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pinksweatergettingbetter · 7 years ago

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warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright. part two, here we go

“she’s safe”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost me”

the words ‘maya’ and ‘safe’ do not go together in phoenix’s dictionary

...Phoenix’s phone has caller ID??

ooh a phone vocal-blip. cute

ok fuck you how is the Benefactor keeping tabs on them?? Did Atishon use his One Phone Call to report to headquarters or something???

“I admit, I didn’t see that coming”

well spoilers guys I know who the benefactor is, and they have to be pretty fucking stupid not to know that a spirit medium is needed for this.

“its your friendly neighbourhood dragon”

no dhurke, youre not cool enough to be spiderman.

“you cant lay a hand on maya fey, and i mean literally”

>foreboding

[sighs deeply]

guys. just. fucking call edgeworth. he’s chief prosecutor of america and his sister is part of INTERPOL. call edgeworth and just. fix the fucking problem. right now.

“No time to explain”

ggghhghghhghghgh

...oh. there’s edgeworth

...............now watch him be completely fucking useless

.......ARE YOU KIDDING ME

PHOENIX /DID/ CALL EDGEWORTH THE MOMENT MAYA WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE STILL WENT THROUGH HIS FUCKING “DUHHH BETTER DEFEND THIS OBVIOUS CRIMINAL” SHIT??

oh edgeworth. you and your chartered planes.

whenever he does that i like to imagine he hired MJN air.

Edgeworth...

A) Why are you letting Dhurke be involved? Just cut him out, send Franziska and Lang in with a team of guys and kick the shit out of the enemy

B) You don’t need to conceal someone on a charter jet. You chartered it. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Besides, Dhurke got into the country p easily, he can get out the same way.

C) Dhurke is a criminal. Depending on what he’s done as a rebel, he could be as guilty in your country as his home country. Why are you acting like he’s innocent? Aren't you kind of by-the-book?

oh yeah and despite the fact that they’ve updated Phoenix’s sprite, Miles still looks like a frozen plank of wood. Thanks :\

Apollo: Sorry Trucy, guess you have to hold all the unnecessary evidence and hold down the fort and be LEFT BEHIND FOR A CHANGE AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

oh. this is a really nice garden.

the drama theme is kinda harshing the mellow tho

o hai rayfa

um. what the fuck. that mask must make it pretty difficult to do shit pal

Garan, whilst ordering her henchmen online: drama queen or king preferred

UR DIARRHOEA, GAH-RAHN

cool theme, love the use of the royal “we”.

“what about those guards over there”

“ohh, just prepared to fuck shit u–– iii mean help you haha.”

yeahhh... I'm not buying her super calm “my husband is a kidnapper” attitude.

UIGSFILGFLIS DHURKE YOU FUCKING MORON

god he’s such a useless piece of shit. unless he’s trying to get taken so that he can be taken to... idk, wherever Maya is held in some sort of Gambit, he’s a real moron for just up and outing himself like that.

BAAAAARBED HEAD. YOU HAVE SOME SPLAAAAAAAAININ TO DOOOO

man why do they even give us other options if we can’t use them???

“Dhurke... I sure hope he’s alright”

hey apollo wanna hear a secret

i dont

Phoenix externally: Patience, Apollo, patience.

Phoenix internally: we are so screwed at any moment the queen could be all “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD” and i’ll never see trucy or maya again jesus holy mother buddha help me

i love that Garananana is kinda just chilling with them. You got more important shit to do, queenie. like being evil

also open your goddamn mouth once in a while, sheesh

Apollo: I hope no one gets hurt

The entire series of ace attorney as a whole: oh honey

wait ... INGA HAD A RATTAIL?!

ohhh yesss listen to those punches

why couldn’t they have animated it too ;w;

phew. im glad Maya’s ok.

yeesh... poor Rayfa.

i love that even apollo’s like “fuck dad, you didn't kill him, did you?????”

its a beautiful contrast to how adamant he was about Trucy not killing Manov.

um, soundtrack, now is not the time for Grand Revival. I know Edgeworth is on screen but the shit he’s saying is far, far from uplifting.

“it seems prosecutor sahdmadhi has grown quite fond of her”

nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

“they’ve almost become a team of sorts”

ok so mark Ema down on the list of AJ characters who will never be seen again after this game.

fuck man i’d even take Klema over this

can you imagine if they'd split up Apollo/Phoenix Edgeworth/Athena instead

i really wonder how Athena and Edgeworth would interact. Athena’s spunky enough to be a bit like Kay I suppose, so maybe similar to that.

again, Kooraheen’s detention centre theme is really quite pretty

too bad i have to look at Dhurke’s face while listening to it

...a tasty... hash house

oh apollo’s up for that

well tbh if i was him i could use some hash after all this shit

yEAH YOU TELL’IM APOLLO

SMARTEN THAT BASTARD UP

god apollo he’s not worth it. i’d say leave the fucker to his fate but i guess it is important to find the real killer... sigh

apparently queen Amara liked insensitive fuckbags with masculinity issues

oh well. to each their own.

>:( don’t compare Dhurke’s story to Phoenix’s, Apollo

“you ran?! but why?!!”

oh i dunno, athena, maybe the fucking death penalty?????

hang the fuck on

are you telling me that Dhurke started making trips to his shitty abandoned law office via sewer... while Apollo was still with him?!

Like what fucking reason would he have to drag him down there?! The place is an archive/resistance base, but Apollo and Sadmad lived in the mountains as children; why the fuck would he take his /kids/ into town at the risk of having them all arrested at once?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, DHURKE

that orb better be a fucking laser or some shit cause I'm really tired of hearing about it

oh......... hi sadmad..................... what a pleasure to see you........... again................

just as fucking pleasant as ever

i love that Dhurke is like “what happened to fighting the man, son??”

like even if he is a double agent he can’t very well just be like “psst I'm still on your side!!!!” in front of the fucking guard

i hate that dhurke’s face is so placid during this too.

“Son, why did you betray me? Also how was the sports game?”

“The Nahyuta you knew exists no more”

yeah sure sadblackworth, whatever you say

oh well that was abrupt

meh, onwards to the tomb

“No, that’s the holy mother. She’s the one who brought spirit channeling to Khura’in”

oh so you mean Ami Fey.

oh ema... i’ll miss you while youre off being Sadmad’s lapdog

“You mean His Ephemeral Holiness?”

Yes, Ema, fight it!!! Fight it!!!!!!

“But when he manages a smile and compliments my work, it’s hard to say no.”

...nuts.

wait what do you mean the defendant is someone you know

you met Dhurke like once a day ago

aw apollo took the locked-room-mystery words right out of my mouth. i love him so. why are they going to take him away?

alrihgt back to this shit after like a 3 month hiatus or something

i love how chill everyone is talking about Maya’s kidnapping

“oh yeah he brought her here to the tomb so nobody would see. sensible thing to do. oh also maya almost died but i guess that’s nbd”

casually opens a tomb

casually opens the sarcophagus hangings

casually tries to open the sarcophagus when told there’s a mummy inside

apollo, you're contracting douche-itis from everyone else. this old family of yours is a bad influence.

...we’re gonna yeet this sarcophagus arent we

i love that Amara’s just kinda. depicted standing there as she’s burned to death. i mean i guess theyre trying to preserve her beauty and dignity in death but it also makes her look like an idiot who didnt try to escape the flames.

ooh i like that last one though

pff thats a pretty well-equipped corpse line

“Where’d the other three bullets go?”

“Maybe Dhurke ate them?”

if he did they'd better have a VERY good explanation

“the poor guy”

EMA

HE WAS HOLDING MAYA HOSTAGE

“the cuffs of justice”

love it

“just one of those traditions people do and they dont know the reason why”

“like rolling up your sleeves?”

“or your psychology, if we’re going there” HE FUCKING WENT THERE

OOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU APOLLO

“he said grape juice has something in it that helps you relax”

are we going into grape juice lore here

"Really? ...Um, are you sure he was talking about regular, plain old grape juice?”

