#harry doing something impulsive and stupid

[bythepen98]

Doodles || Golden trio (ft. Snape)

No matter how many bashing fics I read (and I really do enjoy those sgshsn), these three will always be among my favorite friendships in fiction. Also wanted to include good ol Snape bc I can and I adore him.

I see their dynamic as very sibling-coded, very platonic soulmate type even. They're literally each other's ride or dies and I'm not kidding when I say that I wish I had that for myself :(

Also, redrawing movie scenes is easier than having to come up with original ideas. I might do that more often.

[hayleythecannibal]

Twisted Minds incorrect Quotes (this will be out of pocket)

Hannibal: Are you a painting? Y/N: What-? Hannibal: Because I want to pin you to a wall. Will: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG THEM OR SOMETHING-

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Y/N: Will, I’m afraid. Will: Just stay close to Hannibal. Y/N: That's why I’m afraid.

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Y/N: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted. Hannibal: I’m “a couple of things”. Will: I’m “got distracted”.

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Y/N: I like your top, Will! Hannibal: I have a name, you know. Will: sighs Why. Why are you like this.

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Hannibal: So, what is Y/N to you? Alana: The reason I wake up every morning. Hannibal: …That’s adorable. Y/N earlier that morning, barging into Alana′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

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Jack: Who do we know that has handcuffs? Y/N: Well Will, Hannibal and I- Will: elbows Y/N Y/N: …wouldn't know. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Will: Okay, but what is updog? Hannibal: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Jack: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Alana: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Abigail: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Y/N: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Jack: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Hannibal: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Will: What’s a henway?? Y/N: Oh, about five pounds.

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Y/N: Dumbest scar stories, go! Will: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Hannibal: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. Jack: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Alana: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Abigail: Abigail: I have emotional scars. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? Will: >:O language Hannibal: Yeah watch your fucking language Jack: OKAY WHO TAUGHT HANNIBAL THE FUCK WORD? Alana: 'The fuck word'. Abigail: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Hannibal: Oh my god they censored it Alana: Say fuck, Abigail. Hannibal: Do it, Abigail. Say fuck. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: We need to distract these guys Will: Leave it to me Will: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Hannibal, Jack, and Alana: Immediately begin arguing Abigail, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: WHY. why did you give Hannibal a KNIFE?! Will: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe. Y/N: Now I feel unsafe! Will: I’m sorry. Will: ... would you like a knife? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Will: You did WHAT– Hannibal: William Snakepeare ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me. Will: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you? Y/N: Yes! Hannibal: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AND THAT CONCLUDES ME DYING AS I MAKE THIS......NOW I HAVE TO GO WRITE CHAPTER 12.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hello, thank you for answering our questions! Often, when I try to find fan fiction with an adult Harry, for some reason the authors prescribe a caricature character from early books for him and write his character from extreme to extreme. Or Harry is soft, gentle, kind, hates violence and constantly forgives his enemies, is not capable of murder and turns a blind eye to alarm bells. And he also whines because of morality (I hurt my abuser, oh, how bad I am!). Or he is aggressive, impulsive and stupid.What traits of Harry's character could change in 10-15 years? Or how will his approach to problem solving change? For example, Harry's anger will become more tamed and deliberate. And also, I always thought that Harry was more focused on gray morality, because he saw the best in the worst people, as well as the worst in the best people. What do you think about it? I really like your posts about Harry's character, magic and mind. You're doing great 🩷🩷🩷

Thank you so much! 😊

Well, I mean, I don't know if I'd say Harry is focused on grey morality, he is a good guy who for the most part believes in justice (sans a few exceptions for people he cares about/really hates). Because in general, he acts according to a pretty clear moral code in his mind. It may not be your moral code, but Harry has one that he doesn't consider grey. I talked about this more here.

And, like, Harry is a forgiving person, but his forgiveness is a bit selective. In general, he believes someone who did something bad, deserves something bad to happen to them in turn but if there's a specific reason for him to sympathize or to believe there's good in that person, he will be willing to offer forgiveness. I mean, he offered Voldemort to try for some remorse. Harry is willing to offer the possibility of forgiveness. But he is no pushover, if he sees he isn't treated back with the same respect, then he isn't going to keep trying. He does not have limitless patience and he has little to no tolerance for other people's shit. So while he can forgive when presented with a reason to do so, he's not someone who'll keep dishing out chances to people who don't deserve it.

As for how I imagine him when older, honestly similar to how he ends the books in terms of morals and worldview, probably. I think he'd get calmer, a lot of his anger is a response to trauma so as he heals with time, he should get less angry, less hypervigilant, and less jumpy. Though, I imagine his temper and vigilance never disappear completely and even in his later years, he'd be, like, sitting at a restaurant and the server would pass just too close behind him and he'd have the urge to pull his wand out and deflect the threat. But it would be an urge and he wouldn't actually do it unless he needs to.

His temper, while he'd have better control of it, wouldn't disappear completely. I can still see a Harry in his 40s or 50s just snapping at someone in anger and shouting at them. If they didn't deserve it he'd feel bad and apologize later, but sometimes, you need to shout off the ear of some stupid ministry person. I think Harry should be allowed to do that, as a treat. But I don't see him ever getting violent in his temper, ever. Shouts and rude, snide comments are the furthest he'd go without consciously deciding violence is necessary (Even if he'd imagine strangling annoying people in his head).

I also think as Harry grows older he'd become more confident. Like, Harry in the books really lacks self-esteem and he has no clue how great he is. I think that although older Harry would still have a somewhat skewered image of himself, he'd be more confident and have a vague understanding that he is smarter and more magically powerful than the average wizard.

Part of the two above sections is that more and more of the sarcastic quips Harry makes in his head will be spoken out loud. We actually see it in the books, that Harry's more externally sassy as the books progress (he says his thoughts aloud more) and I think this trend will continue. Like, I imagine older Harry just says the wildest shit ever on the regular and finds others' reactions funny. Like, he doesn't need to be as worried about public perception as much, because like, "I saved you all twice already, I died for you, what more do you want?" so he'd allow himself to be a bit of a shit when he feels like it, I think.

So an older Harry would be just as witty as the younger Harry, quite funny, calmer than in the books, and more confident. He'd be less impulsive, but just as cable of violence when he deems it necessary (although, he'd probably need it less since he'd have a reputation that does half the work for him from a certain point). Like, as I mentioned in the past I like to think Harry eventually becomes a DADA professor and later headmaster, I kinda imagine students don't mess with him. Not because he ever hurt them (Harry would never) but because he just has that glare, and he looks downright scary when he stares into your soul with these Avada-colored eyes of his. But usually, he's a pretty fun teacher that's all about practical application and I'm sure all his students gush to their parents about how cool Professor Potter is and how he talks shit and laughs with them even though he's the savior of the wizarding world.

(Also Professor Potter is seen drinking in the Three Broomsticks with Head Auror Ron Weasley and the Head of the Being Division in the Ministry Hermione Weasley every Hogsmead weekend (their positions change through the years, I just picked a year at random))

Though, he'd always have a sadness to him, like, he's been through so much and it'll always show, even in subtle ways. I think this would allow him to be very empathetic towards his students.

I'd like to imagine that post-book 7 Harry returns to Deathly Hallows to visit his parents' graves every year. I think, post-war, Harry would visit as many graves as possible of people who died during the battle of Hogwarts on the date of the battle. He'd even visit Tom Riddle's grave if he had one because he'd feel sorry for him.

Like, these are some random thoughts I have about this (sorry I went on my "Harry should've been a professor" rant, just, a lot of my future Harry headcanons are tied to it).

[faerise-fae]

Not really a marauders character but: Tom Riddle #20!

YAPPING WARNING ABOUT ASPD TOM RIDDLE AGAIN

Ok so sorry for taking so long to do this, but my brain crashes every time i try to think about something that isn't obvious or just fucking boring. BUT I REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH YALL SO GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS

The hill I'll die on is that he is an ASPD baddie, tho I bet he would prefer thinking about himself as sociopath, as edgy teens do. It doesn't mean I think he is totally emotionless, i think he is very emotional. Just not empathetic? This man is purely driven by his emotions from the start. Be it fear of death, resentment, and hatred towards Dumbledore or just general anger directed at the stupidity of the wizarding nation. In ASPD it's just that the intensity of expression of those emotions is different. He can look totally put together and like an oasis of peace, but inside planning whatever insanities only he can think of.

Because the thing is, anger issues are not rare in ASPD. ASPD is associated with impulsiveness and violent or risky behaviours, which can result in lashing out in anger. It's just that when you don't have many emotions to begin with, controlling the stronger ones can be difficult.

People have very different headcanons about him in that matter, i see a lot of totally stoic, calculating tom riddle who doesn't have absolutely any emotions and stuff like this, but I really can't see it. My man is a dramatic, cruel, entitled and IMPULSIVE edgelord BUT:

HOT TAKE #1:

Canon Tom Riddle headcanonned himself as fanon Tom Riddle.

He might have thought of himself as emotionless, but he just didn't acknowledge it. Growing up in an unstable environment, he hadn't learned how to stabilize himself.

Because ASPD is partialy caused by genetics, yes. But a very big factor in developing it is childhood and home life. We can agree his was very unstable, he has probably witnessed violence and definitely experienced emotional neglect. ASPD is all about lack of security. Its defence mechanism. That means:

My man just doesn't know how to cope, LMAO. When it was too much even for him to stuff into the back of his brain, he just lashed out. Acting on impulses was his relief from it. Adrenaline from it also helped to mute his feelings.

But at the same time, he just didn't think of himself as unreasonable. "It was never his fault, he was just provoked!" He also didn't feel guilty about causing harm to others because he didn't have any empathetic feelings towards anyone. How can you feel bad about idk, cursing someone if you don't see them as an individual with feelings of their own. Because how could he think about their feelings when he didn't have much of his own to compare and to even comprehend what they feel beside some very shallow understanding. AND BY THAT I DONT MEAN HE DIDNT KNOW HE WAS HURTING PEOPLE AROUND HIM HE WASNT A POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW. HE KNEW, HE JUST DIDNT GET IT SO HE DIDNT CARE. But he obviously knew. So no empathy but more like an educated guess. Masking king. He learnt how emotions worked for other people and used it whenever he saw fit. Pure manipulation.

Because again neglectful caregiving = problems with attachment to people and forming relationships. In the end it's all about him in that aspect. His feelings are always about himself and making himself feel comfortable and stable. He was fond of his friends till they were useful and till he felt good with having them around. He took pride* in gaining their respect and loyalty. He was using them to stroke his ego basically. And was using them in general. For stuff and things.

*HOT TAKE #2:

And here i have my latest hot take: his similarity with Harry in that matter. Harry is a gryffindor with some slytherin traits. And imo Tom, with him being the most slytherin to ever slytherin, his crazy pride and impulsivity is so gryffindor.

So there's that beside how we can all agree he was a liar and manipulator.

[pinkhoneydrop]

Its a Game pt.6

[ A/n ] - Hey everyone here is part 6 i had to cut it a bit short so i could get to the good bits in part 7 that i am currently writing and i also started another multy part story that i think y'all will like!

[ Pairing ] - Harry Styles x Reader!, Dylan O'Brien x Reader!

[ Genre ] -  angst

[ Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 ]

[ Masterlist ]

Harry drove home from seeing you with a million thoughts swimming in his head. Why did he say he loved you? That was fucking stupid. I mean, it is true. He did love you but obviously it was the wrong time. Had he really taken so long to realize your intentions were greater than you let on? He really should have thought about that more. These sequences of events were a product of not needing to think when he was with you. Not seeing you for months then having an awkward encounter with you and then weeks later he pulls up to see you in a parking garage and says he loves you. I mean what the fuck. Who does that? Harry apparently does that now. Gone are his days of confident mystery. Perhaps he should learn to think when he’s near you. To be independent of you. Despite this, he’s regretting the timing of his impulses and now you know he loves you and you still will go home to another man. How was he supposed to process this and now having to see you at the festival? Rehearsal after rehearsal and then a whole weekend of you. Perfect you.

The thoughts consumed his mind the whole drive back to his LA home. The car pulled into his driveway, and he shut the door as he fished for the key to his house in his bag. The welcoming smells of laundry and cleaning products filled his nose with a scrunch. He needed to sort himself out. He used to come home to his NY apartment and smell you. Your vanilla and cinnamon scented perfume. Like cookies fresh out of the oven. Warm and truly inviting the opposite of the chemicals and detergent stinging his nose currently.

The days before the start of rehearsal seemed to drag on. Meeting after meeting and workout sessions in between for both harry and yourself. In total it had been about a week since you asked him to meet you at the garage. Dylan still didn’t know, and you still couldn’t get Harry’s declaration off your mind.

