is too dangerous to take. The single mattress lying in the corner is enough to prove your theory. And the cabinets lined on one side of the wall and locked shut with chains, you don’t doubt that it’s stocked full of supplies.  

“You get comfortable,” Joel says as he takes you to the bed, a groan escaping his lips when he bends his knees and gently sets you down. 

He makes quick work of you, hands taking hold of the straps of your pack and peeling it off your shoulders along with your leather jacket. Setting your things aside, he kneels in front of you and takes his bag next, flipping open the flap of a pocket and taking out an orange bottle with several pills sitting inside.

“How painful is it?” He asks. “From one to ten with ten being the highest.”

“A six?” You answer him, unsure.

You watch him hum in thought while he stares at the bottle, popping off the cap soon after and slipping two round white tablets into his palm. 

“Better to take two, just to be sure you’ll be okay on our way back.” He states, taking your hand in his and placing the medicine in your hand. “Though you might get a little incoherent with it so best to lay down.”

Without hesitation, you toss the pills in your mouth and take the bottle of water he offers you to wash them down. You’re caught off guard when he suddenly places his hand on your cheek when you finish, your spine tensing as he runs his thumb across your lower lip—the gesture feeling too intimate—before pulling it down and urging you to open your mouth. 

“Let me see.” He commands.

And you furrow your brow in confusion as to why he has to. You keep your mouth close but the tick in his jaw startles you. Doesn’t he trust you taking the pills? He wouldn’t be angry over that, would he? But nonetheless, you choose to disobey and part your lips for him to see your empty mouth.

“Good girl.” He grins and moves his finger under your chin to close your mouth again. But he keeps his hand on your face, his thumb rubbing light circles on the apple of your cheek before he pulls away, seeing the reluctance swimming in his eyes. “I’ll take care of the infected and keep guard while you rest. The medicine should kick in soon.” He says before taking hold of your shoulder and giving you a gentle push to lay down on the mattress. 

You frown up at him. You should be helping him guard the tower and keep an eye on the perimeter yet here you are, first day on the job and you’re already a liability. Joel seems to notice your distress and places a hand on your hip, his fingers tickling the exposed skin.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“You’re supposed to be teaching me how to patrol the area.” You hiccup. “But you’re taking care of me instead. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t be.” He coos and scoots a little closer to you. “This is all part of learning and we’ve learned that you need more practice on horseback.” He chuckles lightly but the mirth in his voice doesn’t penetrate your melancholy. “I’ll teach you how to ride when we get back home, but for now, rest. I won’t be able to defend you when you’re in pain.”

“Okay. Thank you, Joel.” You mumble and then groan when you start feeling light-headed. “I’ll just close my eyes for a bit.” You tell him, blinking your eyes several times when your vision goes blurry. 

His response comes out muffled and you think it’s because the meds have finally entered your bloodstream. You don’t fight the drowsiness that consumes you, instead, you give in. The feeling of your shirt riding up your torso is the last thing you feel before the darkness completely takes over.

The sound of gunshots fills your dreams as the darkness continues to keep your consciousness at bay. A cool sensation kisses your skin, a groan which you cannot place coming from the void. You think it's you but you’re certain it’s someone else, though all thoughts fly away as you feel your body being moved, a tickle trailing from your calf and up to your inner thighs. 

Your core burns and you mewl at the weird feeling building in the pit of your stomach. You try to move your hands, wanting to put a stop to it but your arms feel heavy, effectively pinning you to the bed. The fire grows stronger, heat prickling your entire body and you hear yourself once more, moaning softly and then loudly all at once. 

You wake in a jolt, your eyes bursting wide as you pant heavily against the mattress, your hips trembling and your heart pounding wildly in your chest. You stare at the ceiling, dumbstruck as you try to piece together where you are. But you have trouble forming your thoughts when you feel your skin tingling once more.

You look down to see what’s causing it but your heart constricts when you see that you’re naked from the waist down, the top of Joel’s head resting against your stomach while he plants wet kisses on the length of your hips. His hand is unseen but your feel it caressing your inner thigh, a strangled groan escaping your throat as his fingers run up the folds of your wet cunt. 

“Joel!” You shout and try to move your arms to push him away but you grunt instead, your body still too heavy for you to even move an inch. 

“Sweetheart—” He drones and lifts himself to his knees, your eyes growing wide in fear when you see him stripped off of his pants, leaving him in only his shirt and boxers briefs. “You’re awake.”

“Wh-what are you d-doing?” Your voice trembles when you meet his hazel eyes. “What’s g-going on?”

A smile forms on his lips, one that looks kind and unassuming. But the way his jaw tightens and his nails digging painfully into your flesh, you immediately know that his sentiment is the complete opposite.

“I’m fulfilling my promise, baby.”  Joel hums, taking both your hands in his and lifting them to his lips to press a kiss on your knuckles before pinning them on both sides of your head. “I’m taking care of you.” Tears slip from your eyes when he leans down, his lips pressing on the crook of your neck before trailing them up to your chin and finally capturing your lips with his own. 

He starts out soft and gentle, exploring more than taking as if trying to savor the moment with you. But he becomes demanding all too quickly, forcing his tongue into your mouth and devouring your hungrily, swallowing your moans of protest as you try to struggle against him and free yourself from his grasp. Still, his grip on you is too strong and your efforts are useless as your body refuses to cooperate with your head. 

You try to bite his tongue, to at least gain a sense of control of the situation but he pulls away just in time, a low and dangerous growl rumbling from his chest that has you cowering in dread. He furrows his brows and releases his hold on you, only to wrap his hand tight around your neck, panic driving you to move your hand and grab onto his wrist but your lack of strength leaves you helpless to his anger. 

“I’d be good if I were you, baby.” Joel taunts, releasing your other hand and reaching down to cup his crotch before pulling himself free from his boxers. “We’re far away from Jackson and who’s to say you didn’t accidentally fall down the stairs and hit your head or that you were reckless and got a little too close to an infected and got yourself bit, huh?”

You gasp in shock at his words, fear running up your spine that he would insinuate such things blatantly. 

“You wouldn’t—” You choke.

“You don’t think I can, sweetheart?” He laughs darkly, a reluctant moan escaping your lips when he begins rubbing the tip of his cock against your cunt. “You think Michael was stupid enough to get himself bit?” 

It's as if the world stood still when you hear your father’s name come out of his mouth.

No.

He must have been jumped while patrolling the area, the infected outnumbering him and eventually leading him to his demise. But he had a partner then, surely they would have helped him right? You try to wrack your brain for information, something you missed while you were grieving your father’s death. 

Then it hits you. 

He was with Joel that night. It was him that brought his body back to the settlement. 

It can’t be—Joel couldn’t have—

“Don’t worry yourself, baby.” Joel pulls you away from your thoughts, a devious smirk painted on his lips. “I promised him I’d take care of you, remember?” 

“You murderer!” You shout but your voice dwindles down when he suddenly thrusts his cock in you, pain flaring on your hips as your walls stretch around him, his size too much to handle that you feel like you’ll be split in half. 

He groans when he sits himself to the hilt, your pussy walls fluttering around him when he pulls back slowly only to push in once more, your body rocking against the mattress as he begins to roll his hips against yours, thrusting at an easy and languid pace. 

“It’s just gonna be you and me, baby.” He drawls, a low grunt mixing in his voice with each thrust he makes. 

His hand leaves your neck and moves to grab your tit through your shirt, fondling and squeezing while his other hand presses down on your stomach, his thumb rolling against your clit. Your body writhes from the unwanted pleasure that slowly crawls up your skin, your back tensing, and your cunt fluttering around his cock when he begins to quicken his pace, the sound of your skin slapping against each other taking over the silence that fills the lookout tower and echoes loudly in your ears.

Joel doesn’t relent and you lay weakly on the bed, succumbing to his strength and torturous depravity. Your tears roll down your face as you think of how it came to this. He killed your father for reasons you don’t know and now he’s taking advantage of you, betraying the trust that you have willingly given him and tainting the way you saw him, how you treated him as family. 

He snaps his hips at a merciless rhythm, his pace growing erratic and desperate as he pulls away his hand from your waist only to grab onto your hand and pin it once again at the sides of your head. He growls and presses his forehead against yours, his musky scent mixed with the smell of your arousal wafting in your nose. 

“Your mine, baby.” He groans.

A whimper leaves your lips when you feel his cock slide deeper in you, your mouth hanging open as you try to gasp for air, the intensity of his lust suffocating you, squeezing you tight. You let out a cry once your core begins to burn, the coil within tightening further and further that your mind goes blank from the bliss that wants to escape yet fight hard to keep your release at bay to not give him that satisfaction of bringing you such pleasure.

He whispers your name and you moan when he kisses you once more, sloppy and wreckless, teeth clashing against each other then yelping in pain when he bites down on your lower lip, tasting the metallic tang of blood scattering on your tongue. 

“You feel so amazing, baby.” He groans as he presses his nose against your temple, his warm breath fanning over your face as you cry out once more when you feel yourself getting closer to your peak. “You’re so perfect—so mine.” His voice is low and possessive, his hand leaving your clit and hooking his finger into your mouth, pushing it down to keep your mouth agape. 

You move your arm to wrap your fingers around his wrist, gripping it tightly as your spine arches and your body stills, a wave of sheer pleasure consuming you, drowning you when the coil finally snaps and you fall apart around him. Your pussy walls flutter around him and you moan incoherently, your juices coating his cock, lubricating him further and allowing him to thrust even faster, deeper. 

But he doesn’t take long, stilling his hips and burying himself deep into your core, whimpering when spills his seed inside you, mixing with your own essence. Your name flows from his lips like a prayer as he keeps his face pressed on the side of yours with his lips sloppily moving against your cheek.

