#guys it's been really rough and I haven't posted original stuff in a while

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Fic Author Self Rec Game

When you get this, make a post with your favorite five fics you've written, then pass it on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love!

Thank you @jo-harrington for the tag. I'm so sorry I didn't get to it sooner!

Tagging: @leighsartworks216, @kittttycakes, @can-of-pringles, @16boyfriends-and-me and @a-libra-writes

I'm really curious at what you guys pick! (Also if you have any original stuff you want to share, now is the time!)

In no particular order:

I Want it All : Astarion x Evie (Ace!Tav), Angst, Asexual Guilt, Happy Ending

A surprise to literally nobody who has followed me in the past year. I think this is some of my strongest work as well as my first dive into writing an explicitly asexual character. (You can probably read a lot into some of my other works, but that's neither here nor there). I still get comments on this one and it makes me happy to see it's at least made some impact on the fandom.

Welcome to Hellfire: Eddie Munson x Lucy Henderson (OC), Fluff, Awkwardness, First Meetings

I really need to get back to writing these two, specifically Lucy's first session, especially now that I've played a lot more D&D. Getting back to the fic at hand, I think I did a good job allow Eddie to still be kind of a dick while not making Lucy look like an idiot for accepting to still play with him. He's a deceptively hard character to balance and I think it's a solid introduction to Lucy as a character.

Shaking Hands: Hawkeye Pierce x Elizabeth "Doc" O'Neil (OC), Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Canon Typical Violence

Another couple of character I need to get back to writing. While "What's Up Doc: Part 1" would be the better entry to start with these two, I still haven't actually finished it and I feels wrong to recommend something that hasn't been touched in literal years. I've changed a lot as a writer and will likely go back to touch it up. This though feels more complete. I also think I captured Hawkeye's voice particularly well in his rant towards the end. I'd still want to expand this to pace it out to a full episode, but I'm happy with how it stands now.

More Than Sufficient: Thrawn x Captain!Reader, Canon Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Pining

Admittedly most of my earlier writing I low key cringe at, but this has held up well. It gave me an excuse to write more formal dialogue which is a rarity. I like the challenge of restraint and relying more of subtext. One of these days my obession will be stoked again. In the meantime, of all my Star Wars fics, the Thrawn ones in particular stand out to me as some of my best.

Rough Day: Doctor Strange & Ellie Jackson (OC), Mentor!Strange, Hurt/Comfort, Strange trying to understand a stressed out teenager

It was a toss up between this and another Astarion x Evie fic "For All I Care", but I ultimately decided this one needed more love. I needed some representation for the Marvel fandom, and Ellie really is one of my favorite OCs (even if I'm now thinking of converting her and Cassandra into an original work). I just like exploring Strange as a mentor/father figure if only because he's not very good at it, but he tries.

[mercedesfiction]

Since I haven't posted a fanfic update for a while:

I'm currently working on a VRE smut spinoff with the working title, "Always Gets His Way."

I finished a very rough draft with about 59,000 words so far. Way more than I had originally planned, but there's also a couple of scenes I want to completely remove, along with whole scenes I'm thinking of adding that could end up making it even longer. I've started working through the draft to delete, add, and tweak. I just need to work on that til it's to my liking, but getting the rough draft was half the battle. Hoping this will be a completed work instead of continuing like I always do, but that's why it's so long. Maybe I'll still upload it in chunks since that's what I'd have to do anyway, but we'll see.

Nimbex is hoping to finish the next chapter of the Body Swap this week. Speaking with him, he mentioned how he's had it for so long that he's kind of lost the spark that we both normally get from trading the fic back and forth. He's hoping to wrap up his chapter to send it back to reignite the spark of creativity again.

I'm also working on the above spinoff to hopefully add more "canon" material for our Body Swap fic and give inspiration for its ending and direction. (I can hear Nimbex cackling now with how much this spinoff could be used against Merc in the Body Swap fic... 😅 but that's what makes the story fun to write and read.)

Pleasure House readers! I've tossed around a couple of ideas for the next chapter, but I just haven't thought of anything I really like yet. With Halloween coming up again, I may write another Halloween chapter for it that's a bit random but fun to give the fic an overall creative boost for me, too. I plan to play around with that after finishing up some other stuff, but I wanted to let everyone know that I have been at least brainstorming, I promise! xD

After all of this, I plan to work on the next main chapter of VRE. I have the next chapter laid out in mind. I just need to write it out.

