#haven't had my coffee yet after a long night. sorry for the mess and typos and redundancy. It's my b-day I'm allowed to be senile lmaooo

[wild-wombytch]

I'd add to this very eloquent reply that pronouns don't change your biological sex. Pronouns also refer to the amount of individuals instead of sex in some languages and in other use feminine and masculine pronouns even for objects (though, it is interesting to study these patterns to see just how deep the patriarchy/misogyny runs). Pronouns are social/cultural constructs and don't mean shit about your sex, identity, behaviours and such. If people associate sexist stereotypes to pronouns and are uncomfortable with them, it means they have a lot to unpack individually. You can't identify out of oppression, even with cosmetic surgeries and pronouns change. Trans identified females (trans "men") still experience misogyny, not the MRA knockoff of "transandrophobia".

"If gender isn't real then why can't they be women".

If gender is not real, they can't identify with it any more that they can identify with unicorns. I'm not sure of your logic here. But gender *is* real. It's a mean of oppression based on sex (and even sexual orientation I could argue. See the Straight Mind by Monique Wittig. "Are lesbian women?" she asked in this essay). That's why we want to abolish it. That's why people can't identify with it, because you can't identify with an oppression either.

You're either oppressed as a class or you aren't. And if we want to abolish gender and sex-based oppressions, what is there left? Biological sex as it is. A neutral characteristic. How can males be females? They can't. No matter how they look. Trans identified males are not oppressed for being males. I know libfems love to think that if you put "cishet" and "white" in front of "feminists" then we deserve rape and death threats and that if you put that in front of "men", if magically exempt gay, bi, black and trans-identified men from being misogynistic and to assert any dominance over another class. But males are part of the dominant group. It doesn't mean they can't be oppressed in other ways, for example because they are gays. But their oppression is then based on homophobia and not misogyny. Males are males and commit male violences, no matter the specifics. They do that in all countries, all social classes and have been doing so since forever. Men are dangerous for women in mental hospitals, in homeless shelters, in migrant camps, in religions, in the hood, in the antifa movement, in the Pride marches. No matter the other things that make them oppressed for intersectional feminism, they're still men. And people always like to forget that their first victims are the women from the oppressed communities they might be part of (in the LGBTQA+++ movement, trans-identified females -and female desisters/detrans- and lesbians, again, are the ones who are in the first line to get misogynistic, transphobic -ex : TIM calling them "theyfab" or "zippertits" or bullying and silencing them- and lesbophobic attacks)

"Like it takes more effort to say 'no you're a man' than it does to just go with whatever. So why do you put in the effort?"

Women are oppressed anyways so why put the effort in trying to liberate them? The climate change is going to happen anyways so why bother with keeping the forests intact when we could use coal warming and cryptocurrency and drink coca cola and wear Monsanto cotton everyday? Cops are part of law enforcement to keep the population in line and Steate-backed, so why bother calling out their violences? We're all going to die eventually so why not give cigarettes to infants and ride motorbikes with them without helmets? Why bother giving antidepressants to suicidal people or categrto wounds or build hospitals?

So sure, we can be extremely passive and stop caring about how this effects women's rights (like by counting murders committed by trans identified males as murders committed by women in the very statistics that are used to write laws). We wouldn't be radical feminist then. Or feminist at all.

Being a radfem isn't an identity, something we *are* as much as something we *do*. We put in the effort because nobody else does. In fact, trans activists are so uwu oppressed uwu that they're actively sabotaging women's rights in WHO and in the UN definitions and actively advocate for censorship and making it a hate crime to not believe in the soulgender religion and throwing "TERF" this or that at any women who talk about misogyny, patriarchy and oppression. Because it's a male-led movement, so of course they feel attacked when we're saying men are misogynistic and don't "notallmen" at every sentence and apologize for slightly hurting their feelings.

I'd also say that actually many of us were trans and have/had very dear trans friends. Some of us accept to use preferred pronouns. Unlike in the TRA movement, we don't get banned and censored and punished for not confirming 100% to some hive-mind guidelines. We just say it if we disagree. One of the reasons some of us don't use preferred pronouns of news articles and such on radblr (which doesn't mean shit about whether we do it personally for friends) is because 1) saying "she" when we talk about a crime is making us believe it was a female crime, which is confusing 2) it conceal male violence and misogyny hate crimes 3) we think it's more important to point out someone is a rapist, a pedophile, a violent misogynist...etc rather than to coddle feelings 4) we can't be bothered shaving our pits and putting makeup on, what do you think is our reaction to strangers trying to pressure us into not "misgendering" other strangers, especially criminals & men? We can't be arsed.

(I've also seen the argument that "she" is a mark of respect for someone who went through a life of misogyny and to all the women in our ancestry we're connected to, and therefore there's no way we'd honor men calling them "she", and tbh, very valid)

Hey Rad-Fems

I have a genuine question. Why do you care if trans-women identify as women? Like if gender isn’t real, then why can’t they be women? Cause I’ll let people use whatever pronouns they want for me… cause genders fake and who gives two shits… (and this could very well just be my mental illness kicking in, cause I believe I’m above gender… and I’m better than everyone else and stuff) but I know people who are trans, and I’ll respect their pronouns and stuff… but I just don’t care? Like it takes more effort to say ‘no you’re a man’ than it does to just go with whatever. So why do you put in the effort?