#haven't played p1 so i'm not gonna talk about it

[sigweiner]

⌁₊˚ Shiver ˚₊⌁ {P2}

Pairing: Jinx x Fem!/Gnc!/Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Summary: You seek advice with an acquaintance before 'reconciling' with Jinx on Silco's office desk. Bonus fluff with Isha in the end.

Warnings!: fluff, smut, swearing, angst, t06!c relationship, substance use, mentions of dark ses and physical stuff.

a/n: I'm working on part 3 and 4 bc I had so much fun writing this. Also, I appreciate everyone that interacts with my posts ♡. English is not my first language, sorry for the weird punctuation and sentences. Minors and creeps dni.

{P1} {P3}

You haven't shown up at the hideout in a week. You've been staying at different places every day since that night as to prevent Jinx from tracking you down, even though you didn't believe she would try to since you were a major jerk to her after what was probably her first time with someone ever. You’ve been punishing yourself for that too even though you weren’t entirely sure you were her first. You’ve been drinking yourself to sleep every night since then. The irony in this whole situation is that that party was supposed to cheer you up and bring you out of gloomsville but it only managed to sink you further into a dark hole.

Maybe you should apologize and try to understand what really happened, but you’re pretty sure she’ll try to blow your head off after psychologically torturing you but at the same time you can’t keep up like this, it’s exhausting. So you think of the only person you know with a semblance of knowledge and that you can go fish for advice. Getting up from the dirty floor you slept on, you throw on your hooded cloak to go meet her and start to move through the shadows of the dirty zaunite streets without being noticed by anybody until you reach an alley where three people are sitting around a wooden crate, drinking, smoking and playing cards.

Sevika has a cigarette in her mouth and grins wickedly at the hand she’s been dealt. You try to figure out a way to alert her of your presence but in no time she’s throwing cards on the table and collecting her winnings for the night. She doesn't linger so you follow her around the maze of streets and alleyways. She keeps looking back, checking if anybody is following her, her instincts probably warning her that someone actually is. She stops to light another cigar and rests her back on a nearby wall so you take the opportunity to come out of the shadows, appearing in front of her.

“Damn, you look like death itself.” She says with a raised eyebrow. “Came to finish the job after all?” But there’s no real concern to her voice.

“Can we um… talk?” You ask, uncertain about how you’re going to bring this about with Sevika, of all people.

“Talk? You sure you’re not confusing me with someone else?” She lets out a dark chuckle and you roll your eyes at her reaction, she wasn’t about to make this easy for you.

“Yeah… have you uh… seen Jinx lately?” You hate how insecure you sound, being this vulnerable is making you want to give up and bolt.

“Jinx huh? Aren’t you two practically glued to each other?” She asks with an amused smirk on her face.

“We had a fight. No, actually I fucked up…” You say looking down at the floor. Sevika lets out a laugh.

“Well that’s not unheard of coming from you.” She teases. You sigh heavily and shake your head but you kind of deserve it. “She’s been looking for you, y’know?” Sevika says seriously now. You look up at her surprised to hear this piece of information.

“Really? Is she still mad? Do you think I should go back to the hideout?” You blurt out, hope growing in your chest.

“Slow down kid. Listen, I'm not gonna tell you what to do. Especially because I don't give a damn about your little lovers quarrel.” She starts explaining her line of thought before taking a break to puff out her cigar. “What I'm going to tell you is this: that crazy girl is obsessed with you and that kid. She's been nagging me about helping her find you this entire week. Which I don't appreciate one bit. So for the sake of my sanity and both of your safety, you should go and take care of this.” She finishes with an annoyed look but you appreciate her words greatly.

“We're not lov-” You star to retort but she gives you a death glare which makes you halt. “Okay fine, I’ll take care of it.” You tell her earnestly.

“Good.” She pushes herself off of the wall and throws the remains of her cigar on the floor. “Now fuck off, Shiv.” That's the first time you ever hear her call you by your alias which brings you a sense of respect. You chuckle, starting to disappear in the shadows.

“Thanks, Sevika.” Your disembodied voice reverberates through the empty alley.

“Tsk, creepy kid.” Is the last thing you hear her say from a distance before you turn around the next corner.

The familiar feeling of fear burns inside your chest when you reach Jinx’s hideout but you find it eerily quiet and still. There's no sign of the blue haired girl but you spot Isha snoozing peacefully on the orange couch. You approach her silently to move some hair off her face and kiss her forehead gently. She stirs a bit but doesn't wake up and you take a moment to just admire her easy slumber.

You're glad at least little Isha is safe and unbothered by this whole ordeal between you and Jinx, although you did cause more instability by leaving unexpectedly. She is the better part between the three of you and not being around her just made everything worse. You wonder if she even missed you because you’ve definitely missed hanging out with her. Before you leave, you cover her little figure with a blanket so she doesn't get cold.