***

“And then he stood there with that fucking smirk of his and was like ‘I Lov youu’ I mean who says that after you just told them why you needed space in the first place.” You punctuated your sentence with a hard smack to a punching bag. You never would have caught yourself in the gym before all this Coachella nonsense. Yes, you were grateful blah blah blah, but this was some serious stuff. Asara joined you on occasion and this was one of those times. Blass your personal trainer he’s heard a ton of drama fall from your lips. Asara grinned and held back a laugh at your impression of the man. The two of you hit the bags in tandem as the conversation continued.

“I think he just misses you. You were on and off for so long you know.” Asara spoke between the sounds of fist hitting bags. You sighed and rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, he missed me while he was fucking another woman high off coke.” You punched the bag and Asara chuckled.

“Y/n he tried to tie you down several times, and I remember you always ran away every time he tried. Now, that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have used his words, but the man did try. And don’t act like you don’t partake.” Asara stood off to the side as she finished her set.

“That’s not what I mean. He just gets carried away and I don’t mind taking care of him after he’s faded but it’s not healthy to do it that much. And as for trying to tie me down… I was completely loyal to him, and he knew that. I want to be shown off and he wants to be secretive and private.” You paused for a second to remove your boxing gloves. “We never saw eye to eye, but I love him too.”

“Right and now that you can both agree on something what are you going to do about Dylan?” Asara made a good point, and you weren’t sure how to break the news.

***

“Do you think I’m ready for this?” You looked up at Dylan with fear in your eyes. It was starkly different than any look he has seen on your face before. He always knew what to say but this time he just sort of looked at you. You looked to him for something. Anything would have been fine just anything to let you know that he could level with you in this moment. You were searching, reaching for anything in the deep recesses of his eyes and you couldn’t find anything.

 His lips turned into a smile, and he pulled you in close. For Dylan in this moment, he was so proud of you that words weren’t enough. You allowed yourself to be pulled to the hug, but your arms stayed at your side. It was eerily frustrating for you. Being spoon fed the idea that he wanted to give you what you deserved, and you deserved more you needed more. You needed what Harry could give you. Out of the corner of your eye you could see him speaking with his production team and you glanced between the two men. When your eyes settled back on Dylan, you knew you needed him to leave. The two of you stood backstage at a mock rehearsal for the night you were to perform on stage at Coachella. Voices and the sounds of metal scraping against each other while the sun beat down on the field. Dylan decided to join you for moral support, but you felt so separated from him. It was like he did understand what you needed in that moment to help you feel better. You stared at the wall and your mind went blank. This had to stop.

Harry stood off to the side with his team. Each of them primping him and measuring fabric for the show. He did a good job at staying impartial when Dylan was around. For the few times they ended up in the same room or when he saw a photo of him on his Instagram feed because you posted him, or he just happened to be in the photo. You didn’t fully warm up to him just yet and Harry knew you didn’t forgive him yet. In his mind he decided he needed to be on his best behavior to win you back and gain your trust. Harry couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t snooping, he definitely was. And he could tell Dylan was doing a shit job at comforting you. The guy looked nervous enough for both of you.

“Um I gotta go Dylan.” You spoke softly and pulled away from him after he placed a kiss to the top of your head. You looked disappointed if harry could even say that. Dylan seemed to take the hint and disappeared off to sit with your friends. The dress rehearsal was dragging on for everyone so harry could imaging you felt stuck right now. Nervous and unsure who to talk to. Having a solution come to mind he made his way over to you. At first you didn’t notice. You were marking beats and paces in your head like he does, and it made him smile to think about you valuing his creative process.

Harry decided you needed space and he leaned onto his team as they finished the preparations. He would be back in two nights to perform, and you would be joining him on stage. His nerves caught up to him and he was glad you were off with your people so he couldn’t make a fool of himself again. You looked good though even in your comfortable clothes to practice. Your hips hit every marked beat and he almost got lost watching you.

The next day of rehearsal went by fast, and you were up late again practicing for the show. Beat after beat and step after step, you went over it in your head until it was time to gather backstage. You arrived at the venue the next day in a pink dress. A car service picked you up and your team met up with you. Flashes of light and screams cold been seen a mile away from the stage. Harry was prepped and ready to descend upon the crowd. You stood off to the side and took deep breaths. Harry saw you from the corner of his eye and looked over. You looked so scared. So different from how he was used to seeing you. You looked so vulnerable.

“You’re going to be great darling.” His voice carried a low register that caught your attention through your in-ears. He had walked over to comfort you. The glitter on his outfit fell to the ground like snowflakes and you stared at the glistening specks. For some reason, the closer he got to you the slower your heart began to beat.

“Give me your hands.” His voice was firm but soft as to not call attention to you. You listen despite all that has happened and how much you wanted to walk away and be alone. Your hands fit into his so perfectly. Harry held onto you gently and rubbed his thumbs onto your palms. Your breathing was shallow, but you stayed in that spot not daring move your sight from the floor.

“Look at me darling.” That pet name would haunt you if this ended up anymore tragically. Harry caught your eye, and you stared right back at him. His eyes didn’t give anything away that he didn’t want them to, and you just stood there looking into his eyes for a few minutes. You wanted to cry. Dylan could have never comforted you like this. All these months and weeks replayed over and over in your mind as you held hands with Harry.

“Just look for me if you feel nervous out there, okay? Focus on me.” Harry let go of your hands and walked up the stairs. You closed your eyes, and you could hear the excitement in the crowd build. The screams got louder and louder as the music began to play and he walked out. Secretly your heart was doing flips. Warmth flushed your face, and you gave Harry a small smile. He brushed his thumb against your face and turned to walk on stage. You stood back and looked at the crowd as he started to perform. The opening notes of adore you began to play, and the audience went crazy.

Three songs and then you heard your cue. Walking closer and closer to the stage you heard your song begin to play through the speakers and the beat matched up with your heart.

Liked by harryswife33…and 3849 others

y/nandharryshipper1 y/nrry for lifeeeeee

458 comments

Harryfan54 stop they are for sure meant to be together.

Y/nnnfan22 y’all acting like she isn’t in a relationship rn

Reply to Y/nnnfan22 y/nrryshipper9 right lol its weird even for me. Like I get it but harry is definitely in over his head with this one.

Liked by assa22, harrystyles and 93820 others

Yyy/nn3 baby’s first Coachella tyyy @\harrystyleshq for inviting meee

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Y/nnnfann0 bae looking so fucking good

Harrystyleshq loved having you

Harryfan96 Harry gets to have that any time he wants and I’m jealous

You put your phone down after looking back at the post. A notification flashed at the top that Dylan had posted and for some reason you wanted to keep him out of your mind. Now Harry isn’t stupid, and he especially isn’t stupid when he’s sober. He saw how fast you ignored the notification. He didn’t quite see who it was from when you put your phone down so fast, but he guessed it was from Dylan. He would be lying if he said it didn’t amuse him but the idea that you still gave an ounce of energy to that man made him feel detached from reality. The room was cold like he asked for it to be, but his neck felt hot. The veins in his arms bulged for a second and then before he could succumb to the jealousy you started speaking.

“Thank you.” You sounded so meek and shy. Fixing yourself like a teenager on a first date. Is this what he’s done to you? His darling used to be a spitfire. Real sassy and sickeningly sweet with her attitude. “Thank you.” If this were almost a year ago, he would have you pinned to a wall already. Fuck your “thank you” He needed that feeling back in full force. This simmering tension was frustrating. Was he just supposed to stay away from you? He knew you wanted him back. You didn’t have to say it, that’s what this whole game was about. Harry has studied you and the way you act the only thing that made this different the other times you’ve played cat and mouse with him is that you found a new toy to fuck around with. “You look fucking amazing.” Harry sighed and shifted on the sofa the pair of you were sitting on. He wasn’t lying the skirt you were wearing was low cut and your waist was twisted and curved like when he used to hit it from behind. He should probably stop but who wouldn’t think about you like that?

You noticed that Harry was staring. Staring in your eyes studying you. Staring at your clothes or lacking thereof. Staring at your lips imagining God knows what and you stared right back. It was almost like how you see in the movies. You moved in slow motion as you scooted closer to him on the seat. Your legs crossed and your hands were cradling your phone. Harry sat opposite of you with his legs spread comfortably. His arms were lying over the back of the sofa. The two of you were sure there were more glamorous couches to be lounging on, but the accommodation wasn’t of concern when your lips met for the first time in months. Something about the kiss was electric. Your phone fell to the floor as harry pulled you closer. The position was awkward with your arm trapped between his body and yours. Your legs remained crossed until Harry’s hand gripped the skin of your exposed thigh. His firm palms and fingertips massaged the muscles you had been using to dance all night. Neither of you broke for air until your phone began to ring from the floor.

Harry leaned forward and picked up the device first. His mood dampened as he saw the name flash across the screen. In a split second it crossed Harry’s mind to decline the call on your behalf. All it would take is one swipe of a finger, one press of a button. He would have his lips back on yours in a second. You sat across from him looking expectantly with wide innocent eyes. Such a loud juxtaposition from the smudged lipstick smeared across your plush mouth. And all the nasty things he knew you could do and say with it. You were so beautiful and the second you answered the call you wouldn’t be his anymore.

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[strawbsstarz]

Pt. II Rewrite the Stars: Draco Malfoy x reader

im sorry it seems rushed i just wanted to give you guys a happy ending T_T i had lots to do, i am not doing a series type again its too advanced for me- too much pressure to keep up (maybe in the far future) its also so long mb

Warning: Angst

Pt 1 HERE

~

The night you impulsively decided to leave him alone in that tower was the worst night of your life. You had tiptoed into your dorm, trying not to wake your roommates up, slipping into the blankets. You desperately tried to make yourself comfortable, but the nagging sound of your heart beating in your chest was ringing in your ears, and your head was banging from the running thoughts of what had just occurred. You tried to hold in the emotions you felt- that you've been feeling, but it was impossible. The silent night and the sound of your roommates soft breathing, you couldn't stop the flow of the questions that had begun to compile itself in your brain, does this mean it's over? And with that realization you silently wept into your pillow covering your sobs.

The next couple of days seemed to blend in together, you had missed your classes using the excuse of not feeling well. It was believable-with how much you cried: your face was pale, you had a red runny nose, no one questioned a thing. You knew you couldn't avoid him forever though. When you finally allowed yourself to process the events that had happened, you felt strong enough to see him. You felt confident in avoiding him without having a breakdown.

Days had passed, and eventually it turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. There was no sign of Draco. Where could he have gone? Your heart yearned for him, even if whatever you two had was now unofficially over because of your stupidity of wanting more- you still searched for him in every room. You wondered why he's been gone for months, could it be because of- no, you shook your head it can't be because of that, right? Every time you wonder his whereabouts and why he's been absent, your assumption almost always wanders off into what Harry had told you a couple of months ago. There's no way Draco would agree to that..

You were walking to potions when a voice had called out to you,

"Y/N!"

Recognizing the voice you turn your head to the proclaimed chosen one, offering a wave and a smile.

"I've been looking for you, do you remember what I told you a couple months ago?" He asked as he catches up to you.

"About your crush on Ginny?" You teased.

He blushes and his hand rubs the back of his neck looking down, "N-No!" He looks around, and with a hushed voice, he comes closer, "About Malfoy.."

You freeze, standing in place for a second before beginning to walk again to class hoping that he didn't notice, "U-uh yeah? What about it?"

Truthfully, no matter how much you tell yourself to not meddle anymore in Draco's business, you can't help feeling worried, so if this is the only way you would get to know about where he was, then fine, so be it. Even if the idea of it all made your heart ache even more.

"I overheard him talking to Snape about something a couple of days ago-"

"Wait- wait he's back?" You questioned.

"I think they're planning something Y/N-" He sighs, "I'm just warning you to be careful okay?"

You nodded cautiously and as you two had begun walking into class, you made your way to your assigned seat near the front. You wondered if Harry is overthinking his claims, but if he overheard something suspicious, does this mean that all his assumptions about Draco were true?

You began to space off, until a familiar scent of expensive cologne and mint had caught your attention and you held in your breath. Shit. You completely forgot he sat next to you during potions. With how long you haven't seen him, you didn't expect him to sit next to you especially after that night.

It had been months, months since you last smelled his cologne, him. You didn't dare meet his eyes, and he didn't dare meet yours. You lowered your head to look at the quill and paper in front of you. He sighs as he stares at the front of the class waiting to start.

"Can't believe you've already moved on to Potter," he muttered under his breath. You couldn't even register what he had said, because your mind was solely focused on how much you missed his voice.

"How have you been?" You asked, still looking down as you began twiddling with your fingers. Even though you refuse to look at him, his eyes are fixed on you, from the second he walked into this room, from the hallway when you walked with Potter, it was on you.

Before he could answer, class had begun. The entire time you tried your best to avoid his gaze, to avoid meeting his eyes. You didn't know what would happen if you saw his eyes, saw his face. You were too scared to face him. However, it was the complete opposite for him. He kept stealing glances in your direction, as if making sure that it was you right next to him. He couldn't believe it.

