#hate and violence!!1!

[inkskinned]

i'm a little afraid to go to pride this year. many of us are, a little. sitting around our tapas and video games, the silence that hangs over the discord server. it feels different, we say.

we're privileged. the community that came before us laid the groundwork so i could be raised in a different world, and i will never forget their sacrifices and dedication. they gave us this: a pride that feels like community and celebration and joy. i remember the first few times i went to a queer event - i'd been raised so catholic. feeling safe like that, for the first time... it saved my life. i go to pride to celebrate that feeling - my people, laughing. out in the sun, the way we couldn't have been even 25 years ago. that feeling: no wonder we call it "pride."

who am i to be afraid anyway. there are parts of the world where people are doing much better work than i am. but it's just: i felt at home there, you know? and this year feels different. we are waiting on the dam to break. last year, at boston pride, there was a whole gaggle of sign-holders shouting about jesus. you walk around them and try not to let it get to you.

this year, i'm going to DC's pride with my girlfriend. google sends me concerns about if it's safe to exist in trump's america, if World Pride is a bigass target on all of us. every article uses the words "safety concerns" many, many times. three days ago i witnessed a shooting.

even straight people keep telling me - people are weird lately. sometimes we blame it on Covid and sometimes we blame it on the full moon. but i do remember a time before this, right. it's not just that people are more comfortable being rude. it's this strange, outwards violence. a comfort in being cruel.

it's a big hole to fall down anyway. it's not like they're going to do anything to make pride safe, not really. i don't want a police presence as the solution. and what if this is just fearmongering! what if this is just to get us to stop attending our own events! what if everything is actually fine, and i'm just freaked out by the stated intentions of our president!

and what if i'm just listening to things that are being said. what if i'm weighing the shape and size of this america accurately.

my mother calls me. she's been getting the articles too. i assure her i'll be careful, but i put the phone down and stare at it. i'm going to go to pride. other people made it safe for me, it is my duty and my honor to show up for my community. the only thing we've ever had was each other. it was always an act of bravery. being ourselves is brave.

but i am afraid. i lay out my outfit and i kiss my girlfriend. i cut my nails and clean up my undercut. i hold her hand and hang the sunset flag. the sound of this america feels different. like a volcano trembling. i will love her and i will love being queer and i will sing over the noise of it.

but ... still. in the back of my mind. that feeling, like something terrible has been shifted. like somewhere in the night - they remembered we're different.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

POV. You’re a foot soldier stationed at Heaven’s gate and the sexual tension between your boss and his second in command is getting weirdly high these days for some reason

Continuation of Paradise Lost soldier Mud

Doodling more of these guys. They hate each other so much, they should kiss about it <3

[cobra-creampuff]

the fact that they made it illegal to make ads louder than programs on tv in 2010 but haven't updated it to apply the same regulation to streaming. who do i have to call.

[best-of-theworst]

I'm not a thief.

I'm a honorable member of society.

I take from the rich and give to the poor.

The poor being me.

[dawntread]

your blood is not even worth spilling.

[tsunauticus]

Hey guys I know we’re talking about how Cait leaving Vi reflects Vi leaving Jinx in season 1

The parallels are clearly there, but to me, it also reminds me of a pattern within Vi’s story.

Any time that she “left” someone, she’s kept away from them by force.

When Vi leaves Vander and her group at The Last Drop, Vander locks her in the basement. She’s physically trapped, unable to stop him or save him. While he’s carried away, and she can only assume by the blood splatter on the window that he’s dead

When Jinx’s monkey bomb goes off, Vi is trapped under the rubble but can clearly see Mylo and Claggor

Then once she sees the monkey head, she can only assume Powder/Jinx is under there too

Then of course, Vi is forcefully taken away from Powder/Jinx when Marcus puts her in Stillwater

For 6 years.

And once she’s let out, she finally reunites with her sister, is finally able to make right all the times she couldn’t be there to protect her family

Until she’s knocked out by the Firelights and taken away from Jinx

She’s a character whose physical prowess is highlighted; who breaks traitors’ jaws in prison, who wipes the floor with Silco’s shimmer-drugged mechs, and wins a fight by throwing Sevika into the jukebox.

