#hate seeing how much creativity and personality gets edited and removed despite it being the artist's job & how you have rememberable

[skiyoomii]

“Born to Run” - S. Hirugami

Summary: 

This is the story of a purple girl who lives under a tyrant red mother and a boy who is crumbling with the pressure of his blackened family to conform to their beliefs.

They were going to find their way out together.

They were born to run.

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About 4k words | Contains Post-Timeskip Spoilers! | Not edited 

----

Sachirou Hirugami was a shy child.

Despite growing up in a full household, filled with other children, all older than him, he never felt comfortable talking to those from outside his family.

He knew that there were children his age that lived on the street, went to the same school as him, and even shared the same class as him. But, he just couldn’t bring himself to go over and make friends.

He thought his family was enough, that he was enough.

One day, his mother came home in tears and proceeded to dress all her children in the color black.

Sachirou never liked the color black, or rather the shade of black. They drilled that into his head during art class, but he didn’t care.

Black was the absence of color. Black is the mysterious color that is filled with the unknown.

Sachirou hated the unknown. He needed an answer to everything. Every answer he was given by his parents or older siblings was always followed with a why. It annoyed his family to no end, but he had no intention of stopping.

Everything had an answer.

But, his father said that black also represents strength, seriousness, power, and authority.

Black is a formal, elegant, and prestigious color.

He didn’t know why he was wearing it to a funeral.

-

They first met when they were five. It was actually at her father’s funeral.

They were neighbors, so he had to attend seeing that his mother knew them.

Sachirou’s eyes met the neighbors for the first time.

Her eyes were captivating. It was as if she held the world in her twinkling eyes.

From then on, Sachirou decided that he was not going to hide from the stranger next door anymore.

-

He remembered feeling how her name flowed from his mouth for the first time after she introduced herself to him.

She had a beautiful name and he liked how it felt coming from his mouth.

He watched and listened as she said his given name from her lips, he felt oddly satisfied as his name came out.

She offered to lead him away from the chattering adults and older children.

Sachirou didn’t hesitate to take her hand.

The girl next door reminded him of the color purple.

The color purple combines the calm stability of blue and the fierce energy of red.

Purple is the color of royalty, nobility, luxury, power, and ambition.

It represents creativity, wisdom, dignity, devotion, peace, pride, mystery, independence, and even magic— although magic isn’t real, no matter how much they pretended it was.

The girl next door reminded him so much of the color purple.

Purple is dark and rich, a baritone sax bellowing jazz.

She became his escape from his chaotic household with her soft hands and soothing voice that led him away from his troubles.

No matter how small those troubles were.

She moved with all the grace a five-year-old can have as she swung from the swings to the wood chips that covered the ground at the park nearby.

She led him through the bushes, catching the summertime cicadas that were scattered around.

She led him through the cold creek that was flowing beside the park.

He was the one who led her back to their houses so he could show her how to play volleyball, just like his father and older siblings had done for him.

--

At age ten, Sachirou and the girl next door sat side by side on the swing set that was in the same park they frequently visited.

He watched helplessly as she put some stolen plasters from the local convenience store on her fresh wounds.

He asked where she got them from and she simply shrugged and said from her mother, then proceeded to go on a mini tangent about how her mother is the worst, though she never stated why she got hurt.

Her wounds were red.

Red is the color of extremes.

It is the color of passionate love, violence, danger, anger, and adventure.

Red is the color of fire and blood.

The color that was currently decorating his best friend’s skin.

Sachirou didn’t like it.

Parents don’t give their children wounds that bad out of passionate love or adventure- so that really left violence and anger.

What was her mother angry about?

The girl next door is probably the most perfect person on earth to Sachirou.

Everything about her mother screamed danger to Sachirou, even to the point where he made himself scarce whenever he went to knock for his friend.

Sachirou didn’t like the color red. More than he didn’t like the shade of black.

Her mother reminded him of the color red.

So, he didn’t like her mother.

With a quick snap from his friend, Sachirou was removed from his thoughts and turned to face the girl beside him.

She wore a stupid grin on her face and held out her fist to him.

He automatically bumped his fist against hers.

Thank you.

He didn’t know why she thanked him. He didn’t do anything to help besides cover her body so she could successfully steal the plasters.

He didn’t even get a chance to help her fix herself up, only sat not he swing beside her and barely listened.

Sachirou did not ask this time. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer.

All he knew is that he didn’t want to see the color red on her skin again.

But, it’s a hard world that constantly asks you to live with a lot of things that are unlivable.

-

Ever since her father’s funeral, it became a mini ritual for the duo to go to the park and play by the creek.

It becomes their escape from the clutches of their families.

From the color red and the shade of black that tied them down.

One last vestige of freedom, the one place they can break the rules and feel like individuals rather than conforming to the thoughts and ideals of their parents.

The creek reminded Sachiro of the color blue.

Blue is the color of the sky and sea.

It is depth and stability.

Blue symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth, and even heaven.

The creek was the place where they can be themselves and trust that it won’t spill their secret words to their families.

As they dipped their feet in the crystal blue waters of the creek, they lifted their heads to the sky to bask in the warmth of the sun.

The sun was a broad myriad of hot glowing gases at the heart of the solar system that the human race lived in.

It made him feel so small in a comforting way.

Like his problems were so… minuscule.

When he brought this up to his friend, whose skin was still littered with the color red, she gave him a hearty chuckle, and wholeheartedly agreed.

Just remember to never compare your problems with other peoples. Your problems are your own. Don’t negate the fact your pain is real.

He brought his head down to meet her gaze.

Sachirou found himself stuck in her mesmerizing eyes once more.

After a few moments, he reminds her to take her own advice.

They left the creek and took the trek back to their homes.

Back to the colors of black and red that controlled their lives.

-

At age 14, Sachirou offers to run away with the girl next door.

Instead of immediately accepting or declining, she asked why. Just like he did— still does.

The color black was suffocating him— slowly but surely.

He was struggling to make decisions by himself, he felt his anxiety taking over, his overactive mind went racing most times, and the one thing that he was supposed to love felt like chains weighing him down.

He felt like he went too deep, deep into the ocean. He is kicking and trying to keep himself afloat, and it’s hard to breathe, but he is just trying to keep his head over the surface.

He wasn’t the best with putting his thoughts into viable words, but he could tell that she understood him enough.

She responded by telling him to remember that he can just float.

It sounded like a simple solution, but he would feel like he is drifting, all alone.

Despite what he thought in his earlier years, Sachirou did not want to be alone anymore.

She reminded him that he would never be alone while she was around.

A lack of communication is a form of pain. Because to be alive, to be human, we need others. We don’t need just to be seen, to be perceived: we need to be listened to too.

She didn’t want him in pain. Yet, as he looked at the various shades of red that were scattered across her skin, he felt his heart clench painfully.

He wanted to call her a hypocrite. He wanted to just yell at her for being stupid and not relying on him as he relied on her.

He just wanted his only friend to be okay.

His plans of running away were put in the back of his mind for now.

-

Sachirou had to walk home alone on a certain day because his friend was needed by teachers.

It definitely gave him time to think with his overactive mind.

Sachirou’s family is a volleyball family through and through.

His parents, brothers, and sisters all went to famous schools.

Due to his family’s influence, he started the sport as well, thinking he’d become a player who could stand on the world stage.

It was a child’s dream, yet it was real life for a few in his family.

Sachirou was blessed with a good physique and dexterity, so he had fun playing. 

Volleyball was the flicker of white in the darkness of his family.

He never hesitated to go to the middle school with the strongest team.

He wanted to get better.

