#happy pride month here's some aromantic man-shaped beings

[edosianorchids901]

The Ways of Love

@flashfictionfridayofficial prompt - "in the heart"

Cw: blood and injury

As Crowley fell back, arrow sticking out of his chest, he vaguely thought it was a prime opportunity for a joke. Something something, shot in the heart, fall in love? Was that how it went? Eros, Cupid, whatever?

He crashed into the ground and laid there, staring at the blue sky. Fluffy white clouds danced along, herded by a gentle breeze. It was a nice view.

Nice place, honestly. Meadow with flowers and everything. Or at least, it had been a nice place before he started bleeding all over it.

Woozy, he turned to look at the grass. Yep. That was a lot of blood. And that sure was an arrow sticking out of his chest.

“Crowley! Oh dear!” Aziraphale wavered into view above him, eyes wide. He was carrying a bow. “Are you quite all right?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Crowley trudged through the pain-hazed bog of his mind in search of a proper joke. “Cupid.”

“What?” Frowning, Aziraphale bent over him. “What about Cupid?”

“You make a bloody awful one,” Crowley complained, and then passed out.

Well, more or less passed out. He was vaguely aware of being moved, of being in loads of pain, and of someone holding his hand.

The hand holding was nice. He liked it. Or at least, he would have liked it if he was conscious enough to appreciate it, and also if Aziraphale hadn’t just shot him.

For that matter, why had Aziraphale shot him? It was very unusual. Sure, he and Aziraphale were technically enemies, but they didn’t generally go around shooting each other. What was that about? Why would he do that?

Getting more offended as he thought about it, Crowley opened his eyes. He was on a boat or something, based on the gentle motion and the sails blocking the sun. Aziraphale sat beside him, holding his hand.

Crowley blinked a few times, then squinted at Aziraphale. “Well? Well?”

“Well what?” Aziraphale asked.

“Well, why did you shoot me?”

“I did not shoot you!”

Crowley cast a very deliberate look at his chest. There wasn’t an arrow sticking out of it anymore, which was nice, but bloody bandages covered the area. “Someone did. And you had a bow.”

“Yes, well. I-I’m afraid I was with a hunting party. You know, of noblemen and such. I was attempting to convince them to be more charitable to the poor.” Looking embarrassed, Aziraphale patted his hand. “One of the humans in my party shot you.”

That did make more sense. “On purpose, was it?”

“I’m afraid so. They thought you were a poacher.”

“Why would they think that? I didn’t have a bloody bow or anything, did I?”

“You might have set snares.”

“Right. Right.” Crowley glanced around. “So. Boat?”

“Mhm. It’s quite a nice boat, really. I think you’ll appreciate it much more, once you feel better. We’re going up the Thames to a very nice hall.” Aziraphale gazed at him for a moment. “What did you mean earlier?”

Considering the frequency with which he and Aziraphale resumed conversations that they’d started years prior, Crowley had no idea what that meant. “You’re gonna have to be a little more specific than that, angel.”

“Oh. Um. Yes.” Aziraphale blushed. “What did you mean about Cupid, just before you fainted?”

Oh, that. “I was trying to make a joke.”

“About what?”

“About you shooting me in the heart.”

Aziraphale gave him an indignant look. “But I didn’t shoot you!”

“Right. Right. But… joke.” Gosh, Crowley still felt awful. “Anyway, being shot with Cupid’s arrow is supposed to make you fall in love or whatever, right?”

“Right,” Aziraphale said cautiously. “Are you flirting with me, Crowley?”

“No! Definitely not.” For a moment, Crowley stared at him. “Unless you want me to.”

At that, Aziraphale smiled. “I am deeply flattered, my dear, but I’m afraid I don’t really, um… I don’t have much of an interest in romance outside of stories.”

“Perfect. Me neither.” Crowley grinned and tried to sit up. He quickly stopped grinning and laid back, breathless with pain. “Ow. Okay, no moving.”

“I do think not moving is a better idea. Actually, now that you’re not so weak, I ought to try to heal that up.”

“Ngh.” Crowley laid there, thinking. “What if I flirt with you non-romantically? I mean. I mean. We are sort of partners or whatever, right? Arrangement and everything?”

Aziraphale’s expression went very soft, and he nodded as he fussed over the wound. He peeled the bandages back and bent, studying it. “Yes, I suppose we are. As much as an angel and a demon can be partners, anyway.”

“Yeah.” As far as Crowley was concerned, their individual sides really weren’t turning out to matter all that much. “So. Flirting? Non-romantically?”

“One moment.” Aziraphale pressed his hand to Crowley’s chest, right over his heart. “No more hole.”

Angelic power flooded through the wound, and Crowley hissed at the slight burn. But then, the overall pain dropped, and he relaxed. “Gosh. Thanks, that helps.”

“Of course. Quite happy to help. Since my attempts to encourage kindness and such among the humans seem to have failed, I suppose I’ll have to do it myself.” Smiling again, Aziraphale took his hand and squeezed. “Anyway. Flirt away.”

Crowley opened his mouth, then closed it. He frowned.