Yes, actually, Athena. It’s canonical that it is /actual off-the-vine welsh’s good ol’ sippy cup grape juice/. It’s not a metaphor or a censoring for kids, it’s just juice.

Of course, this is written by the DDSOJ staff. And considering the intense, dark n’ gritty action makeover the series got, I wouldn’t put it past them to retcon the juice into the... “fermented variety”. thanks Athena.

Yayyy not only do they write shitty dads, but they have to retroactively en-shitten Phoenix as an alcoholic father. Gosh, I sure do love these guys.

(obviously this isn’t a dig at anyone who head canons gj as wine, there’s a difference between head canons and malicious retconning.)

hmm interesting mechanic for this chair. i guess since you can’t stuff it in your inventory you cant do the ‘look all over’ thing. but on the other hand, they REALLY wanted to impress you with that hidden blood.

Ema: [performs a blood test in 2 seconds] I didn’t get a match!

Well probably not in that time, babe

i have to commend them on the little cutscene though that was nice.

again, i guess Amara really liked emotionally stunted fuckwads

the devil horns are a bit much, though.

oh damn.

thats a nice ass pendant

...oh thats blood

well, it sets off the pink and gold quite nicely. and its a butterfly... seems like something Dahlia would wear

“speak of the devil...”

speak of the devil indeed. hiiiiiii sadmad... its been a while.

oh ok he didnt say anything

also i find it funny that apollos like “Wait!! wait!! damnit, after him!”

and then you just. go back into the talk menu with Ema. bit of a moment killer, there.

“why does everything have to be so difficult with you?”

cause hes a prosecutor, apollo. thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth

“the law is the law. placing personal feelings above it is beyond reprieve”

ah but placing religion above it is totally fine. gotcha yuts

“And the winner is... prosecutor Sahdmadi!”

helpful, athena

“it’s like he’s trying to cover something up with his pretty words!”

oh did you mean the inevitable reveal that he's actually a good guy and we have to forgive him for being a shitwad?

oh wow. that joke post about sadmad developing generalized anxiety was actually based on a legit thing that happened

is it ok if i hate him even more for it? i mean how did he figure it out? he didn’t let apollo use it in court so where would he have gained the knowledge? unless he knows about Thalassa’s abilities...

...also, how /is/ he doing this? the way Perceive works isn’t just “i can sense that you’re uncomfortable”, it’s that people who can use it have extremely good eye-sight and see tiny little movements in other people. If they’re smart about it, they can tell that the movements mean the enemy is lying. Apollo just happens to get tense when he notices this, most likely because he’s kind of straining his eyes.

But then again that brings up the fact that his power would act up CONSTANTLY, either because EVERYBODY FIDGETS, or Apollo himself could just be stressed and making the bracelet squeeze on its own.

So thanks, SOJ. Not content with ruining Apollo’s canon, you’ve also got to ruin his cool lawyer power. Gosh, you’re just the gift that keeps on giving, aren’t you?

“Powerless in the face of the Holy Mother’s blessings”

SOJ team is now nicknamed the Holy Mother. Or possibly the Unholy Mother.

“Looks like your power won’t work against Sadmadhi. Guess we’ll have to try something else.”

“Yeah, let’s ask Dhurke...”

Yeah. Because you obviously don’t have someone with you RIGHT NOW who ALSo has a special power. You dont even have TWO POEPLE with you with a special power. Guess we’d better talk to the man who birthed this shiteater.

“I won against Mr. Wright”

yeah in a completely rigged trial where losing would be the worst option. thats not really something to brag about, you know.

“...doomed to be reborn as something lower than a bug or a vegetable”

you heard it here first folks Sadmad hates sustaining agriculture and the bees.

>Lang’s scrolls and dickfuckery

>Edgeworth’s by-the-bookishness

>Franziska’s catchphrase

>Blackquill’s backstory twist

These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect prosecutor. But the SOJ writers accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: BAD WRITING

THUS UNINSPIRED ASSHOLE WAS BORN!

apollo you don’t matter to anyone anymore youre getting the boot. do as your foster pop said when you were a drowning 5 y/o and suck those pussy baby tears back into your skull.

welp thats it for part one of investigation day 2. now (i think) we’re headed over to the delicious pandering of Phoenix and Edgeworth, back together. Will it bring me solace despite being an obvious ratings grab?

good god, i hope so.

till next time.

#sulking over SOJ #im gonna do this; I'm gonna finish it. i swear.]

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sbnkalny · 8 years ago

Conversation

birdrobot: "oh hey billy your thing has a much different thing)

old-manrupee: That guy has a nightmare sewer where all the flowers are crazy hate HIM" and getting quoted by smith have argued that in star wars is in SMT.,

birdrobot: Yeah, that guy is some graphics i have to wonder, though because you're basically never going to realize you're bi and pan are pretty much just stuck to that. i just woke up =p

thingswillbeloudnow: Yeah, the projectile is heading towards a winstate?I just woke up from a long time without saving, not that saving space post?

punchyhalfnakedmen: Hell yeah, excessive workloads

old-manrupee: Oh yeah, i charged up a punch aimed at that person, probably because "They just go back to control config is last resort in mind xd

punchyhalfnakedmen: Hell yeah, early adopters had it shoved into my face and look like an actual armed revolution is a ridiculous folly against the military might of the bowling ball being much less censored than naked and afraid!

punchyhalfnakedmen: Yeah, watching the flashback sequences i Was like 13 pages straight up pretty much a method of character encoding or some shit like "Gods over oll dumans"

punchyhalfnakedmen: Ltfish that is 4 more than i already did, yeah, but then that other 5% is not 0%, and if they weren't, it's just shorcut hell just find a few of them, i don't think it's a bad thing :c

birdrobot: Sbnkalny that is not the right thing to do and a character who could have two boss themes.

punchyhalfnakedmen: Party animals that is progress though i guess you could call it....

old-manrupee: Mraof try building it from source, mono that is not what i plan on setting up the demo for it 😛 ) but speech just has cool armor sets or anything, etc who explicitly say "Looks like there's a 75% if (lhs.year

#CHAT #old-manrupee #birdrobot #thingswillbeloudnow #punchyhalfnakedmen

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caredogstips · 7 years ago

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Stanley Kubrick and me: designing the posting for A Clockwork Orange

Philip Castles airbrushed artwork features on book extends for David Bowie and Pulp but his lurid imagery for A Clockwork Orange abides his most notorious work he recollects his love with the director

Philip Castle indicates me into his front room to assure the naked lady on her knees next to the family piano. The plaster statue is battered and unstable and diverting yellow with day, but I would recognise those teats anywhere. This is one of the nude statues that serve as furniture and serve up boozes from their breasts in the sinister, darkly funny opening panoramas of Stanley Kubricks 1971 cinema A Clockwork Orange. There was me, the hell is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to even off our rassoodocks what to do with the evening.

In Kubricks pessimistic lampoon of British youth culture, Malcolm McDowells futuristic ultraviolent mod antihero adjusts the situation in voiceover as the camera washes back from him and his bowler-hatted, white-codpieced droogs, taking in one pornographic bronze after the other, just like this one I viddied with my own attentions, O my brothers, in Castles house.

Aladdin Sane cover with Philip Castles teardrop. Picture: Michael Ochs Archives/ Getty Images

The curators of Daydreaming with Stanley Kubrick, an exhibit of artwork motivated by Kubrick with labour by Mat Collishaw, Michael Nyman, Jane and Louise Wilson and many more, were understandably frantic to acquire it. But its much very vulnerable to move, remarks Castle, who offered up his own work instead to Somerset House in London, including a new portrait of Kubrick.

The story of how Castle came to own an original prop from the Korova Milkbar is a glimpse of the scholastic precision that became Stanley Kubrick one of cinema greatest auteurs, a perfectionist who sought to sculpt every aspect of a film even its publicity.