He wanted to spike it in.

He wanted to get aces.

He wanted to have good receives.

Everything is connected in volleyball.

His life became volleyball.

Sachiruo’s only escape was the girl next door.

She was the thing that let him keep his sanity.

The pressure of his family to not screw up, to not lose overgrew everything else.

There only became one explanation for not getting results, and that is not working hard enough.

Corners should not be cut.

And what used to be the white to his black life, slowly turned grey. It slowly but surely kept growing darker.

Everything is connected in volleyball.

Sachirou got frustrated at his mistakes.

He got annoyed with the connected mistakes.

He looked down at his calloused hand and pictured the red that was stained to his friend’s skin.

He pressed his hand against the stone wall that went along with the sidewalk and roughly dragged his knuckles across the stone, leaving a trail of red behind.

  He didn’t stop until someone- now his second friend- Kourai Hoshiumi, roughly tugged his backpack away from the wall, thus moving him as well.

Kourai was on the same team as him.

Kourai was a ball of orange.

Orange is a combination of yellow and red and is considered an energetic color.

Orange calls to mind feelings of excitement, enthusiasm, and warmth.

Orange draws attention.

Kourai draws attention.

Kourai is the color orange just as the girl next door is the color purple, and just like the girl next door’s mother is the color red.

Having the human embodiment of the color orange cringe at his now reddened hand made the thoughts that were rested in his mind come forward.

Salty tears went down his face and he finally admitted that the thing that used to be white is now black.

It felt nice to talk with a new person that wasn’t the purple girl next door.

The orange person had such a straightforward way of thinking that Sachirou couldn’t help but follow along.

That maybe he just had his fill.

It’s not like that all the muscle he built up will just vanish just because he wanted to quit.

You can always quit.

Sachiruo’s new friend (color) left it at that after he was satisfied that the red on Sachirou’s hand wouldn’t grow any larger.

The girl next door’s previous words made sense to him now.

The black and the unknown didn’t seem as suffocating now.

-

Sachirou draped a blanket over their shoulders as they sat side by side on a dry log, letting their feet dangle in the crystal blue waters of the creek.

He spoke to her about what transpired when he met the color orange just the other day.

She scolded him for the red that now stained his knuckles.

But she praised him for learning that it was okay to just stop.

He smiled down at the girl beside him and watched as she took his reddened hand in hers as if she could erase it from his skin.

Sachirou asked her what she wanted to do in the future.

The girl only looked up at the sky as if it would give her the answer.

She answered him with a shrug before turning the question around on him.

Sachirou pursed his lips and looked in front of them, staring at the vibrant green trees that surrounded them.

Green.

Green is the color of life.

Green is the color of renewal, nature, and energy.

It is associated with meanings of growth, harmony, freshness, safety, and environment.

It is the color that helps alleviate anxiety, depression, and nervousness.

Maybe that’s why he felt his heart rest as he turned back to her with his answer.

Sachirou always liked animals.

Animals are said to help lower blood pressure, reduce anxiety, and decrease depression.

Interacting with animals increases levels of the hormone oxytocin.

Oxytocin is known as the ‘love hormone’ or ‘cuddle chemical’ because it is shown to be an important factor in human behaviors including recognition, trust, and anxiety.

Animals reminded Sachirou of the color green.

Green was one of Sachirou’s favorite colors.

Animals were one of Sachirou’s favorite things.

Animals were green, just as Kourai was orange, the girl next door was purple, and her mother is red.

A veterinarian.

That’s what he will do.

No more volleyball.

No more blackness from his family.

The sport of volleyball, which used to be black, slowly grew lighter, from black to grey.

Now all he has to do is figure out how to erase the red that was on his friend’s skin.

--

At age 16, Sachirou Hirugami finally stood up for what he wanted.

After he had been thoroughly convinced by the color orange and the color purple, Sachirou confronted his blackened family about the matter.

His parents were disappointed, yet Sachirou couldn’t find it in himself to care about it.

His lack of concern overpowered the disappointment of his parents.

After an awkward dinner that night, Sachirou whisked the girl next door away to the creek so he could spill everything that was bottled inside.

He immediately frowned once he saw the harsh red that was battered along her skin.

He used the freshwater from the creek to rinse off the very fresh red wounds.

Sachirou released the thoughts he has been thinking about for the last ten years of his life.

He finally burst out and called her a hypocrite.

He asked why she never relied on him the way he relied on her.

He grabbed purple by the wrist and tugged her into his body, wrapped her up in his arms.

Sachirou watched as tears came down from her eyes.

That moment reminded him of the color dark blue.

Dark blue represents integrity, knowledge, power, and seriousness.

Importance, confidence, and authority.

A color that reminded him of black, but its not quite there.

The seriousness of the world around them.

The power that their families held over them.

The newfound knowledge on how to break the chains that tethered them to the ground.

The importance of each other’s presence and how they fixed each other.

Two people trying to find the way home.

They wanted to run with each other and never stop.

A purple girl who lives under a tyrant red mother, and a boy who is crumbling with the pressure of his blackened family to conform to their beliefs.

They were going to find their way out together.

They were born to run.

-

Pink represents joy, sexuality, passion, sensitivity, and love.

Pink signifies romance and friendship.

Pink is what Sachirou felt once he recognized his feelings towards the girl next door.

Pink is what was shown on his face when he talked to Kourai about his feelings towards his best friend.

Pink went well with purple.

Orange stood by the side and watched as pink and purple fell into a nice magenta.

Love is a quiet emotion that in time becomes part of the oxygen you need to breathe, and so though you may not be sure that it’s there, any form of removal and the emotions begin to choke.

Love is what Sachirou felt towards the purple in his life.

He didn’t really know when it started, but infatuation turned into a deep yearning and that turned into a burning passion of pure unadulterated love.

Meeting her was fate, being her friend was a choice, and falling in love was bound to happen.

Purple was the one who painted his world with the colors he loved so much.

Purple was the one who keeps him shielded, defending him from the brutality.

Purple was the one he would die a thousand times over for.

He feels her pain raging in his soul, and it turns the red in his veins to a nice light pink.

The blue helped him and purple come together.

Sachirou chose purple.

And now as he explained his feelings towards purple, purple chose him.

-

Sachirou planned to go to University in Tokyo.

Tokyo was far from Nagano, where they lived.

245.5 kilometers or 152.5 miles to be precise.

Tokyo would be their new creek, their new blue.

As said before, blue represents freedom, justice, perseverance, vigilance, peace, prosperity, and patriotism.

Tokyo would be all those things to them once they leave high school.

Tokyo would also represent green.

Green is the color of life, renewal, nature, and energy.

Growth, harmony, freshness, safety.

Tokyo would become blue-green.

Tokyo is the renewal of their lives and the newfound freedom they would get once they left Nagano.

Purple wanted to be a writer.

She would go to school in Tokyo and work for a degree in English and Journalism.

Sachirou would work for a degree in Medicine.

They would work with each other to accomplish their dreams.

Sachirou thought purple would be a great writer. She had a way with words that just made them stick in his brain.

Her words reminded him of the color yellow.

Yellow is exciting without being loud or angry.

It is a warm, soft color, like a baby chick, or the warmth of sunlight in springtime streaming through a window, warming up a patch on the carpet.

If her words were a physical thing, he would ask if he could sit near them on a cold day.

Yellow is the color that stands for wisdom, intellect, logic, memory, concentration, will-power, and communication.

Her words matched her very well.

Purple goes well with yellow after all.

Sachirou would need her yellow words to get him through life.

He would take purple and her yellow words to the place where blue and green shine most.

