#half the time i genuinely don't get if you're all Trying to be confrontational or if you don't get how to converse instead of confront

[ssaalexblake]

Literally cannot convey to anybody how much i do Not want to sit around and debate the timeless child plot. Like, really, i’ve heard it all (except some Really buck wild things with no grounds in reality Or storytelling) and i’ve seen the exact spine folding levels people are willing to go to to deliberately miss the point. 

I will sit here and roll my eyes, loudly over the internet, over the wilful misinterpretations over a not that hard to understand plot in a kids show, but by god i cannot begin to explain to anybody how much i don’t care if you didn’t like it and how much I don’t wish to engage in any even vaguely confrontational conversation with any of you just because i liked something you didn’t. Do you have Any idea how many arcs in dw i think are just crap stories? Probably not, i tend to not waste my time thinking about them tbh, it’s a waste of time. I certainly don’t go on the posts abt the things i dislike that happen to cross my dash to talk about how much i didn’t like it and that it was bad. 

Y’all might want to consider that, ngl. 

[chicken-wayng]

If Rhaenyra was truly a Valyrian supremacist she wouldn’t have had three kids with Harwin Strong. Also her mother is half Andal just like her siblings.

She’s not a supremacist like Daemon but I do think she’s a narcissist, genuinely believing the world revolves around her. That’s what made the rift between her and Alicent inevitable imo, she expected Alicent to want to be nothing more than her dutiful lady in waiting for the rest of her life with no ambition or desire of her own.

Rhaenyra does mellows down when she’s older, mainly because Jace keeps calling out her bs but you can’t truly change who you are. Even in 2x03 although she desperate for peace a part of her was still expecting Team Green to simply give up rather compromising because the idea of either her or Jace stepping down was incomprehensible.

So prev anon was right that 2x08 only worked because Alicent has degraded herself back to her bare bones, she’s exactly how Rhaenyra wanted her to be 20 years ago: the dutiful handmaiden who will wait on Rhaenyra and her sons, no wants of her own.

I disagree. I don't think Nyra sleeping with Harwin (+ having his children) is enough evidence that she wasn't also a Targ supremacist. I grew up in Arkansas, where racism is still very much alive. Yet all of those racist fucks would still get down dirty with a black Mamacita because they're attracted to her (but just don't respect/view her as a person, which a lot of Arkansans don't see women as to begin with). So it is possible to mess around with someone and literally have not a drop of respect for them. Also - still from what I've seen in Arkansas - it's possible to have a mixed heritage and be racist towards part of it and prefer the other more. In MY OPINION, what I observe from Nyra is similar to this. I especially think after she marries Daemon it becomes worse. I think her Targ Supremacy and Bastardphobia run hand in hand (her bastards are okay because they're Targaryen/her's while others are a sin, type of mindset). Also doesn't she say to Laenor that each time she had hoped they were his? So she hoped she was carrying his children not Harwin's, is what I gleaned from that line (also I'm thinking 3 way but that's a different post). However I do understand what you're saying and I don't believe it's like full racism but more of a casual racism, like I don't think she's fully aware of it.

I do agree that the rift between Nyra and Allie is because of both of their mindsets and I do think Nyra never thought about Alicent's future more than how it would connect to her's. I truly do think if she did think about it she did think Allie was always going to be her's in some way, probably never marrying so Rhaenyra could spend her time with her whenever. I also think that Alicent knew this and that's why she stripped herself of her titles/colors to see Nyra in 2×8. She wanted Nyra to see her as the human she is but seeing that confirmed to Nyra her own supremacy.

Also I absolutely love how they show us Jace confronting Nyra. It reminds me a lot of confronting my mom. My mom has 3 bastards (myself being the most awesome) and she's also racist. It's out of her love for me that she's starting to unlearn a lot of toxic behavior that she's realizing came from her dad. I see a lot of Nyra in this, however Nyra doesn't have a child who believes love is why we were put on this earth and we are all a part of a huge puzzle that only forms it's picture when we share our stories. Plus she's in a world so dominated by the patriarchy even as Queen she has no fucking say. Jace is trying but unable to properly verbalize it cuz he's still a child (say what you want, until someone is 20 I don't fully count them as an adult, plus Jace is like 17 when he dies, right?) and has so much weight put on him. Plus terms like "bastardphobia" aren't a thing, it's just the norm.

Thanksya for sharing your opinion and allowing me to do so as well!! I hope you're having a good day💜

[icycoldninja]

Can you maybe write the DMC boys with a reader who has eye contact anxiety?

Like at first they noticed that she had problems making eye contact, especially with ppl of the opposite gender ( not that she’s less nervous with women but she feels more comfortable making eye contact with them )

Throughout their relationship, even when intimate moments like lying on the bed, facing each other when she looks down, she can’t help but feels embarrassed so she divert her attention elsewhere and when they caught her staring at them, she always looks away at a neck-breaking speed

Because of that it causes alot of problem in her life:

+ People will be more likely to remember your face.

+ People will be more likely to remember what you said long after the conversation has ended.

+ People are more likely to believe what you're saying.

+ People will perceive you as more confident and intelligent.

+ People will be better able to read and mirror other non-verbal cues.

Yes, I can do this! Enjoy!

Sparda boys + V x Reader with eye contact anxiety headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante doesn't see how you can get anxious when looking other people in the eye because he has no problem doing it himself.

-He's quick to accept this, though, and does his best to do all the talking for you so you don't have to endure the awkwardness that is avoiding people's eyes.

-It's a real shame, though, he loves your eyes and thinks they're beautiful, but you won't ever look at him directly so he rarely sees them.

-Over time, you become more comfortable looking him in the eyes, and much to Dante's joy, he gets to look at you properly, and as always, he thinks you're beautiful.

-He notices you're more natural and relaxed with the girls, though, so he encourages you to hang out with them more in the hopes that'll give you more experience with making eye contact.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil didn't realize you had eye contact anxiety until you told him. He genuinely thought you were just too intimidated by his shiny blue eyes to look at them.

-Once he learns about this, his drive to dish out MOTIVATION kicks in, and he starts training you to not be so nervous.

-How does he do this? Simple, by having you practice on him. Every day, you will have a staring contest and will continue with this practice until you win.

-He will handle most face-to-face confrontations for you, but encourages you to steel yourself and face people. If you get too uncomfortable, however, he won't hesitate to rescue you.

-Knowing you're more comfortable making eye contact with the girls means he can use them to continue training you. Though this is very manipulative of him, at least it works.

-Makes sure to remind you that how you hold yourself is how others perceive you. If you present yourself as a meek little thing who can't even make eye contact, people will think of you as such, so you must show confidence. Don't worry, he's no hypocrite, he'll be by your side, MOTIVATING you no matter what the situation.

□ Nero □

-Nero is surprisingly accepting of your eye contact anxiety. You don't like looking people in the eyes? Then he won't look you in the eyes and won't force you to look at others, even in formal situations.

-He seriously told you to try painting your eyelids to look like open eyes the way Jack Sparrow did in Pirates of the Caribbean, so you could walk around with your eyed closed and fool people.

-If you do decide to do this, don't worry about how you'd move around, he would hold your hand and guide you.

-Beats up anyone who teases you or messes with you bscause of your anxiety.

-Encourages you to spend more time with the DMC girls since you seem more comfortable around them.

-All in all, he's gonna be there to support you no matter what, even going as far as to coddle you. He doesn't realize this may prevent you from pushing through and getting rid of your anxiety, but anything for his baby, right?

● V ●

-You can only see one of V's eyes at any given time, so that makes your anxiety half as bad.

-He doesn't really make eye contact with anyone himself, his neck is usually hanging down like he's a hunchback or something, so you have very little to worry about.

-He does think you have the world's most beautiful eyes and he wishes you would let him see them more often.

-He respects your boundaries, however, and will not force you look at him or anyone else, and if someone should attempt to do so, they will find the end of a metal walking stick shoved up somewhere where the sun don't shine.

-Wants you to try your best to overcome your anxiety, and since you seem comfortable around the girls, he thinks it would be best to interact with them until you're ready to face the rest of the world.

-Still, he finds it rather cute when you immediately shift your focus to you feet when he turns to face you.

[sensei-venus]

anyway I might be a masochist or a straight up wh*re but I can’t get the thought of og cobras with a chubby!reader out of my head and teasing her in school, staring at her, flipping her skirt up (Dutch would do it all the time imho) and telling her how hot she is, how that outfit looks so good on her, etc and she’s thinking that they’re just being dicks to her because she’s chubby and then one day she just has enough of it and confronts them and tells them to stop being dicks and they’re just like oops-

because I 100% agree that those boys are giant himbos so they were being genuine and flirting and teasing her because they like her and think she’s hot and they don’t realize that she thinks they’re being mean to her and they’re like “oh my god no-“

and yeah it ends up in a giant orgy of them showing her that they’re actually serious 🤤

No! I definitely get this and I love it. Honestly I love the trope where the more “bad guy character/s” pick on their crush but it's actually because their kinda stupid to the fact what they are doing can be seen as mean.

Half of them just think they are giving her compliments. And when she gets upset or mad they think she's trying to play with them, trying to play hard to get.

Bobby and Jimmy always give her straight-up nice compliments, like how her new hair style is cute or how pretty she is. They always take notice of her looks or how she's acting. Both of them are the first to know of she is doing something new with her make up or skin routine. Both of them are just overly sweet to her even if the other guys aren't.

Johnny and Tommy are the ones glaring her down from afar. They both talk about how hot she looks and how sexy she is. They don't go to overboard with the comments but they can't help but admit how attractive she is. As long as Dutch isn't around it's pretty tame conversations.

The minute Dutch is around, oh no because this guy can't keep his mouth shut for the life of him. He's always spewing something and he has no filter on his thoughts either. Everything always gets nasty when he's around and talking. All the bous could be sitting around and talking a out the pure thing they know about Reader, but then he opens his mouth.

Dutch is the starter if jerk circles and he knows it. It's all his fault and he's happy about it.

Besides Bobby, Johnny is actually one of the sweetest in the group. He's the first one to say something to her when they are all around. Yes his comments may be....a tad bit gross or borderline inappropriate but he's trying to be nice. He just doesn't seem to get that you can't say “Wow your tits look great stuffed into that shirt babe.” to someone and they automatically think you're a great guy.

Insert Johnny getting backhanded multiple times but never dodging. All the other cobras won't admit it but they think it's hot to see her get so mad.

Dutch definitely flips her skirts and dresses like a lot but never in front of too many people. Dude gets off on panty shots way to much. Of course the other boys don't mind it either. They all end up popping boners a lot because of Dutch’s gross stupidity.

They don't really understand until one day it goes a bit too far.

Dutch tries to pinch her hip to get her skirt to ride up just a little because he wants to get a good look at her thick thighs. They're so soft and pillowy. But her on accident actually snap her painted which makes her yelp and shoot up with a huge blush on her face while trying to hold her skirt down. She turns around and tells them off for once, not carrying about her normal shyness. She calls them assholes and morons and that she's tired of their bullying. They kinda scratch their heads at this because, like, their not bullying her? They wouldn't be complaining her left and right and trying to see up her skirt if they didn't actually like her.