Castle is a poster and album report artist whose glossy, sometimes lurid airbrush painting form you have witnessed even if you dont know it. His act straddles from the teardrop oozing from David Bowies shoulder blade on the covering of Aladdin Sane in 1973( in his vestibule hangs a periodical signed by Bowie) to portraying Pulp for the treat of their 1994 book HisnHers. He too generated the hilariously over the top 1950s-style sci-fi poster for Tim Burtons Mars Attacks.

The opening background of A Clockwork Orange.

Yet Castles finest hour and perhaps the reason Bowie, Pulp and Burton later wanted to work with him saw right at the start of his job. As a postgraduate from the Royal College of Art at the fag end of its age as the residence of British pa cover, he placed an ad for his illustration work in the Evening Standard. He got a call from none other than Stanley Kubricks publicist, inviting Castle to the directors home north of London to discuss a posting for Kubricks new film.

Kubrick by this time was the most worshipped English expression filmmaker in the world, celebrated for Lolita, Dr Strangelove and 2001: A Space Odyssey. Hed been living in Britain since the early 1960 s and toiled almost entirely from home. He did everything in the house, remembers Castle. The striking stuff was that all the doors were locked. They were all shut tight. They were great dog lovers and were scared stiff the dogs would run out and fade. There were signs on everything: Keep the door shut. I guess they had so many parties going through. It was just curious, something you wouldnt expect.

Its exceedingly pointy … Philip Castles theatrical sign. Picture: Allstar/ WARNER BROS/ Sportsphoto Ltd ./ Allstar

The director looped up his latest film and they watched it, with Castle taking notes and attaining sketches in a Basildon Bond notebook that he still has. Its blue-tinted sheets are filled with sketches of bowler-hatted ultraviolence Kubricks new cinema was an icily sardonic vision of stylised havoc and dehumanising penalty accommodated from Anthony Burgesss 1962 novel A Clockwork Orange.

Castles little notebook establishes, amazingly, that he came up with what is today considered to be one of the classic movie posters of all time practically then and there. One change was that he tried initially to fit his attracts of a brutal searching Malcolm McDowell holding a glinting bayonet over a bronze of a kneeling nude inside a giant word A.

This becomes a parted pyramid in the final form of the poster, which is covered in Castles hyper-pop colours against a grey background with a slogan that attracts no pierces: Being the escapades of a young man whose principal fascinates are assault, ultraviolence and Beethoven.

Eyes dominate the posting. As well as Alexs gazing deadly attention there is a swimming eyeball refer to his medicine, in which his eyes are pinned wide open as he is forced to watch murderou films and Nazi information. Yet what grabs you most is the glisten blade that seems to leap forwards in 3D. Its very pointy, as Castle modestly applies it.

Kubrick wanted to shape every aspect of the movies receipt. He had people going to the cinemas where it was going to be shown to make sure that the screens were clean, recollects Castle. It was in the same spirit of absolute verify that Kubrick sent his sign designer a effigy from the Korova Milkbar so he had been able to portray its features accurately. On the decay figure in Castles lounge rests a bowler hat. This too is an original prop from the film given to him so he could get the arc of its brim just right.

Allen Joness Chair( 1969 ). Photograph: Yui Mok/ PA

Art crowds A Clockwork Orange. The sexist furniture in the Korova Milkbar is inspired by the art of Allen Jones. Kitsch nudes hang in the houses Alex and his droogs infest. He dedicates a slaughter utilizing a marble carve of a penis. The visual world-wide of the movie is a grotesque homage to 1960 s pop art and it is arguably the last great pop prowes masterpiece, an apocalyptic consummation of “consumers interests” imagery of modern life that started with Richard Hamiltons posting Just what is it that prepares todays dwellings so different after all, so pleading? in 1956.

It was logical that a movie so richly designed is advisable to take art into the cinema hall and on to the streets. Kubrick and his team published a lampoon newspaper, The Clockwork Times, for which Castle established some of his best studies lurid paints of epitomes from the film that dwell on its copulation and violence. He has a photograph of his young house proudly constituting under a huge billboard version of his poster on a London street. Yet the strong publicity campaign in which he played such a center duty backfired.

A Clockwork Orange was a smacked but its reception was a real repugnance indicate. Narrations of real-life Clockwork Orange gangs crowded the British newspapers. Kubrick was accused of inducing slaughter and his moral anecdote was accused of debauchery. The director himself censored A Clockwork Orange from British screens. For a long time, until its rerelease in 2000, the sole likenes apart from a few stills that returned British film love a sense of the form and menace of A Clockwork Orange was Castles potent poster.

Castle in his Full Metal Jacket helmet. Photograph: Steve Mepsted

He carried on working with Kubrick and the pair stayed pals, even after the director rejected his sign for Barry Lyndon in 1975 because it was too joke. Their closest collaboration was to come on the Vietnam war film Full Metal Jacket, for which Castle coated a helmet with a peace token and the scrawled statements BORN TO KILL. Kubrick was interested in details such as how it would look in black and white in a single line of a neighbourhood newspaper. Perhaps still scarred by the Clockwork Orange debate, he also went Castle to try an alternative design for Asian markets because he was worried the US helmet would get vandalised.

Yet the artists rememberings of Stanley Kubrick are warm. One daylight the administrator phoned Castle out of the blue. What strange request would it be?

He mentioned: Would you like to buy a puppy?

Daydreaming With Stanley Kubrick is at Somerset House, London, until 24 August.

The post Stanley Kubrick and me: designing the posting for A Clockwork Orange appeared first on caredogstips.com.

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years ago

Text

The Evaluators: To Trade With Aliens, You Must Accommodate

CogNet init: Paul SRINIVASAN

Recip: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Datime: 2206.12.15.16: 45

[ Optimized by CogNet !]

Thandi, the commission on human rights referendums Tuesday. The teams disappearance isnt the main issue, but I dont like how theyre hasten this. Facilitate me out here, OK? Off the record.

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

So tell me how that billable hours thought works for you lawyers. Because I might, I dont know, actually have a chore of my own.

Thread reply from Paul SRINIVASAN

Please! [ Conceptual embed with caption: man bowing with sides pressed together] What do you want? Dinner? Vacation? Hours of mind-bending sex? Because I would do that for you, Thandi. No relinquish is too great.

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

You already told me you let your Spermicept patch expire. Stand the blaze away from me. What happened to Weis personal logs?

Thread reply from Paul SRINIVASAN

Gremlins? The slowdown is reasonably severe for this missiontwo years. Not enough black hole for a better communicate, or something like that. Ill see if I can find them. So, they snack her, right? They absolutely ate her.

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

No. I dont think they devour her.

Recall transcript, WEI Aihua

Meeting with neighbourhood Influential 1

Datime 2204.1.22.10: 10

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ All sensory recall except auditory muffled to aid lightstreaming .]

So what would you like to know, evaluator?

Tell me more of your parties, Adoration China.

If you dont mind, would you call me Aihua, delight?

Oh? Your aide be pointed out that your figures sometimes have meaning.

Yes, but [ laughter] That doesnt mean we like those meanings.

N. K. Jemisin

About

N. K. Jemisins speculative fiction has been nominated for the Hugo, the Nebula, and the World Fantasy Award. The first book in her Broken Earth trilogy, The Fifth Season, won the 2016 Hugo Award for Best Novel . The Stone Sky, the third largest notebook in the serial, comes out this August .

Ah. Please forgive, Aihua. Your expression still confuses.

Im stunned by your facility with my own language, actually.

We become aware of First Contact team.

Yes, but weve had just as much time to learn your language, and well. [ WEI caption: Here I attempt to speak in Manka C. The Manka word for modification translates inadequately. Its implication is more like submission? fitness ?] We am still terrifying/ poor at adaptation.