You're breathless and limp against the mattress, your body void of strength, and your mind slowly giving up and giving in to Joel's desires. You think of running away, of leaving Jackson and getting away from him. But you know such attempts are a suicide mission and without your dad, you're unsure of how far you'll make it before you get killed or before Joel catches up with you.

“I’ll take care of you, baby.” He repeats once more, unhooking his finger from your mouth and trailing his hand down to your breast, stopping to rest it over your stomach with his fingers lightly caressing your skin.

Your body shivers from his touch the implication bringing you dread. “And pretty soon, we’ll have a family of our own.”

I no longer keep a tag list but if you want to be kept updated on my fics, follow my side blog @springlibrary and turn on notifications.

[luimagines]

OK OK OK BUT LIKE WE GOT *HIM* REALIZING HE LIKE THEM. BUT CAN BE HAVE READER REALIZING THEY LOVE HIM?

Yeeeesss!!!!! I can't wait!! (I've been wanting to write this since I started this blog XD)

Masterlist

Part one will have Time, Twilight and Warrior.

Content under the cut!

Time

It was a quiet acknowledgement.

It was unintentional to boot. You weren't looking for anything with anyone. It was just... a bunch of little things that caught your attention.

When he'd ruffle Wind's and Twilight's hair for fun- how concentrated he'd get in the middle of battle- when he'd help braid Wild's hair to calm him down after a bad night. The quiet way he'd support Warrior from the side. Not to mention just how he leads the group causes you admire him in many ways.

And for a time that was all it was. Admiration. Nothing more, nothing less.

Then you got hurt one day. Your palm was bleeding. Nothing deadly or worrisome but it was your dominant hand. The bandages, swelling and bleeding made it difficult to do much of anything. Not to mention that you kept picking at said bandages, making them fall loose.

Time noticed and puled you aside, rewrapping your hand with grim look on his face. This felt worse, somehow. Like you've disappointed him. He looks pissed, even though he's yet to say a single thing to you.

"I'm sorry." You blurt, hoping that it'll ease whatever tension is on his face.

It doesn't work. If anything he looks angrier. "It's not your fault... I just wish I would have gotten to you sooner. this could have been avoided."

Hold up-

Your heart starts beating faster and your face warms. "Im-impossible, Time. You were so far away."

"Mmm." Time grunts, tightening the bandages once more. "Do me a favor, yeah? Get better. Stop picking at it."

He flicks your forehead playfully, smiling at last. The look... takes your breath away. It's far from perfect. But it's soft and genuine and... you've never seen him look at anyone else like that. You swallow the spit in your mouth, hoping that you're not blushing any more than you already are. "...ok..."

"Good." Time sighs and kisses your forehead. "I worry enough about you as it is."

Did your heart just stop? Hello? Anyone home?

"Thank you." You say and smile back, trying to outwardly keep calm. But on the inside you feel like screaming. Is that good or bad? You don't know yet.

Time smiles again and put his hand on your shoulder. He puts the back of his hand to your cheek and winks. "Always."

You stay there stunned and bite your lip. "...cool..."

He snorts and walks away. "Come on. Or they'll leave us behind."

"Right. I lo-" You panic. What were you about to say? Would you have meant it? I love you? Seriously? Just like that? When did this happen?

Time doesn't seem to notice and keeps walking.

Meanwhile your world just turned on its side. Then again- you've known for a while now, haven't you? It just now where it's grown too obvious to ignore anymore.

You take a deep breath and follow the man back to the group.

Maybe you'll tell him. But another day.

Twilight

Twilight was annoying. You hate to say it. But you would really like to get a grip when it came to him.

It was just some.... stupid puppy crush. There was nothing to it. It was nothing serious- but my god, did it get in the way of literally everything else.

He could say something nice or he would try and be helpful and you would be stuttering and fumbling over yourself. It was stupid. Dumb. Idiotic. You wanted to scream.

At best, you could try to avoid him, but he was so gentle. So sweet. You couldn't even be mad.

You sighed and shook your head, hitting your cheeks a few times to try and get a grip.

"You ok, Darlin'?" Twilight comes up from behind you.

You jump and whip your head around to look at him. You feel like you've been caught doing something suspicious- yet all you were doing was standing there hitting your face. "...Um... Ye-yeah. I'm fine. I'm cool! Don't worry about it."

Twilight raises an eyebrow. "Sure. And you were hitting yourself because...?"

"...I'm tired." You lie. "I feel like I'm about to fall asleep any second now."

Twilight frowns and stands a little straighter. "Everythin' alright? Had a bad night or somethin'?"

You cough and nod. "Yeah, something like that. I haven't been able to sleep well lately. I don't know why."

Yes you do. But it's fine. Totally fine.

Twilight puts the back of his hand to your forehead before either of you realize it. His fingers tips move down over your cheeks and behind your jaw. He frowns and leans in. Your breath stills completely, you think your heart stopped beating.

"Are you feeling alright?" He whispers. "I hope you're not getting sick."

You shake your head, gently taking his hand and moving it away from your face. Your attention instantly goes to the way his hand feels in your. Which is totally normal, right? "I don't think so... It just my brain not shutting up these days. I'll be ok."

Twilight leans back and you feel like you can breathe again. "Are you sure? I can help out if you need a break."

You snort. "Yeah? How?"

"I can carry you for a little bit. It's not like it costs anything."

You flush and shake your head, already feeling annoyed with yourself for not holding it together again. Naturally, you want to blame him. "No, really. I'm ok. Come on. We're being left behind."

Twilight nods and moves to walk to the group, still not looking satisfied with your answers. But then Warrior calls him over for something and with one last look to you, he leaves you behind.

It's the perfect excuse to finally break down and scream quietly. You're worse off than you thought. And he's still so sweet. And you can still feel his hand in yours and against your face and the way he looked at you and-

You whine in the back of your throat. "I think I love him."

Warrior

There was something about him that you couldn't look away from. You couldn't say for certain what it was but you liked it.

You like him, to put it simply. He was charming, funny, confident- he didn't hesitate to act and he was always there to put a smile on someone's face regardless if it was at his expense or not.

Speaking of, he kept to your side as it was pouring cats and dogs, sacrificing his scarf to hold it over your heads. You helped him as it got heavier and heavier, huddling closer to his side as it dipped and drooped.

You sigh and looked at him. "How're you holding up?"

"I might have to drop this thing, sorry." He admits quietly. And he's right. You can already see how tired his arms are getting and the scarf is soaked through already, it's not like it helping keeping either of you dry anymore.

Then again, that doesn't answer your question.

You sigh and shake your head, dropping the scarf already. The rain instantly soaks into your hair and shirt, making everything seem twice as heavy. "Do you think we'll reach the others anytime soon? Wild and Time are still behind us, right?"

Warrior sighs also dropping the scarf. Water drips down his face in an instant. "I'm no longer sure. It's too dark to make out anything directly in front of us. If anything, we might be better just sticking to one spot and waiting either for the others to catch up to us or for the storm to stop."

You hum and think about it for a moment. "Do you think there's any cave nearby to take shelter in? I know there's no lightning but I don't feel conformable taking shelter under a tree, just in case."

Warrior looks around, wiping his face free of as much water as he can. He takes your hand and point. "There's that."

It's not much, a large rock jutting out of the ground with only enough space for you both to sit under it. But it'll have to do. You nod and together you both run to the little respite in the storm.

Warrior instantly does his best to clear the area of smaller rocks and twigs for you both to sit comfortable. your heart squeezes a little at the act. He sits down, pressing his back against the rock and pulls you into his side, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. "I wish I do more..."

"This is good enough." You feel yourself growing shy at the close contact. He's never done this before... or has he? It seems so natural to him that he didn't seem to think twice- it's only now that you're noticing it.

You look down for a moment and tuck yourself closer. Warrior takes off his scarf and sets it aside. He takes off his armor and outer most layers. He's warm, you realize and his tunic is still dry. He gestures for you to do the same. Granted, you don't wear as many layers as he does, but by shedding the first one, you instantly feel better and warmer as he pulls you in closer again.

Only his form is more obvious to you this time around- and yours to him. Warrior doesn't seem bothered by it.

You however can feel yourself blushing. This seems awfully familiar to you. Have you dreamed about it before? Your heart is pounding, but it feels good. You feel happy just at the thought of this.

Hold on.... Why?

....Uh-oh.. are you crushing?

"Feel better?" Warrior whispers next to your ear and you look up at him. You bite your lip and nod, unable to hold the look for long. Warrior chuckles under his breath and rubs your shoulder comfortingly. "Good."

Oh, that laugh is going to haunt you now. You liked him. But now it's complicated.

part 2

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Always have but never hold

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n I mean won't lie really though I would write more than one part but look at us. But wow, thank you all for the love and support!🤍✨

warning: that same angsty struggle bus.

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Carmy had been awake for some time now. Well, he had been slipping in and out of sleep ever since his usual alarm chimed through the quiet and dark bedroom. Five sharp. You had also stirred, pushing against his chest almost robotically as you moved to get up. You were so used to doing that while half asleep that you didn't even rub your eyes to wake yourself up in the slightest. Just as Carmy had gently tightened his grip around you, "Lay down", he muttered softly. You didn't fight him, nestling your head in the crook of Carmy's neck. He once again placed your bandaged hand on his chest. "Five more minutes", you muttered, but Carmy only shushed you gently, running his fingers through your hair. "I won't sleep, just...", you muttered, a smile tugging on Carmy's lips. You were going to fall asleep. If you hadn't already.

It was as if someone had ripped the blindfold off his eyes yesterday. Only yesterday, right before falling asleep, did Carmy notice how tired you looked, how your cheeks had sunken in slightly, and how your skin looked paler. He hated it because that was what he had driven you to. So right before sleep took over, he promised himself to skip tomorrow. Richie was playing big balls anyway. Maybe allowing him a day to do everything himself would be an eye-opener. Well, Carmen still planned to be there for lunch and dinner. He was too anxious to fully leave the restaurant without watch, but he could let himself miss the breakfast rush. For you.