At that moment they start to put together the pieces and realize the mistake. She actually thought they were picking on her and trying to make her into a joke.

After the incident they try to think of a way to get her to see they actually meant all of the nice things they said to her.

Which ends up being them inviting them over to Bobby’s, where they spoil her for the night with food and a movie. This ultimately ends with them in Bobby’s decked-out basement having a huge orgy. Jerking each other off before fucking the chubby girl. Taking turns using all her holes, and after a while, she gives them up. They switch from her mouth to her pussy to anything else she wants. It's pure bliss all night long.

And after the night is done, Reader fully understands that her new group of boyfriends isn't that bad. Their just stupid, aggressive himbos. But she wouldn't trade them for anything after finding out the truth, and giving them a lesson.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern Au) - Error 404 Brain Not Found: Bonus Scene - Part 11

"Hey, Geralt, isn't that your f***ing bard?" Lambert asked, pointing towards the sidewalk. He and Geralt were on their way back from the hobby store, and were waiting for the light to change.

Geralt scanned the moderately crowed sidewalk. Yep, that was Jaskier! The bard was doing a little window shopping at the jewelery store.

"Yeah, that's him,"

"It's close to lunch time, let's see if he wants to get someting to eat!"

"He'll probably say no," Geralt said.

"Well, then we'll just have to pursuade him!" Lambert replied.

Geralt glanced at the red-haired Witcher.

He grinned at Geralt mischeviously.

Geralt grinned back.

Jaskier looked over the jewlery in the window. There was a really nice ring that had caught his eye, and he also spied a necklace that he knew Yennefer would like. Maybe he would stop on the way home this afternoon and get them.

Jaskier continued on his way, heading to the studio. He paused to check his phone...

The light changed, and Geralt floored it...

As bystanders watched, the rusty old van swerved to the sidewalk. The sliding door whipped open, and a large, red-haired Witcher leapt out and grabbed the poor man who had stopped to check his phone.

The poor man is screaming and flailing as the scary Witcher drags him into the van. Or tries to. The man is certainly putting up a struggle. He is proving to be a bit difficult to hold on to...

Jaskier is putting his phone back in his pocket when hands grab him and start dragging him away. "Motherf***er!" he snarls when he recognizes Lambert, "Let me go!"

"You're coming with us!"

Jaskier, either genuinely unaware of how he sounded or just out of pure pettiness, started screaming, "Nooooo!" and desperately trying to break Lambert's grip.

Lambert finds himself trying to hold on to Jaskier, who is twisting, wiggling, flopping, randomly going dead weight, and making all kinds of noises.

He finally gets an arm around Jaskier's waist and a hand over his mouth just as he starts screaming, "Help!", and half frog-marches, half drags him towards the van.

He's almost there when Jaskier goes dead weight, slips out of Lambert's grasp, and tries to run. Lambert's grabbing the back of his shirt and trying to swing him towards the open van door.

Jaskier grabs a lamp post and is screeching and cussing as Lambert pries him off and drags him backwards towards the van.

Geralt is getting nervous in the van. This is taking way to long, and people are staring, and...sh*t here come the police. F**k.

Jaskier was clinging to the door frame of the van as Lambert tried to yank him inside when the authorities arrived.

Lambert abruptly let Jaskier go to put his hands up as the police surrounded them.

Jaskier fell to the ground with a surpirsed little yelp and was 'rescued' by an officer and put safely in the back of a police cruiser.

They hadn't even given him time to explain before they rushed back to assist in apprehending his kidnappers.

Things were not looking good. He dialed Yennefer's number and then hesitated. Pushing 'call' was practically a death sentence. Yennefer was going to f***ing kill them all in front of the police. They would probably be safer in jail...

Geralt and Lambert were cuffed and laying face down on the sidewalk, frantically trying to explain. The police seemed disinclined to listen due to all the eye-witness testimony.

F**k.

Jaskier swallowed hard and hit 'call'.

"We know him! He's our friend!" Lambert was saying as Yennefer arrived via portal. She was immediately confronted, and not happy about having guns pointed at her

"Don't f***ing point that thing at me! I'll turn the lot of you into toads, the King be d*mned!"

"I'll turn him into a toad as well!"

"Why is my husband on the ground in handcuffs?"

"Of course I know him, you nimrod, I just told you he is my f***ing husband! The other guy? Never seen him before in my life."

Lambert: *gasp of offended betrayal*

Geralt: *hmmm!* (translation: Yen, stop f***ing around!)

"Fine, yes, I know him. He's my brother-in-law, and he's a bigger dumba** than my husband! Now someone with an IQ of more than two digits tell me what's going on!"

"Kidnapping!?"

Yennefer looked at Geralt, Lambert, and Jaskier in turn.

Geralt was suddenly very busy studying an incredibly interesting crack in the sidewalk.

Lambert was pressing his face into the sidewalk so there would be absolutely no chance they could make eye contact.

Jaskier was sitting in the back of the police cruiser. When Yennefer looked at him, he had the audacity or wave.

"You a**clowns! I should just let them take all your a**es to jail!"

"We were just trying to take him to lunch!" Geralt tried to explain.

"By pulling up in a pedo van and snatching him off the street? Really, Geralt?"

"We didn't think he would put up a fight!" Lambert added.

"Shut up, Lambert, the adults are talking!"

"I'm sorry, officers. This is all just a big misunderstanding. The man they were trying to 'kidnap' is my brother-!"

"I thought I was your Darling Husband!" Jaskier interjected from the backseat of the police car.

Yennefer turned and gave him A Look, and a very graphic mental image of what she was going to do to certain parts of his anatomy if he didn't immediately shut the h*ll up.

Jaskier quickly shut his mouth and the car door. For his own safety.

Geralt and Lambert were given a chance to explain themselves, identities and relationships were confirmed, and the detainees were handed over to Yennefer.

The witch glared at them and pointed mutely at the van. They scrambled for it like horror movie victims making a last ditch effort to survive.

They probably weren't going to survive for long, judging by the sounds that began emanating from the van after the witch closed the sliding door behind her.

The police prudently packed up and left.

[fuckhouse2theelectricboogaloo]

Rolls up sleeves. Alr then.

I was debating on and off for the longest time of just sending Shep an ask and calling them out to their fucking face for being a piece of shit liar, but now that they blocked me AND are threatening to curse people? Alright.

Congradulations Shep, if the grooming and pedophilia didn't do it, this threat sure as fuck did, you are now just as bad as Loke if not worse { because as half-assed as the apologies were, she at least started to try until she fucked off again }. You know. the person who actually HATED you and I fucking stuck up for you and told you the truth regarding her so you didn't have the fucking lie of " everything was fine " between you and her. And I know you're going to read this so sit the fuck down and get your head out of your ass for about five minutes.

See, I knew about the shit with Soy and ACTIVELY TOLD YOU that you shouldn't have been around minors in the first place. And you wanna know why other than the fact of my own personal rules? It's because you don't have a fucking filter. So you shouldn't have been around Soy in the first place.

Granted, I didn't know depth other than " I'm upset because this minor got me kicked out of my group! " { Glad to see that wasn't the fucking truth } and that they made a post because you complained about it talking about you but like? No names were dropped in public, maybe the post wasn't a good idea and they should've kept it in private ?? Who knows. But hey reminder; THEY WERE AND STILL ARE A FUCKING MINOR.

I would've thought you'd at least have enough of a braincell to know that sometimes younger people don't know any better or they act a little more quickly rather than thinking it over at first because that's how it goes.

I also knew you didn't have a filter because whenever we were in call you fucking dropped all your goddamn trauma on those who were IN call, talked over people, and made the rest of us go silent because it was GENUINELY UNCOMFORTABLE, and when confronted about it you threw a fucking tantrum about how everyone hated you and either went quiet or left the group. Pretty sure one of the times it was the latter.

I tried to be fucking patient with you, Shep. Because guess what !! I know what it's like to feel overwhelmed or wonder if people hate you because SURPRISE, like I told you I have SOCIAL ANXIETY and CONSTANTLY worry about how people perceive me. So the fact I needed to occasionally reassure you? Okay. I can do that. No big deal.

And if ANYTHING, you're the one who DROPPED ME FIRST by falling off the face of the planet. I had to message YOU first ON THE 18TH OF DECEMBER after MONTHS of you going quiet. Which hmmm. The last message before the 18th was you asking for reassurance ??

Interesting.

You KNEW we were good, you got ACTUAL CONFIRMATION saying we're good. Yet you claimed otherwise to someone else. Fuck you actually.

I am LIVID you name-dropped me, livid you went around spreading LIES when you actually knew the truth regarding Goopy and their muse, livid that you fucking GROOMED A MINOR AND MADE SEXUAL REMARKS TOWARDS THEM, livid at how DISGUSTING of a person you are.

I wish I never met you honestly.

But you know what, actually, I am glad I met you now that I think about it. Because running CrystallineBulwark gave Soy someone to share an experience regarding you, and you being stupid enough to post that fucking doc of you ganging up and bullying a minor, gave us the ability to find out there was a victim of actual grooming and sexual harassment from you.

I'm GLAD we're giving that victim a voice.

I hope someone puts your ass in jail. I hope your V-tuber career fails. And I hope all your current ' friends and wife/gf ' learn about how fucking disgusting you are.

I don't wish ill on people, but I think you need to be fucking locked up somewhere.

Also fuck you for fetishizing trans people you disgusting piece of shit. But that's another beast on it's own.

Enjoy having curses bounce back on you tenfold dumbass.

Sorry this got so long but I've been stewing in this for awhile now.

Posting as is 👍

[666writingcafe]

Some Time Later

Lucifer (The Angel)

I've been assigned to patrol the woods alone this afternoon, and I have to say, I'm grateful. I don't get to be by myself very often. Some of that is due to choices I've made; after all, I've taken six angels under my wing, pun half-intended.

But there's something on my mind that none of them would be able to understand. Or rather, a person.

The Demon Prince is trying to fix the relationship between our realm and his. Originally, Michael was going to be the representative that went down there, but it got assigned last minute to me. After spending time with the prince, it makes me wonder if Michael would feel the same about him as I do if he were in my place.

The prince is kinder than some of the angels. I originally dismissed it as him simply practicing diplomacy, but he seems genuine in his efforts to get to know me as a person. He doesn't care about titles, instead focusing on character. Despite my less than stellar behavior when we first met, he still insists on becoming an ally.

Not just the Celestial Realm's, but my ally.

"I don't know what happened back there. I haven't felt that way about him in a really long time."

Great. Someone else is in the woods. I hold back a groan, knowing that I'll have to confront them. So much for my alone time.

"I think this place is doing weird things to all of us." Another voice.

"Did something happen to you, too?" The first voice...it sounds familiar.

"I feel like I'm behaving more like a demon than a human. First, there was the cover story for our appearance that I pulled out of my ass, and then I very nearly went all Asmo on Simeon when we were looking for Belphie earlier."

"Like, are we talking sexually? Magically?" The second voice sighs.

"Magically, Satan. I'm pretty sure having sex in the Celestial Realm is akin to heresy." I mean, they're not entirely wrong. But that's not important right now.