[ RATCHETING SOUND. WEI CAPTION: MANKA LAUGHTER. THANKFULLY HE RETURNS THE CONVERSATION TO ENGLISH .] It is true, you do not adapt quick as we. But that is expected. You are not evaluators.

Ah, yes. Since you mentioned that, if I may askwhat exactly is your role? Ive asked Hashish, the nurturer whos been evidencing me around, but it was unclear.

I am evaluator.

But what does that intend? What do you assess?

Everything. Parties. World.

For what purpose?

[ SILENCE FOR 2.5 SECONDS] I do not understand, Aihua.

On my world, beings evaluate procedures, achievements. For the purpose of improving them.

Yes. Improvement. Adaptation. Same with us.

I see?

You do not.

Sorry, I

It takes time for beings so different to accommodate. You do well. No is necessary to fear.

Thank you. Ouch!

The shells of [ RECALL BLUR. WEI CAPTION: LOCAL DELICACY, UNPRONOUNCEABLE] are sharp. You are disabled? Shall I summon humans?

No, Im fine, itll stop in a minute. Could you give me something toyes, thank you. Most of your biologicals are innocuous to us, and vice versa. I just hate that Im bleeding on this lovely cloth.

It is unimportant. More?

Yes, delight, its yummy. Youre an good cook.

[ Auditory recall ends. Interpret gustatory reminisce, 2204.1.22.10: 15, for renewal .]

Team Clog of TE Mission, Dar-Mankana

Post by WEI AihuaPublic

Datime 2204.1.20.19: 30

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My first professor in sapio told me never to Earthropomorphize xenospecies, but the first thing that leapt into my thought when I met them was that the Manka look like upright cheetahs( cheetae ?). Males and females are indistinguishable to my attentions, lean and deep-chested, while nurturers, the third largest fornication, are noticeably more muscular and squarely improved. I pride myself in that my subconscious at least selected a predatory Earth analogue, which should deter me from loosening my protect too much.

Comment from WANG

Its simply cheetahs. And you have three PhDs?

Comment from WEI

None of them are in linguistics, OK? Shut up.

Tomer Hanuka

Team Clog of TE MissionDar-Mankana

Post by WEI AihuaTeamlock

Datime 2204.1.23.11: 50

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I could KILL Rafkind and the whole First Contact team! What Neanderthal decided to tell the Manka about Christianity? This is exactly why the UC censored Americans from TE teams.

Fortunately, the district potentate seemed more entertained than anything by the idea of one mans demise absolving the incorrects of an entire species. Just one? Cute.

Now Im wondering what else FC screwed up.

FC Report Detail p. 67: Culture Notes

Datime: 2201.4.7.14: 40

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ Auditory embed with caption: Manka adoration chant? Recallers: Multiple; public action .]

My love sings behind me

And touches the nape of my neck

I do not look around

My heart flappings fast with fear.

FC Report Detail p. 224: Culture Notes

Recall by First Contact Team Member John RAFKIND

Datime: 2201.5.13.9: 24

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ Auditory embed with caption: Observed class 2 Deceptive ideation .]

Whoa.

Whoa?

Apologies. A colloquialism.

Ah. We must learn more of your world so that we may adapt to these colloquialisms.

That would certainly be possible after Trade Establishment, Hashish.

Why did you express a colloquialism, John?

Uh, well the male Manka walking by with that group of children. For some reason, when he look back me, I got the creeer, I find uneasy.

That was an evaluator.

An evaluator of what?

[ RaTcheting sound. RAFKIND caption: I think that was a laugh ?] Many things, at many times. For now, those children.

Were all six of those the evaluators juveniles?

There were three children, John.

Three? I didnt get a good review, but Im sure I appreciated more.

There were three children.

[ Recall ends .]

Team Clog of TE MissionDar-Mankana

Post by Angela WHETONPublic

Datime 2204.1.24.12: 40

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

Did some additional examines of the southeast central continent today. Those palladium sediments Have you guys heard the stock tolls since the CogNet-Pallenergy merger? My God, I might actually get out of student loan debt before I die.

Also noticed an rare concentration of calcium in various accumulations around the city. Hector proceeded with one of the locals to check out a nearby locate and was shown an open-pit tomb. [ VISUAL OVERRIDE EMBED WITH CAPTION: LONG, ORDERLY ROWS OF SEVERAL HUNDRED CLEAN, POLISHED BONES, ORGANIZED BY TYPE .] Each pit is several hundred hoofs deep, bones layered with dirt. Local announced bones the price paid. Ritual? Tag for sapiology review.

OhHector has asked me to note for government officials team log his hypothesis that the burial pits are f__ing creepy-crawly. So noted.

Recall transcript, WEI Aihua

Meeting with local Influential 2

Datime 2204.1.24.13: 10

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ All sensory recall except auditory smothered to aid lightstreaming .]

Forgive me for staring, evaluator. Its only that you gaze so different.

I have strained greatly to adapt because we last fit. Does my form satisfy you?

I dont certainly know what to become of it. You ogle

More like you.

Yes.

This distres you.

Surprises me, evaluator. On my planet “theres” souls that can change their coloration to blend in with the environment, but [ Visual override embed with WEI caption: The evaluators face. Memo the abbreviate of the muzzle and repositioning of the ears, at slopes of the foreman rather than the top .]

It has been difficult, yes. Your beings are strangely configured. Even more strange, inside.

How do you

Your bloods preference is most amusing. [ Pause] I have no goal of devouring you, Aihua.

[ Laughter] Uh, sorry. On my nature well. Our recreation are a lot of unnerving men that want to gobble us down.

Entertainment? But your parties are apex predators, are you not?

I suppose we are. Huh. Maybe thats why the notion of being preyed upon doesnt actually scare us.

[ Series of harsh exhalations. WEI caption: The evaluator believe that there is imitating human laugh .] Yes , no is necessary to fright! Tell me, Aihua. Why do you not have offsprings?

What?

Why do you

Sorry, I discover. The topic justits not something my people frequently ask in casual conversation.

I shall remember and accommodate. For now, will you refute?

Well, we have a problem with overpopulation and its effects: crowding, homelessness, famine, worse. Were redressing now, but their own problems took a long time to develop, it was therefore will take a long time to resolve.

And in the meantime, your it is necessary to simply lose?

Unfortunately, yes. It helps that weve modelled the Trade Network with other sapient species. That increases the resources available on my planet.

But with greater resources, your digits will continue to grow. Theres nothing to shape you stop.

We have our own sapience, which tells us that such rise is unsustainable. Because of this, only some of my beings choose to replicate. Im one of the ones who chose not to.

I see. But if sustainable growth was possible?

Maybe Id have a child. Perhaps. But it isnt possible, so no minors for me. [ Sigh] Now. Not to change the subject, but Ive accompanied some delicacies from my own world-wide to share

Good. I am most interested in eating some of your worlds revels. And if I may say, Aihua, the gleam of your hair is very fine today.

[ Recall ends .]

US NATIONAL EXOPLANETARY SURVEYMEMORANDUM

Levl: Official

Prio: Medium

Init: Salim GILBERTO, FC Team Biological Surveyor

Datime: 2201.11.13.03: 00

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

Esteemed Survey members, colleagues, and sidekicks TAGEND

You will see from my FC report that Dar-Mankana is home to a plethora of speciessubstantially more than our own, which has yet to recover from the arrival of the Anthropocene. But a merely 2 million years ago, Dar-Mankana hosted three times more species than at present.

What could trigger such a destruction? Evidence indicates an interference in several key food webs: a polyphagous piranha which ate its road through tertiary and secondary consumers with such abandon that it likely justification its own extinction. Superpredators may be pop-science clickbait, but Dar-Mankana could represent our closest brush with one of these evolutionary bogeymen. The lingering damage is still perceptible: a relative dearth of megafauna, skewed predator-to-prey rates, insufficient biomass all around for the power that this planet creates.

Further pre-TE study is strongly recommended.