You rack your brain for places where Jinx might be. You check the nearby bathroom and the next door building's roof where you very probably took her virtue, but there was no sign of her. You try not to think of that night, her soft lips, the way she felt around your fingers or your stupid harsh words, but it was all still very vivid in your head.

You wish you could go back in time and do everything differently but there's no point in dwelling on that, you need to find her. So the next place you can think of is Silco’s old office, Jinx had dragged you there before to retrieve something from her secret stash when you were still her prisoner, so you try to remember how to get there.

You move as fast as you can through the shadows but nights at Zaun were very much busy and filled with people, which makes you take longer than necessary just to avoid anyone. You finally manage to reach the abandoned office but you stop outside the door when you hear her speaking softly, then angrily, seemingly trying to process a lot of different emotions.

You take a deep breath before quietly stepping in, careful not to make any noise and alert her to your presence, so you wait for the right opportunity. From where you're standing you can see pow-pow holstered on her hip and that she's wearing different clothes. Striped purple pants and a black crop top, which are certainly new. You wonder what happened to her old clothes.

When you step into the light after she finally gets quiet, she sees your reflection on the big round window in front of her. A bullet misses you by inches, leaving a cut on your cheek that draws some blood. You don't react, shit if she wants to shoot you right through your chest you would let her, that's how much you believe you need punishment for what you did. Jinx lets out an angry grunt and uses her superspeed to come halfway close to you when she suddenly stops to scream at the voices to shut up.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” She screams at you now. “You're MINE Shiv! Don't you fucking get it?! Why did you leave me?!” Her voice cracks in the end and she starts crying, body shaking as she starts to sob uncontrollably. You chance a step towards her but she shoots by your feet making you freeze again.

“I-I know, I fucked up big time, Jinx.” You tell her desperately, tears also running down your face. “Please forgive me. I'll do anything you want. I'll never run again, fuck you can lock me up in a cage again if you want, but please… I'm so sorry.” You beg, reaching a hand forward from where you're standing several feet away from her. She grabs the sides of her head and shakes it, trying to shut down the voices.

“You're sorry? How fucking dare you toy with my feelings like that?! I gave myself to you completely and you treat me like I'm some... animal you can chase away when you're done playing with it… you made me feel so good… called me princess and then treated me like I'm some just street trash…” She rants between sobs and your heart shatters in a million pieces.

“I know, I-I was a total asshole loser. I didn't know you had these feelings… I didn't know you were a… that that might have been your first… everything really. I mean, was it?” You need to know, damn if it’s true you would’ve done everything differently. She huffs angrily and turns away from you, hugging her middle as if trying to close herself from you.

“Does it matter now? You can’t change what happened.” She says with a shaky voice and zaps back to sit on the wooden desk, propping a foot on the swivel chair that once belonged to her father. Her shoulders are still shaking from crying but at least she’s not screaming anymore.

“I guess it doesn’t. But I wish I could’ve done things differently. If I had known about your feelings… I guess I shouldn’t have been so stubborn and ignored my own.” You slowly start to move closer to her when she puts her gun aside.

“Try asking next time.” She says, seeming exhausted. You manage to round the desk and stand in front of her. She glances at you, makeup all smeared underneath her eyes, and looks away. You want to reach out so badly and hold her in your arms, but you don’t want to trigger her any further.

“Okay, then. Do you… like me, Jinx? As more than friends or whatever we have going on, I mean.” You question her honestly. Your face burns furiously though, being this forward feels foreign to you.

“Yes dummy, I’ve been in love with you for a while now.” She finally looks at you and chuckles at your reaction. You’re completely dumbfounded, the look of shock on your face practically comical. What does she mean she’s in love with you? Your brain is trying hard to add two plus two but it takes you a minute.

“You - you’re in love with me?” You ask incredulously. Jinx nods timidly, her cheeks starting to blush a deep pink. “I uh… wow. I really wasn’t expecting that but... if I’m being honest with myself… I think I’ve been in love with you for a while too.” You manage to say before bursting into tears. Jinx reaches out an arm to you and you take her hand. She pulls you towards her, snuggling you between her legs and you practically melt into her, burying your face on her neck as she embraces you.

“Oh my silly Trinket.” She purrs against your hair. She moves a hand to cradle the back of your head while the other rubs circles on your back. You’re both still crying, the weight of all that was said and done falling upon you.

“I should- should be the one comforting you.” You say between sobs. “I’m so sorry, Jinx. I’ll never hurt you ever again.” You promise her, lifting up your head to look her in the eyes. She gives you a teary smile and caresses your cheek, making you lean into her touch.

“You better not.” She says, chuckling. “I don’t think I can survive another one of these.” She gestures between you two. You laugh timidly, wiping under your nose when she leans in to kiss your cheek, the one cut by her bullet. Your eyes flutter from feeling the softness of her lips on your skin and you instinctively rest your hands on her waist.