Satan...that's the name I've given to the anger that's become a permanent fixture inside my head. At first, it was just an emotion, but then it started talking. Or rather, screaming. At first, its noises were incoherent, but then I started hearing words in a voice that was not my own.

A voice that sounds eerily similar to the first trespasser.

"We have to get out of here," he tells his companion. "There's no telling what will happen if we..." He trails off as his eyes meet mine. Immediately, he tenses up, appearing to freeze in place.

"What's wrong?" Satan maintains eye contact, and the human follows his gaze. "Oh. This is bad. Really bad."

I step out of my makeshift hiding spot, making myself fully visible to them.

"Well, this is rather interesting," I remark, putting on an air of authority. "I should capture the two of you and not release you for a good long while."

"Please don't," the human quickly replies. "We don't mean any harm. If you can just help us find Simeon, I'll promise we'll be out of your hair." They seem terrified, but at least they're moving. Satan, on the other hand, hasn't budged an inch.

"If I was Michael or Raphael, your pleas would mean nothing. Thankfully, I'm only interested in talking." I focus my attention on Satan. "After all, it's not every day one sees the physical manifestation of their wrath."

"I was there even back then?" Satan whispers, confirming my earlier suspicions.

"You've been around from the moment I took Mammon in." My statement shocks Satan. "Your presence implies our separation at some point in the future. Assuming that you're a demon, that means that I must have fallen all the way down to the Devildom, correct?"

After a moment's hesitation, he nods his head.

"Along with the five angels you consider part of your family."

"Six," I correct.

"One doesn't survive the journey. Not entirely."

"What do you mean, not entirely?"

"If you knew who it was, then you'd end up altering the timeline," the human interrupts. "As it is, you know way more than you should."

"That's one way of looking at it, I suppose," I tell them. "I see it as preparing for the inevitable." They groan at my response.

"Barbatos is going to kill me," they mutter. Before I can question how they know the prince's butler, they take a deep breath and look straight at me.

"We can answer any questions you have, but you need to help us find Simeon. Not your Simeon, but ours. He and Satan got in a heated argument, and he went off in the opposite direction to hopefully try to calm down. Is there a spot here that he feels comfortable hiding in? One where he feels he won't be found easily?"

"There is a place, but it's a bit of a hike from here."

"Good enough. Let's go."

[aces-spade-palace]

A story for those that need it. (TW for depression, suicide, SH, and abuse talk) Life has gotten insanely better since I was younger. When I first found Tumblr, I was a depressed, suicidal pre-teen. Tumblr actually made my life so much worse. I got into the dark side. The self harm side. I would compare myself to others and wish I could do worse. I would starve myself and now I'm paying the price for it. Now I look back and see how bad it was. At the time I had no idea half of what I was doing needed medical attention. Now I look at my scars (since I worked in healthcare for 6 years) and see that I probably should have gotten stitches for many of the things I did. I had attempted. I had wanted to end it all. That continued through high school and into adult hood. I had wanted to end it so many times. I thought I hated my parents when they were trying to do the best for me. I screamed and cried myself to sleep most nights because I just hated being here. I had 7 therapists in 5 years. One trip to the psych ward. I have been in abusive relationships and friendships. Lied to and cheated on. I made terrible decisions that could have killed me and I didn't give a damn. Up until a few years ago, I had thought I would be better off dead. I was also close-minded. I was an asshole and genuinely just a terrible person. Now, I'm 25. I found that I am an agender, queer being who enjoys pole dancing and theatre. I also was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. I am getting married in just a few months. I am working job that I make 50k in without a college degree. I have three cats and we are going to start looking to buy a house after we get married. I am genuinely happy and content with my life. I learned to love myself. Yes, I have my days where I look in the mirror and get dysphoric, I get insecure, but more often that not anymore, I am starting to love myself again. It takes time. A lot of it, but at the end, it is really worth it. YOU do have to put in the work, even if you don't want to, even if you're being forced to, but I promise you that life can be so so worth it. I lived my dream job. I moved out from my parents house and our relationship got better. People have told me they look up to me and that they are proud of me. Yes, boundaries had to be set, my heart had to break on multiple occasions, and I got hurt countless times, but that is a part of healing. The hardest part of it all is doing the things you have to do for yourself. Cutting ties with the people who are genuinely causing you harm, with the things causing you harm, even if you don't realize it. You might feel like you're being selfish, taking care of yourself, but that's because you haven't done that yet. And when I say taking care of yourself, I don't mean go live in the woods in a cabin and hibernate. I mean confronting what is causing you harm. Taking care of your body and mind. Have the difficult conversations, and actually taking steps to improve your wellbeing. No I don't post this to brag, I post it to show that life can change for the better, and it is possible. It just takes work. You got this. My situation is not like everyone else's and I know that. But it is possible to get better, and if no one reads this, that's okay. If only one person reads this and realizes that life can get better, I would be ecstatic. I just want you to know that it is okay to not be okay, and this feeling is temporary. You can do this, and I believe in you. Stay Safe, Stay beautiful, Stay Handsome, Stay Wonderful, and be the best version of you that you can be. You are loved and you are cared for. If you need anything, reach out. I'll be here, and if im not, someone will be here for you.

[heckthis-heckallofthis]

If you're seeing this post then that means I've officially lost it!!!!

3033/Cross relationship headcanons (I hate them)

3033 constantly acts like he isn't in love when in fact he is more obsessed with Cross than Cross is with him. He is unsalvageable

33 enjoys the taste of every part of him (phagocyte things), his skin, his spit, even the things I will not speak of here

Another phagocyte thing is he constantly bites him as affection (and marking him)

Marking him is more of a jealousy thing but it doesn't matter anyways because Cross is so hard to hit on it's insane, you need to bother him 24/7 just to reach the possible love interest status, much less have him constantly bicker with you on sight

This causes big awkward moment at the T cell station: "uh Cross? Are those bite marks??" "NO, UH, MOSQUITOES, BAD ALLERGIC REACTION" (they do not believe his ass!!!)

They both have no experience on actually doing it, maybe they've read fiction or watched it at some point but none of them have ever gotten that far with a partner.

Cross has definitely read the worst BL out there tho, that is his only knowledge on it. The second they try anything 3033 is about to be hit with this fact.

3033 uses the honorific "-chan" on him, at first as disrespect (he's so small and unintimidating, no other honorific fits), but eventually turned to affectionate (he's so cute, I enjoy calling him this)

Cross(-chan) always says he hates it but in actuality he is obsessed with it, everyone else calls him Cross-kun so he feels it's special when 3033 alone refers to him as Cross-chan

When they first started dating Cross kept getting 3033 food, learning from his Squad Leader, the problem is that Squad Leader has an insane void as a partner, and therefore is the outlier. (3033 just kept handing 2145 his gifted food, although he feels bad he cannot actually finish it all)

I think Cross would lose his mind anytime 3033 decides to let down his hair. 3033 does it whenever he's bored just to see his reaction

Even when they're dating they call each other names and say they're annoying, it's just another part of their day <3 (they don't get physical with it at least) sometimes it gets to the point they yell at each other "YKNOW WHAT? IM BREAKING UP WITH YOU" and then go their separate ways before coming right back the next day saying "Okay do you want to visit this restaurant I found with me?" "Yeah ok"

I think Cross would genuinely be into 3033 constantly calling him names, 3033 calls him an idiot and stupid halfway through making out and Cross instantly gets redder than before.

On the flip side I don't think Cross can seriously call 3033 insults when they aren't actively bickering, maybe he's too busy looking at how pretty 3033 is, maybe he just likes him too much to say those words seriously to him.

The second 3033 realized he preferred watching Cross break down into a flustered mess rather than get mad at him over nothing was when the flirting began. Terrible for Cross' blood pressure but great for 3033's amusement 👍

Much to 3033's dismay, 2145 enjoys wingmanning for him. Cross asked 2145 what 3033's code was because they got so far into the relationship yet 3033 had never told him his code, and it would be embarrassing to ask him now.

3033 doesn't normally tell 2145 about how his relationship is going, but 2145 (probably influenced by Squad Leader's nosy behavior) will sometimes ask about it, he is curious

Cross literally tells everything Abt 3033 to Squad Leader, Squad Leader doesn't know what to say so he's just nodding half the time. It would be so in-character and funny tho if he saw bruises on Cross (hickeys) and thought maybe 3033 was bullying him and messages 2145 Abt it.

2145 confronts 3033 about "Maybe be less rough on him" and 3033 is just ""??? I told him he can tell me if it hurts?????????"

Cross uses emoticons (canon) and he uses them when he's texting 3033

"Good morning ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡" comes up on 3033's phone and his juniors are all thinking who is the person behind that message

3033 looks so menacing and grumpy at work and on the clock but in reality he's sooooo annoying and clingy. He has a reputation to keep up tho so he only does that at home. Aka with Cross.

Cross gets no time away from him at home, 3033 is burying his face into his chest, his hair, his back, doesn't even matter if he just came home from work.

Sometimes it's because he just wants to bother him, sometimes it's because he wants affection. Regardless Cross is not getting anywhere w his clingy ass.

[headstrongblake]

@thewholecrew: grant gives nick a friendly pat on the shoulder & ❛  you’re the closest thing to a brother i have.  ❜ / grant & nick + octavia

after a week from fucking hell where there was a time or two nick was damn sure he was about to see his old man again, he's starting to feel like he's coming out the other side of it. surviving the detox with grant and octavia. even after those two had a thousand and one reasons to leave him to his own demise. he watches them move around his home, but he can see the eggshells he's tossed at their feet. creating this heavy tension as he leans against an armchair, staring out into his backyard.

now, he's left wondering how the fucking hell he ever let this get so out of hand. it isn't until he's without all the crap that had him living half-alive that he can stare at his hands clearly. see the scars on the back of his hands and rub his thumb against the ones on his palms only to realize...they don't hurt anymore. not like he'd sworn they still did when he'd been first confronted with his drug use. his hand still trembled occasionally, but he was noticing the deep ache less and less.

sucking in a heavy breath, nick did his best to cram his shameful actions beneath his love and desire to repair the damage he'd inflicted on both of them. neither of them deserved it. after all, what was their crime? giving a shit about him? he turned his head over his shoulder, watching octavia a moment as she made another pot of coffee in the kitchen before his gaze fell to grant sitting on the long couch. his lips parted, clearing his throat before he could swallow the lump of guilt stuck there. "i did some pretty heinous shit this last week..." nick started, unable to keep his regret from darkening his crystal hues. "lotta fucked up shit, lot of horrible crap i said..." hues intentionally lifted to octavia as he turned to face them, knowing he'd been directly cruel to her. "even if i didn't mean half the things i said...i still said it, that was me, and i'm sorry..." nick apologized sincerely. all either of them had done was try to help him, and for it? he fought his brother over and over again. he used his sister, knowing the hurt he directed at her would easily hurt them both.

as nick apologized, octavia released a relieving shaky breath because she'd been waiting for this. not an apology. this is a little more unexpected because he's always sucked at those, but ever since nick first lashed out at grant...she's been waiting for her brother to begin sounding like himself again. though she stayed across the room in the kitchen, a sad smile lifted her lips, just grateful he was healing and his anger was going dormant.

nick didn't expect either to reciprocate but a little hope trickled into his gaze as his brother stood and approached him. "i'll even let ya get in a few sucker punches...seems fair is fair," nick offered a half-hearted smirk, bracing for grant's next move when he felt grant's hand gently clamp down on his shoulder. he gave him a friendly pat to nick's bewilderment, gaze looking over his brother. "i'm sorry," he muttered more quietly, "you don't gotta forgive me and shit i—..." but grant cut him off with, "you're the closest thing i have to a brother..."

nick's smirk turned genuine at that, head nodding in agreement as he lifted his same hand to grasp grant's shoulder. "you've always been my brother," nick agreed with a gentle squeeze before he looked past his brother to octavia. "tavia?" he watched as she turned back to them, "yeah, nick?" guilt stung in his heart at the sound of her voice, fuck, she sounded so tired. "it's time," he spoke softly, nodding his head slowly, "i need you to call kassy...i want her here."