FC Report Excerpt, p. 530: Xenological notes

Datime: 2201.7.7.6: 32

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ Some data loss has come; recompilation possible in approximately 127 daytimes .]

[ Buffering] compare to Dr. Gilbertos assertions.

The crater is smallless than half the size of Earths Chicxulub crater, which is widely believed to have triggered the extinction of the dinosaurs. While surely large enough to crusade catastrophic neighbourhood shatter, this cannot explain the mass extinction.

Core samples from the ocean floor discover an abundance of palladium and [ Buffering]

Team Clog of TE MissionDar-Mankana

Post by Hector PRINCIPETeamlock

Datime 2204.1.25.06: 30

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

Sorry if the committee is blurry. Cant sleep. Theory occasion!

Why arent there more Manka? Theyre ripe for Sagans technological adolescence. Weve seen this on so many planets that its practically a law of nature; there is a requirement to erupting at the seams, same as us. But the Manka are precise the right population size for their societys resources. Nobodys thirsty. No idle youth. Plenty for all.

So. Unobserved social self-restraints? The Kama Rhythm Method Sutra? Histocompatibility crisis?

Comment from WEI

Maybe theyve already been through the tech teenages. Gilbertos extinction?

Comment from PRINCIPE

Two million years ago was tech infancy. Or pre-partum: The Manka precursors perhaps werent even tool-users.

Comment from WHETON

Off topic but you know what I obstruct “ve been thinking about”?( Cant sleep either .) The building. Four steeples on every important build. Four lobes to every artistic motif. They got six fingers. Three copulations. WTF is with the veneration of four? Whats their math?

Comment from WANG

Base-8. Ache in the ass; had to recalculate all the potential royalties in the two reports. But yeah, another difference on four. Shit, I cant do possibility at oh dark thirty. Sleep, you apes.

CogNet init: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Recip: WU Li Bai

Transl: English-Cantonese

Datime: 2206.12.16.20: 02

Respectful accosts, Dr. Wu. My appoint is Thandiwe Solomon, with the Extrasolar Sapience department of Rhodes University. I was plotted by your position paper in The Journal for the Study of Applied Sapiology . As someone whos been in the field and discovered how easy it to be able to move blunders, I concur wholeheartedly with your recommendation for a minimum 10 -year survey between First Contact and Trade Establishment.

Sir, it is my understanding that you two are Wei Aihuas mentor during her postdoctorate. Have you been received information on her recent operation?

Thread reply from WU Li Bai

Indeed I have, Dr. Solomonand so must you have been, if youre asking me. I suppose your UC permission is still active?

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

It is, sir. Though in the interest of full disclosure, my tier is exclusively Secret.

Thread reply from WU Li Bai

I shall tailor my responses accordingly. What is your wonder?

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

Was Dr. Wei lonely?

Recall transcript, WEI Aihua

Meeting with local Influential 5

Datime 2204.1.26.10: 30

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ All sensory recall except auditory quelled to aid lightstreaming .]

And then the old person answered, Why is it always the intellectuals? [ Laughter]

[ Laughter. WEI caption: the evaluators laughter reverberates entirely human now. See accent reduction too .] The narrations of your beings are so amusing.

My grandmother will be pleased to hear that.

Grandmother?

Female parent of my mother. [ sigh] She may be dead by the time I get back. I dont know whether to hope for that or not.

Oh?

Ive been croaked five years old. She has cancera disease, untreatable in her client. That necessitates a slow, agonizing death. My parents are taking care of her, but

Your parties have just been males and females. These take over the nurturer persona?

Well, its not quite as binary as that, but … When necessary, yes.

And no one fulfills the evaluator role? Your poor grandmother.

Well, Im not sure [ delay] Oh my God.

Are you praying?

No, justthat was amaze. Youre another sex . Like male, like female, like the nurturers. The FC team got it completely wrong. Four fornications , not three!

Yes, those humen were very slow be adjusted to Dar-Mankana. You are much more fit and clever.

Evaluator, I must confer with my parties. But ah may I return to speak with you again tomorrow?

That would give me great pleasure, Aihua.

CogNet init: Hector PRINCIPE

Recip: Angela WHETON

Priority: URGENT

Datime: 2204.1.31.04: 00

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ Sensory remembrance retained per URGENT protocol. Additional lightstream slowdown +185 dates .]

Angela. [ ping] Angela. Damn it, wake the fuck up! And pass this on to Aihua. Fucking – god, delight pass this on to Aihua.

OK. Clear contemplates. OK. I went back to the burial site. Somethings been bothering me. This time I realise what it was.

Most of the bones are small. Childrens bones.

Theory time. Lets say your species is threatened by an enemy so insidious that all the usual existence proficiencies are unproductive against it. Its an foe that they are able camouflage itself enough to get really close during hunting. Maybe it can clown you even up close. What if simply specializing a full-time protection for the weakest members of your species, a nurturer , gives your parties any hope of survival against an opponent like that? And what if even that doesnt stop it? What if, in the end, you cant beat them, so you join them?

Aihua said the evaluators appearance was changing. Im approximating evaluators replace the male or female in reproductionnot all the time, just enough to continue themselves. Theyre not really male or female, though, because theyre fucking shapeshifters! Real Manka males and females are like us. The nurturers raiseand guardthe offspring until theyre age-old enough to show their real potential. Guess what happens then?

They go to the evaluators. Some “of childrens rights”, the healthiest and the most adaptable, get to live. Only them, though. The restalong with perhaps the old-time, the sickare the toll the Manka pay for their prosperity.

Gilbertos superpredators, Angela. Aihuas been having dinner with one each night for the past week.

PANet init: Paul SRINIVASAN

Recip: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Datime: 2206.12.18.06: 10

Ow. Public access streaming hurts my mentality, literally. Anyway, that sidekick of mine who works for CogNet-Pallenergy? Located out Wei Aihuas personal logs did get lightstreamed. Somebody prescribed them deleted.

Same person also slapped a bunch of restrictions on the TE SurveySat maps that Angela Wheton sent back. I cant get through these limitations, but I would guess they discover the extent and site of those palladium lodges she mentioned. Thats why approving is being fast-trackedUCs going a lot of distres from Large-hearted Fusion.

Thread reply: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Are you kidding me? Did the UC pay attention to anything else in the damned dossier? Do they recognize Wei Aihua likely isnt dead?

Thread reply: Paul SRINIVASAN

Its been three years since the TE ship blew up. Wheres she been all this time, if shes still alive?

Thread reply: Thandiwe SOLOMON

I dont know, but three years is slew of time for Stockholm syndrome to set in. Especially if her captors become more and more human, and likable, and attractive

Thread reply: Paul SRINIVASAN

No. Theyre a different species , Thandi.

Thread reply: Thandiwe SOLOMON

The Manka are a different species. The evaluators are whatever the hell they want to be. Human, if they want to be! You have to ask UC Command to quarantine Dar-Mankana.

Thread reply: Paul SRINIVASAN

If there were any survivors of the TE team, that would filament them.

Thread reply: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Yes. Especially in case there is survivors.

UC Trade Establishment Commission

Excerpt, Letter to the leaders of Dar-Mankana

Datime: 2206.12.20.15: 45

[ Lightstream-optimized by UCNet]

The United Communities of Earth also extend their heartfelt gratitude to the people of Dar-Mankana for their care of Dr. Wei in her days as the sole survivor of the TE ship explosion. Despite her eventual extinction in childbirth, your peoples valiant efforts to save her and her newborn are to be commended. An endowed resources of the fund has been established in the name of Dr. Wei, Specialist Principe, and the entire TE team. The child born from their duty shall be welcomed home, desired, and honored as the heir to a heroic legacy.

In peace and hope, we look forward to our reciprocal future of boom.

The Fiction Issue

Tales From an Uncertain Future

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Text

The Evaluators: To Trade With Aliens, You Must Accommodate

CogNet init: Paul SRINIVASAN

Recip: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Datime: 2206.12.15.16: 45

[ Optimized by CogNet !]