He would take them both away from the red and black that suffocated them for so long.

He would run with purple until he dropped.

They would never look back.

-

At the age of 18, Sachiro and the girl next door sat side by side on the brown log that was by their creek.

The little promise in his pocket felt very heavy as he traced it through his pants.

He eyed the red that was still on purple’s skin.

It was getting smaller, but it was still there nonetheless.

Purple eyed him because he was so quiet.

He shakily grabbed her hand and opened it gently.

He placed the promise that was in his pocket into her hand and turned his head so he wouldn’t have to see her reaction.

Purple grinned up at him and grabbed his chin, tenderly forcing him to face her.

Her twinkling eyes were filled with tears, not the sad kind, but the happy kind.

She slid the ring on her finger and admired the tiny amazonite jewel that sat so neatly on top of it.

Amazonite was a blue-green stone that represents truth, honor, integrity, hope, and trust.

The stone is said to provide comfort after an emotional upset.

Sachirou hoped he could be amazonite to his purple.

Purple reassured him that he was more than just amazonite to her.

Purple said he was everything to her.

He silently agreed that purple was everything to him as well.

That day, Sachirou promised himself to purple, and purple promised herself to him.

He had to thank the human personified version of the color orange for helping him pick out the promise for his purple.

-

March; the season of goodbyes.

In Japan, the school year ends in March and begins in April.

The loneliness of saying goodbye and hope for a new start begins in March.

Sachirou associated the month of March with Aquamarine.

Aquamarine has an affinity with sensitive people.

It invokes tolerance of others and overcomes judgmentalism, giving support to those overwhelmed by responsibility.

It was one of Sachirou’s favorite colors.

Sachirou got together with his purple and orange.

He didn’t waste time and immediately gave the second button of his uniform to purple.

It was a tradition for lovers to give the 2nd button of their school uniform to their loved one as a memento.

Purple was his loved one, so it only made sense.

Kourai laughed at the pink that dusted their cheeks, only for them to turn around and laugh at him once a girl strolled up to him and blatantly asked for his number.

Kourai was going to Tokyo as well.

Kourai was not going to college.

Kourai got offered a position on a Division 1 professional volleyball team in the V-Leagues.

The Schweiden Adlers.

That team has the colors white, orange, and dark blue.

Sachirou thought it suited his friend very well.

Kourai would fly to tremendous heights on that team while Sachiro and purple worked their brains into dust in college.

Kourai threatened to kill them both if they didn’t stay in contact despite going to the same city.

Kourai wasn’t simply a good friend. He was the orange that became a part of Sachirou’s soul, just as purple had.

Purple and orange complimented each other well. Just like purple and yellow.

Purple and orange were the colors that dominated his life now.

Orange is the wind that howls and purple is the gentle center of the storm.

Purple and orange gave consistent love, patience, and warmth to Sachirou.

Purple and orange kept him bound yet free, they let him fly yet kept him grounded, they made him drunk in laughter yet kept him sober.

Orange is the intense, glamorous sparks of fire and hot energy.

Orange is leaving the windows down on a car, and having the radio is on so loud that your ears are bleeding.

Orange doesn’t notice the speed limit, yet they still have a clean driving record.

Purple is the soothing, serene sounds of chatting, venting, and laughing.

Purple let him spend hours on end just being himself. No mask was needed to hide behind. Not a mask of happiness, not a mask of coping, just himself. He could be honest and get heartfelt advice.

After all, purple and orange compliment each other.

And March is the season of goodbyes.

Goodbye to the black and red and clouded their lives.

Goodbye to the red that stained purple’s skin.

Goodbye to the black who drove their son to the point of self-harm.

Goodbye volleyball.

Goodbye Nagano.

END

----

AN: Ahh! Thank you for reading! If you have any questions, please let me know <3

[passionate-reply]

This week on Great Albums: My first video about Depeche Mode--and it’s about their first album! I think it’s pretty good, but a lot of people HATE it. Are you intrigued? Take a listen, or read the transcript, and see where you fall!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’ll be looking at the somewhat rough start of one of the most iconic bands in the history of electronic music: Depeche Mode, and their 1981 debut, Speak & Spell. While Depeche Mode are certainly a beloved band, many of their fans actively revile Speak & Spell. What’s wrong with it? Well, it has songs that sound like this.

Music: “Just Can’t Get Enough”

“Just Can’t Get Enough” isn’t exactly the kind of song Depeche Mode are associated with--though it did make an entry in the charts, and remains fairly well known today, largely thanks to its use in advertising. The band’s “classic run,” spanning roughly from the mid-80s to the mid-90s, saw them achieve substantial mainstream adulation, as a pop act peddling dark and gothic themes, and maintaining a substantial electronic element to their music, without ever becoming inaccessible to rock listeners. They were even “rock and roll” enough to consistently break America, which is no small feat for, essentially, a synth-pop band from England. That synth-pop heritage dominates the sonic palate of Speak & Spell, and it’s hard to imagine a die-hard rock fan vibing with upbeat, almost saccharine pop ditties like “What’s Your Name?”

Music: “What’s Your Name?”

Of course, “What’s Your Name?” has another big problem besides favouring bright, chirping synth riffs over the guitar-based chug of tracks like “Personal Jesus.” Its seemingly homoerotic lyrics might be said to constitute the first instance of Depeche Mode engaging in what we might call musical “queer-baiting.” Thumbing their noses at norms of sexuality and gender presentation have earned the band a substantial queer following throughout their career, but it’s not such a smart move if you’re trying to attract macho rock listeners, and get yourself into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

Part of the reason why Depeche Mode were ultimately able to do those things, later in their career, is that they had a pretty handy scapegoat: Vince Clarke. Clarke was a founding member of the band, and as the chief songwriter for all but two tracks on Speak & Spell, he was unequivocally the creative force driving the album. Conveniently enough, Clarke not only departed from Depeche Mode immediately after this first album, but went on to serve as an integral member of two unequivocally poppy duos, Yazoo and Erasure. But as easy as it is to simply blame Vince Clarke’s interest in cheerful pop for the apparent failures of Speak & Spell, this hypothesis doesn’t hold up. Some Clarke-penned numbers, like “Puppets,” are at least as gloomy as anything from the mind of Martin L. Gore, who took over songwriting duties on every subsequent Depeche Mode LP.

Music: “Puppets”

“Puppets” is pretty far from a feel-good song. Those fairly bright synths remain, but here, they feel more like a tense crescendo of violins, as something goes poorly in a horror film, and a serrated synth stab answers them from below. Dave Gahan’s semi-whispered delivery of the vocals, which narrate the perspective of a manipulative and controlling partner, add even more to its sinister ambiance. Given only a minor aesthetic facelift, “Puppets” could fit just fine onto most other Depeche Mode albums, even if Clarke did write it. I actually think the softer, poppier touches this track DOES have serve it well, and make it feel a bit insidious--like a lover who seems loveable and charming at first, before revealing their abusive tendencies over time. Another track that really benefits from creating tension between pop fluff and things macabre is the striking “I Sometimes Wish I Was Dead.”

Music: “I Sometimes Wish I Was Dead”

“I Sometimes Wish I Was Dead” features an almost gratingly toylike synth riff, that reminds me a bit of those custom cell phone ringtones from the 00s. Its lyrics are also almost painfully chipper, at least at first, as is Gahan’s infantile delivery of them...but there seems to be some irony there. While that provocative title doesn’t actually appear, the song seems to be obliquely telling a story of someone dealing with a breakup, albeit cloaked in this eerily sunny music. International editions of *Speak & Spell* would remove this track in favour of the non-album A-side “Dreaming of Me,” presumably targeting it for its inflammatory title and short runtime of just over two minutes. “I Sometimes Wish I Was Dead” is a powerful reminder that just because something has a shiny pop veneer doesn’t mean it’s disposable, or that it lacks in artistic complexity.

