#guess i'd rather laugh than dwell on the knowledge that i'm a set of walking trigger warnings that must be censored
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seventh-district · 10 months ago
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#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#cw vent post#vent#cw vent#wound mention#sighs deeply#had to take my shirt off for someone recently for medical reasons and while 'oh you poor thing..' is far from the worst response ive gotten#it's definitely still strange to hear. like i'm not rlly surprised‚ i am aware that i'm an upsetting sight#and i keep myself covered all the time to avoid upsetting people that can't handle the sight of marred skin#but i've grown so comfortable in my body over all these years that an interesting side effect of that is that i tend to forget#just how shocked and upset and worried ppl tend to get when they see me. it's almost funny. the sad kind of funny i guess#guess i'd rather laugh than dwell on the knowledge that i'm a set of walking trigger warnings that must be censored#anyways. that experience combined with the stressful and tiring process of tending to a wound on my back for the last 2 weeks#has me thinking about Ch. 5 of AEIWNF. for... reasons. so maybe i'll finally make myself draft and post that today#there's so many things i need to make myself do but the appeal of just sitting alone weaving bracelets and binge-listening to TMA is strong#the urge to be alone and craft things while listening to stories told through a lo-fi medium... where does it come from#that's a rhetorical question i know exactly where it came from. i'm just turning into both of my grandmothers lmao#what's the line. 'i've got my grandmother's veins in the back of my hands' what's that from. it's a Wonder Years song right#Hoodie Weather!!! yeah that's it. man i haven't listened to that in ages. maybe that'll be today's weather report#anyways. what else can i vent about. uhh. it's getting harder and harder to put my thoughts into words and that's concerning!#i'm fighting the desire to push everyone away again even though it feels like i should. i'm too toxic of a person#like. talk to any of the people that have ghosted/blocked me and they'll likely tell you to stop wasting your time on me lmao#and they'd probably be right. i'm so caught up in my own issues that i feel bad for anyone that tries to be friendly to me#everyone gets sick of my shit eventually. i'm overbearing and self-centered or you don't hear from me for months. there's no inbetween#i wish there was. god i wish there was#i'm never active on here anymore bc i feel like if i am then that's disrespectful to everyone waiting to hear back from me#but it's so much easier for me to post and reblog stuff than it is to talk one on one with literally anyone#it's not even social anxiety atp there's just something wrong with my brain. like not to self diagnose but Something's Wrong#okay that's enough whining. gonna go try to do something productive to make myself feel less useless
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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 4 years ago
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You will be mine - Chapter 18. Sly moves [Park Jimin x Reader]
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Title: You will be mine - Chapter 18. Sly moves ➔ Chapter 19. Here! Pairing: Park Jimin x Female!Reader Published: 25 June, 2020 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore
You will be mine Masterlist | Masterlists
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As it was already the weekend and I was no way in the mood to be stuck in my house. I tried to convince Yojin to go out, but she was hotheadedly against my ingenious idea. She didn't want to get dressed, she didn't want to leave the house, she just wanted to snuggle up to Hoseok in her comfortable bed. Which I understood, completely. But I couldn't let that happen. They were always stuck together and I was determined to get them out. As my friend was protesting against all my ideas, I decided to call her boyfriend instead, before she could have picked up the phone to do so. Sly, but brilliant move on my side.
"Hello?" I heard his deep voice from the other side of the line.
"I need to go out." I stated with clear determination in my voice.
"Y/N?" He questioned in an unsure tone. "How am I stopping you?" He chuckled with confusion.
"Your other half does." I replied groaning. "I have asked her to go to a club or noraebang or anywhere really, but she refuses to move from her bed, waiting for you to cuddle up." I spoke with sarcasm in my voice and he chuckled at my indignant tone. "Please, you have to convince her. I don't want to sit at home." I was almost begging him and I knew he enjoyed the situation.
"Don't worry, I will talk to her." He sighed and I could hear the smile in his voice.
"Thanks. Then we can meet at 8pm in front of the train station." I stated firmly.
"Hold up. I didn't agree to go." He detested.
"Actually, you did. You said, you would talk to her and we both know she wouldn't want to go out without you, so she will ask you to join her, which you will be glad to agree to. But we both know you wouldn't want to go out with just 2 girls, so obviously you will be calling the boys as well. So 8pm, okay?" I asked in the most innocent tone I could master.
"You thought about everything, didn't you?" He asked as if he was surprised, but he knew me better than that.
"There's a genius brain hidden under this skull." I chuckled.
"Do I even have a choice?" He asked, but his voice betrayed him. I knew he already gave in.
"Of course, you have." I reassured him. "You can decide to call Yojin or the boys first." I grinned at my brilliance.
"Fine!" He heaved a sigh, before hanging up with a quick 'See you later.'
I was rather proud of myself for being so convincing, almost surprising myself at how well I thought out the whole idea. Before I could have dwelled too long into my proud moment, I walked into the bathroom. I set my phone on shuffle and I put on a random playlist which I happily hummed along to. I quickly took a shower, brushed my teeth, washed my hair and blow dried it. I put on some black eyeliner and mascara which basically exhausted my knowledge of make up.