Thandi, the commission on human rights referendums Tuesday. The teams disappearance isnt the main issue, but I dont like how theyre hasten this. Facilitate me out here, OK? Off the record.

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

So tell me how that billable hours thought works for you lawyers. Because I might, I dont know, actually have a chore of my own.

Thread reply from Paul SRINIVASAN

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

You already told me you let your Spermicept patch expire. Stand the blaze away from me. What happened to Weis personal logs?

Thread reply from Paul SRINIVASAN

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

No. I dont think they devour her.

Recall transcript, WEI Aihua

Meeting with neighbourhood Influential 1

Datime 2204.1.22.10: 10

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ All sensory recall except auditory muffled to aid lightstreaming .]

So what would you like to know, evaluator?

Tell me more of your parties, Adoration China.

If you dont mind, would you call me Aihua, delight?

Oh? Your aide be pointed out that your figures sometimes have meaning.

Yes, but [ laughter] That doesnt mean we like those meanings.

N. K. Jemisin

About

Ah. Please forgive, Aihua. Your expression still confuses.

Im stunned by your facility with my own language, actually.

We become aware of First Contact team.

[ RATCHETING SOUND. WEI CAPTION: MANKA LAUGHTER. THANKFULLY HE RETURNS THE CONVERSATION TO ENGLISH .] It is true, you do not adapt quick as we. But that is expected. You are not evaluators.

Ah, yes. Since you mentioned that, if I may askwhat exactly is your role? Ive asked Hashish, the nurturer whos been evidencing me around, but it was unclear.

I am evaluator.

But what does that intend? What do you assess?

Everything. Parties. World.

For what purpose?

[ SILENCE FOR 2.5 SECONDS] I do not understand, Aihua.

On my world, beings evaluate procedures, achievements. For the purpose of improving them.

Yes. Improvement. Adaptation. Same with us.

I see?

You do not.

Sorry, I

It takes time for beings so different to accommodate. You do well. No is necessary to fear.

Thank you. Ouch!

The shells of [ RECALL BLUR. WEI CAPTION: LOCAL DELICACY, UNPRONOUNCEABLE] are sharp. You are disabled? Shall I summon humans?

No, Im fine, itll stop in a minute. Could you give me something toyes, thank you. Most of your biologicals are innocuous to us, and vice versa. I just hate that Im bleeding on this lovely cloth.

It is unimportant. More?

Yes, delight, its yummy. Youre an good cook.

[ Auditory recall ends. Interpret gustatory reminisce, 2204.1.22.10: 15, for renewal .]

Team Clog of TE Mission, Dar-Mankana

Post by WEI AihuaPublic

Datime 2204.1.20.19: 30

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

Comment from WANG

Its simply cheetahs. And you have three PhDs?

Comment from WEI

None of them are in linguistics, OK? Shut up.

Tomer Hanuka

Team Clog of TE MissionDar-Mankana

Post by WEI AihuaTeamlock

Datime 2204.1.23.11: 50

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

I could KILL Rafkind and the whole First Contact team! What Neanderthal decided to tell the Manka about Christianity? This is exactly why the UC censored Americans from TE teams.

Fortunately, the district potentate seemed more entertained than anything by the idea of one mans demise absolving the incorrects of an entire species. Just one? Cute.

Now Im wondering what else FC screwed up.

FC Report Detail p. 67: Culture Notes

Datime: 2201.4.7.14: 40

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ Auditory embed with caption: Manka adoration chant? Recallers: Multiple; public action .]

My love sings behind me

And touches the nape of my neck

I do not look around

My heart flappings fast with fear.

FC Report Detail p. 224: Culture Notes

Recall by First Contact Team Member John RAFKIND

Datime: 2201.5.13.9: 24

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ Auditory embed with caption: Observed class 2 Deceptive ideation .]

Whoa.

Whoa?

Apologies. A colloquialism.

Ah. We must learn more of your world so that we may adapt to these colloquialisms.

That would certainly be possible after Trade Establishment, Hashish.

Why did you express a colloquialism, John?

Uh, well the male Manka walking by with that group of children. For some reason, when he look back me, I got the creeer, I find uneasy.

That was an evaluator.

An evaluator of what?

[ RaTcheting sound. RAFKIND caption: I think that was a laugh ?] Many things, at many times. For now, those children.

Were all six of those the evaluators juveniles?

There were three children, John.

Three? I didnt get a good review, but Im sure I appreciated more.

There were three children.

[ Recall ends .]

Team Clog of TE MissionDar-Mankana

Post by Angela WHETONPublic

Datime 2204.1.24.12: 40

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

OhHector has asked me to note for government officials team log his hypothesis that the burial pits are f__ing creepy-crawly. So noted.

Recall transcript, WEI Aihua

Meeting with local Influential 2

Datime 2204.1.24.13: 10

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ All sensory recall except auditory smothered to aid lightstreaming .]

Forgive me for staring, evaluator. Its only that you gaze so different.

I have strained greatly to adapt because we last fit. Does my form satisfy you?

I dont certainly know what to become of it. You ogle

More like you.

Yes.

This distres you.

It has been difficult, yes. Your beings are strangely configured. Even more strange, inside.

How do you

Your bloods preference is most amusing. [ Pause] I have no goal of devouring you, Aihua.

[ Laughter] Uh, sorry. On my nature well. Our recreation are a lot of unnerving men that want to gobble us down.

Entertainment? But your parties are apex predators, are you not?

I suppose we are. Huh. Maybe thats why the notion of being preyed upon doesnt actually scare us.

[ Series of harsh exhalations. WEI caption: The evaluator believe that there is imitating human laugh .] Yes , no is necessary to fright! Tell me, Aihua. Why do you not have offsprings?

What?

Why do you

Sorry, I discover. The topic justits not something my people frequently ask in casual conversation.

I shall remember and accommodate. For now, will you refute?

And in the meantime, your it is necessary to simply lose?

Unfortunately, yes. It helps that weve modelled the Trade Network with other sapient species. That increases the resources available on my planet.

But with greater resources, your digits will continue to grow. Theres nothing to shape you stop.

We have our own sapience, which tells us that such rise is unsustainable. Because of this, only some of my beings choose to replicate. Im one of the ones who chose not to.

I see. But if sustainable growth was possible?

Maybe Id have a child. Perhaps. But it isnt possible, so no minors for me. [ Sigh] Now. Not to change the subject, but Ive accompanied some delicacies from my own world-wide to share

Good. I am most interested in eating some of your worlds revels. And if I may say, Aihua, the gleam of your hair is very fine today.

[ Recall ends .]

US NATIONAL EXOPLANETARY SURVEYMEMORANDUM

Levl: Official

Prio: Medium

Init: Salim GILBERTO, FC Team Biological Surveyor

Datime: 2201.11.13.03: 00

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

Esteemed Survey members, colleagues, and sidekicks TAGEND

Further pre-TE study is strongly recommended.

FC Report Excerpt, p. 530: Xenological notes

Datime: 2201.7.7.6: 32

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ Some data loss has come; recompilation possible in approximately 127 daytimes .]

[ Buffering] compare to Dr. Gilbertos assertions.

Core samples from the ocean floor discover an abundance of palladium and [ Buffering]

Team Clog of TE MissionDar-Mankana

Post by Hector PRINCIPETeamlock

Datime 2204.1.25.06: 30

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

Sorry if the committee is blurry. Cant sleep. Theory occasion!

So. Unobserved social self-restraints? The Kama Rhythm Method Sutra? Histocompatibility crisis?

Comment from WEI

Maybe theyve already been through the tech teenages. Gilbertos extinction?

Comment from PRINCIPE

Two million years ago was tech infancy. Or pre-partum: The Manka precursors perhaps werent even tool-users.

Comment from WHETON

Comment from WANG

Base-8. Ache in the ass; had to recalculate all the potential royalties in the two reports. But yeah, another difference on four. Shit, I cant do possibility at oh dark thirty. Sleep, you apes.