Still, if you’re in the market for something that feels more like “classic” Depeche Mode, Speak & Spell can deliver on that front as well. Look no further than Gore’s contributions to the album, such as “Tora! Tora! Tora!” With its frantic refrain, and troubling themes of nuclear holocaust, “Tora! Tora! Tora!” feels more like Depeche Mode’s classic run than just about anything else on Speak & Spell, prefiguring iconic tracks like “Leave In Silence” and “People Are People” quite well.

Music: “Tora! Tora! Tora!”

Speak & Spell’s cover is certainly strange and a bit opaque, showing some sort of bird in its nest from a very low angle. The background is almost entirely a lurid, artificial-looking pinkish red, with no other recognizable figures to ground this landscape in reality. Between the chaotic textures of the nest, and the surreal emptiness of the scene, it comes across as a sort of nightmare world, albeit one populated by only this fairly non-threatening creature...that we know of. If we look closely at that bird, we can start to see what looks like a transparent veil covering its neck and head. I like to interpret this image as a representation of the natural world, destroyed by human callousness: an animal suffocates under a sheet of plastic, while the sky behind it glows red with bombs “raining from the sky,” as in “Tora! Tora! Tora!”

Despite the title, you won’t hear any samples of the titular toy on Speak & Spell--though Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark would famously incorporate some on their album Dazzle Ships, a few years later. The title “Speak & Spell” would seem to suggest the album’s light, playful tone, and sense of pop novelty. A Speak & Spell is, of course, a fun and entertaining toy, which repeats the same handful of things over and over, as a pop song might be played *ad infinitum* on the radio. Perhaps the way the songs sneak a darker emotional undercurrent past their listeners is parallel to how the toy covertly educates children in basic spelling, while also being amusing to fool around with.

After Speak & Spell, it took several more years for Depeche Mode to really find their footing, and launch into that classic period of theirs where they released most of their best-loved material. Despite the absence of Vince Clarke, their sophomore LP, A Broken Frame, is stylistically rather similar to Speak & Spell, and pairs somber tracks like “The Sun and the Rainfall” and “My Secret Garden” with some very upbeat ones like “The Meaning of Love.” If the fact that Clarke could write “Puppets” didn’t sell you on my assertion that he isn’t the singular problem with Speak & Spell, the fact that Martin Gore wrote “The Meaning of Love” should serve as proof that the desire to make catchy pop tunes didn’t rest solely on any one person’s shoulders.

Music: “The Meaning of Love”

My favourite track from Speak & Spell is the opener, “New Life.” “New Life” was also released as a single and made substantial headway in the charts, though it doesn’t seem quite as well remembered as “Just Can’t Get Enough.” Like “I Sometimes Wish I Was Dead,” “New Life” is almost disgustingly catchy and hooky, but hides some surprisingly dark lyrics. But I’ll freely admit that I don’t particularly have some sophisticated, intellectually justified reason for liking this song the most, besides just thinking it’s a real toe-tapper. While I’ve gone to great lengths to dispel the idea that Speak & Spell is nothing but cheerful pop, I’d also like to point out that simply being cheerful pop isn’t exactly a musical sin. Whether you like it or not, it’s certainly far from easy to write a great pop song that stands the test of time, the way tracks like “New Life” and “Just Can’t Get Enough” have, and simply pointing out that they’re not as morose as later Depeche Mode songs isn’t a worthwhile criticism of them. While I enjoy a lot of more gothic music myself, I think a work of art that elicits the emotion of joy has as much of a shot at being a Great Album as one that wants to make us angry, sad, or afraid. On that note, I’ve reached the end of my video--as always, thanks for listening.

Music: “New Life”

[samslosthoe]

astrology of j2 and wives, Ackles edition.

This is an interesting one. I expected to be a little thrown off by it in one way or another, and you should get why if you read my whining about Jensen’s Pisces. This isn’t one of those relationships where you look from the outside and kind of understand it. I will say that I expected fewer positives than I did wind up seeing, though that’s to do with my own personal biases (about Pisces in relationships as well as D herself) and not the actual compatibility of the chart.

I want to point out that before I do these deep-dives, I don't really look at the charts beforehand. Anything I said before I actually look has been an assumption on my part, based on what I already knew. For instance, I didn't know a thing about Danneel's full chart before doing this and based most of my assumptions on her sun sign and what I know about Jensen's chart. Also, as I go on and do more of these, I get better. The first ones were experiments, and as I gather more information, I have more to say and consider. So I may revisit the original posts and add on later.

So, let's take a look at the Ackles' chart.

For the first go-around of these, I want to say that I'm looking at the charts at face-value. What I mean is that we're putting the tin hat aside and analyzing the chart as if it were the relationship we've been presented with. I may or may not go back later and put said hat on to analyze it that way.

This time, we're gonna start with the positive aspects.

Not unlike the Pads, these two have serious sexual chemistry. It comes up a lot in this chart but isn't all that the relationship is hinged on, unlike said Pads. Since their attraction shows itself in multiple ways, there's also a level of danger with this passion, meaning that when it blows up, it blows up in a big way. This is absolutely common among people with a connection like this--big fights and big sex. I don't find this at all surprising.

What did come as a surprise was that this chart indicates that they tend to lift each other up creatively and they work on joint projects together well. It shouldn't have surprised me, considering that there is evidence to support this, though it is argued amongst the more critical fans how much involvement these two have in the Family Business Beer co. At face value, if you take what they tell us and what they say to the media, the two of them clearly created something that works well and is profitable. The nuance is a discussion for another time, but on paper, this checks out.

Let's touch on some gray areas. I'm the kind of person that takes a basic chart like this one and adds in the situations of reality and tries to make sense of it. In the positive column, it mentions that if they have children, they'll have a happy childhood, and there's a reason why I personally see it as gray.

This isn't a criticism of the couple's parenting; you're not gonna get that here from a childless, anonymous person on the internet. What I WILL say is that every child is different. This chart is saying that as parents, these two will be fun and fantastical, and that playtime comes easy. I think adding in the reality of Jensen being gone for so long, so much of their childhood, and this chart not accounting for the children's charts themselves, this isn't enough information to declare a "happy childhood." To add a bit of my personal bias here, my father is like SUPER dad, right? Well, when I was a child, he worked sooo much and I barely ever saw him. I wound up with plenty of issues surrounding that, despite my memories of actual time with my dad being amazing. Do you see why this is in the gray category?

I'm also gonna add that physical-based attraction in this gray area because many of the other aspects mention how this isn't an intellectually stimulating match. This may also be personal bias, hence the gray, but I don't think you can have a truly longlasting relationship based on physicality. Even when you're as hot as Jensen.

We're onto the challenging aspects of this pairing. This particular interaction in the chart follows up what I said in the previous paragraph: while the connection may be instant, it'll be difficult to maintain. These two people are bound to grow apart unless it's something addressed between them. If they're not careful to check-in with each other, they're likely to wind up with nothing in common anymore.

This next bit really intrigued me and I'm not putting my hat on, but if you know, you know. So here we have Venus square Neptune, which tells you that Jensen (Venus in this case) is very likely to misunderstand D, and he may wind up feeling like he is really the only one in love in this pairing. It says that D may be unfaithful or feel like she has to lie to keep Jensen happy and that Jensen may be seeing things with that romanticized view he has of the world, aka not what's really happening. This is a HUGE danger zone for them, and unless they have effective communication (spoiler: doesn't look like they do), this could be really awful.