“Well?” Aziraphale prompted.

“Er.” Crowley sighed. “I have absolutely no idea how to flirt. Do you?”

“Not in the slightest.” Aziraphale patted his hand. “Why don’t we get some wine and have a nice argument about human charity instead?”

Crowley grinned. He already loved Aziraphale, in his own way, and he didn’t need to be shot with an arrow for that love to kick in. “Perfect. You start.”

[maryellencarter]

Queer asks copied from @corelliaxdreaming :

1. Is your family accepting? -- Hah. No. My bio-family is not accepting at allllll, so I went and got myself an internet family instead.

2. What is your sexuality? -- Weird. The strongest part of my identity is Aromantic. I seem to be pretty much allosexual, maybe bisexual; most of the people I find myself attracted to are men within a fairly specific category (physically fit to muscular, at least as competent as me, kind, and often a bit dorky; I also have a weakness for clever hands and sexy voices), but the women I'm attracted to cover a much broader range of appearances and personalities. I fall pretty much in the category of the one Tumblr post that said something like "Being bisexual means you're attracted to three specific fictional men and all women", even though the attraction to men... feels... more attraction-y? I'm still really struggling to figure that difference out.

3. What is your gender identity? -- Sort of genderfluid, sort of genderqueer, sort of maybe agnostically agender? I used to ID really strongly as a trans man, and then after a year or so of being accepted, I found myself turning female. I bounced back and forth for a lot of years but seem to have settled down at a point where it doesn't especially matter to me most of the time. Which is a lot more comfortable than hurtling around to different points on the gender spectrum without warning.

4. Favorite color? -- Blue. Royal blue, mostly. That really deep sky blue you get sometimes during the fall. A bunch of really bright colors.

5. When did you find out your sexuality? -- Oh, it's been a process. For a long time I identified as asexual. It took me years to figure out I was actually romance-repulsed, and more years to figure out I had any attraction to women. I'm still sort of confused by that part. Like I mostly just want to look at them being pretty, but I also definitely want to look at their boobs? Maybe touch some boobs? I'm honestly not sure.

6. What do you wish you could tell your past self? -- Oh lord. Sexuality and gender wise? I'm not sure young me could have been hurried along the process of self discovery. I'd really like to tell her she was being abused and gaslighted and that she needed to take her great-aunt's offer of a free ride and major in geology *before* she broke her health, and maybe also tell her she needed a CPAP machine, but she might just think I was a temptation of the Devil. Also I'm not sure if the CPAP machine was an option before Obamacare. Or the psych meds she needed, either.

7. Have you changed labels since realizing you were queer? -- Oh yeah, all over the place. Asexual, trans, genderqueer, biromantic (for about a week), aromantic allosexual bisexual maybe pansexual... some people apparently even count PCOS as an intersex condition, since I have a lot more beard and chest hair than is normal for perisex women, to the point that I always have to explain to a new doctor that I'm not in fact on testosterone, my body just does that. I've never quite felt right claiming the intersex label, but I've tried on a lot of others. I think my header may still say "queer on every conceivable axis".

8. How was your day? -- Um. I got stuck wandering Cracked.com for most of it. Then I drove up to check out my pulmonologist's office, which doesn't *say* they're closed for the pandemic, so I guess I'll go up again on Thursday and poke them about whether my appointment still exists. Then I went and wandered around a very large very dead mall on that side of town, hatched a bunch of pokeymans, then came home and ate some split pea soup.

9. Do you have any queer friends irl? -- I don't have *any* friends irl, and it's kicking my ass. I have like one or two coworkers I could hypothetically hang out with outside of work if we weren't so all-fired busy. But if we're talking "friends I have seen irl at some point", I'm pretty sure they're all queer. They might also be limited to @tigerkat24 and one other person who doesn't use Tumblr, I'm not sure.

10. What's your favorite hobby? -- Probably knitting. It's soft and squishy and brightly colored, and it can be as brainless or as complex as I could possibly want.

11. Who's the best queer icon in your opinion? -- I honestly don't have an opinion. I've always been too far outside the community to figure out whomst the options were.

12. Which pride flags do you like the most design / color wise? -- Pansexual. I'd probably have a lot more pride merch if I IDed as pan, but it just never feels like it fits quite right.

13. Do you wish you could change any pride flags? -- YES. The aro flag is the exact same colors as the agender flag, just in a different arrangement, and it pisses me off because you can't distinguish aro merch from agender merch unless it's specifically flag shaped / has the stripe arrangement. I liked the yellow/orange/green/black aro flag, I found it much more cheerful, but apparently it was too similar to something Rastafarian. But you can't find alloaro flag merch at *all*, even though it has the green and yellow, which I like.

14. Are you openly out? -- Can't really help it, since I legally changed my name to a distinctively masculine one back in the day, and I do not remotely pass as male. So anybody who both sees or hears me and knows my legal name, knows there's *something* queerish going on. (I go by a gender neutral name these days, but haven't yet been arsed to change it legally because it's an entire hassle and a half.)