That's my update and roadmap for now! Thank you to everyone who continues to read along with my crazy stories! Love you guys! Hopefully, these WIPs are worth the wait. :D

[mass-convergence]

A collarary to the advice of "they'll read it if they want to and they won't if they don't" is - they need to find it. People not reading your work is not a mark against its' quality, it's simply evidence that people haven't found it. As a published author myself I get it, it sucks when noone reads your work. It feels that you have put something out into the world and that it is being ignored. But it is not being actively ignored, it is not being judged as poor quality. It simply hasn't been found. Courage and patience. Don't be scared to send links to reviewers or people in other circles.

Sincerely - thank you.

Long, somewhat disorganized, ramble

It is frustrating, and part of this is my (admittedly ADHD related, though trying to blame it solely on that isn’t really getting the full picture) need for instant gratification and complete lack of patience in anything. And the general insecurity that if it doesn’t get some kind of recognition, positive or otherwise, that I’m just showing my whole ass to the world and people are being too polite to mention it. I also have issues with emotional regulation so it literally feels like someone’s squeezing my heart whenever I get into this state.

And I’ll be honest: I’m frustrated with people who have said they’ll read it or check it out and then never do. And I don’t feel like keeping on poking them and asking them if they are. Because I’ve gotten the “I’m sorry I’ve just been so busy” explanation about a hundred times now (only slightly exaggerating).

And I don’t want to call them liars because I’m an adult with a day job and a mountain of responsibilities that I’m only somewhat keeping up with. There’s plenty of stuff I want to watch or consume that I don’t have mental bandwidth to handle. I’ve read the first paragraph of Gideon the Ninth and I want to read more I just haven’t gotten a chance. Which also is lending to mental health issues but we do not have the time to unpack that rn.

This is something I’m passionate about and pouring my heart into and not even getting the bare minimum of support from people who purportedly said they’re interested is not really a fun spot to be in. (And I know one or two of my friends have been reading and I love you guys). My mom said she was gonna read it which is slightly terrifying because she’s not into queer fantasy but she’s also like unabashedly supportive and has been trying to get me to publish my writing and sell my art for goddamn ages. I’m not on the level of Tolkien or Pratchett or Gaiman (Martin you stay the fuck out of this) and I’m not trying to be them either. But I think I’m like decent.

And I guess I took some of the advice when I was writing fanfic that “well people who aren’t interested won’t read it so don’t worry about posting cringe” and extrapolated it to original fic. Which isn’t a 1:1 - people legitimately do not give a shit about other’s OCs unless they’re given a reason to care.

Side note: Partially the reason that while I could advertise this (and probably should) as a story lead by queer protags, two of whom are POCs, that doesn’t really tell you anything about them. Aside from representation. Admittedly: I’m not too great at self promo because I feel like I’m hyping me and my story telling ability way too much. Which is a self fulfilling prophecy when I inevitably don’t get any bites.

It’s a rough situation all around and frankly demotivating. Part of the reason I just didn’t post on Thursday because I was just so damn tired of posting and having to deal with the pain over and over again. I have a huge buffer of words and chapters and I’m frankly having a hard time deciding if I should keep posting them. I mean my last chapter didn’t get any notes except for the one reblog … which was my own fucking reblog onto this blog.

And I think I’ve come a long way from like not disparaging my own shit. I love my writing. I love my art. I just hate sharing it and not getting the same level of excitement I feel to tell a story I want to tell.

[strapstreams]

Archive Updates

Hey guys, so things have been very hectic for me IRL that I haven't really had time to go and make updates here regarding the videos that have been coming out, so I figure why not have some links to the various playlists that have been getting updates.

First up is Fate/Samurai Remnant! I believe I'd only gotten up to Episode 2 originally on the queue here before getting too busy to keep doing that AND the ones for Twitter. I've actually had a lot more episodes come out since then, with episode 9 ready to go live this Saturday! Here's the playlist, I highly suggest you go check it out, I've had a lot of fun with the game so far!

Next is Pokemon Infinite Fusion. Last update on here was episode 5, but I believe up to episode 8 is now public on the archive channel. This is another game I'm enjoying, I hope to get to show more of it soon! If you'd like to check it out, here's the full playlist!

Next up is a great classic, the Gunvolt series! I have all 5 games up on the archive channel in their own individual playlists as well as this full series playlist (which should also include my original run through GV3 with the English audio and the series review from the end of that initial run). I highly suggest you all take a look at it and if you enjoy it I hope you can join the community in wanting to see more of this great franchise!