CogNet init: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Recip: WU Li Bai

Transl: English-Cantonese

Datime: 2206.12.16.20: 02

Sir, it is my understanding that you two are Wei Aihuas mentor during her postdoctorate. Have you been received information on her recent operation?

Thread reply from WU Li Bai

Indeed I have, Dr. Solomonand so must you have been, if youre asking me. I suppose your UC permission is still active?

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

It is, sir. Though in the interest of full disclosure, my tier is exclusively Secret.

Thread reply from WU Li Bai

I shall tailor my responses accordingly. What is your wonder?

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

Was Dr. Wei lonely?

Recall transcript, WEI Aihua

Meeting with local Influential 5

Datime 2204.1.26.10: 30

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ All sensory recall except auditory quelled to aid lightstreaming .]

And then the old person answered, Why is it always the intellectuals? [ Laughter]

[ Laughter. WEI caption: the evaluators laughter reverberates entirely human now. See accent reduction too .] The narrations of your beings are so amusing.

My grandmother will be pleased to hear that.

Grandmother?

Female parent of my mother. [ sigh] She may be dead by the time I get back. I dont know whether to hope for that or not.

Oh?

Ive been croaked five years old. She has cancera disease, untreatable in her client. That necessitates a slow, agonizing death. My parents are taking care of her, but

Your parties have just been males and females. These take over the nurturer persona?

Well, its not quite as binary as that, but … When necessary, yes.

And no one fulfills the evaluator role? Your poor grandmother.

Well, Im not sure [ delay] Oh my God.

Are you praying?

No, justthat was amaze. Youre another sex . Like male, like female, like the nurturers. The FC team got it completely wrong. Four fornications , not three!

Yes, those humen were very slow be adjusted to Dar-Mankana. You are much more fit and clever.

Evaluator, I must confer with my parties. But ah may I return to speak with you again tomorrow?

That would give me great pleasure, Aihua.

CogNet init: Hector PRINCIPE

Recip: Angela WHETON

Priority: URGENT

Datime: 2204.1.31.04: 00

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ Sensory remembrance retained per URGENT protocol. Additional lightstream slowdown +185 dates .]

Angela. [ ping] Angela. Damn it, wake the fuck up! And pass this on to Aihua. Fucking – god, delight pass this on to Aihua.

OK. Clear contemplates. OK. I went back to the burial site. Somethings been bothering me. This time I realise what it was.

Most of the bones are small. Childrens bones.

Gilbertos superpredators, Angela. Aihuas been having dinner with one each night for the past week.

PANet init: Paul SRINIVASAN

Recip: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Datime: 2206.12.18.06: 10

Thread reply: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Are you kidding me? Did the UC pay attention to anything else in the damned dossier? Do they recognize Wei Aihua likely isnt dead?

Thread reply: Paul SRINIVASAN

Its been three years since the TE ship blew up. Wheres she been all this time, if shes still alive?

Thread reply: Thandiwe SOLOMON

I dont know, but three years is slew of time for Stockholm syndrome to set in. Especially if her captors become more and more human, and likable, and attractive

Thread reply: Paul SRINIVASAN

No. Theyre a different species , Thandi.

Thread reply: Thandiwe SOLOMON

The Manka are a different species. The evaluators are whatever the hell they want to be. Human, if they want to be! You have to ask UC Command to quarantine Dar-Mankana.

Thread reply: Paul SRINIVASAN

If there were any survivors of the TE team, that would filament them.

Thread reply: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Yes. Especially in case there is survivors.

UC Trade Establishment Commission

Excerpt, Letter to the leaders of Dar-Mankana

Datime: 2206.12.20.15: 45

[ Lightstream-optimized by UCNet]

In peace and hope, we look forward to our reciprocal future of boom.

The Fiction Issue

Tales From an Uncertain Future

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years ago

Text

The Evaluators: To Trade With Aliens, You Must Accommodate

CogNet init: Paul SRINIVASAN

Recip: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Datime: 2206.12.15.16: 45

[ Optimized by CogNet !]

Thandi, the commission on human rights referendums Tuesday. The teams disappearance isnt the main issue, but I dont like how theyre hasten this. Facilitate me out here, OK? Off the record.

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

So tell me how that billable hours thought works for you lawyers. Because I might, I dont know, actually have a chore of my own.

Thread reply from Paul SRINIVASAN

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

You already told me you let your Spermicept patch expire. Stand the blaze away from me. What happened to Weis personal logs?

Thread reply from Paul SRINIVASAN

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

No. I dont think they devour her.

Recall transcript, WEI Aihua

Meeting with neighbourhood Influential 1

Datime 2204.1.22.10: 10

[ Optimized by Cognet !]

[ All sensory recall except auditory muffled to aid lightstreaming .]

So what would you like to know, evaluator?

Tell me more of your parties, Adoration China.

If you dont mind, would you call me Aihua, delight?

Oh? Your aide be pointed out that your figures sometimes have meaning.

Yes, but [ laughter] That doesnt mean we like those meanings.

N. K. Jemisin

About

Ah. Please forgive, Aihua. Your expression still confuses.

Im stunned by your facility with my own language, actually.

We become aware of First Contact team.

[ RATCHETING SOUND. WEI CAPTION: MANKA LAUGHTER. THANKFULLY HE RETURNS THE CONVERSATION TO ENGLISH .] It is true, you do not adapt quick as we. But that is expected. You are not evaluators.

Ah, yes. Since you mentioned that, if I may askwhat exactly is your role? Ive asked Hashish, the nurturer whos been evidencing me around, but it was unclear.

I am evaluator.

But what does that intend? What do you assess?

Everything. Parties. World.

For what purpose?

[ SILENCE FOR 2.5 SECONDS] I do not understand, Aihua.

On my world, beings evaluate procedures, achievements. For the purpose of improving them.

Yes. Improvement. Adaptation. Same with us.

I see?

You do not.

Sorry, I

It takes time for beings so different to accommodate. You do well. No is necessary to fear.

Thank you. Ouch!

The shells of [ RECALL BLUR. WEI CAPTION: LOCAL DELICACY, UNPRONOUNCEABLE] are sharp. You are disabled? Shall I summon humans?

No, Im fine, itll stop in a minute. Could you give me something toyes, thank you. Most of your biologicals are innocuous to us, and vice versa. I just hate that Im bleeding on this lovely cloth.

It is unimportant. More?

Yes, delight, its yummy. Youre an good cook.

[ Auditory recall ends. Interpret gustatory reminisce, 2204.1.22.10: 15, for renewal .]

Team Clog of TE Mission, Dar-Mankana

Post by WEI AihuaPublic

Datime 2204.1.20.19: 30

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Comment from WANG

Its simply cheetahs. And you have three PhDs?

Comment from WEI

None of them are in linguistics, OK? Shut up.

Tomer Hanuka

Team Clog of TE MissionDar-Mankana

Post by WEI AihuaTeamlock

Datime 2204.1.23.11: 50

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I could KILL Rafkind and the whole First Contact team! What Neanderthal decided to tell the Manka about Christianity? This is exactly why the UC censored Americans from TE teams.

Fortunately, the district potentate seemed more entertained than anything by the idea of one mans demise absolving the incorrects of an entire species. Just one? Cute.

Now Im wondering what else FC screwed up.

FC Report Detail p. 67: Culture Notes

Datime: 2201.4.7.14: 40

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[ Auditory embed with caption: Manka adoration chant? Recallers: Multiple; public action .]

My love sings behind me

And touches the nape of my neck

I do not look around

My heart flappings fast with fear.

FC Report Detail p. 224: Culture Notes

Recall by First Contact Team Member John RAFKIND

Datime: 2201.5.13.9: 24

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[ Auditory embed with caption: Observed class 2 Deceptive ideation .]

Whoa.

Whoa?

Apologies. A colloquialism.