Jinx wipes your tears and blood gently and pulls you in for a tight hug, snaking her legs around your waist and laying her head on your chest, close to your fluttering heart. You cup the back of her neck to caress it lightly, goosebumps rising to the brush of your fingers. She lets out a heavy sigh and tightens her grip on you. You swear you could stay like this forever, having the heat of her body warm up your soul. And to think you almost gave this up because you couldn't let yourself be vulnerable.

“My chaos princess, I'm so lucky to be yours.” You say against the top of her head. She looks up at you with doey eyes before leaning in to kiss your lips. You sigh into the kiss and cup her face with shaky hands. Gods, how you missed the taste of her so you graze your tongue on her bottom lip seeking entrance and she lets you deepen the kiss.

Your tongues dance languidly against one another very unlike the first time you two kissed, no desperation or urgent desire motivating your actions, just simply wanting to memorize every stroke and every breath and every shiver elicited. You can't help but let out a moan when her hands run up your back, breaking the kiss. She takes the opportunity to kiss a path down your neck, dragging her teeth on the tender skin of your pulse point. You let out a quiet ‘fuck’ when she starts suckling a hickey on the curve between your neck and shoulder. Although you definitely don't mind being marked by her, you pull gently on one of her braids making her move away from your neck so you can kiss her senseless.

Jinx is utterly pliant to your desires and lets you guide her wherever you want, you don't quite remember her ever being this willing to let go of any control except for that fateful night you had her writhing underneath you. In no time your hands start to wander, desperate for a reminder of what her thighs feel like. They're still firm like you remember but only now there was too much clothing covering them. She tries to pull you closer, tightening the grip of her legs around your hips. You smile against her lips before grinding against her crotch, making her let out a delicious moan.

“Getting a little excited aren't we?” You say close to her ear. She whines, seemingly frustrated that you're talking and not kissing her.

“You haven't earned teasing privileges yet, Trinket.” She says with a cute pout on her face. “Now, why don't you make it up to me by making me feel real good, huh?” She says planting that damn attractive smirk on her face.

“Anything for you princess.” You mirror her expression before connecting your lips in a soaring kiss. She hums in approval then lets you explore her mouth with your soft tongue. You take this opportunity to run your hands up her stomach and towards her chest.

“I like these new clothes by the way.” You digress, running your index fingers through her side boobs. “Though I prefer you in way less clothing.” You lick her lips playfully and she chases after your mouth.

“Yeah, I've noticed.” She loops a finger through the hoop on your choker to pull you close to her mouth. “I’ve caught up staring before. Several times.” She whispers and you can't help but feel a little embarrassed by that.

“Fuck, was I that obvious?” You feel your cheeks burn in embarrassment. The blue haired girl kisses your face sweetly.

“Yeah, but lucky for you I was really into it.” She giggles before closing the gap between you. You grind against her again before pulling up her top, exposing her chest to your hungry fingers. She whimpers when you pinch at her pierced nipple and tries to seek more friction on her core with her lower body, making your own arousal pool inside your pants.

You part from her mouth to whisper a suggestion in her ear. “I want to try something, will you let me?” She nods her head positively so you kiss the skin behind her year before looking her in the eyes. “I want to taste you, princess.” You say watching her reaction. Her eyes grow wide and her face turns red but she gives you a quiet okay.

“We don't have to if you don't want to.” You reassure her but she shakes her head furiously before grabbing onto your chest harness with shaky hands.

“No, please I- I want to.” She says timidly but plants a soft kiss on your lips. You hold her face with one hand.

“Okay, but just so you know, we can stop anytime you want, yeah?” You want to make sure she feels comfortable every step of the way. She nods again and it's your turn to kiss her tenderly.

You start to venerate her body by kissing down her neck, leaving a couple of bruises on her throat before showering her chest with attention. You loved on her small perky breasts, licking and biting her hardened nipples until she was a panting mess. Then you move to her stomach and her waist covered with the cloud tattoo you loved so much, not missing the opportunity to leave a few markings next to the line of her pants. You chance a glance up at her and you're met with a sight you wish you never forget. She has a frown between her eyebrows, her cheeks are flushed red and her lips are swollen from your kisses.

You untangle her legs from around you then lower yourself on your knees before hooking your fingers on the hem of her pants. “You okay over there?” You ask with an innocent smile. She lets out a frustrated whine.

“Fuck Y/N, please just take them off already.” She says impatiently. You chuckle but obey anyway, pulling down the offending clothes down her legs, boots going with it in the process.

You kiss her left feet and up her leg before reaching the inside of her thighs. Jinx is already trembling when you spread her legs further, entirely exposing her to you. Your mouth waters at what you find, her wetness already running down her inner thigh, engorged clit pulsating with want and outer lips are puffy from all the blood concentrated on her core. You snake your arms around her thighs and you pull her closer to the edge of the desk. She has a death grip on it, knuckles turning pale already.