And finally a short little playlist from my time with the 2nd DLC for Pokemon Scarlet. It goes through the story specific stuff with the DLC, not a whole lot of extra content I believe, so the Blueberry story and the Indigo Disk story but not the bonus post-story content or the Epilogue chapter. It was very much just a 1st look at the DLC and I had quite a bit of fun with it. In fact, the next Violet stream will actually start this story! If you'd like to see me messing around with the game and doing some fun voices (as well as randomly referencing stuff one of my friends and I had headcanoned with regards to Kieran's relationship to my Scarlet character, Nyx, while we waited for the Indigo Disk DLC to drop) then you should definitely check this four episode playlist out!

I will be trying to get to promote when the videos go live on here and on BlueSky more, in addition to the ones that are already queued for Twitter (BlueSky is going to be rough because I haven't been able to find a way to go and schedule posts there yet, which means right now I have to remember to manually update it and I'm often streaming at the time the videos get made public). For now, if you'd like to be kept permanently up to date when anything goes live, you can drop by the archive channel itself or the twitch channel and drop by the discord link on them (or subscribe to the archive channel, it's free and you'll get to see the occasional video that doesn't get streamed on Twitch right now) to join the discord, as I've got *THAT* one set up to automatically post updates when a video is made public on the archive channel.

[zoo-studies]

Bad things about today:

I let the exam season stress get to me and had a coffee at 5 PM so I can focus on studying

Tired

Good things about today:

I managed to take a big break from studying.

I'm trying to tell telling myself it's okay if I don't study 7 hours today.

I know this is not enough, but it took me years to even get to this point. I do not have to be studying 24/7. I do not have to push myself to exhaustion just to feel like I tried hard enough. I don't have to be productive all the time.

I just have to keep trying my best, not to get an 18/20 grade average, but to convince myself that it's okay if I don't.

[goikytown]

uhm- you guys haven't posted in a while, is everything ok?

Yeah we are both mostly fine, really. Posting on here isn't - or rather wasn’t - a priority for us since It was originally just made for organization till we decided to get more going However, I'm trying to work on a bit of a Backlog of Rough Drafts/Ideas written down so I can actually pump stuff out at a more Consitant Rate even If that means things are a bit quiet right now. Which I should've done earlier probably but things just kinda happened so! We do like working on it and we haven't been doing it as much as we want to but Nate is busy with summer school & burnout, Im trying to deal with Disability Bullshit (that I don't want to further elaborate on) and also ArtFight happened which kinda distracted us Hah But, thank you for the ask anon, we appreciate that you care. Godspeed - 💿

[kenkaodoll]

Kamiya Dojo Monogatari Tales 13 (JUMP SQ)

About Kamiya Dojo Monogatari:

Tales of Kamiya dojo is written by Kaoru Kurosaki and published along with the “Rurouni Kenshin Hokkaido” arc in JUMPSQ. The tale involves the Rurouni Kenshin character in daily life that takes time between Kenshin and Kaoru marriage until the epilogue chapter in the original manga before the Hokkaido Arc. Until this month (March 2022) there are a  total 52 chapters in Tales of Kamiya dojo. This is an unofficial translation.

Previous Story: https://kenkaodoll.tumblr.com/post/679964634684522496/kamiya-dojo-monogatari-tales-12-jump-sq

“One customer...”

Omasu’s voice was calm.

In contrast, the gongs were struck madly and wildly.

Warning! Warning! Warning! It was the high-pitched sound of gongs that announced an emergency situation to all the employees of Aoiya.

Yahiko and Misao felt nervous. But what about Chou?

“Oh here! come, come!”

He greeted, cheerfully.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

The person was  Honjo Kamatari, a former Juppongatana, in the style of a pretty girl wearing a gorgeous furisode. Behind this person stand two muscular men Shirojo and Kurojo, who make no attempt to hide their wary stance. Surrounded by these men, Kamatari's dainty appearance stood out even more. But this person was a man too.

“I waited and waited. I've been waiting so long. Come on, let's get the stuff out.”

Chou put his hand out in front of Kamatari's eyes.

“Oh no.. I haven't seen you in a long time, stop saying money, money, right away. Can't you tell me how beautiful I've become after not seeing you for a while?”

“Yes, yes, beautiful, beautiful. Kamatari is always beautiful, everytime I meet. Is this it?

Then he flapped his palms.

“I don't like that kind of messy flattery. Hey, look at this. Look at this lace collar. It’s made from imported lace. Isn't it pretty?”

“Ah, yes, yes.”

Chang's reply was short.

“Oh, it's really pretty!”

Misao, who was nearby, reacted with a smile.

“Isn't that right?”

Perhaps happy to be praised for the girl's honest reaction, Kamatari returned the compliment with a satisfied look.

