#guess who'se kids those are

[mimir97477906]

idk what half of these are

[lemonsandstrawberries]

Knock, Knock Jokes

fandom: Stony (Steve x Tony), Superfamily (Tony and Steve adopt Peter Parker as their son)

summary: Peter already feels like an awkward teenager and braces just add to his freakishness and he swears to not open his mouth until braces will be gone. Neither Tony or Steve will allow that to happen. 

length: 1 243 words 

a/n: inspired by this prompt! hope you will like it, likes, reblogs and feedback are needed and appreciated :D!

—————

Knock, Knock Jokes

"Honestly, buddy, it is not that bad."

Silence.

"You barely notice them."

More silence and Peter didn't even look up.

"You will see, soon you will stop noticing them too."

The falsely optimistic tone, made Peter just feel more wounded. He sunk into the backseat of the car and glared at his pop's head. Peter was ruined. His whole life was ruined.

The whole ride back home was full of uncomfortable silence but Steve decided to not provoke his son. Maybe Tony would handle it better.

"Hey, you are back! Let me see!"

Peter stood in shock, eyes widening and glistening as tears quickly gathered in them. He tossed his jacket aside and scurried past Tony, still not saying a word.

"Pete!" Tony turned after his son, not understanding the dramatic reaction. He heard Steve sighing. "What? Whaat?" Tony asked when Steve just shook his head. Tony definitely didn't help.

"I think he is embarrassed," Steve said sadly. Being a young teenager was weird. Peter's voice was cracking, first zits were showing on his face and he was going through some impressive growth spurt, his limbs getting too long, almost not matching the rest of him. In Tony's and Steve's eyes, Peter looked like a perfectly good and normal teenager. Peter saw himself as a freak. A freak with a mouth full of metal.

"Because of the braces? But that's nothing!" Tony concluded, "besides, he will thank us later for this when he will have a smile like from toothpaste commercial!"

"I guess that until that we can forget about seeing Peter's smile," Steve sighed again.

"That's not good," Tony said in all seriousness.

"Definitely not good. Did you cook lunch?"

"Yeah. Tomato soup with noodles and got some soy pudding for dessert," Tony answered, doing his research on what to eat to not cause further discomfort in the first days of wearing braces. Just to make it easier, both Tony and Steve decided to follow the new diet regimen and support their son. That meant no crunchy or sticky food for a while.

"Great," Steve smiled, kissing the top of Tony's head. "Now we just need to convince Pete to open his mouth."

Tony grimaced. Being a parent of a teenager was hard and sometimes he missed the times when his biggest problem was dealing with stinky diapers.

Tony and Steve assumed, that Peter locked himself in his room. Instead, they found him in the living room, absentmindedly jumping through the channels, not paying attention to what was happening on the screen. Tony and Steve exchanged worried looks.

"Hey, son," Steve started cautiously, sitting in the armchair, giving Peter some space. Tony didn't believe in personal space when it came to his family and friends, and plopped down on the couch, knee to knee with Peter.

"Listen, kid, it won't be so bad," Tony tried soothing, and reached his hand to brush Peter's brown hair, but the teenager snapped his head away. Tony looked a bit shocked at that.

"Peter, I know you are upset, but there is no reason to act like that," Steve warned, and his son huffed and rolled his eyes, seeing it differently.

Tony had a different approach. "It is just gonna be like, what, two years?" he looked over at his husband, seeing Steve nod. "Two years. The time will fly before you even notice!"

Peter huffed his cheeks out. He was already counting days and there was no way two years would magically pass just like that.

"Can you talk to us?" Steve asked and Peter shook his head. "Do you plan on not talking until braces are off?"

After a moment, Peter nodded. Yes, that seemed like a good plan.

"Pft, what?" Tony snorted, not imagining someone staying quiet for two years. Or two days. Or two hours. Two minutes without talking was even too long. Steve complained that he talked even in his sleep. Tony just loved talking. "There is no way you can - knock, knock!"

Peter blinked and looked at his dad, frowning. No way.

"Knock knock!" Tony insisted with a bright smile as if to make a point. Peter stubbornly didn't answer.

"Who'se there?" Steve decided to play along instead of their son.

"Etch."

"Etch who?"

"Bless you!"

Oh no. Peter just hid his face into his hands. Not those lame knock knock jokes.

Of course, Tony and Steve laughed. It was a lame parents' humor. The superhero status didn't make any difference when it came to parenting.

"Knock, knock!"

"Who'se there?"

"Lettuce."

"Lettuce who?"

"Lettuce in, it is cold outside!"

More laughter and Peter started to plan his escapes.

"Aha, I think I see the start of a smile!" Tony pointed out happily.

Peter moved his hands lower, pressing one palm to his mouth to hide the smile. He couldn't help it, he did inherit the lame sense of humor after his parents.

"We need more jokes! Steve, your turn!"

"Eee… What do you call a dog that can do magic?" Steve waited for an answer and Tony shrugged with a bright smile, encouraging his husband to answer. "A Labracadabrador."

That was stupid. Yet, Tony burst into laughter and Peter did too, although a lot subtler than Tony.

"Aha! Gotcha, buddy!" Tony kept smiling, gently running his finger over Peter's side, trying to add to his smile. There was a gasp and Peter wriggled away, eyes flashing warning signs, which were gone when Tony didn't go subtle anymore and squeezed his son's flank. Peter squawked, twitching away, some real laughter finally leaving him.

"Dahahad! Stop!" Peter demanded, trying to bat on Tony's intrusive hand, bright giggles spilling out freely.

"Oh, now you can talk! It is like your first words all over again!" Tony fake sniffled, in a pretended touching moment, withdrawing his hand when he decided that Peter had enough and he didn't want to push his son too far. Before Peter could scoff and indignantly storm out, Tony held him back. "Pete, listen to me," he said in a serious voice and the tone made Peter look over at his dad. Tony smiled. "Everything will be fine. I promise," Tony said in all seriousness and something in his voice and posture made Peter feel like bursting into tears. He should have remembered that both of his parents always had his back.

"Thanks, dad," Peter said, trying to control himself and scooted closer to Tony, putting his forehead on his dad's shoulder. Tony didn't hesitate and wrapped arms around Peter, placing a kiss on the mass of brown hair.

"Love you, buddy," Tony said quickly, not expecting an answer. Peter was growing up and such tender moments would happen less and less often, and while Tony didn't like it, it was something he would have to deal with. "Let's go eat. Made your favorite soup, unfortunately, we can't have regular pudding for dessert, because your pop is lactose intolerant and he would gas us to death."

Peter laughed, this time for real and out of his free will and stood up with his parents.

"Hey, since when it is about me?" Steve scoffed in good humor, joining his son and husband and enjoying how Peter smiled at him. That smile told him a lot.

"It is always about you. You are a true diva, always craving attention," Tony blabbed and Steve argued, that Tony clearly was talking about himself, and Peter kept laughing all the way to the kitchen.