We've got another challenge here with this next bit: criticism. If you read my Jensen chart, you'll know a Pisces is going to be reeeeaally sensitive to criticism. Well, they're both Pisces. And what happens when you feel criticized when you're very sensitive? You either lash out or close off. These two are likely to do the latter, which is honestly going to drive a bigger wedge between them than if they blew up in each other's faces. There's another aspect that links to this one in terms of problems, where Jensen will feel like Danneel finds his ideas bland and rigid and he'll find that hard to tolerate from his partner.

I find this next aspect really interesting, given that, as far as we know, Jensen is going to be more home-based after Supernatural unless he has a sneaky project up his sleeve we're not aware of yet. This aspect was taken care of when half of their marriage was spent apart, but if Jensen stays within the home as much as your "average" husband would, they may run into some problems. They're both independent spirits and may find each other very stifling if they spend too much time together.

So in general, what do I think? I think this one really depends on their communication and how hard they're willing to work on themselves to better fit each other. This is where the private nature of Pisces is screwing with my perception: there's just not enough information. And you know what? That's what they want. I really think they'd both hate this kind of analysis, probably for different reasons. The thing is, it's going to be hard enough for them to know what the other is thinking and feeling, and they're married, so I have very little odds of cracking this open when they probably struggle themselves.

Removed from these two, I find Pisces to not do well with another Pisces. It's a slippery mess of emotions and things unsaid but "I shouldn't have to say it, you should already know." Pisces needs someone to pull them out of themselves, to get them out of their heads and into the world so they don't wind up living in an inner prison. Putting them together just perpetuates that, like putting two drug addicts that don't want to quit together. They can bring out the worst in each other.

Pisces as friends? Sure. There will be a creative exchange, they'll have fun dressing up and showing out together, won't feel vulnerable together, and maybe have fun. But that's, in my opinion, an unfulfilling prospect of a relationship and marriage that's supposed to last a long time.

But I'm not a Pisces nor a psychic, so what do I know?

[honeyrose-tea]

this has been a strange start to the new year for sure. how are you doing? what did you think of the situation in the capitol? any thoughts or worries about the rest of the month? I'm curious to hear your thoughts on everything. -🌙

thank you so much for the ask💞 almost every day I check my inbox anticipating the next time I'll hear from you. just knowing that someone cares.... it really does a lot for my self-esteem. I don't have many friends right now and the few I do are very busy and have a lot of things they would rather do than talk to me. thank you for making time to listen to me and ask me how I'm doing. you wouldn't believe how many people don't. I haven't always been the most consistent presence for you and I'm sorry. I'm trying to do better and be less selfish because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of that. thank you for always being kind to me, pen pal.

there is a lot I want to say regarding the capitol and the situation in the country in general. as a social science student (and hopefully one day a professor!) these situations are of great academic interest to me. as a bisexual woman and an informed US citizen who cares about my rights I am also very personally vested in American issues. but first I would like to tackle your question regarding how I'm doing:)

I'm doing pretty good. classes have started back up but most of mine are online. I'm thinking of switching to online exclusively because of how much emotional (and sometimes physical) labor in-person classes are, and also for the sake of my health and my parents'. it's funny how so many things we did with ease before the pandemic seem so burdensome now. even small interactions are anxiety-inducing now, and I find myself having a hard time socializing even casually. like a muscle that has atrophied without use, my social skills are awful now. on a happier note, my productivity and creativity are both at all-time highs since social interactions aren't using up all my energy anymore. I brought my record player to my dorm room and I've been listening to a bunch of music, I've also been writing and recording some music of my own. I have a couple of demos and if you or anyone else is interested, I'll post them on here. once I record and edit full band versions I'll put them up on my soundcloud. I've tried sharing some of my stuff with some friends but none of them really care and I don't want to annoy them. besides, it's more for myself anyway. I wang to prove to myself that I can make music and that I can say something worth saying. a lot of my struggle over the past 6 months has been that I feel as though nothing I do or say can change anything, that none of my actions matter. I struggle a lot with control and I've been working on it for years, but it's still really hard for me. anyway. I'm enjoying class and what I do outside of it. I've been in my element living alone again (in my dorm) and feeling free to wear/do/say what I want, when I want. I wash my dishes and sing to myself and manage my time and drink lots of artificially sweetened and heavily flavored coffee without anyone around to judge me. and I get to cry and masturbate when I want, both of which are helpful in regulating my moods. I don't know. it's not like I'm doing anything exciting, but I am doing each thing I do well and with a happy heart. I feel like this portion of my life is something of a hibernation- the winter seasons combined with the pandemic have me in a cozy little daydream, reading and self-reflecting and getting back in tune with myself and my passions. I have a feeling that the spring and summer will be very vibrant bustling months so I am trying to enjoy my rest and soak in as much knowledge about myself and the world around me as I can. it's hard for me to live in the present and not get antsy (connected to control issues, I think) but I'm getting better at it. on the subject of the future, I've also been using this time to look into grad school and prepare for the GRE (a standardized test required for most grad school applications, similar to the ACT/SAT). I'm learning a lot that I didn't know since neither of my parents went further than undergrad, and I'm getting excited. I'm really looking forward to doing research. I've already been collecting some thesis ideas for an undergraduate-level thesis that I have to complete next year for the honors college, and hopefully I can turn that into a masters and/or PHD thesis when the time comes. now, on to more important matters than my silly little life.

I have very complicated feelings about america. I do have some attachment to some of the original ideas that are at the foundation- "bring me your huddled masses...", "all men are created equal", the general spirit of democracy, etc.- all of these are valid and worth keeping (in some form) to me. I think a lot of good people and ideas exist around us and I believe that we must be as empathetic and kind as possible to one another in order to navigate the current climate and preserve the good that we do have. that said, america was also founded on some pretty terrible, bigoted principles and our history- as well as our present- is marred by injustices. our society has become highly individualistic because of capitalism, and it has resulted in considerable division on every level. the competition that fuels capitalism is like an invasive species of plant, it does not only exist within our economy but it slithers out into our social world and the way we relate to others. I think capitalism coupled with our post-enlightenment founding is the source of most all of our problems as a country. capitalism has taken root in america in a way more malicious and all-consuming than in any other culture, because it was there at the beginning of our country and all of our social norms have grown out of it. many other cultures have existed long before capitalism and though it has modified their culture, it has not altogether become it. because america was founded on capitalism, we have no cultural identity outside of it. america is, itself, capitalism. that is precisely why america is experiencing all of the best and worst parts of capitalism at their most extreme. it is why, as I mentioned previously, we are perhaps the most divisive and competitive society in the modern world, and probably in history. we are the richest and most powerful country but we have the largest wealth gap and incarceration rate, among many other extremes.

all of this is to say that the rise of Trump and fascism in this country has been a long time coming, and unmistakably inevitable. to defeat it we will have to break america down to its fundamentals, throw out everything that is unethical and unjust, and rebuild our entire society from there. this is radical and hard to imagine, it will also be very difficult to execute, but I strongly believe that much of our societal systems just cannot be reformed, they must be thrown out and replaced.

the capitol riots were inexcusable and sickening but decidedly inevitable. this has been steadily building for america's entire existence. I think it will get worse before it gets better, as there are already plans for bigger and more numerous protests across the country in the following weeks. that said, I feel hopeful as I see the anti-fascist movement grow in the wake of fascism, I am hopeful as I see many people being radicalized and awakened to the realities of this country's failings. I don't know how exactly we will even begin to rid ourselves of the biases, prejudices, and downright hatred that plagues our country. I don't know how we will relate on an individual level to those with such deeply-ingrained hate in their hearts. I don't know how we will change our systems of government and economy to reflect new cultural values that we begin to build together. I am not sure what the future will hold. I do believe, however, that we will triumph over this moment and that the future will be better. I think that the only way to radically change and unite so many vastly different people and remove the blinders from their eyes is through a terrible, historic awakening like the one we are having now. the situation itself is awful, but I am hopeful that out of this mess we become a nation more committed to justice and to some of the ideals which we have falsely claimed to be emulating for our entire history.

so yes, I am worried about the next few weeks, months, and even years. there is no end to the pursuit of a just society, and I think every informed citizen is always a bit apprehensive about certain aspects of their culture. there will always be problems to combat and injustices to rectify, but I think that we will soon be moving to a better place, that we will remember these moments and say, "never again". I am hopeful, despite seeing some of the worst of humanity in recent days, that these atrocities will bring positive change.