Carmy pulled your leg further up so it lay comfortably over his legs. Fingers holding onto your naked thigh as he drew different patterns. He brought your hand, resting on his chest, to his lips. Something he had done constantly ever since it was placed there. Staying completely still from time to time just so he could listen to your breathing.

Carmen had also let his mind wander to the dinner when he told Mikey about you. "And there's something more, actually", he had muttered after Mikey had looked over the present in his hands. Carmy remembers feeling stupid almost instantly. Like an idiot. He had thought so much. Running it over and over in his head. He knew that he didn't want to tell anyone else about you. But for some reason, he wanted to let Mikey know.

"You're spoiling me", Mikey joked. "It's not a physical gift... not a gift at all... not related... well", Carmy had stuttered all over, hands running through his hair clumsily, "I met a girl, and I just... we're dating". Back then, Carmen had missed it, but now, looking back at the memory, he was convinced that something sparked within Mikey's eyes. Hope? Joy? Some strange emotions that Carmen hadn't seen before. But one thing Carmen remembered very clearly. It's the words that Mikey had said while clasping his shoulder: "Don't you fucking dare break her heart. She's the best thing that's ever happened to you". Those words had sparked all these emotions back then, and Carmy had said nothing in return. Now he would have said that he knew. Even before all the shit went titts up, Carmen knew that you would be there for him. Through it all.

Now he wanted nothing more but to lecture himself on how he had chosen to neglect you. He felt guilty for just pushing you headfirst into things that were not at all important to you. Carmen didn't even remember the last time he saw you with a brush between your fingers. Did you even have paint in this apartment? Well, you haven't even unpacked the boxes. Living out of them as if wishing that one morning you two will wake up and realize that all of this has just been a nightmare. That you were still growing individually, happy in your own tiny, chaotic bubble. Not sacrificing everything for one another constantly.

You stirred slightly in Carmy's embrace, and he instantly snapped himself out of the trance, moving to run his fingers over your skin in hopes of keeping you sleeping a bit longer. He had forgotten how uneasy your sleep was. Carmen let you hold him through the nights now, following everything that had happened, and stopped paying attention to your nightmares. Fears.

"Hey", your light, groggy voice filled the silence, and Carmy instantly looked down at you. "Hi", he whispered back. A light smile casts across your face, and Carmy wishes he could freeze it in time, especially when it's so quickly replaced by a frown and you shuffle to get up, peeking over at the clock standing on the bedside table. "Shit, fuck, Carm, we are late", you quickly reach for the covers, but Carmy only tightens his grip on you.

"We're not", he mutters, and you look at him all confused. "It's past eight! We have... We haven't... the food". Carmy watches you before moving to lift himself higher on his elbows, one hand reaching for your face. "I know what time it is and what hasn't been done. Just...", he swallows thickly, "Just after last night... After last night, I thought we needed to have a slow morning". And you did have the best sleep in a long time. Leaving your body almost feeling funny at the number of hours it had finally had to rest. You let yourself just sit there. On the thing you two called bed, that was nothing more than a matter on the floor. Carmy slowly ran his fingers over your exposed thighs, not rushing you to wake yourself up fully.

"Do you remember how you would sneak into my room back in New York?", you muttered, and Carmy's cheeks grew pink instantly. You were truly his first crush back then. His first in many ways. He didn't know what longing for someone felt like until you were there, only a door away, and he couldn't go without saying goodbye, without a kiss on your cheek. Awkward as fuck was he with you back then, but you loved him regardless. "Which time when I kiss you or break your bed?", he said in an almost teasing manner, and you let out a chuckle, lowering down to lay beside him once more. "You said it was an accident, but I never bought it. You did it on purpose", you said, tapping your finger on his chest. "How else was I supposed to make sure that you slept with me every night?", Carmy stated, and you burst out laughing, because indeed, ever since then, you had always slept in Carmy's bed.

"I've missed you like this", he muttered, and you instantly tilted your head up so you could see his face. "What do you mean?", "So... so you... just you and alive", he said, and you bit the inside of your cheek. You wanted to tell him that he had nothing to do with it and that it was just life. A series of bad events, but you didn't. Not in the way you wished you would have. "I want you to be okay", you muttered, "If that means losing a part of me, so be it." Carmy nodded, but you could tell that he was slowly slipping back into his head. "I love you", you muttered in hopes of still dragging him out, but he never said it back. Not with words, at least. Carmy pulled you closer to his chest, gently pressing a couple of kisses to the crown of your head.

You two walked hand in hand down towards the restaurant. Talking on and on about little things. The potential slots of free time to finally unpack, the furniture sale down the block from where you lived next Friday. You could tell that the closer you got to the restaurant, the more fidgety he got. His lips thinned, and he dropped your hand so he could pull out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one up as he went. The ache within your chest grew, but then it was your fault for believing that everything could just change in a day.

Tina dropped her cigarette as she saw you two approaching; her hands moved to cup your face as she looked you over, "Oh, mi hija, I was worried sick". You smiled at her, pressing your hands over hers, "All okay, no more bleeding on the counter, chef". You could tell from the look in her eyes that the worry wasn't all just based on the injury; there was more. You walked out, and here you were again. But she dropped it, glancing at Carmy for a moment before bringing you into a quick hug. "You deserve better", Tina muttered, only for you to hear. You pulled away, slightly startled by her words. Turning your head to where Carmy stood, you found an empty spot there.

The cigarette was carelessly burning between your fingers. You had closed the door to the office the moment you stepped inside and had only now slipped out for a smoke. You did catch Richie's gaze from across the hall—maybe even a need to strike up a conversation—but then again, he was most definitely going to scream or say some shit, so you were more than glad to just leave it all behind the wooden door.

"Oh, I...", you didn't hear the crack on the door but managed to catch a glimpse of Sydney, who was already on her way back inside. "No, no, stay; there's enough space for two here", she laughed nervously at your words but stepped out without a second thought. Sitting down on the ledge beside you, Sydney sipped the water out of the plastic jug. "How's your hand?", she asked, pointing to the bandage after a few moments. You looked down to examine it yourself. It still ached slightly, but if you were being honest, you didn't feel it that much now.

"In place", you muttered, clenching and unclenching your fingers. "How's the kitchen?", you threw a glance her way, "Not on fire", she shrugged her shoulders. "Yet", you both said at the same time, and you bust out into fits of giggles once your eyes meet. "I saw the... well, the book of suggestions you have for this place", you said, tapping the cigarette against the edge of the ashtray. Sydney instantly tensed again, "Oh, don't take it personally; just I was messing around and...", "It looked well thought out to me", you said calmly. She was exactly what this place needed. Someone with a head. Well, a well-working head at that. And passion. Finding joy in the hustle of the kitchen. She had that same drive that Carmy used to have back in the day. The glistening spark in her eyes.

"I'm not saying that this place is run badly", Sydney rubbed her hands together nervously, and you instantly threw her a look, so she sighed, knowing full well what it meant. "No, okay, it's shit", she admitted. And she was right. Carmy had too much on his hands. If he was focused on one part, the other was suffering. A never-ending cycle. "I'll make sure Carmy looks through it", You smiled at her softly, and she returned the gesture.

"You two...", Sydney said awkwardly, not daring to fully finish her thought. You nodded your head, letting another cloud of smoke slip past your lips. "We're dating, yeah," if you take dating in its most basic form. It was funny that you had to double-check in your brain if Carmen had asked you out properly. "He had some serious beef with Richie today", you turn your head to Sydney instantly at the sound of that. "Bout what?", "You", your gaze is focused on Sydney, and you two just stay like that for a moment.

Then you let your shoulders slump, running a hand through your hair. "Mmm, Richie specializes in hating me", you muttered, not daring to look back at the girl next to you. Yet you wondered what had happened. Had Richie finally gone to Carmy? Had he said it all the same way he's been saying it to you? Listing the reasons why you shouldn't be here. Why Carmy should have never fallen for you.

"He looked pretty worried to me, but then again, I don't know them much", and Sydney's words seem genuine, but you just couldn't fathom how Richie and worried could go in the same sentence. Especially when it came to you. "Don't pay them much attention", you muttered, moving to crush your cigarette. You stepped closer to the door, ready to disappear before halting. "Hey, Sydney", you said, catching her gaze from across the side alley. "You're doing great so far. Proud of you", the rawest form of emotion ran through her eyes and features. She didn't say anything; she just nodded her head, but you knew she needed it, and you were glad you could give it to her.

You were sorting through the last bin full of letters and papers when Carmy walked in, a plate in his hand. "Late lunch for my girl", he said with a light smile, and you instantly moved the pile to the side. "What's this princess treatment I'm getting?", you teased him, and Carmen's gaze instantly tightened. You knew well that one way he expressed his love was through food. Words failed him almost always. Actions... Also, something he needed to improve, but one thing that always stayed true was making food. The meals he prepared said it all. They carried love, and the little details showed just how much thought went into them.

"I don't recognize this place", Carmy said, looking around the tiny office. "Can you believe that you have a desk?", you said, pointing to the now junk-free space. You hadn't seen that surface since you stepped in here, and now you're looking at that white surface. It felt as if there was more breathing space here. "No, I thought about getting a new one", Carmy sat down beside you, eyes watching every bite you took. That was another thing that he did. Watching you eat, looking out for reactions. For anything that might indicate your feelings from within.

"This is delightful, chef", you said, mouth full of the sandwich. "Richie hates it", Carmy said in return, throwing his head back in frustration. "Richie hates most things; his judgment shouldn't be something you take so personally", you reached for Carmy's hand, rubbing your fingers over the shell of it. "He's a big part of this", Carmy breathed out again, moving to nuzzle closer to your side. The side hug was uncomfortable, with him nearly meandering over you and his head hitting your thighs, but you let him recharge for a moment. Knowing that he's been at the battlefield all day.