“Ah!”

Immediately after she smiled, Misao raised her eyebrows in a panic.

“You guys, you're the enemy, how dare you come into Aoiya!”

“Enemies? That's not very nice.”

“Indeed, yesterday's enemy is today's friend.”

“It depends on the standard. Thanks to you, Aoiya was hit hard. We can't allow you to get away with it now, even if you're cooperating with the government.”

Misao's voice was rough and angry.

If you don't forgive me, I won't be able to fulfill the third purpose of my visit today, which is to ask about Aoshi's whereabouts.

There's no way I'm going to tell you guys about Aoshi-sama.

The conversation went on and on...  Then...

"Well, well, don't be so harsh, Misao.

It was Okina who came to the tatami room to intercede.

“Yesterday's enemy is today's friend, good words right? He was the enemy who dealt a heavy blow to Aoiya, but now he is a young man who is trying to work for the world and for others. Let's close one eye and watch over him.”

“Ew, Grandpa, you're too good for people!”

“But I only have to close one eye. I'll give you the hospitality of Aoiya for the full price. But I can't give you any information about Aoishi.”

He declared sternly.

“That's the way to do it, Granpa! When it's time to decide, we'll decide.”

Misao was relieved. When he first said that he would look out for these two former Shishio faction members, Chou and Kamatari, she thought she was not convinced. But this is a ryotei restaurant. We will uphold the main mission of a ryotei, but we will also uphold our main mission as Oniwabanshu. We will entertain them, but we will not give you information. Yes, that is the way it should be.

“I'm glad that you are going to watch over us starting our life, and I'm glad that you are going to entertain us at the ryotei, but honestly, we are in trouble if we don't have any information about Aoshi. We'll do something  for you about that.”

Okina shook his head at Chou, who put his hands together begging.

“If we have to, we have to settle for a win.”

“You'll give me information  if I win, right? “

“Of course.”

“Yessssss!”

Then, just like that, he put his hands on his hips. It's Chou, of course. There was no way he was coming here unarmed.

Everyone in the room tensed up.

But, Okina shouted out a warning and interrupted the tension!

“Wait!”

The atmosphere in the room hardened at his powerful roar.

“Aoiya is a ryotei restaurant, after all. A ryotei has its own way of playing the game.”

“A ryotei competition? Is this some kind of taste contest? I'm telling you, we are totally hopeless in the kitchen.”

“No way. If there is a competition in a ryotei restaurant, Kurojo and Shirojo, the signature chefs of Aoiya, are sure to win. I am well aware that you would not take part in such a contest.”

“Then what is a ryotei game?”

“The ryotei game. It's called *)Toraken!”

He raised his voice and said ‘Toraken’ with all energy.

The force of his words made Chou flinch.

“Tiger fist... What? Is that Chinese martial arts or something?”

“Let me explain. Toraken is a game of tatami room played by geisha for entertainment.”

“Play! I thought we were fighting.”

Chou was not pleased, but Kamatari was very enthusiastic.

“A game! I like that. I've always wanted to try it.”

“You're going to teach me how to do this, right?”

“Of course.”

Toraken.

It is, roughly speaking, a kind of "rock-paper-scissors" game.

However, there is a story behind the toraken that originated in the joruri (a type of Japanese puppet play) written by *)Chikamatsu Monzaemon.

Long ago, there was a military commander named Watounai, whose father was Chinese and mother was Japanese, who devoted himself to the revival of the Ming Dynasty. The general was very strong and could kill a tiger with his hunting rifle, making him stronger than the tiger.

However, even such a strong Watounai was vulnerable to his aging, cane-wielding mother.

And the old mother was no match for the tiger.

.

Watounai won over the tiger, the mother won over Watounai, and the tiger won over the mother.

.

The relationship between Watounai, his mother, and the tiger was like "rock, scissor, and paper".

.

But this was how the game was played in the tatami room.

First, a folding screen was prepared to hide the figures. The person stood on the right and left sides of the folding screen, respectively. This made it impossible for the participants to see each other.

Then they  danced to the *)shamisen, and sang the toraken song. At the end of the song, the winner was decided by whether their dance pose should be "Watounai aiming at his prey with a hunting rifle," "Watounai's mother with a walking stick," or "a tiger crawling on all fours, stalking its prey".

・

“So, Shirojo, Kurojo, you go back to the kitchen and continue your work as cooks. Misao, bring in the dishes. Also, call Ochika and Omasu and bring them a folding screen and a shamisen. Our guests should enjoy the fun of ryotei tatami room games!”