I know that was long and instead of discussing issues about the capitol, or even just current political issues, I expanded the scope considerably and dragged in a lot of things from history and grander sociopolitical theories. still, I think it is hard to talk about the insurrection attempt without talking about a lot more. thank you for reading my takes and caring about them. I spend a lot of time thinking about these things, and it feels nice to share them with someone other than my annoyed professors who want me to shut up so they can finish the lecture and stick to their semester schedule.

I hope you're well and that you're staying safe and healthy. are you in school now too? have you or your family had the virus? thank you for coming to talk to me, I always enjoy it. I'll talk to you again soon💞

[polis-fandom]

The Last Jedi thoughts

It’s been a week and I’m still on the fence with this movie. Everytime I think I’m getting over the disappointment and starting to enjoy what was good there, I come across some review that’s like “THIS IS THE GREATEST STAR WARS MOVIE EVERRRR!!! ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING!” and it flares up again. I feel like I’m in the Gombrowicz’s tale, “how is it breathtaking, when it’s not breathtaking?! how is it beautiful, when it’s not beautiful? how is Rian Johnson a great director, when he’s the worst one since George Lucas?”. I need to get away from any discourse about this movie, or I’ll end up hating it. And it doesn’t deserve my hatred, because it’s not really a bad movie.

Bitter Me: *whispers* Luke Skywalker.

Me:

So I’ll just put my feelings here and move on. Under the cut, ‘cause lots of spoilers and overhelming bitterness, tho nothing new, others said all that already, so ignore as you wish.

“Star Wars: A New Hope” was the first movie I watched in cinema. No, I mean the remastered version from 1997, I’m not that old. But, yeah, Star Wars were the movies of my childhood, and are still among my favourite stories ever. After surviving the rocky Prequel Trilogy during my teenage years, I was excited to be brought back to the universe, and while The Force Awakens was redundant as far as the storyline goes, it won me over with the visuals. I made a conscious decision not to get attached to any of the new characters, because I felt there wasn’t enough to know about them. Besides, in the past Luke Skywalker didn’t became my favourite character until the second movie, so I figured I had the time to fall in love with them until I saw more.

Nice Me: Look at this one, he’s played by your favourite actor.

Bitter Me: That one is garbage.

Bitter Me: I’ll just wait to see the whole story. Maybe others will do something extra.

Nice Me: Like what? Blow up the Starkiller Base? Risk their life to save friends? Talk to Darth Vader’s helmet?

Bitter Me: Lose a limb.

(Btw, did you notice the advancement of the medical treatment in Last Jedi? The guy gets slashed through the back and wakes up mere days later just fine, other barely gets a scar…

Bitter Me: at least they are consistent with that.)

So, going in to see the Last Jedi, I had open mind, no expectations for the story, because Star Wars - aka the series that always makes it to the top of the lists of biggest plot twists ever - and I knew nothing besides what was shown in the trailer. And yet, I made one mistake. I saw someone’s tweet about how it’s the best Star Wars movie since the Empire…

Bitter Me: …and then I spent first hour trying to understand, where did this guy saw that greatness, because it just wasn’t there.

I’ve got the biggest gripes with the editing, cinematography, and directing in general. You see, this series, however bad the movies were, they at least were visually stunning. They had certain style and flow - despite all the action, there were always slower scenes, a bit more nostalgic, giving you time to soak up the visuals and feel the emotion. Johnson fails at that repeatedly. The edit at the beging is very rushed, the scenes chopped, and set-up of some could’ve been better. Even Ahch-too, which was amazingly shot in previous film, here becomes a more of clustered and claustrophobic set.

Nice Me: But there are some magnificient shots. The admiral Holdo launching into hyperspace - absolutely beautiful. The pretorian guards fight - one of the best lightsabers fights. The Crait scenes with crystals and everything.  

Bitter Me: which just angers me more, because if he’s capable of pulling of shots like that, why the whole movie isn’t equally beautiful???

Nice Me: But the Leia in vacuum scene starts beautiful too. I’m ecstatic that we finally have an undisputed proof that Leia is not only force sensitive, but she actually mastered the use of it. It would have been really interesting to see more of her in the next movie, might she have become a teacher Rey needs...

Nice Me:…but then the latter half of that scene is shot in such a way, it comes of as silly and utterly dumb. The guy is just bad at showing visions.

Nice Me: Breath. Just breath.

Bitter Me: …that one was horribly edited.

Nice Me: But the scene at dark place at AhchToo was impressive…

Bitter Me: …as a trick shot with no substance that leads to nowhere. He could have used some of that creative visuals for the Force Skype scenes, they were edited in such bland manner…

Nice Me: …you’re complaining about that because it reminded you of Alina and Darkling having identical force bond in Grisha, down to the shirtless scene…

Bitter Me:… as bad as that was, Bardugo at least gave a good explanation of how it was possible.

Nice Me: Snoke did it.

Bitter Me: I recognize the narrative need to create such connection between them, I just think it could have been done in a more artistic way visually.

Bitter Me: Rian is praised for the daring and innovative writing of this movie. And yet the main plot can be summed as: they are evacuating the rebel resistance base, escape - but not far, cause they can’t enter hyperspace, so they sneak into evil ship and try to turn off tracking beam, and then seek hidding on a nearby planet. Yep, I’ve never seen a star wars movie with a plot like that.

Bitter Me: So what’s so daring here? destroying all the symbols of the star wars franchise? Making Luke grumpy and acting against his very core?

Bitter Me: Look, I’m not so much against making Luke a space hobo hermit, who no longer wants to train Jedi, it‘s possible to have such turn after you tried and failed. But I have everything against Luke trying to murder Ben, because he’s too powerful and tempted to the dark side. Luke did everything he could to save his father, who was far deeper on the Dark side. Luke was himself tempted by it, and resisted it. Luke would have done everything to save Ben, but he would not draw a lightsaber on him…

Nice Me: But he says it was a flitting feeling, just a moment of weakness, he regrets deeply…

Bitter Me: What exactly young Ben Solo had done to lead Luke to even consider such an act? We are only told the dark side was rising in him, and that’s sounds vague as hell.

Look, The Star Wars at it’s core were a story about hope - that there’s good even in a bad person, about redemption, and unwavering familial love. Luke was the embodiment of that, and that scene goes directly against it.

If he so insist on having such a drastic turn for Luke, he should’ve made us understand, how did it happen. We should’ve seen more of young Ben Solo, and their dynamic prior to the break. It would serve both their characters and story overall better than this cheap shot for the shock value, so we, like Rey, would cry: You have created Kylo Ren???