"Will you help with family tonight?", he asked again after some time. "I mean, would you like to", he corrected his own words quickly before lifting his eyes to you. You brushed his messy curls away from his face. "I will; I just want to sort through the last box, and I'll come out", You wanted to make sure that you had looked, opened, and added up all the bills. This place needed to start running smoothly. So getting the finances straight was important. "Don't rush", Carmy said, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck before cupping the side of your face. "And eat this. I want a clean plate, chef". You rolled your eyes, leaning in to softly kiss his lips. "Heard, chef", you muttered, watching him leave.

The phone pinged at the side of the table right as you were sorting out the last bits of paperwork. Gosh, you just hoped the last payment you made today would kill the never-ending fire of phone calls, messages, and emails, but the happiness was short-lived. You picked it up without double-checking it. Flipping the screen towards your face then your body stilled. You did a double-take. Closing your eyes and opening them up again. Blinking rapidly for a bit, but it still read Claire: I'm so glad I got to see you again. Your guts twisted. A cold shiver ran through your spine, making your fingers tingle. Panic rose in your chest. Who the hell was Claire, and when had Carmy met up with her? He didn't mention going anywhere. Was she someone he knew? Maybe it was nothing and you were reading into... Another ping slit the silence: Hopefully, we'll see each other soon. I miss your silly face already. You bit the insides of your cheeks, feeling the metallic taste almost immediately. You stared at it for a moment. Letting the words sink in before locking Carmy's phone and placing it back where it was.

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Taglist: @nishinoyahhh @thewulf @shewasthelimit

[thoseboysinblue]

I Kissed Someone New Last Night

Christian Pulisic x reader

You visit your best friend, Christian, in Milan after a break up.

Word count: 4150+

Warnings: Fluff, swearing, mentions of weight loss, mentions of death of parents

Song Inspo: Kelsea Ballerini's Penthouse (Healed Version)

Requested: No

"Come to Milan" he pleads with you through the phone, "I'm worried about you, y/n."

"Christian, you know I can't do that," you frown at him.

"Please," he says quietly, "you've lost too much weight, you're not taking care of yourself, and no offense but you kind of look like shit," he tries to lighten the mood just a bit.

The truth is, there is nothing stopping you from hopping on the next flight to see your best friend and both of you know it. You broke off your engagement a few months ago, after finding out your fiancé was cheating on you. You also recently quit your job because no matter how hard you tried you always were bumping into him and you desperately needed a fresh start.

You had considered moving to Florida to be closer to Christian's family, the only real support system you had left. And even though he was far away, Christian never failed to be there for you through every heartbreak you had endured in your short life.

The night your mom died when the two of you were in high school, he dropped everything to be by your side, staying with you through all of it, holding you when you cried, staying strong for you when you completely fell apart.

He flew home as soon as he heard the news of your father's passing a few years later, and again, he was your rock. As everything in your life seemed to crash down, he was the constant, steady presence.

His family had welcomed you with open arms, including you in their holidays, family vacations, and trips to visit Christian and watch him play. They always made sure you felt like you had a place to call home. In recent years, you had opted to go to Christian for holidays so that he wouldn't have to spend them alone, the two of you setting about creating your own traditions. That was until your ex came along and you felt like you should spend holidays with him, but it broke your heart knowing Christian was spending them alone again.

Christian never really liked your ex, he couldn't put his finger on exactly why, but something about him made his guard go up. And it broke his heart when he found out he was right all along, maybe if he had said something he could have spared you the heartbreak, but you seemed happy and he wasn't going to interfere if that was truly the case.

"Come see me, I'll take care of you, I'll feed you pasta and let you get drunk on Italian wine. We can see the city together, I haven't gotten to do much exploring yet. It will be good for you to get away, take a break, get some fresh air, come on y/n, please?" he continues to plead with you.

"Ok" you whisper and you see his face light up, immediately grabbing his laptop and searching for flights before you have a chance to change your mind.

"How soon can you leave, looks like I can get you on a flight tonight, or tomorrow," he grins into the phone.

"Christian, you don't have to do that, I'll book something," you roll your eyes at him. He never failed to be generous and take care of you, whatever you needed, you didn't even have to ask most of the time.

"Nope. Not happening. Tonight or tomorrow, y/n? You better give me an answer or I'm closing h my eyes and clicking on whatever I land on," he chuckles.

"Fuck it, tonight," you grin at him, the first genuine smile he's seen from you in as long as he can remember.

You have to admit that the thought of landing in Italy tomorrow morning to spend however long you wanted with Christian makes you a little dizzy.

"Ok, pack your bags sweetheart, I'm sending you your boarding pass now," he smiles at you, "fuck I'm so excited to see you, it's been ages since we've gotten to spend time together."

"Christian, I just saw you this summer in Florida," you chuckle at him.

"Yeah, but that was less than 24 hours and you had the dickhead with you so it doesn't really count," he huffs at you.

"Christian this boarding pass says seat 4C, you did not just book me a first class ticket did you, you jackass."

"I sure did, because I can, and because I wanted to, and because there wasn't much left on the flight anyways. Now, get off the phone and start packing. Call me when you leave for the airport. Love you, y/n."

"Love you too, Chris." you shake your head at him before you hang up.

A few hours later, you have taken care of anything that might need your attention in the next few weeks since you were unsure of exactly when you would be back. You had packed and showered, and were set to leave for the airport. Making one final check that you had everything you needed, you call Christian, who answers sleepily, "I'm headed to the airport," you smile, even though he can't see you. "Ok, I'll see you in the morning," he says through a yawn, "safe travels."

"Thank you for this" you whisper but you can hear him snoring through the phone so you quietly end the call, after whispering another "love you."

You phone dings when you turn it off of airplane mode and you look down to see a message from Christian.

Christian: ciao bella 🤌🏻 there will be a car waiting for you to take you to my apartment. I'll be in training when you land, but should be home when you get there. Can't wait to see you 🫶🏻 Love you.

Y/N: oh god, am I going to be subjected to your attempts at learning Italian?

Y/N: thank you for the flight and arranging the car. I'll meet you at home. I can't wait to see you either. Love you, Chris 🫶🏻

Christian: do not insult my Italian, y/n. On my way home now, see you there 😍

When you arrive, he is waiting outside for you, pulling you into a warm embrace. It feels like he might crush you, but being in his arms heals your soul just a tiny bit.

"You've bulked up," you chuckle, your head resting against his chest. "You're skin and bones" he whispers leaning down to kiss the top of your head.

"Come on" he says retrieving your bags from the car and thanking the driver, waving off your attempts to help carry your things.

He leads you inside his new apartment, sitting your bags just inside the door before intertwining his fingers with yours, "let me show you around," he smiles at you adoringly.

He leads you from room to room, letting you know his plans for each of the ones that aren't quiet fully furnished yet. He grabs your bags as you follow him up the stairs opening the door to what you presume is his bedroom.

"Christian, this is gorgeous," you say taking in the room, the view out of his window to die for.

"It is," he smiles, never taking his eyes off of you.

You and Christian always share a bed when you are together so you aren't sure why it makes you slightly nervous to think about staying with him now, but it does. Your stomach flips as he moves your bag into the walk in closet, sitting your toiletry bag on the bathroom counter.

"Are you tired?" he whispers tucking a loose strand of hair around your ear and settling his hand on you jaw, smiling a the way you lean into him and shake your head, your eyes already a little brighter.

"Hungry?" he grins when you nod.

"You feel up to going somewhere, or do you want me to cook here, or we can order in?"

"We can go out, but can I have a few minutes to freshen up? You know I always feel gross after a long flight."

"Of course," he smiles, leading you into the bathroom, grabbing a towel for you and turning on the shower.

"Thank you," you whisper, wrapping your arms around his waist, "for everything," a couple of tears slip from your eyes which you try to hide from him but he definitely notices.

"Always, y/n" he breathes out, kissing you on the forehead.

After your shower, you wrap yourself in a towel, walking into Christian's room so that you can grab some clothes out of your suitcase. Christian is sitting on the bed when you walk out of the bathroom and his heart sinks when he realizes just how thin you've gotten. He knows it's just from the stress, and that you tend to lose weight when you are dealing with heavy emotions, and that you always return to your normal with a little TLC, usually from him.

He doesn't say anything, he knows he doesn't have to, you can read perfectly well the look of concern on his face.

"I'll be fine, Christian," you whisper as he nods.

"I know you will be now," he offers you a weak smile, but the look of concern is still evident.

You quickly get dressed, noticing that Christian has already unpacked your things and placed them on the empty shelves in his closet, your heart fluttering at the kind gesture.

"Come here" he gestures, patting the empty space on the bed beside him.

You waste no time in climbing over him and tucking yourself into his side, your head resting on his chest as he scratches your back.

"You know I'm here for anything you need, right? Forever." he speaks quietly.

You nod, allowing the familiar sound of his heart and his scent to wash over you. You never feel more cared for than you do when you are wrapped in Christian's arms, his warm embrace always soothing you, no matter what is going on in your life.

"You sure you don't want a nap," he asks quietly, a small yawn escaping his lips.

"We can nap if you are tired, Chris," you whisper.

"That's not what I asked," he chuckles.

Your stomach rumbles loudly and he kisses you on the top of the head, "food first, then naps."

He takes you to a small restaurant close to his apartment, filling you with as much pasta as you can hold before you make the short walk back to his place.

Once you arrive back at Christian's, he closes the room darkening shades in his living room and the two of you settle down on the couch to watch a movie.

Before long, you fall asleep wrapped up in Christian's arms and he does the same. You aren't sure how long you've slept when you stir slightly, waking Christian up.

"You ok?" he whispers into the dark, a sigh escaping his lips when you nod and nuzzle your face into his chest. You let out a giggle when his stomach rumbles, "you can't be hungry again, Chris."