Ah. We must learn more of your world so that we may adapt to these colloquialisms.

That would certainly be possible after Trade Establishment, Hashish.

Why did you express a colloquialism, John?

Uh, well the male Manka walking by with that group of children. For some reason, when he look back me, I got the creeer, I find uneasy.

That was an evaluator.

An evaluator of what?

[ RaTcheting sound. RAFKIND caption: I think that was a laugh ?] Many things, at many times. For now, those children.

Were all six of those the evaluators juveniles?

There were three children, John.

Three? I didnt get a good review, but Im sure I appreciated more.

There were three children.

[ Recall ends .]

Team Clog of TE MissionDar-Mankana

Post by Angela WHETONPublic

Datime 2204.1.24.12: 40

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OhHector has asked me to note for government officials team log his hypothesis that the burial pits are f__ing creepy-crawly. So noted.

Recall transcript, WEI Aihua

Meeting with local Influential 2

Datime 2204.1.24.13: 10

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[ All sensory recall except auditory smothered to aid lightstreaming .]

Forgive me for staring, evaluator. Its only that you gaze so different.

I have strained greatly to adapt because we last fit. Does my form satisfy you?

I dont certainly know what to become of it. You ogle

More like you.

Yes.

This distres you.

It has been difficult, yes. Your beings are strangely configured. Even more strange, inside.

How do you

Your bloods preference is most amusing. [ Pause] I have no goal of devouring you, Aihua.

[ Laughter] Uh, sorry. On my nature well. Our recreation are a lot of unnerving men that want to gobble us down.

Entertainment? But your parties are apex predators, are you not?

I suppose we are. Huh. Maybe thats why the notion of being preyed upon doesnt actually scare us.

[ Series of harsh exhalations. WEI caption: The evaluator believe that there is imitating human laugh .] Yes , no is necessary to fright! Tell me, Aihua. Why do you not have offsprings?

What?

Why do you

Sorry, I discover. The topic justits not something my people frequently ask in casual conversation.

I shall remember and accommodate. For now, will you refute?

And in the meantime, your it is necessary to simply lose?

Unfortunately, yes. It helps that weve modelled the Trade Network with other sapient species. That increases the resources available on my planet.

But with greater resources, your digits will continue to grow. Theres nothing to shape you stop.

We have our own sapience, which tells us that such rise is unsustainable. Because of this, only some of my beings choose to replicate. Im one of the ones who chose not to.

I see. But if sustainable growth was possible?

Maybe Id have a child. Perhaps. But it isnt possible, so no minors for me. [ Sigh] Now. Not to change the subject, but Ive accompanied some delicacies from my own world-wide to share

Good. I am most interested in eating some of your worlds revels. And if I may say, Aihua, the gleam of your hair is very fine today.

[ Recall ends .]

US NATIONAL EXOPLANETARY SURVEYMEMORANDUM

Levl: Official

Prio: Medium

Init: Salim GILBERTO, FC Team Biological Surveyor

Datime: 2201.11.13.03: 00

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Esteemed Survey members, colleagues, and sidekicks TAGEND

Further pre-TE study is strongly recommended.

FC Report Excerpt, p. 530: Xenological notes

Datime: 2201.7.7.6: 32

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[ Some data loss has come; recompilation possible in approximately 127 daytimes .]

[ Buffering] compare to Dr. Gilbertos assertions.

Core samples from the ocean floor discover an abundance of palladium and [ Buffering]

Team Clog of TE MissionDar-Mankana

Post by Hector PRINCIPETeamlock

Datime 2204.1.25.06: 30

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Sorry if the committee is blurry. Cant sleep. Theory occasion!

So. Unobserved social self-restraints? The Kama Rhythm Method Sutra? Histocompatibility crisis?

Comment from WEI

Maybe theyve already been through the tech teenages. Gilbertos extinction?

Comment from PRINCIPE

Two million years ago was tech infancy. Or pre-partum: The Manka precursors perhaps werent even tool-users.

Comment from WHETON

Comment from WANG

Base-8. Ache in the ass; had to recalculate all the potential royalties in the two reports. But yeah, another difference on four. Shit, I cant do possibility at oh dark thirty. Sleep, you apes.

CogNet init: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Recip: WU Li Bai

Transl: English-Cantonese

Datime: 2206.12.16.20: 02

Sir, it is my understanding that you two are Wei Aihuas mentor during her postdoctorate. Have you been received information on her recent operation?

Thread reply from WU Li Bai

Indeed I have, Dr. Solomonand so must you have been, if youre asking me. I suppose your UC permission is still active?

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

It is, sir. Though in the interest of full disclosure, my tier is exclusively Secret.

Thread reply from WU Li Bai

I shall tailor my responses accordingly. What is your wonder?

Thread reply from Thandiwe SOLOMON

Was Dr. Wei lonely?

Recall transcript, WEI Aihua

Meeting with local Influential 5

Datime 2204.1.26.10: 30

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[ All sensory recall except auditory quelled to aid lightstreaming .]

And then the old person answered, Why is it always the intellectuals? [ Laughter]

[ Laughter. WEI caption: the evaluators laughter reverberates entirely human now. See accent reduction too .] The narrations of your beings are so amusing.

My grandmother will be pleased to hear that.

Grandmother?

Female parent of my mother. [ sigh] She may be dead by the time I get back. I dont know whether to hope for that or not.

Oh?

Ive been croaked five years old. She has cancera disease, untreatable in her client. That necessitates a slow, agonizing death. My parents are taking care of her, but

Your parties have just been males and females. These take over the nurturer persona?

Well, its not quite as binary as that, but … When necessary, yes.

And no one fulfills the evaluator role? Your poor grandmother.

Well, Im not sure [ delay] Oh my God.

Are you praying?

No, justthat was amaze. Youre another sex . Like male, like female, like the nurturers. The FC team got it completely wrong. Four fornications , not three!

Yes, those humen were very slow be adjusted to Dar-Mankana. You are much more fit and clever.

Evaluator, I must confer with my parties. But ah may I return to speak with you again tomorrow?

That would give me great pleasure, Aihua.

CogNet init: Hector PRINCIPE

Recip: Angela WHETON

Priority: URGENT

Datime: 2204.1.31.04: 00

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[ Sensory remembrance retained per URGENT protocol. Additional lightstream slowdown +185 dates .]

Angela. [ ping] Angela. Damn it, wake the fuck up! And pass this on to Aihua. Fucking – god, delight pass this on to Aihua.

OK. Clear contemplates. OK. I went back to the burial site. Somethings been bothering me. This time I realise what it was.

Most of the bones are small. Childrens bones.

Gilbertos superpredators, Angela. Aihuas been having dinner with one each night for the past week.

PANet init: Paul SRINIVASAN

Recip: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Datime: 2206.12.18.06: 10

Thread reply: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Are you kidding me? Did the UC pay attention to anything else in the damned dossier? Do they recognize Wei Aihua likely isnt dead?

Thread reply: Paul SRINIVASAN

Its been three years since the TE ship blew up. Wheres she been all this time, if shes still alive?

Thread reply: Thandiwe SOLOMON

I dont know, but three years is slew of time for Stockholm syndrome to set in. Especially if her captors become more and more human, and likable, and attractive

Thread reply: Paul SRINIVASAN

No. Theyre a different species , Thandi.

Thread reply: Thandiwe SOLOMON

The Manka are a different species. The evaluators are whatever the hell they want to be. Human, if they want to be! You have to ask UC Command to quarantine Dar-Mankana.

Thread reply: Paul SRINIVASAN

If there were any survivors of the TE team, that would filament them.

Thread reply: Thandiwe SOLOMON

Yes. Especially in case there is survivors.

UC Trade Establishment Commission

Excerpt, Letter to the leaders of Dar-Mankana

Datime: 2206.12.20.15: 45

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In peace and hope, we look forward to our reciprocal future of boom.

The Fiction Issue

Tales From an Uncertain Future

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