#has made my tolerance SO high (i had 300mg earlier and it's barely anything. i'm still in bed in pain)
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#seriously the like. not having money and not having a therapist and not having a job and feeling terrible unpredictably#and not having friends or family here and not having any reason to leave the house. and being so reliant on weed to function bc it's#the only medication i have access to for my pain and depression/anxiety that works#has made my tolerance SO high (i had 300mg earlier and it's barely anything. i'm still in bed in pain)#is getting so so so expensive. it makes me so scared. when i go without it it's essentially the same as being unmedicated#i wish health care moved any bit faster. and i wish i had a psychiatrist bc my pcp doesn't wanna prescribe more than zoloft#and it's helpful at keeping me from crying all the time but it doesn't give me any other benefit really so i just feel :x always#i feel like time is pressing down on me like a bug being stepped on and i don't have anywhere to run#and i feel frustrated because im being held in place by pain/illness/fatigue/etc that i'm struggling so hard to get help for#but no one can see any of the things that are holding me here. so they get mad at me and frustrated that i'm struggling so much#idk what to do. i feel like i'm going to alienate everyone i depend on because i can't contribute and can't get answers for them#ahhhhh i wish i had chronically ill friends lol i'm just so lonely all the time i feel less than human TBH
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