Unbeknownst to you, these past couple of months were horrid for him. He had missed school because the Dark Lord had requested for him to attend the death eaters meetings and considering how his family almost always hosted them, he had no choice but to go. He felt restless every night, especially since his childhood home was now being used as a hotel for the most dangerous wizards known. He couldn't stop worrying and thinking about you, wondering how you were. Every night he laid in his bed with images of you in his head- memories you two had spent together. He felt himself constantly playing with his family ring every time he felt restless, and his thoughts would always wander to how the spaces between his fingers felt empty without yours intertwined in them.

And now that you were next to him, he couldn't take his eyes off of you. You were merely inches away from him, and even though he craved to feel you against him once again after all this time, he bites the inside of his tongue, to snap himself out of it. He recalls the promise he made to himself that night, and that is to keep you alive.

He managed to hold himself back, practically running out of the classroom after dismissal. You watched his fleeting figure go, disappointed that you didn't get the chance to talk to him more. Sighing in defeat, you made your way back to your next class.

You had successfully managed to distract yourself that day, and the days after. You didn't know what you wanted, you had decided to break it off with him and he never chased after you. Yes, you were heartbroken, but you still hoped for him to come back to you, you thought that maybe, just maybe, he would be willing to try things to make it work.

You sighed as you leaned forward on the railing at the Astronomy Tower. Even after months had passed, you still found yourself up here, even when Draco was nowhere to be found, you were still here, waiting. You sighed once again, nostalgically remembering him again. You stared at the stars and recalled how you would trace his face with your fingers under the moonlight. You remembered him closing his eyes, humming a tune that you doubt was even a song, but it was beautiful, nonetheless.

Footsteps echoed from the door. You backed away into a shadow, afraid of getting caught. After a couple of seconds, a figure appeared in the entrance, the familiar blonde coming into view. This was the first time in months since you've seen his face. Despite talking to him earlier, you couldn't bring yourself to look at him, so you never noticed how much weight he lost, and how he looks paler than usual but even despite all of that, he looked just as handsome as you remembered.

"Draco?" You stepped out of the shadows walking towards him. When he saw you, his eyes widened in surprise,

"Y/N.." He hesitates, "I didn't think you'd be up here.."

You shrug and walked towards him, "Force of habit, really."

He looks at you for a moment, before putting his hands in his pockets, giving a slight nod. He backs away slowly, "I'll leave you to it then."

"Wait," you reach and grab his arm as he began walking away, "stay.."

He pauses in his tracks. Your hand clung tightly to his clothes, and you finally asked, "Where have you been..?"

He turns himself around to face you, his movement delayed. You lowered your head,

"I've missed you.." you exhaled, closing your eyes to take in a deep breath. You lift your gaze to meet his. A rush of emotions coming back to you, one that you've missed. The way he looked at you with such warmth and with such love, it remained the same, even after all this time. He wants to tell you that he missed you too, but there's a voice in his head screaming at him to leave, before someone finds out that he's with you. He stops breathing for a second, trying to contain himself but he can't.

He grabs you by the shoulders and pulls you in desperately. He's missed you so much and all this time apart had him shaking slightly. He was scared and so happy to finally see you. All the pent up frustration, emotions he's piled up these past couple of months, he almost collapsed right then and there. Your arms snake their way to his waist, embracing him tightly, afraid he might go away again.

None of you say a word for a couple of minutes, until Draco's left arm burns and he hisses pushing you away. He holds it to try to soothe the pain, worried you stepped towards him,

"Dra-Draco? What's wrong?" You asked as you see a red glow underneath his robe. You grab his arm and reveal the bare skin. He doesn't have time to push you away as the pain continues, but it begins to subside once he feels your touch, and when he's back to his senses it is already too late.

You gasp, you've always denied it, but deep down you knew and seeing it with your own two eyes felt more real. You couldn't run away any longer from this truth that you tried so hard to convince yourself from. Your eyes began to water and before you knew it, you began to cry.

"Are you afraid?" He murmurs, "I didn't want you to know..."

"Since when?" Your fingers shaking as you slightly grazed over the mark.

"A while ago..." He bites his lip, trying to hold himself back from breaking apart. He's terrified, now that you know. His head is telling him to run- to leave this tower immediately but like that night his feet are planted in place. He tries to think of an idea- he shuts his eyes as he clenches his fist, nails digging into the skin, "Now you can understand why we can't be together, Y/N."

He hates talking to you this way, but he can't bring himself to leave this place- you. To him, the best next thing to do is to get you to leave, just like that night. He mentally scolds himself for letting his emotions get the best of him- acting so recklessly as he did earlier.

You couldn't stop the tears that spilled. Yes, you were scared but not of him, for him.

Draco keeps his head low, overthinking the situation- what's to happen. He tries to navigate through the list of horrible things that could happen to you because of his mistake.

"I'm so sorry I was selfish and asked you for more when- when you-" You choked on your tears and your sentences become incoherent, "I didn't know...Why didn't you tell me? I-"

Shocked, he looks up, his heart breaking at the sight of you, why were you sorry? Why were you apologizing? He should be the one to apologize, not you.

His hand reaches out to wipe your tears away, "I didn't want you to know," he repeated, "I didn't want to risk putting you in danger.."

You shake your head, "What about you?"

"I've been recognized as one of them, Y/N" His tone was soft, but there was so much sorrow to it, "It's only dangerous if I let my guard down."

"You'll only be safe for now, it's not guaranteed, Draco."

There's a moment of silence, to process everything.

"Has he done anything to you?"

Draco caresses his fingertips on your cheek, "No, I'm okay." Another pause, he looks at you and lightly traces your face with delicacy, "I'm sorry, Y/N."

"It's okay-"

"No, let me finish, love." He presses his forehead against you, eyes closed as your skin touch. He still holds your face, trying to feel your presence as much as he could, trying to savor every second that passes. You close your eyes, trying to focus you're entire mind and body to just him. Though it was such a simple act of touch, it felt so intimate.

"I love you." He whispers, "I love you so much, Y/N."

"And I love you, Draco Malfoy." You cry again, not because of sadness, but because of how much comfort those words gave you. How those three words lifted such a burden in your chest that you felt so light in his arms again.

And just as it was comforting to you, it was to him. However, he knew that he still does not want to risk losing you and getting caught up in the middle of this soon to be war.

"We can't be together...No matter how much I love you, and you love me, I don't want to risk your life, Y/N."

"I know, I understand-" He squeezes your cheeks,

"Let me finish, love." And you fall silent, waiting. "I want to be selfish and ask if- you can.." He doesn't ask, but he didn't need to because you already knew.

"I can wait." You smile, "I can wait Draco, but...what's gonna happen to us when we see each other out there...on the other side of war?"

Draco sighs, "I don't know, but whatever happens, I'm not gonna let you get hurt by them.."

You shudder at the thought of all the possibilities that could happen in battle, but it quickly fades away as you remember that he was in your arms right now, and that's all that matters.

You don't know what's gonna happen, neither of you do, but whatever happens you'll wait for him. Like you always have, you'll wait until both of you can be together, when the circumstances are right. You'll wait with a different perspective in mind- because now you know that he loves you just as much as you love him. You'll wait for him with a worried heart, longing everyday for his touch. You can wait for him because you know that on the other side of it all, he's there, waiting for you.

[latibvles]

keep me pretty.

another prompt fill for the bomber girls — using kinship from the prompt list, here's something that takes place during episode one, before the girls make their appearance at Bucky's little send-off before he heads over to England, featuring the baby of the group: one Carrie Hughes :)

—

For the first time in a long time, the barracks is quiet.

And rarely was it ever quiet, especially on a Friday night. Not when there was a bar to go to and enough reasons to celebrate: this time, their Air Executive was crossing the pond, and soon, they’d be doing that too. Greenland, and then Europe — the idea of actually seeing combat suddenly seemed less slim then it once had. They’re all dressed for it too, in their Class As, jackets cast to the side for the moment but soon to be donned with their silver wings and respective insignias. Still, the barracks is quiet and June Cielinski is sitting on her footlocker and staring at the door, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees.

“This is stupid,” Carrie declares impulsively, the first to break up this tentative quiet. A couple eyes land on her, June’s included, and the latter rolls her eyes.

“You’re more than welcome to head out on your own, Hughes.” Carrie puffs out her cheeks, breaking away from June’s piercing stare to divert her attention towards Harrie’s empty cot.

“Then I’d just be stuck waiting for the bus forever,” she points out in a smaller voice. It’s a flimsy excuse, which is really just code for I don’t want to go alone. No one faults her for it, but it does elicit a handful of laughs from some of the older girls. Through her periphery, she watches June toss her straw-colored hair over her shoulder and lets out a quiet sigh of relief, knowing she’s evaded a round of the bombardier’s relentless teasing, if only for a moment.

It was a piece of advice they carried with them from Des Moines. They didn’t go anywhere alone. It was safer that way, going in groups or pairs, having the extra set of eyes and hands to help avoid the trouble on base. So no, Carrie wasn’t going to wait at the station by herself and no, June didn’t actually want her to anyway. They didn’t have to say that part out loud to know it.

One day, maybe they’d laugh at their current dramatics — but right now it all felt very life-or-death, do-or-die.

No one really thought June was going to go through with it. She delivered the idea (or was it a threat?) with the same fire that she did most of her retaliatory statements. It seemed silly then, but now at least half their crew feels a little foolish for thinking it wasn’t possible for her to actually see it through.

Carrie especially, couldn’t help but think it was crazy for someone with hair as shiny and golden as June’s to cut it all off, whether if it was in retaliation or for practical reasons. Keep it off the collar, sure, they had a million different ways to do that — wrangling their hair into rolls and buns and braids had been a part of civilian life that they’d carried with them from Des Moines to Utah, Nebraska to California. Cutting it all off was extreme. More permanent. Sure, it would grow back eventually, but until it did she’d be stuck with whatever awkward phases that could arise from hacking off all that length.

Hell hath no fury like a girl who didn’t want to be on magazine covers, apparently.

Harrie opens up the door and returns to the crew, something shiny in her hands and June’s typical sour expression melts away for something more gracious.

“Got ‘em! Here y’go, Juney,” she announces happily, handing over the clippers and a comb. “Blakely said I could just give ‘em back tomorrow.” And June nods, rummaging through her footlocker until she pulls out a small mirror and offers it up to Fern, who holds it in front of her so she could better see what she’s doing.

“Don’t cut your ear,” Carrie offers in a soft voice, and June snorts.

“Well there goes my bright idea.” But Carrie can’t help but hold her breath a bit as June brings the clippers to her own head, and there’s a heavy silence broken up only by the soft snip snip snip as pieces of June’s hair fall to the floor of the hut, like golden thread being cut from it’s spinning wheel. She uses her fingers as a guide — and while anyone outside of this hut would assume June would just hack away at herself with reckless abandon, there’s a meticulousness to the way she works. Slow and steady.

“Did you work at a salon or something, June?” Josephine asks from her own spot, curious as she watches.

“No, but my mom used to cut all our hair to save us money instead of going to a barber. Then I cut a bald spot into my hair when I was seven and she started teaching me so I wouldn’t do that again,” June pauses, giving every girl in the hut a narrow-eyed look. “...That story doesn’t leave this hut.”

The tension breaks, a small round of laughter before they lapse into side conversations, Josephine makes a promise to let Fern take powder to her face if they ever go out in England. Carrie watches, quiet, while Harrie starts talking about the state of the Nissen hut she’d just ventured into as though it was as foreign of a place as the Pacific Islands. Lorraine, who’d been watching June’s process with a quiet interest, clears her throat as she approaches.

“Could you do me next?” Straight to the point, June pauses, looks up, then nods.

“If you can tell me how the back of this thing is looking, sure.” Lorraine leans over to take a look at the back of June’s head, stares with discerning, narrowed dark eyes, before her thumb pops up and she gives an approving nod.

“No bald spots.” There’s a ghost of a smile playing at Lorraine’s lips, before she takes the seat behind June on her rack to watch. Harrie was half-leaning on Carrie by this point — enthralling her with some tale about how Brock from Just-A-Snappin had been spraying himself in cologne like his life dpeended on it, and the idea of the whole hut stinking of Old Spice has Carrie laughing to herself quietly. Still Harrie perks up upon hearing June and Lorraine’s conversation, tilting her head to one side like a curious puppy.

“You’re givin’ ‘em out, now?” She asks, almost hopeful. By now, June’s hair is effectively off her shoulders, an uneven yellow shag brushing against her jaw. She dusts off her shoulders haphazardly, content for now, and gives a bit of a shrug.

“That’s what it looks like.” Harrie presses her lips into a contemplative line, tugging at one of her light brown braids as she seemingly weighs the pros and cons, then she speaks up again.

“Y’know, one o’ ma’ pals back home says t’me that hair could get snagged on one o’ them engines if y’ain’t careful,” Harrie admits with a slight shrug. “Don’t know how true that is, but uh…”

“Better safe than sorry?” Inez, from her quiet corner of the Nissen hut finishes the thought. Harrie smiles, appreciatively, and nods in agreement.