“Can you hold my hair up for me, princess?” You ask politely, laying a kiss on her pubic mound. She complies and you feel her grip tighten when you lick a firm path through her pussy.

“Hoooly fuck.” She says, rolling her eyes inside her skull and dropping her head back. You smile at her reaction and continue slowly lapping at her with a firm tongue.

“You're so hot.” You tell her when you take a break to part her folds with two fingers.

“You should see yourself.” She replies, running her thumb through your jaw till it reaches your lips.

You open your mouth to expose your tongue to her, making her slide her finger on it. You smirk before wrapping your lips around it and start sucking and moving your head back and forth to cover the whole length of it with your saliva. She just looks at you, hypnotised. You take her hand, releasing her thumb with a pop, then guide it towards her own chest, smearing your saliva on her pierced nipple. “Shit, I'm gonna lose the rest of my sanity if you keep up like this.” She tells you in awe, pupils completely blown with desire.

“I definitely don't mind.” You chuckle before returning your attention to her dripping center. You massage her clit between your digits before pulling up its hood and wrapping your lips around it to give it gentle sucks. Above you, Jinx lets out an obscene moan that reverberates through your own body, making you moan against her as well.

“Oh fuck, I'm gonna - fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't hold-” She mumbles incoherently, unintentionally pulling on your hair so tight you let out a whimper against her. You let go of her protruding bud before she reaches her peak, making her protest with an impatient whine and she tries to force you back where she needs you by pushing your head forward but you diverge your face towards her inner thigh, biting down at it. She lets out a cry that sounds more like a moan so you soothe the bruise with your tongue.

“Be patient, princess.” You tell her before flicking your tongue lightly on her clit. She squirms and tries to close her legs involuntarily.

“Hah that tickles.” The feather-like sensation making her finicky.

“Humm. Do you prefer it more like this?” You apply more pressure when you lick her this time and you see her eyes flutter at the sensation.

“Yeeah, that's better. Just like that.” She drops her head back once more, mouth agape but still managing to hold your hair away from your face with one hand.

She's a true vision from where you are kneeling between her legs and you realise how close you already feel to your own orgasm just by pleasuring her. So when you tease two fingers on her entrance you decide to slide your free hand inside your pants to take care of yourself. Jinx looks back at you starved when your digits reach the back of her wall and you notice she's fighting hard not to close her eyes so she can watch you satisfy yourself while you fuck her. You finally give her throbbing bud the attention it deserves by sucking hard on it.

It only takes a few pumps of your fingers inside her until she's reaching her orgasm, shaking so hard around your head you need to reach over to steady her. You help her ride her high but you've got no intention to slow down and stop. On the contrary, you fuck her harder and graze your teeth on her clit a few times, teasing it. She gasps and looks at you surprised but doesn't try to stop you. You catch her clit between your lips again when you return your hand to your center.

You want to make you both come together and it so happens when Jinx lets out a long moan and squirts all over your mouth and down your throat. Your eyes roll backwards at your own pleasure coating your hand with your ecstasy. You two moan in unison as you ride your fervor for a little longer before you release her clit and slowly remove your fingers from inside her. She collapses back on the desk, chest heaving, and you also try to steady your breathing.

“You okay over there, Jinxie?” You ask after a minute, worried you might have broken her.

“Better than okay.” She slurs her words, sounding drunk. You chuckle and try to get up but it seems your legs have turned to mush.

“Wanna give me a hand then?” You ask playfully. She sits up and looks down at you with amusement but as she takes in the state you're in, her eyes darken.

“Didn't expect you to be worse off than me.” She says half jokingly and offers you her hand. You reach to take it but before you can she grabs your wrist and starts cleaning your cum off of it. “Hmmm, as sweet as I dreamed you would be.” She says after finishing her handiwork. You feel like a deer caught in headlights.

She manages to lift you up to your feet and pulls you in for a passionate kiss, licking up all of her fluids from your face passionately. Her wandering hands find the swell of your ass and squeezes making you moan her name. You knew where this was going but you didn't know if you were ready yet for it to happen. Jinx starts kissing your jaw and down your throat when you hear someone entering the room suddenly.

“What the hell is going on here?” Sevika says in horror.

After having survived Sevika’s wrath in what you now know is her new office, you and Jinx return to the hideout separately so as not to attract attention to yourselves. When morning comes and Isha wakes up to the sight of you sleeping on a thin mattress next to the couch and Jinx hunched over her workstation, tinkering away at some random project, she lets out a confused sound. The kid sits up and removes the blanket from herself, wiping the sleep off of her eyes before crossing her arms on her chest with an angry look on her face.