The three of them moved quickly under Okina’s direction.

Ochika and Omasu positioned the partition screen.

“First of all, let me show you the Toraken dance as a model. It is a simple compositon, and you will learn it quickly.”

Ochika set up the shamisen, adjusted the strings a little, and began to sing.

“*)Tora to-ra Tora to-ra

Tora to-ra, tora to-ra”

Okina clapped his hands cheerfully, and Ochika's singing followed.

“Running Thousands of miles - through the numbers

Everyone, take a peek.”

Here, Okina made a gesture as if he were running through a number of them and peeking into their eyes.

The song and dance seem to be in tune with each other so could be easily understood.

“Gold-brocade wrapper band

Watounai gabbling endlessly

The beast that was captured

Tora to-ra Tora to-ra

Tora to-ra Tora to-ra

Tora to-ra Tora to-ra”

When the song "Toratora Toratora" was ended, the two people who couldn't see each other came out from the partition screen and posed as Watounai, or the mother, or the tiger. Then, for example, if he was Watounai, he won against the tiger and lost against the mother, and if they both were Watounai, the game was a draw.

・

“Yes,yes! I get it, I can't wait to try it for real."

Kamatari's eyes lit up, then the food and sake were brought to them.

“Well, before that, let's have a drink. These games are supposed to be fun.”

“Good!”

On top of the serving table were a feast of cooked *)mizuna, deep-fried tofu, seasonal vegetable tempura, sashimi, and shrimp balls .

“Delicious!”

“It tastes great!”

“Yes, it's good.”

Kamatari, Chou, and Yahiko enjoyed the taste of the ryotei. Kamatari and Chou also enjoyed sake from Kyoto. Only Yahiko, who had previously had a bad experience with Sanosuke and Tsukioka Tsunan by drinking sake at a party, decided to have a cup of tea.

When the delicious food had made them feel refreshed, Okina said to them.

“Well then, it's time to start the game.”

Yahiko cut him off.

“I'm not in the game because I'm not the one who wants to get information. I'm going to observe.”

“Oh, that's true. Well, then Kamatari in my group, Old man... I'd like to play with Omasu-chan, the pretty girl who first showed me the room.”

After bringing the folding screen, Omasu, who had been preparing the room, stood up.

“Yes, sir.”

“Then I'll play with the pretty girl.”

“Oh, you're good.”

Kamatari was thrilled and quickly entered the shadow behind the folding screen. Okina was also ready.

“Tora to-ra Tora to-ra

Tora to-ra, tora to-ra”

They were dancing on Ochika's shamisen... and the result.

Kamatari, tiger. Okina, tiger.

It was a draw.

“If it's a draw, we'll have one drink each and then move on to the next group.”

Okina poured sake into Kamatari's cup.

“Well, take a swig.”

Kamatari drank too.

“Here for you!”

In a good mood, Kamatari poured sake for Okina.

The next match was between Chou and Omasu. However, this game ended in a draw too between Watounai and Watounai, and the drinking party continued.

・

“Can I have a word?”

With the merry, drunken adults at his back, Misao called Yahiko to the end of the hallway.

“We don't know the whereabouts of Aoshi-sama either, you know. It's Grandpa''s intention to get them out of the house by getting them drunk in the tatami room and making a nice mess of it.”

“Well, that's pretty much what I figured.”

Yahiko nodded.

“It was the same when he was hired by Takeda Kanryu. I was worried about Aoshi-sama when I heard that a secret police detective was after his whereabouts in Aoiya. I'm thinking of tracking down Aoishi-sama, Yahiko, have you heard anything from Chou?”

Misao’s concern was serious. He could feel her pain. However, to tell her Chou’s story about the bodyguard job to her would mean a betrayal on Chou’s mission.

Chou and Kamatari were drunk, and Yahiko was in a dilemma with information about Aoshi.

・

Meanwhile Kamiya Dojo. Kaoru was having tea with Kenshin.

“Kenshin, I'm thinking of going to visit Hiruma Gohei tomorrow.

“Oro? Why?”

“I heard that his injury has been lingering for quite a while, and I'm worried.”

“Eh, but he was like an enemy to Kamiya Dojo.”

“Yesterday's enemy is today's friend. I think it was fate that I saved him from being attacked by a gang of thugs.”

“But I am worried about you with your pregnancy, that I should be. I will accompany you, that I will.”

Notes:

*)Toraken (Tiger Fist): A rock, paper, scissors game with gesture setting a folding screen between players and toss up to the shamisen. At the end of the song “tora to ra to ra tora tora to ra to ra tora”, jump from the behind of the screen and strike a pose.