[galexystern]

butterfly wings

chapter two; fall 1983

pairing; steve harrington/reader

rating; M

warnings; angst, pining, au - canon divergence, fucked up the timeline a bit

word count; 891

desc; you comfort and advise steve on his relationship.

a/n; sorry for the short chapter! but the next one is a biggie~

read on ao3 / series masterlist

When your sophomore year comes around, you're glad Nina found a good enough job to stay put. Hopefully this one sticks.

School starts in a whirlwind. Vickie, Jesse, Hailey, and you are all officially best friends. You get the lead in the fall play. Eddie still winks at you, just in a different part of the school. And Steve and Nancy break up.

"Wait, what?" You shout at Vickie, who has just told you the news.

She nods frantically. "Yeah! Apparently Steve thought Nancy was cheating on him with Jonathan Byers—the guy whose kid brother went missing?—and went crazy over it. He and his friends 'confronted' him and broke his camera. Well, that set Jonathan off and he and Steve got into a fistfight until Nancy showed up and put a stop to it. She told him off and that was it."

"Wow," you draw out; Jesse and Hailey echo you.

"So was she? Cheating on him?" Hailey is practically hanging on Vickie's words.

Vickie shakes her head wildly. "No! That's just it! She wasn't cheating on him, she was just helping him look for his brother. She felt bad since her friend Barbara went missing too. I think they just experienced the same thing and became close through it."

Jesse sighs. "I can't believe it."

"Me either," you say. "First Will and then Barbara. Not exactly the time for King Steve to go mad."

The three of them nod in agreement.

;

Later that day, you get home and head up to the roof, determined to enjoy the last dredges of summer. You find a surprise.

"Steve?"

Said surprise turns his head half-heartedly, looks at you blandly, and then turns back. He's sitting at the railing, letting his feet hang over the side through the bars. You walk over to him slowly. "Is it okay if I sit?"

He shrugs, which you take as a yes with some creative license, and join him. You two sit in silence for a while, letting the setting sun warm you for as long as it can. Once it disappears and the sky turns purple and blue and black as a bruise, you cross your arms against the chill.

Steve seems to notice and unexpectedly takes off his letterman jacket and drapes it over your shoulders.

"Thank you," you say, surprised again. He just shrugs again. "Are you okay?" You finally ask.

He doesn't reply for a few minutes. You're not sure he's going to answer at all, until you hear him say, hoarsely, "I fucked up."

You nod, looking at the sky for a minute. Then you turn your head back to him. "And?"

That startles him into looking at you. "What?"

"You fucked up, and...? So what?"

He huffs in frustration. "So it's over. And it's my fault."

You continue to stare at him. "And?"

Steve shakes his head. "I don't understand," he says angrily.

You exhale and take the chance to place your hand on top of his. His hands are still warm even in the cold night. "You fucked up. Alright, that sucks. But we all fuck up. It's not usually the end of the world." He raises an eyebrow. "You know, unless you're a world leader and some group of inept thugs somehow steal the nuclear launch codes." That gets you a half-smile. Emboldened, you continue. "We all fuck up. It's human nature. It's what you do after that matters."

"You mean...?"

"If you feel bad, you apologize. If you did something wrong, you try to make it right. If you hurt someone, you do better next time. You learn from the mistakes. So you don't do it again. And it might not be completely over, if you try to keep it going."

He lets your words digest and then understanding spreads across his features. It's pretty beautiful.

"Oh my—I get it. I have to go." He leaps to his feet but still stares at you. "Thank you," he says genuinely.

"You're welcome," you say with a smile. "Now go!"

He salutes you and races to the door. You call out, "Wait, your coat!" but he's already gone. You face the edge again and lean forward until your head is resting on a bar. His jacket envelops you in warmth and his scent. Closing your eyes, you wonder just what the fuck you're doing.

;

This time, the news is not a surprise.

"Guys!" Vickie is out of breath. "Steve and Nancy are back together!"

Jesse and Hailey freak, and you pretend to. "What happened?" Someone screams.

"So many things! First, he confronted Tommy and Carol about their terrible behavior and tried to get them to apologize to Nancy and Jonathan. They wouldn't take it. Then second, he cleans the 'Nancy is a whore' graffiti from the movie theater sign, all by himself! And then finally, he went to Nancy and Jonathan, apologized, and made up with Nancy!"

"She's a better woman than I," Jesse bemoans, shaking his head. "I would've kicked him to the curb."

"I don't know," Hailey says with a giggle. "I'd let him cozy back up."

You roll your eyes. "Hailey, that crush is so tired. I thought you liked Jack?"

"I still do," she insists. "But he's not Steve Harrington."

No one is, you think sadly, and picture the letterman jacket hanging in your closet.

chapter three

[daughterofhighever-blog]

Weirdly Specific Character Building Questions...

[ compiling my responses for @quiisquiliae, @chasindtrevelyan, @aetherianxarchive, and an anon! (edit: I feel like I might have accidentally missed a submission. all the asks are gone from my box now though. If you submitted one and you don't see it answered here, please resubmit. I sowwy! ]

1.) What's the lie your character says most often?

'Don't worry about me, I'm fine.' Elissa is a protective, care taking person by her default nature - but in every iteration of her story, the survivor's guilt ramps this up several orders of magnitude. People don't take care of her, she takes care of people. That's her entire purpose and reason for being. She will lie to others and to herself rather stubbornly to avoid the thought that she can't do it all.

2.) How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’? She uses the word friend quite frequently, and in many contexts, so in that sense she uses it loosely. Aside from being a chronic care taker, sometimes pathologically so, Elissa is also a mediator and peacekeeper in a lot of ways. It comes part and parcel with her position and upbringing. However it is generally easy to tell whenever she calls someone "friend", whether she means it in a disarming, feather smoothing way during tense negotiations, or in a "I will jump the shit of a literal goddess like a rabid weasel on coke to protect you" way. There isn't much in between for her.

3.) How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing? Its a very narrow range of circumstances when Elissa is going to misrepresent the tenor of her thoughts or emotions deliberately to someone she's interacting with. Most of those situations are going to be in an antagonistic context. With people she cares about and loves? The only time she's really going to try acting in direct contradiction to what she's genuinely feeling is if she's in pain and doesn't want to burden them with it because they're already going through shit themselves. Other times if there's reason to think it'd be poorly received, she'll downplay or avoid acknowledging negative emotions/opinions - but if pressed or confronted, isn't going to lie.

tldr; it's usually the intensity of her emotions she conceals from others, rather than the nature of the emotion itself.

4.) What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss? Playing instruments - her favorite was the flute. She was moderately talented with stringed instruments like a lyre or lute, but pipes, flutes, tin whistles, etc were the ones she was best at. She was trying to get some of the servants in the castle to teach her how to play the mouth-harp just before the attack on Castle Cousland at the start of the Blight. 7.) What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell? I'd yell, "HEY COUS-COUS!" She gets an irritated scowl on her face that makes me giggle when I think of it. Half the time she snaps back, (with a thin undercurrent of 'You're lucky I love you') "Fuck you!"... Fergus would call her 'Lissy or 'Lissa. You know it's someone she's with romantically or in love with if they can call her 'Liss and not be punched in the arm. She loathes being called that, with the sole exception of a romantic partner.

(bonus: it may be cliche, but in my head I imagine her Varric!nickname would be something like, "Short Stack".)

8.) How loose is their use of the phrase ‘I love you’? Unlike with the word 'friend', her saying "I love you" is much more strict. That is not a phrase that leaves her mouth lightly - at all, ever. If she tells your muse that she loves them? You bet your ass she'd start wars and set the world on fire for them - she has, in some verses. (This is not restricted to romantic partners. This applies as well to friends and family, blood or chosen.) 12.) What's something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific! Situations or interactions that fluster a typically stoic or grumpy person. Leliana teasing Sten about being a big softie, or the times Alistair is able to aggravate Morrigan during the banter about her nose resembling Flemeth's, Nathaniel teasing Velanna during Awakening ("Your ears aren't clownishly large at all!"), etc. 34.) How do they greet someone they like / love? Taking both their hands between hers, or double clasped forearms, or grasping/squeezing both their upper arms with a bright smile. Basically any greeting that uses both hands or arms. 37.) What’s a secret they haven’t told serious romantic partners and don’t plan to tell? I'm struggling to come up with an answer to this one. As a general rule? There just isn't one she'd keep from a serious romantic partner. If Elissa brings someone into her heart that deeply, there isn't anything in terms of life events or personal history she'd keep from them. THE ONLY CAVEAT TO THIS - If said serious romantic partner is NOT ALSO a Grey Warden... Then Order secrets, like the ones Jory was killed to protect, she would not intend to ever tell them or allow them to discover. Of course, shit sometimes happens... but those are the only beans she would refuse to willingly spill to a lover or spouse. 58.) How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme?

It's kind of hard to say, as there are a number of things Elissa enjoys doing that she's good at - but they usually fall under the umbrella of "skills necessary or useful to her position/background". She can garden (her favorite 'practical' hobby), cook, sew, do basic embroidery, etc... But looking at the ones that don't fall in that center of the venn diagram between practically useful and enjoyable? It tends to be artistically creative ones. She loves to make music, sing, and dance. Would (and still could, or would in the right circumstance) stand out in the pouring rain, twirling around dancing and laughing with her arms outstretched.

[iviarellereads]

Harrow the Ninth, Chapter 50

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Second House skull) In which there are a number of shocking reveals, and the other pun that nearly made me defenestrate my e-reader.

THIRTY MINUTES BEFORE THE EMPEROR'S MURDER

Ianthe leads Gideon to God's rooms, but the door stands open when it should be locked tight. The two press themselves against the wall to listen and peek inside.

Cytherea's body is inside, tied to a chair with tendon, as John asks how she's done all this.

The voice was still gravel. "I charge you with acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, the human race--" "Commander." "--for which the only sentence is death; repeated mass killings, the utter disintegration of institutions political and social, languages, cultures, religions, all niceties and personal liberties of the nations, by use of--" "Commander Wake," he said. It sounded like he scrubbed a hand over his face; there was a muffled exhalation. "I've heard all this before." "Call me by my full name, or don't name me at all. I'll be damned if I pass up the chance to hear you speak the words."