As if sensing she is awake, you stir into consciousness and open one eye to chance a peek in her direction but your vision is still blurry from sleep so you lazily throw an arm in Isha’s direction only to feel your hand being swatted away. Oh boy, here we go again. You sigh deeply before sitting up as well and resting your forearm on the couch. Isha gestures to you that she's angry you left and that Jinx was really sad, completely out of control and even burned up her clothes while laughing maniacally at the flames.

“Burned her clothes?” You whisper back. The little kid nods positively and like a tough loving parent, she gestures and demands to know what happened. “I-I know, I screwed up big time. And um… I didn't think I deserved forgiveness, so I left.” You try to explain without getting into what actually happened.

She huffs and looks about as disappointed as you feel for having left her. “I'm sorry Isha. I shouldn't have left you and I couldn't stand being away from both of you so I came back. I'm not sure if Jinx has forgiven me entirely but if you can, that would mean the world to me.” A tear rolls down her cheek so you reach over to wipe it away and this time she doesn't reject you.

On the contrary, Isha lunges forward and throws her little arms around your neck, burying her face in your hair. You cradle her head and make soothing patterns on her back as she cries quietly, wishing you could take all her sadness away. “It's okay baby. I’m never leaving you again. I promise.” You reassure her.

There's suddenly a light weight hugging you both as Jinx decides to join in your little moment of reconciliation, probably having overheard what you said. “Yeah, I won't let it happen.” she says resolutely. You smile because even though the implications behind her words are very dark, your heart can't help but flutter at her pledge.

“I've forgiven you, y’know?” She whispers now into your ear. You turn to look at her with tears in your eyes as she backs away slightly. You want to kiss her so badly but at the same time you don't want Isha to feel weird about whatever you've got going on with Jinx.

However she is the one to take the first step and lean in to kiss your cheek. You don't understand how a simple act of affection can make your heart beat so fast and your face burn so hot when not long ago you were doing much more lewd things to her that elicited this same reaction. She smirks at your flustered expression but looks away when she realises Isha watched the whole scene unfold. The little girl looks between you two and mimics Jinx by planting a quick kiss on your other cheek.

“Hey! I'm not willing to share, kid.” Jinx protests but Isha only giggles and sneakily gives the blue haired girl's face a smooch before snaking her arms around both your necks to pull you into a group hug with a huge smile on her face.

Dividers by @bernardsbendystraws and @cafekitsune.

[no0t2]

@checkadii

I literally just woke up so this is the worst time to post this but ngl I have this problem where I wanna talk about it but I blank so fucking hard and fall flat on my face that I end up not talking about it anyway out of sheer embarrassment.

I'm not good at structuring my thoughts properly either because of ADHD, but here goes I guess.

I usually gotta segway into the topic if it's relevant to the conversation usually via,, friend convo, I don't know how people do deepdives of characters and whatnot I can't do that. I'm not sure why that is, this always has been a thing for me where I've got some level of understanding and my own HCs and such but they're not written or anything, so I can't express them.

To me Postal is just a silly series (minus P1 and Redux), not to be taken too seriously. So I don't really think about the "lore" that it has so much. I can ramble about Postal: Brain Damaged tho, that's probably my favourite cos of gameplay... And the designs as well as the soundtrack. It's just such a good game, I never thought shooters would ever be a genre I'd like to play, as I was so against playing them (thanks Half-Life for opening up my eyes). I can say definitely with confidence that retro styled FPS are especially something I find fun? Not on intense difficulty or anything either, I usually can't go above normal.

I've listened to "Straight Outta Suburbia" for like over an hour straight, I'm pretty sure even during while I was drawing one of my BD sketches lol

Back to Postal in general, I frankly haven't done enough "research" on it where I can properly speak about it aside from the games I've played (P1, P2, Paradise Lost and P:BD) And they're all games that are super different from each other (aside from P2 and PL, but even then). I'd also say I'm still pretty new to the series, speaking as I haven't played all of the games yet. Frankly, I was planning to just stick to P2 and that's it, glad I didn't.

Postal 1 I remember making me feel all sorts of weird things when I both played it and after I finished it. The load up intro scared the shit out of me the first time I opened the game, to where I had to pause for a minute. And it kept spooking me each time I did open it. I think that was kinda the point of the game as it's pretty dark compared to it's counterparts. I won't get into the lore of the 1st Dude cos I've seen people pluck at each other's feathers over the interpretation of him. But essentially, guy looses his shit during an episode, starts killing everyone. (Or just, "hostiles", depends how you play the game.)

P2 is so wildly different (aside from the fact that you can shoot people) that when I first opened it I was so confused how I was met with THAT Dude. I was surprised to hear him talk more beyond than just "BLEED" or "Only my weapon understands me". At the time I was also wrangling personal fears and feelings(which I don't know if I wanna get into, let alone if people would even wanna hear it lol) over playing the Postal series, so my initial expectation towards the game was:

"Okay, I know this is going to have some offensive shit in it, there's parts that won't be fun probably." And hoped for the worst, surprisingly a lot of the stuff in it I didn't find that bad, most of it is definitely fucked up, but nothing I couldn't handle, surprisingly. I played neutral-y, so I only attacked whoever attacked me, but I'd bail if I had the chance.