15. Are you comfortable with yourself? -- Mneh. I'm not *un*comfortable with my gender and sexuality, particularly. Sometimes I wish I could pass as male, sometimes I wish I could have cute cleavage. Sometimes I tie myself in knots with my feelings about women.

16. Do you experience dysphoria? -- I used to, very strongly. It hasn't been very aggressive lately.

17. Bottom, top, or verse? -- *shrugs* I guess I'd be a switch or "verse" because I'm down for whatever.

18. Are you femme, butch, or neither? -- I swing wildly between wishing to present Extremely Butch in a lumberjack style, which is impractical in the Southwest, or wishing to present Extremely Femme but being unable to do so, and tying myself in knots over the inability. (I can't wear femmey shoes due to my stupid feet, I can't have pierced ears as they get infected and the one pair of nice lightweight handcrafted earrings I paid $50 for is gone with the rest of my shit, I'm too lorge to find any nice dresses or be able to like try on prom dresses and stuff, I have a tendency to break jewelry as I'm extremely rough on my possessions... etc.) In practice my gender presentation is Fat Slob. :P

19. Do you bind? -- Not technically, but I do wear cheap sports bras which tend to flatten rather than lift or shape.

20. Do you shave? -- Only by necessity. I shave my face when I remember, because my beard looks extremely douchey and rather like pubes. Occasionally I shave my cleavage if I'm trying to present femmey. I pretty much never shave anything else unless the hair is getting Smelly.

21. If you could date anyone you wanted, who would it be? -- Um. Good question. The thing is, I am fairly strongly romance-repulsed, but I do want and enjoy queerplatonic relationships, so I would draw a distinction here between "dating" someone and being "in a relationship" with them.

22. Are you in a relationship? -- Yes, in fact.

23. Describe your partner. -- @camshaft22 . Um. She's very much the Hobbie to my Wes. She's very snarky and dies a lot and I love her very much.

24. Have you ever dated anyone of the same gender? -- Given that we're both genderfluid, I would say I'm in a relationship with someone of the same gender, yes.

25. Dated anyone of another gender? -- I've never dated or been in a relationship with anyone else, so I guess the answer is no.

26. Tell me a random fact about yourself! -- I always use this one, but I once lived in four different states (mostly non-contiguous) within a calendar month.

27. Do you own any pride flags / merch? -- No. I used to have a whole-ass collection that I added to every Pride, and then I lost all my damn shit and haven't had the heart to start looking again. Well, I have a rainbow necklace Kat sent me which is pretty nice. Can't wear it till my damn sunburn heals, though. :P

28. Have you ever been to a pride parade? -- Yes, when I lived in Bisbee. They have quite an excellent Pride which draws people from as far off as Denver.

29. Any advice to someone who isn't out or is exploring themselves? -- Take your time. It's okay if things change. You don't have to solve yourself all at once. It's more important to find people who will accept whoever you turn out to be.

30. Pineapple on pizza? -- I've honestly never tried it. Part of me feels like I should, in order to develop an opinion, and part of me feels like I'm just as happy being outside of that particular debate.

[queertazsecretsanta]

A gift for @motherfuckingmagicbrian, created by @one-true-houselight!

Title: Craft Night

Summary: It’s the last Queer Meetup on the moon before Candlenights, and the group is making ornaments! A healthy dose of happy queer people, a good splash of gentle ribbing, and a smattering of angst. Enjoy, and Happy Candlenights!

Magnus put a pile of meatballs on his plate before going to sit down across from Taako. Taako looked at the plate and snorted. “Think you have enough meatballs, Magnus?”

“Well, I was planning on sharing-” Before Magnus could finish, both Carey and Killian cheered and reached over and grabbed meatballs off his plate.

“Hey, throw me one,” Avi called from next to Taako. Carey grabbed another meatball and tossed it to him.

Taako huffed before saying, “Hey y’all, could we make a concerted effort to not throw saucy projectiles while we’re working on art?” He grabbed a napkin from the pile on the table and made a tent for his ornament with exaggerated annoyance.

Johann walked over from the food table and leaned over Taako’s shoulder. “Taako, you’re a wizard.”

“And?”

“You could clean it with magic.”

“Spell slots, my good man-”

“Isn’t the cleaning one a cantrip?” Taako glared as Avi tried (and failed) to look innocent. While maintaining eye contact, the wizard reached across the table, grabbed a meatball, and threw it at Avi, who caught it with ease and ate it while laughing. The others, including Taako, joined in. As they quieted down, Johann sat next to Avi and grabbed a paper plate.

The six friends sat in the middle of a long table with crafting supplies that were once neatly laid out down its entirety. The other members of the Bureau of Balance’s Queer Meetup sat on both sides of the group, laughing and working with the paint, markers, and other tools. The activity of the night was making ornaments for the fast-approaching Candlenights.

While everyone else started shaping their paper plates, Magnus reached into his pocket and grabbed a piece of wood that had clearly been made to be the base of his ornament. Carey looked over as Magnus reached for paint. “Man, that looks awesome! I wish I could work with wood like that.”