"I'm starving, actually" he chuckles when you move slightly allowing him to stand up and pull you to your feet. He makes the two of you a sandwich, both of you eating before heading up to get changed for bed.

You wander out of the en-suite bathroom in Christian's room after finishing your skincare to find Christian sitting in the bed, already under the covers.

You give him a hesitant look, chewing on your bottom lip, "you sure you want me to stay in here, I could stay in the guest room or..." you trail off as he stands up and makes his way over to you wrapping you in a hug.

"Why wouldn't you stay in here, we've been sharing a bed since we were kids, y/n," he says quietly his hand stroking your back.

"I don't know," you whisper, "I just wasn't sure you wanted me in here."

"Of course I do," he says taking your hand and guiding you towards the bed, "but only if you want to be in here. I can definitely get you set up in the guest room if you would feel more comfortable."

"No, this is fine," you offer him a smile, your moment of anxiety passing.

"You know, I think my parents always thought we were up to something when we kept sharing a bed when we got older," he chuckles, "led to me getting the talk from my dad on more than one occasion."

"No, really?" you groan, your cheeks painted with embarrassment as you try to hide your face with your hands.

"Mmmhmmm" he laughs pulling your hands from your face, "I think they were worried that we might figure out that one of us is a boy and the other is a girl when we were younger, but as we got older, I think there were secretly rooting for it."

"I figured they would eventually put a stop to it, but I guess they trusted you far more than the trusted me," he grins.

"Guess we've disappointed them then," you chuckle tucking yourself into his side as he kisses the top of your head.

"Sleep well, y/n, wake me if you need anything," he whispers as he turns off the lights leaving the two of you wrapped up in nothing but the darkness and each other's arms.

The next several days in Milan Christian works to improve your mood as much as he can, enjoying when he catches flickers of you returning to your normal self.

You wake up early with him, enjoying quiet mornings before he has to leave for training. He even asks if he can bring you along for a few sessions giving you a chance to catch up with his old Chelsea teammates. You spend afternoons wandering the city and learning Italian with him. Evenings, which he knows you typically dread, are spent, snuggled up together watching movies or binge watching some of your favorite series.

Being constantly surrounded by Christian's presence is working wonders for you, you can feel yourself healing from everything you've been through the past few months. During a face time with Christian's mom she mentions that she can tell both of you are in a better place mentally and physically and that she's glad you are getting to spend some time together.

You cannot deny how much you enjoy being with him, here in a safe bubble, seemingly protected from the outside world. And Christian, he's enjoying your company more and more each day. Things are seamless and comfortable between the two of you, conversations are easy, and the silences are never awkward.

He has been thrilled to have you with him as he embarks on a new season with Milan. You've been able to travel to away games with him and we're blown away on your first trip to the San Siro.

One particularly warm evening after a match, you walk out of the bathroom in a pair of pajamas that show far more skin than any others you've worn around him. You pretend not to notice the way his breath hitches in his throat when he sees you and the way his eyes follow you as you slip into bed next to him.

"You ok?" you whisper, resting your head on his chest noticing the way his heart is hammering away.

"Couldn't be better," he sighs, trailing his hands over the exposed skin on your back and shoulders noticing when your skin erupts in goosebumps, a reaction he's not used to from you.

"I've got the next couple of days off, I thought we might take a little trip to Lake Como tomorrow, have some lunch, see the area," he says quietly, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"That sounds nice," you whisper, turning to place a kiss to his chest.

"And I have a surprise for you tomorrow night," he smiles as you turn to look him in the eyes, resting your chin on his chest.

"You know I hate surprises," you grin, a glint of playfulness in your eyes.

"I know, but this is a good one, and you're not getting it out of me," he grins back at you, tickling your sides and making you squeal.

"Now, let's get some sleep, we have an early morning tomorrow," he says, reaching to turn off the light and gesturing for you to turn on your side so that he can be the big spoon.

"Good night y/n," he whispers, "love you," as he places a feather light kiss on your shoulder, so light you almost don't notice it.

"Good night, Chris, love you too." You whisper back to him, intertwining your fingers with his.

The next morning, you both wake up early and have a quick breakfast before leaving for the day's adventure. Lake Como is more beautiful than you could imagine and you share a lunch that borderlines on romantic at a small cafe that overlooks the lake.

"I can't believe we are here," you nudge him with your shoulder as you walk down a small path towards the waters edge.

"I'm sure you could sweep some lucky girl off of her feet here," you chuckle at him noticing the way his cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

"Probably, but that's not what today is about is it," he rolls his eyes at you, "today is about me and you spending time together, not me scoping out potential date spots."

"I know, but what better place to fall in love than Italy, Christian," you say, twirling yourself around in front of him, missing the absolutely smitten look on his face.

"Maybe," he shrugs his shoulders, his eyes never leaving you.

"Are you going to tell me what this surprise is?" you ask him, looping your arm through his and resting your head on his shoulder. Noticing the way his skin reacts to your fingers tracing over his skin.

You like Kelsea Ballerini right?" he asks, as he rests his head on the top of yours as you both of you stare out over the water at the colorful houses dotting the horizon.

"I do, her new album is practically an anthem for my life right now, why?" you breathe out, shuddering as his arm wraps around your waist and pulls you closer to him.

"She's playing at the stadium tonight, and I might have gotten tickets for us," he says lowly, tilting his head up so that he can look you in the eyes and see your reaction.

"Playing at the stadium, as in your stadium? In Milan?" you nearly squeal, turning to fully face him as he nods.

"Thank you," your voice comes out low, barely above a whisper as tears well in your eyes, "for this, and for everything, you've always been the one person I could count on no matter what, and I honestly don't know what I would do without you."

You press a gentle kiss to his cheek, lingering a bit longer than normal as you notice him swallow dryly.

Leaning back slightly, you take in his features, suddenly mesmerized by his beauty. You've always known Christian was attractive, that much was obvious to you, but Italy has done him a world of good. His summer tan has lingered a bit longer, freckles dancing over his skin, and his eyes seem a bit brighter and more full of hope than you've seen them in a while. You catch your gaze lingering over his lips, noticing how soft and plump they are and wondering what they might feel like pressed against your own.

Christian has been your best friend for as long as you can remember, there isn't a single core memory of yours that doesn't involve him, being here with him the past couple of weeks, his patience, support and attentiveness have healed parts of you you didn't know needed healing.

Part of you never thought it was possible to develop feelings for him beyond friendship, and yet, when he's looking at you the way he is at this very moment, it makes you wonder if there couldn't be something more there.

"You're staring," he whispers, enjoying the flood of color that rushes to your cheeks.

"Am I not allowed to stare at my best friend? You're kind of beautiful you know?" you say, your eyes never leaving his.

"You're the beautiful one," he whispers, leaning down and glancing at your lips, almost as if he's thinking of kissing them before kissing the tip of your nose.

You turn, facing the horizon again as his arms squeeze your waist. "I love it here," you breathe out, feeling him nod as he rests his chin on your shoulder, but you aren't quite sure if by "here" you mean your actual location, or if you mean in Christian's arms.

"We should go," he gives you a gentle squeeze and slides his hand into yours.

The car ride home is quiet, he can tell you're lost in your own thoughts and he'd give anything to know what you are thinking about as you stare out of the window. Truthfully, he's a bit lost in his on thoughts as well, trying to come to terms with everything he's been feeling over the last few days.

Back at his apartment, you start getting ready for the concert, Christian ordering dinner for the two of you to eat as you get ready. You pick out a flowy dress, something that accentuates your best features, wanting to look pretty for yourself, and you catch yourself thinking that you also want to look pretty for him. You want him to be proud to have you with him, not that he's ever made you feel otherwise.

Once you are finally ready to go, you walk out of his bathroom about the same time as he walks out of his closet, also dressed and ready to go. You both silently stare at each other, soaking one another in before his lips curl slightly at the edges as he makes his way over to you.

"You look beautiful as always," he smiles, pressing a kiss to your cheek, dangerously close to the corner of your mouth.

"So do you," you blush slightly at his compliment as he takes your hand and leads you to the car waiting to pick you up.

The concert is amazing, Christian never leaves your side, and most of the night he has one or both arms wrapped around your waist.

As the first notes of "Penthouse" ring out around the stadium he moves so that he is standing behind you, both arms around your waist and his chin resting on your shoulder as he gently sways with you to the music.

Tears well in your eyes at the words that seem so very personal to you, a few spill over as Christian grips onto your hips turns you around. He brings his hands up to cup your face as he brushes the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs as the music fades out.

You're staring at each other, both of you knowing exactly what is coming next, as she belts out the healed version of "I kissed someone new last night, and now I don't care where your sleeping baby," Christian presses his lips to yours.

The kiss is soft and slow, and without a moment's hesitation you grip your fingertips into his t-shirt as you melt into the kiss; his lips slotting perfectly against yours, just as you had imagined they would. Suddenly, it feels like all of the pieces have fallen into place.

He pulls back and rests his forehead against yours, "I love you, y/n" he says quietly, only loud enough for you to hear. A couple of tears fall from your eyes, as you nod and say "I love you too, Christian."

"No, baby, I need you to understand what I'm saying. I'm in love with you, I am desperately in love with you," he says as he bumps his nose against yours.

"I know, and I'm in love with you too," you grin, a squeal escaping your lips as he picks you up and spins you around.

"Stay in Italy with me, I can't bare for you to leave me," he says as he pulls you closer to him, burying his face into your neck, "we can both start over here, and we can start building a life together," he says hesitantly, searching your features for an answer he is hoping will be yes.

You nod and he crashes his lips back to yours in a much heavier yet still reserved kiss considering you are in public.

"So you're staying," he mumbles against your lips.

"I'm staying" you grin, "until you're sick of me."

"That's never going to happen sweetheart," he smiles sweetly, "never."