Paradise Lost plays similarly to Postal 2 (as it's literally the same branch of game just in the form of DLC). But I've found myself enjoying it way more than Postal 2, mostly cuz I found some of the jokes in it actually funny.

P3 I haven't played because I got rick rolled by RWS on the website so I'm not gonna play it out of spite </33 (But I've seen gameplay)

Postal: Brain Damaged is like, even more different than the previous entries as it's a retro styled shooter. But it has the charm of a Postal game and MAN is it good, I think the fact that it was released more recently is what made me enjoy its humor more. And it just!! Is so fun in general like wow, I'm still processing playing the game and I've already been thinking of replaying it because of how much I've enjoyed it. Definitely recommend trying it out.

AND WOWWW this has gotten long oops. Sorry.

I wanna note tho that, although there are aspects of Postal I enjoy, there's a lot of them that I don't, namely the offensive bits, some of them are genuinely fucked up where I can't go past them even in a comedic sense. Which I think is OK. I still enjoy other parts of it :^]

[hobisexually]

hi amber! it's me again. sorry in advance, this is probably gonna get long.. first of all, no! i haven't watched the behinds yet. i tend to put off watching something when i dont want it to end and then i end up forgetting about it(it's a problem ik) so thank you for reminding me i have that to watch still. yay a little bit more jikook for us. i'm glad the healing process is going as well as it can go, i haven't actually watched that live yet, maybe i should. p1

i'm glad he gave you comfort in that moment, i think he tends to have that effect (at least he does for me too) <3 as for yoongi, yes i feel the same. i try not think about his whole situation rn bc it makes me sad but i hope he is feeling the comfort and love we are sending him. p2 now into the ask game, i knew i was picking the right questions, specially the hair style and look ones lol. you don't how much i agree with you on the hairstyle picks, specially platinium blonde hobi and bob jungkook (that was lifechanging for me honestly) and i don't want to talk about dday long haired yoongi.. but hard same to all your picks! and you saying that about yoongi (the friend question) it's actually so funny to me, bc i feel the exact opposite. p3 i think yoongi is the one bts member i'm actually a 100 percent attracted to/ horny about lmao. like i think all of them are attractive and my number one bias is jimin and i genuinely think he is one the most beutiful person alive (? and jk, specially post 2021 jk is really hot, but yoongi is the one that does it for me the most and i think a big part of that is bc of his personality. p4 so even though i would love to be his friend bc i think we would get each other too, if i knew him in real life there's a 100 percent change that i would develop a crush on him lmao. sorry you didn't ask for all of that haha. anyways, like i said this got long, i hope i didn't bore you with the rambling. as for the last question i meant to say 53. the unpopular opinión one, i wanted you to get controversial (? p5

(sorry this is late, but well, election mess, etc, you know how it goes)

under a read more because i got carried away. whoops

alright, well, then i'm very happy to be reminding you and you have some great content ahead of you, or so I hear 😌

i get you, though, about it being so sad you don't want to think about it -- same. weirdly, and bear with me, it comforted me greatly to see only seokjin pick hobi up from discharge, because clearly everyone was off (like, namjoon was in town and spotted at galleries, jungkook was out and about with mingyu and dk for dinner that week, I'm sure vmin were off gallivanting) and they all just chose not to go, to support yoongi in private and welcome hobi home that way. with it only being jin there was no more unnecessary eyes on them than there should be. i keep thinking that surely all seven had met up that evening, or that weekend, and they just kept things private between the seven of them. like, they got each other, you know? if anything, we know that.

as for yoongi being the only one to drive you Crazy Like That, that's interesting, but also, I get you, that's hobi for me jkfdsjks at least to THAT extent. (jungkook comes Very, Very close, but yk. shrug). the wand does choose the wizard, huh. and his personality being the deciding factor makes so much sense, he really just burrows himself in there and suddenly you have an eternal soft spot for him! makes total sense that irl you'd immediately develop a crush on him, I see how that comes into play here.

also platinum hobi was A CULTURAL RESET I am so happy you get to appreciate him with me <3 and bob jungkook just... i never got over it. like, that man is our girlfriend, your honour. holy shit.

okay, as for an unpopular kpop opinion... i have so many fjkdsdsjfdsk i don't understand So Many Things but the one thing I will never, truly ever get is fandoms competing with each other over enlistment. like, one second we'll all be crying that it's so unfair bangtan has to go, and the next Kai from EXO is crying in a live because he has to enlist and it suddenly becomes a gotcha moment everyone uses against him. like, come on, folks. be against enlistment or don't be against it, do whatever the fuck you want, but if you're angry about the unfairness of it all you don't suddenly get to be inhumane just because that man is in a band that's a rival of your faves. he was clearly upset, leave him alone, it's not your place.