But, honestly, if Rian is oh-so-clever and daring writer, he could’ve come up with a better, more complex backstory for Luke and Ben’s breakdown.

Bitter Me: and besides Luke’s arc here? The big lesson he learns? „the real great master let’s his students grow beyond him.” That’s such a simple one, so obvious, it’s dumb and annoying, not worthy to be Luke’s final arc. He was wiser than that. Luke was never about being great and powerful, he rejected offers to became such through dark side, he left his jedi training because his friends were more important to him. Why would he be afraid of his student becoming more powerful than him?

Nice Me: But Luke is great. Like when he says „what do you expect me to do? show up and wave my lightsaber, and they will all run off scared?”, he might be mocking the heroic ways and everyone’s expectations, but if you look back, he achieved his biggest win in the Original Trilogy by tossing asside the lightsaber and refusing to fight.

Bitter Me: …and then he goes and does excatly, what he mocked: shows up, wave the lightsaber and scare off the pesky First Order.

Nice Me: And it was EPIC! And the shoulder brush! hilarious!

Bitter Me: yeah, yeah. Btw, was that their first meeting since Luke tried to murder Ben? so he just like that, shows up, mocks Kylo’s powerlessness, fights him and then promises to forceghost hunt him for eternity?

Nice Me: What do you want him to do?

Bitter Me: …I don’t know, APOLOGIZE for trying to murder him?

Nice Me: fine, but this is still about redemption and love and hope. Rose says: That’s how we’re gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love. It’s a great quote.

Bitter Me: Then who is saving Kylo? whose there left to love him? Rey, walking off on him, closing door on him? Leia, giving up on him, saying we need to kill him? What mother would say something like that? Leia would say something like that? The princess who was always compassionate, and hugging everyone around? Who spent all the previous film insisting on bringing Ben back?

Nice Me: She says it in a tone that suggests she’s not believing it herself. like she’s trying to convince herself, because others expect that of her, because he’s a threat to them all. And Luke counters it immedietly.

Bitter Me: …It’s still there.

Nice Me: …and there’s still third movie. The story is in progress.

Nice Me: At least Snoke is dead. That was GREAT. He always felt like this unnecessary ouside evil force, that people can conveniently blame for all the bad things done, just kill him and everythings gonna be bright and shiny again. By removing him so early, they made way and time to explore more complex evil inside us, err, characters, or harder to spot like the riches benefiting from the ongoing war. That’s a nice storytelling turn.

Nice Me: And Rey as a random nobody is a joy for my heart, because I’m a bit done with Chosen One trope, where hero’s been destinated for heroics on the qualms of being born a prince or noble or someone powerful. I’ve had hard times connecting with such characters, because I myself never felt born special.

(Bitter Me: Then how did you end up liking Luke, the very icon of Chosen One trope?

Nice Me: Loss of the limb.)

Bitter Me: okay, but that was only told to us, just like Rey’s vision of Kylo’s future. Told, not shown. I mean, given how bad Rian is at visions, it would be cringey, but still it’s a movie, use the visuals to convey the information. Not everything needs to be telegraphed, did we really need that guy liking the rocks on Crait to know it’s salt? Who cares it’s salt? That was distracting.

Nice Me: …that was to bring the attention to the footprint…

Bitter Me: …the big zoom on it did that just fine. The joke was unnecesary.

Bitter Me: Actually half the jokes were unnecessary. The humour was crude, often misplaced and under cutting the drama of the scenes. They say it was needed to balance out the dark themes this movie deals with, but in my opinion the previous movies dealt with the same dark drama, and yet used humour in a less forced nor cynical way. Some say it felt more like a Marvel movie, and true, that’s how it felt.

Nice Me:…but you loved Thor Ragnarok - for it’s humour exactly.

Bitter Me: one, Thor used humour with better placement and sense of purpose, didn’t try to undercut the emotional impact of the scenes with it. Two, it was a Marvel movie - you expect such humour, because that’s their style. Going to the Star Wars you expect Star Wars - great visuals, action scenes, emotions, feelings, not disgusting alien cow. It’s anti-climatic.

Besides, why are we so ashemed of pure emotions and drama, that we need to undercut it with gags and jokes? why there must be a wink, „yeah, we did this serious scene, but we’re not sure we got it good enough, people might mock us for it, better mock ourselves first.” For gods sake, dare to be honest. If it’s serious, heroic, epic, let it be such!

Nice Me: The latter half of the movie was great, tho. Rey using force in non-combat way to move rocks and save friends, nice way to turn joke around into something beautiful. All of them coming together on Millenium Falcon board. Luke’s death with the suns setting, making nice parallel to the sunset at Tatooine long ago at the begining of his journey. That last scene about the power of storytelling, I cried a little, it was so moving…

Bitter Me: … the storytelling about what? Self-righteous jedi deciding who is worthy of forgivness or chance for redemption, and who to finish off while they’re still a kid and asleep? About mothers giving up on their sons? About destroying everything that once was sacred, stripping it of the value? It’s all clever writting, but without understanding the soul of the Star Wars, without keeping it’s core sacred, it came of shallow.

Nice Me: shhh, calm down. It’s just a movie.

Bitter Me: How did we come to the Star Wars being just a movie? just a story? quite ironic, in the context of that ending scene.

Magic is gone.

Nice Me: Come on, Let’s watch it again, maybe you’ll like it better. There’s a cute orange murderball...

Bitter Me: …and my fave actor gets trashed around. Fine, let’s watch it again.

[dorothydelgadillo]

3 Reasons I Used to Hate Wix.com for Business: What & Why That's Changed

I have a confession to make. Sometimes things evolve in extraordinary ways and you have to eat your words.

Back in 2013, I was two years into my inbound design career.

At that point, I was just starting to come into my own with not only designing for the inbound world, but building websites that were turn-key for business owners.

That feeling of being able to design a great looking, conversion-driving site and then empowering my client with the ability to use and maintain the site was second to none.

It was where these projects were starting that was so concerning.

Time and time again, I met with business owners who had attempted to build a site themselves and then received absolutely no return on effort.

The one commonality? “I built it on Wix.com.”

So, I went on a bit of a blogging rampage. I wrote an article that was straight from the heart and touched on every major pain point my clients were feeling, the same ones I was correcting.

It went totally nuts. Chances are if you are here now, you’ve read that original article --But, I’m here to set the record straight.

It’s 2019. Things in the marketing world have changed a little in the last six years.

Wix.com has changed, for the better.

1. SEO

My single biggest gripe back in the day were the results (or lack thereof) that Wix.com users were seeing on the platform. A lot of this was due to SEO.

Back in 2013, Wix.com was extremely limiting in terms of what it could offer users in terms of education and implementation of an SEO strategy.

The biggest disadvantage was the inability to control simple things like URL structures, but things have changed dramatically. Due in large part to user feedback, which deserves kudos in its own right!

New Tools & Plugins

Wix.com now offers Wix SEO Wiz, which is comparable in nature to a plugin like Yoast for WordPress.

Not only does this new tool provide a step-by-step guide for users to improve their ranking on Google, but more importantly teaches the average website builder a go-go the importance of these actions. Now, that’s pretty damn inboundy.

Wix SEO Wiz helps users create a personalized plan for their unique site by suggesting keywords and helping optimize a site based on location.

If a user is extremely green to SEO, they even provide a checklist tool to alert the user if crucial steps have been missed.

This is a huge win!

Better yet, they are offering third-party apps in the Wix App Market.

These can make your site’s SEO backend as simple or as complicated as you like based on your level of expertise.

