#half the story is told like it's a seasonal mission (the PC runs up to two NPCs and just. stands there while they talk)

[atomicbooquet]

destiny disappoints and makes me sad once again

[walterdehn3-blog]

FORTNITE V BUCKS GENERATOR For Money

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[softcoregamer]

Top 5 games I played in 2016

I actually played some games made in 2016 in 2016, for once.

honorable mentions

Dragon Age Inquisition has some interesting looking wrinkles to the Chosen One RPG formula- for one you can pretty much decide whether you believe you actually ARE the Chosen One, and the game looks quite reactive to things like class and race choice.  I like the high concept of the story but can’t stand Bioware’s dialogue, and the combat didn’t do much for me in the few hours I played, but I’m sure I’ll pick it back up properly at some point.

Unravel is a charming puzzle-platformer which makes good use of diegtic elements to feel organic and natural, which sometimes works against it because it can be hard to tell what bits of the environment can be manipulated to progress.  I’m a little embarrassed to admit that this game, while it looks beautiful, just isn’t flashy enough to convince me to spend that much time with it.

Doom 4, or D44m (there is already a game just called Doom, you philistines) kind of came out of nowhere; everyone was expecting it to be a nu-FPS trudge through halls of blobs that are called Cacodemons for brand recognition.  Instead it’s a fast-paced, blood-soaked, surprisingly-colourful romp through halls of blobs that are called Cacodemons for brand recognition.  I rented it on PS4 and will definitely buy it at some point when I upgrade my PC.  I have trouble justifying any PS4 purchase because almost every single game I’ve played on it has loading times that would have to be cut in half for me to consider them unacceptably long, and this game is no exception.

dishonorable mentions

Fallout 4 stripped out the role playing from an iconic role playing series and replaced it with a settlement building minigame. Fuck off.

Bound is a feels platformer about a pregnant woman imagining her traumatic childhood memories as a princess made of triangles defending her kingdom from a monster. Instead of combat you dance to produce a force field which protects you from flames and swarming triangles. You have three dance moves but I couldn't see any difference in their effects. The platforming isn't very good and it's impossible to run off a ledge because they put invisible walls everywhere because they didn't want to frustrate players of their bullshit feels game by having gameplay. Bound robbed me of two hours of my life that I can never get back.

If I never hear another “the only reason to not like No Man’s Sky is if you are too intellectually enfeebled to comprehend how good it is” it will be too soon.

Anyway, onto the top 5!!!!

5: Batman: Arkham Knight

I barely have any complaints about this game, but not much stands out as great either. The gameplay is polished and there’s a good amount of variety in side missions, the graphics are spectacular, it’s got great Batmanfeel with heft and weight to your actions, mixing up the brawling with an acceptable video game approximation of detective work. The Batmobile/Bat-tank is used way too much, though, and while the cutscenes are excellent the story is middle-of-the-road, and much of the gameplay is a bit too familar after the previous two games.  The PC release was atrocious and I’ve got no idea if it remains so since I played this on PS4. Overall I can see myself giving the DLC season pass a try, which is a huge mark in a game’s favour.

4: Brigador

Gorgeous looking isometric tank shooter.  The totalitarian dictator of the planet Novo Solo has been assassinated, and the invading Solo Nobre Concern is hiring independent contractors (that’s you!) to soften up the capital city for their takeover by destroying high-value targets, orbital cannons, and any scenery that gets in your way. It’s highly challenging, gameplay is smooth and slick, and it includes a huge selection of characters, vehicles and weapons, not to mention a banging soundtrack and an Official Novel which chronicles the adventures of several Solo Nobre soldiers trying to get through the last night of life as they know it.

3: Blue Revolver

Like all the best shmups Blue Revolver is like a diamond- a miraculous fusion of beauty and structural intricacy, small but perfectly formed, and absolutely rock hard.  It’s brutally difficult but scrupulously fair, punishing you with instant death when you slip up but always welcoming you back with a friendly smile to try again.  It goes out of its way to make itself accessible to newbies without being condescending, and I’ve seen it get high praise from genre veterans too.  It includes a selection of “missions” to train you to think like a shmupper, and provide extra challenges outside pure survival and score attack.  I don’t particularly like the art style or much of the music, but the gameplay is so good that this is going to be a fixture on my PC for years to come anyway.