Magnus smiled as he mixed some paint on a piece of paper. “Thanks! It’s a labor of love.” He carefully took a thin brush and started to outline a bear’s head on the wood in purple.

“When did you get started with carpentry, Magnus?” Avi asked asked as he traced a cannon onto his plate.

“Well, I worked with a carpenter back in Raven’s Roost…” Magnus’ voice trailed off.

Avi’s eyes widened at Magnus’ hesitance, saying, “Oh shit man, I didn’t mean to bring that up-”

Magnus cut him off. “No, no, it’s fine. It’s not that, it’s… that’s the last time I really remembered learning carpentry, but I went into that job with base knowledge.” He shrugged. “I guess I just picked it up as I grew up.”

Everyone went back to work on their ornaments in silence for a few moments, letting the tension ease out of the space. Killian finished cutting out a heart, then handed it to Carey to cut in half to create their bases. Taako looked over at Magnus’ ornament. “Oh my god, you’re doing a bear. How did I forget to do our race animals?” He looked down at his ornament, a swirly rainbow pattern he had enchanted to sparkle. “How can I add in the noble mongoose?” The others chuckled as he grabbed a piece of paper and tried to draw the animal on it.

One of the guards further down the table perked up at the mention of the race. “I don’t think I’ve seen you guys since the race! That was so cool!” Magnus turned excitedly to them and started chatting about the race as he filled in detail on the bear.

“Well, of course we all know the most important player in that race.” Taako paused for dramatic effect. “Garyl.”

Avi and Johann, who had been thoroughly filled in on the race when the three reclaimers had returned, turned to have their own conversation as battlewagon talk swept over the whole table.

“Are you really making a cannon ornament, Avi?”

“Well, yeah! I putting it on the cannon, after all.”

Johann laughed. “Not on your, you know, Candlenights bush?”

“Nah, I want to spruce up the ol’ pea shooter,” Avi said with a smile. Johann watched as he seemed to trace something being shot from the cannon.

“That doesn’t look like a transport ball.”

“That’s because it’s not.” When Avi didn’t elaborate, Johann raised an eyebrow, much to Avi’s delight. “You’ll see when it’s done.”

Johann couldn’t help but laugh; Avi was a delightful person, and Johann was glad to be his friend, and to get to laugh at his jokes, and to talk to him about music, and…

“What are you doing? That’s a lot of black and grey, buddy.” Avi’s question snapped Johann out of his thoughts. Thoughts he should really dissect, but not tonight.

“I’m just doing the more neutral colors first, then adding the colors later. See, this is gonna be the ace and aro flags fading into a music staff, and I’m trying to draw a violin over here.” Johann pointed out the elements on his half painted ornament as Avi nodded. 

“Music staff’s what the notes go on, right?” Johann had been teaching Avi a little more about music; Avi not only wanted to be a little more musically inclined, but it meant he got to see the bard more often. Johann tended to be on the more subdued side, but when he talked about music, his eyes lit up. Avi loved it when that happened.

Avi’s thoughts drifted as Johann nodded happily, but they were brought to a halt as he looked at where Johann had indicated the ace flag was going. “Hey, uh, Johann?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you did the ace flag backwards,” Avi said while pointing at the ornament.

Johann’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding. I thought the black was on the bottom.” Avi shook his head. “Well, fuck.” He started laughing, and Avi joined in.

“I mean, you can just say it’s an artistic interpretation,” Avi joked through giggling.

“The most important rule of any artist!” Johann said with a smile, “Everything was intentional, even mistakes!” They both cracked up and continued decorating their ornaments.

“How’s your mongoose coming, Taako?” Race talk had died down significantly and everyone had gone back to quietly talking and decorating.

“Fantastically, my good man.” Taako held up the mongoose, which he was just cutting out. “It looks like it could come alive in my hands.”

“If that came alive in your hand, I’d run away screaming,” said Killian, who looked over from where she was drawing something colorful onto her half of the heart.

“Well of course you would, mongeese are formidable creatures!” Taako jokingly made the paper animal walk up to Killian and growl.

“Is it mongeese?” Carey asked with a frown.

“It sounds better than mongooses,” reasoned Magnus.

“But maybe it’s like moose, where it’s both singular and plural?”

“Carey, my dear,” Taako said, “I see your point, but how could you try to deprive the world of the joy that comes from the word mongeese?”

Carey cackled. “Fair enough, my dude.”

Taako grabbed the glue and looked over at Magnus, who had finished his bear and was adding in the colors of the trans and bi flags. For some reason as he looked at the former, he felt a tug at the back of his mind. Magnus looked up to see Taako staring at his ornament with an inscrutable look.

“You ok, Taako?” Taako seemed to shake himself back to reality.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s…nothing. Just my brain being weird.”

“Alright.” Magnus smiled. “Hey, our new digs have room for more decorations. Think Garfield sells pride flags?” Taako grinned.

“I bet he does! Or maybe he could order some.” Taako turned to Carey and Killian. “Hey, does Fantasy Costco sell pride stuff?”