And yet, for a character that is so strong, every time she loses someone, it’s because she’s trapped beyond her physical capabilities.

She’s strong, but to herself, she’s not strong enough to save the people she loves.

[finnsblood]

back with my hot takes about oh beomseok that shouldn’t really be hot takes at all: i’m actually really satisfied with beomseoks ending. no, not because he didnt face any legal repercussions, (we’ll get back to that. but just know i’m not entirely partial to him) it’s because the whole ending of his arc continues the cycle of abuse.

it’s been said before, by the lovely people of the whc fandom, but sieun intentionally not hurting beomseok was the worst punshiment sieun couldve gave him. along with the legal repercussions - his father wouldn’t have ever let him be in prison, because that would jeopardize his reputation, right? - but also it was to keep beomseok in control. in line. he single-handedly made sure, indirect or not, that beomseok never had someone to turn to into the end. he essentially killed his own best friend due to trauma and abuse and jealousy and feeling so alien and othered & so many many more reasons. the only person who could’ve come close to truly, genuinely understanding him, with beomseoks abuse and his suffering mirrored in his eyes - is gone. he made him go away. he killed his best friend, sieun, just as he killed suho; and he even killed himself, and he even killed what brought him belonging and hope and happiness for the first time in his life.

and that guilt will haunt him for the rest of his life. tell me, what does a person who lived a life of abuse and suffering all as consequence for being alien, othered, do when faced with the fact they don’t face any consequences for something they did truly, and utterly, bad? they seek it for themselves. it continues the cycle of abuse and self destruction that beomseok seems to be doomed to. i wouldn’t be surprised if in whc3 that hes either dead, depressed and suicidal, or just straight up self harming. it’s what for some, makes his character so sad, and for some, makes his ending so satisfying. it’s the perfect consequence for him.

[f1issmy1d]

just know that if max says “i don’t need to say anything about it” it was probably all his fault and george WILL be saying something about it

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

I think Peri and Valter have different reputations among the fandom just because of how they're regarded in game. With Valter, everyone fuckin hates this guy, everyone thinks he's a piece of shit and eventually you get to cave in his skull with Cormag's Lance/Eirika's sword. Compared to Lyon he's a decidely uncomplicated to villain, and even compared to Caelach he's obviously insane, but that's intentional. He's a hate sink, he's the guy you aspire to beat the shit out of all the while he tries to make everything else worse.

Meanwhile with Peri you just kinda gotta deal with her on Conquest route, and she explicitly makes everyone associated with her look like a bigger piece of shit by virtue of not being horrified by her. Like her support with Xander is cute and in a vacuum I like it a lot, but Peri, you aren't being yelled at because you're a country bumpkin, you're getting yelled at because you admitted to slaughtering your servants and attempted to do the same to Felicia.

This is even in comparison to someone like Lifis, where he's intended to show how desperate Lief is for allies, and even with that in mind you can just choose to kill him

isnt peri meant to make everyone around her look worse?

[laurellala-comics]

A couple of years ago I made a few comics about an alien shapeshifter named Shiv that tried to look as hot as possible to distract everyone around him from how out of place he was. It worked on everyone except his butch lesbian coworker who hated his guts and kept pointing out his weird behavior (it's ok, they become besties later). Here's some snippets from that:

other highlights from this comic:

Shiv was an actor who played an alien on a tv show for children that was basically The Wiggles in space. It was called Silly Space Squad (or SSS pronounced like a snake sound)

Shiv understood conceptually that some people were more attractive than others but didn't really get it on a personal level (aro ace king), so he moved in with 3 male models so that he could study them intently and copy how they looked

Vampires were also real in this universe, but this was glossed over because the alien thing was more important to the plot

[catchascatchcn]

charles leclerc. decimate that little bitch

[beneath-the-moon-and-me]

reading early reviews of tlou season 2 and I'm pretty confident history is going to repeat itself (I absolutely called it)

[constantvariations]

Blake literally watches Fennec rush at Ghira and doesn't call out to warn him that the platform will fall once she pulls Ghira out from under it

So when Ilia tries to murder your parents, she's still capable of redemption, but no one else is worth trying to save? Or are you only willing to extend the effort if girl make sad face :(

[fruityscience]

um. yuri.