2: The Witcher 3

CDProjekt Red’s action RPG is overrated but the “complete” edition is nonetheless consistently entertaining and great value for money, with my fairly thorough playthrough weighing in at nearly 140 hours(and not a radiant quest in sight), around 10 of which came from the first expansion, Hearts Of Stone, and nearly thirty from Blood And Wine- I’ve heard it said that B&W could almost have been sold full price as The Witcher 4, and I’m inclined to agree.  Get this game on PC if you can.

1: Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

It’s difficult to place MGSV.  It’s clearly frustratingly incomplete- many missions have little weight to the story, there are few enemy types and encounter designs are samey, with the admittedly cool preparedness system (enemy equipment responds to your playstyle so sneaking around at night results in enemies wearing night vision goggles, headshots mean more helmets, etc) not actually doing that much to switch things up in the long run. The story is poorly paced, and feels a lot like the developer was struggling to balance a linear story with the linearity-unfriendly open-world genre.  Chapter 2 (of 2, with the online multiplayer component apparently constituting chapter 3) consists largely of harder versions of Chapter 1 missions- not “oh, you had to find a microfilm in that mission and now you have to find a microfilm in this one, but literally the other mission was called THE MICROFILM and this one is [EXTREME] THE MICROFILM.  Most of the story is told through audiologs, which go way too exposition-heavy and really feel like a last-minute solution to not being able to have more cutscenes because Konami turned off the money hose without warning.  A lot of the game feels like that, a first draft which would then be iterated on to get things right.  Obsidian Entertainment’s design director Josh Sawyer once roughly defined “alpha” as “you would cringe but eventually shrug if it went out in that state” and I think a lot of cringing and shrugging ended up happening at Kojima Productions.

And yet... the gameplay is clearly what they worked the hardest on for longest, and it’s as smooth and responsive as I’ve ever seen in a stealth game.  Whatever the last Metal Gear game was that I tried to play (maybe MGS3?) was nowhere near this in terms of deciding what you want to do and then doing it in an instant, without stumbling over which combination of buttons makes you go prone.  Add to that a ton of options, from smoke grenades to hide your escape, sleep grenades to knock enemies out, dummies to distract them, way too many types of guns, grenade launchers, rockets, a dog who will slit enemies’ throats for you and howl in triumph... And if you can divorce the story from it’s pacing it’s really great, surprisingly low-key and haunting for a military espionage thriller featuring a man with a mullet and eyepatch called Snake.  It’s all about the emptiness of revenge and the pain of loss, and about the lie at the heart of every myth about a Great Man, and about how if your circumstances dictate who you are then how do those circumstances come to be, who controls them, and why?  It’s shot through with references to two core concepts, phantoms and parasites, as you sneak around the battlefield as a mercenary, feeding off war(the ending reveals that...spoiler).  The story even makes the incomplete nature of the game feel kind of cool in a meta way- we feel the phantom pain of where the rest of the game should be.  It was our game!  Give it back!!  They played us like a damn fiddle!  That’s not enough to forgive everything, obviously, and the game really does suffer from a lack of content on par with the amount of playing it actually wants you to do(even at optimum efficiency it’d take well over 200 hours to unlock all the weapons and equipment) but it’s still resonating with me months later despite everything.  It’s hard to resist popping the game back in to collect some more soldiers for my base, maybe try the multiplayer and find some nukes to disarm for that special final cutscene.  It may be a disappointment to Metal Gear fans, but I’m not a Metal Gear fan, and I find it hard to justify putting it anywhere on my Top Games I Played In 2016 List except at number one.  It’s lame and unfinished, it sucks a big fat chode, and it’s one of the greatest games of all time.