Tag list:

@chelseagirl98 @neverinadream @masonspulisic @pulisicsgirl @swimmingismywholelife @lovelynikol16 @nyctophilic0vitnir @lunamelona @tall-tanned-tattoo @lizzypotter14

[guccybangtan]

some thoughts about sebastian sallow (playing through as a gryffindor)

*this isn't going to be bit by bit but rather little random thoughts I had as I was playing! maybe i'll make a part two with more random thoughts lol

you can't tell me this fool wasn't smitten with you from the moment you beat him dueling in defense against the dark arts

at first he didn't know how to feel, surprised that he lost to the new fifth-year (also considering they're a filthy Gryffindor)

"not bad for a beginner, you give as good as you get"

Sebastian literally sneaking into the restricted section with you?? and taking the fall? there's no way he had no feelings for you.

Why would anyone get in trouble for some other student they just met and didn't really know?

the first (and like only tbh) real fight the two of you ever had was when he called you ignorant for trusting Lodgok. All you wanted was to stop Ranrock and help Anne in the process. Why couldn't he understand that?

Of course this made you upset, and so you told him off. If he couldn't see that he was taking things too far you needed to remind him.

even when his mind was preoccupied with Anne and his emotions, his still felt the need to apologize for his actions

when he said "I do trust you" after arguing

him hyping you up after viewing Isadora's pensive.

"you've more than proven yourself! you have the ability!"

he would be so supportive of you, even though you come from different houses.

I feel like Ominis would be one of your best friends too.

after everything that happened over the course of fifth year, he'd feel like he could trust you like he trusts Sebastian. You'd become like family to him.

I also totally imagine Ominis harassing Sebastian and being like "where's your Gryffindor?" or "haven't seen your Gryffindor around lately." or honestly maybe even "how's our Gryffindor doing?" once you get closer

making him cast crucio on you? good lord he almost lost his mind. He likely felt so bad for having to hurt the only person who was standing by his side and truly helping him.

him immediately asking if you were all right. I literally fell in love.

You standing by him even when everything happened with Anne and Uncle Solomon in the catacombs.

He knew then that he made the right choice befriending you, and that maybe there was nothing wrong with loving a Gryffindor.

'' I'm glad you came to Hogwarts"

I'd love to hear everyone else's thoughts about him!!

[merbear25]

Until Eternity

Are you mistaken? You could have sworn you'd seen him before. Nothing springs to mind, but there's certainly a familiarity lingering behind his eyes. I love the song "Until Eternity" by Blackbriar and was inspired...

Law

SFW, gn!reader

Time has often been described as a circle—never ending, always pushing forward. And love has, by some, been called 'fleeting'.

"Dare to dream," you're told. But not of love. "Don't dare dream of such frivolous things for doing so will only lead to disappointment."

Those words buzz in your head as your eyes meet ones which held a dark interest. To think that those warnings of love resurfaced at that instance, from a meer glance.

Even so, you catch yourself sneeking looks at him, his gaze never breaking away from you. Despite the intensity of his eyes burrowing into you, you felt no discomfort. In fact, it got you wondering, "Haven't I seen him before?"

Looking back at him, he hasn't moved from his spot across the bar. Your body is drawn towards him and you're pulled to your feet. The hesitation in your step isn't from intimidation but from the curious feeling of knowing him strengthening.

"How do I know you?" you whisper to yourself. However, you were close enough to be audible to the man in question.

"We've never met," his icy tone made you recoil.

Your embarrassment spread across your face in a shade of crimson. Regretting the actions leading up to this point, you give him a meek apology.

"You look familiar to me too, though," his tone went unchanged.

"It's curious isn't it?" You start, taking this opportunity to have a seat. "It feels as if I've come across you in a dream." Realizing how childish of an example that is, you attempt to support it, "They say that those you see in your dreams are never figmants of your imagination. They're always of people you've seen before."

"Is that right?" his skepticism was more than apparent. "Do you believe that?"

"It doesn't seem too farfetched. There are far crazier things to believe, I guess."

"Such as?"

"Well, soulmates, for starters," saying that didn't quite sit well with you but realistically, how could it be true?

The chill from his demeanor nipped at you as a low chuckle passed through his lips and a smirk crept onto his face, all of which placing a feeling of uncertainty upon your shoulders.

You ball your hands up in your lap and shoot back with, "Well, what's your explanation then?"

His face reverted back to its stoic nature. Pondering the possibilities, he was unable to give much of a counter argument.

Choosing to be the one to break the silence, you inform, "Look, neither of us know why. All I can say is that there's an eerie familiarity from your eyes and, now that we've spoken a bit, also from your voice."

The intensity from him was persistant.

"But maybe it's just one-sided," your posture stiffened and you turned to get out of your seat.

"It's not."

"Sorry?"

"It's not just you. I've never been one to believe in such things, but there's sure to be some reason to it all."

The subtle shift in his voice made you feel more at ease.

"Supposing soulmates do exist," he continued, maintaining eye contact, "I don't see any harm in getting to know this version of each other."

He extended his hand. The out-of-place formality of it made you giggle, and you gladly took it. "Name's Law. And you are...?"

[k-s-morgan]

Hey K, have you seen the controversy around Hugh Dancy’s answers to hannigram-related questions at the Fan expo? Some fans are mad saying he’s a Hannigram denier but I’ve been in this fandom for 11 years now and honestly, reading his answers, he’s still saying the same stuff he always did though? So I’m a bit confused as to why people are angry with his answers?

He always acknowledged they loved each other, that it was a romance, but platonic. Also, I think he’s got a very British sense of humor and is sarcastic and ironic a lot and was never really into discussing hannigram as an openly gay romance, but more so because he is a literal guy in the way he communicates. Tons of Brits are like that. Especially actors, they’re not keen on doing fan service or saying what people like to hear. Mads on the other hand, loves enticing the audience and talking about Hannigram the way they want to hear.

All in all, maybe it’s bc some of these people are new to the fandom, but I literally think that this was just Hugh being Hugh and he gave mostly the same responses as he’s done in the past. It’s a mix of his sense of humor and the tone of the fan expo which is light and not necessarily a proper interview where he’d be more serious and give long answers.

Overall, what do you think?

Hi! Yes, I know a lot of people were unhappy with Hugh's responses - I'm not watching the fandom as closely as I used to, but I'm still keeping an eye on it.

I agree with you in that I heard nothing new. In my opinion, the problem lies in the reputation of 'Hannibal' fandom. We're known as a (mostly) cozy place where the biggest M/M ship is canon and actively supported by cast, writers, and the director. They all said so many wonderful things over the years, things that keep being repeated and are taken as a fandom Bible.

That's why people might still be unpleasantly surprised when they hear Hugh's reserved, distant replies, or Mads' weirdly shallow answers, or Bryan's ideas that are all over the place.

The truth is, ten years separate these people from their work. Hugh in particular hasn't even seen S3 as a complete product, at least from what I lasted heard. Besides, they all have been inconsistent even when the show was airing - Hugh has an interesting habit of saying different things depending on what kind of interview he's giving and who he's with. As an example, in the commentary to S3, he agreed with Bryan that Will was jealous of Bedelia and snapping at her because of it, but then later, he said Will disliked Bedelia for basically being a bad person, with jealousy being unrelated to it.

I'll be the first person to admit that some of Hugh's (and others') answers make no sense or contradict the show, but over the years, I got very used to it, to the point where it doesn't faze me any longer.

Hugh thinks it would take Will 7 season to fall in love with Hannibal, even though 7 seasons haven't been in the plans for over a decade (as Bryan has settled on 5 ages ago), and Will's silence to Bedelia's question and his further choices clearly meant to show he reciprocates? Ok. Hugh things Will's feelings for Hannibal are unrelated to his feelings regarding his own darkness? Fine - at least he acknowledged Will is dark because sometimes there are some denials about it. He thinks Will's decision to betray Jack and Alana and get a bunch of innocent people killed has nothing to do with his love for Hannibal? Lol, but all right.

I don't believe S4 will ever happen. Now, if it's announced, and then I keep hearing the stuff I really don't like, I might get worried, but as it is, I just save the things I agree with and ignore the rest :D The show is over, and we are all invited to come up with our own version of Will and Hannibal's future life. I'm also absolutely certain that we, passionate fans, know the show much, much better than people who were involved in it a decade ago. I mean, if I finished writing a fic 2 years ago, then a reader who just read it will probably know it better than I do at this point. It's natural.

Also, during this reunion, so many wonderful things were said, too. About Hannibal inviting Molly 'for dinner' and Will describing him as a 'therapist' to her, Hannibal urging Will to lose at least a dog or two out of the thousand when they are on the run, Will being annoyed by Hannibal's fussy kitchen habits, etc.

Basically, I don't think we heard anything new or bad. Some answers might have been frustrating, but the good still tops the bad, in my opinion - and the bad isn't all that relevant.

[raelle-writing]

In Defense of Jin

I've been seeing a lot of talk about Jin's character and what he does and doesn't do and what he does and doesn't deserve, and it's irking me. I don't think people are treating him fairly, so I'm going to talk about each of the things I've seen to bash his character one by one.

This is based on what we know as of episode 7.

"Jin is only nice to Non to manipulate him."

A lot of people seem to think that Jin is only nice to Non as a means to an end. In order to get him to write the script, or to appear to be a good person, etc.

However, I think it's pretty clear through the way that Jin interacts with his friend group and with Non individually that he's being genuinely nice, because he's nice to/about Non when there's nothing in it for him to gain. For example:

When Jin credits Non for the success of their script being approved, even though Non isn't there and will never hear about it. He does this because he knows it's right, even though it alienates him from his larger friend group and makes them poke fun at him, just because he doesn't like the way they discredit Non.