“FANTASY COSTCO, WHERE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!” Magnus suddenly yelled, making Taako wince. Carey, Killian, and some people from other parts of the table joined in for “GOT A DEAL FOR YOOOOOOU!” as Taako put his head in his hands.

“That jingle will kill me. I will die.”

Killian laughed, saying, “To actually answer your question, Taako, Fantas-”

“Don’t say it, he’ll sing again.”

“Ok, Garfield’s store does has some general stuff, and he’s said in the past he’d order things for people if they wanted something specific.”

“Yeah,” Johann piped up, “he’s ordering me some ace stuff. I’m getting socks!”

“Fantastic,” Taako said with a grin. “Our apartment will be popping.” He finished glueing his mongoose to his ornament, then held it up to show it off. The original sparkly rainbows worked surprisingly well as a background for the furry addition. He grinned at the chorus of oohs. “Thank you, thank you. Now, I would of course be willing to provide my expert advice to you all if you so desire.”

Johann and Avi had been chatting about Bureau business as they decorated, but a natural silence had fallen for the past couple of minutes. Avi looked over at Johann, who seemed to be staring into space. “Your ornament looks good, Johann.” Johann looked over at Avi and smiled before looking at his ornament. The flags and music staffs were finished, and he was almost done with the detailing on the violin.

“Thanks. I still can’t believe I got the flag wrong,” Johann said with a chuckle. “I guess I only found it recently, so it makes sense I would mess up.”

“Yeah,” Avi said, “yours isn’t like mine, where we get taught the order in school. ROY G BV!” Johann laughed and continued painting. He felt calm, but more of a happy calm than normal. Not that he was normally sad, but normally he was more…neutral, he supposed. His job sometimes got a little mundane when he wasn’t having to make the world forget him…he shook himself out of that. Dwelling on that fact wasn’t healthy.

“I’m glad you did find it though.” Avi’s suddenly serious tone brought Johann back.

“Found what?”

“Your flags. Everyone should get to be themselves, and get to celebrate it.” Johann smiled. While being asexual or aromantic wasn’t looked down upon or anything, it was still not as well known as other identities. Hell, he hadn’t heard of it until a few months ago, when he was hanging out with Avi.

Avi and Johann were laying on the quad, giggling and passing a flask between them. It was a late evening in spring, the slight chill in the air warded off by the flask’s contents.

“Hey Johann,” Avi whispered, “you ever have a girl? Or a guy? Or someone else?”

“Not really.” Johann spoke in what he clearly thought was also a whisper, saying, “I never really clicked with anyone, I guess.”

“Really? Man, whoever you like is really missing out.” Avi immediately blushed, but Johann didn’t seem to react to the comment, instead getting lost in thought.

“Whoever I like. Right. Here’s the thing…” Avi pushed himself into a sitting position to look at Johann. The bard had never mentioned his sexuality in the past, but had laughed at Avi’s near-constant gay jokes (mostly variations on “I can shoot this cannon straight, but that’s the only straight thing I can do!”), so Avi had always assumed he was queer in some way, but…

“I don’t know, man. I…when I think about relationships, I can see myself with anyone…kind of? But it’s not like I see someone and go ‘yeah, I want to do things with you!’, it’s more, like, I want to hang with people and talk but…I don’t know, I’m not making sense.” Johann finally looked up at Avi. Avi was surprised to see fear in his eyes.

“Hey, no, it’s fine. What you’re describing, I have friends like that.”

Johann’s eyes widened, and voice lost all pretense of whispering. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, it sounds like you’re ace. Maybe aro too.” Johann sat up and listened intently as Avi explained that yeah, some people don’t experience attraction, and he felt like a weight was lifting off his shoulders he never knew was there. As Avi finished, Johann felt like pieces were falling into place around him, and it was wonderful, but it was also so much-

“Hey, you ok?” Johann shrugged? “Want a hug?” The bard nodded. “Bring it in, my guy.” And the two sat next to each other, embracing, as Johann processed that there were words for him, that he wasn’t just off, wasn’t just missing something. It was a while before Avi spoke again.

“If you want, we could call some of my friends and you could talk to them too.”

“That would be great,” Johann said into Avi’s shoulder. He laughed. “But maybe not now. It’s like…” He tried to check his watch, but found it wasn’t on his wrist. “Shit, it’s, um,” he floundered before staring intently at the sky.

“Shit, dude, can you tell the time by the stars?”

After a long pause, Johann responded. “No.” Avi started laughing. “But I thought I’d try, I guess? Fuck. Well, it’s late, and I’m drunk and having life changing revelations. We can call them tomorrow. Tomorrow?”

“We should be able to do that.”

“Thank you, Avi.” Avi squeezed his shoulder, not trusting himself to speak as tears streamed down his face.

Magnus smiled as he carefully finished writing ‘Happy Candlenights!’ on a light grey ribbon. He checked his ornament’s paint to find it was still tacky, so he set the ribbon down and started to look at the other’s creations. Carey was detailing a line of rainbow daggers through the center of her half-heart, separating the words ‘Happy’ and ‘Candlenights’ written in a swirly hand. Killian was drawing simple ducks along the border of her ornament. She seemed to be letting a rainbow lollipop dry in the center.