“Uh huh. ‘Sides, I think I’d look ‘real cute with a little crop. Do me too.”

“Didn’t realize I was running a salon out of here,” June drawls, half sarcastic as she looks around. “Anybody else? Should I make you all line up? Set up a waiting room?” The other four exchange looks. Then Fern gets that grin on her face: half scheming, half earnest, as she rises only momentarily and makes her way over to Josephine.

“Josie would look great with a little bob, don’t you think?” she remarks, and they know she’s being genuine from the way she starts fussing with Josephine’s hair. The dark-haired girl makes a squeak of surprise, and then her face seems to flush in that modest sort of embarrassment. “And I need my ends cut anyway. Might as well go all the way.” Fern immediately starts taking the pins out that had held her hair in its neat bun.

June looks over at Lena, who shrugs.

“Everybody stares either way. Might as well give them something to look at.” And June then looks to Carrie on one end, Inez on the other, cocks an inquisitive brow.

“Carrie? Inez? Y’in or out?” Carrie, feeling silly, looks over to the Second Lieutenant in the corner of the Hut. It was easy to forget that Inez was four years her senior — they both had a quiet flightiness about them. And like Carrie, Inez seemed to flush under teasing as opposed to fire back or take it on the chin. She gives Carrie a smile, something small and encouraging, then turns to look at June.

“Why the hell not, make sure I’m still pretty at the end of it.” Inez offers, a joke that’s stiff but they laugh all the same. June rolls her eyes lightheartedly, then looks at Carrie.

Carrie simply nods, and she knows it’s enough, because June returns it and then sits Lorraine on her footlocker with a firm order not to move too much. She volunteers the thin sheet on top of her cot to use to keep hair off their uniforms, and goes to work on Lorraine’s pale colored hair with a steady hand and a careful eye.

Now, as opposed to quiet, their hut is busy with girls debilitating over length, how much to cut. For some it’s a big thing: Fern smiles like she’s running on adrenaline as June clips away at perfectly curled auburn locks. For Harrie, its two quick snips to both braids before June goes to make it shorter still, and Harrie voices sending the severed braids to her mother with a picture of her, the next time they get their hands on a camera. Carrie decides if she’s going to do it, might as well go all the way — and although June’s face is unreadable, she gives the girl a gentle squeeze to her shoulder. She’s going last — and after six other haircuts, she’s fairly certain she can trust June to keep her looking pretty.

The door opens though, and all their heads snap to it curiously.

Captain Savorre has simply poked her head in — it reminds Carrie of something her mom would do, a “just checking on you” posed on her tongue. It’s not that though, because their Captain opens up the door fully, does a sweeping motion as Neumann steps in. Savorre lets out a low whistle.

“Was just coming to see if there were any stragglers. Didn’t realize we were all planning on being fashionably late,” she jests, taking in the varying fresh bobs and crops that now dotted the rest of the crew. “Did I miss a meeting, or something?” She fixes her gaze on Carrie, sits on the footlocker, and June, with a piece of her hair that she’d just cut in her hands. Carrie feels her face flush pink, but she clears her throat nonetheless.

“June was cutting her hair and… and we wanted in, I guess,” she can’t help but feel small — being the last one to want to do it. Lena’s idea to give them something to stare at echoes in her head, but she knows those words wouldn’t sound right on her tongue. She could do without the staring, honestly, hadn’t been used to it when they arrived in Utah and still wasn’t used to it now. But there was something… freeing about it. Like shedding old skin and letting something fresh and new breathe. “Like a sendoff, I guess.”

“A sendoff, she says,” And it’s not mocking, the way Savorre says it, but rather with intrigue, looking over to Neumann. “Well I’d hate to be the odd woman out. What’d you think, Willie?” Carrie thinks that they might all be holding their breath now. If Neumann thought something was dumb, then she’d call it dumb.

She doesn’t do that; instead, Neumann’s face cracks into a small smile.

“There’ll be a lot less to do in the mornings.” Savorre smiles at that, then looks back to June with a nod.

“Right then, do me after Hughes, June,” and their pilot takes a seat on her own cot, shedding the jacket, and the anxiety in Carrie begins to settle as June goes back to snip-snip-snipping at her hair.

[not-a-taken-username]

harry potter and the stupid fucking triwizard tournament

by: notatakenusername (aka me!)

summary: The moment Harry James Potter hears his name come out of the stupid, obese, wine-glass doppelganger, (also known as the Goblet of Fire), he's done holding himself back. Queue the chaos that happens when he gives into his impulsive thoughts.

snippet from chapter 9, where Sirius gets his trail:

Umbridge stiffened, eye twitching in anger. “Very well then! Please detail the supposed incident.” 

“It was during my third year in Hogwarts. Ron’s rat, Scabbers, who was also Peter Pettigrew, escaped from Ron’s hold and ran to the Whomping Willow, which has a passage to the Shrieking Shack. It was there where Sirius Black was. We initially thought he was a threat, but he explained the truth not too soon after Professor Lupin showed up. I saw the animagus transformation with my own eyes, as well as Peter Pettigrew’s admission of guilt.” 

Fudge stared down at Hermione with an odd look on his face. Umbridge huffed. 

“Well, what an…interesting story! It would, of course, be possible, if not for the fact that all animagus are registered. Are you aware of this fact, girl?” 

Harry heard Remus scoff in disgust from next to him, which was honestly understandable. Umbridge was treating Hermione as if she had the intelligence of a five-year-old, which was just ridiculous! The reason was rather obvious, too– Umbridge thought because Hermione was Muggleborn, she was less intelligent. Based on the way Hermione’s eye just twitched in pure anger, she’s about to desperately prove Umbridge wrong. 

“Oh? Is that so? Well, girl, are you aware that not every fucking animagus registers in the catalog? Do you know how easy that is to do? No? Do you know that registering is something you do willingly, which means there are probably dozens of unregistered animagus running around out there? Do you know how absolutely stupid the animagus system, which you no doubt set up, is? Do you know how easy it would be to manage this by making the animagus transformation process a class mandated by the Ministry to track all of them instead of having them register on their own? No? You don’t, do you, girl?”

Sirius let out a loud bark of laughter. Umbridge and Fudge could do nothing but gape in pure shock. Hermione smirked in satisfaction. Rita Skeeter’s camera went off. 

Ah. It was simply perfect. 

[come-on-darling-honey]

stupid and heartbroken. [Embry call x reader]

You and Leah Clearwater have something in common, heartbreak and a inclining to stupid decisions. Slowly you and Leah find the secrets of the Reservation that took your best friend, Embry, slowly unravel themselves to you. But not without a little blood, tears, and love.

word count: 1.7k. this will be multiple chapters. please enjoy <3

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE

Chapter one: stupid and impulsive decisions made by the heartbroken.

"I’m not angry at Emily." Leah had told me. I banged my head on the door frame, turning around too quickly. She’d spent the last few days at my house ranting mercilessly and rightfully about Emily and Sam, the lack of loyalty, and the pain of betrayal. I’d held her hand.

She gasped and ran over to me across the small kitchen. "I didn’t think it’d shock you this much." She muttered, and I could hear her grin, so I slapped her leg lightly, groaning about the throbbing pain in my temple and nose. I'd sat down on the floor, Leah clutching my arm. "I think I should get my mom to look at your head."

I had tried to protest, knowing the last place she wanted to be was anywhere near Sam.

“Hush.” I never won a fight against Leah.

It was a twenty-minute drive from Forks to La Push; normally it would speed by like nothing and the beautiful winding trees would hold my attention, but this time all I could see was a green haze. I could smell strong iron as if someone had placed a spoon under my nose. Why in the hell would I have a spoon under my nose? When I raised my hand to my nose, I discovered it was wet with a red haze. Wincing Leah told me to stop touching my nose.

"What the hell happened?" I heard Leah’s mom Sue yell. I had closed my eyes while in the car; my head kept spinning, and I could’ve sworn the road was swirly, like literally a swirl. Leah guided me into her home, explaining—and suppressing laughter—about my incident. She’d conveniently left out the part where she’d forgiven Emily; I made a mental note to mention that later.

Turns out there were lots of people at the Clearwater residence, all of whom kept mentioning how much blood I was covered in. I heard a soft gasp and a hand grab mine, Seth. He’d always been a little brother to me, sweet, kind-hearted, and concerningly chaotic.

"The two of you are on your own for four days, and you turn up like this?" Sue was not enjoying this.

I attempted to mutter a sorry as she attacked my nose with tissues, hushing me. I couldn’t help but remember how alike Leah and her mom are. Harry Clearwater's laughter fills the room.

"You two do more damage than the boys!" He was right; Leah and I had a record for roughhousing. This, however, was not fighting. This was stupidity, lack of sleep, and genuine surprise.

The house was full of laughter, and I cracked an eye open, seeing a lot of boys in the other room. Jacob was there, and he slowly came over to me.

"What the hell did you do to her, Leah? She looks like Carrie!"

"No, she did this to herself."

Jacob's laughter became more hearty and fucking annoying. I didn’t have the energy to hit him. If I could just close my eyes again.

"Nothing's broken, and you only have a light concussion." My chances of getting some sweet, sweet sleep seemed like a pipe dream for a cold man. I groaned and slouched on the wooden chair. Seth started talking about how good it was that nothing broke and how he wouldn’t be able to stomach it if he saw his mom "fix" my nose if it was broken.

All the blood had been cleaned up, and I stole one of Leah’s shirts, yearning for her bed. It looked so beautiful. So soft. I would marry that bed. Honestly, any bed. I think I’d take a pile of rocks and a blanket at this moment.

"Don’t even think about it." Leah scolded, pulling my gaze away from the alluring dream castle.

"I’m tired, though." With how weak my voice sounded, even I wouldn’t let myself fall asleep. It hurt to speak after not doing so for so long, no doubt due to the pain pulling and contorting all my muscles into a tangle of strings. Leah put on a TV show we’d both seen before, clearly unnecessarily loud to keep me awake, and sat me on the hardwood floor. Sitting opposite me, it was clear how tired she was too.

"So, you aren’t angry at her?" I didn’t mean to say that aloud, but I think that head bang knocked out any sense I had in my head, I always knew it would come to this. I’d have to live the rest of my life as an idiot.

Although Leah didn’t look taken aback, it seemed like she’d been expecting me to bring it up, just waiting for the clogs in my head to move faster.

"No. If she is in love, I don’t think I can hate her for that. But it still hurts, you know? She’s my cousin; we grew up together, and she just..." She pulled in a deep breath and continued, "It’s so fucked up. I think I’ll resent Sam for it forever. But Emily’s family. That's stronger than this." Leah and I had always been friends, but only recently had we been this close. Being two years younger than her, I grew up closer to Jake, Quill, and Embry and Leah than Sam, but just recently we’d gotten closer. Pre heartbreak.

"Even if it hurts, its love?" I ask. I can’t help but think of Embry when I speak of love. I can feel the warmth of his touch even when I am so far from him. His brown eyes, long, dark hair, and smile—a smile that held every gasp of reassurance—I don’t think he was with Jacob earlier. I wish he was. I just want to hear him.

"It’s love, especially if it hurts, I guess."

Maybe Leah wasn’t the only heartbroken one. I felt a hot tear rise. Fuck off. I wiped it away, hanging my head down, but, dear lord, that hurt my nose.

"Stop thinking about him. He left you. That isn’t a friend." Leah said, can she read minds?

"What do you say to some reckless activities?" I asked, smiling. Grabbing my backpack from her desk, I pulled out the pain meds I had stashed for cramps. They’d work well for this. Swallowing three down without water wasn’t a cheerful experience, but it got Leah to laugh.

"Cliff diving? In your condition?" Leah and I didn’t tend to make good choices. But heartbroken people rarely do. We were defiantly going, Leah had already stood up, grabbing her keys.

"I can’t get any more hurt!" We started putting our shoes back on. "Plus, I won’t tell your mom if you don’t."

"Ah, secret cliff diving, even though you are 18 and I’m 20." I didn’t respond as we left the house. only talking again as we drove away. The meds had thankfully kicked in rather quickly.

"I mean, if Emily and Sam get married, there is no way I’d go to the wedding," Leah continued, her eyes plastered on the winding road in front of us. I couldn’t think of anything to say in return. Going through what she has gone through in the past week, my anger would probably lead to stupid, impulsive decisions. Speaking of stupid and impulsive decisions, we drove up to the bottom of the cliff and decided to walk up so we wouldn’t have to walk up again after we were soaking wet.

"So how high up do we go? I’m thinking high or stupidly high." Leah’s tone was harsh, the wind was harsher, and I could feel nothing.

"Stupidly high, but only if you go first," I tried to laugh, but the wind was sucking all the air out of my lungs.