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Given: Film + On the Other Hand

I'm going to go with the CR watch order, which has film, then OVA, for whatever that's worth continuity wise

Weel weel weel, who is Kaji kissing in the car? This man is the most romantically busy of anyone on this show!!! Not every bisexual has romantic tension with everyone around them, but Kaji definitely does

"She paid you?" "Wait, no. Don't get the wrong idea. This is just her thing." That does NOT explain anything Kaji omg

"It's not that you've actually calmed down. You just don't do stuff like that in front of Haruki-san, right?" Astute observation, Mafuyu. I'm only one minute into this movie and already I don't know what to make of the dynamics here. Kaji, King of Having A Complicated Romantic Life

"Ugetsu was the first genius that I ever encountered." Are we finally gonna get an answer about what the hell's going on between Kaji and his roommate!!

Haruki is the only one holding the band's admin together LOL

"Don't [the comments] make you guys happy?" "To be honest..." "I'm ecstatic." "Same." Awww Mafuyu's a great influence on this band's emotional honesty

"The second is that I think Kaji-san is the same as me." Gay? Neurodivergent? Traumatized? Only able to process his emotions through music? Be more specific, Mafuyu

"I'm back in Japan for the first time in ages, and you're in bed before me? Seriously?" EXPLAIN YOUR DYNAMIC, UGETSU

Oh they are roommates who fuck, but are not together, and still date other people, even though Kaji still has feelings for Ugetsu. That IS complicated!!!

Also, Mafuyu just clarified, "same as me" as in, "In love with someone you can't replace," which is one way to put it!

"Yeah, that sucked." Ugetsu does not care about the fragile psyche of teenagers. A hater to his core

"Being average at that school means you're already super smart!" I don't know if I buy that logic, Haruki

"I was just thinking that [being a jack of all trades] must be hard sometimes." "You're the peacemaker. That's why everyone loves you." Haruki making sincere emotional observations while Kaji is just using this as an opportunity to flirt LOL

"Um, Ugetsu-san, are you and Kaji-san..." "Oh, sleeping together? We're not exactly together anymore." Wow, I don't know if I expected Mafuyu to get a real explanation

"Around the time we graduated high school and I started working as a violinist, I suddenly realized... that we were suffocating each other more than anything else in this world." I'm guessing this was a YOU problem, Ugetsu

"Why did you tell me all this?" [Ugetsu laughs] "Well, I don't have any friends." Perhaps, Ugetsu, it has to do with your sinister aura and off-putting personality

"I love Akihiko to death, and even though I dumped him, I haven't been able to let go. I've been trying to get rid of him at every opportunity, but that still hasn't worked out either. All this time... I've been waiting for him to finally leave me." At least they're aware of how toxic and dysfunctional they are???? LOL

The text kicking Kaji out for the night. Absolutely brutal after the monologue about love

HGJHGKHGKH @ KAJI ANSWERING HARUKI'S PHONE CALL MID-BLOWJOB? THIS FILM IS SO MUCH MORE EMOTIONALLY EXTREME THAN ITS PREDECESSOR

Yatake said: Consider leaving your Bandmate Situationship in favour of being in my band, with your ex-girlfriend

"This is a love song. He's a genius. As the sound spreads, you can feel the presence of a thousand musical pieces behind it. He actually put in the work and listened to them. Just calling him a genius is misleading." Awwww, I love how much Haruki and Kaji admire their high school bandmates, even if it is with an aura of self-loathing

Oh, speaking of sinister auras, I do NOT like what's going on with Kaji. Why are you fistfighting your ex???

"You're in love with me, but you're gonna run away?" DERANGED!

"I told you I'd do anything. In the end, it was basically consensual." WAS IT? THAT WAS SO FUCKED UP AND WEIRD. I HATED THAT

"I'm pretty exhausted since you rejected me." Interesting way to phrase what occured, Haruki?????

This is the second time Kaji shutting someone's feelings down has resulted in them getting an impulse haircut. This man is a threat to long hair everywhere

Also I don't even want to unpack the place to sleep thing. Eep!