From his angle, Magnus couldn’t quite see Avi’s or Johann’s, but figured they would show them off eventually. He sat back and gave a contented sigh. Taako looked up. “Everything ok, big guy?”

“Oh yeah,” Magnus assured, “I’m just happy. I haven’t been in one place long enough to be part of a Queer group in a while, and I’m just glad to be here with all of you.” He smiled at everyone as he continued, “I don’t know if I realized how much I missed having something like this. It’s…” He paused, trying to find the words. Finally, he simply said, “It’s hard to describe. Sorry for being sappy.”

“Nah, don’t apologize Magnus. This is a really positive space, and I’m glad you’re feeling it,” Killian said with a smile. She reached over and grabbed Magnus’ shoulder reassuringly. Across the table, Taako tried to wipe his eyes without people noticing. It didn’t work, and Carey passed him a clean napkin.

“I’m fine, really,” he said as he wiped his eyes again and Carey held his free hand, “Magnus just had to go and be emotional.” Everyone chuckled before Taako continued, “But, yeah. I, uh…didn’t exactly cultivate companionship as well as one might hope, before this. And it’s nice. It’s like it fills a hole I didn’t even know was there.” And Taako felt that peculiar sadness he sometimes got, but he also felt a peace, looking at the faces around him. “And as much as I love all my friends I have, there’s something about hanging out with people like me, at least every so often, that’s important.”

By this point, Avi and Johann had looked up and were nodding at what Taako had said. The six reached out and held the others-hands, shoulders, whatever they could reach-and smiled at each other, not really doing much about the tears running down their faces. After a bit, they mostly untangled themselves, and Avi spoke up.

“Hey, I need people who will appreciate my gay jokes!” As everyone laughed, he held up his ornament, which depicted the cannon. But instead of shooting out a transport ball, it was shooting out a rainbow flag. “See, it can’t even shoot straight!”

The whole table laughed harder. Everyone started showing off their completed ornaments as Magnus carefully glued his ‘Happy Candlenights’ ribbon above the bear on his own. Once they had all sufficiently appreciated their friends’ art, they all started helping clean up the table, stacking unused supplies to be put away, throwing away dirty paper, and washing paint brushes. Soon, the room was clear and people started plating leftovers to take home. The six friends waved goodbye and wandered back to their beds, ready to sleep. Their ornaments hung on their bushes (besides Avi’s, which hung off the main cannon), a testament to who they were and who they loved.

[arotechno]

Aromantic-Official’s Pride Month 2018 Questions!

It’s time for me to finally answer the weekly pride month questions set up by @aromantic-official! I realize it’s the last week of pride month and I’m only doing these now, but I’m a mod. So I get to break the rules. ;)

I apologize in advance, as this post is going to be a monster.

June 1-2: Pride Month Kickoff!

1. What aro pride merch do you have and/or want?

As of right now, all I’ve got is an aro bracelet that my friend made me for my birthday and a green aro ring that I got for a dollar. I would like to get my hands on an aro flag, and some pins or something... but I don’t have the money to throw at pride merch right now! Subtle merch is also good, as I’m out to precisely 3 people offline.

2. What are some of your favorite aro-friendly songs? (Feel free to make a playlist!)

Here. Or for more aro playlists besides mine, my aro jams tag.

3. What are your favorite arospec symbols?

I guess just the flag (the version that I use in my icon)? Arrow symbolism is also cool. Or, if you’re from the arocalypse crowd: papos. Although that might be a dated reference now...

(weeks 1-4 under the cut because I’m nice)

Questions for Week One (June 3-9):

1. How did you realize you were aro/arospec? How long have you known?

It was the spring of 2014, when I was a freshman in high school. For most of my life, I never really thought about or questioned my orientation. I figured I would know what I was when I felt it. But I always knew I didn’t get crushes, and figured that wasn’t weird and that I’d get them eventually... That didn’t end up happening, as you might imagine. I was never ashamed of who I was, though--not until people made me feel that way, and I realized maybe I really was different or weird. Thankfully, I had stumbled across asexuality, and consequently aromanticism (this was 2014; if you think it’s hard to find information about aromanticism outside of ace spaces now, think about how it was back then), before that point. It just didn’t really click until somewhere down the line. And even then, I waffled on aromanticism vs. asexuality for quite a bit, feeling more drawn to the ace community due to its size and its exposure, and frankly I couldn’t tell which one I was, though eventually I realized that was because I was both! It’s been several years and I’ve grown a lot, and I’ve become more in tune to my aromanticism apart from my asexuality.

2. Have you come out to anyone? Share a coming out story (coming out to yourself also counts)!

It’s funny, I was just thinking about this yesterday. I’m out as aromantic to three people irl, but I’ve never actually properly come out on my own terms. Two of my friends were peripherally involved at the time that I realized I was aromantic, so they were kind of a part of the realization and I never had to explicitly tell them that I had figured out this part of myself. The third friend came to understand my feelings about attraction before I eventually told her the words. But I’ve never had somebody in my life who presumed I was straight that I was able to explicitly decide I wanted to tell that I wasn’t.