"Deal," she laughed. Her face seemed peaceful, devoid of the knitted brow she’d been sporting lately. The wind circled around her, picking up stray hairs from her braid that lay on her back. "Fuck it’s cold." We took off as many layers as we could and left them in the car, only wearing our shoes, jean shorts, and a black t-shirt for Leah, and cargo shorts and a white vest for myself. It was brutal. My arms weaved around myself; Leah did the same. When we reached the very top of the cliff, I remembered the first time I reached the top. It had been with Embry. before he left. His thin frame was swamped in layers upon layers of clothes. His hair swirled. He held my hand anxiously the whole time. His tall stature looked like the wind would pick him up and take him away. He’d gained muscle since I’d last seen him—at least that’s what Leah had told me. that he’d become one of Sam’s puppies. He called them the hall monitors on steroids, and he joined them?

"Ready?" Leah pulled me out of my stewing anger.

"Ready." I laughed, looking down. Since the first jump, the sense of impending doom has remained. It rushed within me. "Are the currents too strong?" The waves collapsed over each other. People do jump from this height; we’ve seen them. The puppies jump from this height. So, I guessed we’d be fine doing it. But it wouldn’t feel good. It’d feel cold.

"They might be; we can go back if you want." Leah said, holding onto my arm as if she were trying to tell me something that I couldn’t hear. But I knew from the look in her eyes that she wanted to do this, and I wasn’t going to let her down. She’d go down with me if I changed my mind; Leah wouldn’t leave me alone.

"Let's do this," I said, my teeth cold.She grinned back, and we both took a few steps back. As she ran to the edge, I heard something in the woods behind us. I watched as she jumped down, her lean body struggling against the wind. Watching her land was amazing. She reappeared on the surface and gave me a thumbs up.As she swam to the beach, I could see the strength it took.

I could hear more rustling, it felt like I was being watched. Turning around giant glowing things caught my eye. Were they eyes? Is that a bear? Am I gonna die right here because that’ll be embarrassing. Maybe the painkillers were too strong, or maybe I was just an idiot who could look a massive bear in the eyes and not feel fear? That’s not a bear. It moved back slowly, like I hadn’t seen it. And I definitely wasn’t an idiot because I felt fear. It hit like a fucking hammer. The massive not-bear looked human. That wasn’t a good sign. I turned quickly and jumped. The air pelted my skin.

end of chapter one.

ATTENTION. please do not copy any of the actions made by the characters, they are reserved for the stupid and heartbroken. Lots of love, em x

embrys pinterest board

leah’s pinterest board

[thereaderarchive]

Spiders

• for @romionemicrofic prompt: Beginnings | words: 623 | Rated: G

Ron had an awful day. The worst. One of those days that make him question every decision and road he took to get to this point in his life. Two young siblings died in crossfire in battle after an (allegedly) routine stakeout. Moreover, Harry was hurt, Robards scold them for impulsiveness and threatened to separate their partnership, and he hasn't eaten all day. He is a mess, tired, aching and wants to cry.

He enters Harry's hospital room and crashes on the chair. Harry is asleep, and Ron rests his head on the bed beside his best friend's hand. Quick steps are heard followed by a bang on the door that's opened before Ron can muster the strength to raise his head and Hermione is there, gaping and dropping all the papers, files and books in her hands.

"Harry? Ron, is he-?"

"He's fine, asleep under potions, the healers said he needs rest," he says waving his wand and summoning all Hermione's things to stack them neatly on the bedside table.

"Oh... fucking hell," she says starting, "I was scared shitless thinking you both were..." she waves a hand. Ron snorts at her swearing and lifts himself to kiss her on the forehead and lets her sit next to Harry to give her the opportunity to check on him herself.

"Just resting. Did you eat anything today?"

"Oh- um, no, I don't think so. There is this problem with- argh- the Wizengamot is opposing the-I've been in reunions all day and-" she stutters when her mind is quicker than her mouth, Ron smiles.

"I'll get you something, wait here," he says taking his robes from the back of the chair and putting them on.

"Ronald, don't move."

He doesn't have time to react before she's slapping him on the shoulder. It hurts. Ron has always suspected that carrying so many books was an exercise for her, she's surprisingly strong.

"What the- Hermione!"

"Spider," she says apologetically, showing him her palm with a crushed spider.

"Oh," he takes her hand and looks at it for a minute.

Two siblings died. Harry is hurt. Hermione hasn't eaten all day. He wants to cry, he is tired and hungry and the world feels too fucking heavy tonight over his shoulders and a bloody spider finds a way into his robes... but Hermione has his back.

"Marry me," he whispers.

"What-"

"I want to begin every day knowing you will be there to kill all the spiders that threaten me and I want you to know I'll be there to remind you to eat for eternity. And I want to know I'll see your face after Harry and I do something stupid. It's not the best proposal and I don't have a ring but I'll do better later- I just- I love you. You know that, don't you?"

Hermione kisses him, both palms on his cheeks, he's curved and she's on tiptoes.

"This is perfect. Yes. Yes, of course, I'll marry you. I love you, too."

They kiss again, smiling with tear-wet faces. Ron grimaces.

"You- you did clean your spider-splattered hand before touching me, right?" He asks, trying to keep his cool. The key word is 'trying'.

"Um," she said, twitching her lip. "Remember you love me, you said it just now!"

"Hermione!"

"You can't change your mind!" She says casting a scourgify over his face and her own hand. It tingles.

"Are you crying? Am I dead?" Harry asks groggily.

"Not tonight, mate," Ron smiles.

"Cool," Harry says closing his eyes.

"You'll be my best mate."

"-ready am?" Harry says, voice drawing slowly, falling asleep again.

"We'll tell him tomorrow," Hermione says, hugging Ron's middle. 

Ron kisses her head, "I'll get us something to eat".

[unecoccinellenoire]

do you think that if nathalie and adrien pqcked up and left and blocked him everywhere gabriel would be eventually depressed and would eventually try to take his life or is it a stupid idea

I don't think it's a stupid idea at all. In canon once confronted with the fact he can't save Emilie (or at least not without letting Nathalie die depending on your interpretation of how his Wish worked) and he's lost Nathalie and Adrien Gabriel does chose to die rather than accepting Marinette's, admittedly uncertain, offer of living and trying to change things.

Depending on the storyline being written and what's happened already then it's very easy to see a period of fighting back and denial that they won't come back before acceptance coming with this decision that he has nothing to live for anymore. Possibly in a post-season 5 AU where he lives but they leave that comes quicker.

While Adrien might be the bigger emotional cut in that this is his son, the child he promised Emilie and they worked so hard for, and that she then died to have I think Nathalie's absence is the one more likely to let him get to that stage just because it feels like for a long time she's been his only emotional outlet.

He doesn't seem to have or confide in other friends. Tomoe clearly considers his emotionality an inconvenience, and her advice is that he should just get it together. Amélie is a connection through Emilie rather than one of his own and they don't come across as ever having been particularly close. Harry Clown is a childhood friend its unclear when was the last time he even talked to.

Nathalie has both been an emotional relief and until their fall out something of a brake (not the most effective one as her own morality and mental state is hardly stellar) on his worst impulses and without that Gabriel does make worse choices and while we mainly see that being shown through his actions towards other people I can easily see it turning inwards to how he looks after himself.

Especially as Gabriel tends to care more about presenting his image (and the image of his family) than looking after his actual self (or you know his family).

[maeglinyedi]

Yes, I'm still alive and I come bearing gifts. I needed a bit of a break, as I usually do after I've spent a few months writing. But this fall my seasonal depression reared its ugly head worse than usual and put me on my arse for a few months. After some much needed rest and an adjustment of my meds I'm feeling more like a human being again, thankfully. I've started writing a new chapter for Lives Lived and Lives Lost and I'm offering you all a preview as a thank you for being so patient with me. I hope to finish it and post it in the next few days.

Life # 21: That time Harry and Tom were Holmes and Watson

Tom got his memories back the usual way. He met Harry while his friend Mike introduced them at St Bart’s.

Of course, what was different this time around was that Harry introduced himself as Sherlock Holmes with a tiny yet insufferable smile. And then he promptly showed off by metaphorically undressing Tom where he stood as he summed up detail after detail about Tom’s life that he couldn’t possibly know.

Tom slowly closed his eyes. Harry was Sherlock Holmes and Tom was John Watson. Or some modern version of them, at any rate.

How did these lives even get chosen? Who decided what sort of people they were going to be life after life? The previous life they’d been a couple of dog groomers, for fuck’s sake, living a peaceful life in Austria until they died of natural causes while they were well into their eighties.

And now they apparently were the world’s most famous detective along with his faithful sidekick.

Before he could stop it, a sharp pang of envy coursed through Tom’s body, leaving a sour trail in its wake.

Tom should have been Sherlock Holmes. Not Harry the bumbling Gryffindor. Tom was the consummate Slytherin. Tom was always the clever one, no matter what sort of life they led. That’s not to say that Tom as John Watson was stupid. Not at all. Tom in is current itineration was plenty smart. He was a medical doctor, after all. But he wasn’t Sherlock Holmes levels of smart and that stung, no matter that Tom didn’t want to ever feel envious of his soulmate.

Harry announced that Tom could be his roommate and told him to come to 221b Baker Street before giving him a cheeky wink. And then he was gone and Tom was left staring into space in complete shock.

“Yeah,” Mike said with a knowing smile. “He’s always like that.”

Something told Tom he’d be spending most of his time this life trying to save Harry from himself. No matter what kind of life Harry led, he was always the impulsive one. Combine that with a newly acquired genius level intellect and an unstoppable need to solve every interesting crime that came his way and it didn’t take the world’s most famous detective to deduct that Harry was going to get himself killed sooner rather than later.

Oh fuck. If there existed a Sherlock Holmes and a John Watson in this world, there also had to be a James Moriarty. Sherlock Holmes’ arch-nemesis and reportedly at least equally as intelligent. And in every single fictional story starring Sherlock Holmes that Tom had ever read, Moriarty always, always wanted to destroy Sherlock Holmes. 

Yeah, this version of Moriarty was going to be in for a bit of a surprise, because this Sherlock Holmes had a former Dark Lord on his side, determined to keep him safe. Tom squared his shoulders and said a quick goodbye to Mike. There was no time to waste. Harry could be landing himself in a world of trouble right at that moment without Tom to keep him safe.

Tom had been a genius once upon a life. Granted, he’d used that genius intellect to turn himself into a magical mass-murderer while valiantly trying to rule the entire world, consequences be damned. But that experience might serve him well enough to predict what a criminal mastermind like Moriarty might plan to see Harry end up in an early grave.

[hsfan94]

Dress

Y/n and Harry had an interesting friendship. They were best friends sure but people always suspected they were more. At first Harry brushed it off and laughed about it even but as time went on the jokes got old. Simply because he could no longer tell where the boundaries were anymore either and he didn’t need outsiders putting their two cents in.

The first time he felt the shift in their relationship was a little over three years ago.

Dancing around the kitchen in the middle of the night Harry realised he'd never had a friend like her before. They'd been friends for a little over two years. He couldn't remember what it was like before her and he didn't want to imagine a time without her.

They were in his New York apartment. After going out to dinner and getting chased by that stupid TMZ guy that's obsessed with him, he suggested she stay at his place since it was closer. That's how they ended up drinking three bottles of Rozé and dancing around like lunatics. Her drunkenness caused her to take a wrong step which sent them both to the floor. He landed on top of her in somewhat of a compromising pose and they both bursted out laughing.

"I've never been this drunk on wine before." She confessed. She wouldn't have told anyone something like that before but his eyes had some sort of truth serum in them.

"Oh yeah?" He could have stared at her for hours.

"That's probably because I don't usually have more than a glass at a time." She impulsively reached up to brush a stray curl out of his face. "You're a bad influence, Harry Styles."

"Where have you been all my life Y/n?"

"Waiting to be a part of it." She wasn't even sure what she meant.

He almost kissed her. If she hadn't swatted at his butt and said, "move I gotta pee," he would have crossed that line. He spent the rest of the night thinking about what it would be like if he had. What else might have happened? Maybe eventually she would even live in the very flat they were in.

He was beyond prepared for the badgering he would get when he told his friends they were doing a joint birthday celebration this year. Their birthdays are so close together and they’ve always talked about celebrating together out of convenience and this year it was happening. And sure enough the teasing had been endless.

“So, H, is it like a coming out party? Are you and the missus finally taking that step?” Jeff asked, sipping his coffee. They were having a meeting about his birthday shows when Jeff read the email invite from Y/n.

The design she went with was adorable and so perfectly her that Harry couldn’t find it in him to make changes when she asked him to edit.

“Come on, Jeff. We’ve been over this.”

“Seriously I think it’s a cute idea. I just wish you two would stop fucking around and get together.”