Tiger → perform tiger pose with growling (a rock)

An old lady → perform walking with a stick pose (scissors)

Watonai → perform attacking pose (paper)

*)Chikamatsu Monzaemon was a Japanese dramatist of jōruri, the form of puppet theater that later came to be known as bunraku, and the live-actor drama, kabuki.

*)Shamisen: a Japanese traditional instrument .

*)Mizuna is a leafy green vegetable that's native to East Asia. It's also referred to as Japanese mustard greens, spider mustard, or konya.

.…..continue in chapter 14……

https://kenkaodoll.tumblr.com/post/680235111634141184/kamiya-dojo-monogatari-tales-14-jump-sq

TLnote(1): translating Japanese is so hard because the sentence structure is very different compared with the English also the style of writing is different, plus there’s a lot of figurative, poetic language and things that sounds not making sense if it’s directly translated into english. So forgive me if this is very weird to read, and please tell me if you want give corrections.

TLnote(2) I will provide the original Japanese text for correction if any of you who read have better knowledge of Japanese language. Just dm and I’ll send the file.

TLnote(3) Dtninja had translated some earlier chapters in his website. You can go and check on there.

Read the rest of the story here: https://www.tumblr.com/kenkaodoll/686193523858538496/rurouni-kenshin-tales-of-kamiya-dojo?source=share

[bellybiologist]

Current Dealings and Collecting Some Feedback/Opinions

(This is a post on my patreon, copypasted to here)

Hey guys, Just coming to reiterated what some of my original plans were, what's going on personally, and to collect some feedback on what I want to try to do this November and December.

Currently, since my mom passed, my household BASICALLY lost somewhere between 1/2 to 2/3rds of our income, and my patreon earnings are, atm, the only income I'm getting to pay for rent and all our various other bills until my aunt finds steady employment (she has some income working for a friend, but that friend is a douche and she's trying to get out of that).

It's been real rough for the both of us. Just recently, we paid off the 300+ dollar bill for the electricity that the oxygen compressor my mom required just to breathe at home for the couple months before she died, and only with help from my uncle.

She passed in august, we had her cremated, and we had her funeral and had to deal with a lot of stuff she hoarded in September due to apartment management needing to deal with maintenance. And i'm just currently... not feeling great if i'm being honest, especially after her birthday which was on the 13th of october (3 days before mine which was on the 16th).

Fall/Winter is always rough because its the season my mood drops in general, and the fact that i've recently lost my favorite person this year has my anxiety at an all time high, and energy at an all time low. I'm getting work done slowly, but my constant mood is basically that one meme image of Coraline's dad from the movie.

Anyway. I definitely need a break before i burn out or simply break down. Initially, I planned on taking my month off in January, but I think i'm going to need to take some time off earlier so i dont really crash and burn.

However, I can't really take a break cuz i need the income due to the above reasons. I only have like, 2 months rent saved up at any given point, so I'm feeling very pressured to power through and keep working... which, objectively, is not a great idea for anyone's mental/physical health, especially when I haven't felt like i had time to properly grieve and acclimate, and it's starting to catch up to me.

=====

So here's a proposition that I'd like to collect feedback on.

For November, December, and maybe January, I will continue to produce patreon exclusive content. But during these month's, I will be producing a reduced amount, thus giving me more time to rest, and more time to finally catch up on the commissions i owe (I'm very sorry for those who have been waiting since April. I simply could not predict how devastating my summer was gonna be 😔. I appreciate all of you guys' patience, but if it's still too much of a wait, do remember i still offer refunds as long as i havent sent a completed piece... which basically means you all apply, lmao.)

So for the month's with reduced content, I will still hold theme and character polls for people to exert their voting powers. However! I will only be doing fills for the first top 3 winners, and each will only be getting a single fill (as in, no sequences, similar to the 3rd and 4th place fills).

=====

Let me know what you think! I'm hoping this temporary set up wont last no longer than into January and that i can get back on the ball and have an at least half-way decent 2022, but it's gonna take some doing for sure. Once again, thanks for all of your support! Despite how badly things went this year, the few things I was able to do for my mother while she was sick this summer is all thanks to you guys. So i'm eternally grateful for that. 🙏🏽

[bookwyrminspiration]

okay it's getting late and i'm only just finished with chapter 6- but quil best writer award when???

seriously though i haven't been invested in kotlc in a short while because of other stuff and the lack of new official content, but dang- this is really good- it's like a full book! like full- with the storyline, and the wording, and the development! i checked the wordcount before i started reading- and quil... you WROTE A WHOLE BOOK?! you're still writing a book!