"Look. I'm actually mad here." "Sorry-" "I'm saying it pisses me off even more when you apologize to me. Just go home." Good for Haruki for telling Kaji to get lost

"I'm sorry. Please help me." Apparently it's okay to be intimate with someone who is barely consenting (at best) if you (Kaji) have Pathetic Man Disease

"A band would never work with four geniuses. Someone has to be there to support them, and we need you." In the interest of continuing this movie, I will set aside what happened with Kaji and Haruki for now. This dialogue is what I liked about Kaji for the past 11 episodes

"And that was the start of our bizarre life together." The movie is also gonna breeze past it, I guess

"We're pretty much done. More like I was basically a friend with benefits and a freeloader. We weren't technically dating." Good for Kaji for explaining his Toxic Situationship

Uenoyama has high expectations for Mafuyu's songwriting abilities considering the only time he's ever written lyrics was live on stage, stream-of-consciousness. Can't do that every time!!

"You think like a 20-year-old college student." Isn't he, or is that the joke, LOL?

Awwww, Kaji and Haruki enjoy each other's company so much they walked together from 3am until daytime

"I came here to see you, Ugetsu-san." "Me?!" Ugetsu is shocked anyone would seek out his company

I guess Ugetsu helped Mafuyu figure out what he wanted to write!

"I'm leaving this place." A long overdue declaration from Kaji to Ugetsu

Ghkjghkjgh the rest of the band just trying to network at a contest while Kaji and Ugetsu have a really intense confrontation

"But it's hard watching you two sometimes." "Huh?" "Because, I mean... You're in love with Kaji-san, right?" [Mafuyu voice] They hate me for serving honesty and an inability to read the room

Kaji tellling Haruki "I'm home"/"Tadaima" which has been the bookends of all his interactions with Ugetsu!! That's growth baby

[Kaji, whispering] "Don't go right now. Stay right here with me." I think Haruki and Kaji have finally found each other at the same place

"At first, you were like, 'I can't join a band. I'm not thinking about anything. I can't express myself.' You were all hesitant." [Uenoyama blushes] "Come here." [Mafuyu hugs him] "Don't worry. You're way cooler than anyone else." Speaking of healthy communication, as per usual, Uenoyama and Mafuyu are overachieving for their age bracket by being very cute and stable and supportive and full of character development

Also I love love love that Uenoyama blushes in advance of initiating physical affection. He's so sweet

KHGKHGKHG not Ugetsu framing his anger at Kaji leaving him as anger at Kaji quitting the violin. Get some therapy, babygirl

"How long has it been since I got goosebumps like this? When did I start hating music?" Now it's Kaji's turn to be actively processing trauma on stage

Ohhhhhh, so Ugetsu's internal comment about wasted talent was not necessarily for Mafuyu, but for Kaji

[Ugetsu, internally] "So he's the one." Ugetsu is also realizing that Haruki is the person who opened up Kaji's heart enough to care about music again

"Maybe something will remain. Even if we can never be the same again... Even if we go somewhere far away... I hope at least the music will remain." This is a surprisingly healthy perspective from Ugetsu

"Playing the drums is fun, but everything I poured into the violin isn't a lie!" "What the hell? So you are breaking up with me." Dump me but in a whimsical way through music metaphors

Turns out, I AM willing to forgive Ugetsu because he has Pathetic Man Disease. The tears got me:

Mafuyu, in Ugetsu's thoughts: It'll be alright.

Ugetsu, probably still not knowing Mafuyu's name: Thank you, random teen vocalist prodigy who helped me process my feelings about the demise of my toxic situationship! You're my only friend

"You've got a place to stay?" It's probably a good thing if Kaji doesn't start his next relationship while still relying on that person for housing

"After all that, we failed in the last stage of judging." That's a realistic contest result, considering generally the music industry and that they've been actively fighting inner demons the whole time they've been a band

"Akihiko changed. And I ended up imagining who could've been the one to change him." Hey Haruki, it's YOU, dumbass

"I ended up breaking up with Ugetsu, the guy I was in love with." At least now we're making things as clear as possible

OMG @ Kaji becoming passionate about school and music, and reconciling with his parents, all in the interest of love having made him better. He's Danny from Grease!