He received texts from Mitch, Sarah and Ben that day as well all stating something similar. Harry kind of hoped it would be that kind of party.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n was nervous. She knew what she wanted for her birthday this year and she wasn’t going to let anything get in her way. She had been trying to cross the line with Harry for so long. Unfortunately for her, they had horrible timing. One of them was always taken. That night in the kitchen when he almost kissed her she had to run away because she was seeing someone. She would have had sex with Harry right there on her floor if they had kissed and she didn’t want to be a cheater. When he got cast as Jack in ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ they had been staying together and she thought for sure that would be it. Then he came home drunk one night proclaiming love for Olivia and she was proper annoyed. She hadn’t expected it to go on for two years either. So when they broke up, she wanted to give him time to process, but she was ready to go for it as soon as she thought he’d had enough time. And what better way to do that than at their birthday party?

“I don’t know about this one,” she said, looking herself up and down. The black silk gown adorning her body not quite living up to expectation.

She had decided to buy a new dress for the party for the sole purpose of it aiding in her confession.

“I think you look stunning.” Julia stood behind her looking at it from all angles.

“I don’t know Jules. I want his jaw to hit the floor.” She turned around to grab the other one she picked out.

“You say that like his jaw wouldn’t hit the floor if you showed up in sweats.” Julia rolled her eyes as she exited the changing room.

“Shut up. You know what I mean. I’m just scared” Y/n said.

“Why?”

“Because what if he’s just a big flirt. Part of me feels like if he really wanted me he would have done something about it already.” Y/n knew her and Harry were meant to be but she couldn’t figure out why it hadn’t happened yet. So she couldn’t help but worry she was wrong sometimes.

“And I think you severely overestimate men. They don’t always know what they want. Or what they need.”

Y/n opened the curtain and showed Julia the dress.

“This is the one,” they spoke in sync and then they laughed.

“Okay babes get changed and we can get lunch and game plan some more.” Julia ushered her back into the changing room.

She looked over herself in the mirror and sighed happily. It really was the one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry hadn’t actually seen Y/n in a long time. They emailed and texted or called everyday, but she hadn’t been around as much lately due to conflicting schedules. At least she claimed it was her schedule. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew she did not like Olivia and to be honest he hoped it was cause she was jealous. He’d never actually admit it though. Since it had been months since a proper Y/n and Harry moment he could not contain his excitement at seeing her tonight. In fact, he was staring at the entrance to the venue with utmost concentration waiting (not so patiently) for her arrival. Y/n loved being fashionably late. So, Harry was nodding along pretending to be listening to whatever Niall was telling him waiting for his best friend to finally show up.

When Y/n walked through the door, everything stopped. Time stood still. At least Harry thought so anyway, until Niall noticed he no longer had his friend's attention.

"Ah I see. Go talk to her mate."

Without another word Harry all but stormed up to her.

"Hi," he said smiling down at her.

"Hi, Harry. How are you?" She gave him a hug and upon pulling back she stayed attached to him, looking up at him from within his embrace.

"A lot better now."

After another minute of just staring at her, he noticed Julia who had come in beside her.

"Miss Michaels, how are you this evening?"

"Great," Julia replied, "Everything looks fantastic you all did a good job."

Julia and Y/n exchanged a look that Harry couldn't decipher and then she spoke again.

"I'm going to go catch up with Niall. I'll see you lovebirds later."

She skipped away before Harry could say anything about her comment.

“Lovebirds?” He questioned Y/n who was just staring at him, dare he say starry eyed.

“What’s wrong? Is that not accurate?” Y/n was playing with fire. She wanted to really test him.

“What do you mean, lovie?” Harry’s heart started beating faster.

She didn’t want to lay it all out just yet so she leaned up to whisper in his ear, “I don’t want you like a best friend.” Then she cheekily squeezed his left ass cheek and scampered away.

Harry was left speechless watching her walk away. And damn did that dress look good from the back.

~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n wasn’t avoiding Harry per se but she was definitely putting space between them. She was currently talking to Jeff about future projects he could help her with and her and Harry kept meeting eyes. She couldn’t tell how well received her ass grab and best friend remark were and it was driving her crazy. So crazy she decided to just ask his friend.

“I hate to interrupt your thought J, but I have to ask you something.”

“No worries what’s up?” Jeff was always so understanding.

“I’ve been sending all these signals, I mean for years, and I feel like I get nothing in return and it’s driving me crazy.” She started to ramble.

“Y/n. Breathe. Get to the point.” Jeff chuckled at her frustration because he knew what the question was.

“Ok. Umm. How do I put this? Does Harry ever talk about me? Like in a romantic way?”

“You mean is he in love with you?” Jeff asked.

She nodded. He looked over at Harry only to find him shamelessly staring at Y/n. His eyes were traveling all over her body, completely ignoring Mitch and Sarah who were stood beside him, and Jeff had to end it.

“Yes he’s been madly in love with you for years, but between you and me,” he looked between Y/n and Harry, “he’s a big pussy.”

Y/n cackled. She had never heard Jeff say that word and it was fucking hilarious, especially in the context of describing her silly best friend, her love.

“Thank you. So much. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go make an announcement.”

Y/n scurried over to the stage they had set up for toasts and karaoke.

“Excuse me everyone.”

The crowd went silent and all eyes were on her.

“First I want to thank you all for coming. It means so much to Harry and I. We love each and every one of you.”

She looked at Harry and saw how confused he looked.

“I just umm. I have an announcement to make and I don’t know how to form my own words for it. The irony is not lost on me as a songwriter.”

The crowd laughed.

“But I’ve tried to write songs about this in the past few days and I’ve just had major writer’s block so, if it’s okay with you, I’m going to borrow words from my friend Taylor.”

She looked at Taylor who gave her a thumbs up.

“Alright then. This song is called Dress.”

The music started playing and everyone except Harry seemed to understand immediately.

“Our secret moments, in a crowded room. They got no idea about me and you.” She made eye contact with Harry as she sang.

“Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo. All of this silence and patience. Pining and anticipation, my hands are shaking from holding back from you.”

She lifted up a shaky hand and everyone laughed including Harry who had seemed to catch on a little.

“Say my name and everything just stops. I don’t want you like a best friend. Only bought this dress so you could take it off.”

On that line she got bold. She pointed to her dress and then to him and his eyes shot wide open. Then she gestured him closer with her finger and he complied, slowly approaching the stage himself.

“Inescapable, I’m not even gonna try and if I get burned at least we were electrified.”

He was on the stage now.

“Everyone thinks that they know us but they know nothing about.” She held the mic out to him and he sang, understanding it was meant to be a mutual announcement.

“All of this silence and patience pining and anticipation my hands are shaking from holding back from you.” He lifted his hands up hovering them above her face but not touching to animate the line. Everyone laughed again.

They sang the rest of the song loosely but Y/n finished alone with the line “Only bought this dress so you could take it off.”

The music ended and the crowd cheered. Then, somebody (Y/n swears it was Jeff immediately followed by Taylor) started chanting “Kiss, Kiss, Kiss”. And they did.

Harry’s hands finally found placement on her cheeks and their lips met delicately. It was a perfect first kiss. When they broke away but he was still so close she whispered “I love you,” and he kissed her again.

“I love you too.”

A/n: I thought about writing more (maybe what they do after the party), but I also wanted to post this before it had been too long after his birthday. So I hope you like it. Comment if you want more from this universe.

[blouisparadise]

Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of November. We hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Call Or Delete | Mature | 2466 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Nick Grimshaw.

Short one shot based on the real events of 2012 radio interview with Nick and Harry playing call or delete where nick told Harry to tell their stylist Louis had let himself go.

“Aaaaand stop. Who’ve you got?” Nick eyes Harry over the mic.

“Our stylist, Caroline.” Harry responds, a mischievous grin etching up his face.

“Amazing.” An idea starts throbbing in Nick's head. And ever the impulsive, he blurts “What you could do, does she style all of you?” Harry nods. “Why don’t you call her up and be like, pft, Louis’ really let himself go.” Nick bursts into laughter.

“No. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. No”

2) Yours Is The Only Ocean | Explicit | 3390 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Tom Hardy.

In which Louis finds out the man he pulled at a club turns out to be famous UK wrestler and boxer, Tom Hardy.

“I can’t remember, are we?” her false tone of disagreement was obvious. That stupid grin on her reddened lips was enough to drive anyone off their feet.

3) Apples In Caramel | Explicit | 4022 words

Louis doesn't like apples in caramel and he doesn't like amusement parks, and he certainly doesn't like curly boys.

4) I Don’t Care, I’m Not Scared Of Love | Explicit | 5197 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Listen. It’s not like Louis hates Harry. Far from it, actually. He likes Harry a bit too much. And not in a “oh, he’s cute, I’d like to kiss him” way. More like “I want you to handcuff me to my bed and fuck me until I can’t even remember my own name” kind of way. So, yeah, it’s kind of a problem.

5) Purr And Shout | Not Rated | 5274 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

The sound that escapes Harry's mouth couldn't possibly be a purr. He's an alpha, alphas don't purr. Or do they?

6) Truth Or Drink | Explicit | 5548 words

Harry and Louis are pornstars, and flatmates. Harry thought he would take his secret unrequited love for Louis to the grave with him, until Liam decides it would be a good idea to have them on his YouTube series of Truth or Drink.

7) You Step Where Words Are Written, Delicate Under Your Feet | Mature | 6496 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 513: A fic where Louis gives Harry a footjob over his pants while they're watching TV and Harry finds out he has a thing for Louis' feet.

8) Stripper | Not Rated | 6569 words

Harry is a bartender at the same strip club Louis works at. They're a power couple.

9) Kiss It Better | Mature | 8080 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Harry shakes his head with a light laugh and leans down to kiss him again which Louis happily accepts even if he is a little confused by the reaction. "Baby, not a night has gone by that I haven't thought about you in my bed, naked, and begging for my cock."

Blinking up at him with wide eyes, Louis opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. While they did flirt a lot over the last few weeks, Harry had never said anything like that. It shocks him as much as it turns him on.

"News to me."

"I won't lie and say I like random hookups or casual sex, but to me this isn't what that is."

Louis swallows thickly, unsure of what to say to that but once again Harry gives him an out.

"So, If you want we can stay up here and I can show you all the things I've thought about doing to you." Another kiss, quick and sweet. "Or, we can go back downstairs and we'll dance all night."

10) …With Love, (Almost) No Plot | Explicit | 10422 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Harry is the star of a very popular porn website and Louis is the new amateur, and everybody is requesting for them do a scene together. Harry is so confused as to why his fans what him to do a scene with Louis since he always looks so shy and quiet in his scenes, but decides to give his fans what they want. And get a little something he didn't realize he even wanted in return.

11) If I Saw You Every Day Forever | Mature | 10685 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

There really should be a statute on the number of dates one can go to because how much longer does Louis have to suffer through this?

A modern AU in which Louis might have accidentally signed up for something he probably shouldn't.

12) Over My Shoulder | Explicit | 10960 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Sebastian Stan.

The media thinks omega singer Louis Tomlinson is dating alpha actor Sebastian Stan because they bump into each other all the time.

Everything changes when they accidentally bond.

13) Needles And Lyrics | Mature | 11971 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Louis Tomlinson blunders at the Los Angeles premiere of friends´ Liam movie, doesn´t know what designer he was wearing: It shouldn´t come as a surprise to us that former boybander Louis Tomlinson could not recall who designed his outfit at the premiere of Liam Payne´s new movie The Overview. During several interviews on the red carpet last night, he was asked who he was wearing, and Tomlinson never answered correctly. At the beginning of the night he at least answered honestly that he had no idea who he was wearing, but tried to cover this up with some nice comments and sort of compliments on the suit.

14) Whisper Your Desires, I’ll Provide Them | Explicit | 13438 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Louis has always been a standout, but there is one department she lacks in.

She’s a virgin.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin or lacking in sexual experience. Everyone has different views and ideas on sex, and no one should be shamed because of that. However, it is hard to ignore the peer pressure from society and others.

So, when Harry, her lifelong best friend, offers to help with her situation, there’s nothing that’s going to happen, right?

15) Please, I'm Begging | Explicit | 13746 words

Louis makes the sudden realization.

Well shit. Utter shit.

It’s normal to like someone. It's just human nature.

But…

Louis cannot like Harry no matter what.

Or, Louis is an omega who just wants to be with Harry

16) 24 Hours | Explicit | 14722 words

After all these years, Louis and Eleanor are getting married. The invitations have been sent out and only one person hasn’t rsvp’d. Harry. The only way Harry will come to the wedding is if Louis spends 24 hours with him alone. How bad does Louis want Harry to come?

17) Always And Forever | Explicit | 14394 words

"I am the prettiest flower, 'ight 'azzy?"

"Yeah pup, the prettiest flower to bloom in The Tomlinson's residence."

18) Apparently By Chance, At Precisely The Right Moment | Explicit | 19329 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Alpha Harry doesn’t believe in soulmates. Omega Louis has been looking for his soulmate all his life.

19) Fire, Embers, Ash And Tinders | Explicit | 21846 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

“Can you take pics of Louis today?”