In terms of coming out to myself, it took me about a year after realizing I was aroace to say the words out loud to myself. Sophomore year of high school was when I really began to fully accept that this was who I am and that I could say it and be proud of it, rather than it just being a peripheral aspect of my life that I had to pretend didn’t affect me (because we’re so often taught that we’re supposed to be just like everyone else despite our sexuality, but I have always felt that it made me explicitly not like everyone else, and that was the problem). So I said to myself, in the mirror, “I’m aromantic and asexual.” And I started writing it in my journal. At this point, I was in a weird place where I wasn’t even sure my two closest friends knew I was aroace and that it wasn’t just something I had speculated. It took me until the end of that school year to start using the word not only to myself, but to them as well. Even now, I still talk circles around it sometimes. Internalized aphobia is a real pain in the ass.

3. How/Why is your aromanticism important to you/your identity?

My aromanticism shapes how I see the world in a lot of ways. It affects me every day of my life. It influences my views on philosophy, relationships, my experiences with gender... I can’t relate to the majority of the world’s population on such a basic level that I’m often left wondering what my place in the world is and feeling like I’m living in a different universe altogether. It’s frustrating, but it can also be exciting. I’m proud of the way being aromantic has shaped me. I think the ways I view the world make sense, and being aromantic has a lot to do with it.

I consider myself to be an existentialist, and accepting that my emotional wants, needs, and experiences didn’t line up with the marriage/kids/white picket fence narrative that I was always expected to follow really helped me realize that if I don’t have to follow that narrative, then I don’t have to follow any narrative at all. I can do whatever I want with my life, and there’s no cosmic reason for me to do anything else. That’s voidpunk, baby.

4. What are some misconceptions about aromanticism that bother you?

That we’re heartless. That we don’t feel less emotions/weaker emotions than alloromantic people, or generally equating romance with emotions. That we need a QPR or other type of non-romantic partnership to fill a void where romantic relationships “should be.” That aromanticism must modify or be secondary to one’s sexual orientation. That we don’t risk being dehumanized or cut off from people around us when we come out. Arophobia in general.

5. What’s something you like about being aro/arospec? Something you dislike?

I love the arospec community first and foremost, and as I mentioned above I love the way aromanticism shapes my view of the world. I love that the aro community, though we are stereotyped as being heartless, is so full of love and compassion for one another that we can’t even argue with each other, we just have pleasant, generally civil discussions and often end up reaching mutual conclusions. I love that I can make this entire long-winded post about my experiences and not only will people read it, but they’ll appreciate it and respect it.

I hate not being understood. I hate the fact that I don’t want to come out because I’m afraid I’ll have to give an emotionally taxing vocab lesson and/or be dismissed or ridiculed and/or be called a heartless monster. I hate that we don’t have any mainstream representation that doesn’t get ripped from our hands by people who claim we do not deserve it. I hate that there are no aromantic role models in the public eye living happy lives for us to look up to; but then again, I have a secret fondness for being part of a generation that future aromantics will be able to look up to.

Questions for Week Two (June 10-16):

1. What aro-spectrum labels, terms, descriptors, and identities do you identify with?

I identify as aromantic. I also use nonamorous as a descriptor a lot of the time. That’s pretty much it. The term arogender kind of speaks to me in a way (I was there when it was coined!), as my experience with gender does feel influenced by my aromanticism, but I don’t know that I’m particularly inclined to use it for myself. I like to keep things simple, I guess.

2. Talk about other aspects of your identity that are important to you, that are meaningful parts of you like your aromanticism, such as ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, neurodivergence, mental illness, chronic illness, disabilities, etc.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m asexual as well as being aromantic. They kind of go hand-in-hand for me, but I’m much more open about being asexual if only because it’s more commonly understood and accepted. Several years ago, I was much more connected to the ace community than the aro community, but in the last couple of years that dynamic has completely flip-flopped. I feel more at home in the aromantic community, as the ace community often feels to me more focused on navigating romantic relationships while asexual, and as an aromantic I really don’t find any solace in that. The ace community has also thrown me and my aro and aroace siblings under the bus multiple times, which often makes me feel unwelcome, unfortunately.

3. How do other aspects of your identity intersect with or affect your aromanticism?

Other aspects of my identity don’t affect my aromanticism that much. On the contrary, my aromanticism affects my gender. I identify primarily as a cis female, but even saying I identify that way feels too strong, as it’s a pretty loose identification. Because of the ways in which misogyny, heteronormativity, and amatonormativity intersect, so much of traditional womanhood is based around finding romance, 99% of the time with a man. There isn’t really a subversive narrative for aro women. And femininity often feels like a costume designed to make me appear straight and allo and proper and headed for marriage. tl;dr gender machine broke.

4. Have any of your identities impacted you realizing you were aromantic, your questioning process, or coming to terms with it?