The level of complexity may be dependent on how deep your pockets run, but the possibility remains there.

Now, the catch here is that some are pay to play. You can do a lot with a site for the right price, but that is true on any platform.

URL Structures

This used to be my single biggest gripe.

Prior to 2016, Wix.com website URLs included a hashbang (#) which was being served through javascript and at the time was not readable by search engines.

Even more troubling, at the time, all “pages” were canonical and simply tabs of the homepage, which did not allow them to rank on their own.

Yikes.

Fortunately, in 2016, Wix.com heard its users loud and clear.

They removed the hashbang from their URLs, providing users with clean (user and search friendly URLs that improve the usability and accessibility of a website by being immediately meaningful and representative of the content on a page) URLs and complete control over them.

Inner page URLs are completely clean and parameter-free. HUGE.

In the same spirit of providing the user with the ultimate control, pages were released from self-canonicalization. Although, if you know how to use canonical URLs responsibly, the option is there.

Prior to these recent tool improvements, Wix used rel=canonical tags on pages other than the homepage.

These tags told search engines that every page on your site was simply a duplicate of the home page. Obviously, that has some serious SEO implications when it comes to duplicate content.

Having released pages from self-canonicalization, users can responsibly use canonicalization, when necessary, to prevent Google from assuming content is a duplicate when in fact, it is not.

2. Site Ownership

2013 me used to get really upset about this. Actually, 2019 is equally as passionate about this.

As a designer, I, of course, want my designs to uphold their integrity by never, ever having an untrained hand touch them.

While sadly, this isn’t realistic, I still stand firm that every single website owner should be just that, the sole owner of their website. In fact, they should even go so far as to be empowered to use and maintain it. Gasp!

This was one of my biggest challenges with the Wix free website promise in 2013.

Unless you were willing to pay to play, your website wasn’t owned by you meaning your content and assets weren’t yours for the taking. Once committing, you were stuck where you were unless you were willing to start over from scratch.  

This is pretty scary. Your content on the web wasn’t yours, that web property was owned by someone else. It’s equivalent to having the ability to decorate a house, but at the end of the day it really isn’t yours.

This still isn't an uncommon practice, so despite the website builder you are using, I would be sure you are reading up on the facts of domain and site ownership before putting all of your eggs in one basket (host).

Today, Wix has taken a hard look at their site ownership policies and has updated them to be user and customer-centric. They even have a snazzy interface that breaks it down for you.

The platform has now taken a clear stance on site ownership, one that makes me feel much more comfortable than it did six years ago.

They note the differences in who is considered the owner between free and premium sites, and they are completely transparent with the user on how site ownership is determined.

Spoiler alert: in both cases (free and premium), it isn’t Wix!

No matter which builder or platform you choose to design and/or host your website, always, always have control over your site and your content.

3. Mobile Sites

It’s not news to anyone that the mobile revolution is here and it isn’t changing anytime soon. If your site isn’t responsive or optimized for mobile, you’re more than just a little behind.

Back in 2013, responsive websites were just starting to become non-negotiable, but, there was another option, that just wasn’t cutting it -- the mobile site.

Mobile sites were sites that were completely separated from their desktop counterparts. They were optimized to display only the most relevant content to a user on mobile.  This is what Wix relied on at the time and, in most cases, these sites were a total flop.

They were too difficult to maintain next to a desktop site and they weren’t providing the user with a seamless experience from desktop to mobile.

Wix has since ditched the mobile site in favor of the industry standard responsive website.

What’s really unique is the experience they are providing their customers having built an entirely separate mobile site editor.

Now, this shouldn’t be misinterpreted or confused with a separate mobile site. The editor simply provides users with an interface that allows you to refine site aesthetics based on device size.

So, this is the real hard part.

Even as a seasoned web designer, it’s hard to envision how every single element on a site will break down once it starts responding to devices.

While it’s impossible to view a website on every device in existence, this editor provides users with the ability to edit elements that seem a little “off” beyond the traditional mobile breakpoints.

Even Photoshop doesn’t let you do that!

Once you create a site, this mobile editor is automatically generated and fully built into the platform. It isn’t an additional add-on and it isn’t anything you have to activate.

The really nice thing here is that when you make a change in the desktop editor, the content change is reflected on the mobile site.

As well as vice-versa. So, the user doesn't have to maintain two sites, but still understands the visual complexities of each.

Wix is allowing users to create the most consistent experience possible for the end-user. This results in a site that not only looks great across devices, but also establishes some serious credibility.

No matter how large or small your business, or your web team, you can create a top notch experience for an end-user that is totally device agnostic. That’s powerful.

What’s New With Wix?

So, here is where I am really going to blow 2013 me out of the water.

I used to cringe every time a Wix commercial interrupted my regularly scheduled televised event. It was a slap in the face to me, a professional web designer, always touting that anyone could build a website and it’s 100% free!

Well yes, that is true.

Anyone can build a website for no cost at all on Wix, but that doesn't mean it’s going to turn out effective, nor does that mean that person should be creating said websites.

But I’ve matured. And so has Wix.

Wix has seen us, professionals. They heard us and they developed a product that would appeal to all of our needs as creatives.

Wix Code is a product aimed at professional web designers and developers.

Their platform has some serious strengths for the everyman, so, why not take advantage of a kick-ass platform, while giving the professional community the ability to work with traditional methods of design and code? It’s a win-win, right?

Wix knows it’s up against other builders, but it’s also up against the open-source platforms the professional crowd knows and loves (i.e: WordPress).

Wix Code is their response.

Straight from the Wix Code landing page:

“Wix Code makes it easy to build web applications and robust websites. It’s serverless, hassle-free coding. Set up database collections, create content rich websites, add custom forms and change site behavior with our APIs. All built with the stunning visual components of the Wix Editor. Plus, anything you create is SEO compatible.”

It’s growing more sophisticated every day as more professionals are providing feedback that is moving the platform forward.

Wix Code gives the professional community total control, while providing users with the same comfortable interface they are used to.

It’s a major win for a platform that traditionally positions itself toward the everyman. Maybe we’ll all live in harmony yet!

So yeah, actually anyone can do it!

So, Would I Use Wix to Build a Client Website?

So, to a degree, I need to eat a little crow.

To reasonably defend myself, things were different six years ago.

Website builders were really just starting to become accessible, and hey...we’ve all had to learn a thing or two after a couple of harsh feedback sessions. Wix was no different.

However, they listened, intently, to articles like mine and were able to innovate their product for the better.

Today, I’d be willing to try Wix with my team -- but, I do still have some questions.

Before I would recommend this platform to a client, I would want to get some current user feedback on how much a Wix website costs to be completely custom-designed and developed (with Wix Code) with the appropriate add-ons to fully optimize the site for the user (the client using the backend of the site).

I’d then weigh this cost against platforms I know to be tried and true, for instance, HubSpot and WordPress.

To take it even further, I’m curious to understand how Wix integrates with lead generation tools and platforms like HubSpot. Are they worth the cost and the technical integrations to use in tandem? Or will one always outweigh the other?

Is there truly an advantage to the dual system? Or, does Wix have a response to the all-in-one marketing platform in the works? Or, is this simply possible with addons from the Wix App Market?

And, regardless of the advancements made to the platform, you also have to keep in mind that a tool is not a replacement for a strategy.

Despite the platform you choose to build on, a site isn’t going to be successful without a well thought out strategy and roadmap for execution.

Whether it is Wix, WordPress, HubSpot, or otherwise, you need to start with a well-thought-out website strategy if your website is going to be a success.

from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/wix.com-for-business