When Jin invites Non to the film pitching even though the others tried to leave him out. It would've been easy to pretend to Non that he didn't think about it or had forgotten, but instead he again chooses to include Non even though he knows his friends don't want that, and he does it because he knows Non worked hard on the script and deserved the recognition as well.

When Jin shows up to check on Non after something bad happens, not once but twice. The first time interrupting a su*cide attempt and saving Non's life. Jin doesn't know that, but that's part of the reason why it matters.

"Jin doesn't stand up for Non when his friends bully him."

This one honestly boggles my mind. People seem to think that Jin never stands up for Non when his friends are shitty when in reality Jin stands up Non again

and again

and again

and again

and again.

Maybe Jin doesn't do enough, I've seen people say that. But the reality is that it is really really hard to be the only person in a given group that repeatedly calls something out as wrong when no one else wants to hear it. That's scary and demoralizing and makes you feel ostracized and alone. I've been in that situation myself, and it is so much easier to just give in and stop standing up for what is right instead of putting yourself in that uncomfortable position over and over. Particularly when no one that you're speaking to is receptive of it.

Jin isn't a bystander, he's a pretty active defender. Who is a bystander? Fluke.

Fluke is the biggest bystander there is, he refuses to stand up to/for anything at any point in time. Fluke knows that Tee and Top were the ones who broke the camera and doesn't approve of it, but still doesn't stay anything or stand up for Non. He doesn't back Jin up in that moment, or several other moments when Jin looks to him for support.

Jin stands and he stands alone. But despite that he never wavers, he always calls them out and defends Non at every opportunity, whenever he's around. The only time he stops is when the people around him don't back him up - including Non himself.

"Jin should leave his friend group because of the bullying."

This mentality makes me think that people haven't ever had to cut off a support system before. These people are Jin's closest friends, the people he spends all of his time with. Jin isn't shown to have anyone else.

At the beginning of episode 5, Jin is shown to be surprised by the way the friend group reacts and interacts with Non, asking why they call him names. Which means that for Jin, this bullying stuff is brand new to him. It's not like he joined the group knowing they were bullies and was okay with it.

It's been a few weeks since the start, maybe a month. Asking Jin to cut off all of his closest friends to choose Non isn't reasonable. That's not how people work. You don't give up your entire support system that easily, unless they betray you.

Jin is stuck between his closest friends and his new friend/crush. He chooses Non time and time again, and perhaps if things had gone further or gone differently Jin would've finally chosen to walk away. But it hasn't been that long, and Jin is stuck in a tough spot as the only person who stands up for Non. He's a teenager and is trying to have the best of both worlds. Was he being naive that Non and the others could ever coexist? Yes. But he's young and idealistic and I don't think that's a crime.

"Jin tells Non to stay in the friend group selfishly."

I'm not going to argue that Jin wanted Non to stay in the friend group. I'm not even going to argue that it's not somewhat selfish considering Jin has a crush on Non. But I also feel like people forget that Non walking away from the others means walking away from the movie script he wrote.

Jin calls that out over and over, telling his friends it isn't fair to force Non out, and telling Non it wouldn't be fair to himself to give up on that. And I kind of agree with him. Maybe Non's mental health would've suffered less if he had just left the group and given up on the script, but Jin doesn't know how unstable Non can be. He doesn't know that Non is on medication and is being extorted for money. All Jin sees is a friend being treated unfairly after doing a lot of good work for them. So he pushes Non to stay and not give up on his script.

Does he make the right choice? I don't know. But I honestly don't think there was a right choice when you weight Non walking away from the group and losing his script against the opposite. It's an impossible situation.

"Jin released the video to destroy Non."

I wrote a meta previously that I wasn't sure that the video that got released was Jin's. I'm not going to argue that here. Because it's likely that it was Jin that recorded the video.

However I am very sure that Jin didn't release the video himself. The whole thing was shot too weirdly. If Jin had released the video, they would've just shown it so that we can all start to hate him. They didn't do that. Instead they showed him crying over his laptop before shorting it out.

We're also shown these two shots - the one on the left is Jin's screen, and the right is the person who uploaded the video of Non. Notice a difference?

Yeah Jin didn't release that video. He was watching the video already posted and crying over it. Someone who uses dark mode (Tee is shown to) released that video.

Jin shouldn't have recorded the video. I'm not going to argue about that. It was stupid and it was petty and Jin was angry and upset.

But does that make him the same level as his friends? Especially considering Jin didn't release the video himself, and was reacting in anger... I don't think so. I don't think that makes him the same level as the people who systematically destroyed and exploited and terrorized Non.

Jin has things to feel guilty about, but not as much as the others.

In conclusion: is Jin a perfect angel? NO.

He's not. No character in this show is an angel. All of them make mistakes and hurt each other, and are toxic. But Jin isn't what people think that he is. Jin isn't a mastermind or a terrible person or the one who tore Non to pieces the most.

Jin is a kid. He's a 17 year old dealing with a lot of shitty friends and emotions and who deserves to have some grace extended to him, especially since (unlike most of the other characters in the show) he's TRYING to do what's right.

And you can see that in present, Jin's actions have changed him.

Jin goes from a happy, bubbly, smiley, friendly person to someone who never smiles, who is sarcastic and has a strained relationship with his friends. What does that show? Guilt.

Jin's action have shaped him into the person he is now. He carries the weight of what he did, of the part he played in ruining Non's life. None of the other characters show that. They're all the same in the present as they were in the past. They haven't learned, haven't grown.

Jin is the best person in that group of friends. Why did he stay friends with them? Could be he feels like he has to because of his part in recording the video. Maybe he feels stuck. Maybe he feels like he deserves it. It's hard to say, I'm sure we'll find out in future episodes.

But as of right now? I don't think Jin deserves the hate he's getting as a character. Not for one mistake against the dozens of mistakes and toxic actions the other characters commit every episode.

[maskedemerald]

Weaving Webs CH8

Here is chapter eight of my Invisobang fic! Almost done with the editing so by Friday the whole fic should be up!

The wonderful @pricklenettle did some fantastic art that you'll see embedded through out the first half of the fic so if you haven't seen it go check out their blog now!

You can check out the fic here or on AO3!

If you like this consider dropping us both a follow!

Warnings: Body horror, manipulation, Spectra is her own content warning, Burns, Spider - for like 2 chapters then it goes away.

The Fenton parents were there when the accident happened, they saw Danny die in an act of sabotage. Now they’re just trying to go on with the strange ghost that is all that's left of Danny. While their old college friend is wondering where the subjects of his revenge are.

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Chapter Eight

Jazz paused in front school, she took a deep breath. She needed to steel herself. Since the moment she had gotten out of her car, eyes had been on her. Gossip was flying around her, even when she couldn’t hear them. Almost a month gone, of course it was going to draw attention.

She eventually forced herself to walk in, making a b-line for the school office. She didn’t know what her parents had told the school about what happened but she knew that it was protocol to have a return meeting after such an event. They’d be putting things in place to support her. They’d arrange sessions with the school counselor.

“Jasmine? It's good to have you back. Should we be expecting Daniel soon too?” the secretary said looking up.

Jazz froze, tears pricking at her eyes. They were expecting Danny. They didn’t know. Her parents hadn’t said. What had they even said? Did the school even know there had been an accident. That realistically Jazz needed to talk with the counselor.

“Jasmine? Are you alright?”

She was crying, Jazz blinked away tears. “I… I don’t know.”

“That’s okay dear. He can come back when he’s ready. I was told to give you a light schedule today and to see Mr Lancer for some catch up work. Do you want me to sign you up to speak with the counselor?”

“Please.” Jazz didn’t know how it was going to work when they didn’t know but she still needed it.

“Okay, take it easy today Jasmine. If you need a break then take it.”

“Right.”

Jazz breathed deeply to settle her nerves once outside the office. It was worse heading to class. People asking how she was, how Danny was and she couldn’t answer. Not truthfully. She got through one class before having to slip into the library for most of the rest of the day.

It was there that Mr Lancer found her.

“I won’t bother you for long. I know it's been a hard day. I have a couple of work packs for you and Daniel. Take your time with them though. No need if you’re not up to it.” He said sliding two folders across the table.

“Right… thank you…. I don’t know how much he’ll manage…” She said, awkwardly trying to explain while knowing that she can’t say anything.

What could she even say? What would happen if she said Danny was dead? Would they understand he was a ghost? What would happen to their parents? It wasn’t a good look to have not reported it.

“However much he can do is fine at the moment.” He reassured. “Maybe go home for the rest of the day, I’ll sign you out.”

“Thank you.”

She slammed the front door behind her.

“Hey Jazzy! What’s wrong? Had a bad day?” her Dad asked getting up from the sofa.

“Bad day? Bad day? Everyone kept asking about Danny! They didn’t even know he was… Why didn’t you tell them what happened!” She snapped.

“We couldn’t,” her Mom insisted.

“Why, he’s dead. Just because his ghost is still around doesn’t mean we can pretend nothing happened. They’re expecting him back at school. How’s he supposed to do that? Sooner or later they are going to notice he’s not coming back.”

“We’ll withdraw him. Say he needs special care?” Jack suggested.

“We can’t just isolate him. He needs some sort of normal. Maybe at least have Sam and Tucker…” the lights flickered at the names. She couldn’t see him but it was clear he was listening. The fact that he remembered his friends meant he needed to see them even more.

“We can’t… if people find out we risk losing what’s left of him.” her Mom defended.

“What are they going to do? He can literally go through things.”

“It's not that simple Jazz, there are people out there that will take him if they find out he’s here. People we’ve supplied. We know how they think… how we thought. They won’t understand that this is different because they don’t know Danny.” Her Mom explained, a guilty look on her face.

Jazz dropped into the seat outside the counselor’s office, her head already turning over what she was going to say. What she couldn’t say. One wrong move and she’d loose Danny. Still she needed help. They all did. Psychologically it had to be damaging to not be able to grieve properly. Danny was still there but he was different. He needed it too. She’d have to help him but her books didn’t really go into how to give therapy to your dead brother’s ghost. She couldn’t even ask about it hypothetically!