Harry blinks at the ceiling, thinks he must still be dreaming. “Good morning to you too?”

“Actually, it’s twelve in the afternoon,” Niall responds, somehow managing to sound both concerned and cheerful.

“Shit—”

“Anyways,” Niall continues undeterred, ignoring Harry’s panic. “Can you do it or not?”

Sitting up, Harry leans against his cushioned headboard, brows furrowing as he remembers Niall’s initial question. “Can I take pictures of Louis? Louis Tomlinson…who I’ve never held a full conversation with,” Harry asks.

“Well, you know his last name,” Niall quips. “That’s a good start.”

20) I’m Still Standing (After All This Time) | Explicit | 22536 words

Dubbed the modern Elton John, Harry is the biggest thing to come to pop music. Topping the charts, there isn’t anyone who can dethrone him. Until pop punk trio Funeral For Fire emerges on the scene.

21) Thawing Permafrost | Explicit | 22556 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Louis is from the frozen mountains of Glacien. Harry is from the searing desert of Calidius. They come from opposite worlds, but all it takes is an arranged marriage to bring them together as one.

22) The Games We Play | Explicit | 23448 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Louis is a political lobbyist who chose his career over his personal life a long time ago and has never regretted it. Then he met Harry.

23) Live In My Dream State, Relocate My Fantasy | Explicit | 24154 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Harry can't stay in one place, Louis' always been in one place. They find each other in the future.

24) You Go Undercover (You Cross Your Fingers) | Explicit | 25850 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Louis didn’t think that motherhood would be easy, but he certainly wasn’t prepared for just how challenging it would be. He also wasn't prepared for a certain alpha called Harry appearing each time he needs help until accepting is no longer a difficult thing to do.

25) Moonlight Scars | Explicit | 29532 words

Note: Please be sure to check the tags, as there is a Major Character Death.

"Harry Edward Styles." A voice calls and Harry looks up from his notebook to see the professor calling out names for attendance, "Present."

"Louis William Tomlinson." A shiver jolts out of Harry at the familiarity of the name, he grits his teeth he don't know any Louis William Tomlinson so why!

"Here ma'am." A sweet melodic voice says and Harry could feel his heart beating louder in the confines of his chest. A snap sounds and he looks at the pencil that was now in two pieces.

26) Taken | Not Rated | 33050 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Harry/OMC.

Louis is 22, an award winning architect whose trying to put his past trauma of being kidnapped behind him.

Scott Wolf and Harry Styles are two detectives that were there through Louis trauma, essentially saved his life and lead the case.

They haven't seen each other in over a year, but what happens when the case breaks wide open again and Harry and Scott come spiralling back into Louis life again.

27) Crave For More Of You | Explicit | 34604 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Fake proposing to your best friend to get free food at restaurants seems like a perfect game. What could possibly go wrong?

28) Just A Pretty Boy | Explicit | 35614 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

The alpha in front of him wasn’t only tall, but used every inch of his body to look even more threatening. He looked as shocked as Joseph felt, in his eyes he could clearly see horror and anger mixed into an odd and painful mix. It was as if he just watched a ghost or a monster from a nightmare come to life.

“Louis…” he said with a low voice. It wasn’t a question, he was calling Joseph by that name.

The crease between Joseph’s brows deepened. “Who?”

Louis and Harry were married until, one day, Louis passed away in a tragic accident. Years later, he is found alive and with a thousand questions plaguing his mind. The most important ones; was his husband involved in his disappearance? And, how long did it take Harry and his best friend to fall in love after his supposed dead?

29) Stay Until Tomorrow | Explicit | 36766 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

There’s a dull ache seeping through Louis’ body as he wakes up; a mild headache from last night’s alcohol intake, a cramp in his right arm from sleeping on it weird and a familiar soreness between his arse cheeks that Louis fully blames on his lousy one night stand.

30) Borrow The Moonlight | Explicit | 37738 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Louis and Harry broke up three years ago. The last thing Louis expects to see when he’s sent to help a guest is Harry, 3000 miles away from where he’s supposed to be.

31) The Truth of Hearts | Mature | 41847 words

After rising through the ranks to become one of Hollywood’s most celebrated alpha writers, the world is Harry’s oyster. Louis, another rising star alpha, is Harry’s greatest undoing, in more ways than one.

32) What A Wicked Thing To Do (To Make Me Dream Of You) | Explicit | 44444 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Heirs Louis and Harry have been promised as mates to each other their whole lives. It's expected that they will be the perfect pair to bring honor to their families. Louis cannot let that happen.

33) Til’ The Darkness Softly Clears | Explicit | 45430 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Something thuds nearby, and Callie sits up in bed, eyes still fuzzy from sleep. She yawns and rubs her eyes, looking around the room for the source of the noise. When she doesn’t see anything, she huffs quietly. Sliding to the floor, her feet take her towards the door. At the doorway, something disturbs the silence again: the distant sound of footsteps. Callie holds her breath and creeps out of the room. On the landing, she stands on her toes to peer over the railing. She can see the front door, and, outside, through the windows on either side of the door, she sees a shadow pass by. It walks one way, then disappears from sight for a second before it turns and walks back in front of the door. Callie’s eyes widen, and she backs up from view when the figure pauses its pacing directly in front of a window. Slowly, it turns, and it seems to stare right through the window, directly at her.

34) Once Burnt, Twice Shy | Explicit | 52644 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Louis and Harry are polar opposites in every way. Where Louis is a bestselling author from the city, Harry is a small-town firefighter who's never left his home. Where Louis is spontaneous and spirited, Harry is introverted and calm, never straying from routine. When an ill-fated accident and an exceptionally intelligent tabby bring them together, they are forced to confront their pasts and forge a better beginning for themselves.

Will sparks fly, or will it all go up in flames?

35) A Love Like This Won’t Last Forever (And I Don’t Mind At All) | Mature | 53978 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

“I thought you’re a woman.”

“Excuse me?”

“Rumour has it that I’m about to have a new stepmother. Just didn’t expect it would be a man, though twink would give a much better description.”

“I’m not a twink.” Louis crossed his hands in front of his chest defensively.

The man looked at him from head to toe and gave him a sweet fake smile. “Yeah, you are.”

“I’m not— hold on,” Louis loosened his arms and now playing with his thumbs, “what do you mean stepmother?”

The man extended his hand and stupidly Louis reached for it. Once the bigger hand engulfed his own, the man shook it.

“Harry Styles, pleasure to meet you. What should I call you? Stepmother or the mistress?” Harry tightened his grip. “Or maybe a homewrecker?” He gave him the most cruel smile a man could offer.

36) Derail the Mind of Me | Explicit | 77323 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

The Behavioral Analysis Unit gets called in to help a small town police department find the killer leaving behind a string of victims with a particularly jarring signature. FBI profiler Harry Styles must work with his team to uncover the unsub responsible for a slew of gruesome murders and just might discover his own hidden feelings for BAU Technical Analyst Louis Tomlinson along the way.

37) Now I'm Begging for Footnotes in the Story of Your Life | Explicit | 79833 words

Harry and Louis are engaged, but a few months before the wedding Louis realises that they don't like each other, so instead of ending the engagement two of them go head-to-head in an all out prank war.

In the battle of who will end the engagement first.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here. You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[sofoulandfairaday]

I know you’re not a big fan of CC, but I adore your takes and meta, so, how do you imagine Delphi and how would you improve her character?

Or headcanons, to put it more simply hshshs

Errr not an easy question, actually. I'm going to imagine two different scenarios for this because this character is such a blank slate that she could be taken anywhere.

Scenario n°1 - Bella&Vold die (follows canon)

Delphi was a Dark Magic experiment that Vold&Bella did for whatever reason. Either that or she was an accident (the more I think about it, though, I'm starting to believe that maybe Vold wanted to involve her in some kind of magic experiment, maybe even to get a new body/get a better grasp on immortality and he needed his own child's flesh - think Abraham and his sacrifice to God, just twisted)

They just don't have the time to do it. The Battle of Hogwarts happens suddenly when Vold realizes that Harry & Co. have the Cup, so there is just no time. We all know what happens.

In the aftermath, Lucius/Narcissa/Rodolphus/whoever tells Harry (not the Ministry, Harry specifically) about Delphi, in exchange for a better plea deal. It's up to Harry to decide what to do.

Harry (who is the same character as he was in the books, not that weird OC that has his name in CC) has a little crisis: he doesn't know what to do with this information. His first impulse is "oh no, oh God, Bellatrix and Voldemort's lovechild, let it die". I think he would tell Ron and Hermione, and Dumbledore's portrait. He also tells Andromeda (together with Narcissa - *insert their complicated reunion HERE*)

After much reflection and discussion (and Dumbledore's help, and the fact that Harry is an empath with a huge heart in canon), he would come to the conclusion that they cannot fail this child: they cannot have another Tom Riddle, shunned and abandoned by the world. They cannot let another monster be born out of neglect.

Andromeda still hates Bellatrix and she has Teddy (she needs time to love her daughter's murderer's child), Narcissa&the Malfoys have their trials going on (also hated Bellatrix and Vold by the end), Hermione has to go back to Hogwarts, so Harry & Ron raise her ???

It's mostly Kreacher, in truth. They all stay at 12 Grimmauld Place.

It takes years for all the adults in her life to check their fucking biases, but in the end, they all have a hand in raising her: Malfoys, Tonkses, and the Golden Trio. Draco likes her especially.

They keep her identity hidden for her own safety (and even just to give her a fair chance at life). They say she was Rodolphus' secret niece or something. She still has access to a part of the Lestrange fortune.

Speaking of Rodolphus, he is horrified that the girl doesn't know who her parents are (they decide they'll only tell Delphi when she's a little older), and he asks for visitation rights for years. Finally, they grant them to him for good conduct, with the promise that he'll be supervised and won't try anything funny (like prophecies or time-turners, which just do not exist in this version).

Delphi isn't stupid, though. She's incredibly magically talented, looks like Bellatrix & Tom Riddle (Rod might have cried the first time he saw her), she's a Slytherin, she can speak Parseltongue (her biggest secret, no one outside of her closest family knows) - she starts having suspicions at the age of 9. She finally asks Harry, one day, when she is 13. He tells her that he would have liked to wait, but that he never wanted to hide it from her - yes, your parents were Tom Riddle and Bellatrix Lestrange.

Of course, she knows who these people were. What they did, even just to some of the people who are closest to her (Andromeda, Hermione). She denounces their actions, and yet she feels an ache for the family she'll never know.

She'll also never be able to claim her own surname out in the open - she'd be lynched in the streets.

She starts asking about them. She always has to preface it with"I know who they were, but". Harry understands. Oh, no one understands better than him. And while Ron&Hermione don't know much, Harry tells Delphi all he's gathered on the Dark Lord in those years, especially when he was still young, bright, Tom Riddle.

Andromeda is still very hesitant to talk about Bellatrix, but Narcissa likes to show her old photograph albums, and talk about her childhood, and Rodolphus never shuts up about Bella. They tell her how talented she was, how bright, how powerful, how passionate.

They tell her how she had been conceived as a Dark Magic experiment, her father never really paid her much mind, but how her mother couldn't help but get attached - even though she fought it, even though He told her not to. She couldn't help but love that part of Him that was in her. Rodolphus had adored that child too, from the beginning.

She has always been loved, from the start. She does not become Tom Riddle 2.0

Her parents were horrible people, but they were people. She was going to be just like them: powerful, ambitious, determined, studious, the best.

I feel like she would become a teacher, like her father had half-wanted to do, many many years before. Maybe not at Hogwarts, maybe even in higher education, but she would become extremely respected in her field and is remembered as a researcher and a great witch.

Rita Skeeter or whoever tries to come out with a theory about "Voldemort's secret child" when she's 30 or around that age. She's already so respected (not to mention, Harry Potter's goddaughter) that she is able to just laugh it off. "Even if I was, suck my dick" is basically what she says (in more elegant terms, of course).

She does have her parent's temper, though. And, just like Harry, her mother's eyes.

I also like to think that she took care of Rod in his old age, after he gets finally released from Azkaban (<3). In his deathbed delirium, he sees Bellatrix and dies in a Snape-way, happily.

Scenario n°2 - Voldemort wins AU

First of all, I guess it really depends on whether Bella dies. And I'm sorry to say that Delphi's survival chances increase if Bella does die (because there's something just so heartbreaking about Vold not being able to kill Bellatrix's daughter now that she's gone, now that she's the only part of her left).

Also, now he does need a new second in command. He can find another way to reach immortality but Bella's magical skill cannot go to waste.

Who raises her?

Errr

Do the Malfoys still betray Voldemort? If they do, which leads to Bellatrix's death, they are soooo fucked. There is no way they survive.

So Rodolphus, maybe? I'm going with him.

Voldemort isn't father of the year, guys. He's hateful and bigoted and utterly unaffectionate. Also, he misses Bella, although he'd never admit to it. He never talks about her. Ever. In his twisted, dark, mind he hates her for leaving him, for letting herself get killed, for dying. She betrayed and failed him.