I just- wow!

anyways i'll be back to finish this in the next few days, but i'm super excited to catch up and i'm super excited for dragon wings marella lol

i think you should know that every time I answer one of these I have to pull up the chapter you're talking about in a different tab because i never remember what happens in each one. You probably know what happens in the first chapters better than I do tbh, which I think is hilarious. but back to what you're saying

"quil best writer award when." I'm. I am floored. I am speechless. I am so flattered. this is such high praise!! i am just a funky little guy writing some funky little words!! I feel I must confess this: I actually hardly edit the au at all. ever. when I say I'm "editing" I actually mean "I'm reading it once to see if there's obvious things wrong or things I want to explain more" but that's it. every chapter has just been a first draft, go with the flow kinda thing. and yet!! here we are!! I don't even know what i'd do with a best writer award--probably put it next to the new dragon on my bookshelf so they could vibe. I don't know if what i'm saying makes any sense, but ahh!! thank you!!

I will single-handedly rebuild the fandom during this content drought and reel you all back in with my novel-length fanfiction /j. okay but honestly the wings au is probably gonna turn out to be like...actually fantasy-novel length at this rate. like a published novel. but thank you so much--the storyline was one of the things I was hesitant about when i first published it, because I essentially just went "hey. remember those eight and a half novels and all their worldbuilding? forget almost everything. i've broken it into pieces and we're starting over." but you all have been overwhelmingly kind and supportive of all the changes and the way i've incorporated their old world into this new one I broke. and the wording! I try to stay true to some of Shannon's style, as sometimes when a fanfic author has a style too different from the original media it can feel weird and less like the characters (not always! there are several fics out there with very unique writing styles that don't feel strange at all, this is just something I've personally noticed). But, shannon is also writing for middle grade, and I wanted to add my own personal twist instead of just using her voice. so there's some things of my own that I do (most noticeable is the intentional misuse of grammar for drama, probably, but I am curious what else you all notice that's unique to me) and don't do (I don't think i've used "corrected" as a dialogue tag more than a handful of times) to separate it. and then the development! a lot of development in canon rn has to do with romantic relationships, as we're focusing on the aftermath of sophitz and a focus on sophie and keefe, but we can't separate them from their tension and denial at the moment. I think there's a lot more to them we don't get to see because of it, so I'm trying to develop some of that in the wings au (and there's some characters I just haven't gotten to yet, like Wylie and Maruca, so I'm not ignoring them, dw)

and yes! I am still basically writing a book! at this point I should design a cover for it too...I wonder what would be on it, the parts that stand out the most in the story that I should symbolize it all in one image. but before I get to that I should continue writing the story I suppose! I'm currently maybe 40% (rough estimate) of the way through writing chapter 13, but I must admit my classes do make it annoying at times, taking up more time than I would like (this is what I get for taking more classes than I strictly needed to. I do not know how to take a break when it comes to education /lh). but that's not important rn

you sent this a few days ago, so I don't know if you've finished your reread/catch-up since then, but if you did I hope you enjoyed it!! if you haven't then I hope you will enjoy if you ever do read the rest! there's about a week before the next chapter comes out, which is around 8.1k words at the moment (same length as the last one), so if you are caught up then there's even more to look forward to soon! and i'll probably post the first snippet from chapter 12 tomorrow, as I usually do that the sunday before posting day.

dragon wings Marella owns my entire heart and i'm very excited to do more with her (was actually writing about her earlier today!).

[chrospw-doodles]

When the Ink doesn’t flow

So... for starters this is a rant I wrote somewhere between september and november of 2020, it was intended to be posted in my main blog @chrispriceway back then, but I decided to put this here to avoid being too too personal there, I mean it is supposed to be a happy place to goof around and show you cool stuff, that’s why I made this side blog, to be more personal and less awkard so, yeh.

Chris-Jan.2021

What's up everybody, I know I haven't posted anything in a while and I wanted to adress my abcense and some other stuff that I wanted to talk about but never knew how to bring it up.

So, to those who follow me and dont really know who am I as a content creator:

hi, the name is Christian, you can call me Chris, I'm somewhat of an artist and like to post my stuff here.

Now, even if you have been following me for a while you may have noticed that I really don't post very often and that I haven't been around for a while even if I claim that I'm trying to be more active, well I think it's about time to talk about the issue and make some big changes around here.

But first of all, why does it even matter?