“Ah and you must be Jasmine!” Dr Spectra greeted her with a chipper tone.

Jazz plastered on her best coping smile, she knew it was shaky and fragile. She was fairly certain Dr Spectra saw right through her.

“Yes, that's me.”

“Come on in and we’ll get started,” she let Jazz into the office and paused by the thermostat dial to turn it down, “I hope you don’t mind the cold too much. I find it helps keep the mind sharp.”

“Oh um that’s fine,” she was used to the cold by now. Danny was cold. Being around Danny was cold. She was sure they were using more energy at home just to counteract the chill he produced.

Dr Spectra sat on the desk and gestured for Jazz to take a seat. She sat and looked up at Dr Spectra, still not sure what she was going to say at all.

“So where shall we start? I hear there was an incident at home?” Dr Spectra said with a pitying look. Or was that just the angle.

Jazz nodded, “there was an… accident, Danny… he got hurt,” hurt was an understatement, accident was also an understatement. She didn’t know if her parents had noticed that she had overheard them talking about that.

“Oh the poor dear, and who do you think is responsible for that?” There was something about the tone that just raised Jazz’s hackles.

Or maybe that was just her making assumptions. Jazz was probably reading in the accusation. Dr Spectra probably thought Jazz blamed herself. That was a normal problem according to her books.

“Responsible? I don’t blame myself if that’s what you’re asking,” she replied, cutting off the avenue of questioning. That wasn’t the help she needed. She wished that she could just ask for the help she needed.

Help coping with loss and the complication of Danny still being there. Even if she could say something without getting her parents into trouble for not reporting what happened to Danny how would anyone believe that he was really still around as a ghost. Well without seeing him for themselves but she didn’t think Danny was ready for strangers yet. And that wasn’t considering her parents' employers who might take him away.

“Accident implies mistake, someone had to make one,” Dr Spectra pushed.

She probably thought Jazz was lying. Being cagey about her feelings of guilt. She was avoiding saying too much so didn’t blame Dr Spectra for having that deduction. She wished she could just be honest.

Once she was home she settled at the kitchen table, it was a fight to get Danny to join her. Jazz flicked through the work packet for Danny, she glanced over to him where his glass face chewed on the old phone that he had been given to help him communicate. The thing had been bricked the moment it was in his hands. It was her old one. It at least still crackled out his speech.

She frowned, she wasn’t sure if he could handle it. His comprehension had not been good. Her parents said that not a lot of knowledge would have been copied over. That it would have been more emotional than actual memories. He could listen and talk but he didn’t really understand the point. What was the point when he wasn’t going to get any older?

She shook her head. She wasn’t helping thinking like that. Just because he was different and wouldn’t get older that didn’t mean he couldn’t benefit from learning. And maybe this would help him reach a sort of normal. Jazz tapped the table again drawing Danny’s attention back to the worksheet.

“How is Danny doing? I hear he hasn’t been getting through those homework packets Mr Lancer put so much effort into,” Dr Spectra asked as she settled into her seat and picked up her notepad.

“He’s managing, focusing on school work is hard for him right now,” Jazz explained.

It was as close to the truth as she could get, though it was frustrating that she wasn’t able to get Danny the help he needed to get through it.

“Oh? Maybe you should be helping him more?”

“I’ve been helping him every night,” Jazz insisted, maybe a little sharply.

She took a deep breath, Dr Spectra was just trying to help. She didn’t know how bad Danny’s situation was. She didn’t know how hard helping him was. How hard it was to keep him focused, especially once it got dark. Jazz many times had to drag him from the roof. He still loved the stars, she was grateful that he hadn’t gone any higher than the roof.

“If you worked harder he would be coping better.”

That hurt. Both of them were trying their best.

“Your parents are scientists, right?” Dr Spectra asked as she flicked through her notes.

“Yes, they are.” Jazz replied wondering where she was going with this.

“Where do they work?” She looked down at her, the question curious.

“Oh in the basement actually. They have a lab down there,” It wasn’t like it was a secret. Pretty much common knowledge. She’d be able to find out with just a question to pretty much any of the teachers.

“Isn’t that a bit reckless of them?” She didn’t look surprised, “not exactly the safest thing. Oh and poor Danny’s accident was down there, right? Honestly, good parents should be more careful.”

Jazz frowned, did she already know. What was she even trying to do? Did she still think Jazz blamed them and was just trying to get an admission before trying to help her through it? Dr Spectra was the expert, no matter how irritating, she had to know what she was doing. Maybe it wasn’t Dr Spectra, maybe it was the fact that Jazz couldn’t tell her the truth of what happened. How could she really know how to help if Jazz kept lying?

“It wasn’t their fault,” Jazz insisted.

Dr Spectra raised an eyebrow, “really? I doubt they had nothing to do with it. All the staff have been talking about it. They say your father isn’t exactly the smartest man.”

Jazz saw red. Her Dad wasn’t stupid. Easily distracted, yes but not stupid. He knew how to manage his distractions. He wasn’t a danger in the lab. She’d seen the safety level in the lab, the only reason the incident had happened was sabotage.

“He’s not stupid! It wasn’t his fault!” She yelled.

“Oh dear, Jasmine breathe. I didn’t say he was stupid, though it can’t be easy with others thinking that. Thinking that it was his fault,” Dr Spectra soothed her hands up.

Had Jazz misunderstood. Had she really only been bringing up a rumor that she thought Jazz might have heard to try and deal with the hurt from it. Surely she could have phrased that better.

“If that bothered you so much I can’t imagine how you’d feel about what they are saying about little Danny,” it was so off hand.

Jazz scowled, anger still simmering, “what are they saying?” she shouldn’t even be humoring this. It was terrible counseling. Dr Spectra shouldn’t be bringing this up unprompted but she had to know what they were saying about Danny. Danny didn’t deserve anyone talking crap about him.

“Oh I shouldn’t…” she didn’t linger long, “however, surely Danny shouldn’t have been playing around down there. Not the smartest thing to be doing but then again teenage boys will be teenage boys.”

“Danny wasn’t playing around! He was helping them, he’s been studying with them for years,” Jazz snapped.

“And they agreed? You didn’t stop them? Surely you would know that’s not safe. I thought you had more sense than that,” Dr Spectra looked at her with a pointed look.

Jazz’s eye twitched, “MY parents knew what they were doing! Danny knew what he was doing! It wasn’t either of their faults!”

“Maybe you distracted them? Him even? You do talk a lot,” Spectra needled.

“I… I wasn’t even down there!” Jazz gave an exasperated shout.

“If you’d been down there maybe he wouldn’t have gotten hurt,” Spectra said not even looking fazed by the shouting.

Jazz stood sharply not even caring that the chair clattered to the floor, “that’s it, we’re done! I’m sick of this. I don’t know what your goal is ‘Dr’ but it sure isn’t helping.”

“Jasmine? What are you talking about? I’m here to help,” Spectra hopped to her feet with a clack of her heels.

“Then you’re not very good at your job,” Jazz bit as she slammed the door behind her.

She stormed through the corridor, each step an echoing stomp through quiet after school halls. That woman was completely unprofessional. A counselor wasn’t meant to behave like that. At first she thought she was just misunderstanding ‘Dr’ Spectra’s methods but now it just seemed like the woman just wanted to kick her down further instead of lifting her up. Was she even a qualified doctor?

By the time she reached her locker to grab her bag tears of anger were streaming hot down her face. A strangely welcome change from the grief based tears that she had been dealing with so much. She was looking forward to the safety of her car to calm down before driving home. She slammed her locker door.

“Hey Jazz, wait up!” she flinched at the sound of Tucker’s voice.

She couldn’t face them, not now. She hated lying to them. They were Danny’s friends, he needed them but she couldn’t. How did someone even tell someone else that their friend was dead but not. She kept going, trying to ignore the hastening footsteps squeaking on the laminate.

“Jazz! Stop avoiding us! You can’t keep doing this!” Sam snapped, grabbing her shoulder and forcing her to turn round.

“Yeah we just want to know how…” Tucker trailed off, “Jazz, you alright? Did something happen? Danny’s okay, right?”

Jazz looked down, she couldn’t look him in the eyes, “I’m… fine…” she winced, that was a Danny line, “he’s fine, just a bad session with Spectra.”

“Ugh, shrinks,” Sam rolled her eyes, “they’re all a bunch of quacks.”

“Maybe we should walk with you to your car to make sure you’re okay,” Tucker started and then quickly finished, “and then we can come over and see Danny.”

Jazz had been about to say yes. She’d wanted the company. She paused, her mouth open. He’d been trying to trick her into agreeing to something she’d been avoiding. She didn’t have any right to be angry at him. He was trying to trick her, badly she might add and meanwhile she was lying to them and avoiding the Danny situation.

“Sorry… you can’t… he’s not up to…” she awkwardly tried to brush them off.

“No! I’m sick of hearing that! That’s what your parents keep saying. I want to hear it from him,”  Sam shouted.

“Sam…” Tucker started.

“No! I don’t care how upset she is Tucker! She’s not the only one dealing with all this! What about Danny? He’s not answering his phone! He could at least text or call!”

“He can’t, his phone broke,” it was the only thing that was easy to say. Easy because she wasn’t exactly lying to them. Broken was an understatement. It had burnt up in the portal along with everything else.

“It's been almost a month Jazz, he can get another phone! Hell I’ll buy him one if he just uses it!” Sam pulled down the weak excuse, “you can’t keep doing this, all of you. I want to see Danny and if you don’t do something I’ll find my own way!”

“I… I’ll see what I can do,” Jazz surrendered, she doubted her parents would agree but Danny needed some sort of normal and she couldn’t let Sam and Tucker face this without some warning.

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