He delays a bit, and tries to get away with only a partial quote, but eventually she draws the whole thing out of him.

"Awake Remembrance of These Valiant Dead Kia Hua Ko Te Pai Snap Back to Reality Oops There Goes Gravity,"(1) he recited, all in one breath. "Correct?" "They're dead words--a human chain reaching back ten thousand years,"(2) said the corpse. "How did they feel?" "Genuinely sad, bordering on very funny," said God. "Can we talk?"

John continues that Wake has been trying to "commit suicide by cop"(3) since he found her. She asks if the ten billion he killed gave him telepathy, and he half wishes they had, but he knows people. He asks what her mission was, fishing for information.

After some more exchange of words, he asks why she went to the Ninth House twenty years ago, and how she's still a sane revenant after all this time.

"You're not a necromancer--" "Necromancy is a disease you released," she said. "Necromancy needs to be strategically and deliberately cleansed."(4) "Don't spout bigotry, Commander. I won't kill you for it and it hurts your cause," he said calmly. "I have access to any number of cute pictures of necromantic toddlers with their first bone. They don't make for fat-cheeked roly-poly babies, but they've got a certain something, and nobody likes toddlers juxtaposed with cleansed."(5) "How many babies died in the bomb, Gaius?" "All of them," he said.(6)

He asks again, how she got into Cytherea's body as she wasn't there when he picked it up at Canaan House, and what she was doing at the Ninth nineteen years ago. Before she can even think about responding, though, he asks who's at the door. Gideon almost thinks they've been found out, but Mercymorn and Augustine stroll into John's room, seeming not to notice Gideon or Ianthe hiding in the coat rack.

Mercy says it's all over now, and Augustine suggests that John man up and give in. John asks if he's in trouble (causing Mercy to burst into approximately four seconds of angry tears before she works it out of her system) and if it's really the right time to confront him about it.

As John gestures to Wake, Mercy and August seem to notice her for the first time. He introduces them, but Wake says, with great satisfaction, that they've met.

God said quietly, "You've met, Commander? Can you tell me more about that?" "I met the woman. I never met the man. She was the spokesperson for both." Mercy said, "It can't be. This can't be happening. This cannot be happening," and the other Lyctor said, "It evidently can." And God continued, "In what context?" "They were working for me," said the dead Commander. Mercymorn demanded, "Are you flattering yourself, or being wrong on purpose?" The other Lyctor interrupted, "Joy--" but she was saying, wildly: "Oh, let it happen! If this is happening, let it happen ... We had a deal, Wake! Where the hell have you been hiding for nineteen years?" "Where--you--fucking-left--me," she ground out. "In my bones. Then a blade.(6) In--that--fucking--hole."

Mercy and Wake argue for a bit, repeating that Gideon was on Wake's tail for two years before he sent her, in a dying tailspin, down onto the Ninth.

John freezes everyone, like he did at the dinner with Harrow's soup, and asks again why Wake went to the Ninth. She replies:

"To break into the Tomb."

Wake goes on to explain most, if not the whole, Dios Apate, Major(7) plot: Mercy's eggs and the dummy incubators were non-viable, so she inseminated herself with the sample obtained. The child's blood was supposed to help her break into the Tomb.

As John explains how this could never have worked, Gideon Prime walks in, finds Harrow and Ianthe cowering, and steals the sunglasses from Harrow-Gideon's face,(8) then continues on into the room until he's noticed by Augustine.

The woman I was pretty sure was actually my mother - wearing the body of a woman I'd had a crush on, who in turn had been wearing the identity of a woman she'd murdered, until I fell on a spike so that my boss could kill her - craned her head around in her bonds.

Wake looks like her saviour has just walked in. Duty closes the distance between them, taking a gun out of his belt, and shoots Wake at the base of Cytherea's skull.

God is dismayed that Wake's ghost is completely gone. Augustine asks what happened to Number Seven, but Duty says it ran away. Augustine wants to know how THAT works, with Duty still alive. Mercy interrupts to say she wants Gideon I to hear this too, to know what Pyrrha died for.

God asks Gideon Classic if he was aware Wake was pregnant when she landed at the Ninth House. He did. God asks why he didn't stop her, to which he replies that he thought it was his, to the disgust of Mercy and uncontrolled, desperate amusement of August.

John puzzles out that the plan, then, was to kill a Lyctor's baby to open the wards… but Mercy says he knows they all know exactly what those wards entail. It was his essence, collected in another night of debauchery, twenty years ago. God asks if the baby died en route to the ground, but Mercy says no, it didn't.

At this, Gideon, wearing Harrow's body, emerges from the robes, and closes the space between herself and the group. Everyone turns to look at her, as she comes to stand behind the chair with the body on it.

"I'm-" I said.

The world revolved.

"I'm not fucking dead," I said, which wasn't even true, and I was choking up; everything I'd ever done, everything I'd ever been through, and I was choking up.

And the Emperor of the Nine Houses, the Necrolord Prime, stood from his chair to look at you - at me; looked at my face, looked at your face, looked at my eyes in your face. It took, maybe, a million myriads. The static in your ears resolved into wordless screaming. His expression was just - gently quizzical; mildly awed.

"Hi, Not Fucking Dead," he said. "I'm Dad."(9)

=====

(1) Yes, those are, in sequence, quotes from Henry V, New Zealand's national anthem, and Eminem's Lose Yourself. Also explains the dogtag! (2) Hmm. Well those are definitely references to our world and time. So… this is the far future, somehow. And Dominicus is definitely our solar system. (3) I'm not personally a fan of the "commit" part of the phrase (suicide shouldn't be framed as a crime to be committed, but a tragedy of loss and failure of support systems), but "suicide by cop" is such a weird and loaded phrase to find in these books that, up to a point, appeared to be silly space lesbians, y'know? Oh, but we were never quite in a silly book, were we? Not since Gideon's "indenture" on Drearburh was made clear. (4) I suppose that begins to hint at what the BOE's agenda is. (5) He's so cold about it, too. Not harsh cold, I don't think, but so calm about discussing a war of propaganda. (6) In her bones, then in a blade. Perhaps a very large blade, carried nearly everywhere by a certain redhead of her own make. A blade that, perhaps, might give off an aura of malice toward a necromancer sensitive but untrained in reading or understanding the presence of spirits. The first night on the Mithraeum, when Harrow was possessed and found herself in Cytherea's tomb, the sword plunged into the dead woman's heart. A thanergetic link indeed. (7) Recall, when Mercy was horrified at August's calling the new plan "Dios Apate, Minor" and he had to reassure her that it was Minor, MINOR! before she agreed to go along. Well, they'd used a plan very, very similar to that very one, twenty years before. (8) Now why would he need sunglasses, and why would he not have his own? I feel like this also carries a LOT of emotional and thematic significance, because as we see in this very chapter, G1deon thought that Wake's baby was his. So here he is, forming a connection with her. The child denied him. (9) It took me a long moment of thought not to throw my e-reader at this one. I'm just as glad I didn't have the hardcover to contend with because I'd have valued it less than the potential replacement cost of a nice Kobo. Though it would've been VERY cathartic.

[fairycosmos]

i am so stuck. i don’t know how to move forward with my life but i know that everyone wants me to. i’m supposed to want to…but i don’t. i’m really tired of being depressed, it’s been years and it won’t go away. i don’t care i don’t want to be a functioning adult i just want to lie down

i totally feel you when you say you're stuck, i feel the same. and i don't wanna like assume you haven't tried to talk to mental health professionals, but i was wondering if that's an option for you? i only say this bc honestly i think ive been trying to paste over my depression for a long time but i think it doesn't become real to you until you genuinely confront and try to manage it, which is smth ive tried to run from for a long time......not that any of this is easy, and when you say its been years, i totally get that too.....at this point the goal for me is to manage alongside depression rather than cure it bc it really is a valid and lifelong issue. i don't blame you for feeling the way you do, and i hope you don't blame yourself. THIS SHT IS EXHAUSTING AND ITS OK TO SAY SO!!! if you need a mate, message me. you don't have to want or be anything, seriously. sometimes all you have to do is get through an hour and if you can't, get through half, and if you can't, get through a minute. it's all relative, and it's horrible, no undermining thet. but i believe in you. and im for you with no judgement if you need it. X

[romilly-jay]

In The Unplanned Second Chance Saloon: The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

***spoilers***

CW: Very significant number of throwaway deaths (inflicted by the 'Good Guys', obvs) - fruitily overdone English Upper Class accents and lots of irritating public school type joshing - references to and glimpse of the mostly off-screen torture and murder of a woman.

=====================

I'm having an interestingly hard time getting started with this and I wonder whether that's a little bit to do with the fact that Princess Marina [Hyde] hates Guy Richie soooo much and is soooo disparaging about him on The Rest is Entertainment?

Definitely, maybe.

So, rushing to get to the <3 of the matter: We watched TMOUW on the first day it was released and found it... stunningly boring for a movie that involved so much gunfire and so many things blowing up.

Our immediate reaction was: SAS Rogue Heroes did it (much) better.

Then, this week we watched it again and it... had got better? It hadn't, naturally, changed at all, but we enjoyed it considerably more on the second viewing. I guess that's because we'd adjusted for all the things we knew it wasn't going to be and that left more space just to enjoy the structure and delivery of the story on its own terms.

I also had headspace to notice that the first third of the movie was IMO focused, purposeful and pacey and Worked Really Well. There was a pre-credits cold open action sequence that I found genuinely gripping, then a well-positioned, not overly long recap ("I guess you're wondering how we got here..."), and into another obnoxious, against-all-odds, enjoyable-on-its-own-terms, action sequence, this time the storming of a prison camp to complete the crew.

All much more impressive and high octane and unlikely than the real story where the members of what would become SOE (Special Operations Executive) were notably less impervious to bullets.

In the cold light of day, I'd mutter something about the real missions of SOE were quite dangerous and adrenaline-fuelled and didn't necessarily need to be 'sexed up' but horses/courses, genre choices.

Side note - one of many reasons we expected to be the perfect audience for this movie was S's abiding interest in all things WW2 and with particular interest in the exploits of the SOE. We were for example huge fans of the 2018 reality show that put modern participants through the SOE selection process:

Back to TMOUW and - TBH, I still found all the sequences at the destination port slow-to-tedious. Even the parts that involved the climactic action, in which the Daring Few cause chaos across the port and half-hinch an important ship.

The femme fatale still came across to me personally as very wooden (perhaps she was going for "English Restraint"?) but this time I was able to enjoy her rendition of Mack The Knife. The first time I spent the entire song fulminating about the fact that she'd changed outfit MID COSTUME PARTY - a party she'd insisted the German Baddie Officer attend with her as Caesar and Cleopatra. Why would you ditch your fabulous barely-there green dress and Cleo wig right at the point that you're trying to force and fascinate him into staying???

This is probably why - a candid pic of the dress ahem reveals that this white gown is also a Most Excellent Dress. Photo is an off-screen pic from the downtime while the crew was filming at HMS Belfast - which in the movie and ocean-CGI'd to the gills, stood in for the ship that confronts our heroes off the coast of Africa.