"The reason I decided to make changes in my life was because... I wanted to become a man worthy of your love!" I told you Kaji was Danny from Grease! Kaji said: I consider having my life together a prerequisite to dating you, Haruki

I do enjoy how they are embarrassed to death by their own romantic interactions. Realistic, subscribed

Also, this band is in shambles, none of them can resist dating each other

"Haruki. May I touch you?" [Tearfully] "Sure." [Kaji hugs Haruki] "I love you. Please go out with me." They wanted to drive home that Kaji respects boundaries (now)

In all seriousness, I am having a hard time accepting or rooting for this couple after the initial physical scene. I know Haruki cited consent, but it doesn't sit right with me. Way to undo 11 episodes of investment in your dynamic, and in Kaji. Honestly, if I'd known it was coming, I might've skipped this film. C'est la vie

I like the mid-credits flashes to the in-between scenes, like Uenoyama and Mafuyu going to the festival, Haruki getting his hair cut, Uenoyama meeting Hiiragi. Good stuff!

"Akihiko? Let's go home." HGKHGKGH Haruki's response to the question, 'Will you go out with me?' being 'Move in with me'

OVA: Given - On the Other Hand

"I mean, why do we gotta come to school when we're done with our first term? How stupid is that." "It's because we're stupid that we're here, moron." Ueki has a sick-burn at the ready for the Remedial School Squad

With the remedial classes, I suppose we're going to see what Uenoyama and Mafuyu were up to during the length of the film

"Mafuyu has attached himself to Kaji-san, who has the widest range of musical experience out of all of us." All other things aside, I do like this music learning dynamic

Uenoyama wanting to start a petty fight with his boyfriend (real) but then realizing his boyfriend has Petty Fight Trauma

"We're in the classroom." "Throw me a bone here." By which Uenoyama meant, 🌸 Kiss me in the classroom please 🌸 And Mafuyu caved immediately

"You better watch that pointer finger of yours, 'cause I might break it." Hahaha, I love Mafuyu's semi-hostile relationship with Hiiragi

"Hurry up and get together with Shizu-chan already." Hahaha, I love that no one in Mafuyu's social circle is straight

HAHAHAHA Uenoyama complimenting Haruki, and Kaji and Mafuyu sidling up for their turn to get praised

[Mafuyu tsks when Uenoyama doesn't praise him] "Don't take an attitude with me." Their disagreements are SO funny, 10/10. I love every benignly quarrelsome dynamic

[Uenoyama, internally] "Ulterior motives... probably aren't part of this! But is this really okay? We good? Wait, is what good?" Hehhehe I love Uenoyama's stream of consciousness monologuing, he's so silly

[Uenoyama, internally, having a sleepover with Mafuyu] "It's not like I don't think about what I actually want to do with him. I do, but..." Uenoyama processing his lustful thoughts may actually lead to gay sex

Mafuyu said, looking pitifully at his current boyfriend's clock: My dead boyfriend had a clock once

"I don't know much about your past, but stop looking like you're going to cry when you're with me." That's a tall order for someone with boyfriend trauma 11-feet-deep, Uenoyama

We've more or less confirmed by this clock scene (the same clock that was shown in the end credits of the movie) that this OVA is all the Uenoyama scenes that were cut from film for time. I love the extended scenes and additional insight

"I want people to see even more of Mafuyu's potential. I think we can still go higher. This is our chance, so I want to go all-in." I repeat: Uenoyama, King of If He Wanted To, He Would

I also love how much all of the band looks to Uenoyama for musical validation and leadership. Natural-born leader <3

Mafuyu dragging Uenoyama to their special stairwell so he can serenade him with a song about how he found love with him again. THEY'RE SO CUTE!!!

"Hearing him sing something like this... made all of my worries and doubts just disappear. He made it so they didn't matter anymore." UENOYAMA <3

"This is Uenoyama-kun. My boyfriend." Mafuyu said: Just so you know, we're not just going to be bandmates in front of my childhood friends, I am not consulting you on this matter, xoxo

HAHAHAHA Uenoyama pointing at Hiiragi trash-talking in shaking anger while looking at Mafuyu, like, 'Let me kill him,' and Mafuyu saying verbatim, "Yeah, no. I get it."