much to say about the fandom wars between exols and army in general, don't even get me started, but that entire time last year pissed me off SO much. like, trust me, when I say that I'm anti-military I mean that in the broad sense of the word. i hate it ideologically, I hate it practically, and I hate it for your faves as much as I hate it for mine. in fact, I hate it for every single Korean man who is forced to leave almost two years of his life behind and truly, I wish it was different. i have a personal connection to my own faves that makes me miss them extra hard, sure, but come on.

in general, the whole "stay away if you're a multi" mindset? i will never get it. what does it matter if you like more than one band? are we enslaved to the one band that got us here first? listen to whatever you like, dude! also I'm not here to mass stream and get them in the charts or sponsor h*be, I'm here to appreciate their artistry and let it resonate with me through whatever emotion comes up (and sure, geek out over their bond, feel a lot of joy when I see them and get a little horny, who cares). when did we lose sight of what music is supposed to be?

i feel very old man yelling at cloud right now but you asked!

[meyerlansky]

You’ve talked before abt Daniil- what about the other two patho protags?

oh man do not let how much i talk about daniil fool you, i fucking love artemy. the Moment for me with him was when the thought for ascending the polyhedron pops up, and the hover text is "the world is very beautiful indeed." there are plenty of moments that made me love him before that, ofc, not least being the fact that he's a snarky bastard if you want him to be, but that moment sort of encapsulates what i find so compelling about him—the way he's defined by all these dualities, and tries so hard to reconcile them all. the kin vs the town, love vs anger, violence vs healing, the man-made vs the natural, free will vs fate, he straddles so many lines [ha] and for the most part he actually does solid job managing the tightrope walk? ascending this thing that is causing his town and his people so much pain and grief and suffering, he could be furious about its existence, he could be analyzing it for weaknesses, but his actual takeaway is "the world is beautiful, and that includes this." he doesn't outright dismiss the "utopian" vision of ascension, he doesn't insist there's one right way of doing things, he sees things worth saving from all the perspectives the game presents, and it's only through dire circumstances that he's forced to choose—little bit of crit here for the game itself, i find the dichotomization of the endings to be a little... hm, unfair? dissynchronous? with the rest of artemy's storyline, in that up until day 11 you CAN play him as straddling all of these lines and successfully holding all these dualities within himself, but there's no way to not choose one or the other in the end. it lacks the synthesis that makes his character so compelling for me, but that's critique of the endings, not the character. artemy himself embodying and engaging with all of these dualities is one of my favorite things about his character. also as briefly mentioned he's so fucking funny and so full of snark which is the best trait for any character ever.

clara is uhhhhhhhh extremely unsettling to me as someone with an uncomfortably keen awareness of xtian modes of thinking acting as repressive and authoritarian wrapped up very neatly in a form that's hard to hold responsible for the damage it causes, and i realize this doesn't sound complimentary but i do applaud ipl for managing to characterize her in EXACTLY the most uncomfortable form for me personally

send me a reverse unpopular opinion topic here :D

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette chp 4, p1: visiting connie’s family

an: hey y’all! this coming to a close end 💀 i mentioned this in a different post but i will not be active for a while. i’m traveling! i know y’all are rolling your eyes and groaning rn because that means a bachelorette chapter won’t be dropping for a while. i’m getting started on your next date and i’m hoping to get it done by tomorrow. it should be the shortest date! i’ll be working on your final date during on my trip and it should be done by the time i comeback! but i definitely will have the boys and the gang answer your questions and read your thoughts! link at the end of the chapter!

tags: black, fem reader

tag list: @taybird

Things were now different since proposals were nearing. From now on, there were no more breakfasts with Mikasa and Sasha.(why did i lie?)They were sent away so that they would intervene with your 'boyfriends'. And even if they were around, you wouldn't have been able to catch them.

Today you were woken up early because you would be traveling to Regako to meet Connie's family. You were already familiar with Connie's family, so he already had an upper hand.

Connie was very excited to get out of the house once more and to see his family. He was doing this with you, so it made things better.

"Martin and Sunny are gonna have so many questions, you know?"

He had been driving for an hour and there were a few minutes to go. In the past hour, you and Connie joked about a few things and then you napped.

"Yeah," you reply.

"My mom never lets them watch dating shows but for this time only, they're allowed to. So, they're curious. They'll probably ask how we're allowed to be in love...cause we're friends. And they'll be curious about being on camera as well.

You purse your lips. "Connie, you're one of my three boyfriends. Yeah, you're my friend but you're my partner too. In a week, if you end up staying, you'll be proposing to me, and if I say yes, you'll be my husband. You need to let go of this 'friend' thing and actually be my boyfriend."