This assessment has become kinder when we then watched I Care a Lot and found she was in that as well, playing the co-conspirator girlfriend. Which IMO she does with style and energy.

So, backing away from my initial position that the actor in qu was terrible and only managed to get cast in the movie because she's dating someone. [Maybe I'll come back to this movie but in case I don't - that movie goes a bit too hard into the DARK side of dark comedy for my tastes, but, conversely, I thought the abrupt comeuppance at the end was earned and appropriate. I've just read a review where the focus was on how much the reviewer liked the movie in general but disliked the ending tremendously, so - shrug?]

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Okay, I keep thinking about this, specifically Wonwoo. I feel like in general, Wonwoo is written as either kind of cold/withdrawn or a shy babie and he's rarely shown as mischievous, or at the very least, I've not seen him portrayed that way.

So! Let's look a little more into Wonwoo because I'm caught up on him but I don't really have an idea for a full story.

☕☕☕☕☕

Wonwoo is pretty much the only staff for the coffee shop aspect of Cats&Coffee because he makes amazing coffee and enjoys doing it. But this also means he's always right there at the counter whenever the shop is open so customers know they'll see him every single visit. Have him greet them and make their drink. Which is half the reason he has a whole legion of fangirls; the consistency of his presence. The other half is purely his visuals because the man is fucking beautiful.

And Wonwoo doesn't want fangirls, if he didn't love his job and the company in general they would've made him quit a long time ago. But he loves his job so he tries to get rid of the fangirls.

His first plan was genuinely being dismissive and kind of dickish to those he knew were fangirls. But it didn't work and it kind of concerned him how many of them seemed to like the behaviour?

Next, he tried to dress unattractively, often donning stained/ripped/very old clothes in hopes of the fangirls thinking he's an undesirable slob. It didn't work, they just thought he was down to earth and confident enough to wear old loungewear out.

Finally, he tried to seem genuinely insane, saying the most unhinged things to these fangirls and showing strange behaviour. He even once told a particularly intense fan that he liked her hair and said he'd like to make wigs for his pet rocks out of it; he was horrified when the next time he saw her she had cut her hair off entirely and had it in a bag which he offered to him with a smile. Of course, his odd behaviour didn't deter them at all, not even randomly breaking out into operatic singing(badly too).

In the end, Wonwoo decided to mix up all three of his ideas, combine them and swap them out without warning hoping the unpredictable behaviour would work. It didn't and now the fangirls think of it as a game "what kind of Wonwoo will we get today?".

And the kicker is, by the time you enter the store and immediately take his attention, he literally has no idea how to act around new people anymore, especially in the store. So he stares dumbly which only grows when Junhui steps out and greets you brightly, tells you that he's happy you're joining the team. And that's how Wonwoo finds out that they're finally getting him a co-worker to run the till while he focuses on making the drinks.

Cue endless Wonwoo trying to relearn normal human behaviour while still trying to scare off the fangirls.

It's not even a few days before you confront Jun about Wonwoo's genuinely concerning erratic behaviour because you're very worried for the barista's mental health after seeing him break into hysterical laughter at literally nothing already three times today and it's only 1pm. And Jun explains it all as you help him trim the claws of an elderly rescue he called his little snookums.

So when you and Wonwoo are back in the shop and getting ready to open it back after being closed for you both to have lunch, you bring it up and suggest to his horror and joy, that he says you two are in a long-term committed relationship. You're very certain most of the fangirls think they have a chance so taking him off of the market would cause a lot of them to lose interest. And Wonwoo's very certain that his heart is about to fall out of his ass at your words.

He doesn't actually say anything, just stares at you dumbly so you flip the sign to open and get back behind the counter.

For a while, he's weirdly quiet as he makes drinks and hands them over but then one brave young woman tries to slip him her business card with her personal number written in pen on the back when he hands over her drink. Wonwoo tries to hand it back but the woman refuses so he sighs heavily and says "my girlfriend won't like me even taking this" which makes you look over curiously, wondering if this is him accepting your offer of an out. Wonwoo looks over at you with a pout "I'm not accepting it, baby," He informs, crunching up the card in his hand to toss into the bin behind the counter. You just smirk smugly and look at the customer who rushes out, embarrassed, a few other customers following behind from the line.

Later, when you're both closing up the shop at the end of the day, Wonwoo thanks you for the suggestion and help with the first genuine little smile you've seen from him. Though it isn't until you're both leaving the building that he musters his bravery and asks you to dinner "to thank you, I mean." You're pretty sure he's not being entirely truthful based on his blush but you agree all the same.

And then a few weeks of daily dinners together after work, telling the customers that you're his girlfriend isn't a lie any longer.

☕☕☕☕

Did I get carried away with this? Yes. Do I regret it? Not one bit <3

Cats&Coffee - C.SC

😻Who; Choi Seungcheol (Seventeen) with fem!reader 😺What; A lot of my brand of humour, perhaps borderline crack? Firefighter!Seungcheol. Business owner!Reader. Sort of a coffee shop au. Brother's best friend au. Reader is Shua's twin. [Simp!Chan as a background character but Simp!Chan is very important to me okay.] 😸Wordcount; 5.8k 🐱Warnings; Fire/arson mentions- nobody is hurt though and its not the main characters. Profanity. A lot of suggestive comments but no smut. More like sexual conversations. Reader is thirsty. Reader is kind of a brat but playfully. Mentions of bruises. Seungcheol calls reader princess&baby once. Implied Dom!Seungcheol but not actually shown. Let me know if I've missed any warnings, I'm terrible at knowing what to mention!

Although there isn't any smut, this is definitely an 18+ fic so Minors do NOT interact.

Summary; Okay, so here's the situation; you're just amusedly watching your best friend where he's perched up on a branch trying to convince the little cute fluff ball you are supposedly rescuing to get down, when some very attractive firefighters arrive to save the day. Low and behold, the leader of the bunch is the manifestation of your wettest wildest dreams; all buff and a little cocky and you're pretty certain he's showing off in that tight t-shirt for you. Do you; A- approach and flirt until he throws you over his shoulder or B- approach and flirt, and then completely forget to exchange numbers and only realise when he was long gone and then regret your very existence for the foreseeable future?

-2024 Masterlist-

A/N; This all came from one of @sluttywoozi 's anon asks I saw that I then got caught on because they mentioned firefighter!Cheol. I don't have the link to the original ask but it's on her account! So inspiration credit goes to that anon!

🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕

Lee Seokmin is probably the single sweetest person in the entire universe and everyone who meets the man will wholeheartedly agree. It is a unanimous decision that the man can do no wrong. So it's not his fault that the newest member of your cat sanctuary made a run for it out of the front door that Seokmin hadn't closed behind him quickly enough, even though it kind of is. But nobody will ever say that, least of all to the Angel-On-Earth.

"I'm so sorry," Seokmin apologises for perhaps the tenth time when he shuffles over to your side, his phone clutched in his hands and big beautiful eyes staring up in a mix of worry and guilt at where Junhui is half wrapped around the branch under him with one hand outstretched trying to coax the brown ball of matted fluff to him.

"It's not your fault." You assure, blindly reaching out to put a reassuring hand on Seokmin's left shoulder; you are too visually engrossed in what your best friend is doing to look over. It isn't the first time that Junhui has climbed a tree to save a cat, or some other kind of dramatic action for the sake of a cat, but it never fails to amuse you highly.

"I should've closed the door," Seokmin continues, lips pursed in a little pout.

"It's fine, Seokie, Jun's part cat, he's made to climb trees."

"Aren't cats really bad at getting down from trees?"

"No, they're actually good at climbing down."

"Then why did Jun climb up after that one?"

"Because he's an idiot." You snigger, your grin growing wider when your best friend yelps a little as he stretches too far and almost falls. Well, almost is quite a stretch as his long legs are wrapped entirely securely around the branch and so is half of his left arm, but you're sure that it felt like he was about to fall at least.

"Hey!" Hansol calls, sticking his head out of the entrance door to the coffee shop you owned with Junui; though the main focus of Cats&Coffee is actually the sanctuary at the back. Well, for you two and the staff, it is the main focus. You all are more than aware that the majority of the customers only visit the coffee shop with the intention of eyeing up the barista and well, you don't entirely blame them, Jeon Wonwoo is an unfairly attractive man. "I'm going to go into your bag to get your notes, hyung!"

"Okay!" Seokmin calls back, giving Hansol a thumbs up in approval. Hansol returns the hand gesture and then goes back into the store, entirely oblivious to the customers ogling him. Okay, so the customers don't just turn up for Wonwoo; they turn up for all of the men who are regularly in the building, but as Wonwoo is the sole barista and always in the shop out front and not the sanctuary out back mostly out of sight, you're pretty valid in saying the customers come for him.

"Y/N! Do something!" Junhui calls after a few more attempts to reach the cat. You take your phone out and take a few pictures of your best friend. "Not what I meant!"

"I'm sending them to Kwannie, he'll be so pissed he missed this." You mused, already tapping away on your phone to send the photos to Seungkwan, who you know will post them on the Instagram account he runs for Cats&Coffee. Not because he is an employee or volunteer and technically it's not really an official account because the man made it himself one day after his own followers kept bugging him for more photos of the drinks and hot staff from the coffee shop. But because he enjoys posting embarrassing photos of the staff. So Seungkwan runs what you and the other staff refer to as a fan account for the coffee shop and sanctuary, and he takes advantage of that joke to essentially thirst post about the men in a semi-serious way. Nobody knows if he does it for the sake of the customers, or if Seungkwan genuinely wants Wonwoo to 'grind me like those highest quality beans'.

"It's okay, Jun-hyung! I've called for reinforcements!" Seokmin assures. "Just stay right there!"

"Just get the ladder and help me yourself!" Junhui whines in response.

"I'm scared of heights though!"

Junhui sighs and thunks his head on the branch a little before he gets back to trying to inch along the branch carefully and grab the cat.

It isn't until you've put your phone back away a minute later that you register what Seokmin earlier said. "Hang on, reinforcements?" You question, turning to look inquisitively at the man still on your right and watching Junhui carefully in concern.

"Yes, my best friend knows how to handle situations like this. He's done it a lot." Seokmin answers confidently so you accept his words and go back to grinning at the sight of your best friend failing to win over a cat for the first time in his life.

Maybe you should've asked more questions though because when you hear Seokmin's name being called happily, you certainly do not expect to see a six-foot hunk of handsome fireman bouncing over with a wave and heart-shatteringly beautiful smile.

"Mingyu!" Seokmin calls back, smiling equally as bright and beautiful and then the best friend is right with you and you're trying not to gawp up at him. "Thanks for coming. Jun-hyung went up to bring the cat down and now he's stuck and the cat won't listen." Seokmin pouts over at the tree. Mingyu turns to look at the tree and pouts too. How can a man be so cute and hot at the same time? You really have no idea but Mingyu pulls it off impeccably.

"Aw, poor Jun-hyung." Mingyu coos sympathetically. "But no worries!" He perks up and turns back around to look at the pair of you. "We'll save them both! And by we I mean Soonyoung-hyung will save them; he's good at this. Animals love him!"