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I headed back to my room with the towel carefully wrapped around my body and walked up to my wardrobe, looking for some cloths that were both nice and comfortable at the same time. I immediately found a black crop top with a turtle neck and cut out shoulders, its sleeves ending just above my elbows.
I was still struggling to find something for the lower part of my body. Skirts weren't my thing, I felt more comfortable in trousers. I didn't want to wear anything tight either, I just felt it would suffocate me. After about 15 minutes of throwing more than half of my wardrobe onto my bed, I found just the perfect piece. Black, faux leather trousers with just about enough bagginess to them. I didn't even think twice about the shoes, I had only two pairs of high heels. I knew my high heel boots would be more efficient, but I wanted to feel more feminine, more powerful that night. I picked out some jewelleries and accessories, before I looked into the mirror and proudly nodded at my appearance.
I picked up my phone and chose Yojin's profile from my speed dial.
"Are you getting ready?" I asked innocently, but she just growled.
"Asking Hoseok to force me to agree was low even from you." She complained, between two groaning sounds.
"I'd rather call it genius, but we can go with your version." I smirked and I knew she knew it too.
"I hate you." She said, but I knew she didn't mean it. "I think I am ready though." She huffed, annoyed. She sent over a photo, that assumingly Hoseok took of her judging by the angle. She was wearing a white summer dress that was shorter on the front and longer at the back with a black leather jacket and a black and nude pair of high heels.
"Very nice. I'm proud of you." I spoke softly. She really looked very pretty, she just didn't always realise. "So are we good to meet at 8?" I asked and I could hear her agreement in the form of a hum. "If you let go of Hoseok's tongue in time, you might even get there by 8pm." I chuckled and hang up, before she could have sworn at me.
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It was past 7.30pm by the time I looked at the watch on my phone. I took my shoulder bag and folded my black leather jacket over it as I left my house. I was in no rush and the station wasn't far, but I had no better things to do and I didn't feel like sitting around, doing nothing.
As I got closer to the station entrance, I saw a group of people in a circle. Some of them were sitting on a bench, some of them were standing around. Yojin was occupying a seat next to Hoseok, while resting her head against his shoulder. Namjoon was sitting next to them, looking up at Yoongi and Taehyung who were standing in from of the couple, while having a seemingly serious conversation. Jongkook was trying to annoy Namjoon by gently kicking his leg a couple of times, but he didn't seem to mind. I could spot Jimin and Jin, who were standing a bit farther from the group, gesturing strongly to explain something to each other.
As I got closer to the group and Jimin turned towards me, I could swear he ran his gaze up and down on my body, but I quickly shook the thought out of my head. I wanted to enjoy his attention, but I knew it would have just hurt me if I gave myself false hope, so I just tried to ignore his intense gaze as I walked up to the group. I leaned down to Yojin and gave a kiss on her cheek which she returned. We often greeted each other that way when we were out of school as it was normal for me from back home.
"Can I get one too?" Jungkook asked with a big smirk across his face.
"Do you deserve it?" I asked with a cheerful grin.
"Have you met me?" He asked with a confident tone and I couldn't keep a laugh leaving my lungs. I leaned closer, placing my hand on his shoulder, standing on my tiptoe as I gave a peck on his cheek.
"You happy now?" I asked chuckling at his suddenly pink cheeks. "You are blushing." I pinched his soft skin where I gave him a kiss. "Cute." I smiled at him
"I'm suddenly feeling very lucky tonight." He said with a childish enthusiasms and an ever growing grin across his still blushing cheeks.
"You look good today." Namjoon interrupted his friend.
"Today? Do I look bad on any other day?" I asked pretending to be upset.
"No, of course not. I meant to compliment you." He said putting his hands in front of him, trying to prove his innocence.
"Don't worry. I know." I chuckled at his behaviour as I pushed his arms down. "And thank you."
We head down to the underground station, to head into central Seoul. Our destination was Hapjeong as we were aware that clubs in Hongdae would not let us in. Noone under 19 was allowed to enter the clubs. However Hapjeong had its perks with its hidden clubs.
As we got on the train, I sat down right next to the door and Jimin took the seat next to me. I gulped at the thought of being so close to him, but quickly tried to get rid of it, before I hurt myself again.
"You look really good." He spoke, but he didn't turn his gaze to me.
"Thanks, I guess." I replied and he finally turned towards me.
"You guess?" He asked with a confused expression.
"Yes, well you didn't look at me while you said it." I chuckled at his confusion.
"Believe me, I looked at you enough before." He said in a soft tone and I wasn't sure how to take that.
"What do you mean?" I asked, this time confusion clear in my voice. However instead of explaining he just looked into my eyes.
"You look very pretty." He spoke, not even leaving my eyes for a second. I smiled softly at him.
"Thank you." I replied. "You don't look bad yourself either." I grinned as I scanned his body from head to toe. His black suit jacket, black jeans and black trainers complemented his white shirt perfectly. A casual, but elegant look at the same time.
"Thanks." He smirked and gave me a mischievous wink as I ran my eyes up and down on him. I turned away, with a cheeky smile still hiding in the corner of my lips. I wanted to forget him, but it was very hard, considering he was always around with that playful personality of his.
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Notes: If you enjoyed it, don't forget to like the chapter. Thank you :)
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