If you want to get obvious, asexuality directly helped me realize I was aromantic in that I would not have known that aromanticism existed without it. So thanks, ace community. You did do me a solid at one point or another.

Questions for Week Three (June 17-23):

1. What is your favorite aspect of the aro and arospec community?

I mentioned this earlier: I love how open, inclusive, accepting, and willing to have civil and productive discussion the aro community is. The aro community has also given me basically everything, especially the arocalypse gang (hi, guys). Without a community behind me, this blog would not exist, and I would feel devastatingly alone.

2. Are there any notable differences in your experiences in this community and other LGBTQIA+ spaces you have been in?

In general, compared to larger LGBTQIA+ spaces, the aro community on tumblr is obviously a lot smaller and more tight knit, which makes for an inherently different environment. Smaller voices somehow still speak so loud. That’s symptomatic of its size more than anything, and I haven’t been active in enough larger spaces to say much else.

The only other specific LGBTQIA+ spaces I’ve been in are asexual ones, and while there is some overlap between the two, aromantic spaces feel much more inclusive to me. Though that is likely due to the fact that asexual spaces do still put a focus on romance, while aromantic spaces certainly wouldn’t. The aromantic community is one of a kind and an absolute treasure, I guess is what I’m trying to say.

3. What’s one way that the aro community could be better or more inclusive? Do you have any tips on improving in this regard?

I think the aro community could take further steps to improve accessibility (I mean, look at me, I’m writing out this long-ass monster of a post. I’m part of the problem.). But I don’t really have any tips, considering I just broke one of my own suggestions... Don’t listen to me, I’ve got no idea what I’m talking about.

4. Do you think there are flaws in the way that different types of attractions are navigated, discussed, and defined in the aro community?

Yes. I talk about this from time to time on here... This is probably a hot take, but to me, defining types of attraction too rigidly, while it is helpful for tons of people, can often lead to an accidental hierarchy of types of attraction or relationships. For example, putting alterous attraction over platonic attraction, or queerplatonic relationships over more traditional platonic ones. I’m not saying anyone does this, at least not on purpose, but I think it’s at least a potential issue.

5. Do you consider yourself nonamorous, amorous, aplatonic, experiencing queerplatonic attraction, etc., or do you not use those terms? Are you romance positive, neutral, repulsed, or don’t use those labels? Do these answers intersect?

I’m nonamorous and romance repulsed. I’m not sure if they intersect, to be honest.

6. Have you ever been in a relationship you would consider committed, such as a queerplatonic/quasiplatonic, romantic, soft romo, friends-with-benefits, or others? How did being arospec affect that and the boundaries you set?

Nope. Again, nonamorous.

Questions for Week Four (June 24-30):

1. Have you ever participated in any pride events, such as parades and festivals? If so, do you feel welcome at these events? If not, would you want to go?

I haven’t. I would go, but I don’t really know how welcome I feel... And I’d need to go without being suspicious, which is pretty much impossible.

2. Do you celebrate pride month? If so, how do you celebrate? If not, why?

Hell, I’m doing it right now! I’ve been working on these questions with the other mods all month. Thaaaat’s about it, as there isn’t much to do around me except for go to pride, and I already explained why that was off the table.

3. Do you have any creative contributions to the aro community (art, comics, writing, moodboards, music, zines, informational posts, etc.)? Which do you like making the most? If you instead support aro creatives, what category of aro creations do you like best?

Hi, yeah, this blog. Shoutout to any of my followers who have been here since last year when all I posted on this blog was my writing... I guess you got more than you signed up for.

I write primarily short fiction for the aro community. I take soulmate prompts and spin them to be aromantic, and usually sad. Soulmates are a concept I hate with all my cold aro heart, so starting this blog was a mean of reclaiming that idea and making it a little less painful for myself and hopefully other aros. I’ve posted about this a thousand times, so I won’t go into more detail.

4. How do you feel aro creatives have impacted the community? Show some love to your favorite aro creators by @’ing them in this post and reblogging a bunch of their stuff. If you don’t have any favorites, now is a good opportunity to find a few!

Without aro creatives, we would have pretty much 0 content in general, as no one else seems to care about creating anything for us. @aroworlds is doing amazing work not only creating wonderful aro content but connecting other aro creators with one another and spreading the word. @aroacearborvitae makes moodboards and edits that brighten my day every time I see them. @arotryinghisbest is writing a novel if you want to go show him your support!

5. Is representation in mainstream media important to you? What about smaller, niche media? If so, why, and in what form would you like it to take?

Both are important, but for different reasons. I’m so thirsty for mainstream aromantic content that I would sell my soul for just one canon aromantic character on television. We need visibility, and we need people to know that we’re out here and that we exist and that we’re not broken or messed up or lying. But niche media is also important, as it often supports aromantic creators directly, and supporting small creators and media outlets is really important. Niche media can even sometimes be a gateway into mainstream media, if it picks up enough steam. Give me aro characters, please!

And that’s that. If you made it this far, congratulations, and thank you. Happy pride month! See you in the future when I hopefully start posting some more actual content...