Lmao @ the movie translating "Hai" as "Yes, sir," and the special translating it as, "Thank you very much." Neither feels especially right in context, but I do think "Why so proper?" is a fair way to interpret the response. Maybe, "Affirmative," would be a better interpretation for the initial "Yes," if they're trying to get across the formality of the speech LOL

I guess Hiiragi's trash talk wasn't for naught, they won the contest!

Uenoyama said: I can be annoyed about Hiiragi winning AND comfort my boyfriend at the same time, I can multitask (once again, on brand for the voice of also Megumi Fushiguro, Boy Kisser)

"Don't worry. Your song will get through to people." Uenoyama Best Boyfriend, Champion Hand-Holder <3

"Please allow me to date Haruki-kun!" "Aaaaaaabsolutely not!!" [Uenoyama, internally] "We're finished. This band's gonna fall apart in mid-air." HAHAHAH true. Also. Hypocrite!! HAHAHA

The social dynamics of these anime boybands is what all those K-Pop fans WISH their idols were up to

I know there are two more films (Hiiragi Mix and To the Sea) but I think they might be connected in the ways that these two were. I think the last'll be out this month, which is probably for the best, given (no pun intended) what a harrowing journey the first part of this liveblog was. I am however, compelled to watch them by the power of boybands and Megumi Boy Kisser VA. So, that'll be a future liveblog!

[aubins]

♡ yurikiiiins!

○○○○○ | ATTRACTION ●●●○○ | AFFECTION ●●○○○ | INTEREST ●●●●○ | LOYALTY ●●●●○ | TRUST

“ They call her the Mystical Songstress for a reason. Even I was a little charmed when I was younger. ” An odd shift in his expression, quickly brushed away by a smile. “ I much prefer regular old Dorothea's company to the songstress', though, as long as she's not bugging me to burst into song. ”

Doesn't like recognize like, after all? Yuri just hopes her wings don't end up half as mangled and clipped as his.

send ♡ to see what my muse thinks of yours!

a series of written entries in yuri's journal mentioning dorothea, mostly dated some time between imperial years 1171-1174:

brown eyes, black hair, birthmark on the cheek (thank the goddess—all adrestian men look the same). didn't even buy me dinner and kicked me out right after. not worth it. but i learned there's a spot right outside the opera house where you can hear them singing a little if you really listen. hid in the alley so the guard didn't shoo me off and caught just the end of the show. whoever was singing sang beautifully. i know i wasn't actually in the opera house but it felt like i should give her a standing ovation anyway.

brown eyes, brown hair, balding in the back (sensitive about it, don't mention). took me to dinner then the opera first and paid for it all but hard to tell how wealthy. nice enough guy i guess. no one's taken me to the opera before. the songstress on stage sang beautifully. think it was the same one i heard the other night. wonder what it would be like to get to sing on stage like her.

brown eyes, brown hair, still balding but covered it up with a weird hat this time. he said i sounded just like that songstress from before but i don't think it was even her tonight—didn't sound right but i was too busy to actually look. would've been nice to hear her sing again though. wish i could sing like that.

the records continues for several more pages of the journal in much the same manner. halfway through them, angrily scribbled into a margin:

getting sick of the opera. that songstress is all they talk about. don't look like her don't sound like her but if you can hold a note it's close enough. makes me want to rip out my throat

written into another margin on the next page:

maybe i'll cut my hair shorter

the last entry in the journal for a few years, dated some time in 1174:

rowe. he's some count from faerghus. says he needs an heir and wants to adopt me but we both know it's not true. still a noble's a noble—it'll be cushy enough. he took me to the opera as “farewell present.” wanted to laugh in his face but it's too much work to find another count that would want to adopt me, if he even exists.

that songstress was there. she still sings just as beautifully. apparently they're calling her mystical now. good for her. wonder if mystical's just about as far as you can get from the streets short of being born with a golden spoon.

from a to-do list dated early in the most recent horsebow moon:

ladybird's birthday soon—need to find where i hide those coupons and follow up on that bracelet. wonder if she'd have liked some other kind of jewelry? should ask for another time.