Connie is silent for a moment. He opens his mouth again but his voice is quiet. "It's kind of hard to do that when there are two others. This whole thing has been easy for Jean and Bertholdt. They're die-hard romantics. I'm...I was your friend. I only know how to be friendly with you."

"So, are you saying you aren't into me romantically or what? We don't have to do this. We can drop you off at home and I'll go back to the mansion."

"That's not what I'm trying to say. y/n...I do want a future with you, I just don't have that same advantage as Jean and Bertholdt. And I mean...wouldn't you want your spouse to be your best friend and not a stranger?"

He was right. Bertholdt and Jean could do everything in their power to make you theirs but you don't know them.

"Connie, if I wanted, I'd stop everything and marry you right now."

Connie looks over at you and smiles. "I was hoping you could say that."

"I love you."

Connie's face drops. "Huh?" He slightly swerves on the road. You grab onto the upper car handle and giggle. "I love you, Connie."

This was the first contestant that you admitted you loved.

"Love you, too," Connie replies. You weren't sure if he meant it because he didn't include an 'I' but the rest of the time you spent with him would determine if he truly loved you.

It was still daytime when Connie finally reached his house. The camera team was right behind.

"You know...I don't feel so comfortable with Martin and Sunny being on camera. I mean, what if I don't win? It'll be so embarrassing for them," Connie said.

"They're kids. I think they're facing will be blocked out. Don't worry," you reassure him. You get out of the passenger seat, so you could get the suitcase in the back. Connie popped out of nowhere. Your hand was reaching for the trunk and he grabbed it. "Don't worry about it. I'll get it, ok? Let's just go say hi to my family and get things over with."

Connie didn't let go of your hand and lead you to the front door. The camera team followed behind and other crew members continued to prepare themselves.

Connie rang the doorbell and as soon as that happened, you could hear fast footsteps approaching the door. You could only assume that it was one of the kids. The door swung open and your prediction was right. The person in front of you was Sunny, who was now eight. She was the darkest of her siblings and her hair was in locs. But most importantly, she was adorable and had the biggest smile on her face.

Martin came up behind her. He was thirteen, brown-skinned, and was growing his curly hair out. "Hi, y/n," he greets you. "Damn, so no 'hi, Connie. We miss you big bro'?" Connie cuts in. Martin rolls his eyes and Sunny greets her older brother and jumps into his arms. "You're getting heavy! At some point, I won't be able to carry you anymore!"

The image of Connie and his sister turned into Connie and your possible child. You could see him not struggling to hold your infant and throwing them midair. You'd like to think that baby would be happy and wouldn't complain for most of their life. You imagined the baby having your looks and Connie's personality.

Your daydreaming was interrupted when Martin tugged on your hand. "My parents in the kitchen. Come say hi."

Of course. One thing about the Springers is that they love to eat and feed other people. During the holidays, Connie's mom would make food and give meals out to the less fortunate and Connie's dad was a monster on the grill. Before the show, you would come over and you would leave with like a month's worth of food. The Springers were also party people. They'll celebrate anything. These were the people who would probably play a part in wedding planning but let's not get ahead of yourselves.

(EXTENDED PART)

The Springers had sat you down in their dining room and the camera team wasn't too far behind. Mrs. Springer sat in front of you and was ready to start asking questions.

"How have you been? I've been keeping up with the show but...how've you been?" she starts. "I'm doing just great Mrs. Springer. Kicking out three guys does make me feel lighter," you joke.

"Oh good! I did like that Eren boy though. He's so handsome."

Mr. Springer nudged his wife and she rolled her eyes. "Should we start planning for your wedding?" he asks.

"Well, I don't have a fiancé yet. But do start expecting an invitation. Even if I don't end up marrying Connie, I do want you all there. You all mean a lot to me."

The older Springers let out an 'aw’.

"Can I be a flower girl?" Sunny asked. "I'll have to ask Levi but I would love for you to be my flower girl," you reply. The thought of that possibly evil little man did bring a nasty feeling in your mouth.

"So, how long do you plan on staying?" Mrs. Spinger asks. You and Connie looked at each other. Connie decides to answer this question. "Just for tonight. She has to meet another family member tomorrow."

The faces of the Springer family drop. "Oh...you don't think this is going too fast?"

"It's...it's going fast. For me, this show just started. I'll be married in two weeks if the engagement can last that long."

You haven't even picked out a dress or taken a look at one. You wanted to start planning badly but you needed to figure who you want to be with.

The Springers decided to move on from the wedding topic and started to talk about their kids' accomplishments.

You spaced out as they spoke. This could be you one day, with a big family, or even just Connie. You would come home from work and discuss your day with him, you would cook with him and just be happy with him.

link!

now voting for your boy is required. i know the questions for the boys is required but if you’ve asked a question, feel free to ask another OR let me know that you have!