You notice two other men donning the same big jacket and trousers combination of a classic firefighter outfit approaching the tree and setting up the ladder. And hot damn if you weren't suddenly tempted to take up a new hobby of arson just to see them because holy shit all three of these men are ridiculously attractive. You have to swallow thickly to keep the drool in your mouth.

The shorter of the pair by the tree holds onto the bottom of the ladder securely while the other climbs it smoothly. To your genuine delight, the man simply makes an encouraging noise while extending his hand out and the little furry demon of a cat trots straight over. You can't help but burst into cackling laughter as the feline climbs over Junhui as if he is nothing more than part of the tree while your best friend gawps in disbelief.

"Told you animals love him." Mingyu grins proudly as you all watch Soonyoung traverse down the steps of the ladder, still as smoothly as he went up them even with one arm supporting the cat against his chest- its furry little head nuzzling into the man's jaw while Soonyoung giggles happily at the cute actions.

"A regular Snow White." You grin.

"I'll be right back!" Soonyoung calls to Junhui, already walking over to the three of you. "Hi! I'm Soonyoung!" He greets brightly. "Your friend says to give the cat to you?" He tries to offer you the cat but it yowls and latches onto his jacket. Luckily, the material is thick and sturdy enough that the cat's claws don't actually reach the man's body.

"I think he likes you."

"Aww," Soonyoung coos and nuzzles the cat who loudly starts to purr. "He's so lovely, what's his name?"

"He hasn't got one yet. We run a sanctuary and he's our newest rescue."

"A rescue?" Soonyoung turns round, sad eyes on you. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, the vets gave him the go-ahead, he's just a little shit who wouldn't let them groom him at all. I think we might have to shave him if he doesn't let us."

"But his hair is so beautiful." He pouts. "It'll grow back well, right?"

"Of course."

"Uhm, hello?!" Junhui yells from the branch, gaining your attention back. Even the man at the bottom of the ladder hasn't been paying him any attention.

"Oh, right." Soonyoung once again tries to hand the cat to you but the feline really doesn't want to let him go. "Mingyu, can you go up and-"

"No way." Mingyu shakes his head adamantly with wide eyes. "You know I'm scared of heights, hyung."

"You're a firefighter who's scared of heights?" You deadpan. He pouts at you. "You're right, why do firefighters even need to climb ladders anyway? Just leave him in the tree, he'll get down when he falls." Mingyu giggles a little.

"I got it," A new voice calls, one you initially assume belongs to the man by the ladder but oh are you so wrong. A fourth firefighter appears, clad in the same uniform but something about the way he wears it seems more like it was made for him. He's already approaching the tree from the road where the fire engine is parked and he had been sat inside in wait. And you are unaware of this but he had definitely been checking you out the entire time and only got out now with every intention of showing off. He stops once there and glances over his shoulder at the four of you before shucking off his jacket. Your throat dries at the sight of his broad, muscular torso filling out the fitted black t-shirt strapped over with the suspenders of his uniform trousers. And talking of those trousers, holy shit does he fill them out well. You could've never imagined yourself wanting to bite someone's ass before but here you are, practically salivating at the curve of his backside in the ugly trousers. Which is only made more obvious when he starts to climb the ladder.

You don't even notice that the three men you are standing with start to converse around you; your entire focus is on the epitome of your wet dreams manhandling your best friend down from the tree. It probably says a lot that even though you have never and will never want to bone your best friend, the sight of the attractive stranger throwing him over his shoulder and carrying him down the ladder like he's nothing really does something to you. And by that, you mean you'd really like it if the man would throw you over his shoulder, then promptly down onto his bed and climb on top. Or any surface so long as he puts himself between your thighs immediately afterwards.

And to top it off, the man doesn't even put Junhui down once both of his feet are back on the grass; he just turns and starts to approach. The man at the bottom of the ladder rolls his eyes and takes the ladder away knowing exactly what is happening here.

"I believe this belongs to you." The man states once close enough, abruptly ending the conversation the other three men are having as they look at him. Though he's just staring you down with dark eyes and you're really not going to look away either.

"I wouldn't say he belongs to me," You return, hoping he gets the hint that you are very single and very willing to mingle with him specifically.

"No? He told me you're his partner." The fireman tilts his head a little, his left eyebrow raising in question.

"Work partners!" Junhui exclaims, still flopped over the man's shoulder and seeming to be rather willing to remain there for the foreseeable future. "Not romantic or sexual, gross! Not that she's gross, she's really hot and I've heard good things from her ex-partners!" Bless Junhui for always trying to hype you up and get you a man.

"Good to know." The firefighter murmurs, gaze blatantly checking you over. You take the chance to return the favour and the three men with you quickly back up not wanting to be caught up in this very obvious and shameless flirtation. Your phone suddenly starts to audibly vibrate in your pocket and you ignore it, more interested in the man in front of you. "I think you're vibrating." He points out amusedly.

"Mm, yeah, it's just my phone." You confirm, half tempted to make a remark about how he could make something else vibrate on you if he wants, but pretty sure that's a little out of social protocol where first meetings with attractive strangers are concerned. Next time though. "Isn't he killing your shoulder?" You ask, nodding to Junhui's limp body.

"No," Though the man still puts Junhui down carefully all the same as if reminded that he really should not stand there with a stranger draped over him any longer or it'd get really weird. "I can carry more weight than him for longer."

"On your shoulder?"

"However I need to."

"Good to know." You return his earlier statement, gaze lingering on the way his chest is all but straining the material of his t-shirt. You don't notice his cocky smirk, far too invested in imagining the material tearing open and freeing his beefy body for your viewing pleasure. Physical too but those thoughts mostly come later when you're alone in bed.

Junhui stares between the two of you for a moment, wondering if either of you is going to say anything more or just continue to strip each other with your eyes. He figures it's the latter so walks off to try and claim the cat back from Soonyoung.

Neither you nor the hot fireman notice the world continuing to spin around you, up until Mingyu bounces over and pats the slightly shorter man on the shoulder with a; "Chief, we got a call, we need to go. Jihoon-hyung is already waiting to go."

"Oh, right, work." Chief replies, face twisting momentarily with displeasure before he gets back into work mode and nods. "Alright, let's go," He nods at you in farewell and Mingyu waves brightly before the tallest rushes right back to the vehicle. The other detours to pick his jacket up from the grass then jogs to climb up into the vehicle too before it pulls away, lights already flashing and siren kicking in when they're on the main road.

Kind of dazed, you toddle into the store and around the counter to lean dramatically against Wonwoo. There's a mystery stain on the sleeve of his hoodie near your face but you don't have the mental capacity to question it.

Wonwoo doesn't give you any attention until he's done with the customer in front of him. "What's with you now?" He asks, pulling his arm around from where it's pressed against your chest to sling it around your shoulders instead and tug you more against his chest. There's another mystery stain here and you vaguely recall that today is clearly a 'Wonwoo is trying to discourage is legions of fangirls' day. The man is dressed in an old, scruffy and stained hoodie and sweatpants combination; the hems barely even meet his ankles and wrists they are so old, and he has to tie the waistband of the sweatpants up with multiple shoelaces strung together because the original tie was lost years ago. But his fangirls still stare at him as if he is Adonis reincarnated. You have to admit, he still looks unfairly beautiful like this.

"I'm in lust, Wonie," You whine, squeezing around his waist as if you can get some of the frustration out that way.

The tall man makes a noise of understanding and pats your head as if you're one of the animals from out back. It actually feels pretty nice so you allow it. "Ah, the firefighter who carried Jun down. They told me you two were eye-fucking."

"I don't want to eye-fuck him, I want to fuck-fuck him." You complain, squeezing again. Wonwoo wheezes a little and forces you to loosen your hold yet doesn't remove you from his body otherwise.

"Then text him and arrange a date."

You tense then jerk back to look up at him with a gaze so devastatingly heartbroken that Wonwoo immediately cups your face and starts to coo consolingly, even if he isn't sure why you look like your entire world is crumbling down around you. "I forgot to get his number," You wail.

Wonwoo's touch stills and his face falls flat, before turning unimpressed. "You're a fucking idiot."

"I know,"

You know that if it wasn't for the new customer approaching the counter, Wonwoo would go on to tell you all the ways in which you are an idiot, but luckily for your currently very fragile ego, there is a customer so he turns to take her order and goes back to ignoring you even as you attach to his back like some kind of sad-horny parasite.

🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕

For days you mourn the loss of what you have convinced yourself would be the best dick you will never be blessed with. In this mourning, it does not at all cross your mind to simply ask Seokmin to ask his bestie to hook you up with his co-worker, nor does it cross Seokmin's mind either. It does, however, cross Wonwoo's mind but the barista is kind of cruel at times and finds other's suffering amusing. Only when it's not serious though because Wonwoo can be a bit of a sadist but he's not an asshole. Regardless of who does or does not think up the logical solution to your suffering, you continue to suffer for days.

Until you are pretty much handed the perfect opportunity to reunite with your lost-lover by the genuine last person you'd expect.

"Wait, what the fuck did you just say?" You demand, interrupting your brother's words as he talks away to Chan by the counter in an attempt to stop the youngest man from waxing poetics over your eyes, or ass, or maybe even your philtrum, you can never tell with your simp of a neighbour.

"I was telling Chan about the fundraiser I'm helping out with for my friends," Joshua answers, giving you a suffering look- the same look he always wears around Chan because, well, who wants to hear someone blathering on about how hot their sibling is?

"You don't have friends." You retort without thought.

"More than you." Your twin scoffs and picks up his mug from the counter to sip at happily. Cats&Coffee doesn't actually offer a drink-in option purely because of how small the space is, so the mugs on hand are purely for the staff or your friends when they stop by. And Joshua, of course, has his own special mug because he's a pain in your ass but you love him more than anyone else and let him pretty much do want he wants, include supply a handpainted mug for himself to drink his drinks from at the store. Even if you think it's ugly.

"I'm noona's friend." Chan points out.

"You're her simp, you don't count." Joshua corrects.

Chan immediately turns to pout all sad and cute at you. "I'm your simp and friend, right, noona?"

"Of course, Channie," You coo, reaching over the counter to tap the tip of his nose. The younger beams happily and then sends your twin a smug look. Joshua just rolls his eyes. "What's the fundraiser for?" You ask, wanting to get back to the vital conversation.

"The firehouse-"

"When?" You gawp, leaning over the counter towards your brother with eyes wide.

"Tomorrow. Why the fuck are you looking at me like that? It's terrifying."

"Ly beautiful. You mean terrifyingly beautiful." Chan retorts simply without missing a beat before noisily sucking through his straw. Joshua chooses to entirely ignore Chan.

"I'm going." You declare. "Tomorrow, I'm going to the fundraiser."

"What? Why?" Joshua gives you a suspicious look.

"There will be a wet t-shirt contest, right?" You ask.

"What the fuck? No! This is a community event to raise funds for the family whose house burned down last week, Y/N. Not a fetish movie."

"They're called porn, Shua." You point out, pouting a little at your horny dreams being broken so ruthlessly.