Rodolphus, in all his grief, cannot shut up about her. As soon as Delphi musters the courage to ask him, Pandora's box opens and she learns everything and anything about her.

I don't know how her personality evolves in this scenario. I can't imagine her being particularly stable. She vows to become like her mother, better than her mother even. She failed her father, in the end, but Delphi won't (I imagine she also thinks of Voldemort's word as Gospel).

Vold trains her, of course, as he did Bella.

He cannot help but notice her and Delphi's similarities, but also their differences. Delphi is more subtle, quieter. Like Bella, she's naturally skilled at offensive magic. Unlike Bella, she's cold. Sharper. Hides her emotions more. She's reserved, and flighty. And yet, she craves his approval just like her mother did.

She grows up quite lonely, with no friends, possibly a tad socially awkward.

I think she'd have a hard time dealing with people outside her comfort zone, but also nobody would ever treat her like they would a normal person, they'd always be too afraid. It probably gets lonely.

She would call herself either Gaunt or Black, I feel. Voldemort wouldn't like her having the Lestrange name, Rodolphus' name, but all three are pureblood houses with no heirs, so at least one of them has to be picked up again (also, unless the Malfoys have some distant cousins tucked away somewhere, they're also gone)

I never really know what to make of Voldemort wins!AUs because these characters, to me, are somewhat doomed by the narrative. There is no happiness for them, even when they win. Voldemort is so full of rage that, once England is at his feet, Harry Potter is dead, he realises just how empty immortality is. A black pit even deeper than death and yet he knows that he cannot die, because he cannot feel guilt for his crimes, and therefore if he were to pass on to the next life, there would simply be no next life. His soul is destroyed, it's eternal nothingness. So he's fucked himself, basically.

Rod dies, eventually, and she mourns him deeply. She cannot bring herself to realise that he was more of a father to her than her own father but she feels his absence, and only understands how much she took him for granted when he's no longer there.

She and her father have this weird attraction/repulsion relationship where he wants to have her close but then cannot stand it when she is. She is at the same time too much of Bellatrix and too little of Bellatrix.

Much more depressed than in the other version of events. Her father is an immortal God who can't love her or be close to her in any way that matters, she's mostly alone (when she's an adult, it's by choice, because she just can't stand other people). She's immensely powerful, much more than her other self, but it just means nothing.

Loves her mother much less, in this scenario. She is too obsessed with Vold to really care about her (much like in the original play).

I cannot really imagine a happier future if Bellatrix had lived, because I feel like Voldemort would have even less need for Delphi. I could write a very long post about why it makes absolutely no sense for either of these characters to choose to have children, so this is the best I have.

I think that Bella would have loved her daughter but never more than the Dark Lord - and that in itself is tragic.

I'm sorry if these suck, I've tried my best.

[beezusvreeland]

a very good idea - chapter 10

summary: After your boyfriend cheats on you at a party, you break up with him, who tells you nobody else is willing to be with you like him. You decide to prove him wrong, with a little help from a new friend.

ship: miguel o'hara x f!reader

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Chapter 10

“Thanks for coming”, Miguel said when you sat by his side. You made a point to keep a distance, not sure how things would play out. You spent a few hours deciding whether or not to meet him at the park, but ultimately put on some sweats, sneakers and left the house before you could change your mind. 

It’s a windy sunday, and you have to twist your hair and put it inside your hoodie to keep it from flying all over the place. There were a few people around, mostly walking with their dogs. You and Miguel were the only ones sitting in the grass. You braced yourself, watching the pets and the leaves falling, Miguel had his elbow on top of his raised knee, hand messing with his hair. You can feel his gaze searching for you and then looking away. But if he wanted to say something, he would have to initiate it, you decided. You already went through the trouble of leaving a party in the middle of the night and your cozy bed on a cold afternoon.

Miguel let out a breath. 

“Last night took a weird turn”, he started. 

“To say the least.”

“I hm…I was way out of line…And I’m sorry for that.”

You turned to the side, your eyes finally meeting his. Miguel didn’t look too good. Still a beautiful boy carved in marble, but tired, with puffy eyes and very messy hair. He was wearing dark jeans pants, a black sweatshirt and a very distressed pair of red Chucks. His eyebrows were furrowed, he looked like he was trying really hard to understand something. 

“I guess I’m just confused. Out of nowhere you break up with your boyfriend and ask me if I can pretend to be your boyfriend for some undisclosed reason and that never actually happened, but we got closer and I thought we were becoming friends, and then at the party in one moment…”, Miguel was speaking so fast you had a hard time keeping up with him. “You know when…during the concert…shit, things seemed good, like, really good and then I left for a moment and came back to find you chatting with your ex, the one I thought you hated, but apparently not so much. I just…fuck!”

There was no way of pinpointing only one of the emotions that were going through your head. Your blood was boiling full of anger, confusion and so many other things you couldn’t identify. 

“Well, I did ask you to be my fake boyfriend, which in highsight was really stupid and a total impulse after a break up, and I’m sorry for that, I guess, even though you said yes”, your tone was pure frustration. “You didn’t know why I asked you, we weren’t friends before or anything and you knew I had just broken up with someone, and you said yes! It was just a stupid proposition, you could’ve changed your mind, told me to fuck off at any point or stopped hanging out with me. It’s not like you haven’t done it before.”

“I…I…”

“You know, Miguel, I get your confusion and I’m sorry if I caused any harm, okay? But I’m fucking confused too. About all the above and also why you keep acting like you had no idea about my loneliness and what I’ve been through before high school. You were there! You saw the whole thing happening!” The next part, you said in a lower voice, refusing to cry one more time: “And you didn’t do anything. You watched as your friends and even girlfriends bullied me and did nothing.”

And there it was. Your main frustration with Miguel, one that never left you, even as you started to develop feelings for him. Maybe it was the whole reason why you picked him of all people to be your pretend boyfriend. In some twisted way, you wanted to understand what he did — rather, what he didn’t do —, you felt like he owed you for turning his back on you so many times. Harry had told you no one was ever going to want you or stand you. Your ex used words, Miguel acted like it. 

“I guess I resent you for it.” That was the most you ever said to him, definitely the most you’ve ever spoken, to anyone, about your middle school years and the deep scars you were left with. 

Miguel looked surprised, sadness taking over his teary eyes. You didn’t know what you expected to find, but tears were not it. He looked ahead for a few moments before speaking again. 

“You are right…God, I was such a stupid kid. I was just scared, you know? The whole time.”

“But you always looked so confident. People were drawn to you because of it.”

“And I was convinced that if I didn’t follow what they were saying or doing, they would find out the truth, that I had no idea of who I was. It was easier being who they wanted me to be”, Miguel said, he almost sounded…ashamed. He turned to you. “I admired you, you know?”

“Sure”, you scoffed. “Come on now.”

“No, really! You have always been yourself, in spite of anyone or anything”, his intensity said he was telling you the truth. “I knew people weren’t very nice to you, but I had no idea of how bad it actually was. Hey, look at me”, Miguel grabbed your hand. “I only learned that wasn’t normal behavior once I started hanging out with Pete and the guys. If I knew then what I know now…God, I would have never looked away, I would have stayed by your side, I swear.”

It was a lot to process. His words were sweet and you really wanted to believe them. 

“I should’ve done that as soon as you landed me a pen for the first time”, he said quietly, squeezing your hand. 

“Do you remember that?” You had assumed he had just forgotten it, given the way he acted during the years after that.

“Are you kidding?”, Miguel let out a soft chuckle. “A little boy was devastated that day, having just discovered that his parents decided to divorce each other and that his dad was going away. He was so sad he barely packed his things for school. A teacher shamed him for it, but this little girl, the one with the glasses and the desk organized with a notebook with beautiful handwriting and supplies, was kind to him and made his day less horrible. He never forgot about that.”

Still holding his hand, you watched as tears fell from his eyes. Your heart ached a bit less and you felt a massive weight being lifted from your shoulders. 

“Well…you’re welcome”, you said, a timid smile on your face. 

Miguel laughed, looking at you with an expression you could only describe as tender. His thumb started circling your knuckles. Both of you shifted your gaze to your hands holding each other. 

“Do you forgive me?”, he whispered. 

“I do”, you whispered back. 

“What now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is your proposition still on?”

“No, I think we already established it was very stupid.”

“Oh”, he sounded disappointed.

“We could try to get to know each other, since we’ve never actually been friends”, you suggested.

“No more pretending?”

“No more pretending.”

“I’d like that”, he squeezed your hand once more.

***

On monday, after school, you go to a coffee shop with Jess and Gwen to catch up. Sitting at the edge of her chair, the blonde girl beamed as she recalled what happened at the party.

“I was talking to some people when Miles, all of the sudden, showed up and asked me to dance”, she said with excitement. “And I was like ‘this isn’t a dancing song’, there was a terrible playlist on the speakers, so he went away for a second and all of the sudden, In da Club, by 50 cent, started playing…It was so silly, but so fun.”

“Honestly, it looked like everyone at the party woke up from a trance. People came to the living room and started dancing”, Jess took a sip from her iced latte. “It was one of those moments where I look around and think: ‘God, so this is the whole enjoy being young thing is about’”.

“Are you sure it was the dancing or all the kissing you did while dancing?”, Gwen raised an eyebrow.

“What?”, you gasped. “How am I hearing about this just now? How was it? Who was the guy?”

“Well, honey, I don’t kiss and tell”, Jess teased.

“Okay, I guess blondie is telling, then.”

Gwen looked at Jess, then turned to you, giving you a mischievous smile.

“Ben O’Reilly.”

“Jessica!”, your sudden scream makes the baristas roll their eyes and say something like ‘My God, I hate teenagers’. 

Jess used her hands to hide her face, while Gwen couldn’t stop laughing. 

“I don’t even know where to start…Jessica, my love, this is so random!”

“I know, I know”, she uncovered her flushed face. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I mean…why him of all people?”

“Well, he is really hot.”

“I guess we have to agree with that.”

“What did you even talk about? I know he is a bad guy, but I can’t stand him for more than a few minutes. He just loves himself so much”, Gwen shook her head.

“Oh, blondie, we did very little talking”, Jess laughed, looking at her coffee. “Let’s just say that he is very good at expressing himself without words. Like, very good.”

You were happy, amused even, to see your dearest friend enjoy herself so much. Jess’ standards for dating had always been so high, you couldn’t have imagined a party hookup with Ben O’Reilly. 

“Now that we told you our party experiences, wanna tell us what happened to you, honey?”, she turned to you, her expression turning serious. 

“Miles told me you weren’t feeling well and that your sister picked up. I was really worried”, Gwen said.

You looked at your friends, trying to think of a way of telling them where you were at without giving too much away. There was so much you still wanted to figure out.

“I don’t feel comfortable talking in depth about it right now…”

Gwen and Jess nodded. 

“We understand”, Gwen pats your knee.

“What I can say is that Miguel and I had a fight and after that I was just so drawn out, I decided to go home.”

“You could’ve reached out to us at the party, we would go with you in a heartbeat”, Gwen said. 

“I know that, blondie. But if I did, you wouldn’t have experienced all these beautiful memories you just told me about.”

Gwen sighed. 

“But, honey, and it’s okay if you don’t want to go further, you and Miguel seemed to be doing well during the concert. You looked like…like a couple in love.”

You shifted in your chair. Was that what it looked like? Because you felt like it, there was no point in denying it anymore, but you thought maybe Miguel didn’t feel the same way. You still aren’t sure about it. 

***

Even though the deal was off, you decided that you’d still help Miguel with his english grades. You had avoided him during the start of the week, not feeling ready to talk again after the conversation you had at the park. 

There was someone seated at your usual tutoring table outside, but it wasn’t Miguel. It was Peter.

“You are in need of assistance with your english grades too?”, you elbowed him softly. 

He chuckled, shaking his head. 

“I hear you are a great teacher, so I just might accept the offer.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Oh, you know, the streets”, Peter seemed down compared to his high energy self. Still, he would not let the opportunity to banter pass him by, no matter at what cost. 

“Are these streets tall and beautiful?”, you seated in front of him.

“Yes, exactly those ones”, he remained quiet for a few moments, then looked up at you. “It’s not my business what you two have been up to or what your relationship status is. However, I do care about Miguel’s happiness.”

You gulped. Deep inside, you felt the need to be liked by Peter. Not only because he was great and had been nothing but the nicest to you, but because he was Miguel’s best friend. He obviously had a huge impact on him, like Miguel told you.

“I think you are good for him, you bring up his brighter sides. It’s nice to see that”, he gave you a soft smile. “I guess what I want is to ask you to please be careful with his heart.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t give him false hopes just to let him down. He likes you a whole lot.”

“I like him too, Pete.”

“No, buddy, Miguel doesn’t just like you. He has had feelings for you ever since I met him. Probably even before that.”

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a very good idea playlist