Well, to be honest the past three to four years I haven't really seen my online connection as serious business since I am primarly a student, and school does suck all of my time, the problem with that is that I really feel like I havent been respectful to you, the audience, not that I owe you anything but since I am now trying to make a living from my art, it is necessary to take this connection between the audience seriously and with a bit more respect.

In those three years all I've ever did was too much talk and too little deliver, so I apologize to those people who were really invested into the stuff I do, I really appreciate you guys.

So with that aside...

I wanted to talk about mental health.

well MY mental health

I know what you may be thinking, "what the heck Chris? What does this have to do with you being a lazy ass biss?"

Well, it's kinda simple as it is complicated so I will be putting here some bullets to make it easier to you to navigate through and to let you know how long it is going to be to those who really really just want to skip this post already

Introduction

Danplan Drama

College is a biss

When job becomes priority over school

How did all of this affect my mental state

And how I feel about it

Final thoughts

I'm not okay

Well, was, not anymore (mostly), or at least not as serious as I was some monts ago. Listen, shit went down, it's 2020 and that was inevitable, but I really want to go trough some points to give you context.

This year has been specially rough to me because of some circumstances that a few may know, but for context I'll be telling you about it.

The danplan shit did a lotta damage my bros

Ah, yes, long story short, I was an animator in that channel before the figgin drama

But it wasnt really that bad, you see, I really think that it was inevitable that it was going to end like that because of how are those two, but at the time I had to shut a lot of stuff because I didn't wanted to make it worse as the other animators did... but in retrospective, If we had talked about how we felt about the issue in that moment maybe it could have been better, or maybe not, I don't know and maybe I'll post a rant about it some other time (or maybe I wont), the point. is.

It was emotionally taxing, and to be honest it screwed me very bad. You see, I know I am not that good of an artist in comparisson to the others, nor have the best management of my social media, or another project to keep me on the public eye for a while, and since I went back to school I couldnt possible be hired by another channel because of my lack of time; so loosing my job at danplan was a HUGE deal to me because I knew that none of the jobs available in my country could pay off as good nor be as flexible as being an animator was, so that whole ordeal was really, really frustrating.

Then school became a living hell

Since I escentially lost that job I did try desperately to find anything as good to fill the void (it sounds dramatic but believe me, it felt really bad fam.) So the opportunity presented itself and I took a bone in stephen's channel.

In all honesty it was a good job and it was quite fun, but I didn't really stayed as a full time animator, I believe it was due lack of time or maybe my style wasn't really what they were going for, and tbh fair game... but it was still bad news for me because I was that desperate to find a new job, and I was so inmersed on doing that so I wasn't taking good care of my grades.

So now I had two problems, no job, and I was doing terrible on school because of my obsession with the job hunting.

And at the time I was still part of the community...

I was very active in the dp community and in Pau's server, I found great people and did some art because I really felt happy about it...

But honestly, that didn't last long.

School started to be a real problem and I did fail two of my school subjects, at the end of the semester I was burned out, and sleep deprived, so there was that.

One of my finals was a video talking about the drama and stuff and I've never finished it because I ran out of time and eventually I didn't felt it right abaut it, because it was like opening a grave again, like it was something too disrespectful even if it was originally intended for the sake of the animators, to give them, us, some justice at the end of the day... but I couldn't do it. It wasn't fair to everyone else because they moved on.

And that was the beginning of this crappy thing I've been carrying around.

I just. Can't. Finish. Anything.

I just overthink everything and fail before I begin any of the pieces, or Im about to finish but change my mind because Its. Not. Good. Enough.

I have a TON of pieces that never saw the light of the day BECAUSE I'm not in the right state of mind, and it is painful, because I love doing art as much as I love engaging with you guys, even if you are a few to maybe 10 people, I enjoy it. And It sucks to not be able to do stuff because I feel crappy.

And I know for fact that feeling crappy it's a crappy excuse to not do anything

But I don't mean that to anyone else but myself, because I feel like I could be better and do better, but... it isn't working, the global situation did some damage too, and I've been manageing, still, I haven't been able to finish a lot of stuff and honestly, I just want to come back before I become a ghost account.

So what's up? What's poppin'?

The plan is to try to force myself to finish at least one piece per week to keep this alive until I find the will to work normally again.

Maybe it's not the best solution, but I think this will motivate me a little since I really want to materialize some projects that I have had on the back of my head for a long time now, and I really want to start em' and share it with you along the way... so yeah, that's basically it.

Well, that was a long one, and if you happened read this far, thank you, I really appreciate it.

I hope I will be seeing you soon...

Stay creative, my dudes.