"So noona won't be in a wet t-shirt contest?" Chan asks, eyes sparkling with the thought.

"I'm leaving." Joshua decides, picking up his mug to take with him and goes through to the sanctuary looking for a safe haven of his own away from you and Chan.

"Sometimes I think you two should just fuck and get it over with." Wonwoo declares from where he's perched on the stool a little further down the counter munching away on the doughnuts Chan brought with him in a way to sweeten you all up and allow him to stay longer. None of you will ever tell him that he doesn't need to bring treats every time he wants to hang around because truthfully, you are all useless at remembering to bring food to work or restocking the staff room so Chan is often the only reason any of you eat in the middle of the week.

"I think so too," Chan agrees wholeheartedly while nodding enthusiastically along.

Wonwoo grins in amusement. He always sticks around when Chan visits because he thinks it's the most entertaining thing ever how obviously obsessed with you the young man is. And, of course, Wonwoo thrives on goading the younger on and often making comments in regard to the one time you and Wonwoo fell into bed together. Well, not bed exactly, more like over that very counter late enough one night that it was really early the next morning. Regardless, Wonwoo likes to theatrically retell certain aspects of your tryst that you know are exaggerated or entirely fake just to watch Chan drool at the mental images.

"Ah, but once you've had a taste, you'll be begging for more," Wonwoo replies dramatically.

"I already beg." Chan is utterly shameless and it only makes Wonwoo's grin grow. "But I can beg more." The younger looks at you then but you're too busy texting Seungkwan to task him with getting all the information possible about the fundraiser the next day. Chan wants to interrupt and ask you if him begging more is what you want him to do, but you look too focused and he /loves/ it when you've got that serious face on so he just sighs dreamily and leans down on his elbows to stare adoringly at you.

🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕

Thanks to Seungkwan working his magic, Cats&Coffee snag a last-minute stall at the fundraiser where you, Junhui and Hansol set up all the merchandise left over from previous fundraisers. Hansol always finds these fundraisers awkward purely because the Cats&Coffee special limited edition fundraiser merchandise always consists of various items with photos of the men on them; the calendars of the men posing with cats are always a hit and a yearly preorder in November. Junhui, however, doesn't even blink twice at seeing his own face staring back at him on the reusable travel mugs and keychains. And Wonwoo happily avoids the stall to run the mini coffee truck a little to the right while pointedly ignoring the sign above him that boasts an old, edited picture of him. You and Seungkwan think Wonwoo looks absolutely precious with cat ears, whiskers and a little bell around his throat as he naps curled up with various cats. And you know the fans customers agree so the sign has remained for the past two years.

Usually, you love doing these fundraisers and get lost in convincing people to buy the merchandise, not that most of them need much convincing, to be honest. But you are rather adept at upselling with a way with words that would have the most skilled of grifters taking note and you take great pride in it. Yet today, you can't even enjoy watching Hansol awkwardly accepting payment for a photocard lucky dip that may or not be a little photo of his face, or Wonwoo trying to come up with new ways to discourage yet another of his fangirls from being a fangirl. You're much more focused on watching the man of your wet dreams where he is giving tours of the fire engine and teaching people the importance of fire safety. You'd say 'teaching kids' if you weren't positive that most of the kids were only standing and listening to him because their parents were there; and it was very obvious which of the parents were there just to ogle the attractive man and didn't give a single flying fuck about the words spilling from his mouth.

"Ohmygod, no, don't." The familiar voice of your brother breaks you from your thirsting. You turn to look at him where he is then standing between the coffee-cart and the gazebo you are seated under. "Don't tell me you only came today because you've got the hots for Seungcheol."

"Seungcheol?" You're up on your feet in seconds, grabbing a hold of your brother's weirdly sweaty face. You can't even focus on it; you have much more important matters to attend to. "His name is Seungcheol?"

"No," Joshua mutters, trying to push your hands away from where you are squishing his cheeks together into an unattractive pout. But he only has one hand free, the other holding an iced americano in a reusable cup with Seokmin's face on, so he can't really fight you off effectively or back up unless he wants to take a tumble to the gravel with Wonwoo.

"It is! Seungcheol. Man, that's a good name, sounds great. Feels great."

"Stop it, ew," He complains, looking genuinely pained at your words.

"Only when you tell me everything about him but most importantly, is he single?"

"He's my friend, don't."

"You've fucked my friends, I'm going to fuck yours whether you like it or not." Your brother whines wordlessly knowing that you have him beat there. He has definitely had various relations with various friends of yours in the past, and most certainly will in the future too.

"Ugh, fine," He concedes, slumping so you make a happy noise and let him go. Only then do you pay attention to the sweat on your palms and pull a disgusted face before wiping them on his t-shirt, though that's not exactly in a much better condition.

"Why the fuck are you so sweaty?" You eye him in pure disgust.

"Because Jihoon and I are doing demonstrations," You give him a questioning look. "Exercise, you know the thing people do to be healthy?" He rolls his eyes. "The guys asked him to lead a basic exercise demonstration to help encourage healthy habits and he asked me to help, you know, seeing as I'm a personal trainer with him."

"Oh!" You make a noise of understanding. "Jihoon is your hot colleague." Then another revelation comes to you and you gasp while hitting his arm a few times. He bats you in return then pouts as he rubs at the impact spot on his bicep. "He was holding the ladder!"

"What?" Joshua looks at you as if you're crazy. Which, honestly, is a pretty common expression he wears around you or anyone who works at Cats&Coffee or regularly spends time there. You really do associate with a top-notch bunch of weirdos.

"The other day, Junnie got stuck up a tree so Seokie called his hot bestie who turns out to be a hot fireman with hot coworkers and the only one who I didn't talk to was Jihoon! I didn't recognise him in his uniform, and he's blond now and grew his hair out?"

"Mm, yeah, looks good right?" He enthuses and you nod. "I'll tell him you said that."

"Mm sure," You agree without care. "But back to the important matter here; Chief Seungcheol." Your eyes are practically burning with how much they glisten at the thought of the buff man currently showing the hose attached to the fire engine. Man, you wish he'd show you his hose; innuendo emphatically intended.

"I'm so going to regret this but yes, he's single." Your brother sighs. "And now I know how you two met, I'm guessing you're the woman whose number he forgot to get after eyefucking her with her friend on his shoulder."

"Man, that was hot, he could throw me around so-"

"Okay, no, shut up. You're my baby sister, I don't need to hear that." He complains, backing up with a shake of his head out of the gazebo.

"You're less than an hour older!"

"Can't hear you!" He calls back over his shoulder, already jogging back to his own station across the lot.

You turn to sit back down and happen to notice the man himself standing in front of the fire engine no longer surrounded and staring in your direction, big arms crossed over his big chest and a dark look in his eyes. You expect him to turn and get back to work but he tilts his head when your eyes meet, a silent demand before he turns and walks past the huge vehicle and through the staff-only door to enter the firehouse.

"Fellas, I'm going to go get me some dick." You declare, patting Junhui on the shoulder as you pass him to edge around the table.

"Ask him how to handle his big hose!" Junhui calls without looking up from the keyrings he is rearranging. Hansol wonders how you two ever manage to run a business when you say such things so blatantly in front of customers, but then he notices the young women at the table all fawning over the merchandise obliviously and wonders no longer.

The interior of the firehouse is blessedly cool in comparison to the hot weather outside; even under the gazebo out of the sun's direct glare, you were starting to get a little sweat dappled.

"Hey," The voice makes you jump a little and you turn to find Seungcheol leaning back against a dinner table. You take a quick glance around behind him and realise it's the kitchen area. You're standing in the mostly open area of the ground floor, though there's a couch further to your right and you briefly imagine him pinning you down on it.

"Hi, Chief," You reply, sauntering closer.

"You know Shua?" He asks bluntly, not wanting to beat around the bush. He's pretty certain you both have one thing on your mind based on the way he has noticed you staring him down hungrily for the past two hours.

"He's my brother." You inform, stopping close enough in front of him that the tips of your sandals are almost touching the toes of his clunky uniform boots. You dread to think how hot his feet must be in those. For a second, you're genuinely disgusted at the thought but then you notice how his crossed arms bulge and threaten to rip the hems of his sleeves around his biceps and suddenly you don't even know what feet are.

"You're Y/N?" He gawps, arms dropping to his sides in disbelief and crushing disappointment. You hum, nodding and pouting a little at the lack of bulging biceps in your vision. But then you realise you can now see his pecs stretching out the black material and you're happy again. "Stop," He mutters and reaches up to physically tilt your head up so that you're no longer blatantly checking him out with heavy eyes. "You know your brother is pretty much my best friend, right?" He genuinely looks pained. "I can't fuck you,"

"Yes, you can." You smirk and step closer, pressing your palms to his chest. You can feel him inhale deeply when you make a home for yourself against him, your thighs locked between each other's and so close to applying pressure exactly where you both want it. "He's essentially given his blessing."

"He has?" He doesn't fully believe you; that doesn't sound like the Joshua he knows, but he's a weak-ass man when it comes to you. Literally, he already decided he'd do some insane things from the moment he first saw your backside while he was checking you out in the fire engine the other day. So he lifts his hands to initially settle on your hips but they very quickly, almost immediately, slide down to settle in your back pockets. Not quite touching you up but pretty fucking close.

"Mm, well, blessing isn't the right word. I told him that he's fucked enough of my friends that he has no say in which of his friends I fuck."

"Do you plan to fuck any of his other friends?" He raises an eyebrow and tugs you a little closer.

"He doesn't have any friends." You retort and he huffs a short laugh. "Just Jihoon, right? I mean, he does look really fucking good blond so-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, princess." Seungcheol mutters darkly, almost glaring at you in warning. You bite back a grin. "So I'll ask again; do you plan to fuck any of Shua's other friends?"

"Depends if you disappoint me or not, doesn't it, Chief?" You tease, winding your arms around his neck with a playful smile.

"You're never going to want to fuck anyone else when I'm done with you,"

"That bad, huh?" His face drops. It takes everything in you to not crack up laughing. "Going to put me off sex in general?"

"Shua's right, you're a fucking brat."

"Mm, yeah." You confirm shamelessly and press against him entirely. "Kinda think you're into it though, Chief."

"Is that going to be a thing? Calling me Chief? Or do you just not know my name?" He wonders, head tilting a little and one arm wrapping tight around your waist, while his thigh between yours pushes up between your legs making your eyes light up with joy. Finally you have him.

"I know your name, but shouldn't I call the boss by his title?" You coo faux-innocently.

"I'm the boss, huh?" You nod and he smirks. "Damn fucking right, baby."

Seungcheol doesn't wind up pinning you to the couch, not right then at least. He does however take you upstairs to the office and bend you over the desk until you have bruises in the shape of his hands on your hips and nothing but his name on your tongue. And as it turns out, he was right. You never want to fuck anyone but him again.

🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕🐈☕

A/N- I know this reads like it should end in smut and I did intend to write it but I'm very certain I would not do the vibes justice, I'm so out of practice with smut. But maybe in the future? But if you want some good smut, go read sluttywoozi's stuff fr, you will not be disappointed

Anyway, I hope you liked, please let me know what you think& reblog!